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I wanted to die. I wanted to die more emphatically and more viscerally than I ever thought possible. I lay underneath four blankets, still wearing the same clothes I had worn last night, a wad of suffering and despair. I smelled awful, the room was stifling hot and between my four winter-weight blankets, the sheet, and my dress pants and silk shirt I was fairly soaked through with sweat. I didn't care. I dimly hoped I would succumb to heatstroke, but I knew I wouldn't. I was too damned resilient for that. And I knew the oversized guilt lobe in my brain would kick in before too long and make me get up and take care of my responsibilities. If I managed to die before that it would be a whole lot easier, but knowing my luck it wouldn't be the case.

Sure enough, I heard the doorknob turn, muffled by the thick layer of cloth between me and the outside world. I didn't move, hoping beyond hope that my roommate would leave me alone, I was most decidedly not in the mood for her lighthearted teasing. It would be like rubbing sulfuric acid into a gangrenous genital wound. I heard her walk across the room, disturbing numerous glass bottles and various plastic wrappers as she did so. Then I felt a paw slide under my sweltering shell. I gripped the blankets and held tight, I wanted to be left alone!

"Four cases of ginger ale, six packages of jerky, and I can't even count how many snack cakes. What happened?" There was real concern in her voice. Right on schedule I felt guilt boiling up from the dark abyssal depths of my psyche to wash over me in a veritable tide of fresh misery.

"I don't want to talk about it." My roommate finally wrested the blankets from my grasp and peeled them back, wrinkling her nose a bit at the hideous smell.

"If it's this bad I think you need to." I was lying face down so I could only see her out of my left eye, her vaguely canine muzzle was pinched in concern. I didn't dare look her in the eyes.

"I can't." I whispered. She looked me over for a moment without saying anything and eventually nodded slightly.

"Okay, we can talk later, but right now you need to bathe....and wash this bedding." She was going to extract the story from me, I'd been living with her long enough to know that she was capable of getting me to tell her anything.

"Yeah...I'm sorry." She looked even more worried after that.

"It's fine. Come on, I'll clean the room up while you take a shower."

"I can clean-"

"You need to take a shower. I can clean up the mess."

"But-"

"Adam." Her tone was gentle, but she was adamant.

"You're right, sorry." I walked to the small bathroom attached to the bedroom, grabbing some fresh clothes out of the laundry basket as I did. I could hear her cleaning up the mess I had left as I stripped out of my disgusting clothes and pulled soap, a washcloth, and deodorant out of the bathroom closet and set them on the edge of the sink and in the shower stall respectively. I turned the water on and stepped in, not bothering to adjust the temperature beforehand. It was lukewarm; I listlessly scrubbed the filth off myself and pondered my roommate while I did, anything to distract myself from the agony permeating my soul.

My roommate was a Lucario I had been given when I was twelve years old. She was a gift from my foster parents Ross and Catherine, I had always loved pokemon and gotten along with them, but other people...not so much. I had never had a real friend before she came along. I'll always remember the day we first met, just thinking about it made me feel a little bit better.

*flashback*

I had just gotten off the bus home from school, where I had been laughed at the whole day because I kept tripping over things, the doctors said my growth spurt was coming early and that this was totally normal, but to me it didn't matter. It was just one more thing everyone made fun of me for. I walked home slowly and miserably, swearing I could still hear the last of the jeering taunts from the bus. Normally walking up the long gravel driveway made me feel better, a signal that I had survived another day, not today; I was so depressed I nearly walked right into Ross' car. That was odd, he normally wasn't home this early. He was the dean of medicine at Pastoria's only hospital, he could work some incredibly long hours and he was never home before seven on weekdays.

I opened the front door quietly; suddenly worried that I was in trouble, why else would Ross be home early? It would be just my luck, I must have done something wrong at school and one of my teachers had called mom, who had called dad and now I was going to get yelled at. Great, just great. I mentally prepared myself for what was to come and stepped through the door timidly.

"Mom, dad, I'm home."

"Adam, come into the kitchen, we need to talk." That was dad, he didn't sound mad, but I could never tell. I walked to the kitchen, sure I was about to get yelled at, stopping only to drop my backpack. Mom and dad were both there and they looked serious, this was going to be bad.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked nervously, what did I do? I can't think of anything that could've made a teacher call home, I don't think I even raised my hand to answer a question! Catherine started, motioning me into a chair as she did.

"Honey, we've been talking...we know you're having a rough time at school." No duh. "And we're worried. You never talk about having any friends." I looked down, they had always tried to help me make friends by signing me up for after school sports (I was so clumsy I had to withdraw after the first week), an acting class (my awkward bumbling and stage fright ruined that too), and my crowning achievement of failure: scouting. I liked it, I really did, I was just so clumsy I couldn't do any of the stuff the scoutmasters wanted me to do. I could understand the theory, I just couldn't do anything right.

"I...I don't have any." Catherine knelt down and hugged me.

"Why not?"

"Be-because they all laugh at me. I can't even walk in a straight line without falling over."

"It's normal to be a bit clumsy when you start going through puberty. I know I sure was." Ross said, kneeling down to look me in the eye. "It will happen to the rest of them soon enough, but that's not really why we wanted to talk to you." Wait, what? Then why had they brought it up?

"Then...then why? Am I in trouble?" Ross shook his head.

"No, you're not in trouble."

Catherine smiled brightly, reaching into one of the cupboards and pulling out a box, it was covered in wrapping paper...a present?

"It's not my birthday." Was all I could think to say.

"We know, but we've been talking and we think you've earned something special." Now I was really confused.

"Huh?" They were both smiling now.

"Despite all the times you've been sick," I had always been sick a lot, the doctors had never figured out why, my stomach hurt a lot, so did my arms and legs and eyes. The doctors said my arms and legs were growing pains since I was growing so fast, they couldn't explain the eye pain. "And the hard time the other kids give you you've never gotten anything less than an A in any of your classes, you've always followed the rules, and you've gone the extra mile to get ahead in your classes and help your teachers. We can't tell you how proud we are." Now I was crying, proud of me? I was a complete failure. The only reason I was doing well was because I helped my teachers so they would like me. "Your teachers all tell us that they love having you in class and how responsible you are. You've earned this."

"Go on, open it up." Catharine said. I didn't understand what I had done to earn anything, but if I didn't they would get mad. I carefully removed the tape, trying not to rip the actual paper. Once I got it off I pulled the top off the plain box to reveal...paper? I picked it up and started reading it. The print was tiny, I had to squint real hard to make it out...oh, it was upside down, that explains a bit. I turned it over and...my heart stopped. I read the first line over and over, not sure if I was dreaming or not.

"T-this license certifies A-adam Benoit legally eligible to keep, trade and b-battle pokemon." My pokemon license, I had always wanted one, but I didn't think I would get one for...for years! Tears were streaming down my face now, I couldn't believe this! Catherine pulled me into a hug, and held me while I cried, I was dimly aware that I was still holding the license in my hand as I did so.

"You've done a great job honey, we're so proud of you."

