Of cat and mouse - DRAFT1

Story by Amenophis on SoFurry

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This is the first draft for review of the first part of the chase. THIS IS A DRAFT.

Corrections needed: flow, grammar, organisation.

Does 1st person work? There is emphasis on sensations, so does it come through correctly?

Is the RP style storytelling work? Both antagonists never communicate, just act or react.

* * *

The sun breaking through the thin folliage is hot and soothing. The warmth of the walkway is delightfully seeping through my fur to caress my skin.

My senses can smell the heat radiating from the ground. I am slowly drifting back to concisouness from my nap.

I... feel... like...

YaaAAaawn!

In my open maw, lit by the sun, my pink curling raspy tongue contrasts sharply with the bright enamel of my perfect canines. Stretching my jaw felt good.

I need to readjust myself.

I slowly roll my feline body on my back. Extending my paws in the air, I streeetch, reaching way over my head. My belly bulges out its disorderly white fur as I arch my back, paws shaking from the effort as I fully extend my sharp claws to pull on every last muscle.

Aahhhh. That felt good.

My gray fur undulates slowly into shining ripples as I squirm back into comfort.

Murrrh.

Basking in the sun has taken a toll on me. I feel even more lazy in the perfection of this moment...

My head lols. My lazy eyes want to drift back to sleep, barely cracked open, they expose the white of my inner lids shutting my iris out of conciousness.

* * *

Swiftly, my body scouts around, zigzags around and over a root, while my little red nose sniffs around for scraps of food.

I stop.

I burrow my nose in the soft mulch to investigate an odor in between two roots.

My pink little rodent claws briskly dig the dirt with precision, but there's nothing there.

Moving on. I climb over another root, and...

I break a twig.

I instantly freeze to sense any danger. Did anyone hear that?

* * *

Hmm!?

My ears swivel; hone in.

I flop around on my legs.

My golden eyes instantly open wide.

I have heard something in the bushes!

All intents I had of drifting back to sleep have have been cleared from my head as if they never were. I'm ready for action.

My lean body is frozen for a pounce, the slits of my pupils just a sharp line breaking the gold of my eyes. I stare sharply towards a pray that has not yet revealed itself.

I am perfectly still, head to the ground, my paws are anchored. All my muscles are becoming electrified.

The invisible tension is ready to explode.

My tail twitches spastically warning of my exitement without my knowing.

Stretched horizontally, my tail's furrious random spurts express ells it all: The game is on.

* * *

Raising my delicate nose, I smell rapidly the air. My whiskers propped forward shake with each breath.

I sense a presence is watching. My breath accelerates. My pulse intensifies. I am not safe.

My little black eyes look out to the clearing to scout for safety.

I know there is my tree there. I feel safe when I hide inside.

I see my tree.

And I spot the huge gray predator.

My heart lumps up and skips a beat...

Did it see me? I am unsafe.

I need to get to the tree.

* * *

I focus my eyes to pierce through the shadows under the bushes.

I am sensing something unusual in its recesses...

A shape. A subtle shimmer of white.

The pray has cheated itself out of secrecy.

My body tenses with the thrill of expectation.

Arcs of energy jolt up and down my spine. My thighs twitch.

I want to jump. Hunt. Catch.

Muscles coiled and on fire, I am moments away from igniting a spark that will catapult all my feline body into one svelt motion.

Muscles that thousands of years of evolution perfected for this decisive moment...

My hind legs are twitching. My butt slowly bobbles as my legs rock in expectation.

* * *

My heart is pounding so hard the predator must hear it.

I am frozen in fear.

My only minuscule movements are my flanks frantically pumping air in and out.

I stare forward at the tree.

I see the familiar hole in the tree.

My feet twitch.

My body jumps out without realizing. I am darting straight towards the predator, making a straight line to the hole.

As I pass in front of the cat, I spring in the air as hard as I can to surprise it and dive into the hole.

