Reaper: Graesham Campaign: Seventh Interlude

Story by Nex_Canis on SoFurry

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#15 of Reaper 2


Interlude: Mountain Climb

"I feel the earth move under my feet I feel the sky tumbling down I feel my heart start to trembling Whenever you're around

Oh, baby, when I see your face Mellow as the month of May Oh, darling, I can't stand it When you look at me that way"

I Feel the Earth Move

Carole King

1971

The Silent Stone

My name is Soot...

My body is that of Luke Armstrong.

My soul... Now there stands the question doesn't it?

First of all, I shall be clear.

I am an Unsealed.

A Puritan to be precise, the most powerful type of Unsealed there is. My power is far beyond that of what other Mortaelians could understand. As far as they were concerned, there were only two kinds of Unsealed - those that were alive and those that were dead.

I am not sure whether I fell into the former or the latter.

I watched the sun rise just over the mountains.

Regardless of what happened - whether or not Reaper was successful or Belford was successful in obtaining 'perfection' - that sunrise marked the beginning of the end. I wondered whether what I had done was enough... and I realised that truthfully... I did not care.

I was devoid of emotions and whether or not what I did would ultimately save or damn Graesham was none of my concern. In all honestly, I was not even sure why I did what I did. It was not so much a question of the reasons behind my actions but rather a question of the reason as to why I do not have any reasons for my actions.

Perhaps that is not entirely true.

I have reasons... but perhaps they are not truly mine... Merely fragments of a sensation to do 'what was right'. However, I do not believe in them. I simply act upon them because I truly have nothing else better to do. These urges... these sensations... they conflict, they combat against one another and they tell me to do things that other 'feelings' counter and tell me to do otherwise.

I only follow the voice that is strongest.

For example...

When I first unleashed the Unsealed onto the inbound train carrying Reaper and his compatriots. I had no idea they were onboard but the loudest voice in my head demanded I somehow derail the train. Stopping those civilians from becoming trapped inside Graesham seemed like what the majority of the voices wanted.

So that's what I did.

Unleashing more and more Unsealed onto Graesham was also an act I performed.

Why?

Because the voices wanted to test Reaper.

Could a notorious, international renegade be strong enough to undo Belford's great scheme?

They were satisfied to an extent after seeing Reaper's strength and 'killer instincts', they were impressed.

Me?

I couldn't feel anything.

I stood by and merely watched the battle unfold, watching Reaper tear through the Unsealed I had summoned.

But the voices told me Reaper was only a small part of the plan... the sword by which I slay Belford.

The voices told me that getting Rocky to remember on her own would ruin Belford's plans. They had all come to the conclusion that Belford was not a person to be trusted. I am not truly sure if these 'voices' are truly people or just my subconscious giving form to the memories that had been implanted into me. In either case, I was devoid of emotion... I really couldn't care what I did.

I will admit, however, I was somewhat surprised when Reaper caught up with me the first time we met.

I closed my eyes...

... and recalled that event.

*****

For a long time, the voices had long decided that Rocky was the key to Belford's plan. As such, they had opted to find ways of reminding Rocky of who she had been. It was a small crystal leaf attached to a silver chain that they had hoped would bring back her memories. Apparently, it was a 'promise trinket' of sorts given to Luke when the two had grown quite intimate. Rocky supposedly possessed one and Luke possessed the other.

Rather... I possessed it now.

I was not sure how a tiny, green piece of rock could bring back memories but that was their opinion.

I opened the one drawer I knew Rocky would open every day and that was her underwear drawer. There were no misconceptions or form of eroticism. This was merely something the voices wanted to do. A few were making lewd comments but they were very few and far between so I merely ignored them.

I could sense Reaper's presence from behind me the moment I stepped into the room. Perhaps it was some Unsealed ability that allowed me to sense another's presence and know their identity simply by sensing them. I am not entirely sure. I just knew that Jacob Reaper was hiding in Rocky's private washroom.

"I wasn't aware that MODD had retracted their 'No perverts' rule when recruiting. I really should consider joining." He spoke with a calm, cool tone. A few of the voices wondered if he would be so cocky if he realised he was attempting to insult a Puritan.

I straightened for a second... before returning to my task of placing the trinket into Rocky's belongings. He stepped up to me and pressed one of his swords against the base of my neck.

"You best leave the Saint's underwear alone, buddy. I hear if you steal one of his unmentionables, you get struck down from Heaven."

That actually made me chuckle a little. "How far can you possible fall when you are already in the deepest pit of Hell?"

His reply was a bitter snort. "That's easy," he answered darkly. "You were thrown in there because you genuinely didn't deserve it."

That... That was a very good point... I will admit. I slowly turned to face him, appraising his stance. He was cocky and confident. In return, he appraised me. The voices wondered what those sapphire-blue eyes saw in this hollow shell of an Unsealed. I could detect a mild sense of... wariness coming from him as he and I locked gazes. His sword was still levelled at my nose and I guessed he was somewhat startled that I had not moved to knock it away.

"How can you claim that the judgment of Heaven is not absolute?" I asked.

Reaper never pointed his blade away. Nothing about him wavered. His resolve was admirable. "I never said it wasn't absolute. But that doesn't make it right either."

