The Forest, Book 3; The Radio
A new story in the "Forest" Series...No sex in this one, just decided to write something to keep things moving_ *. This story has some references to sex, but no such scenes are in it. There's also some language. * _I had a lot of fun writing this one, gave me a chance to parody music and culture in a way that was kind of hard to do in this setting, but I think it pulled off rather well. Look out for some musical references while you read!
The Forest; Book 3
The Radio
Stevenson the Sparrow had a great many triumphs.
He had directed the hollowing out of The Great Oak, organized the peace between predator/prey, created a set of glasses for himself, and organized the agricultural farms to the southeast. But, in recent weeks, he had been working on a secret project-one that greatly brought the interest of many curious creatures peering through his door atop the Great Oak.
He had shooed them away, allowing only Ed and Patio (and occasionally Adam) to see his project. Today he would unveil it; his master creation, a revival of human ingenuity to the use of all animals...
The Radio.
It had started out as a side-project, a hobby. It had eventually grown into an obsession, and he had sunk a total of three weeks into it to bring it back to life.
He had found it alongside a human roadway, far, far to the south while scouting, as he sometimes liked to do-pretending he was a hawk. It was broken, but all of its pieces were there, scattered among the debris. He had brought them all back. And, after researching what is was by flying towards human homes and watching similar instruments, he set to fixing it. The day had come; it was finished; and now, alongside Ed and Patio, he stood atop the Great Oak, to a crowd of hundreds of creatures. Next to him was a massive, veiled contraption. He cleared his throat.
"Hello!" He called out. The chatter died down below.
"Mice and weasels, badgers and vixens, bears and falcons!" He was beginning very dramatically, and Ed and Patio noted this by sharing a knowing glance. "Today, I unveil an instrument of enjoyment; something to play for us all the music of man-"There were a few booing's. Steve went on. "And share with us an insight into the human world. I give you-The Radio!"
He whipped off the veil, revealing a gigantic satellite made up entirely of salvaged scrap metal, and at its base, a large, shakily constructed boom box radio. There was a hush over the crowd as Steve went to activate it.
Pressing a button and turning a knob, he tuned into the first station any animal had ever heard, and turned up the volume to a song he had randomly found. It turned out to be an unfortunate coincidence. The voice of what they assumed to be a woman blared through the speakers, shouting, what they assumed to be, the following words;
"-make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the week-"
Thankfully, it got no further as Patio sprinted to adjust the volume knob. Below them every creature was holding their paws to their ears and screaming. A terrible first experience, Stevenson smiled sheepishly to his horrified friends and adjusted the knobs once more. A much more acceptable song tuned in, and filled the Forest with a calmer melody. Stevenson had found a neutral jazz station.
"Sorry!" He called down to the still smarting creatures. "Sorry, I'll keep trying-first time using this, you know! Until I can figure out what other stations we can listen to, we'll have to stick with this." There was a collective mumbling at the foot of The Great Oak, but no one complained. This jazz was much better than...what had been before.
As Stevenson worked to adjust the Radio over the next week, Adam was recruited to help him with the satellite. The weasel had minimal knowledge of the machine, but understood its purpose, and did whatever he could to further it to that goal. The two worked tirelessly. At one point, the princess Starch visited the two atop the Great Oak one evening.
Stevenson dropped his wooden mallet in surprise. "P-princess!" He stuttered. "W-what are y-you doing-"
"Oh, nothing." She grinned devilishly and grabbed Adam roughly, kissing him hard and turning back to Stevenson. Adam, bewildered, shook his head and stumbled back to work as the princess conferred with the genius. "Daddy's heard of this monstrosity you've been building. Actually kind of interested in it myself."
"R-really?" The sparrow's face lit up.
"He wants to see it in use. When will you have it ready?"
Stevenson was now all aflutter. "Ah-er-um-gah...That is to say..." Adam turned the princess to face him.
"He's a tad bit scared of your father. As am I."
Starch smiled again. "You have a reason to be, you're screwing his daughter." Stevenson stopped fluttering to blush furiously.
