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My hands always seemed to have a life of their own whenever I was in bed... Usually at night... Sometimes in the morning... Or sometimes even when I was visiting the little girls room... It's like making love to yourself... It's like they know where to go... Fingering myself always felt so great whenever I closed my eyes and thought of someone special... Fantasies that are locked away in my mind during the day are roaming free at night... Someone who's untouchable becomes touchable... Taboo's don't seem to exist in your fantasies... Everything is permitted with everyone... So I often found myself in bed, drifting off to my own little fantasy world where everything and everyone is perfect... A little piece of heaven of my own... Some of my fantasies are pretty twisted, I admit... But that's why their called fantasies...

Simon was always a handsome male to witness, especially for his age. He's big, muscled, is very sweet and caring and he always made me laugh. Always knew the right things to say to cheer me up when things were looking down. And I think I felt kind of attracted to him in some way. But there was one problem... He's thirty years older than me... That wouldn't be so much of a problem if he wasn't my adoptive father... Then again, I never considered Simon and Catherine as "my parents" at that age... All of these thoughts ran through my head when I was in bed... All alone, with the bedroom door closed... Simon used to come in my room when I was little... At night, where he told me a bedtime story... In the morning, to help me get dressed... But that all came to an end when I reached puberty, thinking I valued my privacy... Of course I valued my privacy; I sleep naked most of the times... But what would happen if he came in my room and saw me like that...? What would happen if he saw me "spending quality time with myself"...? I once got busted by Catherine while I was masturbating... But I often wished it was Simon who caught me playing with myself instead... If he did, I would've had the answers to these questions... But speculating about it can be a wonderful thing, as I often found out... So I did... I closed my eyes and slowly let my hand slip down between my legs as the other one firmly squeezed my breast... Teasing myself by rubbing my clitoris and nipple gently... And just when I was about to finger myself, I got snapped out of it by a loud thud... "It came from the hallway..." Afraid of getting busted, I decided to check it out... So I quickly slipped into my nightie that came down to my thighs, showing a lot of cleavage from my breasts... No need to put on any panties when no is able to see it... When I opened the door, I noticed the bathroom door was open... And Simon, grabbing a towel... And just before he used the towel to cover himself up, I saw his cock... He didn't noticed me when he walked out of the bathroom to his own bedroom but I was kind of shocked... And kind of curious... When I saw he closed the door of his bedroom, I sneaked as quietly as I could to the door and peeked through the keyhole... He took off his towel and I saw his sweet ass while his cock was dangling between his legs... "My God, he's well-hung..." Simon scratched his soft fuzzy balls but then he turned around to put on his boxershorts... And then he got down on bed and closed his eyes while I kept watching him through the keyhole... I had to come up with a good excuse to enter his room... It wasn't so difficult to come up with one... So I opened the door of his bedroom and when I did, I noticed he was peeking at me... 'Hey, good morning, sweetheart...' 'Good morning, Simon...' 'Had a good night sleep?' 'O-Oh yes, most definitely... Say, uh... I-I'm out of deodorant... Do you know where Catherine keeps hers so that I can borrow it for a moment...?' 'On the wardrobe, near the mirror.' 'Ah! Silly me, I should've seen it...'

So I walked up to the wardrobe and got hold of the bottle of deodorant Catherine always wears... And I could see in the mirror that Simon was watching my every move... Maybe he was looking at my ass that was peeking out a little from under my nightie... Maybe he already saw it... So I looked at him and smiled nervously... When he smiled back at me, it made me giggle on the inside like a little schoolgirl... Blushing is something I rarely do, but when I looked back at the mirror, I saw my cheeks were turning very red... 'I've never seen you blush before...' 'Well, uh... I-I, uh...' 'You look great... C'mere, gimme a hug, sweetheart...'

So I placed the bottle of deodorant down on the wardrobe again and slowly walked towards him while Simon watched my every move... The closer I got to him, the more aroused I started to feel for no apparent reason... I got on top of him and rested my head on his chest, gently caressing his chest fluff while he was gently scratching my ear... 'You used to purr on my lap like this when you were little...' 'I've matured quite nicely over the years, haven't I...?' 'Definitely...' 'Hihi...' 'We never get to do anything fun nowadays, Ceylan...' 'I can name a few things if you like, Simon... I got lots of fun things in mind for us to do...'