Someone so sure of himself... or rather sure about who he was is truly worthy of respect. I questioned whether or not he was confident about identity because he knew who he was... or that he just content with his current status and unwilling to evolve?

I considered his words carefully... before shaking my head slowly. "Then what would you do against the unjust rule of Heaven? Can you stand against the might of the entire world and the beyond? Can a mortal man hold up against what created this world and what will lead this world's inhabitants to its destiny?"

Many of the voices slandered me for my blasphemy. Many of them believes still in Belford's teachings... even if they did not believe in Belford himself. They still believed that no mortal could stand against the justice of God. The rule of heaven was absolute and any mortal to oppose them would be cast down into oblivion.

Strangely, Jacob Reaper just grinned at them. "Don't have to stand when you're trying to kill. Isn't it a saint's job to be martyred for their cause or be persecuted in some way, shape or form?"

Was he trying to hold himself up to a saint?

"So you intend to die for your cause?"

A sharp laugh - almost like a soft bark - came from him. "Hell no. I wanna be around when the bombs go off, not die before I get to see the women and children screaming as their faces melt off."

Odd... I actually felt like laughing at that moment.

Laughter... Imagine that... Me...

A soulless Unsealed...

They say laughter is the language of the soul...

"See, the strategy is to get some idealistic, charismatic idiot to spearhead the operation for you," Reaper said with an almost maniacal glee in his eyes. However... it was in those eyes that I could see... These insane, 'evil' rants... they were just deflection tactics. Something to take observer's eyes away from the true crisis...

"You make them the head of the cause and let people flock to them," Reaper continued, oblivious to my analysis. "That way, when the self-righteous bastards up high decide to strike back, they hit that guy instead of you and you end up having a martyr on your paws whose ideals are way more valuable than he could have been in life."

He clapped my shoulder while I remained stoic. "That way, you get all the people following you as you 'uphold the martyr's ideals' without said martyr yammering on with their own ideas! You get to pass off any and all rules you want to make and all you have to do is say 'it's what so-and-so would've wanted' and everyone will follow!"

How ironic... He had no idea how close he was to the truth.

So many people in MODD simply used Rose Earthsire's name just to further their own needs. Here in Graesham, simply invoking her name would have so many people begging for forgiveness and falling on their knees, praying for repentance.

I pulled my shoulder away from Reaper with a soft grunt. "I have this odd feeling that you are referencing the Saint of the Earth. I hope you don't intend to use him as some figurehead to take down MODD like Rex is planning."

His mask broke if only briefly. The puzzlement in his eyes remained in his eyes and was hidden by a confident grin. "I would never do that to the Saint." He paused... "I'll let Rex be the one to fall first. He's always trying to compensate for his apparent lack to talent so making him the first martyr for my 'cause' will all more juice into his story." That grin broadened as he spread his arms wide. "Imagine the stories people will tell! How the weakest of the Elemental Lords rose up to become the first and greatest of the many, many, many corpses that will help elevate the cause to world domination!"

Deflection tactics...

Perhaps trying to use humour mixed with morbid thoughts and creativity in an attempt to hide his inner thoughts. It was difficult to read him. Everyone else was so easy to predict and read. There was usually a voice inside me who was similar and could relate.

I shook my head at him. "Your ideas are strangely plausible but at the same time insane. You are an enigma, Jacob Reaper."

Jacob frowned theatrically. "That's not fair. You know my name." He reached into his pocket and pulled out my wallet. I would have laughed if it wasn't my wallet.

Again... the laughter...

How strange...

"You have me at a disadvantage Mr... Soot." For added effect, he pulled out one of the big, golden credit cards contained in my wallet. "Wow. You're a member of the MODD Gold Club. Nice."

I quickly checked my person... ensuring that it was my wallet.

No doubt about it... He had my wallet.

"Yep," Reaper snickered, waving the wallet tauntingly in front of my muzzle. "I've got your wallet."

"Give that back!" I shouted.

I lunged at him but he quickly managed to leap over me and bolt for the door. I would've been able to catch him normally but I was distracted by the sudden bout of anger that had erupted from me... I had never experienced so much... emotion before... Or rather, I had never experienced so much emotion that was mine.

Laughter... Anger...

What was it about Reaper that was making me so... emotional.

As I spun around, I saw him flick his tail at me.

The frustration boiled inside of me... I seized the rock hanging from my waist and hurled it straight at him.

WHAM!

I hit the wall right beside his head.

As Reaper stood shocked... So did I...

That emotion... that anger... I just acted...

Amazing...

While he stood shocked, I strode up to him and seized his shoulder. "Give me the wallet."

He sighed and deposited it in my paw. "Fine."

I snatched my wallet back - again with the mysterious frustration. The rock I used to attack Reaper dropped from the wall. I'm not entirely sure why I keep it, personally. I think it's some remnant of Luke Armstrong's life. I am not entirely sure what.

I turned away and strode away from Reaper... a little afraid of the emotions he was somehow calling inside of me.

"So... Who's the girl?"

I had to fight myself so that I could keep my cool. I've never had to do that before... at least once I came into existence. I am not sure what Soot did, however. "What girl?" I answered, never ceasing my slow retreat.

"The one in this photograph with a younger version of you."

Photograph...?

No... He didn't...

