The Perfect Murder for the Perfect Murderer
Bill: Hey furs, here's something I came up with the night before.
Shadow: What is it?
Bill: Just an idea I had.
Darkside: You mind if we read it?
Bill: Sure you two can.
*Bill ends script here and types the warning, if there would be one, and types up his story*
IMPORTANT WARNING:
Sorry, furs. I cannot put a warning on this one, because I got nothing witty to say. You still need to be 18 or older to read this, though.
A cop sat in his car waiting for any speeder to whiz by. He sat and sipped his coffee, for it was eight in the morning and it was a pretty brisk morning, so he needed a good wakeup call. He always drank his coffee black with sugar. The man was a bloodhound and was a new recruit on the force. His name was Kevin. A new recruit was meant to get an assignment, even if it's a little one like waiting for a speeder. His speed gun sat on his dash as he kept a close eye on it. He saw a car start to speed up, so he grabbed the speed gun and got the speed of the car. It read that the car was going seven miles above the speed limit. The cop turned over his engine and drove out with his siren blaring. He caught up to the speeder. The man behind the wheel slowed down and pulled over.
The cop got out and walked over to the driver's window, which slid down carefully. The driver was a feline who had the look of innocence, but seemed to be hiding something with a strange cheshire grin. His features seemed to show that he was at least in his thirties.
"What's the problem, officer?" asked the feline with that innocent yet subtly unnerving grin. The cop just brushed it off as normal.
"Don't you realize that you were going seven miles above the speed limit?" Kevin asked.
"Oh, sorry officer. You see, I wear glasses and they fell off as I was driving. I must of stepped on the accelirator as I went down to grab them. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble," the feline said. His face seemed to show that he was indeed sorry of his folly.
"Can I see some liscence and registration?" asked Kevin. The feline pulled out his driver ID and handed it to Kevin. He went over to his glove box and rummaged through it. He produced the registration forms and handed them to Kevin. He looked them over and gave them back to the feline.
"Everything checks out fine. Now, I need you to step out of the car, sir. Just a little test," said the canine. the feline complied and stepped out. He had a cigarette pack in his paw and it seemed to be a very expensive pack.
Kevin put the feline through the usual things to test if the man was drunk. The man passed them all with flying colors. The canine brought the feline over to his cop car.
"You passed, but I still have to give you a ticket for speeding," said Kevin as he pulled out his pad filled with the little traffic violations. He wrote it up and gave it to the feline and said: "Let's not have this happen again."
"It won't," said the feline. His cigarette pack slipped from his paw and bounced under Kevin's cop car. "Whoops," said the feline, "you mind if I get those from under your car?"
"Sure, get them," said the canine. The feline smiled and got on all fours. He then went on his stomach and slid both paws under the car. He stood back up with his pack in paw.
"Now, I hope to never catch you speeding again, because you seem like a real nice guy," said Kevin as the feline stood straight.
"Oh, I promiss you... you won't catch me speeding ever again," said the feline with his strange grin.
"You may go now," said Kevin. The feline went off and and got into his car. The engine turned over and the car took off at the appropriate speed as the dust trail flared up from the tires. Kevin went back to his car. "Nice guy, but what a weird one," he said as he sat down and turned over the engine. The cop then went back to his post to catch anymore traffic violations, but he would soon get an even worse case to handle.
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The feline drove up to a coffe shop at seven thirty at night and stepped out. He walked in and sat in a booth. His sight wandered over to a vixen who was pouring some sugar into her coffee. 'Perfect' he thought and stood up. He walked over to the vixen as she raised her spoon.
"Hello, miss," he said. The vixen, surprised, dropped her spoon on the floor. She went under the table and picked up the spoon. She came back up to the feline who was standing over her. Sorry if I startled you, miss," he apologized.
"Oh, it's fine. I get surprised very easily," she told him. 'She'll do perfectly' he thought.
"Would you mind if I sat down?" he asked in an suave voice.
"Oh no. Go ahead, I need someone to talk to," she answered. The feline smiled and shown his unnerving grin. She shivered a bit but shook it off as he sat across from her. His grin just seemed to be tacked on to his muzzle.
"Delighted to meet you. My name is Damian and you are?" he asked with his unnsettling smile.
"Karen," she answered. She then started to feel strange. Her eyes strated to get heavy, she could barely hold her head up. His grin got bigger and his eyes narrowed as her head fell hard to the table top.
"Hey, is she okay?" asked a customer. His face was full of worry when he had heard the slam.
"Oh, my girlfriend is fine," Damian lied, "she is just a bit narcoleptic. I'll take her home." Everyone in the cafe nodded and went back to the way they were, as if nothing ever happened. He picked her up and threw her on his shoulder. He strolled out to his car and threw her into the back of his car. "Now, my dear, time for the best part," he said as the car engine turned over and he pulled out of the parking lot.
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She awoke chained to a table in a dining room. the dining room had only two doors to enter and exit. She started to struggle at the chains when her captor came in.
"Well, you're finally awake," he said with that same strange grin, "look at the clock." He pointed to the clock and she looked at it. It read about five to midnight. "When that clock hits midnight, I'll come in here do unspeakable things to you that will eventually kill you," he said still pointing. Before she could speak, he crossed the room and went through the other door. She started to struggle some more with more force than before. It took her two minutes till the chains broke. She sat up and got off the table quietly. She went to the door he entered in the room from, and eased the the door open, hoping not to alert the evil feline. She tiptoed down the hallway and came up to a phone. It took her a minute and a half to reach the phone, as the clock read by the phone. She picked it up and dialed 911. A cop answered and she gave the address of where she was as she read it off an adress book that had Damian's address written in it. It took her a minute and a half to do that and hang up. Just then Damian stepped out of the door way that was right next to the phone and pulled a knife from his pocket. She screamed as he slashed at her throat, and he watched the blood trickle from her throat as she fell to the floor. "I'm almost done," he said alloud as his grin got bigger.