Being on top of him made me feel quite comfortable, to say the least... My cunt was still dripping wet from playing with myself... I felt the soft fabric of his boxershorts against my vagina when I moved down a little... Feeling how his cock was swelling up underneath me only added to my pleasures... I couldn't help myself to ride him slowly after that... It only made me want more... And then all of a sudden, he lifted my nightie up and firmly grabbed my ass... 'You've matured quite nicely indeed... I'm so proud of you, sweetheart... How about those sweet little titties of yours, did they mature as nicely as your ass did...?' 'I'll let you be the judge of that... See for yourself...'

I took off my nightie to expose my entire body for him to admire... Grabbing my own titties and squeezed them in front of him... His cock only seemed to swell between my legs when he buried his face between my titties... Licking and sucking my nipples... It felt as if he was worshipping me... And I liked that... I liked that a lot... 'Do you like what you see...?' 'Very much so...'

I got off of him and pulled down his boxershorts where his cock flopped out from in an erect state... And I got down on my back on his bed, being the good submissive little kitten that I was, with my legs spread high up in the air... I figured he wanted to bone me so bad, that I decided to stop teasing him... 'Fuck me, Simon... Fuck me before Catherine comes home...' 'No need to rush, my sweet... She's gone for the weekend... Besides, you know very well I'm gonna enjoy your tight pussy... I've waited so long for this...' 'Good things come to those who wait, Simon...' 'Tell me, have you been a good lil' kitten...?' 'You know me... I can be naughty sometimes...' 'Show me how naughty you can be then...'

At first, I didn't really understand what he meant... But the moment he was kneeling in front of me and his erection touched my chin, I got the hint... So I opened my mouth just a little while he gently placed the tip of his penis on my lips... And I didn't really know what I felt at that moment... It's like getting aroused, only better... 'I never did this before, you know...' 'You'll learn to love it... Open wide, sweetheart...'

So I opened my mouth while he gently pushed his cock inside... Simon held the back of my head and I gently started to bop my forward and backwards, going a little deeper each time I did... I had to be careful not to hurt him with my teeth... And like Simon said, you'll learn to love it... I closed my eyes and pretended to suck on a lollipop... It wasn't so bad as I always thought it would be... On the contrary, I loved it... His cock tasted like chocolate... Simon didn't dip his cock in chocolate sandwich spread nor was he wearing a chocolate flavoured condom so I wasn't so sure why it tasted it like that... But honestly, who'd give a shit... It was great and that was all I needed... Even though getting gently skull fucked by my adoptive father was great, it didn't do much to satisfy that burning desire of getting nailed in the pussy... The moment he noticed I wanted to touch myself, Simon got hold of my hands while his pelvis kept thrusting his cock in my mouth... Needless to say, it was driving me wild... Every now and then, he pulled out so that I could breathe while I panted my lungs out... Each and every time he did, I begged him to fuck me gently... But it seemed that the more I asked and begged him, the more he seemed to enjoy himself, seeing me being so dependant and vulnerable... I'd suck his cock for as long as he liked, that I admit... But I figured that was something I could do that after he satisfied that burning need of getting nailed in the pussy... I began to realize that begging for it wasn't gonna work... But at some point, it really drove me insane... I licked his balls and the shaft of his penis, gently biting it... And I figured that Simon wasn't the only one who's good at teasing... So I only sucked the tip of his cock and took it all the way down every once in a while... Getting a deepthroat during my very first blowjob was quite the challenge, but very satisfying for the both of us... And all of a sudden, he came... I sucked the cum out of him which tasted a bit like, you guessed it, chocolate... He literally blew his load in my throat while I had trouble to swallow it all like a good girl... After all, every little kitten enjoys their milk... Catherine always told me not to play with food while Simon told me to play with it... And when he pulled out, he squirted cum all over my muzzle... And after he was done, he rested his head on my shoulder while I could feel his heart pounding through his chest... 'Heh... You're a fast learner, kitten...' 'Would you...?' 'Hehe...' 'P-Please...? I did what you asked me to do...' 'Well alright, then... Since you asked so nicely...'