"I always thought you were the dominant one. In any case, you're screwing me."
She gave a rare laugh. It was actually charming, a pretty thing to hear. "That may be, but Daddy wants to have an estimate. He knows you all have been working hard on it, and he's grateful, but he's incredibly eager."
"We'll have it done in the week."
She smiled again, winked, and swaying her hindquarters to the best of her ability, the petite lioness turned tail and descended the Oak.
Stevenson whipped to face Adam, who went back to work as if nothing happened. "You're having...relations with the kings' daughter?!"
Adam laughed, not facing him. "Have been ever since Patio and I rescued her. Why?"
"I...it...that's incredibly dangerous!"
"She's not that rough, Steve."
"You know what I mean!" Stevenson hissed. "If Meldrassen finds out, you're dead!"
"The king is well aware of his daughters' promiscuity. He thinks she's been fucking all sorts of degenerates, from what I've heard." Adam put down his tool and wiped himself off, standing up. "If he ever did find out, I think he'd actually be relieved to find that her daughter isn't running off with random creatures all the time, but just with me. I'm not the worst sort in the Forest, as I'm sure you know." Stevenson was vividly reminded of the Sevanon and Adashia case that had occurred around a year back. He shook his head.
"I still think it's dangerous..."
Adam chuckled. "Let's call it a night. Meet you up here tomorrow morning?"
"Yeah."
The day came several weeks after the initial unveiling, and after several test runs, the radio was assuredly perfected. Calling all creatures to the foot of the Great Oak once more, Stevenson and Adam stood atop, preparing to unleash the manmade creation unto the populace of the forest-hopefully, with success this time.
Adam, a few days before, had made an ingenious idea; as there were hundreds of different varieties of music, and every animal would have separate tastes, there would have to be set times for certain genres of music to be playing, to assure fairness in the forest. Stevenson agreed to this idea, consenting that Adam made a valid point. At the unveiling that day, the two decided to play something all of the creatures would enjoy upon initial hearing; Frank Sinatra, until later stations could be found and played according to the schedule.
Stevenson cleared his throat once more, and addressed the crowd. "Mice and weasels, badgers and vixens-"
"Shut up and play the damned thing!!" A bear bellowed from below, to a great roar of laughter.
Adam laughed hard as Stevensons' face turned red in anger. "Who said that?!" He called down to the crowds. "Mrs. Bagmode? I'll have you know this is a historic event!"
"Aye, it was last week, too!" Another wave of laughter and jeers. "Play it an' let's see your triumph in action again!"
Stevenson, peeved that his grand speech (which he had actually written down on several parchments of paper) was nullified, flipped the switch. Immediately, Frank Sinatra's voice erupted over the crowd;
I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me
I've got you under my skin
I'd tried so not to give in
I said to myself, "This affair never will go so well"
But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well
I've got you under my skin
I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of havin' you near
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear
"Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?
Use your mentality, wake up to reality"
But each time that I do just the thought of you makes me stop
Before I begin 'cause I've got you under my skin..."
There was silence over the crowd as the song played on, until, the final crescendo and the song ended.
There was silence.
Then, there was an explosion of cheering and applause. Stevenson grinned nervously at the screaming animals below, praising him for bringing this magical device unto their homes.
Adam himself was applauding, nodding at the sparrow. Even the stalwart Ed and jealous Patio couldn't help but to admit to Stevenson's achievement.
Stevenson bowed, and let the radio play on. The creatures stayed at the base of the tree until late at night, when the radio was shut off so they could all sleep.
From then on, things progressed rapidly.
Three weeks after the radio had played Sinatra, almost all forms of music had been displayed on the device. This was fantastic, as it was giving cultural insight to the inhabitants of the forest, but there were soon unforeseen effects.
They were first noticed in a very odd, separate occurrence, when a group of animals, all very bedraggled and unkempt, appeared within the Great Oak to speak to Ed, Patio and Stevenson. They were led by a wild-eyed, shaggy rat, who spoke to the three in an almost diplomatic manner.