"We applied for it a week ago, the card should come in the mail in the next few days." I pulled away from Catherine enough to see Ross, wiping my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffling a bit, suddenly embarrassed, I shouldn't have been crying like that. "But the license isn't the only thing in the box." I grabbed the box and sure enough, nested inside a layer of tissue paper was a single, tiny pokeball.

"Congratulations honey, we know you'll make a great trainer." I carefully pulled the ball out of the tissue paper and held it in my hands, shocked and happy beyond words. Catherine got up and Ross patted me on the head.

"You should go meet your new friend, Adam. It'd be a shame to keep them waiting."

"I...I...thank you. Thank you so much!" My parents both laughed at that, and mom nudged me towards the back yard.

"Go, I'm sure they're dying to meet you!" I ran out the back door and into the large back yard, we lived far out of the city on a house that had been in Ross' family for generations, so the yard was huge; with plenty of open space bordered by trees. I ran to the middle of the yard and looked down at the pokeball in my hands, still unable to believe how things had turned out. I pressed the button on the pokeball, making it enlarge to its full size, then I dropped it on the ground. I couldn't wait to see what kind of pokemon it was! The pokeball hit the ground and bounced up, opening and spilling red light as it did. I caught the ball (barely) as it fell again and watched eagerly as the red light took shape.

It formed itself into a small, lithe, biped with long ears and large eyes. I couldn't help but stare as the body fully materialized and the Rilou shook itself. It blinked and looked around quickly before its eyes settled on me.

"Hi! Are you my trainer?" Its voice was light and cheerful, definitely female.

"Yeah! Um..." Oh, geez, what was I supposed to do now? My pokemon books never covered this part. Thankfully, she saved me from an inevitable blunder by interrupting what I was about to say.

"Wanna play?" She piped, she was humming with energy, suddenly I didn't feel so awkward about this anymore, she didn't seem to think I was weird, so maybe I wouldn't have to worry.

"Sure! What do you-"

"Tag! You're it!" She sprang off, laughing.

"Hey! No fair!" I ran after her, smiling as I did.

We ended up chasing each other around the yard until nightfall, I fell down a whole lot, but she didn't laugh at me for it, she just waited for me to get up and let me get close again before running. Despite my clumsiness I managed to tag her a few times, which honestly shocked me, it was the most fun I'd had since school started. Mom and dad called us in when it started to get dark, by that point we were so tired we weren't going to last long anyway. After a quick dinner it was time for bed. After I bathed brushed my teeth I walked to my room to find my Rilou standing next to my bed.

"Are you gonna put me back in the ball?" I looked at the pokeball on my dresser, where I had left it when I grabbed my pajamas earlier. You were supposed to put pokemon in their balls at night right? The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to.

"Not if you don't want to go back."

"Then...are we going to sleep on the bed together?" She cocked her head to the side, it was really cute.

"I guess so. Come on." I pulled the covers up and she crawled up onto the bed, burrowing underneath the blankets briefly before her head popped out at the head of the bed, on one of the many pillows there. I crawled in after her and pulled the blankets over us both, she giggled as I settled myself in. I was about to ask her what was so funny, but I yawned before I could stop myself; that made her yawn too.

"G'night." Her eyelids were drooping already.

"Good night." I had just closed my eyes when I felt something soft and warm brush against my chest. I looked down to see her snuggled against me, smiling and already asleep. That brought tears to my eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and held her while she slept; I stayed up a long time that night. I didn't get to sleep until past midnight, but I didn't care. I finally had a friend.

*end flashback*

I didn't end up giving her a name until the next day, it was kind of funny when I thought back on it, I totally forgot until the bus ride home from school. I had been thinking about her all day but she didn't have a name yet. I picked Lucia, a very common name for female Lucario (not that there were many trainers who had them). It may have been cliché, but I liked it a lot. We quickly became inseparable, even more so after I was transferred to a special trainer's school instead of a regular one. We excelled in our classes even though I hated battling, I couldn't stand to see her hurt. Over the years we got so close we finished each other's sentences, I could always count on her. She actually saved my life once, that story came to mind as well, it wasn't nearly as uplifting as the story of how we met, but it had everything to do with why I was so miserable today.

You see, I'm a hybrid. Scion of a relationship between a pokemon and a human, a pariah scorned and vilified by human society. Hybrids are rare because, well let's face it, there just aren't many combinations of pokemon and human that can viably conceive. Most of them fighting types, given the similarities in body structure, other hybrid crosses were possible, but the offspring rarely carried to term. The few hybrids that did survive were all marked in some way, usually quite obviously. A machop/machoke/machamp and human cross would usually have a blue skin tone and markings on his or her biceps for example. My father was a Lucario, somehow I'm the most human looking hybrid I've ever seen. I look totally normal physically, the only thing that sets me apart is my eyes, I have blood red eyes; but that's what color contacts are for.

Hybrids live a lonely, stressful, and often dangerous life; pokemon accepted us just fine, but humans hated us. It wasn't as bad in the big cities anymore; it wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination, but not as bad. The smaller towns were worse. In some small rural towns...well, lynching wasn't unheard of. Most of us hid our parentage by any means necessary, and those of us that didn't often had to enter protective custody for fear of being mobbed. On my worst days I couldn't stand the injustice of it, it wasn't our fault! We couldn't choose our parents, so why punish us? I knew why of course: fear. Humans feared us. It turns out trying to cross humans and pokemon doesn't work very often, but when it does it produces strong offspring.

I, for instance, am capable of Aura manipulation. Not to the extent that a Lucario is, but I can use Aura sight and manifest Aura spheres; they aren't as powerful as a Lucario's would be, but they can punch holes through trees and walls easily enough. I'm also much stronger and more resilient to damage than any normal human. I can bench press five hundred pounds without really trying. These traits help me out on my job tremendously, but I have to be extremely careful not to do anything that would make anyone suspicious. Humans fear us because we are more powerful, and they persecute us to try and keep us from 'taking over'. Please, as if we would want to. All the hybrids I've met and talked to (the ones who knew about me and vice-versa) share a kind of deep-seated disdain for politics and politicians, more so than most humans. Politicians would do anything to remain in power, and if enough people called for Hybrid Registration...

A few radical politicos suggested such things every election, thankfully there weren't many. Their plans were almost all identical and they would all make us second class citizens at best, lab rats at worst. We would be taken from our homes and families, our pokemon taken away from us, and we'd be 'studied' in the interests of 'understanding us'. Thankfully they never made any progress, I could never be sure why, but I had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the fact that a lot of the private contractors that police forces hired when things got severely out of control, or governments hired when things had to be done 'quietly' happened to be hybrids. I had actually gotten a job offer by a mercenary captain once, I had turned him down politely but I knew he had his eye on me. I also knew that if a Hybrid registration law did pass, he and his men would do their damndest to make an example of whoever passed it.

I was lucky really, normally a hybrid finds out he or she is a hybrid in one of three ways: 1. Their parents come out and tell them, 2. They have obvious markings that give them away, and 3. They are found out in a medical examination. There weren't many medical tests that could confirm hybrid status, but some hybrids were so radically different than humans on a biological level that inconsistencies in more common tests were so great the doctors put two and two together. In case you were wondering, the way I was found out was somewhere between two and three.