Twenty one minutes passed and a lonely cop car came up to the house to find the demestic disturbence. It was Kevin who had recieved the call. He walked up to the house and entered. There stood the same feline he stopped this morning.
"Hello again, officer," said Damian with his evil smirk. Kevin walked in and saw the body on the floor by the phone.
"You're under arrest for murder in the first degree," said Kevin as he snapped Damian into his hand cuffs. He brought Damian out to his car and threw him into the back. He closed the door and called it in on his radio. He then went back into the house to inspect the body. He saw that her throat was cut and no other damage was done to her. This caused eight minutes to be wasted. He came back out of the door and went down the steps. He shook his head at the grinning feline. The feline's paw moved into focus as he saw something in it. The feline mouthed the words "Goodbye" and pressed down on the object with his clawed thumb. The cop car then exploded into a blaze of orange and yellow glory as the car settled back to the ground. Kevin's muzzle fell open in a stupor as he saw his car blow to pieces. It was Half past midnight.
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The cops and ambulaces were all over the place. Many furs were standing outside, watching the entertainment. Kevin sat on the porch of the house as cops and perimedics went in and out of the house, his head in his paws, thinking. A cop approched him and sat a note book infront of him.
"Read that, then you'll know everything that psycho knew," said the cop as he walked off.
Time passed and everyone departed. Furs went back into their homes and the cops and perimedics had left Kevin all alone on the stoop. He grabbed the book and opened it up.
"Dear, Diary," he read alloud, "I have a plan. I kept tabs on all the cops: their car number, how recent they were, and I would wait for a new recruit. I would see the new number and new recruit on the road and I would purposely speed past him. He will pull me over and he would give me the drunk test, which I will pass. He will bring me over to his car. I will be carrying a pack of cigarettes and tilt them a little. I will loosen my grip on them and the pack will fall and slip under the man's I car. I will ask to get them and he will let me. I will get under his car and not only get my pack, but also place a charge under his car. I would then stand up and go back to my car and drive away. Later I will go to the cafe and get the girl I had been noticing at the cafe.
"I noticed her sitting at the cafe for sometime now. Her height was 5'9, just the right height. Her weight didn't matter, as long as it isn't over 230 lbs.
"I've watched her sitting there. She was naive and easily persuaded. She was a vixen and would be the perfect subject to test my plan. She is also easily scared, as she kept on getting startled by the waiter. I would walk over to her and say something as she raises her spoon. The greeting will catch her off guard and she'll drop her spoon. She'll lean down to pick it up. While she does this, I will pour into her coffee just the right amount of some sleep medicine, so that she'll awaken six minutes to midnight. She'll come back up and stir her coffee. I'll sit across from her and introduce myself. She'll start to get sleepy and her head will hit the table. I will tell the customers that she is narcoleptic and that I would take her home.
"She has the strength to pull 180 lbs. by the way her arms and legs look. I will weaken some chains so that after at least 120 lbs. are being pulled on them, so that the chains will break.
"She will wake up at six to midnight and I'll explain to her that at midnight I will kill her. That will take one minute. My dining room only has two doors, so I'll exit the other door, so that she will exit through the door that leads to the hallway phone. I'll go to the door next to the phone and crack it a bit as I'll wait for her to come to the phone. It'll take her two minutes to get loose. She'll go through the door that I came in from and it'll take her a minute and a half to get to the phone. My address in my address book will be open to her. She will call the cops and tell them where she was and that I was going to kill her. This would end at midnight when I'd come out of the door and slit her throat with the knife I grabbed off the kitchen table.
"It will take twenty one minutes for the new recruit to get here, as it takes the cops some time to get to my house from the office. He will be the new recruit I met in the morning with the driving violation. He will come in and arrest me. He will bring me out to the car and call in the reenforcements. He'll go back into my house to investigate the crime. He'll come back out and stand at the top of the steps. This will take eight minutes. He'll walk down the steps and stand there, looking at me in the back of his car. I'll grin and show what would be in my paw. The object will be a detenator. I'll mouth the words "Goodbye" and hit the trigger. I'll die in the explosion and the time will be half past midnight.
"The cops will come and check the house, and one will find this diary. It will be given to the new recruit for him to read it. If he is reading it now, then I am dead and my plan was complete. All I needed was one slow witted new recruit to put my plan into action," he read. He picked his head up. His muzzle was hanging open. "He had planned this the whole time. He knew how everything would work. He knew everything would fall into place, and it did. Forget being three steps ahead, he was a mile ahead of me. If I didn't stop him, this whole thing would have never happened. It's all my fault." He let his arm with the book in it fall to his side. He then remebered that something was written at the bottem of the page and He brought up to his muzzle again. He opened it to the page and read: "The perfect murder for the perfect murderer."
THE END
Bill: Well, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It may not be too good, but it shows how smart some people are.
Shadow: Interesting story.
Darkside: No plot. The killer had no motives.
Bill: Most killers don't have motives. They just go out there and kill just to know what it feels like
Darkside: Ain't that the truth.
Bill: Oh and by the way, furs give this story a fair score. Bye for now.
Darkside and Shadow: Yeah, bye for now.