* * *

As my claws naturally dig into the ground, my reflexes react to the white streak dashing before my eyes.

I pounce as the mouse surprisingly jumps in the air. With a feline contortion I flips backwards in the air to adjust for the pray's trajectory.

For a moment in time, my body torques and my paws reach out, pads spreading to their full extent, each extended with claws stretching like switchblades.

The twisting motion finally reaches my rear end and my hips twist in the air as my front claws land and tear into the grass, providing me the power to pull in my rear legs for one more powerful hop.

Whiskers extended I finally catch a faint musky smell full of fear.

My hind legs have now reached the ground. I trigger a fresh jolt in my nervous system for another explosion of power in my muscles...

I feel the crushing acceleration as I tense the muscles in my claws to fully extend into the movement.

Flying daggers are diving onto the little white pray about to enter the hole.

I relish the moment of the impact. I anticipate the touchdown on the soft body caving crushed by my landing.

My mouth starts to salivate at the thought of grabbing the pray and gnawing at it while it twitches in despair.

... With my heightened senses, I see myself slowly falling like a meteor on a perfect intercept course...

Touchdown!

* * *

My breath is taken away as a huge mass crushes me to the ground, stopping me dead in my course.

Don't eat me! Oh god, please don't friggen eat me!

I wave my legs around helplessly trying to escape the embrace.

I squeal as hard as I can with the little air I can gasp in.

My worst fear happened. I wanna cry, I wanna run away, but I am completely powerless.

My head spins in despair. I've never felt such an intense emotion of helplessness.

* * *

A paw firmly on my pray, my claws are dug in the ground from the impact.

I slowly curve them back up, surrounding the tiny body into a straight jacket. I feel the tips of my claws reaching around and pricking the pulsating back of the warm little fur I caught. The muscles of my forearm tingle in adrenaline filled joy. I ty with the idea of contracting my claws further to slowly tear through the soft skin into the pulsating meat full of blood. The joy of stretching my paw, extending fully my prehensile claws around a frail living entity is exhilarating... Total control... I want more... I want the smell of its blood.

I feel the littleling still unharmed squirming and shaking its limbs. This thrills me. I decide to slowly play with it. I get my face closer to my prisoner tensing my grip tighter. As I press the air out, I hear an unintelligible suffocating little squeal, almost like a plea. That teases my hunger for predatory torture...

I smell its odor as it wiggles in stress its limbs. It is pathetically exquisite. I want to sense the thing I'm gonna kill slowly.

Body odors that were hidden from me while it hid in the bushes finally waft in full display. I breathe them in... I smell a delightfuly weak pray. I sense its hurried breaths pumping in and out maintaining a hopeless life for my pleasure. The warm organic odors from its maw hurry my hunger for the taste of its blood. I smell the delightful hormones of fear and utter distress. It make me crave for more hunting games and torture. I want the smells to become stronger. I want to squeeze it out of is body. Drain it.

I detect a delectable note of musk. I cannot yet identify what it means... it is different, it makes me automatically react.

I instinctively bare my teeth, half opening my mouth and frowning my feline nose like a tiger. This reveals my perfectly curved predator canines in a fearsome grin as I inhale to decipher the musk that is awakening deeper instincts. My maw is now hovering dangerously open above the helpless squealing thing, slowly drooling saliva, as it tries to capture all the subtle meanings of the intriguing body odors. The imminent danger of my maw makes the pray's heart flutter even faster in my paw, breathing in spastic pulses, venting all its hormones in the air, exposing all its inner emotions while on the verge of a cardiac arrest induced by ultimate fear.

You are now close to death, you do realize little thing?

* * *

The fear in me is overwhelming. My own instincts tell me it is over, but my heart beats are faster from more than just the fear of being killed. I'm excited, I may be about to die, but it's the most alive I've ever felt in my life, its exhilarating.

