Ty's Other Taur-iffic Adventure
This is from the 2009 TSA Christmas Story Exchange (story written by Mr. Peaches, and features Ty and his yet-undrawn sister, Vixy. So if anyone wants to earn some money drawing Ty and Vixy together, let me know!)
Ty and Vixy are mine.
As a geyser of cola splashed onto Ty Solpine's crimson shirt on a bumpy and isolated road in the Pacific Northwest, he turned to whisper a very important question to his sister Vixy:
"Why did Mom let us go on a camping trip with this crazy Russian man, again?
He showed up, what, three months ago claiming she was his long-lost sister?"
"I think it was the combination of the positive DNA test, the negative criminal history check, and the barrel of Russian vodka," Vixy replied.
"Ah."
"VEE ARE ALMOST THERE, LEETLE RELATEEVES! BEST SITE FOR CAMPING I HAVE EVER BEEN SEEING! HA HA HA!" a living tank of a man roared from the front seat..
"Okay, Uncle Ivan!" Vixy confirmed.
"YOU FORGET NAME! AM *CRAZY* UNCLE IVAN! HA HA HA HA!"
"Ha, ha! You sure are a... character there so did Mom hand you a taser too before we left?" Ty said, dropping his voice for the last bit.
"And a can of Mace."
"... Huh."
In short order, the three arrived at the remote campsite. "Well," Ty whispered to his sister as Ivan drank from his hip flask, "It's the middle of nowhere, in the middle of winter, and we're all alone with a Russian man
we barely know. I think now's about the time he hefts the axe."
"NOW, LEETLE ONES!" Ivan boomed, hefting an axe.
"WAAAAAUGH!" The siblings screamed.
"... Now I go to cut wood!" Ivan finished, kicking open the door and stepping outside. "Make yourselves at home in leetle cabin! I come back in very short time and make BEEG, BEEG FIRE!! HA HA H A HA HA HA!" With that, he tromped into the woods, leaving Ty and Vixy alone.
"He didn't happen to leave the keys in the ignition, did he?" mused Ty.
"Ty!!"
"What? I was just kidding..."
"No, Ty, look! Look outside! Something really weird is going on!"
Ty peered out of the frost-lined window. "...Foxes?"
The campsite was a small affair, with a small cabin, wrap-around porch, a picnic table and a grill. The scant layer of snow was stained in red, and not in the metaphorical, someone-got-shot way. For in the clearing was the greatest collection of foxes and fox-related merchandise that the siblings had ever seen! Foxes chased each other. Foxes sat on the picnic table! Foxes sat in trees, chased little red remote-controlled cars, stared longingly at meat on the bone standing upright in random places, or peeked in and out from under the cabin! There were old foxes, young foxes, white foxes, black foxes, and so many, many red foxes! FOXES.
Quite out of words, the two in the RV stared at what must be, they surmised, the Foxacolypse, until Vixy tilted her head inquisitively.
"Do you hear something... scratchy?" she inquired.
"It sounds like someone's scratching a record." Ty mused. Soon the scratching stopped.
"Now there's music..." Vixy said.
"Kind of catchy," Ty replied. "Let's go out there!"
"That hardly seems like a good idea!"
"Oh, c'mon, they'll all probably run away when we open the door. Besides, we'd better make sure Uncle Ivan hasn't taken a notion to make a new coat."
The lad opened the door to the sunny clearing, cool and fox-scented air puffing inside. As they set foot in the shallow snow, from underneath the RV came a wee little figure no bigger than a soda can. It wore a little green shirt and a little red scarf, and had a head shaped like a Tootsie Roll set upon its shoulders like the top of a T. It pushed a strange sort of lumpy ball before it, roughly the size of a large grapefruit and colored white, red, and black. The little creature was industriously rolling its ball over pine needles and small pine cones, which stuck to the ball with a little "pluck" sound. There was no sign of Uncle Ivan, but there were tracks leading away roughly in the same direction as the wee little man.
"... Well that's just silly." Vixy stated. The two strode forward, after the little creature, who was now rolling up large pine cones and small rocks.
They passed the picnic table, on which was set various food items on fox-themed table mats. It was mostly bowls of some sort of noodle dish, which Vixy recognized as the Japanese cuisine "kitsune with noodles."
"Who set all this food out here? It's all hot and looks fresh, but Ivan told us we were the only ones here..." Ty wondered.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's try to get the axe-wielding Russian man back," Vixy replied. But alas, it was quickly evident that there was no way to escape this clearing; some strange barrier had encircled it on all sides that the duo could not pass. Ivan's tracks continued over a fence beyond this border; apparently, he had escaped before the mysterious force had closed in. Not only were they trapped, but...
