The Redeem: Chapter 3
#3 of The Redeem
*Previous Chapter: * http://www.sofurry.com/page/221648/
A little late today, sorry! Some thngs going on delayed this chapter. But as promised, on Saturday. As always, me and kergiby appreciate any questions and comments, as well as helpful criticism. Enjoy!
I woke up to the rising sun in the arms of Jason. Even though he had told me he wouldn't hug me, it seems he did it anyways. I wondered whether he did it purposely, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Yesterday hadn't been the most pleasant of days, but I didn't feel the need to ruin this day by starting an argument. That was the last thing I needed right now. Besides, the morning was too beautiful to feel angry at Jason. I still resented being stuck with him, but I didn't feel the need to complain right now.
Gently pushing Jason's arms off of me, I stood up and stretched, taking a moment to clear the sand out of my shoes and wonder what today would bring. My mind drifted back to yesterday, and I couldn't help but give another shudder, this time out of disgust. The broken feline's body flashed again my mind, and the familiar feeling of being watched drifted back to me. I looked over to the sleeping Samoyed behind me, and whispered, "I hope you can protect me Jason...This place is giving me more and more bad vibes." I breathed deeply and took in the scent of the rising sun and arid sand. The smell of dust, heat and dried shrubs came to my nose. No water though. I sighed and went back to Jason's side. I decided it was time to move on, and start walking for the morning. "Jason, wake up. We need to start moving." As my hand approached his arm, I felt a wave of heat coming off of Jason. Aw heck no. Moving closer, I placed my hand on his forehead, and held it there for a second. Jason had a fever. I sighed in frustration. I didn't need this; some angry side realized that I could just leave him here. It would all be done...but I couldn't. My mind flashed again visions of the feline corpse, and I felt awful for even thinking of abandoning Jason. Trust him, care for him...was there a difference? All I knew was that I would need his help sometime in the future...I grunted angrily as I realized that right now he needed me. Summoning whatever strength I had left, I threw his arm over my shoulder and shook him awake. He was barely registering my signals to him. The fever felt pretty bad, and he could only grunt, giving pained cries, as his did his best effort to help me help him out. "Jason, you better not die here, or I'll kill you!" I said angrily.
Helping him to his feet, I reached into his pockets and felt for the flask from yesterday. I needed him as awake as I could. The spirits should do the job. Raising it to his lips, I realized he wasn't awake enough for him to drink for himself. I sighed once more. "Jason."
"Yeah...?" he said, pain and tiredness notable in his voice.
"Try to drink this. It's strong, so don't spit it out." I merely saw him nod, and I placed the flask to his lips. It was critical that he didn't waste a drop. He opened is dry lips, and took a few drinks, but soon the flavor overtook his taste buds, and he coughed out the rest, all over me and the greedy sand. "Dammit, Jason! You idiot! You wasted what little liquid we had left!" I slumped to my knees and sighed angrily.
"I'm sorry." Jason said. I noticed he had gained a little more strength back in his eyes. "It woke me up though, so I can walk now..." I could tell he was using all he had in him to move. Why was a fever so damn debilitating!?
"Well...come on then. Don't let this fever fry what little of your brain you have left..." As I began walking, I noticed Jason give a stumbling step, and I realized I would have to hold his hand. "Why didn't you drink the damn flask! I was fine! I could have gone another day without liquids..." I was frustrated. I didn't want to be with Jason, but I didn't want him to die either. Jason could only say sorry. His head hung low, both from fever and sadness. I hoped he wouldn't die on me.
It sucked to have to hold Jason's hand. I didn't even want to touch him! Turning my feelings on him, I yelled, "I can't believe you got a fever! You're so damn weak! I thought being forsaken in this damn desert was bad, but noooo, the fates had to go prove a point and strand me here with YOU!" Again Jason said nothing. Something smug inside me felt warm and hot, and it was obvious that Jason agreed with me, or he would defend himself from me. I shivered as satisfaction, or what I initially thought was satisfaction, descended to my gut like a lump of stone. What I was feeling was guilt. I wouldn't stray from making Jason feel my pain. I gripped his hand, and walked faster, hoping to add more discomfort to Jason.
My anger and pain swirled in my stomach and I began yelling at Jason again. "What I hate the most about being here stuck with you is that everything about you here only adds to my grief! I came here to get away from you! To get away from my pain, and yet, here you are. Why! WHY?! I hate you Jason!" I wanted to hurt him as he had hurt me. My mind searched for what were the most painful things I could say. "Why were we ever friends? I was so stupid... I wish I'd never met you." I couldn't see Jason's eyes anymore. He had stopped looking forward, and instead stared at the ground. He looked so different from when I first met him. I remembered when I first met him, and the beauty of his coat dazzled me. His pale blue eyes were so striking, so attractive, it made my stomach flutter. Back then, I just thought that he was cool. It didn't realize how much my body was telling me. Now, as I looked at him, he only looked like a shadow of his former self. His coat had lost its snowy luster. His eyes lacked the confidence they once had. Had I broken him? I really hoped I did. I wanted him to feel the crushing pain that he had made me feel. I could never humiliate him here, not like he did to me, but I hoped that he would feel miserable. I wanted his encounter with me to be his chance to suffer, not to redeem himself.