I have a hard time to explain to myself, but I realize it's not just fear, it's exitement. I'm aroused. I am accepting that I have become captive. I have no more say to my destiny. I can only wait at the mercy of my hunter. Completely at his will, in abandonment. I feel the exhiliration of the expectation. What will he do? When will he kill me? How will he tear me appart? I close my eyes and wait for my death, yet hoping to be spared. I swell inside at the ambivalent feeling. What will you do to me? I want to be your toy. I want to relive the exhiliration of loss every day until you decide you are tired of me. You will tear me with excrutiating pain... but spare me! I'll bring offerings of other mice, young ones that can out run you, that will please you in the hunt. Ones that you can shread appart while you keep me at your will. I shudder.

* * *

I am taking my time with you... I am enjoying making my prays linger and despair.

The scent is faint yet powerful. It distracts me from murder. It stirs other emotions in my loins. My hair subconsciously starts puffing up, my paws faintly knitting in reflex. My blood is boiling inside from a new longing.

That smell exhilirates me... It is too faint, I want more of it.

With the little thing firmly clasped, my claws streaking its white fur, I turn my paw up to get a better view of what I caught.

Hungrily I dive my nose into the white fur, violently rubbing my cold wet nose in it to search of the origin of the smell.

* * *

The jolt of being turned upside down almost gives me a cardiac arrest as my heart jumped. I thought that was it. Yet nothing happened. As my heart restarts, it pumps a tingling sense of extacy throughout my body from the near death experience. Not yet! You are delightfully playing with my emotions. An intense sense of relaxation comes from the aftermath envelopping me as I give myself to you.

A cold, wet blow hits my belly. However the endorphins rushing through me soothingly make me accept your will wholy. I am accepting of dying now.

The massive nose of the beast is wet against my skin, spreading my hair. It violates my breasts, moving around stealing my privacy as it visits my skin. At the same time, the strong carnivorous odor it exhales invades my nostrils. I am aroused at my helplessness and by the savage hunger with which my master is now investigating my chest. My shudder intensifies, edging from the feeling of utter domination.

* * *

Burrowing my nose deeper in the fine fur, I probe down to the skin up and down searching for the source of the enhibriating hormones.

Going up to the head my nose tests the softness of the throat. I feel my pray shivering delightfully.

My hunting instinct is awakened. I continue my movement to bring my teeth on it to tear at this tender weakness. I clench my jaw muscles as I bite the throat softly as it gives, my muscles fight each other to keep the pressure light, but at the same time firm and unforgiving. I salivate from the effort of keeping my mouth open.

I do not want to kill it yet. I long to find the erotic smell. My bite transforms into a long raspy lick, each spike of my tongue burrowing deep into the fur and raking the skin of the throat.

I take a long taste, slowly licking my tongue up. The motio tilts the little head up from the strength.

Unfortunately the taste though delightfully tasty is not the flavor I am seeking.

* * *

My shudder turns into convulsions of a gasp as I am choked. I - am - dying.... *heeeewww* I inhale deeply as the jaws release the clench on my trachea. Instead my head gets bobbed backwards as a raspy tongue scratches my throat like sandpaper. I am now completely arched backwards my underbelly fully offered to the predator. I feel utterly naked, probed by the wet cold streaks zig-zaging my fur, arms and legs locked into a tortured spread by the claws tightened around me offer no shielding.

Utterly giving myself away to my predator, my loins in erotic bliss engorge, slowly exposing my small pink tip out of its sheath, extremely visible and vulnerable over the white fur of my belly. Aware of the danger of exposing it to the mercyless teeth, my heart pumps harder, engorging it more than it ever has been before, throbbing a dull pain of excessive tension. My extremely sensitive skin, wet from pre gliging out, feels the airflow around it as the cat moves me around in its exploration of me.

My breath is syncopated in anticipation of orgasm awaiting a touch.

* * *

to be finished.

The sun breaking through the thin folliage is hot and soothing. The warmth of the walkway is delightfully seeping through my fur to caress my skin.