I was a fairly sick kid, there was always something hurting: eyes, ears, arms, legs, stomach, head, take your pick. Since my foster father was the dean of medicine I was able to get the best medical care, and I really have to hand it to those doctors; they really did try their absolute hardest. They just couldn't find what was wrong. A few months after I got Lucia the pains got worse, and more frighteningly I started going blind. It wasn't really noticeable at first, things got a little blurry, but things rapidly escalated. Within a few weeks of it starting I could barely see. Mom and dad were frantic of course, and the doctors at the hospital were baffled. I showed had an increased white blood cell count as though I was sick, but every test they ran came back negative. I was healthier than most kids my age, there was no medical reason I should be losing my sight and in this much pain. Ross tore himself apart trying to help me; it really speaks to his character how far he went.

Since he was the dean of medicine he pulled rank and got copies of every test they tried on me, and he would stay up late every night, pouring over every medical text he could get his hands on, it was futile. There just weren't any answers anywhere...until one night something caught his eye. My eyes. They were the key.

*flashback*

I was in my room, I had gone to bed at eight or so, it was midnight now but I was still awake. Ever since I my eyes started going I had trouble sleeping, the pain was manageable, but not the fear. It's truly terrifying to lose the sense you depend on most. Lucia had become my guide by necessity, right now she was curled up in bed beside me, her evolved form tucked against my side with a paw around my waist and her head on my chest. She was worried about me, not that I could blame her. I barely slept anymore, and I ate less than half of what I should have. I lost thirty pounds since this started two months ago, they really aren't pounds I have to spare, I'm skinny as it is; down thirty pounds I'm cadaverous. Lucia stirred suddenly, breaking my reverie.

"Ross is coming." She said, keeping her arm around me. We technically weren't supposed to sleep like this anymore, but I didn't care. Having her here was the only way I could sleep anymore. Before I could answer Ross opened the door.

"Adam, come to my study. I think I have something." He turned and walked out, clearly expecting me to follow. I got up and went to walk out but Lucia stopped me.

"I'll help." Suddenly I was angry and embarrassed, I could find my way through my own house thank you very much! The indignation faded quickly, and guilt took its place. She didn't deserve that. I held out a hand and she took it, leading me along. I could have made it on my own, but she was upset too, and this helped her. When we did get to the study Ross sat me down in a chair across from him and told me to keep my eyes open and look at him. I was more than a little confused, but I did as he said. He pulled out some of the pictures they took of my eyes and started looking back and forth. After a while I got seriously cold, the house could be drafty and I was only wearing sleep pants and a t-shirt.

"Your eyes are changing color." He said suddenly.

"What? I thought your eyes didn't change." What did that have to do with anything?

"They normally don't, but this is a clue! If we can figure out why they're changing maybe we can figure out what's wrong and how to fix it!" He was excited; I let him have his moment without sharing my own private doubts.

"What...what do you think could make his eyes change?" Lucia was even more uneducated about human biology than I was, and she was probably more confused than me. Ross looked at her and was about to say something but then he froze. As close as we were I could make out his face enough to see the glimmer of an idea cross his face. It wasn't fully formed, but he had a hunch. He studied my eyes closely and then looked at Lucia; he switched back and forth for a while, growing more intent as he did so. And more grave. Then he shuffled through some of the papers on his desk and looking at them in quick succession. The dawning of realization on his face turned to denial...and fear.

"I...I think I might know. But I need to do one more test, to be sure." He reached into a small box and pulled out a needle and an alcohol swab. "I need a sample of your blood." I hate needles. Hate hate hate hate hate.

"O...okay." Ross scrubbed the crook of my left elbow with the alcohol swab and I looked away as he inserted the needle. Lucia put her paws on my shoulders reassuringly. I hated myself for being such a baby, but it felt nice. It was over quickly. I put a bandage on the sluggishly leaking puncture myself, trying to salvage a little pride.

"Okay, go back to bed now. I should know for sure tomorrow." He sounded like he hoped he wasn't right, that couldn't be good. I let Lucia lead me back to my room, we were both silent as we went. Once we were both back in bed neither of us could sleep for a long time, exhaustion finally set in sometime around three in the morning.

The next day I was a mess, barely three hours of sleep, in pain, and preoccupied with what had happened the night before, thankfully my teachers were more than willing to cut me some slack. When I got home I found that waiting was even harder than it was at school. I couldn't focus on anything that could pass the time. Three o'clock rolled around, then four, then five. By the time dad got home at eight I was so strung out I was ready to snap. Mom tried to talk to him when he came in but he interrupted her before she could get a single word out.

"Come to my study. I know what's happening." Needless to say, we followed. When we got in dad actually locked the door, as if he was afraid someone was going to burst in. I was too anxious to sit, so were Lucia and mom. "I was able to run the last test I had to do without anyone noticing. There aren't any records of it; no one knows it was performed. Adam, all the aches and pains you had weren't growing pains. Your body is changing on a fundamental level."

"So I have some kind of disease?" Please let him know, I just want to know.

"No, Adam. You...you're a hybrid." Silence.

"W-what?" No, no I couldn't be!

"It was your eyes that made me start thinking. They were changing color. That didn't make sense, and when I took a look at Lucia's eyes, things began falling into place. I ran a specialized dna test on your blood Adam. Your father was a Lucario." I couldn't speak, there...there was no way. I looked at the test results, they were clearly labeled. Realization slowly set in.

"I...I'm an abomination." I said slowly. Mom was crying, she was about to stop me but I didn't let her. "I'm a freak. If...if anyone finds out they'll-" Mom hugged me, hard, like she was trying to keep me from running away or something. Dad hugged me too.

"No one will find out Adam, I've made sure of that." I hugged them back, after a moment Lucia joined in as well, careful of the small spike on her chest. I just stood there, unable to believe what was happening. I couldn't let anyone ever find out. I would always have to be on guard, I couldn't do anything abnormal. My friends would have to be watched for signs of suspicion...I'd never be able to marry. That came a as a serious blow, being an orphan I had always wanted a family and I had always planned on getting married and having children. Knowing that I would never be able to let someone get that close was more painful than I ever thought possible.

"Sometimes when a hybrid is born...the changes aren't obvious at first, they grow slowly. When puberty starts it acts like dumping nitrous oxide into an engine: it speeds them up. That's what's happening." Ross explained. "The good news is that there have been a few case studies of Lucario hybrids that were in the hospital records. The eye changing is normal and your vision will come back, there's no way of knowing what traits will manifest themselves, but you will be able to see again." That would have been relieving if it weren't for the fact that my life was, in effect, over.

"What do I do?" My voice was tiny, even to my own ears. No one said anything for a while, then Lucia spoke up.

"You survive." I blinked and looked at her, confused. She met and held my gaze. "Being a hybrid doesn't change who you are. What you are and who you are...they're completely different things. It doesn't matter who your father was, you are still you."

"How...how can you be so certain?" How could any of them even stand to be in the same room as me?

"I have known you all my life Adam." She said, quietly. "I know who you are. This changes nothing." She sounded so...sure, like she was telling me that the sky is blue, or the grass is green. I clung to that. I needed it.