He positioned himself between my legs and placed my feet over his shoulders... All I had to do was to keep still and everything would be alright... He gently rubbed his cock over my wet pussy lips as his thumb caressed my clitoris... I closed my eyes, knowing a dominant male was going to take good care of me... Disobedience is not tolerated and seeing that I'm lower in the hierarchy than Simon, it was best not to question it... I believed a male like Simon has pleased many women in his life, so he knew what he was doing... He showed his love for his adoptive daughter by doing this... Driven insane by lust and the instinct to mate with a male... I can't say how relieved I was when he finally decided to penetrate me... It was a tight squeeze, yes, but that quickly loosened up when he slowly went in and out... It didn't hurt at all... He whispered in my ear that he wanted to fuck me ever since I was nine years old... I wished he did, now more than ever... He whispered that my sweet young pussy lips felt so tight around his cock and that he never had a girl or a woman so tight in his entire life, as he gently went in and out, going a little deeper each time he did... But of course, a good looking girl like me is bound to get fucked hard when someone gets the chance... And the same happened with Simon... He spread my legs as wide as possible and pushed them back so that his cock could go all the way down... The humping started slowly but quickly went faster and faster... And all I could do was to let him know of how much I enjoyed getting nailed hard was by moaning out loud... He fucked me so hard, the bed started to hit the wall constantly while he tried to get his cock in my moistly cunt as deep as possible... He kept caressing my clitoris throughout the intercourse and reached my climax multiple times... Orgasm after orgasm... With every climax I reached, I moaned out loud in pleasure... His face came closer and his scent was so irresistible... Getting fucked by a dominant male was a privilege... I felt honoured that he chose me to mate him... And as he was boning my tight little pussy so hard, he rested his head on my shoulder... 'Ceylan...?' 'Yes, Simon...?' 'Ceylan...!' 'Yes?' 'Ceylan!' 'What?!'

And at that point, I opened my eyes and found myself in bed with Simon standing next to me... 'Hey! Get up! It's half passed eight! You're gonna be late for school!' 'Half passed eight?! Shit!!'

Something strange happened to me several days after my eighteenth birthday. For some reason, I kept thinking about Blain and now I was also thinking about Simon... The idea of having sex with a male was something I never really felt comfortable with but for the last few days, it felt as if I needed it, while the urge grew with each day that passed by... I quickly flipped the pages of my biology book the day before which confirmed my suspicions. All the symptoms were there... My vagina felt moistly and slick and it felt very sensitive... More than it usually does... At times, it felt as if a feather was tickling me on the inside... To feel the urge to bend over in high school and patiently wait until a guy shoves it up your cunt... Of course, I didn't do that but uh... Can you imagine how difficult it is? And so, I found out I had my very first heat period... Some girls start out on a relatively young age, around fourteen years old and some are later, like me. It's nothing abnormal considering there are cases known of women who reach their heat period well in their mid twenties... Being in heat is something we inherited from prehistoric times. It's an instinct to reproduce... And I can tell you, it can be quite uncomfortable... Correction, it IS quite uncomfortable, especially with all the values of a modern society... You don't expect a woman butt naked on the street with her ass in the air so that every male that passes by can have a go with her... Of course it happens, but not in the streets like that... I didn't like it at all... Feeling the need to fuck a male every minute of the day was driving me insane, really... And of course, I wasn't the only girl with these kind of difficulties. Sexuality is something that needs to be explored for yourself to find out what you really like. Most girls of my age had a boyfriend and studies shown that eighty nine percent of females experiencing their first heat period are deflowered... Some by their boyfriends... Some by their dad's or brothers... Some get raped, or whatever... A female in heat doesn't go by unnoticed, you know, which explains it... The guys in high school were looking at me whenever I passed by, which is of course, also quite uncomfortable, knowing they only have one thing in mind for you... I didn't have a boyfriend at the time who could satisfy my needs... So I did the next best thing to try to keep those urges at a minimum... I masturbated... A lot, to say the least...

Two weeks passed by ever since my birthday party... What happened between Blain and me that night was awkward but I didn't regret it and neither did he. I know it was a wrong thing to do, seeing as he still had his girlfriend but I wasn't thinking about her. It happened, just like that. And ever since then...? Samantha and I were still seeing each other regularly, mostly during the weekends and well, let's just say that Blain and I had our own "get togethers" every once in a while...