I slowly turned around... the fur on the back of my neck standing on end one by one. Anger boiled up from inside me once again... and another new emotion... It was like someone was scraping a rusted blade against my insides...

"That girl was the former daughter of the then-Elemental Lord of Earth, Rose Earthsire," I said slowly and deliberately.

Reaper regarded the photograph in his paws with a look of mild bewilderment. His eyes flicked back to me just in time for me to readjust my features so they were once again an emotionless mask.

"Who's the other bear beside her?"

My reply was somewhat... strained. It took all my effort to speak without my voice breaking. The pain inside me was so... intense. Still, I managed to slowly let out the words, "That was me."

"Ten years really did a number on you, didn't it?" he asked.

I was not sure whether I should be frustrated as his light take on my former existence or laugh at his casual treatment to a what he must have known was a sensitive subject.

"Ten years is a long time to be living in Hell," I answered grimly. "I think I rather look good."

Wait... Did I just use humour...?

Reaper's smirk confirmed my fears.

What was he doing to me!?

"And here I thought you didn't have a sense of humour," he replied, handing the photograph back to me. "You and Rose were good friends?"

I nodded slowly... I was afraid - yet another new emotion - of what was happening to my sense of self but... I welcomed it at the same time... It felt good to feel again. "Very good. It broke my heart when she died out in the field like that..."

'My'... Up to this point, I had always separated myself from Luke Armstrong... Luke was not me... He was not Soot...

But... I think... I think I must acknowledge that we are, essentially the same...

"You do realise that you're working for the same corporation that effectively killed her, right?"

I glared at Reaper as I tucked the picture away. "To ensure that the mistakes of the past are never made again... to ensure that the current Elemental Lord does not abuse his power and use the life of someone he should love for his own needs... That is the only way I can preserve Rose's memory."

Jacob crossed his arms and shrugged absently. "If I were you, I'd just stop all efforts of MODD to cure this plague. You want to preserve your Rose's memory? Build her the biggest damn memorial in the world... with the fossilised corpses of all those people who got infected by 'her plague'."

Amusing... Some of the voices had actually tried that pitch once before... I snorted and said, "Why do you think I insisted on transferring all those who succumbed fully to the Plague to the Grey Grounds Cemetery."

That he did not expect. The surprise in his eyes was quite... satisfying. He smiled slightly at that thought.

Whatever thoughts he was harbouring was interrupted when he lightly sniffed the air and glanced to his left. A big, brown wolf - bigger than any Rillotian that I had ever seen - bounded over to him, tongue hanging loosely outside of his muzzle and tail wagging excitedly. I could sense the joy springing from his heart.

And... I felt jealous...

What I wouldn't give to be able to feel that...

"Leo," Reaper greeted, trying to downplay the bigger wolf's importance to him. He gestured towards me. "This is Soot. One of the ExIT Commanders under Rocky's command."

Leo immediately bent forward and sniffed my groin area.

Interesting.

Was this... how people greeted each other normally? I thought they shook one another's paws?

I am not sure how to feel about this...

... but... I wanted to feel something...

The bigger wolf - I guessed he was a Tribal from Oxis - straightened with a curious expression on his face like he mulling over the intricacies of my scent. "You have a very strange name."

My name... Another link between me and Luke Armstrong... His nickname, handed to him by Rose, was 'Sooty'. I called myself 'Soot' because of the copious amounts of soot that clung to my otherwise white fur.

"One doesn't pick their names," I answered grimly. "They are assigned to us by fate."

Sadly, many of the voices had become somewhat... apprehensive about my newfound emotions. They were very transparent in their concerns that if I gained a will of my own, so to speak, I would not follow their will. So, they urged me to take my leave...

... and I obeyed...

... for the moment.

I nodded at Reaper. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Jacob Reaper. I will take your suggestion into consideration."

And with those words, I turned away from them both... and left...

*****

I suppose that was truly the moment when I began to question who I was.

As I watched Reaper copulate with Rex Nebula and his mate, Leonardo Custer, I was again struck by that deep jealousy. I desired to have someone to hold me, to tell me everything would be alright and the love me like how Rex and Leonardo loved Reaper...

Thus... from those humble beginnings... I started to exert a will of my own over my body...

And I stopped becoming just 'Soot'... but I became more and more 'Soot who was formerly Luke Armstrong'.

I began to forge an identity.

This came around when I led Gabriel towards Conway...

*****

Watching the events unfold around Graesham left many of the voices in my head writhing in pain and agony. They had gone from being my primary method of making decisions... to quarrelling simpletons attempting to make their opinions heard. Each of them wanted to save their decedents or their loved ones that had survived Rose's rebellion. Some wanted me to fight alongside Reaper and kill Belford. Others wanted me to stick to the plan and tell Rocky all about himself. Others even wanted me to commit suicide so that my Seal would be shattered and all those who had survived would realise the truth about Rocky Groundwater.

Oddly enough, none of them were in the majority.

They just continued to quarrel amongst themselves.

So I did something I never thought I knew I could do.

I shut them out.

Where once there were a countless voices all inside of my head telling me what to do... now there was just silence.

For a long time, I just stood somewhere I barely recognised and just waited...

I waited... for something.

Maybe it was for the voices to come to a decisive conclusion... Maybe it was for some_one_ to tell me what to do... or perhaps it was for God to come down and rescue me from my pitiful existence.

