Help me!

Story by Mat and Mari Productions on SoFurry

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I have been working on the second chapter of A glaxie devided and i have hit a brick wall. I need some opinions about this character discription. I will not post until i have opinions! *Note note in the exact context text will be changed later*

I looked in a full length mirror. My broad shoulders, my lean muscles, the mask on my face the white fur bringing out the black "bandit mask". My rippling muscles clearly visible through my thick fur. My scar on my right arm which left discoloration all the way down my arm making me distinguished. My legs were thick and taught with strong muscles. My fur shining with a thick luster, that could only be described as gleaming.