Protect and Serve.txt
#4 of Furpleasure
"Way way back;...ok, about 2 years ago, down on the 23rd precinct of Proteus Town, on the corner of 5th and Main sits the Proteus Police department in all its glory. A large, beautiful building of 3 stories, representing everything that is right in the law. It is said this station houses the most honest cops one could think of.
There was your standard police station on the first floor, encompassing the holding cells, the check-in office, lobby and whatnot. One could hardly walk through there without being yelled at by the nightly drunks in the cells. Usually it's the Thompson brothers, a couple of Draught stallions who we just give up on sending to trial and throw them in the tank every once in a while. Apparently, you can lead a horse from whiskey, but you cant keep him from drinking.
Beyond that was the heart of the law, men and women dedicated to their work on helping people. That was floor number two, the officers and detectives center. This was a huge area with briefing and de-briefing rooms, shooting range, training gym, armory, everything an officer needed.
The third floor is the offices. Boring, benign, and every kind of dull were these offices. Every gun battle, every police chase, any action packed thrill ride of police prowess begot a seriously ridiculous amount of paperwork, normally filled out by a police station's Officers in the room full of computers on the third floor; however, this police station having limited funding for such a small town had only one office secretary.
This is where I come in. I'm the papergal so to speak, up in the office all day recording, filing, and typing my paws off. Where are my manners? My name is Pearl. Pearl Minotaur, a tired, run down cheetah of about twenty. My hair is a dark brown and constantly contorted into a bun for work; a few strands will fall in front of my eyes for style if I can manage to keep the boss from yelling at me about it, tight ass. I usually keep my countenance about me, I mean I'm not unattractive, I'm just kept up in the third floor all day cramming my 38DD's into a business suit and my hips into a skirt thats way too long. Locked up in the office with my files, crash reports, insurance claims, bills, lawsuits, oh my god its so frustrating, And theres only one way out.
For 4 years I have been studying to be a field officer. I can pass the physical exam with flying colors. I'm fit, I'm fast, I'm reflexive, I'm a crack shot, but when I hit the paper of the written exam I choke up. All the answers are there, I'm a smart girl, but they turn to alphabet soup and I bomb. This time, however, I'm going to make it. I took my last test a week ago and I'm still waiting on the results. I still remember how excited I was. My friend tied me to a chair and interrogated me with every one of the questions with no notes. I got every single one right and the next day I was bone still the entire test. I'm only a little nervous because my results are 2 weeks overdue, so I just assume that..OH MY GOD!"
Hehe, that was me a couple of years ago. I had just opened my acceptance letter to the second floor. The proctor who supervised all of my testing told me I was the most agile and flexible new entrant he has seen this year. I'd think he were hitting on me if he didn't have a boyfriend. I had aced my written exam as well. About a month and a half later, I had finished my training and it was time to hit the streets. I wish I had been warned about how cruel life outside that little office was. I'm no moron, but I knew most of these cops personally, and I never saw them to be assholes, but here I sat, ridiculed by each one of them...I felt like I was being heckled down a hallway of drunks after a night of bad karaoke. It turns out with me gone, everyone apparently had to take on their own paperwork. This didn't make me very popular around the office. It seems my fast paws were much more welcome than my fast reflexes.
Marty, the front desk clerk had a massive workload increase with the sole secretary gone. He was a pig...I mean it, he was a pig, all the clerks were pigs, mostly pink, but Marty was brown wit a white spot on his chin and left hoof. He was also a dick, and he hated me. Every morning, it was a comment about my ass being too big, or my belly about to pop the uniform, to say nothing of his own fat self.
I worked as a policewoman for a while, getting shit jobs and lame calls because dispatch also had a considerable amount more paperwork to deal with because of me. I got the crappy squad car. I got the last moldy donut, even though after Marty gets done, it's a miracle if anything is left. I got rat tailed in the ass after every shower by an angry German Shepard bitch who's boyfriend took over a lot of my workload. Frankly, I think she hates me just because my chest is bigger.