In either case... I was suddenly so alone...

... and I yearned for companionship...

Another new emotion... loneliness...

I didn't like it.

I waited...

... and waited...

... and waited.

Nothing happened.

I heard the explosions... the screams... the cries for mommies or the pleading for mercy. All unanswered by whatever higher being there was that watched over the planet. Petrified bodies under Conway's control strolled the streets, searching for the last vestiges of survivors that weren't in the enormous castle which was the Branded's Eden.

Time passed... and I sensed Fossilised change their objective and slowly head towards the crystal cavern beneath the city to enact Conway's twisted plot... fuelled by Belford. I could see the merit in Belford's plan and I will admit, it is quite ingenious.

He was going for quality not quantity... Get a few people who were 'perfect' and destroy the remainder. What use was an imperfect army that was incredibly numerous when you have a perfect army even if it was so small?

In these ponderings, I still found no reason to continue... Nothing to spurn me into action.

The voices continued to quarrel.

Someone grasped my paw.

I turned my eyes towards the perpetrator... and my heart froze in shock.

Standing beside me, was a little bear cub whose white fur was splotched by soot and whose sky-blue eyes were impossibly wide.

It was impossible.

"Can I watch some TV?" the cub asked.

I was unsure how to respond.

Surely there were no other survivors in Graesham itself... This cub couldn't have miraculously survived... could he...?

"Sure..." I answered, scared that my voice was shaking. "W - w - what do you want to watch?"

He cub broke into a big grin. "Starboy!"

Ah... I see...

I smiled at him gently. With a solemn nod, I picked him up and deposited him on the couch where I had been sitting. Then, I headed over to the prehistoric television and found the disc containing the named show. I inserted it into the player and watched the grainy image come to life. I sat down beside the cub and watched the figures on the screen move. Despite the horrible quality of the image, the cub was mesmerised by the display.

I don't know how long we sat there together, just watching that show... but I think it was long enough that we went through the entire series...

"This is my favourite part!"

I glanced at him and smile. "Really? What happens?"

"Watch!"

Turning my attention back to the screen... I watched as Black and the Princess - brainwashed to be Malice - fought one another. The King already revealed his plan but Malice was still under his control. In a last ditch effort to save her, Black tried attacking the King...

... but was stabbed through the heart by Malice.

As Black fell... there was a dramatic scene where his body slowly descended off Malice's blade... and his descent was reflected in the Princess' hollow eyes... Bit by bit... memories began to flash back into the Princess' eyes and Malice broke out of the spell. She was able to catch Black in time but he was mortally wounded with no way to recover.

Angry... She turned to her own father... and slew the King in a spectacular 3-episode fight.

At the end... she returned to Black... and begged him to open his eyes. He coughed out his last words... telling her how much he loved and respected her... before closing his eyes and dying.

It was sad...

But it was far from over.

Malice, using the power of the Princess Comet, sacrificed the comet itself to bring Black back to life. In a dazzling flash of light, the screen went white... and Malice's last words were... 'I love you too'. The scene shifted to a small cottage in the woods were two children bearing a striking resemblance to both Black and Malice played. They were suddenly called by their mother to the cottage for supper and they hurried back inside where they gathered around the wooden table. Their father came down to sit and kissed his wife lovingly. On the wall, Black's sword is seen clearly.

One of the children asked why there was no King in the land anymore.

The father smiled first at his wife and then his children telling them, "Son... There is a king in this world."

When the kids asked where he was... The father - obviously Black - answered, "First... let me tell you what it means to be a king..."

And there, the story ended.

I felt a strange dampness on my cheek... I brushed off my tears and was surprised that they did not wash off the soot attached to my fur. The dark stains never came off no matter how much scrubbing or bathing I did.

As I lowered my paw, I realised that the cub was gone...

And I also realised that this home I hid in... this place where I watched Luke's favourite aniga... was in fact, Luke's old abode.

A strange sensation filled me...

Suddenly, I wanted to discovered myself... I didn't want to follow the voices anymore... I wanted to follow my voice again.

Slowly, I got up from the couch and wandered through the house, reliving memories I possessed of this place. I still felt distant... Like they weren't my memories. In a way... They really weren't... but I still claimed them and they would be mine again soon. The happiest memories were those that Luke had with Rose...

I had to find all those memories again.

I wandered outside of the home to track the memories elsewhere around Graesham...

... and was surprised to find Gabriel stomping outside the home, appearing frustrated.

"Trouble, Gabriel?" I asked.

The ram regarded me with flaring eyes. "You! What are you doing here!?"

I could have said, 'This is my home' but that would not make much sense to him. So, I simply said, "Biding my time. You?"

"I am trying to save this city from the evil of Conway!" the ram snarled. "I'm going to bring him to divine justice! Except..." His anger subsided slowly.

"You cannot find him?"

Gabriel let out an angry huff.

I smiled softly and pointed in the direction of Conway's cottage. "About halfway up the mountain you will find a cottage. That is Conway's cottage. If you do not find him there..." I pointed to the left of the first location. "... there is a cave entrance not too far away from it that will lead to Conway's secret crystal cavern."

Suspicion was clear in the ram's eyes. "How do you know this?"

