Inner Dilemma | Part 5

Story by Rivard on SoFurry

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#5 of Inner Dilemma


Before you read this part, I want to inform you that I changed the writing style from third person to first person (Allen). I got that suggestion and now I'm following it and I like it. Thanks for reading and please comment, fav, rate, tell your friends, tell your mom, tell your high school principal, and watch. You don't HAVE to, but I love getting the notifications. These characters are mine and mine alone but if you want to draw the characters or a part of one of the stories, just message me and I'll probably say "HELL YES!" Enough of my ramblings, enjoy Part 5!

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The day was b-e-a-utiful. Not a cloud in sight, the sun shone bright, and everybody was outside. It had been pretty cold the past few days, so we took advantage of the weather. John, Mike, and I just finished a run. We went around a 6:40 pace throughout the six miles we ran. This is a huge accomplishment for me considering that a month earlier, I thought that three miles was impossible. As soon as we finished out run, we didn't want to go inside in fear that a day like this was not going to come again for a long time, so we started throwing a football.

"Hey Allen," John said holding the football, "go out for a deep pass. I want to see how far I can throw it."

"Alright" I said starting to run out so that John could throw it far. I stop around twenty yards out and turn to John.

I hear John shouting, "Farther!"

I picked up my pace and look over my shoulder as I saw the football soaring through the air. I had to go faster to catch up with it. The ball began to descend back down to Earth and I kept my eye on the ball. It was coming down towards me and I was prepared to make the catch when all of a sudden, my legs got scratched up and I hit face first into some dirt. What I did not see was a row of hedges on the outside of a garden. I was too transfixed on the ball that I did not see it and I tabletopped over it. It hurt at first, but that went away as I stood up.

I look back to see John and Mike on the ground uncontrollable with laughter. John was on his back, holding his stomach and Mike was on his stomach punching the ground. I couldn't help but put on a smile as I imagined what it would look like to see it from a different vantage point. I retrieved the ball from one of the bushes and jogged back over to my friends who are still on the ground.

As I got back to where John and Mike were, they finally started getting a hold of themselves. "Damn Allen, you alright?" asked John with a smile across his muzzle.

I couldn't help but laugh a bit "You suck you know that."

"I didn't mean to do it." John said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"And on that note, I think we're done here," Mike interceded, "I'm starving, you guys want to grab something to eat?"

Right on cue, my stomach started to rumble and my put my paws over it. "Count me in."

"You guys go on ahead," John said, "I got to study for my Psychology exam tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes and John headed off to his dorm while Mike and I headed in the opposite direction. We walked past the dining hall and I got curious. "Uh Mike, we past the dining hall."

"I know," Mike said, "I'm tired of that food. I want to mix it up and eat somewhere downtown."

I had no objections. I had only been to a couple of places downtown and I wanted to see what the rest of it was like. Mike and I walked around and debated on a few places to eat.

We decided to eat at a sports bar. Inside it had a bar where a lot of upperclassmen and young adults sat drinking, sports memorabilia on the wall, and about fifteen television all around restaurant with different games on. We sat down at our table and ordered our food. Once the waitress walked away, Mike started up the conversation.

"It's actually good that John couldn't come because I need to ask you something important." He had a serious tone and I was pretty sure I knew where this was going. "When are you going to tell John?"

That question had been on my mind nonstop. It would change from soon, to later, to never, and even right now. "I still have no idea," I answered, "at first, I was fine with never telling him and just hiding in the closet. After I came out to you and my family, I've had this feeling like I'm free and I can be who I really am. I would tell John, but I'm afraid because he's the one that I have a crush on and if I tell him that I'm gay, then he'll find out that I like him and I don't want things to be weird between us. I don't want him to view me as 'that queer who wants to have sex with me.'"

"Listen," Mike grabbed my paw, not in an intimate way, but a supportive way, "You thought that I would think less of you and you thought that your family wouldn't accept you. But guess what, you found out that I don't think any less of you and your family still loves you."

