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When I woke up, that sweet sex smell from a few hours ago still filled the room. The air was so musky and thick that the scent of our juices almost congealed in it, sedating us further. I had some sense of purpose in my blood that morning, and the clarity it brings. A smile crept up my lips... For the first time in years, I had a goal. I had the means and ways to control my destiny, and today was going to be the turning point in my life.

I felt it in my blood.

Gnat dozed as he always did on my chest, and the rays of sunlight baked our fur. Normally, I would have just led there, waiting to die or... Or something. This decrepit old squat had served us well, but today, I was sure that I would be seeing the end of this squalor once and for all. I slipped out from underneath Gnat and stretched widely.

"Morning, lover," came a voice, muffled in a yawn from behind me. Gnat was already sat up and eager to head out. I hadn't even told him we were going anywhere.

He felt it in his blood.

"Gnat, today we are going out to eat in a restaurant, among civilised people."

"We don't have any money."

"That's what's going to change today," I said with finality.

Gnat looked up at me, with a humorous grin on his face. He looked focused, but his eyes seemed to gaze right through me. I knew that look. I had seen it on his face yesterday, and the day before.

"What's that look for?" I asked.

He led back down on the moth-eaten sofa, twiddling his thumbs and looking absent-mindedly up at the unstable ceiling.

"You talk like you did when we were touring twenty years ago... That sense of finality and assertion in your voice, and enthusiasm," said Gnat with an air of wonder. I stared at him for a long time... He really loves me. "I love you, Gnat," I confessed.

"Now who's the fag?" was the response.

We left with no feelings for what had served as our home for the past two decades. There was no feeling of contempt, no feeling of attachment, and there won't be any feelings of longing and homesickness.

My companion and I trotted two miles in the cool morning air until we reached Baseline Recordings. I entered gingerly and approached Jack's big-chested rat secretary, twiddling my thumbs and not finding the courage to look her in the eyes. She had a delicate face, but it was an assertive one. Just like her voice...

"How can I help you?" she asked in that caressing tone.

"I need to speak to Jack. It's Jared," I said. She pressed a button on a machine and spoke into it.

"Mr Adams, Jared is here to see you."

"J- Jared? Is - is he armed?" was the nervous response.

She scanned my body. My clothes were too thin and tight to conceal any weaponry.

"No."

"Well, send him in, I - I guess."

I sniggered. His fear was almost comical to me, but I felt bad and swallowed it. The day I take pleasure in causing others misery is the day I put a slug in my head. Gnat followed me into Jack's office and stood in front of the door. It was a sort of subtle intimidation on his part... Not too obvious to trigger aggression or fear, but enough to cause an air of discomfort. Jack was trying his best to remain calm, but his shaking wasn't helping things. His hands were entwined and shaking so much that they caused his glass of whisky to fall off the desk and smash on the floor next to a spider plant. Jack loved his spider plants.

Sadness fell over me. I didn't like having this kind of power. Making people fear me is something I don't take pleasure in.

Jack didn't talk to me. He just sat and stared wide eyed.

"Hey, I'm sorry about the other night..."

The rat behind the desk instantly relaxed when I uttered those words. "Don't worry about it. Take a seat. Now that we're both thinking rationally, we can talk about... What is you wanted to see me about?"

Me and Gnat were seated by the time he had finished his sentence. Gnat smiled, just glad for some fresh company, and I couldn't look Jack in the eye.

"We need work," I sighed. "Just need some money." The rat stood up and walked to his blinds. He peered out of them.

"I'm very sorry, but there's no work here for either of you. I struggle enough just paying my own way, and my receptionist Laura takes up a good portion of my budget."

He turned back to us and looked sadly down to the desk. "My label is dying," he confessed... Those words seemed to hang in the air for a good while. It was like he had just announced he had some form of terminal illness. "It's been forever since we've signed anyone, and it's been a struggle ever since you went missing. All our major artists moved on." He returned to his seat and put a hand to his forehead. "We won't last much longer," he said solemnly.