I offered him a very faint smile. "It's not important. Don't you want to prove yourself to Father Belford?"

"Of course I do!" Gabriel shouted. "I am going to show him that he does not need to put any more faith in that renegade, Reaper!"

Yes... Jacob Reaper...

Perhaps he is the key to solving my personal enigma... He over everyone else would know what it is like to have an identity crisis. He had his memory altered but only came out of it stronger. I needed to know how he did that.

"Hold onto that emotion, Gabriel," I advised, turning away from him and slowly walking away. "You have many dark days ahead... and only when you find and clutch onto those distant emotions will you find yourself again."

I was still struggling with this fact...

... but I believe I was recovering...

****

The sun was slowly rising over the mountains... and it was this day that would mark the end of Belford's plot.

I knew this.

How did I know this?

Because I had faith not in some god or some divine intervention... but I had faith in Jacob Reaper and his companions. I watched Jacob, Rex and Leonardo wake from their slumber, shivering and shaking off the dewdrops from their fur. The poked fun at each other - rather Jacob made fun of Rex - and the trio exchanged a warm hug that filled my heart with both jealousy and admiration.

They would save this world... I knew that...

Again...

How did I know...?

Because of second encounter with Reaper...

****

Infiltrating Eden was incredibly simple.

I realised very early on that it sensed people's emotions or lack thereof. While I still had budding emotions, I believe she merely interpreted me as someone who was traumatised by the events of the tragedy. She allowed me easily enough into her bowels and there I waited as Reaper returned from his victory against Conway.

I waited in a corridor beside the atrium, leaning against the solid, metal wall with my arms crossed against my chest.

That bear cub stood in front of me again.

"Do you miss her?" the cub asked.

"I do not know."

"Do you remember her?"

"Yes."

He inclined his head to the side. "Then why don't you know if you miss her or not?"

Good question...

"Because I do not know what it means to feel like I'm missing someone..."

The cub smiled and jumped up, poking my chest with a finger. "If it feels like there's something missing in there" - he jumped up again, poking my chest - "then you miss someone! Did you feel that in there" - another poke - "before?"

I recalled that time back in the Emerald Crown where I did feel like someone was scraping my insides.

"I have..."

"Then you miss someone!" The cub grinned broadly. "Is it her?"

...

"Yes," I answered with a faint smile.

Slowly, I was coming to my senses... and slowly, I was starting to come to grips with my emotions. I knew who I was... but I needed confirmation...

I heard Reaper's voice coming down from the hallway...

Lucky me to have chosen the right hallway.

"Anyway, you guys organise what's coming up. We've only got about another day or so before the Purge hits us. We'll need a party making preparations. The rest can come watch the execution... and then the massacre afterwards."

Kerry Rawson and Max Lionhart turned away from Reaper and returned to whatever it was they were doing while Reaper headed towards me. He didn't seem to notice me and it looked like he was deep in thought. Just as he passed me, however, he did the oddest thing.

He talked to himself.

"And who do we pin this on?"

I wondered if he had a little spectral guardian like I did...

In either case...

"Anyone and everyone," I answered.

Reaper froze... and slowly turned to me, eyes wide in shock.

"This tragedy is playing out just like that animated TV show... Starboy, I believe it is called," I said, keeping my tone calm and slow. "The evil mastermind starts the wheel turning... and gives the resources to all that will take it. As they scramble to gain the upper hand and obtain the object of their dreams, the unwitting people become obstacles to the protagonist and are seen by the audience as 'evil'.

"All the while, they're little actions build to bigger picture... A 'villain' that is defeated will simply add to the power of the protagonist... Ultimately making them stronger. But at the same time, the main antagonist gains more power as well..."

Odd... I would never have known that had I not accessed my memories... Yes... They are my memories now... No matter what the voices said, they were my memories. These are my emotions. I will act on them... and not the bickering noise in my head.

"At the end of Starboy," I explained, "Black and Malice are told about the true nature of the Princess Comet... That Malice is truly the Princess and that she has had her memory altered to live countless generations in immortality as the safeguard against anyone actually succeeding."

"Because as long as the Princess Comet remains unclaimed, the king remains in power and immortal," Reaper finished. "I know."

Huh... I was impressed... "I'm impressed... You somehow managed to fit watching a children's cartoon show while the world was falling apart around you."

I could see Reaper was impressed by me as well. "Look at you. I thought you were deprived of all emotions and here you are with sarcasm."

Funny... I know I have emotions but it's still surprising when someone points out that I have them.

"Oh, and look at that. I hurt you."

And... those words did hurt.

A new emotion... I didn't like it... but I guess this discover of these emotions are slowly making me more and more... mortal.

That is what I needed from Reaper...

Confirmation that I was mortal... That I was capable of that true and final emotion...

Love.

"My Seal... my only Seal," I answered slowly, "is the barricade holding everyone's memories of Rose from arising once more. It does not stop what they have learned after Rose was split into three. It merely blocked their memories of the past. Rose was the very core of my existence... but even I was convinced that she died that day."

Yes... and as I spoke, those memories came back to me...

"You've been consumed by the Seal..."

I despaired when Belford gave me the Seal and told me Rose had died... I fell into grief... and in my grief, the voices took over. They tore me apart... pulling my consciousness every which way and trying to beg me to follow their orders. I tried to placate each of them... but I was driven insane as they just did not stop and they wanted me to change things that I could not change. For they were merely memories... and memories exist using facts from the past...