My senses can smell the heat radiating from the ground. I am slowly drifting back to concisouness from my nap.

I... feel... like...

YaaAAaawn!

In my open maw, lit by the sun, my pink curling raspy tongue contrasts sharply with the bright enamel of my perfect canines. Stretching my jaw felt good.

I need to readjust myself.

I slowly roll my feline body on my back. Extending my paws in the air, I streeetch, reaching way over my head. My belly bulges out its disorderly white fur as I arch my back, paws shaking from the effort as I fully extend my sharp claws to pull on every last muscle.

Aahhhh. That felt good.

My gray fur undulates slowly into shining ripples as I squirm back into comfort.

Murrrh.

Basking in the sun has taken a toll on me. I feel even more lazy in the perfection of this moment...

My head lols. My lazy eyes want to drift back to sleep, barely cracked open, they expose the white of my inner lids shutting my iris out of conciousness.

* * *

Swiftly, my body scouts around, zigzags around and over a root, while my little red nose sniffs around for scraps of food.

I stop.

I burrow my nose in the soft mulch to investigate an odor in between two roots.

My pink little rodent claws briskly dig the dirt with precision, but there's nothing there.

Moving on. I climb over another root, and...

I break a twig.

I instantly freeze to sense any danger. Did anyone hear that?

* * *

Hmm!?

My ears swivel; hone in.

I flop around on my legs.

My golden eyes instantly open wide.

I have heard something in the bushes!

All intents I had of drifting back to sleep have have been cleared from my head as if they never were. I'm ready for action.

My lean body is frozen for a pounce, the slits of my pupils just a sharp line breaking the gold of my eyes. I stare sharply towards a pray that has not yet revealed itself.

I am perfectly still, head to the ground, my paws are anchored. All my muscles are becoming electrified.

The invisible tension is ready to explode.

My tail twitches spastically warning of my exitement without my knowing.

Stretched horizontally, my tail's furrious random spurts express ells it all: The game is on.

* * *

Raising my delicate nose, I smell rapidly the air. My whiskers propped forward shake with each breath.

I sense a presence is watching. My breath accelerates. My pulse intensifies. I am not safe.

My little black eyes look out to the clearing to scout for safety.

I know there is my tree there. I feel safe when I hide inside.

I see my tree.

And I spot the huge gray predator.

My heart lumps up and skips a beat...

Did it see me? I am unsafe.

I need to get to the tree.

* * *

I focus my eyes to pierce through the shadows under the bushes.

I am sensing something unusual in its recesses...

A shape. A subtle shimmer of white.

The pray has cheated itself out of secrecy.

My body tenses with the thrill of expectation.

Arcs of energy jolt up and down my spine. My thighs twitch.

I want to jump. Hunt. Catch.

Muscles coiled and on fire, I am moments away from igniting a spark that will catapult all my feline body into one svelt motion.

Muscles that thousands of years of evolution perfected for this decisive moment...

My hind legs are twitching. My butt slowly bobbles as my legs rock in expectation.

* * *

My heart is pounding so hard the predator must hear it.

I am frozen in fear.

My only minuscule movements are my flanks frantically pumping air in and out.

I stare forward at the tree.

I see the familiar hole in the tree.

My feet twitch.

My body jumps out without realizing. I am darting straight towards the predator, making a straight line to the hole.

As I pass in front of the cat, I spring in the air as hard as I can to surprise it and dive into the hole.

* * *

As my claws naturally dig into the ground, my reflexes react to the white streak dashing before my eyes.

I pounce as the mouse surprisingly jumps in the air. With a feline contortion I flips backwards in the air to adjust for the pray's trajectory.

For a moment in time, my body torques and my paws reach out, pads spreading to their full extent, each extended with claws stretching like switchblades.

The twisting motion finally reaches my rear end and my hips twist in the air as my front claws land and tear into the grass, providing me the power to pull in my rear legs for one more powerful hop.

Whiskers extended I finally catch a faint musky smell full of fear.

