Friendly Direction: chapter 2

Story by Juniper on SoFurry

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#3 of Friendly Direction


Okay, so here is chapter two. It took a lot longer than I'd thought. I had to make some decisions about Indigo and Janet that I didn't have cemented in my mind after chapter one. Then this suffered numerous rewrites till I was satified with the pacing and dialog. I hope you enjoy this as much as you did the first chapeter. All constructive criticism is welcome. (I can't catch it all and want to improve. Tell me what you think and see!)

Chapter 2

Indigo chuckled and dropped his gaze to stare into his cup. "Heh, do I want your help?" He repeated her question as he swirled his coffee.

"Oh, oops!" Janet pressed the heel of her palm into her forehead. "I'm sorry. I slipped."

"What?"

"I just asked if you needed help and now you're putting up your guard again." Janet's oversized rabbit front teeth pulled at her lower lip.

"I'm putting up my guard?"

"Oh, yes." Janet affirmed as she cradled her head in her hands. "You can't answer simple questions again. You react badly to the offer of help. Your personality rejects the idea of receiving help."

"What?" Indigo laughed a short breathy laugh that seemed to him too close to a nervous laugh. "When did you decide to become a psychologist?"

"Deflection again." Janet said, punctuating her judgment with a pointing finger.

"What?" Indigo said, laughing that same laugh again, and recognizing it irritated him. With a disgusted grimace he laid his ears back and shifted in his seat.

"Oh! Now, I'm being too forward," Janet said with repentant self-assessment and again pushed the palm of her fist into her forehead. "I'm sorry." When she looked up her ears splayed out showing her self-reproach. "No, to answer your question, I am not becoming a psychologist but, I did take psychology as part of my foundation classes. And you know I read my textbook. That, coupled with my intimate knowledge of how you think and act allows me to, umm..." Janet bit her lower lip and smiled sheepishly. "Read you like a book."

Indigo sat back in his seat and looked over his shoulder at the town still trying to thaw itself in the early morning sun. "It's cold out here." He said like it was a sudden revelation and rubbed his thighs to warm them.

"Is that gray hide of yours merely ornamental?" Janet looked down and sighed. "Indigo, I'm here now. I just want to..." her face twisted and furrowed in thought. "I mean, may I offer you some friendly direction?"

"Huh, 'friendly direction'?"

"Yes." Janet said with a hint of impatience creeping into her voice. "That's the best I can come up with without verbally stepping on one of your mines." Indigo eyed her warily. "That's my metaphor for trying to avoid words or phrases you find objectionable when applied to you."

"Like 'help'?"

"Exactly. I can ask you to help me at any time and you will gladly agree. That's part of your nature. You're a helper. You keep yourself strong and make yourself available to anyone who asks. But you will suffer a great deal before you ask someonefor help. Accepting help from another person contradicts who you are; especially if you perceive them as weaker than you."

"But I asked you for help with my language, and for all my writing assignments. I still do."

"Yes, but as an ESL student you had already seen your deficiencies. In other words, you saw me as stronger than you in this area. And you probably felt you had to repay me with protection at school to salve your ego." Indigo stared at his hands pondering all she just said. It had the ring of truth, but some part of him writhed under her assessment. "Discussing feelings and relationships is difficult for most guys. I think it may be worse for you. Can you help me by cooperating? I mean: Do you believe I have your best interests in mind?"

"Yes." Indigo forced out the word like a breath of bad air.

"Despite what you may think, I don't want to pressure you into this. We can quit now if you believe you won't go around sulking anymore." Janet's right hand picked up her book like she was ready to leave. An anxious feeling washed over him. A sudden yearning for her continued presence pushed aside his simultaneous feeling that he was being played. She always seemed to know what to say to get him to do what she wanted. But he had never regretted her involvement before.

"Please, stay." He said laying his hand on hers.

"Why?" She asked sharply. It seemed like she was a coiled spring in her chair. Her only restraint was her eyes which were locked on him. Those field green eyes that pierced his defenses, saw through his façade, and were now waiting for his response. "What do you want?"

"I want some friendly direction." He spoke like the phrase was his own. Janet's careful smile rewarded him and she relaxed in her seat and set down her book.

"Okay, Then first things first." Janet adjusted her seat, smoothed her dress, and then rested her chin against her folded hands. Indigo rolled his shoulders and head back, enjoying the satisfying pops that action produced. Then he leaned forward to put his folded arms on the table and met her eyes. "First, it is way too late for you to drop classes," Janet said, completely businesslike in tone, "and you probably don't want to quit football, so you will have to finish this semester."

"Yes."

"Then there are still three issues left. Next is to find your interest, or new career choice. Do you have any ideas?"

"No."

Janet regarded him a moment. "Do you remember your interests from your aptitude test with your guidance counselor in high school?"

Indigo chuckled. "I remember talking a lot about football. I think he was trying to recruit me for his alma mater."

"You didn't take the aptitude test?"

"I took a test. Some silly thing that asked a bunch of questions about jobs I had never done. It made little sense to me. I don't remember my..." Indigo paused to search for a word.

"Results?"

"Yes. I don't remember my results."

"Okay, so first you need to visit the Student Center to find out where you can retake one."

"And then?"

"Then, with that information, you choose your new major."

Indigo felt a little discouraged. "Just that easy, huh?"

"No one else can tell you what to do." Janet said with real empathy. "Don't think this will be the same. You are not the same. Take the test first and see what your results are. If you are not satisfied, they should have other resources to... guide you."

Indigo smiled at her near-slip at saying 'help'. "I'm a real pain, aren't I?"

Janet smiled back. "You just help me maintain a good vocabulary."