I could not change the past.

So... I fought a losing battle...

... and I lost.

"You're -"

I nodded slowly. "I believe the term you use is 'Unsealed'."

The shock on Reaper's face was quite amusing... I guess he would be the first person to ever find out that I was a monster in the eyes of so many people here on this planet.

"I believe you are aware that there are three types of Unsealed, correct?," I asked. "The Puritans, Tainted and Scion?"

Jacob's jaw dropped.

"It's funny," I said, unable to muster a laugh, "I possess the memories of Luke Armstrong and in a way, he and I are one... But at the same time, I am the fused consciousness of not only Luke but also the essences sacrificed to become the Seal I now possess... I am Luke... but I also possess the memories locked away by the Seal.

"And because of that... I am incapable of loving Rose Earthsire as Luke once did..."

I am incapable of love now...

... but I hoped that wouldn't be the case for long...

"I see your confusion," I said, seeing the shock fade from Reaper's features. "I have no idea if I am a defective Unsealed... or if I am even Unsealed at all... However, from what I have gathered, I fit the description fully. Regardless, I bear within me countless emotions derived from the memories that are kept from Rocky Groundwater. Some bear Rose Earthsire hatred... others... love... Some yet jealousy... and others yet friendship. In the complicated mess that is my heart, unfortunately, all those emotions merely conflict and negate one another...

"... and I am left with nothing... except for a drive to be with Rocky."

But I could not be with her as I am now...

... No... I needed to be someone else...

And there I had it...

My resolve...

My mission...

My destiny...

I had to be me again...

Thank you, Jacob Reaper...

I don't know if it's some power of yours or just that annoying way you can somehow provoke emotion from an otherwise empty husk... but...

Thank you.

"That said..." I said, straightened and turning around. "I thought it would interest you that despite my vast repository of emotions and memories, I do not possess the memories of one individual that should have had their memories erased."

"Belford."

I nodded grimly. "Indeed. I am unsure if it was merely part of whatever ritual he used to split Rose Earthsire into the three Seals or not but his memories were not blocked by me. Furthermore, I possess the memories of Conway Earthsire as well and I can tell you now that should my Seal have not come into existence, Conway would have retained his memories and blamed Belford just like Norton."

"Why? Why would he have blamed Belford!?"

I glanced over my shoulder to give him a smile. "Because it has always been Belford's goal to achieve perfection. Conway thought he was to be the epitome of perfection by obtaining a second Seal made from the love he bore his daughter. However, when robbed of that love, he was left with a crushing emptiness that he could not fill."

This... this was something I felt... The crushing emptiness inside of me... that hollow emotionless void which was filled only with the voices inside my head but no actual satisfaction or happiness... That was what I had felt for a long time.

I continued my explanation. "Belford constantly promised him that seeing Rose succeed would fill that void and so they both pushed Rose - who had become Belford's newest test subject - to reach perfection with the Seal she possessed."

"It did not work out and when Rose fled from the abuse, Conway blamed Belford for having tricked him not once but twice." I chuckled darkly. "I suppose he was tricked a third time when his memories were robbed from him... How pained Conway must have felt... to have that crushing emptiness in his heart... and yet not knowing why or what he had done to deserve such a fate except for what was being filtered through my Seal...

"He must have felt so lost... Having no recollection at all of his sins..." I closed my eyes briefly. Yes... I had been there... I felt so lost that I just followed the voices inside my head... and Conway followed the one voice that was telling him what to do... Belford's voice. "...and yet feeling the guilt for them... I wonder what is worse... being damned for crimes you are fully aware you committed... or being denied heaven for reasons unknown."

I shrugged. "Well... I hope you enjoy your little execution show, Reaper. I may know the past but I do not know the present. Perhaps Belford has changed his ways... perhaps he hasn't. Maybe once he is executed, this will all end."

I seriously doubted that... Belford was no fool. I needed to start preparing... I had my resolve... but now, I needed a means to meet that resolve...

"Wait!" Jacob exclaimed.

I stopped. "Yes?"

Reaper hesitated.

What reason would he have to hesitate?

Oh... of course... I am an Unsealed... Supposedly the most powerful Unsealed type there is. Perhaps he is scared of me?

Maybe I should be feeling some overwhelming confidence that I scared him so much... and yet... I did not.

I guess that's a sign of my evolution from that empty husk... I can now choose what emotions to feel.

Again... Thank you, Reaper.

"What are you going to do?"

I shrugged. "Again... I have no desire in my heart except to be with Rocky."

"Did you... Did you want me to shatter your Seal for you?"

I was surprised...

A sudden rush of emotions flooded into me.

A release from this existence...?

Freedom?

Will my soul be free at last?

Could I take that escape?

I was conflicted... I wanted it so much... I just wanted to sleep... I just wanted to close my eyes... let him shatter my Seal and no doubt everything would be so much better... for me anyway...

But I couldn't be that selfish...

No... Luke was never that selfish and neither am I.

The reason Luke first approached Rose when he and his friends were spying on the training yard was because he felt so sorry for her. He could go out and play with his friends and have a life while she - a girl the same age as him - was stuck inside a MODD training facility having no life. He couldn't live like that...