My hopes seemed to die along with Baseline Recordings... I was so sure that he would welcome us with open arms, and I and Gnat would never have to sleep on the streets again. Stupid thought, really. But then he spoke...

"But I passed a message on to your parents last night, in Denver. Once I got over the shock of Wednesday's... Events, I thought your ma and pa would want to know their only son wasn't pushing daisies."

I stared into my lap, picking my fingernails in deep thought. Finally, I looked up at him. "Did you hear anything back?" I asked. "Course I did. Spoke to them on the phone... Your mother was in shock. It's quite a thing to find out your dead son is alive after all, twenty years later."

He slid a card to me across the table. I examined it curiously:

96 Colfax Street

Denver

Colorado

"It's your parent's address," he said, noticing my curiosity. "They want to see you. No surprise, really."

I knew I had to get there, but I didn't exactly want to... My poor mother would likely be in tears when she got the news I was still kicking, but it gave me a sense of purpose, and I will not have Gnat live in squalor for a day longer. With a simple nod, I stood up and headed for the door, but stopped in my tracks.

"But Denver is two hundred miles from here," I said with a resigned look on my face. But Jack had planned for such a reaction, and threw a key at me. It hit me painfully on the temple and clunked to the floor. After a brief groan of pain, I bent down and picked up the key.

"That's the key to my Ford Fiesta. It's the red one out front. Least I could do," he replied, grinning. I thought for a while, eyes glassy... "Thanks, I guess." In my heart, it was enough for Jack's atonement. He also slid a wad of cash across his desk. "That's all I can spare for gas money. Fill it right up and keep the rest. It should be enough to get you to Colorado," he said with certainty. The look in his eyes was one of a man who had made peace with the world, and, more importantly, himself.

"Thanks, again, Jack," I replied with sincerity as I stuffed it in my wallet. He smiled weakly and waved me away. "Go on, fuck off. You've caused me enough trouble." I threw up a middle finger and left. It was more respectful than a wave or thumbs up had ever been to either of us.

I left without a glance at the busty receptionist and held the front door open for my lover. He nodded in appreciation and stepped into the street, turning to face me.

"So we're going to Denver?" Gnat asked. It wasn't really a question, just a confirmation of plans that gave him security. I smiled widely and put an arm around him. "We sure are," I replied, and we walked hand in hand to our new car. The thing was red, dusty and old, but it was a sturdy, reliable machine. I turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared into life.

We met each others eyes. His were lit up with wonder and excitement, as were mine. Two months ago, I would have spat in your face if you told me I could ever feel this way again, but I did. We pulled out into the street and began to drive idly around a few blocks. There wasn't much in the way of traffic, which made for pleasant driving.

"There's $600 here, Jared," said Gnat, as I pulled up to a traffic light. We were close to the city centre now, which was evident in the traffic roaring past the intersection. It took me a while to process this information. "$600, you say?" We met each others frown. We could make this trip twice over with that kind of money. Only a small portion of it would be needed for gas. Gnat gave a grunt of affirmation, and a car beeped behind me. I hadn't noticed the light was now green. I quickly pulled out and turned left down Main Street.

"I think it's conscience money, more than gas, hun," he said. Conscience money... That made sense. "You have a point," I replied as we drove.

Eventually, I pulled over outside a busy restaurant named "The Morning Sun". We were lucky to get a parking spot. From the outside, it looked like a warm, friendly place, but modern. It looked like the kind of place that would try to pass off an appetizer as the main course; Minimalistic culinary... What bullshit. They would serve you less food and charge you more, the greedy fuckers. Regardless, I took Gnat's hand and led him in after locking the car.

We found ourselves a quiet booth in the corner and looked through the menus. Both of us were starving, and the way the menus described the food was novel to Gnat. He would keep reading out the descriptions of dishes he found particularly appetizing, almost foaming at the lips. Now, beggars can't be choosers, but I don't like being told how something should taste. It makes me think the chef is self-conscious of his abilities, but it's just business. Then I realised I didn't give a fuck and chuckled to myself. I found Gnat's enthusiasm cute and heart-warming; his appetite was something I always envied... I'm a skinny fucker, and would do a lot for just a little pudge on my belly.