"We can get you some color contacts for your eyes, and we can hide whatever else comes up. It will be okay Honey; you don't have to do this alone." Mom said, she was crying too. We all were, except Lucia. I felt so small, so vulnerable. I didn't know if I could do this even with their help. I pulled away and we all broke apart, standing awkwardly.

"What are we going to do if...when my eyes magically get better?" We all looked at Dad, he was the only one who could answer that one.

"There are a few rare diseases that have similar symptomology. I'll find the right textbooks and work from there. If worst comes to worst...a few people owe me some big favors." I didn't understand what he was saying for a second, when I got it I recoiled. Dad never played games, he never took bribes, he was fair. Always.

"B-but that could...you could lose your job!" I all but shouted.

"If that's what it takes, then so be it." No, no, he couldn't do that.

"You can't say that! If you lose your job then-"

"Then I will have lost my job protecting my son!" He said vehemently. Dad had always been very non-political, but at the same time he had always firmly believed that hybrids deserved to be treated fairly. Mom, who had been quiet until now finally broke her silence.

"I...I will stand by you, Ross. No matter what happens." I couldn't believe this; they were willing to risk everything...for me.

"Nothing in this world could take me from you, Adam." Lucia said, with the same bedrock assurance she had before. Maybe...maybe I could do this. I yawned, suddenly exhausted.

"I think we should all go to bed. You especially, Adam." Said mom, I wasn't about to argue.

"Yes, you need to sleep as much as possible. Your body is burning through a lot of energy just going through puberty, and the changes aren't making it easier. You need to eat more as well." Dad was in full-on doctor mode now, speaking on automatic while his mind was mapping the next step, medically speaking.

"Okay...thank you." Lucia gently took my right hand in her paws and led me out as mom and dad said their goodnights. Neither of us spoke as we returned to my room, I changed quickly into my regular sleeping attire, pajama pants and a t-shirt; and climbed into bed. Lucia climbed in after me and pulled the blankets over us both, then she draped an arm over me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, she didn't protest.

"Good night." She said softly, nuzzling me.

"Good night."

The next few weeks were hard. Murphy being my perpetual nemesis, the bastard, had seen fit to ensure that I found out the most soul-searing news you could ever hear right before finals. Under the best of conditions I am a nervous, high-strung wad of stress and anxiety; after learning the truth about my parents I was a complete ruin. My teachers all remarked to me that I looked horrible and perhaps I should stay home, given the circumstances they would be perfectly willing to let me take my finals a bit late, and even if I didn't take them at all I would still pass my classes. I politely refused, giving them the cover story Dad concocted, some rare disease that affects the optic nerve or some such. I can't even remember whatever it was he called it. I couldn't pronounce it anyway, it was thirty five letters long (I counted) and I ended up having Mom copy a page out of one of Dad's medical texts about it to avoid the trouble. I took my finals, despite the fact that everyone told me that I didn't need the stress or that I would pass my classes anyway so I shouldn't risk my health. The only one who didn't join in was Lucia, I think she understood that I needed to do this. I needed the normality to keep myself together.

I aced all my finals, much to the amazement of my teachers and parents, if not exactly their pleasure. According to Dad I was now in the worst phase of the changes, it sure felt like it. I ached constantly, I was always exhausted, always hungry, yet too sick to eat much. I looked like a corpse not quite old enough to really rot, and even if the tests didn't require much energy (or thought for that matter), going about my regular school routine left me almost unable to move seeing as I was sleeping even less than I had been before. I was able to finish the tests themselves fairly quickly, and thankfully my teachers chose to look the other way when I put my head down and proceeded to lose consciousness until the bell rang.

After finals were over and the school year ended I had no idea what to do with myself. If I stayed awake I couldn't help but think about my biological parents and what possibly could have happened that lead to me being born, so I settled for sleeping as much as possible. The downside to all of the free time I had was that I became obsessed. I sank into despair, which quickly turned to anger. I became thoroughly unstable and prone to fits of rage and depression. This put strain on everyone else, but I was too far gone to see it.

I also ended up taking multiple trips to the hospital where I was 'treated' for whatever disease Dad had made sure I was diagnosed with. The only thing that could be done about the changes was to wait them out, and so I did. The extra sleep and food (practically shoved down my throat by mom) did wonders for my physical health, if not my increasing depression. I gained back the weight I lost, and a little more in the way of muscle; the constant aching finally stopped, and my eyesight came back; for which I was profoundly thankful.

Things were not all sunshine and roses, however, with the return of my physical health also came the manifestations of my...unique biology. The first thing we all noticed was a sharp increase in sheer physical strength. I didn't get much in the way of muscle bulk, but what I had was quite powerful. Then my eyes, they finally changed from the same chocolate brown of my hair to blood red. We would have been grateful if things stopped there, so of course they didn't. Not long after my sight came back I was reading a book in my room and all of a sudden everything went black and blue will-o-wisps appeared everywhere, I just about had a heart attack. That was the first time I ever used Aura sight. It was bloody creepy then, and it's still bloody creepy now.

After that first incident it seemed like my eyes had a mind of their own, Aura sight kicked on and off with increasing frequency and seemingly for no reason. The final straw came when I was out helping Mom in the garden and in a fit of ended up throwing my leather gloves at a thorny plant I had been trying to uproot after one of its thorns managed to pierce the leather and give me a painful jab. Instead of just throwing my gloves like I intended I also threw an aura sphere. It was unstable (if no less powerful for being so) and blew a nice two foot crater into the yard. Lucia walked over after seeing that and grabbed me.

"Come on, we're going into the woods." I was, needless to say, confused.

"What? Why? I have to help cl-"

"Your abilities are out of control, I'm going to teach you how to reign them in." I couldn't argue with her logic, but as angry as I was with the world I'm afraid I wasn't very pleasant to anyone and I let that get the best of me.

"I don't want to-" Lucia's paw caught me high on the right cheek and sent me sprawling before I could do anything about it. She had never done anything like that before. Ever. We all looked at her, Mom and Dad out of shock, me out of hurt.

"You might not want to use these abilities, but you need to learn control. Now. Otherwise you will hurt yourself or someone else. Now come on, we're going." She sounded angry, not that I could really blame her. I had let my anger make me a thoroughly nasty person. She had had enough. I got up and followed her out into the woods without a word. Once we were sufficiently deep into the forest and away from any prying eyes she promptly found a clearing and pulled me into it. "First things first. Your power depends on your Aura. Aura is what humans would call life force. All living things have it, all living things need it to live. When you use Aura sight all you are really doing is feeling the aura of the living things in the area and translating it into a picture. Any questions?" She wasn't going to allow any games, or any stupid crap from me. I wasn't about to tempt fate.

"Um...how do I turn it on and off?" She paused to think for a moment.

"Will it on and off." That was helpful.

"So...just tell it to turn on?"

"If it helps, try imagining opening your eyes again after you've opened them. Try using it now." The visual aid helped, a bit, but I still wasn't able to get it to activate on command after a few minutes of staring into the woods looking like an idiot and growing more and more frustrated. Eventually she stopped me. "You can stop now, you're too frustrated to-" Right on queue it turned on. I had just turned to reply to her and ended up stumbling and falling to the ground.