But even that wasn't enough for me... Sometimes, whenever I spend the night with Samantha, I thought about Blain... And whenever I was with Blain, I started to think about Sam... I realized that I was missing something and I didn't know what it was. Being with either one of them felt great and all but... I missed Blain whenever I wasn't with him and I missed Samantha whenever she wasn't there... It didn't felt as if someone could compensate one another... I always had a lot of fun whenever I was with Sam and Blain was always so sweet to me... Everything is not based on sex but sometimes, it felt as if everything was... It was just an experience to be each other's lovers... To do things what normal couples of my age did... Both of them knew I was taking this very seriously even though they didn't... They both knew what I wanted; just someone of my own to love... And I was loved by them, just not exactly in the way I always imagined it... Because in the end, I always realized that the two of them were just my friends I happened to have sex with... I loved them very much, I still do... But the longer we continued seeing each other, the more miserable I started to feel... It wasn't Sam's or Blain's fault... There was just something missing... Something real... . Something that I just couldn't place... Still... They made me happy whenever I was spending time with them... And I guess that's all that mattered...

Ever since the day that Samantha met Blain at my birthday-party, I asked Blain to come with us whenever Sam and I were hanging out... At first, it was rather awkward because they both knew I had sex with the both of them... Nevertheless, we talked a lot about it and things just seemed to be okay with them. Sometimes I couldn't help but to wonder if the two of them were actually jealous of one another... But it's something the both of them chose for when his whole thing started and they knew what they were getting themselves into... But nevertheless, things turned out well in the end for all of us. I can't tell you how happy I was whenever the three of us were spending time together... For the first time in my life, I felt that I was part of something... A part of something that I build up... The three of us were inseparable as friends... But that's the thing... As friends... As my lovers...? It didn't felt right anymore... Switching between mates whenever you like... As if neither of them were able to... And I realized that this wasn't the kind of relationship I was looking for... It's great and all but I was looking for that special someone... I always thought to myself that love is blind, which is why I didn't found her yet... But things are over before you realize... Thinking that the things that don't make you happy does, in fact, make you happy.... You don't realize what you're missing until it's not there anymore...

Before I knew, the three of us graduated and after the summer holidays, the three of us went our separate ways... Sam was going to the University of Stenden to study psychology and the day she told me that she got accepted was hard to swallow... Samantha was so happy that day and I've never seen her so happy in her life before... Of course I wanted her to be happy, even though it would mean that she'd moved away and would spend most of her time on the campus... Either studying, partying or... Well... You know... The thought of her being with someone else and out of my reach was something that drove me insane, really... I didn't want her to go but what was I supposed to do...? Samantha saw I had a hard time with it... And I expected her to give up her education so that she could be with me... That didn't go too well with her and I was being a cunt again... We had several fights about it and I was always the one who started it... I know I was wrong for thinking like that... But from past experiences, I've learned that the people you care for the most are also the ones who hurt you the most... I've learned that once they move away, they'll forget that you ever existed... And even though Sam always told me that she would call me at least once a week, I was still skeptic about it... I actually cried the day she moved away...

Blain also moved away, but I was still seeing him sometimes... He joined the National Armed Forces, like he said he would. He'd spend the week at Fort Bocale military base and came back during the weekends... Even though he came back, it wasn't always possible for us to hang out... The guy had his own life to live, his own family and relatives to take care of and his own friends to see... Not to mention his girlfriend... We'd spend as much time together as we could once Samantha moved away... But that same feeling always came back... It just wasn't the same... There was just something missing again...

I started the semester at Antonelli College where I started on MBO two as "IT assistant." Those two years I spend in college wasn't really exciting seeing as I already knew most things... It was actually boring, to say the least... Seriously, I had to examine a PC with a malfunction once and it didn't boot up. Once I opened the case, I noticed immediately that the flat-cable was cut... You'd probably guess how retarded and redundant the whole thing was to me... Nevertheless, I just did what I had to do and interacted a bit with my classmates, who consisted entirely out of boys and I was the only girl there, which was kind of awkward... Still, it had its fun moments but telling you about those two years is kind of redundant, really. It's school, it sucks, need to know more...? I'll tell you all about it when I started year three as Management IT, which was way more fun and more challenging... It's also the time I first met Nikki, but I'll get to that... Also, a lot of classmates were either nerds or complete douchebags... Not my kind of people, to say the least...