"So, what do you think my major should be?"

"What are your interests?"

Indigo sighed, "I don't know." Discouragement soaked his words making them heavy. "I fool around with a lot of stuff, but nothing holds my interest long."

"Well then, what are your passions?"

"Isn't that the same question?"

"No. Your passions are emotion driven. Interests are more intellectual."

"I don't know. What do you think?"

"I can't answer that for you, Indigo." Janet said, and then corrected herself. "Or, I shouldn't answer that for you."

"Didn't you want to give me some direction?"

"Yes, of course, I'm trying, but some things must come from you alone." Janet studied him again. He felt like she was searching him for a new angle. "Hmm, let me put it this way: What makes you angry?"

Indigo smiled predatorily. "I think you know that answer."

"Let me hear you say it."

"Okay," Indigo felt his fists clench as memories flooded his mind. "I get angry at cowards who beat up the weak. I get angry at rich, privileged, trash who think they are better than everyone. I get angry at the groups who pick on one person because he is different or because she is..." Indigo paused, trying to find a word he wanted to say.

"Ugly?" Janet supplied.

Indigo grimaced. "Not what I was going to say, you were never ugly."

Janet chuckled. "If you think boils and ingrown hair are attractive you are definitely 'different' however, I assure you, in middle school my glasses, oil matted fur, and facial blemishes placed me firmly in the 'ugly' category."

"I do not like you saying such things." Indigo said firmly, in opposition to her glib, negative characterization of herself. "You were having a difficult transition into womanhood."

Janet threw her head back and laughed, "You sound just like my mom!" Indigo felt his face heat and he glared at her until she grew serious again. "Okay," She cleared her throat, "so, in essence you are saying that injustice makes you angry. Do you agree with that statement?"

"Yes."

"So, I would conclude from this that you are passionate about justice and impartiality. Does this sound accurate?

"Yes." He said after a moment's reflection.

"Great, progress!" Janet rubbed her hands and smiled the same eager smile that began his questioning. "I still think you should retake the aptitude test. I believe it will broaden your career choices. After that you need to see a counselor about your new career selection so she can match that with a new major and class choices. There is nothing I can do for you in that area."

"So what's next?"

"I just told you. You need to have a career choice in mind to proceed to step two: Find a new major."

Indigo still felt uncertain. "What jobs do you think I would be good at?"

Janet frowned, "You should say: 'What jobs do you think I could do well?' and I have already told you that I shouldn't tell you what to do. You need to discover that on your own."

"I'm not asking you to tell me what job to take," Indigo said with mild exasperation. "I'm asking for your opinion, for your 'friendly direction'."

Janet filled a glass of water and proceeded to sip at it with her eyes focused faraway. Indigo followed her lead and poured himself a glass and drank deeply.

"Do you remember your fight with the O'Malley brothers?" Janet asked as Indigo emptied his glass

"Of course. All of them, but which one do you mean?"

"The last one. Freshman year."

The memory was as fresh to him as the air he breathed. His three-fingered equine hands clenched into fists so tight his knuckles popped. "I can't believe they only served time for the assault."

"You didn't really expect them to get convicted for attempted kidnapping did you?" Indigo nodded. Janet smiled thinly. "I guess I did too, at first. But then I read some law books and similar cases. I knew then that as first time offenders they would probably plea bargain and only get at most, 'assault with a deadly weapon' charges."

"They were going to rape you like they did later to Raleigh and Denise, and probably to Jennifer. And God knows who else." Indigo punched his thigh. "If only they had been tried for everything they tried to do to us. Anyone in their right mind could see what they had planned to do with their attack on you!"

"I know," Janet said gently, using the soft, reasoning tone she often used to calm him when he was angry. "Raleigh and Denise may have been spared, and Jennifer too, if she was their first victim, may not have killed herself. But, she was always a fragile, borderline personality. And I never felt secure around her freaky step-father. I wonder how much blame he bears in her death."

"Why do you act unsure? Those things would not have happened if they were convicted of all they had planned with our attack."

"Perhaps," Janet said, "but I think they still would have attacked someone close to us as soon as they could."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I think I was their prime target all along." Janet said in an even voice that seemed to float just above a melancholy sea. "Jerry wanted to humiliate me for embarrassing him so badly in eighth grade. He swore he would get even with me. He even threatened me in front of the whole class. Jake and John wanted to disgrace me for their own perverted desires, but also for their younger brother's vengeance. And because they knew it would get to you. They wanted to get at you because, well, you beat them so easily every time you fought them and everyone in school knew it."

"Yes, I know their...motives for wanting to get to us, but why attack Raleigh, Denise and Jennifer?"

"Because they were your friends. If they couldn't harm you directly, they would attack those close to you. When they tried to get you and me directly they failed. Horribly! They even had knives that day and you still beat them all."

"I swing a mean backpack." Indigo shrugged dismissively, "after I entangled John's knife with the backpack strap it was easy to break his arm. Jake was always slow, I caught his hand and broke his grip. Once he dropped the knife I punched his throat and he found out how hard it is to fight while choking. And you struggled so hard with Jerry he couldn't do anything to help his brothers." As he spoke, Indigo was staring past Janet to the memories of that day. He had never talked about that fight with her before. Now it seemed as fresh as yesterday. "He cut your throat. You were bleeding."

"They weren't deep cuts." Janet said as though she were trying to console him. "I probably cut myself more through struggling than he ever intended to cut me. They didn't leave a scar."

"I think that's why they still live."

"You were far more interested in getting help for me than in getting revenge." Janet eyes went soft and dreamy. "You know, I never asked you: Why did you defend me the first time? Tell me about it please?"