Inner Dilemma

Story by Rivard on SoFurry

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#1 of Inner Dilemma


"Come on Allen, it's only a hundred and fifty pounds. No big deal," the wolf thought to himself as he squatted down to pick up the bar for dead lifts. Allen had done these before, but he always dreaded the day that he and his friends worked on back muscles. These were his least favorite lift to do, squats came in a close second.

"Any day now," said John who was tapping his shoe on the ground "we all have more sets to do and the gym has to close sometime." John was a tall, but fairly skinny fox that ran cross-country in high school. He was the one who knew all of the exercises for each muscle group. He's not the incredibly huge meathead you see everyday at the gym, but he had quite the muscle tone.

Allen just shook his head and took a deep breath as he wrapped his paws around the bar and lifted. He let his air out as he extended his legs and stood up. His stood there for only a quick moment before bending over and bending his legs. One.

This process continued, two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight. Letting that bar down that final time always felt great. Allen stood up as he could already feel the soreness begin in his lower back as he walked over to John. "Happy now?" Allen asked sarcastically.

"Well that's only one set. Now let's raise it up to 165." John said smiling was he got more weights to put on. Watching John do his set made it look easy. He could do them with ease, at least it looked that way. Allen could see his forearm muscles swelling up as he worked. God his arms looked good, and his legs, his chest and...'Damn it Allen, get it together!'

Yes, Allen is gay. It's a fact that only he knows and he has kept it that way since high school. He wasn't the stereotypical flamboyant gay that homophobes always fear of, he didn't think that his sexual preference had to change how he acted. Nobody ever suspected it and no one ever asked. It's not like his friends and family were homophobic, but they did crack jokes about gays and lesbians and were a little weirded out by it.

John broke Allen out of his thoughts as he threw the lifting belt at him with a simple "Your turn."

Allen took is and got ready for round two. Bar in paws, he lifted the heavy weight up, down, up, down. It seemed to get heavier as the set continued. Finally, face covered in sweat, Allen finished it. He looked up at John with a pleading look, "could the last set be the same amount of weight?"

John just laughed, "If we did that, then it would be too easy."

"There's nothing easy about it"

"Yeah, well if it were easy, then everybody would do it."

He had a point there. "So how much to we add on?"

"Put a ten on each side."

That's 185 pounds for those too lazy to do math. Allen had never done anything that much, or close to that much. Thankfully, John went first so that Allen could get a glance to see how John handled it. John seemed to get through it, but with some difficulty. Since the weight was so high, he only did four. Then, it was Allen turn.

Allen got into the all-too-familiar start position, got mentally focused with a few 'You can do this,' 'Man up Allen,' and 'just get it over with.' Allen then lifted it up and...holy crap it was heavy! One. It didn't seem to get any easier. Two. Is this going to end? Three. Screw John for making me do this. Four. And he was done.

It hurt Allen to stand back up. "Okay, we're done. I'm getting a milkshake and falling asleep." He and John walked back to the locker room and headed to the showers. The showers there are divided and have curtains so Allen couldn't sneak a peek at John while he was showering which sucked, but at the same time, it did prevent from an embarrassing situation.

John led the charge to one of the dining halls on campus, Devin's, that was open late. Even though it's late winter, there's always a long line for milkshakes. It always seemed longest whenever Allen wanted to get one, but it was worth the wait. Both John and Allen got cookies 'n crème milkshakes. They sat down and talked about classes, sports, and other "guy" stuff.

"Alright," John yawned as he stood up, "I got to go to bed. I got an 8 a.m. class tomorrow and I can't keep sleeping through it.

They got up and left Devin's to where the residence halls were on campus. They got the point where they had to separate.

"Goodnight John"

"Goodnight Allen. Have fun being sore tomorrow."

Allen headed to his dorm and then into his room. He had it to himself because his roommate just lives in his girlfriend's apartment, except on parent's weekend. Allen didn't mind though. He got along with other people in his hall. Allen stripped his shirt off, kicked off his shoes and socks and then slid his shorts and boxers to his ankles.

Allen climbed onto his bed naked and laid down. He reached down and caressed his balls lightly. He loved that feeling. The he grabbed his sheath and started to massage it. There was only one thing on his mind.

"John" Allen murmured as he exhaled.

He can imagine it now, John's muscular body standing naked in front of him, smiling. Allen kept his eyes closed as he let the fantasy continue. He felt his cock come out of its sheath at full hardness and he started to stroke it.

He let his imagination run wild.

Allen was on his knees licking at the tip of John's cock and then letting it slip into his maw. He started to bob his head rhythmically as John let off moans of satisfaction. Allen took a hold of John's balls with one paw and started a pattern of rubbing, fumbling, and squeezing. Pre soon started to leak out of John's cock and Allen happily licked up its sweet salty taste. Soon John started moving his hips back and forth as he let pleasure take over his body movements. Allen kept up the blowjob until John pushed his head back.

A devilish grin came across John's face, "I think you know what to do now." That was the only prompting that Allen needed as he got on his hands and knees. He felt a wet finger rubbing at his entrance and Allen stuck his ass up in the air as John's finger entered him. John teasingly moved his finger around and then added a second one to Allen's satisfaction. He moved them in and out until he felt that Allen was ready. John aligned his manhood against Allen's tailhole, and pushed in.

Allen gasped as he was being stretched. John didn't stop pushing in until his knot came in contacted with Allen's hole. John pulled out almost all the way, leaving the tip inside and the shoved it back in. John kept a rhythm as Allen moved his hips in tune with John. Allen was in heaven as he moaned to the pleasure.

Allen opened his, away from his fantasy, as he knew he was near his peak. He moved one hand over his penis as the other one squeezed his knot and after only a few moments of that, he climaxed. Shots of cum flew onto Allen's chest as he breathed heavily. He lay in his bed in the afterglow of his fantasy when he decided that he had to take a shower or else he'd have to get all of the dried up cum off of his fur.

In the shower, all Allen could think of was John and whether or not he should come out to him. He did not want to destroy the friendship that they had. Was it worth losing over his sexual orientation? Allen got out of the shower and put on a pair of boxers before climbing into bed.

He had to take a leap of faith. But he was afraid; he didn't know how to do it or how John would react.

I have to do this.

Allen grabbed his phone and started a text.

"Hey, I need to talk to you tomorrow after classes. It's important."

This is it.

Send it.

Don't send it.

The battle in his head couldn't stop. Allen thought that his head was going to explode. Allen just stared at the text for a few minutes as his finger hesitated over the SEND button. His heart was racing.

"Fuck" was all Allen could say as his finger pushed...DELETE.

**********

Thanks for reading this! This is my first story and I had to do it to lose my writing virginity. Please comment with any constructive criticisms, if you liked it, if you didn't like it, all that jazz. I wasn't planning on continuing this, but if you want to, I'll try to.