Last year, on a particularly stressful day, I had just made it through my usual hazing and gotten back just in time to clock out when Maggie, the old goat who runs dispatch, clips my last second. "You gotta call for public disturbance by the docks. The neighbors have been complaining about too much noise coming from the warehouse in that area." Now, I'm no moron. I new damn well that that warehouse had special zoning permits for excessive noise and the only neighbors were businesses run only during the day. It was obvious an annoyed call from a late worker and instead of hang up like usual, I was the patsy. Regardless, it was my duty, so I got in my shitty, broken down squad car and headed out.
I pull up to the warehouse and step out. It had been a long time since I had been to the docks, years have changed it. It had a beautiful neon sign on the front. "FP" it said. I walked up to the front and read the little flyers. It was a club now, events and live DJs. Looked like a good time, regardless, I couldn't clock out if I didn't at least get the owner to sign the stupid warning ticket. I had forgotten why I got into police work in the first place. It was so stupid. I was wasting my talents. I walk in and it was so crowded. I couldn't believe it. Beautiful and handsome people all over the place, dancing, having fun. I had about half of a minute to take it all in before a pair of paws hoked me over by the shoulder.
I turned around and standing beside me, smiling wide was a cute pink bunny. He was apparently the Dj and the huge headphones around his neck was so adorable. He was short and petite, with a sweet smile and a very awkward statement. "It's about time you got here, we called you hours ago. Kit's waiting." I was dumbstruck. I wasn't sure how to react to being pushed along the walkway and before long I was on stage, the head spotlight on me and a beautiful, bust cougar was looking up at me with hungry eyes. I looked around. Dancers, a DJ, balloons everywhere, and behind me a giant sign that said "Happy Birthday Kit!" I figured this must be a mistake, but something felt right.
The music began to take me over. I started simply by swaying my hips, figuring they wanted me here for a reason and before long they were cheering. By this time I was really dancing, my skirt had worked up about to my hips from the movement and everyone could see my thong. Of ALL days to be caught in one. I was getting way too carried away, gripping the pole behind me and swinging myself onto it and curling my long legs around the cold iron. I flipped myself upside down a couple times and spun around, carried away by the pink bunny's intoxicating choice in music. Before long, I was pulled down onto the cougaress' lap, subjected to her paws and affection on my body. "You have a way with moving there cutie, how about you come and work for me, and leave that shitty temp agency."
"Temp agency?!" I said. "Im an officer of the lamwmmw!?" I couldn't get another word out before the cougaress pressed me to her lips and sucked me into an enticing kiss. It wasn't long after my little dance before I was told what had happened. Apparently, someone had hired a stripper for the cougaress' birthday party, despite her running a club full of dancers. And me being in uniform in the right place at the wrong time, the DJ kind of jumped his fluffy little gun. But you wont catch me complaining. Kit kept her job offer open, seeing as I was still a good dancer. Needless to say I took it, tore up the warning stub, and left with my uniform shirt over my shoulder to go turn in my badge.
Back at the studio, I bound through the door, twirling as I skidded down the hall. I walked right up to that old goat and kissed her, slid through the shower to thwap the bitch with her own rattail, and stomped right up to Marty to slam my badge and gun right down in front of his snout. He sat there stunned that I could just walk out so easily, as if they hadn't been trying to drive me out for months.
He just nodded, losing all snide remarks and jokes he had prepared for me, and asked me simply if I would process this one last arrest form for him. "Just for old time sake." I couldn't really argue. I had left them to do mountains of paperwork, and now I was taking away their punching bag. "Sure" I said, "What to we have?" He said it started as a simple speeding ticket for a busty hyena on the highway, then they had to arrest her for impersonating an officer. I couldn't help but laugh, much to Marty's confusion. "Lemme guess," I giggled, "Screaming something about a party?" He just nodded and I slapped down the report, done in a flash, as always. I turned and walked back out, leaving my badge and gun behind to go and pursue my new job.
It's been a good while since Ive worked here at Furpleasure, and I cannot say anything bad about the experience. Kit's now one of my closest friends, I have more every day, and I have time off during greeter duty to tell you this story since no ones around. Heehee, then again, one of the dancers is headed this way. Hes pretty cute too... Some girls fall for bucks with spikes around their antlers, some dig a Doberman with a buzzcut and a pistol on his thigh. I guess I just have a weakness for cats with purple hair this morning.