I stopped, and turned to him. "Look at me Jason. I want you to see my eyes. I want you to see how much I despise you. Everything about you pains me. You want to know why? ...Because I killed myself because of you. I am here in in this forsaken land, due to you. So why don't you smile? I did what you asked. I did you a favor! I killed myself. Aren't you happy? Now walk." I started moving forward, but found myself pulling on what felt like a statue. Jason hadn't looked back down to the floor; instead, he just looked at me with a deep amount of shock and grief. I kept tugging on him, but he wouldn't move. He just sort of slumped to the floor and sat there. At this point I knew what I had done. I had broken him. I had pushed him over the edge. Rather than to feel some happiness, I felt worse. I had subjected Jason to the same pain I had felt. It didn't make me feel any better. My anger and pain was not worse. If anything it had only doubled. I couldn't even look at him. I fell back into the sand, and hugged my knees to me. Even though I had been the one to hurt him, I was the one that cried. I realized I was worse than Jason.
I don't know how long we sat there; in complete silence. I just cried for the longest time, and Jason stayed quiet. Why had I done this? Looking at Jason, I couldn't bring myself to say the words he had said to me when I first saw him here. I'm sorry. If I could only bring the strength to say that, it would make my time and Jason's here in the land of the dead a little bit better. But my strength was gone. Every word I wanted to say caught in my throat as if the desert had left me dry. My throat felt dry. Suddenly, I was felt everything I had held back these past few days: thirst, hunger, and exhaustion. I lay back into the sand, and felt my tears dry on my face and whiskers. My mind wandered back to that day.
The day I had killed myself was relatively calm. I had been relatively numb to the world after Jason said what he did. Like a mechanical doll, everything I did was without emotion, or awareness. I just moved on my own. That day, I snapped back to reality. I realized I had moved from my hometown. Every friend I ever had was gone. The one guy I liked had scorned me. It hurt. It hurt too much. I just wanted to get away from the pain. In that moment, it didn't occur to me that the pain would slowly fade away. No, I just wanted it gone. Mom and Dad had been so busy with the move that they had been distracted. I walked toward the medicine cabinet. Taking whatever I could find, I hid them from sight and yelled down the hallway of our new to house. I told mom, "I'm gonna take a nap, okay? Please don't bother me." and went into my room. I just ate everything. Every medicine I could take: pills, cough syrup, everything. All I felt was an intense drowsiness overcome me. As I closed my eyes, I hoped that my attempt wouldn't fail. I fell into blackness, like any other sleep. When I woke, I was so hot. Face down, I felt the sand in my mouth, and just hated myself for giving in. Suddenly I was aware of how much better I life had been. I threw up my insides, and looked out into the eternal vastness of sand. All I could do was walk. I remembered the first thing I started doing was cry. I had foolishly given up the greatest gift in the world...life. My eyes were tearing, and the great expanse of sand and heat looked at me harshly. I walked.
I realized that I was crying again. Sitting up, I looked up to see Jason still there, in the same position. I briefly wondered how he got here. His words played over in my head. "I came looking for you." Whatever his reason to be here was, I realized that only I could give him redemption. I looked at Jason and tried to force the words out of me. I tried to bring it piece by piece. I began, "Jason. I want to say--" My thought was interrupted as I saw a shadow shift in the corner of my eyes. Had I just seen someone? My stomach dropped as I suddenly remembered the broken feline. In the state that he was in, obviously Jason hadn't noticed anything. He reminded me of the time I spent numb. There was just a huge void in me, and remembering that deep feeling of emptiness just cut me up from the inside. It was a miracle he could listen to me, or react. I knew that if I let whatever was out there keep spying on us, we would come to meet a lot of pain, just like that poor feline did.
Standing suddenly, I yelled out into the desert "You think you're so sneaky, don't you! I know you're there freak! Watching us! I'm not afraid of you! Come on out, you coward!" I noticed the sand shift, and two figures lifted themselves from the sand. I noticed one of them pulled out a knife, and I shuddered in fear.