So yeah... Days turned into weeks... Weeks turned into months... I passed the first year in college and made it through while Samantha always kept her promise... She always called me at least once a week to talk... Every time she called me, we talked for hours and my phone bill was at its highest peak in that period of my life... Still, it just wasn't the same anymore now that wasn't with me... Slowly but steady, I started to accept the things the way they were even though that was very difficult sometimes... I still had Blain whenever he wasn't on trainings missions in other countries... His life was so much more thrilling than mine was at the time... And then something happened I never expected...

I normally don't follow the news... But this was too much of a media hype not to notice... For days, newspapers, radio's and tv's broadcasted the news that shocked the entire world... On the fifteenth of September, two thousand and six, the Ajiraimian president Cherenkov was assassinated... Several days later, tanks and infantry troops of Sercia came knocking at the borders of Ajiraimas... It's kind of suspicious that it happened so soon after the assassination, so the whole world started to believe that Sercia had something to do with it. There are literally hundreds of conspiracy theories about how it all happened but it doesn't really matter. Fact was that Sercia declared war to Ajiraimas to claim back territory that once belonged to them. On the first day, more then sixty thousand people lost their lives during the bombing of the Ajiraimian capital of Vladigorsktoc. Slowly but steady, more and more countries got involved in that terrible conflict, including ours, Renaria... With the help of the international community, they managed to fight Sercia on their own grounds. One thing was certain: the ultranationalists weren't going down without a fight... They were fighting for something they believed in, inspired by a man with delusional ideals... And so, the war in Sercia was going down in history as the second most destructive war ever recorded by men... The day that Blain told me, completely turned my world up side down... And I remember that day all too well...

He was very quiet that day... Unusually quiet... He wasn't paying attention to pretty much anything and whenever he talked, he mumbled very quietly... And at some point, I was alone with him in his room, to talk... I couldn't believe it at first when he first told me... 'Wait, what?' 'We're being shipped out...' 'What, you mean, like your going on exercise again? You've been shipped out to dozens of exotic locations. I'm a little envious of you. Sometimes I just-' 'No, you don't understand... We're being shipped out to Sercia...' 'No...' 'Yes...' 'Just like that, or...?' 'We've been preparing ourselves for half a year now. I wanted to tell you sooner but...' 'No, but... I don't want you to go! I mean, it's dangerous! People get killed out there!' 'I know, but someone has to keep the Challengers rolling.' 'No! I'm dead serious! I don't want you to go! Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?!' 'And then what? It's not like you can change anything about it. Besides, we're trained for this. I know we can do this.' 'We?! Who's we?! Speak for yourself, Blain, and for yourself only! You have no idea what is waiting out there!!' 'It's only for six months! What's the big deal?!' 'For fucks sakes, Blain!! Did you forget the things I told you?! I know you have a knack for excitement and adventure but this isn't what you think it's gonna be!!' 'I know and I'm scared, of course I am... But I'm not alone, Ceylan...' 'Well, I was!! I've BEEN in a war, Blain!! Don't act as if I don't know what I'm talking about! It doesn't matter whether you're alone or not...! Because you're the one who has to deal with it in the end...'

Blain didn't understand what I meant with that back then. It was inevitable that he was going to experience horrible and gruesome things... Things I've been through... Things I didn't want him to see... Things that I didn't want him to experience... No one goes off to war to have a jolly good time... The way he talked about it made me think that he considered it as some kind of a holiday or something and that was pissing me off... Especially when he thought I was overreacting... 'Ceylan, you don't have to worry about me. We're well trained and well equipped. And of course, there's always a risk but that's what we're trained for.' 'Don't you have anything to say about it?! Are you really that keen on going off to war?!' 'You think I want to go?! You think I'd rather be in some godforsaken shithole than to be home with my family and friends?! No!! But I have to go even though I'm scared shitless for the things that might happen!! I don't need you to remind me that bad things can happen out there, Ceylan!! So stop treating me like a goddamn baby!!'