Why does Mike always have to be right? Why does he always know what to say?

Just then our food arrived. We didn't say a word as we gobbled down our cheeseburgers. I was working on my fries when I asked Mike, "Do you think that John's gay?" The question was spontaneous and I was surprised that I blurted that out. Mike seemed unfazed by the abrupt question.

"Sorry, but I can't help you there. My GAYDAR isn't very good. I didn't think you were gay until you told me. To be fair, I never really thought about it. There's only one way to find out."

I knew what that was. I had to come out to John. John, the one I've been fantasizing about since high school, the one who still doesn't know that I'm gay, the one I can't get off of my mind. I sigh as I think of this and Mike saw this in my face and he grabbed my paw again and looked me in the eye.

"Listen to me. You can do this. You are strong."

His tone reminds me of my father when he gave me those serious talks. It's kind of strange to have such a serious talk with one of your friends, but I really liked them.

"Thank you" was all I could say.

We paid for our food and headed out. It was still light outside as we explored more of what downtown had to offer. We stopped at a couple of shops just browsing for stuff, letting the time past by. It was fun just going around from place to place. I didn't buy anything because I'm a college student and I'm broke.

We were at a sports place and I was browsing through the running section. It was weird to see how much stuff one can buy for something as simple as running. I continued looking until Mike said that we should probably head back to campus and I agreed with him. We walked out of the store and headed down the road.

That's when we heard it.

It was shouting from up ahead. We couldn't see what was going on but it was just ahead of us and in one of the alleys a couple of shops down. I look over at Mike and he looked over at me, both of us had a what's-going-on look on our faces. Mike started to pick up the pace as he led the charge to the source of the noise.

We rounded the corner about the same time and it was hard to see exactly what was going on at first. We stepped closer and then we saw exactly what was going on.

A panther and a bear huddled around an otter. The panther had night black fur and had a red spot over his right eye and the bear had a dark brown fur. Both of them wore baggy pants and oversized shirts. None of them noticed Mike or me as we saw what their attention was on. A tan furred otter was in the feeble position with bruises over his body and a couple of bloody cuts. He was also crying as he helplessly got a kick in the gut from the panther.

No one was around us. We didn't have time to call the police. I figured by the time that they got here, the panther and bear would be gone and the otter would be dead. Nobody was around to intervene, except us and we knew it. Mike and I started running at the group. Mike yelled angrily, "Hey!" The bear turned around to meet Mike's fist hit him in the jaw. I ran over to the panther and socked him in the face as well. I had never been in a fight before and never punched anyone as hard as I could so I didn't know if it would hurt, but I found out that it hurts a lot.

The panther staggered back from the unforeseen blow but came right back up and threw his elbow into my sternum knocking me to the ground. That's when the adrenaline kicked into full gear. I faced the panther and charged at him. I landed a couple of punches in his face and kidney. He lowered his shoulder and tackled me to the ground and I hit the asphalt hard. The fists came as I took blows to my muzzle from his fisted paws. All I could do was put my arms over my face and try to block the punches with little success. I took about five punches until I feel the weight suddenly come off of me. I looked to see what happened when I saw the otter running to the wall with the panther's shirt in his paws and threw him face first into the brick wall.

I looked over to where Mike was and saw that Mike was bleeding but still putting up a fight against the bear. I put my paw to the side of my muzzle and then pulled it away when it started to hurt like hell. I looked at my paw and saw that blood covered it. I immediately stop thinking of it when I heard the otter gasp as the air got knocked out of him. The otter was helpless as he received multiple kicks and punches. The panther hit him a few more times and then the otter collapsed and fell unconscious. It was hard to focus but I got up and ran at him. He threw a punch, but I miraculously dodged it and grabbed his head and threw it to the wall. He yelled as he staggered back a couple of feet. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and punched him in the eye. His fatigue and lack of strength caused him to just take the blow.