"Ow." She ignored me.

"Hmm...looks like it's been activating when you get upset, that's normal. Now get up and try and walk around without your eyes open."

"I'll just fall again!" I said, trying to brush the detritus off my pants, and not succeeding.

"Without your eyes open you won't have visual overload trying to make sense of two different pictures at once, now get up and walk." I obeyed, managing to make a full circle around the clearing after ten minutes and multiple pratfalls. Nothing was as clear like this, the trees were indistinct towers of dim blue flame, and there were so many of them that almost all I could see was one big blue haze. Lucia stood out more, as did a few other pokemon in the area, but neither stood out very much.

"Stop, that's enough for now. As you practice things will get clearer. Now turn it off." I only managed this after five minutes of concentration. "Now I'll teach you about aura spheres. Sit down, this will take a while." I did so, mindful of the bruises I'd just given myself a few minutes prior.

"Can we go back to get lunch?" I was hungry, even if I had recovered my stomach was still delicate and I had taken to eating a miniscule breakfast to avoid nausea.

"No, we're not going back until you've gotten enough control over yourself to avoid damaging something." She stared me in the eye, daring me to argue, I didn't. If things came down to a physical fight she would snap me in half. "Good. Now, Aura spheres are exactly that: spheres constructed of your own Aura. They can be extremely powerful, but they are dangerous in more ways than one. They are, of course, physically destructive, but more than that they are dangerous to you. Your Aura is your life force, it is not a toy, every time you form an Aura sphere you are expending some of your own vital energy."

"So these could kill me?" I asked, horrified.

"No, not directly. But if you use enough of your Aura you will lose consciousness, which will leave you vulnerable. You can't use enough in one go to completely drain yourself and die, but using too much over a short time can weaken your health or, if you were monumentally stupid and repeatedly drove yourself into unconsciousness you could shorten your lifespan."

"How long does Aura take to...recharge?" I asked hesitantly, the more I heard about this stuff the less I wanted to use it.

"It depends. It's affected by how much you eat, how much sleep you get, if you are injured in any way and your emotional state. The more you feel the more powerful and unstable it becomes. Sound familiar?" I winced and looked away. "Good, you should be upset by that." She said Coldly. "You could have seriously hurt someone, and that is why you are going to sit in that spot until you can manifest small spheres at will. That is nowhere near the level of control you need, but it will have to do for now." I didn't think I would ever be able to look her in the eye again.

"How do I manifest them?"

"Feel your Aura and push it towards your hands, then shape it like a snowball."

We must have been there for hours, my stomach started growling ten minutes after her instructions, but she glared at me so fiercely when I looked up to ask if we could take a break that I didn't even open my mouth. I sat there, trying to 'feel my Aura' without any kind of results until I was ready to snap. While I sat there all the anger, all the despair, all the self-loathing that I had been soaking in since I found out about my parents started to simmer, then boil, and finally overflow.

"I've had enough, I can't do this!" I shouted, standing up and turning to go home. Lucia was in front of me, blocking my path in an instant.

"I didn't tell you to stop." I was too angry to care about anything anymore, I was in a blind fury.

"And I don't give a shit! I'm done!" I took a step to the side but she was in front of me, paw raised, with an aura sphere sitting lightly on it. I froze, shocked even through my rage. "What the hell?"

"If you go back without learning any kind of control you'll hurt someone, I won't let that happen. Sit. Down."

"No! I'm don-" She didn't waste any time, the next thing I knew I was flying backwards, vaguely aware that I had taken an aura sphere to the chest. Then my back hit a tree. Hard. I was back on my feet in an instant, she was had covered half the ground between us in the mean time and was showing no signs of slowing down. The next few minutes are a blur of rage and pain as she ran circles around me and beat me into the ground. The last clear memory I have was getting up for the nth time only to see her paw headed towards my face. Then everything went black.

When I woke up it was night, the stars were out and I could hear nocturnal pokemon going about their business. I managed to get to my feet, barely, only to see Lucia standing ten feet away.

"Have you decided to give up yet?" I wanted to go on fighting, but I knew it was a lost cause, she had demonstrated painfully and thoroughly just how much she outclassed me.

"Why?! What's the point? I'm obviously incapable of learning to control this!" I shouted, I had proven just how complete a failure I was, why couldn't she see it?

"You are not going back without learning control." She said, uncrossing her arms and getting ready to fight again. I screamed in frustration and slammed my fist into the tree beside me. At the last second an aura sphere gathered around my palm and all but detonated the tree. I flinched away from the blast, but I couldn't protect my hand or arm. A shard of wood the size of a chef's knife was buried in my right bicep, pierced all the way through, it hurt like I couldn't believe, but I welcomed the pain. I reached up and jerked it out, not caring about the wound, or the blood, and with the pain came a sudden epiphany. This had been where I had been headed all along. I had been consumed by self-loathing and anger, and I had been self-destructing. That's why I hadn't been eating as much, even after I wasn't really feeling sick, I had managed to make myself sick. That's why I had insisted on taking the finals when I should have rested and taken the offers of a makeup day. And I realized how I had been treating everyone around me and suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I sat where I was, head bowed, silently examining how far I'd fallen since I'd learned I was a hybrid for a few minutes before I heard Lucia approach.

"Care to say something?" There was nothing I could say to make up the way I had treated her. I was silent for a long time, what could I say?

"I've been acting like a fucking moron." I finally whispered. "I was so obsessed and selfish I neglected everything...and everyone. I fucked up." She knelt in front of me, but I couldn't look her in the eye. Not after the way I had been acting.

"Look at me." The anger was gone from her voice, but it was still stern. I did as she told me to. "You are right. You did screw up. You did become obsessed...and that is why your power was out of control." I must have looked as confused as I felt.

"Huh?"

"Remember when I told you your Aura is affected by emotion?" I nodded. "Think, how have you been feeling the past few weeks?" Arceus, I didn't need to think to answer that.

"At first I was...in denial, then I guess I got really depressed...then angry...at everything...at everyone..."

"And yourself." She added quietly. "As constantly upset as you were, there was no way you were going to be able to control yourself. Just getting Aura sight to work even sort of on command when you were like that was a miracle. You were never going to get an Aura sphere on command." She let me look away and think. All I could think about was how stupid I'd been, I couldn't help but think I deserved the wound I'd just given myself, already clotting but still painful.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I've been." I would have to do a lot to make up to her. I might not ever be able to. Her left paw gently pushed my chin up so I was looking her in the eyes.

"I forgive you." She whispered.

"B-but-"

"Adam, no one could blame you for feeling the way you did. No one. The mistake you made was trying to hide it. You started blaming yourself and acting out of that anger. You realized your mistake, now you just need to start working on fixing it." She made it sound like I had dropped something or was late to a meeting, not like I had abused our friendship the way I had.

"You...you aren't mad at me? Even after how I've been?" She shook her head.

"No, I'm not mad Adam." My cheeks were disgustingly wet as I timidly held out my good arm, half expecting to be reprimanded. She hugged me, not hesitating for a second. I hugged her as tightly as I could with only one arm. "You don't have to hide anything from me." She let me stay like that for a long time, occasionally reassuring me that she wasn't angry and that I had been forgiven. But eventually she pulled back. I saw her glancing at my arm and I figured I knew why.