Blain and I are good friends for as long as I know him... And I always watched over him, ever since we were little... But that night, he became pissed at me for a change... The idea that I couldn't change anything was hard to swallow... But he was right; I had to let go of him... I thought that someone else had to take his place so that he could stay home with his family... With his friends... With me... I didn't want him to get hurt... But it wasn't the idea of him getting hurt that scared me but the things he would see and hear... It never lets go of you, it'll always stay with you... So I stayed quiet after that... He let out a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment... 'When...?' 'Hm...?' 'When are you leaving...?' 'In four weeks from now...' 'I see...' 'Look... You've always been watching my back ever since we were little, Ceylan... I've got a lot of people watching my back now...' 'I know... It's just...' 'I know... It'll be alright... Trust me...'

I nodded slowly when I wasn't looking at him... But something just told me that it wouldn't be alright... Whenever I told him about the war, I could see in his eyes that he tried to imagine it and to feel what it must've been like... Something just told me that he never understood... Something just told me that when he came back, he would know what its like to be me... But like most things, I wasn't able to change things and I had to accept it, no matter how difficult it was...

Those four weeks seemed to go way too fast... The last Saturday before his departure, his family arranged a farewell party with his friends and relatives. Blain's mom Maria asked if I wanted to come and of course, I just had to be there. Blain had really mixed feelings that day... He didn't know whether to be sad or happy... But nevertheless, it did him good to see so many people supporting him. The only people I was interacting with was Blain and his parents... Surely, it was fun but I couldn't help but to feel strange about everything. As if something was about to happen... While I was taking a sip from my drink, I heard a deep baritone voice behind me... 'Hey! You must be Blain's girl! He told me so much about you!'

When I turned around, I noticed a grey husky guy standing behind me who had the most beautiful light blue eyes I've ever seen... I know what you're thinking but trust me; it wasn't love at first sight... On the contrary... I frowned at him as if he was the biggest retard I've ever seen... Then again, I wasn't really used to people who tried to approach me... 'Well, if he told you so much about me, you would know that his girlfriend's name is Rachel and she's not a tigress...'

There was a small moment of an awkward silence and I could hear him thinking "Ffffffffuck...". I couldn't help but to smile a little when I saw his face... But then he quickly recovered... 'So who is this tigress girl you are referring to?' 'A good friend of Blain.' 'Does she have a name or should I call her tigress?' 'Nunya.' 'Nunya?' 'Hm-mm. Nunya damn business.'

"Haha, good one... Look at his face..." The poor guy looked a little uneasy and had a lot of trouble not to look as if my sarcastic comments had any effect on him... I actually can't believe how much of a cunt I was to people back then... But a short moment later, Blain came to us instead... 'Listen, we're going to O'Malley's, you guys are coming along, right?!' 'Yeah, I'm in!' 'Ceylan?' I looked at the husky guy and he had a satisfied grin on his face for knowing my name now... 'Yeah sure, I'm in as well...' 'Sweet!' And with that, Blain left us again... 'That's a pretty name you have.' 'Psh, it's just a name...' 'I'm not gonna tell you my real name because you'd be laughing if you heard it.' 'So... Does the husky have a name as well or should I just call you husky?' 'Terrry would do just fine.' He said with a smile...

Several moments later, we all made our way to O'Malley's pub. On the way, I wasn't talking to anyone, not even to Blain and once we got there, I took a seat and watched other people while listening to the music. Everyone else seemed to have a good time while I was just watching them from the bar. And all of a sudden, some guy I didn't know sat next to me and started to talk to me... And I was like: "What the fuck are you on about?" He offered me a drink and I was really annoyed by him but tried to stay calm and patient so I turned his offer down... And just when I couldn't stand him anymore, I heard a familiar voice behind me... 'Ah! There you are, sweetheart! I brought you your drink!'