He stopped fighting back for a moment and I let my guard down because I thought that he passed out. The panther then pulled a knife from his pocket. And swung it at me. The panther's accuracy was low, but that didn't stop him from wildly swinging it. I swung it horizontally and it made contact against my chest right over the heart. I cried out in pain as I clutch my chest. The panther made another swing but missed. He raised his arm up for another strike as I grab it and bite his arm as hard as I could. Call it barbaric, but I did it out of survival instinct. My teeth broke through the skin and the panther let go of the knife. I released my bite to go for it, but found that it fell in a heap of junk so there was no point in taking the time to retrieve it. The panther crumbled to the ground as he was out of fighting power. I looked down at my chest to see the damage. It made a gash that was about six inches long, but it did not go very deep. I picked up the barely conscious panther and hit him, then again, and again. He then passed out, but I didn't care. I just wanted to beat the living hell out of the panther. I cock my fist back to bring another punch when I feel a paw grab my arm and pull me.

The bear threw me and I toppled over a metal trashcan. My head hit something hard and the adrenaline wasn't enough to stop the pain. It hurt so bad that I couldn't even think. I look over along one of the walls and see Mike. His face is all bruised and bloody. His chest was rising and falling so I knew he was alive, but I was still scared for him. I stood up and looked at the bear straight in the eyes. I wanted to cry but I wasn't going to give the bear the satisfaction. The bear's face had blood coming down it. Mike did quite a number on him. I glared at him, but my heart was pumping at speeds I didn't know were possible.

"Tried to be a hero, huh?" the bear laughed, "I'd love to make this long and painful for you, but you've caused enough trouble already." He reached behind him and pulled out the one thing that I hoped he didn't have, a gun.

I was staring at death right in the face as I looked at the gun. I was scared and the bear saw that as he grinned and rose his gun aimed right at me. I wanted to run and try to get away, but that would leave Mike and the otter still here. There was no chance of running. If I was going to die, I was going to die looking him in the eyes.

Sirens rang as three cop cars came up to the end of the alley. Cops got out of their cars and stood around them holding their guns yelling, "Lower your weapon now! Step away from the kid! Drop the gun!"

The bear just stood there looking at me. He lowered his gun a little, but held onto it. He lowered his head and his eyes darted back and forth as I could tell that he was contemplating something. I stood frozen, hoping, praying that the bear would surrender to the police.

The bear shook his head a little and muttered so that only he and I could hear, "No. I'm not going down like this." I knew that the bear had no intention of going to jail.

What happened next seemed to go in slow motion. He looked at me directly in the eye and raised his gun. He was going to kill me. I took a deep breath. You know when people say that you see your life flash before your eyes, that's bullshit. All I could focus on was that gun.

Then the next few things seemed to happen all at once. I felt two paws on my shoulder and they pushed me off to the side. As I fly to the ground to my right, I hear a gunshot, but I feel nothing. I feel the asphalt come in contact with me. More gunshots go off and I saw the bear fall to his knees and the bullets go through him and then he collapsed.

What the hell happened? He shot, but I didn't feel the bullet. Did he actually miss me?

I look over to what knocked me down. My heart stops. Mike was lying on the ground, not moving. My head was still killing me and it was getting hard to see but I made it over to Mike. I saw the bullet hole in the right side of his torso. His eyes were shut and now I can't breathe as I see Mike's body lying of the ground. Tears fly out of my eyes and I yell his name, hoping that he hears me and wakes up, "Mike! Mike!" but he doesn't wake up, he doesn't move at all.

Two sets of paws grab me and pull me as a couple of policemen try to separate me from Mike. I broke free and go back to hold onto Mike. I had to be there for him. More paws grab me this time and I cannot break free. It was only then that I realize that my whole body hurt like mad and now I can barely see. I try to see Mike, but the paramedics are all around him. My heart hurts it's beating so hard, and I can't hear anything except muffled sounds coming from the policemen that held onto me. Everything starts to spin.

"Mike" I say weakly as I fall onto the policemen's arms and everything goes black.