My hind legs have now reached the ground. I trigger a fresh jolt in my nervous system for another explosion of power in my muscles...

I feel the crushing acceleration as I tense the muscles in my claws to fully extend into the movement.

Flying daggers are diving onto the little white pray about to enter the hole.

I relish the moment of the impact. I anticipate the touchdown on the soft body caving crushed by my landing.

My mouth starts to salivate at the thought of grabbing the pray and gnawing at it while it twitches in despair.

... With my heightened senses, I see myself slowly falling like a meteor on a perfect intercept course...

Touchdown!

* * *

My breath is taken away as a huge mass crushes me to the ground, stopping me dead in my course.

Don't eat me! Oh god, please don't friggen eat me!

I wave my legs around helplessly trying to escape the embrace.

I squeal as hard as I can with the little air I can gasp in.

My worst fear happened. I wanna cry, I wanna run away, but I am completely powerless.

My head spins in despair. I've never felt such an intense emotion of helplessness.

* * *

A paw firmly on my pray, my claws are dug in the ground from the impact.

I slowly curve them back up, surrounding the tiny body into a straight jacket. I feel the tips of my claws reaching around and pricking the pulsating back of the warm little fur I caught. The muscles of my forearm tingle in adrenaline filled joy. I ty with the idea of contracting my claws further to slowly tear through the soft skin into the pulsating meat full of blood. The joy of stretching my paw, extending fully my prehensile claws around a frail living entity is exhilarating... Total control... I want more... I want the smell of its blood.

I feel the littleling still unharmed squirming and shaking its limbs. This thrills me. I decide to slowly play with it. I get my face closer to my prisoner tensing my grip tighter. As I press the air out, I hear an unintelligible suffocating little squeal, almost like a plea. That teases my hunger for predatory torture...

I smell its odor as it wiggles in stress its limbs. It is pathetically exquisite. I want to sense the thing I'm gonna kill slowly.

Body odors that were hidden from me while it hid in the bushes finally waft in full display. I breathe them in... I smell a delightfuly weak pray. I sense its hurried breaths pumping in and out maintaining a hopeless life for my pleasure. The warm organic odors from its maw hurry my hunger for the taste of its blood. I smell the delightful hormones of fear and utter distress. It make me crave for more hunting games and torture. I want the smells to become stronger. I want to squeeze it out of is body. Drain it.

I detect a delectable note of musk. I cannot yet identify what it means... it is different, it makes me automatically react.

I instinctively bare my teeth, half opening my mouth and frowning my feline nose like a tiger. This reveals my perfectly curved predator canines in a fearsome grin as I inhale to decipher the musk that is awakening deeper instincts. My maw is now hovering dangerously open above the helpless squealing thing, slowly drooling saliva, as it tries to capture all the subtle meanings of the intriguing body odors. The imminent danger of my maw makes the pray's heart flutter even faster in my paw, breathing in spastic pulses, venting all its hormones in the air, exposing all its inner emotions while on the verge of a cardiac arrest induced by ultimate fear.

You are now close to death, you do realize little thing?

///... Read my mind and decide wisely what comes next, or the game of life and death will be short and unfulfilling. Choose well and you will live a little more, as a toy in my paw... I control your destiny and possibly how you will die.

Talking to your executioner is futile, it is not reason that motivates me, it is my primal needs... Do realize that cats do not understand mice squeals. This is not a monodimensional cartoon, it is your real feral mouse life. So what is that smell? Are you just helpless and fearful? Do you have deep desires, anguishes, and do they confusedly mix and betray unexpected emotions? I want to know. And don't lie or the end will be swift. icon_biggrin.gif

///

* * *

The fear in me is overwhelming. My own instincts tell me it is over, but my heart beats are faster from more than just the fear of being killed. I'm excited, I may be about to die, but it's the most alive I've ever felt in my life, its exhilarating.