"We should probably go back shouldn't we?" I asked.

"Yes, your parents are sure to be worried. We'll have to get your arm taken care of, and I'm sure you're hungry too." She said as she gave helped me to my feet, and I was suddenly ravenous.

"Lucia, I'm sorry for making you do this." I might have been forgiven, but I still owed her an apology, and more besides.

"I told you Adam, I forgive you. Now come on, let's go home." She smiled and I followed her.

It took us a while to get home, and when we did get back Mom and Dad were not happy. Almost the instant I was in the door Dad had his little medical bag out, and was cleaning off my arm while both he and mom took turns yelling at me for staying out late without telling them. They weren't angry about that though, they were worried certainly, but they were tired of my behavior, not that I could blame them, and this had been the final straw. I sat there, not saying anything until they were done.

"Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Asked mom, as dad finished cleaning off the cut with alcohol swabs.

"Yes." I said, subdued. "I've been acting like an idiot for the past few weeks. You didn't deserve that, and I've been way out of line. I'm sorry." That gave them pause.

"I believe him." Said Lucia. "He's already apologized to me." Mom and Dad looked at each other, and eventually Mom nodded.

"Okay. We forgive you Adam."

"Making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person, learning from them makes you a good one." Said Dad from his place in the chair beside me. "I'm going to have to stitch this shut, and I don't have much besides extra strength Tylenol for the pain."

"That's fine; I've more than earned it." I said, accepting the pills he handed to me and swallowing them dry.

"Don't start down that road again. That's what got you here." Said Lucia, she wasn't angry or yelling at me, for which I was very thankful. "Accept your mistakes, but don't let them rule you."

I was about to respond, but Dad started stitching. That stopped me from saying anything. I swear the stitches hurt more than getting the original wound did. By the time he was done my throat was raw from holding back shouts.

"There, done." I sagged into my chair, breathing heavily. "Now I think we should all go to bed, it's after midnight."

"Y-yeah...I need to eat something first." I said, shaky from pain and low blood sugar. Even though I hadn't eaten since technically the day before nothing looked appetizing, and pain has a wonderful way of making you a mite queasy, but I had to eat. I settled on some left over chili that I mixed with left over caesar salad. I've always had unique tastes in food. Lucia, who was currently demolishing a few bushels of pecha berries looked at the mixture and all but gagged.

"You...you can't seriously like that?" I looked at her, confused.

"Sure, why not? So what if the lettuce is a little limp? It's still crunchy enough to make a nice textural counterpoint to the chili, plus the creamy texture and flavor compliment the chili nicely. And besides, I like chili and I like caesar salad, so why wouldn't I like them both at the same time?" She just looked at me like I was insane, then she just shook her head. I grinned, this was...normal. Normal felt good. I like normal.

"Just...don't make yourself sick." She said doubtfully, then she walked over and hugged me gently, careful of my arm. "I'm going to bed; see you in a few minutes." I awkwardly wrapped my left arm around her (the one I had been eating with) and bade her goodnight. I finished the rest of my meal quickly, my exhaustion eclipsing my hunger, and followed her. She was still awake by the time I made it to my room. The house was bloody ancient and my room had a nice bathroom attached, which I really liked. I stripped out of my soiled clothes, and grabbed some sleep pants, underwear and a t-shirt before heading to the bathroom and taking a shower, not too warm lest I fall asleep in the stall...don't look at me like that, it has happened. I can sleep anywhere.

I toweled off and changed in my room, the bathroom floor was old and years of getting wet had damaged the flooring a bit. Dad had called someone in to fix it, but they hadn't come in yet and no matter how many times Dad said it was fine it still made me nervous enough to habitually change in my room. Being naked around Lucia had long since stopped being embarrassing or awkward, she was fuzzy on the whole clothing concept and never quite understood why humans wore clothes, despite my numerous attempts to explain it to her. After the fifth time she poked her head into the shower stall to ask me something, it just didn't seem as important anymore. After I donned my night clothes I crawled exhaustedly into bed, Lucia made room for me and after I settled in she pressed herself against my side, Arceus it felt nice to be like this again.

"I'm sorry Lucia." Her eyes opened and she looked at me sleepily.

"Adam, I forgive you. Nothing more needs to be said, it's in the past." She yawned. "Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Still...is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"Yes, go to sleep." She grinned and gave me an affectionate nudge on the shoulder and laid her head back on my chest. I draped my left arm over her and after I gathered up some courage I leaned down and kissed her cheek. She smiled tiredly and snuggled closer. I smiled back and closed my eyes.

The next day Lucia informed me that she would be continuing to teach me how to control my abilities, and teach me how Lucario fought. According to her it was instinctive, but I might need some help granted I had 'all that human in you, mucking things up and making you paranoid'. I chose not to comment on that, but I was a bit nervous about fighting with my arm still not recovered, it was much better than any normal human's arm would have been, but it wasn't healed.

After we ate breakfast (still not much in my case, as it turns out, chili and ceasar salad doesn't make for a nice morning after, thankfully Lucia didn't indulge her right to say 'I told you so'). Lucia led me to a different clearing, one by a stream this time and started teaching. This was totally different than the last time. First off, she didn't have me trying Aura spheres, second: she went slower and explained things more thoroughly and third: she let me rest periodically. The rest of the summer followed this pattern almost without interruption and I have to say, Lucia was a great teacher. She was patient with me, she only pushed when I really needed it and most importantly she realized that this was a very emotional subject for me she never made light of how I felt about it, and she made always pointed out what I had accomplished whenever I got discouraged or depressed. She was the best teacher I've ever had. Even more so after the last of my abilities reared its ugly head. I can't exactly remember much about the first time I used Extreme speed, just that before I used it Lucia and I had been joking around and she had taken my shoes after we had gone swimming in a small pond and I had been chasing her. Then things get real fuzzy.

As I heard the story later I activated Extreme speed while I was chasing her and ended up running face first into a tree and knocking myself unconscious. When I woke up a few minutes later I was groggy and confused. Lucia led me back to the house where Dad deduced that I had a concussion. (He asked what happened and I {or so I was told} replied: 'I'unno...go fast. Then treebark scratchy.') Bless her heart, Lucia never laughed; even though it must have been hilarious, I know Mom and Dad sure thought it was. Thankfully Extreme speed was easier to get a handle on than my other abilities; it was literally just like flipping a switch.

By the end of the summer I had mastered my abilities to the point where I wasn't a danger to myself or others, which I was happy about, now if only I could be more sanguine about going back to school.

*end flashback*

The water in the cramped shower stall was getting quite cold, I must have been in here for at least an hour. With the end of my reminiscing my despair came back like a tsunami rushing over a beach, though I wasn't as paralyzed by it now. I turned off the water and got out. I dressed lethargically and stepped out of the bathroom, preparing myself for Lucia's inevitable well-intentioned prodding. I found her sitting on the couch in the living room/dining room/kitchen of our small apartment. She looked up at me as I came out of the bathroom and was about to say something but thought better of it as I walked over to her and sat down next to her. She wrapped her arms around me worriedly, I returned the gesture, feeling a bit better as I did.