"Sweetheart...? Who the hell does he think he's talking to?!" When I looked behind me, I saw Terry standing there, holding two cocktails, having a big innocent grin on his face looking at the guy who sat next to me... It wasn't until then the guy took the hint so he took his glass and walked off... And then Terry sat next to me while he kept having that smile on his face as he placed the cocktail in front of me... When he wasn't looking, I quickly splashed the drink in the planter next to me, seeing as I didn't trust it that he brought me a drink out of the blue... 'Figured you could use some help with that guy.' 'Yeah, thanks for that... I owe you one...' 'Don't mention it. You're so beautiful that you totally made him forget his pickup line.' 'Hehehe... Well, I, uh...' 'You know, you talk with a little accent. Where you're from anyway?' Well, I was born in Salahadihn. Aaaaaaaaaaand... Then I came here when I was nine years old.' 'You managed to pick up the language pretty well.' 'Haha, well, you had no idea how difficult it was... Sometimes I still don't really know how to express myself in words...' 'You've been quite comprehensible so far.' 'Hehe...' 'So are you working full-time or you going to college or...?' 'It's my second year at Antonelli College...' 'Really? How come I've never seen you around?' 'You're at Antonelli as well?' 'Yeah, I'm doing Finance and Administration.' 'You do...?' 'Yup...' 'What made you choose that direction?' 'Well, I've got a natural habit to break stuff when I touch it so I figured that IT or anything like that wouldn't be the right decision for me. Besides, I'm good at math and I like it so far.' 'Ah, I see...' 'What about you?' 'Me? I'm studying IT...' 'You don't hear that every day. Haha...' 'I'm the only girl in my class...'

For the first time in my life, I felt comfortable for being with a guy... From the moment he approached me, he had this gentle, soft, tender look in his eyes that felt sincere to me... He kept having eye contact whenever he talked to me and smiled at me all the time. He made me feel comfortable because I had the feeling that with every other guy, they were staring at something completely different... Terry's a normal person who just wanted to have a normal conversation with someone... And I had a great time just talking to him... Of course, I felt kind of shitty when I threw the cocktail he offered me in the planter because they're really expansive... So I bought him one as well... Through out the evening, the two of us were talking about school, food, traveling and just things in general that I liked the most... Even though I knew he wasn't, he really made me feel as if he really cared about my opinions on things and I guess that's what really got me... Of course, Terry also talked to other people while I talked to Blain but Terry and I always came back to each other to talk and he always had that cute smile on his muzzle whenever we saw each other...

The hours just went by us and before I knew it, it was already half passed four in the morning and the idea was that Blain and I would go home together... When Terry finished his drink, he got hold of his mobile phone and stared at it for a moment... 'Uh... I think there's something wrong with my mobile.' 'What's wrong with it?' 'It doesn't have your phone-number in it.' 'What makes you think I'd give you my number...?' 'Well, what makes you think that I'd expect you to give me your number?' 'Haha, touché...' 'Besides, you still owe me after I got rid of that guy.' 'You're very keen on getting my number, aren't you?' 'Does it show?' 'Haha... I'll tell you what. You give me your number instead because I don't know my own phone-number...'

And so, he gave me his phone-number... After that, he said goodbye to Blain and me and we went our separate ways...

The reason why I didn't give him my number is quite obviously. I think you know by now how cautious I was with people back then so to avoid being stalked or something like that, I didn't give him my number. He gave me his number even though I never intended to actually call him again... But what I didn't know was that one phone-call was going to change everything...

I stayed over at Blain's place that night... I wanted to say goodbye to him in a special way, the only one I ever knew... I knew I wouldn't see him for a long time... So I slept with him, in the hope that he wouldn't forget about me... But while I was in bed with him that night, long after he fell asleep and I was still awake, I thought of Terry... He is different, unlike anyone I've ever seen before... He's not pushy, managed to put the focus on me during the conversations we had and well, he was funny... Not to mention his good looks... I looked at Blain and I remember thinking that it wasn't worth it... Blain and I have been friends for so long and just sleeping with each other just didn't do it anymore... I thought I had to feel something special but I didn't... It was just sex and that's all there was... I never regret sleeping with him... But talking to Terry made me realize that there are other people in the world to meet, not just Blain and Samantha... So many things can happen out there... It made me realize that not everyone is like that... Not everyone carries hatred in their hearts... And when I thought of Terry, our conversations and the way he smiled at me, I thought that he was just trying to be a friend... And maybe it was something I needed as well before I would end up being alone again... I looked at Blain again and I know he's a great guy... But not the one for me... I got hold of my mobile phone and stared at Terry's number for a long time, wondering if I ever had the guts to call...