"You see, good creatures," his voice scratched, "We have listened to naught but the greatest music you have played on the sound-box. We have heard its secret messages, and its dire warnings."
"I see." Ed was eying the rat the way someone would eye a person with a loaded gun. "What bands have you listened to then, what genre?"
"OH!" The rat suddenly gave a great dramatic fling of his arm and feigned faint. Several of his followers rushed to catch him, and he pretended to regain his strength.
"Thank you, thank you...I have grown weaker as the end approaches..." He looked at Ed, serious now. "We have listened only to the greatest band of all time, whose very namesake is a connection to animals. We speak, of course, of The Beatles."
Inwardly, Steve groaned. The Beatles were incredibly popular among the animals, almost to an insufferable extent. They were magnificent, agreed, and Steve had actually attempted to research them. From what he had seen, they really were considered the greatest band of all time, and were apparently wildly influential. But their continued playing on the radio, in his opinion, gave little opening for other genres and types of music to make their way into the community, and resulted in lost creativity.
The rat continued. "We have heard one certain song by the almighty LennonMcCartneyHarrison, detailing the end of the world. It is coming."
Patio sniggered. The rat thought that The Beatles were made up of one sentient being, called LennonMcCartneyHarrison-but then he remembered something.
"Isn't Ringo in The Beatles?"
The entire group of fanatics scoffed. The rat shook his head condescendingly. "Nobody cares about Ringo."
Patio, immediately offended, scowled the rest of the way through the discussion. The rat moved on.
"The song is called 'Helter Skelter'. We ask for you to provide us with provisions as we make our way to the mountains, to await the coming apocalypse."
Ed was weary of the conversation with the madrat, so he waved them off. "Fine, fine, whatever. Take what you need from the storage in the back, Mr.."
"Charles Micen." Charles spread his paws wide. "And behind me is my family."
The three never heard of the crazed rat or his "family" after they moved to the mountains, but rumors had leaked in that terrible things had befallen those who had lived there at the hands of the cult. Micen had been captured by the proper authorities there after a bloody battle, in which most of his "family" had been killed. Of course, these were just rumors. But this was the first real event caused by the radio.
The next thing to happen was slow in coming, but its effect was much more immediate and violent in the forest.
Rap music had a sincere following among the younger creatures, rebellious younger folks, and was in a constant fight with the followers of another genre-country. Country too had a following, but of older creatures. The followers of each musical type had crafted "badges" for themselves, to identify among one another. Those who praised rap made golden strands from fallen leaves, to be worn around their necks or arms, and to be used as headbands. They fancied themselves "New Bloodz." The "Z" was purposeful, and annoyed the living hell out of Stevenson.
The country folks, not to be put off by the younger rapscallions, made themselves large hats and gloves out of brown leaves. They called themselves The "Forest Brigade", a name that peeved Adam, Steve, and Patio alike, as the majority of the "Forest Brigade" did absolutely nothing to help their community, but thought themselves their great protectors.
One day, the situations seriousness was brought to light atop the Great Oak, as Steve, Patio and Ed sat around playing cards. Adam was there as well, with Starch, who watched the game intrigued.
Steve eyed his friends nervously. Patio was wearing a golden braid around his neck, as he was a diehard fan of rap-particularly that of a "Tew poc". Ed sat across from him, wearing a ridiculously large brown hat. He himself loved a "Ken E. Rogers". The two, once the best of friends, glared at each other hatefully over the deck of cards.
"Hey," Patio said suddenly, "Mind if I play some music?"
"As long as it's none of that rap shit." Ed growled.
"'Shit?'" Patio laughed. "We listen to songs about the streets, old man. You listen to 'Honky Tonk Badonkadonk'-"
Ed was on his feet in an instant. "I'll not have Badonkadonk bad-mouthed around here. And you live a forest-how do 'the streets' relate to you?"
Patio too was on his feet. "What're you gonna do about it?"
To the Sparrow, the conversation was becoming increasingly absurd. He looked to Adam for help, who simply shrugged his shoulders. "I'm more of an electronica guy. F.S.O.L." Starch was laughing at the fight, but too shook her head. "I like Pink."