"What happened?"

"I was with Amy...things...didn't go well." Amy is...was, my girlfriend of three years. I met her not long after I entered college (at seventeen), we had met in a class and I would have thought nothing more about her after the class was over, we got along well, but I tend to obsess with my studies and I've never really enjoyed the company of people as much as I do pokemon, with a few notable exceptions. She, on the other hand, was quite interested in me and ensured that we ran into each other repeatedly. I was totally oblivious to her (in retrospect) increasingly obvious overtures, and mistook them for her just being friendly, I reciprocated the conversations she initiated and was always polite, but after a while I began thinking it was a bit creepy. Eventually she broke down and asked me out on a date point-blank. I was surprised, but accepted, not having any idea how to go about dating, but having even less of an idea how to say no. We had been together ever since, and things had gotten progressively more serious between us. We had both met each other's parents, she and Lucia got along well, and there had even been talk of marriage, the only reason I entertained that at all was the fact that she had always believed in hybrid's rights. She was a member of multiple groups supporting them, and she actually participated in the group activities instead of just signing up for the sake of saying she signed up.

I was planning to propose: I had the ring secreted away on my person, I had made reservations at a very nice restaurant that we both really liked, and we had gone on a walk to a scenic (and secluded) overlook with a terrific view of the sea near Pastoria city. There was only one problem: she didn't know I was a hybrid. I had to tell her that before I proposed, it wouldn't be fair to her to find out after she had said yes. I had agonized for days over how to tell her, Mom, Dad, and Lucia said I should just be upfront about it, but I wasn't nearly as sure as they were. I thought about it constantly as we walked. When we got to the overlook and she started talking about marriage, I knew I couldn't postpone it any longer.

*flash back*

The sea breeze was gently caressing the sweat on my face and hands, chilly but welcome. I could smell the salt from the sea and the rain on the storm not far off. I turned to look at Amy, dazzling in a simple but elegant black skirt and white blouse, she had never been one for overly fancy clothes, something I appreciated. Her light brown hair falling over her shoulders beautifully, she was beaming at me as we stood at the overlook, watching the sea. I belatedly realized she was talking to me.

"Adam? Are you with me? You've seemed a little distracted tonight, what's up?" This was it, the moment of truth. I took a deep breath and turned to face her.

"Amy...I love you, we've been together three years now and you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with." She had seen this coming, but didn't look any less happy for it. Now I really felt sick. "But...before we commit to that...you need to know something." She was confused now.

"Adam, what are you talking about?" My heart was beating faster than I ever thought possible. My vision honed to crystal clarity, the world seemed to slow down. There was nothing for it now. I reached up and pulled out the color contacts that disguised my eyes and looked at her. She gasped when my she saw my sanguine eyes.

"Amy...I...I'm a hybrid." She was stunned. Frozen in a state of shock. Silence reigned as I tried to think of something to say, she beat me to it.

"You...Arceus, your eyes." She was scared, no no no!

"Amy, I'm not any different than-" Her right hand caught me across the cheek, silencing me.

"S-stay back!" She was backing away frantically.

"Amy, I-" I took one step forward and she screamed and ran.

I stood there with my arm half outstretched for a few moments before fear kicked in. She was hysterical, there was no telling what she would do. If she told the police I had assaulted her I would end up in jail, no judge in the world would take my side. I hastily put the color contacts back in and activated my Aura sight. She was running through the woods near the point, a stupid idea, especially at night. At least she wasn't heading towards town and the police. I ran after her, hanging back far enough that she wouldn't notice me. Eventually her course bisected a bike path and she slowed down, following it for a few minutes until she found a bench. She collapsed into it and started crying. I waited, hidden off the trail and out of earshot. I didn't want to hear her as well as see her, hunched over with her face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. To my sight her aura was dark and oily, she was miserable. And I had caused it. I waited until the crying stopped before cautiously approaching, deliberately making enough noise to announce my presence before she saw me. When I did appear she winced and moved back a little, but she didn't run. I stopped where I was and waited for her to say something. It took a while, but she eventually spoke up.

"You...you never told me."

"I've been keeping it secret for years." She looked up at me.

"Did you not trust me?" She might as well have stabbed me in the heart.

"I told you tonight because...because I made up my mind that you were the one." She looked down and didn't respond for a long time. After what seemed like years she finally spoke.

"I...I don't think...I don't think I can be with someone who would keep secrets from me." That came almost like a physical blow. I hadn't had a choice! "And...and even if I could...you're a hybrid. If anyone ever found out..." I was suddenly too tired to point out that she had always supported hybrid equality. I just didn't want to do this anymore. I just wanted to curl up in some dark corner and stay there. Maybe forever.

"I understand." I said tonelessly. We stayed where we were for a few moments, but she eventually got up.

"I-I won't tell anyone. But we can't...we can't see each other anymore I'll tell my parents...something... I'm sorry." She left, walking the wrong way to get back to town. For a second I debated letting her take the long way back, but if I gave her any reason to expose me she might do it.

"Town is the other way." I said, just loud enough for her to hear. She froze for a second, and then kept walking in the same direction she had been. Fine, have fun walking an extra ten miles in the dark. I turned my back to her and set off through the woods.

*end flashback*

"Adam..."

"I know." Silence.

"She was wrong." I laughed bitterly at that.

"No, she was right. I kept a secret from her, what else am I hiding?" I said, sarcasm infusing my voice, getting up and pacing for a few steps before the anger died away and grief took its place.

"She should have accepted it! You proved that you are a good person, this just proves that she is weak!" Lucia snarled.

I jumped, I didn't expect Lucia to be so angry, but she was practically foaming at the mouth. "If she can't accept you for who and what you are after getting to know you for three years!" Words failed her, and she growled fiercely. I was shocked to see her like this. I had never seen her this angry before.

"Lucia!" She jerked and buried her muzzle in a paw, breathing heavily.

"I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten like that." She suddenly turned and hugged me, squeezing painfully tight. "But that still doesn't excuse her." I hugged her back, wincing as I did.

"It's alright Lucia...come on, let's go to bed." She nodded and followed me to my room, helping me put new bedding on the bed. The apartment was a two bedroom, and the other one was hers, but occasionally we still slept in the same bed, a habit we didn't really try to break, we both knew we should, but right now I didn't care, I just wanted to know she was there next to me. Maybe then I could sleep. We crawled in bed together and she cuddled up against me, like so many times before. Neither of us was able to get to sleep, and we just laid there, silently, for a long time.

"She had no reason to do what she did." Lucia wasn't ready to let this go apparently. "You would be a fine mate."

"I can't blame her for-" Lucia suddenly rolled on top of me, pinning my arms with hers and pressing her lips against mine. My eyes flew open wide, unable to believe this. After a long time she pulled back.

"You may not blame her, but I do." Her voice was thick with emotion, and she hadn't moved her arms. "You are a great male, you would make a wonderful mate...I saw that a long time ago." She sounded like she was going to continue, but trailed off. Slowly, I realized what she was saying.

