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Chapter 01

Welcome to Zont

Down the road came a brightly colored wagon pulled by a colorful black and white paint horse with large puffs of hair around his fetlocks. A youthful looking woman with black and white striped fur covered skin sat on the driver's bench. She had a rather equine head with an erect mane also alternating between black and white. "Hay Patty can you smell that?"

"I can't get away from that smell." A much larger brown and white pinto patterned young woman with a horse's tail and rather horse like head came out to sit next to her smaller companion. "Zelda, what happened here? For anything to smell this bad you'd think there was magic involved and I should see that. Hatter how can you be so calm?"

The horse pulling the wagon gasped, "I was holding my breath, and you had to go and spoil that!"

"You couldn't have held it forever Hatter," Said Zelda.

Hatter laughed "Zelda have I ever told you that you have the strangest accent."

"Yes, nearly every time we talk. You know I don't speak Sylvan, and you know why."

"Would you two stop bickering? Can either of you see where that smell is coming from?"

"Patty, I can't see any better than you," Said Hatter.

"That bush is dripping with something," Offered Zelda indicating a modest sized bush about thirty paces up a gentle hill from the road.

"Thank the gods. The wind is blowing it away from us."

"Amen to that." Spoke Hatter and Zelda each in their preferred language.

"It must have taken an army of skunks to do that," Continued Zelda.

"There has to be magic involved to make it stink this much up wind. I just don't see it yet. Yes Hatter you may trot until we get to fresh air," said Patty who was by now on the verge of gagging.

"Yes please trot," Added Zelda.

It took only a few minutes to get clear of the worst of the horrific smell, but by then all three of them were having trouble keeping their eyes open from the irritation caused by the skunk odor. "I would hate to meet that skunk in a bad mood," offered Patty.

"I don't want to meet him at all," insisted Hatter

After an hour most of it at a casual walk Hatter came to a halt, fifty yards from a bridge. On the bridge railing sat a young woman. Her lightweight blue jacket and white blouse offered no disguise for an almost extreme figure. On her head she had white hair. Her body, what they could see of it, was covered in black fur with white stripes running down through an improbably large tail. She was looking down stream, apparently not aware of their approach.

"Come on Hatter slow and steady," Patty quietly urged.

"Patty! Do you see what direction that tail is pointed? You pull the wagon across the bridge. You're stronger than I am," complained Hatter.

The figure on the bridge moved, but continued to look down stream.

"Don't make any sudden moves we don't want to startle her," cautioned Zelda.

"We can't stay here forever," responded Patty.

"OK let's go back the way we came," added Hatter.

Without looking up the figure on the bridge asked, "What are you looking at?"

Without any hesitation Hatter answered "The biggest skunk in the world, and the end of breathing as we know it."

"HATTER!" hissed Patty.

With a voice far too casual for someone expecting to get sprayed by the world's largest skunk Zelda asked "Patty, Hatter didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"

"Yes he did."

The woman on the bridge stood up recovered her skirt, and quickly put it on while facing away from the voices. When she turned around, she saw two young women, one a zebra version of herself, and the other a much larger pinto version of herself. "Those lying bustards!"

"Who," asked Zelda?

"Larry and Jerry of course, what were you before they changed you?"

This question brought back memories Zelda would rather leave in the past. It confused Patty.

"Who are Jerry and Larry?" asked Patty.

"Two lying miserable excuses for men, also known as adult film procurers," spat out Jeanette, stamping her feet for emphasis.

"Don't do that!" cried Zelda, Patty, and Hatter in unison each in their preferred language.

"Hugh?" responded a surprised Jeanette as she gently put her left foot back on the ground.

"Please don't stamp your feet," pleaded Patty.

Jeanette looked thoughtful for a moment, and shrugged her shoulders. "Ok but why?"

Zelda handed the reins to Patty and climbed down from the wagon seat saying, "She's a new changeling. She doesn't know." Once on the ground she walked up to Jeanette and introduced herself and her companions. "My name is Zelda, my companion is Patty, and I apologize for Hatter, but horses can be very blunt."

"I guess my name is Jeanette Le Pew, it used to be Bill Defoe, but ... Wait a minute Hatter is your horse? What happened to my world? Where are we? What are you? ..." Jeanette had too many questions, and they were getting in each other's way in the rush for her mouth.

"Slow down kid it can be a lot to absorb all at once," cautioned Zelda.

"Who are you calling a kid? I'm older than I look. I am at least as old as you are," said Jeanette.

"I doubt that," said Patty from the wagon's bench "but we can go into that later. For now climb aboard, we're headed west, on sort of a vacation."

"Come on let's go in the back," said Zelda as she lead the way.