I have a hard time to explain to myself, but I realize it's not just fear, it's exitement. I'm aroused. I am accepting that I have become captive. I have no more say to my destiny. I can only wait at the mercy of my hunter. Completely at his will, in abandonment. I feel the exhiliration of the expectation. What will he do? When will he kill me? How will he tear me appart? I close my eyes and wait for my death, yet hoping to be spared. I swell inside at the ambivalent feeling. What will you do to me? I want to be your toy. I want to relive the exhiliration of loss every day until you decide you are tired of me. You will tear me with excrutiating pain... but spare me! I'll bring offerings of other mice, young ones that can out run you, that will please you in the hunt. Ones that you can shread appart while you keep me at your will. I shudder.

* * *

I am taking my time with you... I am enjoying making my prays linger and despair.

The scent is faint yet powerful. It distracts me from murder. It stirs other emotions in my loins. My hair subconsciously starts puffing up, my paws faintly knitting in reflex. My blood is boiling inside from a new longing.

That smell exhilirates me... It is too faint, I want more of it.

With the little thing firmly clasped, my claws streaking its white fur, I turn my paw up to get a better view of what I caught.

Hungrily I dive my nose into the white fur, violently rubbing my cold wet nose in it to search of the origin of the smell.

* * *

The jolt of being turned upside down almost gives me a cardiac arrest as my heart jumped. I thought that was it. Yet nothing happened. As my heart restarts, it pumps a tingling sense of extacy throughout my body from the near death experience. Not yet! You are delightfully playing with my emotions. An intense sense of relaxation comes from the aftermath envelopping me as I give myself to you.

A cold, wet blow hits my belly. However the endorphins rushing through me soothingly make me accept your will wholy. I am accepting of dying now.

The massive nose of the beast is wet against my skin, spreading my hair. It violates my breasts, moving around stealing my privacy as it visits my skin. At the same time, the strong carnivorous odor it exhales invades my nostrils. I am aroused at my helplessness and by the savage hunger with which my master is now investigating my chest. My shudder intensifies, edging from the feeling of utter domination.

* * *

Burrowing my nose deeper in the fine fur, I probe down to the skin up and down searching for the source of the enhibriating hormones.

Going up to the head my nose tests the softness of the throat. I feel my pray shivering delightfully.

My hunting instinct is awakened. I continue my movement to bring my teeth on it to tear at this tender weakness. I clench my jaw muscles as I bite the throat softly as it gives, my muscles fight each other to keep the pressure light, but at the same time firm and unforgiving. I salivate from the effort of keeping my mouth open.

I do not want to kill it yet. I long to find the erotic smell. My bite transforms into a long raspy lick, each spike of my tongue burrowing deep into the fur and raking the skin of the throat.

I take a long taste, slowly licking my tongue up. The motio tilts the little head up from the strength.

Unfortunately the taste though delightfully tasty is not the flavor I am seeking.

* * *

My shudder turns into convulsions of a gasp as I am choked. I - am - dying.... *heeeewww* I inhale deeply as the jaws release the clench on my trachea. Instead my head gets bobbed backwards as a raspy tongue scratches my throat like sandpaper. I am now completely arched backwards my underbelly fully offered to the predator. I feel utterly naked, probed by the wet cold streaks zig-zaging my fur, arms and legs locked into a tortured spread by the claws tightened around me offer no shielding.

Utterly giving myself away to my predator, my loins in erotic bliss engorge, slowly exposing my small pink tip out of its sheath, extremely visible and vulnerable over the white fur of my belly. Aware of the danger of exposing it to the mercyless teeth, my heart pumps harder, engorging it more than it ever has been before, throbbing a dull pain of excessive tension. My extremely sensitive skin, wet from pre gliging out, feels the airflow around it as the cat moves me around in its exploration of me.

My breath is syncopated in anticipation of orgasm awaiting a touch.

>>> Must deny orgasm fro mthe fear of getting the tip cut off if the cat gets surprised.

* * *