This Story, This Life.
Red, was all I could see.
Anything else was a blur.
Pain was the next thing I felt.
There seem to be a blade stuck to my chest. I can feel the coolness of the blade. Surprisingly, I am not scared by the discovery but my body breathed heavily on in response to the invasive knife.
I need that particular blade to be out of me now.
I need someone, anyone to pull it out. I could have done it on my own, but... wait a minute. Where were my paws?
This is when I started panicking. I couldn't feel my limbs. Every movement of my chest elicits a sharp pain. Panicking seems to worsen the situation. Adrenaline is making my heart pump more blood. Breathing rate increases.
The pain intensifies.
The pain, the pain,
THE PAIN!!!!!
UUURRRGGGHHH!!!!!
I woke up with a jolt.
Damn, it's one of the nightmares. Again. I seem to be getting more of them lately.
I shook my head and ruffled my head fur. Yawning, I kicked off the blanket and walked across the tiny of mine - it probably took three steps thanks to the bulky furniture - and opened the door. Flicking those triangular ears of mine and rubbing my white belly fur, it seems that no one is at home. It's pretty weird, considering that today was a Sunday. Unless...
I quickly hopped back to my single-sized bed and reached out for my phone. Tapping fervently, I checked and nope, today is definitely Sunday. So where are....
Ah. Who cares. Leaning back, I closed my eyes in determination to have a good dream this time.
RIING!
Just that instant when I closed my eyes?! I grumbled before reaching out to grab my phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, is there anything you want to eat?" It is Mom. "I saw that you were sleeping soundly earlier on, so I didn't want to wake you to eat out."
"Anything will be fine, yeah, thanks."
I put down the phone. Sleeping soundly eh? I snorted. Mom was always like that. She never did understand me anyway. But then again, who ever knows what on earth are you dreaming?
Yeah. I'm always like that. Self-contradicting, linking unlinked things together. (Is there even such a thing?) My friends always said that I am depressing - as in my thinking - and should start thinking positive. But I just can't help it. I mean, it's not like it isn't true in the first place.
Partially due to the fact that I never disclose my problems to anyone due to certain trust issues, the solution people tend to give me when I am unhappy are usually "Live with it and don't think so much about it." How can anyone be contented with such 'help'?
Well, whatever. Ok, I may seem a bit apathetic but there isn't much of a point to think about these thinking, mental problems. But still... ARGH!!
Indecisiveness. This is probably the biggest problem I have. I am just not courageous or confident enough to actually decide on probably anything. Even food.
Gosh.
...
The reflection of an average looking blue (with a bit of white) wolf stared back from the mirror.
How can someone who looks like this be confident of himself?!
A poor scrawny, underweight, bi, lazy, physically unfit mutt?!!
All these things that society rejects..
Who will ever want me?
...