As they passed Hatter, he pointedly ignored them in that 'I chew in your presence' way some horses have when they are still just a bit nervous about something and don't want to show it. Zelda gave him a swat on the butt as they passed. "Be nice I think we'll keep her for a while."

Stepping through the door of the wagon was like stepping through Alice's looking glass. Outside it was an ordinary wagon. Inside it was, for all the world, a modern house. They came into the living room walked through the kitchen and out the 'back door' to the driver's seat. At the stunned look on Jeanette's face Zelda said, "We have no idea. We met an old woman who had one. She seemed to come and go from Zont as she pleased. We told her how impressed we were with her wagon, and a year later, she showed up, took us to a world with very different magic than Zont, and gave us this one. We've had it for two years now and we are still finding new things inside."

Looking around Jeanette said "Toto I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"Hugh! Where is Kansas and who is Toto?" asked Zelda.

"Oh I'm sorry. Just a comment for we're lost." As Jeanette and Zelda climbed onto the driver's bench, Jeanette noticed that 'Hatter' wore only a halter and not a bridle.

Patty following Jeanette's gaze said, "Hatter doesn't like the taste of the bit. So I tell him where we are going and he pretty much does the rest. The reins are for show, but you can slap him on the back when he isn't paying attention."

"Or you can swat at flies for me," offered Hatter.

"Yes she can," replied Patty.

"He's talking again isn't he?" asked Jeanette.

"Yes he is," answered Patty.

Zelda looked over at Jeanette and said, "So tell us your story. Where do you come from? What were you, and how did you get here?"

Jeanette explained that she came from San Anselmo California. The name meant nothing to Patty and Zelda and after a few minutes of other unfamiliar names, they settled on far far away. She explained that she had been a no longer young man, and she came to Zont through a door drawn on her wall with chalk. Jeanette was deliberately vague about the details of her transformation and what Jerry and Larry had her doing, but Patty thought she had the gist of it. During Jeanette's story Zelda got progressively quieter.

Sensing that her friend wanted some time alone Patty asked Zelda, to keep Hatter company while she and Jeanette went into the kitchen. "We'll leave the door open."

Zelda just took the reins while starring off into space and muttered mostly nonsense to Hatter as he resumed a casual pace down the road and across the bridge. He knew better than to smart off to her when she was like this. Not that she would ever hurt him, it just was not a decent thing to do when she was remembering. She would tell him when she was ready.

Patty led Jeanette to a table, and went to what looked like a modern refrigerator. She returned with a pitcher of dark brown liquid, filled two glasses and offered one to Jeanette. At Jeanette's quizzical look, Patty replied, "iced tea." That Jeanette recognized.

"It sounds like you come from the same world Katya comes from. She is the one who gave us the 'Vardo.' Problem is we have no idea how to get there or how to contact her, and if we could, you might still be Jeanette or worse."

"What could be worse than this?" asked Jeanette gesturing at her body.

"Try a normal little skunk. I thought Patty was going to go nuts without hands. The vision was a little hard for me at first, but I let the mare take over, she knew how to be a quaggi, and that made things a whole lot easier for me," answered Zelda in a detached tone from the driver's bench.

"Eeeyyoouu," shuddered Jeanette.

Patty went on patiently to explain that Zelda is also a changeling. Her father had been experimenting, and he accidentally blended his child with a striped mare to create Zelda. "We met on a privateer ship where Zelda was the gunnery officer. She is a great deal older than she admits, and there is more to her story than Zelda has told even me."

"When we met I was lost to my own anger and sadness. My clan had been murdered, and some of them eaten by a group of orcs. When I came aboard, I was looking for the power to slaughter all the orcs everywhere, or the release of a violent death in the attempt and I did not care which I found. Seeing that I was moodier than Zelda, prone to hide in a bottle of ail for days at a time, and strong enough to pick up the guns or the anchor, the captain gave me two jobs on board. I was to pull up the anchor when we got under way, and whatever Zelda wanted done. She still gets moody at times, and she likes to blow things up when she's feeling down. On board the ship, once a month Zelda would send me to collect two of the crew for gunnery practice. Since it was always when we most wonted shore leave, I usually had to carry them one under each arm, but that is another story. We sailed together for about two years and during that time Zelda never left the boat. In fact, no one could remember Zelda ever leaving the boat. It therefore was quite a surprise when one day she met me on the deck with both our sea bags packed. She handed them to me, and said come on. She climbed down to the pier, and walked off towards the town. That was about six years ago."

Patty went on to explain how Zont was a magical world that could be dangerous for the unwary, but not as dangerous as it might seem at first mostly just different. Katya always seemed to be surprised at how magic stood in for something she called tech-nol-o-gy. After the magnificent magic of her wagons, they just assumed that is what she called magic.