... He was never selfish.

And there we have it...

I know who I am now...

... and I know what I must do.

A gentle smile crossed my features and that dislodged the tear that was welling in the corner of my eye. I caught it on a finger and smiled at it.

"Odd... I have never cried before..." I was lying of course... but you know what? It would have a more dramatic effect on Reaper if I said that. "Perhaps I shall take you on that offer, Reaper. Should Rocky simply cease to exist, I would ask you to destroy my existence as well. With the source of my purpose gone... there is little need to continue wasting space."

My purpose...

My Rocky...

"I'll be there," Reaper said, "Just ask."

I smiled at him, gave him a firm nod and left his presence.

As I headed back towards the atrium where Belford was giving his speech, I felt my heart suddenly pounding against my chest, increasing in pace with every step I took. I realised all too soon that I knew who was coming towards me...

My world seemed to shake as we drew closer...

... and that smile on my face was getting very hard to hide.

I was trembling... While I had met Rocky so many time before and exchanged words with her... this was the first time I was actually meeting her... Not as some avatar of the voices in my head... but rather, as myself...

I was scared.

Suddenly, Rocky collapsed against the wall, filling me with dread. Then I saw a tear roll down her cheek and I smiled.

Slowly... I approached and her gently brushed away the tear with my finger.

"Soot..." she whispered, locking gazes with me.

"Girls don't cry," I said, recalling those times I had uttered those words so many times to her.

She straightened, trying to look tough. I don't think she remembered just how many times she did that exact thing in the past. There were times when I introduced her to my friends that she fell down and cried. I would tell her that 'Girls don't cry' and then she's suddenly bounce up and pretend she wasn't crying using some lame excuse like, 'I had dust in my eye'.

"I'm not a girl!" she retorted.

Not exactly the excuse I was looking for but still amusing.

"Mentally, perhaps."

"How did you get in here?" she demanded, drawing Earthborn, her Seal Weapon. "Did Max let you in?"

I chuckled mildly and placed a paw on the wall. "This Animus is very wise... perhaps as sentient as Reaper's Animus... Spectre..." I narrowed my eyes. "Hmmm... No... Not quite. It responds to emotion instead of actually having a soul... It can differentiate friend from foe with their emotions... Unsealed are repelled because of relentless hunger... enemies for their hatred and dark hearts...

"But as for myself... I have no emotions... Perhaps the only weakness of this otherwise impenetrable fortress."

"How can you have no emotions? That's impossible."

Well... There would have been a time that I would have believed that was true... But I knew I had emotions now. I welcomed them. I was just hiding them because that was necessary for my plan.

"Not so when you are nothing but a hollow shell held together by a magical symbol."

Rocky staggered back in shock. "You're a Puritan!"

I chuckled and nodded. I was surprised she didn't see the flaw in how my chuckling showed amusement and that was an emotion. "Indeed. Ironic, is it not, that the weakest of my species are so monstrous and yet the most powerful are so similar to your Mortaelians that it is difficult to tell them apart."

She levelled her weapon at me. "Stay back! I'm warning you!"

Okay... that hurt a little but it was perfectly understandable.

We weren't exactly who we were meant to be right now...

But I'm going to fix that soon.

"I will not harm you," I said, raising a paw calmly. I leaned against the wall, folding my arms calmly. I hoped that she would remember that pose as I usually used it when I was addressing her back in the past. By the look of fear in her eyes... that wasn't the case. "I have just come to talk."

"Then what do you want?"

I let her start the conversation.

Mostly because I was lost for words... I wanted to tell her everything... Tell her that I was back... but... would she really believe me? She didn't even believe she was Rose in the past. A reason why I had to keep my emotions hidden until the time was right. If I revealed my true emotions now... they would get lost soon...

"So... If you don't have emotions..." Rocky began. "Do you feel anything... about me...?"

Wait... Did she remember?

I looked in her eyes...

No... she didn't... She was just acting on the facts she had been told. I wanted to scream 'Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!'

But I held back.

"What feelings Luke felt for you are long gone. I am not Luke. I am an amalgamation of Luke and all the relationships that Rose Earthsire had forged before Belford made you. I am Soot. A collection of impure carbon particles formed from combustion."

Wow... That was creative... even for me.

Maybe I have something else to thank Reaper for.

"So why did you join MODD and my division if you don't feel anything for me?"

'Because I felt this overwhelming compulsion to be with you?'

No... Couldn't say that...

Think...

"What else could I do?" I answered. "I am a Puritan Unsealed. MODD would hunt me down. They have the means. However, if I joined MODD, their own ranks are where they are least likely to look for an Unsealed."

Okay... My turn to ask questions.

"May I ask you something?"

She smirked faintly. "Curiosity is an emotion, you know."

There's the Rose I know...

... and damn, she's on to me...

"The answer is not for my benefit," I answered. "Would it be truly bad if you were to accept that you were Rose Earthsire at one point in your existence?"

Please say 'no'...

Please say 'no'...

"I am not Rose."

Oh well...

It was worth a shot.

Either way, it was a loaded question.

I mean, I would've lost either way. If she said 'no', my plans would've gone the drain, all that effort just gone. If she said 'yes' like she essentially did... well... I was effectively shot down.