"Lucia..." She overrode me, now that the floodgates were opened, they couldn't be closed so easily.

"You were always gentle, kind, even after finding out you were a hybrid. You had some trouble at first, but who wouldn't? You put your friends before yourself, and you make me feel safe, like nothing could ever hurt me when you're close by. It was horrible, watching you get close to her. I wanted to be happy for you, but I couldn't. I wanted to beat her until she stopped moving, but you were so happy. I...I couldn't do that to you." She was rambling, not even looking me in the eyes, just venting everything she had felt. I eventually found my voice again and spoke up.

"Lucia...I...I can't do this now. I'm sorry, but it's too soon. If we do something we regret later..." She winced.

"I know. I know!" She sniffed. "I...I've just been holding this back for so long that I needed to say it. I needed to tell you. I know it's too soon and I know how you must feel about this kind of relationship but...Adam, I love you." Her voice was tiny at the end. She was in just as much emotional turmoil as I was, I realized, she had watched the one she loved with someone else for years, unable to do anything but smile and encourage it. It must have killed her inside.

After I found out I was a hybrid I never thought I'd be able to marry, because what woman worth marrying would be willing to marry a hybrid? None. When Amy came along, it was too good to be true. I didn't want to look a gift ponyta in the mouth, but I had gotten burned anyway. Lucia must have felt the same way as I had, caged. Trapped by unfair circumstances and left to slowly decay inside. That must have been awful. I could see the emotion on her face, and now that I looked back I could see it. Each time I had been with Amy must have been a stab in Lucia's heart.

Suddenly I found myself not caring about Amy as much. She had spurned me after three years of a great relationship. I had always been a gentleman, always complimented her, always pulled out chairs and opened doors. I had never pushed for sex, we had held hands, hugged, and rarely kissed. She had always said, time and again, that hybrids deserved equality, and in the end she dropped me because I was a hybrid.

Lucia was still hovering over me, unsure of what I would say. "Lucia...you've always been there for me when I've needed you. You've supported me, helped me, stopped me from making mistakes...you would be the best mate anyone could ever have." Tears were falling down her cheeks now. She shifted when I tried to move my arms, moving her paws. I reached up and cupped her cheeks in my hands, brushing away tears. Then I pulled her muzzle slowly down until it was pressed against my lips in a kiss. We luxuriated in the kiss until we were forced to break apart for air. After we had caught our breaths Lucia moved in again and we repeated the whole thing. Things got intense very quickly and before either of us knew it she was laying on top of me.

"Adam...if we keep going..." She said, breathing heavily. We both were. "If we keep going...we might..."

"I know." I said, pulling her down again. She didn't resist. She clung to me, pressing the length of her body against mine. My arms were wrapped around her, one on her lower back, and one between her shoulder blades. After another kiss she spoke again.

"Are you sure...you're okay...with this?" She said between gasps. I was not in any shape to think about this, I was in a very good shape to act though. Instead of replying verbally I gently rested my left hand on her cheek and slowly trailed it down her body. She closed her eyes and wallowed in the feeling, I repeated the motion, gradually making my way to more...sensitive areas. Just about the time my hands were reaching her chest her paws maneuvered their way under my shirt and began pulling. A few seconds later the only clothes left were my underwear. Lucia was much more primal than I had ever seen her. The release of the emotional turmoil she'd been living with for three years and the acceptance of the one she loved combining to strip her of any sense of inhibition she had. She was looking at me so intensely I was surprised I didn't ignite, and she was straddling me, grinding herself against my erection through the cloth of my underwear.

I reached down and pulled them off, Lucia helped me very eagerly. Now she was grinding herself directly against me, I moaned. I couldn't help it. She grinned and continued the grinding, her grin getting bigger each time I vocally expressed my pleasure. I wasn't going to last. I knew that much. I reached up and took hold of her sides, pulling her down to the bed. She went along with it, lying down and spreading her legs to give me access. I awkwardly rolled on top, careful not to crush her or hurt myself on her small chest spike. She was smiling widely now, squirming eagerly.

I slowly began thrusting, trying to find her entrance. It took me a while, and I had to move slightly, but I found it. She arched her back, moving her hips up and presenting me with complete access to her warm body. I pushed myself into her slowly, stretching her body and eventually I felt her hymen give way, we both moaned as it did. I held her as close as I could and kissed her cheek, letting her adjust to me. She felt soft and slick, better than I ever could have imagined. After a few moments of rest I pushed in a little further, then a little further still. After I hilted myself I stopped and simply luxuriated in my first penetration, Lucia wasn't as patient. She began moving her hips awkwardly, just as ignorant of what to do as I was. I resumed my thrusting gladly. Soon I felt something growing in my loins and I peaked before I could tell her. I moaned explosively as I finished, ejaculating inside her. I stopped, gasping to regain my breath. Lucia looked frustrated, I couldn't blame her. Thinking quickly, I fought through the surge of drowsiness that washed over me and pulled out; laying on my side beside her. She was about to move, but I stopped her and lowered my hand to her entrance, fingering it lightly, using some escaped semen as lubricant. This silenced any objections she had and I continued fumbling around, trying to note what made her moan and repeating it.

"Tell me what feels good." I said as I softly played with the outer folds of her labia, enjoying her reaction.

"Oh...that's terrific, don't stop." That felt really nice to hear. In fact...that was making me hard again. I moved my other hand down to my slowly hardening shaft and began helping myself along; it didn't take much to get myself fully ready again. I smiled and moved on top again, she looked at me surprised, but moaned ecstatically as I rubbed the head of my penis against her folds. She leaned up and whispered in my ear, as if she was afraid our neighbors could hear. "I love you Adam...please keep going." I nuzzled her and granted her wish, entering her again, slowly. This penetration was easier; my semen was providing more lubrication this time around. We were both awkward, and it was more than a little fumbling, but we loved every second of it. Lucia held my gaze and beamed at me the whole time, her arms wrapped around me. I tried to make it good for her, listening to her moans and trying to figure out and copy what I had done to cause them, but all too quickly I felt a familiar sensation building again.

"L-Lucia. I'm gonna-" That was as far as I made it. I finished again. We both stopped moving, gulping air rapidly. I pulled my softening penis out of her and resumed playing with her folds. Bound and determined to give her an orgasm. She moaned and started thrusting her hips rhythmically against my hand, it took us a while but eventually we reached our goal. Her moans built to a crescendo despite all she could do to silence them, I kissed her, muting the sound. Her movements became erratic and I felt her walls contracting on the finger I had inserted inside her. I kept rubbing until she sagged onto the bed, then I carefully removed my finger and gathered her close to me. She snuggled against me happily, but this was different than the hundreds of times we had done this before, we were closer now. It was glorious.

She looked at me tiredly, with a few tears falling down her cheeks. I brushed them away with the back of my hand. She smiled and nuzzled me damply.

"I love you." She said, her voice thick with impending sleep and emotion. I nuzzled her back.

"I love you too. Good night." I said, fighting off a yawn. Lucia wasn't able to suppress hers, and instead she nuzzled the crook of my neck and settled down to sleep. I wrapped my arms around her and followed her example, happier than I thought possible.