The Rain
I'm depressed, its late, I can't sleep, and my whole area is flooded. My heart goes out to my mate, not a day goes by I don't think about you. What you read here is not quite a story, not quite a poem. It's just...or will be a fragment of my past.
The fire of love flickers. My flames that once burned bright now shine dimmed. It's raining, its been raining here for a while now. Floods, that's what happens when it rains too much. Homes, lives, futures, all washed away by what some would call 'purging' waters. How I wish my troubles could simply flow away, like the rivers that burst and break any barriers in their way.
I miss him, my love. Distance is our enemy, and society is every watching sentries. My brave solider, fight, fight back the world and back into my arms. I will be your wings, and you will be my wind. But now the night falls, this fox is awake, and alone. Why do my thoughts always drift back to emptiness? My bed, my room, my space...empty, life leaks out from it slowly. There's no rest to be had, not dreams to be delivered as I stay awake in the nightmare. I wait, it's the only thing I can do to spit in the face of time.
No longer have I emptied my mind, it begins to fill again. The thoughts...love, longing, leaving. Yes, leaving, I want to leave here. Every moment I spend here, life ticks off a countless mark in a history that is dull. I feel it eating at me, the clock continues to move, its crawl slowly draining my attention. Why do I have a concept of late?
There he is again, my love. I wish to hold him, to kiss him, just to feel his warmth. Please...just let me have my happiness. Just...
Time likes to jump when you take your eyes off it, tricky little bastards minuets are. I really need to go. This place is killing me. No...that's just me, I'm killing me, or more specific, my mind is. It makes these connections, from jealousy, to envy, to sorrow, to anger. It just trails me into this spiral of madness, I need escape. I bat my tail and push my way up and out, into the empty hallways. The faint glow of light trickles with the rain drops from the window outside.
My fur blends perfectly in the dark, just like the outside, it matches the inside, a vacant seemingly empty space. I think of him again, not just him but others too. I don't have a sense of 'fairness' anymore that just stems more into the jealousy and envy drowning pools. Where is he? Where is anyone? I leave the empty halls, the creek of floor boards the only thing to accompany me. My house, my home, my shell. Sound echoes through the space between me and the tall walls. I look out and listen to the patter of the rain, every drop becoming part of the pool that spreads across the land. I really need to get out of this.
Out of where? There's no where I can run that my mind won't follow. I'm a fool to think that I could...think, that's what it makes me do, a curse and a blessing. Where are you now my love, can my heart reach you yet? I look around, the shadows forming objects that send my thoughts back to him. Gods, I wish he were here, to pull me out from this haze, this distraught, to save me...from myself.
Escape, run, flee. It's only natural.
Outside, the door clicks to close behind me. The rain is louder now, helping drown out my thoughts. I step into the shaking air. My fur becomes wet as I look up, my arms spread wide in hopes of a divine deliverance. Only nothing greets me. I stand with my head turned to the heavens; their rolling thunders turn away from me. Nothing is here for me, nothing but the sweet kiss of raindrops upon my lips.