There are many races here, and some of the animals can speak, but most of the talking animals have very little to say. Good and evil are very real, and confusing the difference can cost you more than just your life. Wizards think they keep things working, but they can be callous, and ambitious to the point of cruelty, and evil.

There are things here that will kill you, or do worse, just because they can. In order to succeed and survive in the wilder parts of Zont one must be good at many things or very good at a few things and Zelda's bombs help too. Everything you need is here from plants that can kill a Roc, to others can help to heal a sword wound, and most of them are edible. You are welcome to travel with us until you find or make a place for yourself in this world. Zelda has a tendency to take in strays." Patty made this last comment with a pleasant almost infectious grin, as her ears flicked in Zelda's direction.

They continued to talk through the pitcher of iced tea. While Patty made a new one to put back in the 'cold box', Jeanette climbed back out onto the bench.

"So kid, did she straighten you out?" asked Zelda as Jeanette climbed out.

"I suppose. I've had too much of indoors this last month. Mind if I sit out here for a while?"

Zelda nodded and they traveled on in silence for hours, each lost in their own thoughts. While from the kitchen Patty thought, this is going to be hard on Zelda. Well at least it wasn't Jeanette's father that changed her.

After a while Jeanette got a quizzical look and asked. "Zelda how is it that I can understand you and Patty?"

"What do you mean kid?"

"It is unlikely that this world has the same languages as mine, but Patty speaks west coast English like she grew up just down the street from me. You have a slight accent but I have no trouble understanding either of you."

"You are not speaking English kid, and I am not speaking Arabic. Something about getting here gives you one free language. Almost always it is a language that is wide spread in the area you arrive in. Usually it has no official name and is simply called common. The rest of the languages you will have to learn the hard way." When Zelda finished speaking it seemed to Jeanette that Hatter had something to say but Jeanette had no idea what it might be. Jeanette did hear Zelda tell Hatter to mind his own business.

Late that afternoon Hatter pulled the wagon to the edge of a small town. He stopped just outside a tavern. Zelda seemed to brighten with something to do while her and Patty unhitched Hatter brushed him down and gave him something to eat and drink from a livery stable just down the street. With Hatter settled, they collected Jeanette and went into the tavern. This was hardly a nightclub. It was more of a TV saloon without the fancy mirror. As they entered the room quickly fell silent. Into that silence, someone whispered, "Don't startle the skunk."

Jeanette felt every eye in the room on her, or more precisely her tail. "I won't bite," she said to the crowd of mostly human patrons. Then to Zelda, "you'd think they had never seen a skunk before."

"Jeanette in the 50 plus years that I have wandered this part of the world I have never even heard stories of a 150 pound skunk."

"I'm 140 pounds, Zelda," corrected Jeanette.

"Yes you are." agreed Patty with a wink to Zelda

Slowly normal chatter returned to the room, but the continuing scrutiny made Jeanette uncomfortable. After an unnecessarily long time the tavern keeper a stocky badger a bit taller than Zelda with three fingered hands came over to announce "I have only boiled mutton, and no wine." Zelda placed her left hand high on his shoulder where he could just see it and whispered something into his ear to which he politely responded,"I'll see what I can do."

"Zelda was your hand just on fire?" asked Jeanette.

"Yes. It comes from when I asked for a blessing from a dragon who turned out to be a god. Not the smartest thing I ever did, but it is useful from time to time."

"Zelda, you could lay waste to an island with that hand, and you nearly have," added Patty.

"And these people are afraid of me?" questioned Jeanette.

Patty explained "They can see my size and your tail. Zelda is just a small striped woman. They don't see the threat she can be. Me they understand they can overwhelm me if they have to. You are the unknown. You could blind and gag every one of them before the first could make it to the door, and killing you would not save them. They would still have to burn down the building."

A few minutes later the tavern keeper returned with a simple but filling meal of lamb stew and warm sweet beer. He had been completely honest about running out of wine. The beer was going to take some getting used to. After the meal and an hour of swapping stories, the girls returned to the wagon and locked the door. "The ale didn't sit well with you, did it?" It was more an observation then question from Patty.

"No, warm beer is going to take some getting used to," responded Jeanette.

Patty produced two small bottles of bear, "most people place these in a creek for an hour or so but the cold box that came with the wagon is so much easier," said Patty as she handed one to Jeanette.

"You should have seen the mess when Patty put some of them in the top cabinet," laughed Zelda as she entered from the main room of the wagon.

"How was I supposed to know?" complained Patty.

Jeanette had a mental image of a confused looking Patty with her right hand still holding the freezer door open watching broken glass and beer foam slide down the front of the refrigerator, and she started to laugh.

"It was a good idea," insisted Patty.

"Just not good enough," laughed Zelda.

Contined....