A man with an appetite is a happy man indeed.

A rather pudgy Dalmatian approached us, with a hearty smile on his face and a spot over his left eye. "Are you gentlemen ready to order?" he enquired. I gave Gnat an inquisitive look, who then turned his focus to the waiter. "I'll have the chicken and mushroom pie." The waiter scribbled furiously on his notepad and turned to me. "I'll have what he's having," I said and sniggered to Gnat. It had sounded so cheesy to both of us. "Oh, and a cappuccino - uh, make that two," I added after noticing Gnat's ears perk up. He made some more scribbles, wished us a pleasant meal and headed into the kitchen.

Gnat was gazing at me dreamily. I blushed and tilted my head down, but met his eyes. Now, I don't want to sound vain, but that's a look I've seen a thousand times over from my fans back in the day, but Gnat's gaze gave me butterflies. It felt much stronger when you returned their feelings. When it started to verge on awkwardness, I broke the silence.

"You were quiet back at Baseline."

"It seemed more personal to you that it ever would have been to me. As long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

"I am too, my love."

We leaned over the table and locked lips. I loved the taste of his maw, the lapping of his tongue and the artistic dancing of tongues. A moan escaped my mouth... I couldn't help it. This rabbit makes me swoon. But why have I only realised this shit? After what felt like an eternity, our lips parted. I felt lightheaded and rested my elbows on the table. The rabbit looking lovingly back at me.

"Gnat?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did I only realise I love you the other night?"

Gnat reached across the table and took my hand.

"Well hun, there were a number of barriers to cross before either of us could embrace it; drug addiction, mental issues, things to work past. We needed to get our shit together before we could commit to each other like this. If we didn't, we would have destroyed each other."

He said all of this to me while looking me straight in the eye; something neither of us could have done a short while ago. Gnat was right. Two months ago, Gnat was nothing but a husk: emotionless and dead. Now look at the lovable bastard! I laughed to myself again. It made me look weird in public, but old habits die hard, and fuck everybody else anyway.

"I guess you're right," I said as his hand rubbed my own. "Too jacked up, I suppose, amongst other things."

Our coffee arrived, and it was then we realised the trip to Colorado had totally slipped our minds.

"Jared, you think your parents will be happy to see you?"

"Happy isn't the word. They'll shit their pants when they see me."

"What about us? You know..."

I looked up at him. Amidst all this introspection, my relationship with Gnat had seemed so very right to me, but it came back to me that society hates people like us (Disconnection from the rest of the world makes you lose sight of these things). Luckily this wasn't an issue.

"Gnat, my love," I laughed. "My mother is bisexual, but she married my father. She won't give two fucks."

"No shit?" He said with a wide, relieved grin.

"No shit."

We drained the last of our coffee in reflection, stupid grins on both our faces. Gnat still had the natural curiosity that came with rabbitry. It was a curiosity that had been dangerous in the past, but fuck it.

The same pudgy Dalmatian brought us our pie, which we both tucked into greedily, not caring for knives and forks. It burned my tongue, but I didn't care. Food is food and I needed it in my stomach as quickly as possible. Gnat ate in the same manner. I wiped his mouth for him, savouring the romance of it all before paying the bill on the way out and taking my leave.

The meal had only cost us $17.75, but I would have paid $100 for it... You find that the first hot meal you have in three weeks gets five stars even if you ate it in a gutter. Gnat was about to open his mouth, but I shushed him. "No need to thank me," I said, and he gave me a kiss on my cheek as I approached our red Ford Fiesta.

"We're gonna fill up, then off to Denver," I said. It took us ten minutes to reach the city limits gas station; the midday traffic was pretty light due to everyone lunching. I paid for $100 of premium, unleaded petrol and pulled out onto the highway.

Bellies full, drugs out of our veins; this is how life is meant to be.