"That ball's getting bigger!" Vixy observed. And so it was, now rolling around at some two feet high, the wee little green man still pushing at the bottom with all his might. The original orb was now invisible, and all that could be seen was a big bundle of fox place mats and fox-ear headbands and even little fox kits, swishing their little tails frantically. Luckily the little ones appeared unharmed as the ball busily collected more stuff.
Opening the door to the cabin to look for a phone proved to be a mistake for Ty and Vixy, as the wee man quickly scurried past the increasingly panicked siblings (picking up the fox doormat on the way) and going on a rampage inside, plucking up books and lamps and even the little TV. Now at four feet in height, the ball began to grow in earnest, popping out the kitchen window and picking up yipping vulpines outside by the score as it made the rounds.
"Vixy, we've got to get into the RV again!!" Ty said, quickly making a prediction. "It's going to be big enough to get us next... whatever 'it' is!!"
"But it won't be big enough to get in through that window again!" Vixy cried, one of her feet subconsciously tapping to the catchy music that continued to play. "We can just shut the cabin door and-"
*PLUCK*
"To the RV!" Vixy said as the ball and door rolled away outside. Like fugitives they made their escape when the foxball rolled around the corner.
The campsite was now almost free of foxes and fox-related things, and the siblings had a pretty good idea of where they'd gone. Yet never had forty feet felt so long. "Run!" Ty cried.
Vixy had the RV door open when the revving began. The siblings looked over their shoulders, in time to see the foxball come bouncing around the corner, a fearsome nine-foot orb of fur and nicknacks, nearly nine feet high. It began spinning in place, air whipping about it.
"Ruuuun!" cried a three-tailed fox as it dove under the RV. The foxball charged, fast as a rabbit, a race car, a great wind!"
"Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo!" Ty slow-motion dived forward, and pushed his sister into the RV, closing the door after her.
*WHUMPH* *pluck* The big ball of stuff slammed Ty against the RV, but there was no pain. Instead, as the ball backed up and began rolling around the camp again, there was only a strange sense of peace. Also, it was really
soft and furry, what with all the foxes and all. It was even fun, in a really really trippy sort of way.
"Aww, man, he got me," said a kitsune that got stuck to his chest. Soon the picnic table and some logs from the cabin blocked his view completely. For some minutes there was only rolling that got more and more muffled, then a silence. After some time, there was a feeling of being tossed up and down as if in a great hand, and at last a dizzying ascension that collapsed into a warm, furry nothingness.
Thus did the FoxyFox Planet come into being, as the King of All Cosmos begrudgingly praised his little, Tootsie-Roll-headed son for his large fox-themed katamari, and threw it high, high into the cosmos, where it became a red, furry world dedicated to the wily fox, and all things foxlike..
On this planet, time passed, moving faster in relation to Earth's. Fox families chased rabbits, and had grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Kitsune invited all their friends and relations up to hang out, and it would in time become the Travel Channels Number One Vacation Spot for Fox Spirits..
The goddess Inari sent stern letters to the King of All Cosmos protesting her inaccurate portrayal as the goddess of foxes, but decided to just roll with it and set up a vacation home there.
Happy days came and went, and in the center of the planet, all the while Ty Solpine floated around in a strange sort of limbo, in the nexus of all the planet's fox-forces. Over time, hairless skin became covered with lustrous black fur accented by white on the belly, round ears grew pointed, and a flatter face grew long and sharp. When the changes were done, the effect of the Fox Force started making him big.
Really big.
On the Rabbith day of the month of Lottachikkin, all the foxes gathered together to watch the annual eruption of Mount Poofytail, during which the mountain would shoot great bits of excess Fox-force into space. This year, a particularly big piece drew many appreciative yips, and the light it cast as it rocketed toward distant blue Earth provided lots of smooching time for the FoxGlove University Rassling Team and their girlfriends.
It was a lone rogue hiker that saw the huge meteorite hit, some ten miles out form the campsite where the brother and sister had gone missing 6 days, 15 hours and 24 minutes prior. A wave of energy and wind rolled over him and he spontaneously morphed into a were-fox, but that's another story.
Ty came to, feeling groggy. He got to his four feet and stretched out his arms to either side, smelling the piny air.
"... Wait." He looked down.
"EYAAAAAAUGH!" Towering over the trees, Ty looked down at his furry, fox-taur self. Ears flat with amazement, he clutched his bare chest and looked back over his rump, causing it to jump in surprise and knock some trees over.
"Aaah! No no no!" The giant creature hit the dirt, rump sticking up in the air, trying to hold the tree upright with his hand paws. After some failed attempts, he settled on setting it down apologetically. "Sorry, little tree...
"... Ty?" Came a familiar voice nearby.
"... Vixy?! Where are you? How did you escape the.. the..." he trailed off as an anthropomorphic vixen emerged from a small crater in front of him and bushed ash off of her shiny red fur.
"Erm, I didn't," she smiled sheepishly.