The ant and mouse whipped to face Stevenson, both furious. "Who do YOU listen to, Steve?!" They yelled in unison.
Steve was put on the spot. The question was one many animals had thought to themselves. What did Steve, creator of the Radio, listen to? What was HIS favorite music?
"Erm. Well, I, uh..." He fumbled his feathers together. Patio tapped his footpaw impatiently.
"I..I always liked Jimpster. And Telepopmusik. And Lisa Shaw, for that matter." He finally said. His friends were somewhat dumbfounded.
"What...what the hell is that?" Ed finally asked.
"Oh, it's marvelous!" Steve said brightly. "Calming stuff, you know. Ambient, kind of like Adams music-"
Patio threw his paws up into the air. "Fuck it." He glared back at Ed. "Tell your people, old money, that we settle this tonight. Bloodz versus Brigade. Foot of the Oak."
"Fine by me." Ed snarled. The two raced down the Oak, shoving each other, to get to their group first.
The weasel, lioness and sparrow were left atop the Oak. Adam sighed. "You seem to have a war on your hands, old sport." He said laughingly to Steve.
"Me?!" Steve balked. "You aren't going to help me try to stop this?"
"Nothing I can do, really." He shrugged. "I'll stay inside my home by the river for a bit, and I suggest that you try to let it blow over. I think they'll come to their senses. Your deal."
Steve, greatly unhappy, took the deck and attempted to teach the princess Starch poker.
Adam was wrong, it turned out. That evening, hordes of Bloodz and Brigadiers appeared at the foot of the Oak, carrying torches, some carrying sharpened stones, others long staffs.
Steve raced out between the two groups, panting. "Please, please!" He called out. "We can settle this stupid debate, we can talk-"
Patio and Ed appeared on either side of him. Patio spoke up to him, quietly.
"The time for talk is over, brah. You're neutral, so stay out of it and you'll be fine."
"But it's just music!"
"It's more than that," Ed said. "It's a lifestyle we're fighting for. Whoever comes out victorious tonight wins the rights to the radio."
Steve looked around him. Both groups had massive numbers, and both had larger creatures scattered among them. Badgers, foxes, and the Brigadiers even had Mrs. Bagmode the bear.
"Guys, please, come on..." He pleaded weakly, but to no avail. His friends turned from him and went back to their respective groups. Around them, all of the neutral creatures of the forest had come to watch the great, unnecessary war.
"You ready, boys?!" Ed roared to the Brigade. An earth shaking roar returned.
"Let's get 'im!!!" Patio screamed, and the war began.
Steve was still in the middle, and as the two gigantic factions fell upon him, he saw Ed and Patio at each other's throats, already bloody.
"Hey!" He suddenly heard. Turning around, he saw Mrs. Bagmode raise a massive paw to crush him.
"This is for that "Friday" song that's still playing in my head!"
She brought her gigantic strength down upon him, and Steve knew no more.
"GOD-" Stevenson screamed, waking up in a huge fluster of sweat and feathers. He was lying under the shade of the Great Oak, Patio and Ed sitting near him. Patio was reading the scrap of some magazine, and Ed was playing with cards. Both were looking at him, concerned.
"You okay there, bud?" Patio asked.
"I-God-it-" Steve stuttered, and Ed laughed. "Nightmare." He shook his head. "You were out for a while there, Steve. Taking a break from building that contraption atop...the radio, you called it." He put out his cigarette.
"I...it was all a dream..." Steve sighed, hugely relieved.
"You know, I used to read 'word up' magazine," Patio said, looking over his magazine once more, "'till my subscription ran out."
Suddenly, Steve screamed again, and ran inside of the Oak. Patio and Ed looked at each other, totally confused.
Later that day, Steve smashed the radio to pieces using a thick branch, and scattered the remainder of it across the forest. None of his friends could understand why.
The End
Well, I guess I wrote this one for my own entertainment, mostly. I had a lot of fun writing it =D
Hope you guys liked it, even without any steamy scenes!
Did you catch all of the references??