Though covered in rags, I was able to tell that one was a fox, the other a lizard. They had several bundles of items stuck to them, and I could tell they had been out in this desert for a while. They carried a lot of little trinkets that looked like teeth and bones, amongst other things. As they got closer, the fox began to speak. "Well, well. We were hoping to get to play with you two. Maybe spook you a bit, and watch as you collapsed into a feverish pile a crap. Then we would be nice and slit your throats. Pity we won't be able to have our fun, eh, Benny?" The lizard gave a little sneer, and I heard its hiss of a laugh.
"I ssssay we can ssstill have a little fun with em', George. Jussst like we did with that other kitty." The lizard said.
I let my claws out. I knew that Jason and I were at a disadvantage, but I refused to go out without a fight. "Bring it, you scum!"
The fox named George ran up to me and swung his knife at me. I quickly ducked and lashed out with my thorn sharp claws. I heard material rip and saw that the fox has managed to jump back and avoid my swipe. Before I could react again, I felt a sudden massive force hit me from the side, and through the disorientation and sand, I realized that the lizard had kicked me. "Call me ssssscum, huh?" Rising to my knees, I found myself forked between two assailants. I tried drawing air and realized that my wind had been knocked out of me. Unable to breath, I watched as the two attackers began to crowd me. The fox raised his knife and I heard the lizard hiss "Another kitty to our collection, eh?" With no hope of recovering in time, I shut my eyes and surrendered to my fate; my second death. A shadow swiftly moved and saw the fox get launched back several feet, as a white blur delivered a powerful haymaker. A shiny knife was dropped to the side and the fox dropped several objects that had been attached to him.
Jason had saved me! I tried to gather my wits and use the opportunity that Jason had given me. Still dazed from the kick to my side, I watched as the lizard and fox ganged up on Jason, and began kicking the ever-living shit out of him. The more I watched the more I realized something...Jason wasn't hitting the assholes back! Panic thrilled inside me, and I gathered my strength to stand back up again. Jason just kept taking the punches until one finally managed to make him fall to the floor. The two bastards still didn't stop. They just kept kicking him on the floor, like some kind of soccer ball.
I wanted to yell out, but I couldn't. What was just a few seconds felt like an eternity. Jason was there on the floor crying out with each punt they delivered to his face and gut. It was then that I saw it: the fox's knife. Reaching out slowly, I grasped at the knife and held it in a powerful grip. Still dazed, I wobbled up and used whatever energy remained inside me to run forward, knife pointing in front. Giving a great cry of effort, I shoved my knife into the lizard. The lizard cried out in pain, and kicked me back, holding his side. Both the fox and the lizard stopped hitting Jason, and I realized that these bastards had genuine care for each other, as the fox ran to help his friend. "Benny!" he cried desperately.
The lizard merely hissed in response and said "Quick...take me to them. They'll help usss out...."
The fox looked at us, his eyes watering. "You'll pay for this, you little pricks! I'll send the entire gang after you. Then, we'll rest with your pelts for blankets!" The fox helped his friend, and they both limped away. I didn't watch as they went off into the horizon, instead, I crawled over to Jason and lay down next to him. Was he unconscious? As I lay there, feeling my own exhaustion eat away at my strength, I said "Don't die, okay? ...Please...just don't die." Struggling to get up, I spotted the stuff that had fallen from the foxes pack when Jason had delivered his haymaker. There had to be something there that could help! Dragging myself back to the stuff, I quickly riffled through the stuff and found a canteen. I held my breath and shook it. As a heard a deep gurgle, I relaxed when I realized that the container was pretty full. Breathing a sigh of relief, I used the last of my energy to get back to Jason. "Live. I need you, partner." I unscrewed the neck and poured the water down Jason's throat. As I heard him swallow the water, I let myself close my eyes for a bit and rest.
Once I felt myself back to normal, and the quick beat of my heart slowed down, I opened my eyes. Rising up from the hot sand, I saw the blood on my hands and screamed. Blood bothered me, that's why opted for pills instead of cutting my wrists. And still, I couldn't escape it. My hands were covered in blood, dried on, and caking my fur. "No...no, no, no!" I cried, scraping at my hands in desperation. I couldn't waste water, and I put my hands in the sand so that I wouldn't have to look at them...only to realize that the sand was stained with blood as well. Just how bad had the lizard bled?! I gave a frightened shriek, and jumped back. Shutting my eyes, I began to cry, as I found no relief from the mess of blood on my hands. Even if I had saved Jason, I felt bad. "I hate blood!" I cried. "Get it off of me!" My only choice was to spit in my hands and rub it out. After several minutes of spit-rub-repeat, I opened my eyes and saw that most of the blood was gone. Sighing in relief, I laid back once more. I steadied my breath, and sighed softly. There still more blood to get rid of. I walked over to the spots in the sand with dried blood and kicked them, fury evident.
At the edge of the horizon I could still see them. The fox and the lizard were still walking. The words of the fox played over in mind, and I couldn't help but mutter to myself "Send the entire...gang?"
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