Still... I was filled with both disappointment... and hope.

"You aren't now but at one point, you were."

"No I wasn't!" she jabbed my chest with Earthborn. "And if I have to accept I was Rose, you have to accept you were Luke Armstrong at one point! Rose's lover!"

I narrowed my eyes at me. I think... I think there was some part of Rose still in there... She was effectively telling me to 'go first'. If I accepted I was Luke... would she...? "I have accepted that." I averted my gaze from her. "I find it fascinating... There are five of us... perhaps six who have had our memories drastically altered."

I lifted a finger and began counting the individuals off.

"First there was Conway... Whose very purpose of living was stolen from him... He was tasked by his wife to forever love their daughter but when his love was permanently snatched from him, the core of his being crumbled and he was forever haunted by the terrible things he performed during his time as a madman. His memories constantly haunted him... and he chose to dedicate his life to righting the wrongs that cannot be righted."

I uncurled a second finger. "Then there was Norton... Like Conway, he was haunted by his past. His reason for living was snatched from him but he chose to hold it close to him and has worked tirelessly to ensure that the tragedies of the past never repeat themselves again. To this end, he has attempted to distance himself as much as possible from his pain but was never aware or rather, refused to acknowledge that he was carrying it around with him the entire time."

"Then, of course, there is myself. I am not Luke Armstrong. I am Soot. My memories are a combination of all the memories of those that were connected to you and Luke's. However, unlike the others, they have merely collided with one another and negated one another. I am simply left with emotionless images. I see them. I acknowledge they are mine. But I could not care less."

I was left with that... but I made something from it.

I was me.

"Gabriel is another. Supposedly a vessel empty of memories so Belford placed your original Seal into him, giving him some degree of personality to reforge more memories. An empty creature of no memories... Quite the opposite of me, really."

And that worried me...

I think I can see Belford's plan...

I hoped I was wrong... but poor Gabriel...

I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "Of course, that leaves us with you, Rocky. You have two sets of memories. Two different personalities. Two seemingly opposite personalities from all accounts. You've essentially had a fresh start. But now the first set of memories is coming back... and one has to question which one will prove to be the dominant one.

"I find it mostly interesting how you are somewhat an opposite to Jacob Reaper. While he accepts his past, that perhaps he could have been a totally different person to who he is now, you reject it, constantly insisting that you were never that person. Even before Conway was killed and his Seal released to you, you vehemently rejected the idea that you were Rose Earthsire at one point or another... Perhaps it is the work of a Seal... perhaps not."

All of us... all six of us... Our memories twisted and turned by MODD...

Most of us would die at the end of this... I think only one or two would survive... I knew Jacob would survive. He was an adaptor... He changed himself constantly to suit his surroundings and the situation. He didn't get stuck in the past like the rest of us did...

... and I guess... That's where he has the one-up on us...

"Well," I said, lowering his paw and pushing off the wall, "I assume that since you are not attacking me, you won't kill me." I away from her and began striding away.

"Wait."

I froze...

She was calling me back...

Did she want me back...?

No... I don't think so...

Not in that way...

But I think in another way... And even if I'm left with just that... I would be content.

We all have to move on from the past... Not let us weigh us down. The past is a stepping stone... not a weight.

"One more question," I said, stopping in mid-step and turning around to face her. "What is it about that aniga, Starboy, that has both you and Luke so fascinated?"

I saw her searching through her memories...

... and my heart began trembling all the faster... I was shaking in my shoes... and I was starting to feel dizzy from having kept my breath held for so long.

"Rose thought that the Princess was a lot like her and that Black was a lot like Soot," she answered softly. "She always imagined that in the end, the Princess would end up with Black... and in her heart, that is how she wanted her story to end. Unfortunately..."

Right... Unfortunately... it didn't quite end that way.

She wasn't a Princess anymore... but they did live happily ever after.

I held hope...

Yeah... That's the one emotion I was looking for... The one thing missing from my repertoire...

Hope...

Now I had it.

I nodded. "I see." I turned around again and began heading away once more. "I wish you luck in your endeavour Rocky Groundwater. Remember, however, that memory is simply a recording made by you about events that have transpired.

"Learn to view them objectively... and perhaps you will see the truth masked by the memories."

And maybe...

... I'll get to hold you in my arms again.

****

My plans were not reaching fruition...

Not long now.

As the sun left the mountains below, Reaper and his team gathered in front of the cathedral, unbeknownst to me who stood on the partially ruined steeple, watching them from above. They exchanged fond farewells and wishes for good luck. Despite the tension between some of the characters down there... I could see that they were a closely knit group...

They would not abandon one another.

And I would not abandon Rocky.

I smiled... grinned really...

I had my purpose...

I had a destination...

I had a plan...

Now... All I had to do was execute it...

"Are you ready?"

I glanced down and found my little younger counterpart standing beside me, grinning up at me. Reaper and his team split off and headed in their different directions. One team was heading towards the Emerald Crown and the other was heading out to the Grey Grounds Graveyard.

I knew which team I would follow in secret.

I knew what I had to do.

I knew what I wanted.

"Yeah," I answered, taking my counterpart's paw. "I'm ready."

My name is Soot...

My body is that of Luke Armstrong.

My soul... is my own.