Hope and Dreams part 18

Story by Crownedclown13 on SoFurry

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#18 of h+D


well, here we are, hope you like it. :)

"And fucking your son makes you feel better?".

Squall noticeably flinched, any strength he had fading fast. Arron knew that his actions put to words, that would sting more then if they were left unsaid.

"Arron...". He said looking up, tears rolling into his fur, his eyes glassy with tears. "Wouldn't you have done anything to see Vincent?!". He barked standing up now.

"He's my son for God's sake, and to is mothers possible death bed she hasn't mentioned me to him even once!. As part of the deal I made, I wouldn't get near him. I literally moved 150 miles away from his home, until he turned 18. I swear to God Arron, when you said your son had invited mine to the outing I thought he was watching out for me. Giving me another chance...". He collapsed back down to the couch, angrily knocking everything on the coffee table to the floor in frustration. "But it was just another fuck up. I got him out of jail, or, prison holding or whatever Arron.....If I hadn't been so watchful and had Franco keep me updated on Patti...".

Arron watched Squall do to himself what he had come to do. It was sad, so Arron just let him run his course. Truth was, had Arron been that situation, everything (up until the hormonal imbalanced screw) Squall did for Isaac, he would have done for Vincent; in a heartbeat he would have moved out into the middle of nowhere and built a house as close to Vincent as possible. Franco would have been updating him on his son and his mother. Hell, Arron knew for a fact he would have caved unlike Squall, and gone to see Vincent himself; casting aside any legalities.

Arron sighed. "Squall, look. I know you clearly feel bad about what you did, but I would be doing the same thing". He reassured truthfully, patting his old friend's leg. "Go get some sleep, I'll call you in the morning to see if you're alright. If you need anything call. Oh, and me and Will aren't gonna tell Isaac a thing about who you really are if you don't want us too".

Squall got up. "No. If he ever forgives me enough to talk to me again, I'll tell him. I've caused him enough grief. Thanx Arron, you've always been a true friend". Squall sulked away, and Arron left his friend. A little alone time would be good for them both.

"Arron". Squall called over his shoulder, getting his attention. "There's some honey in the fridge for the big ol' teddy bear". He teased, trying desperately to lighten the mood they would leave on. Trying desperately to keep his only friend.

Arron smiled. "Back to your hole foxy".

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Isaac found himself pulling into the driveway of Vincent's lovely abode. Mr. Cowell had arranged for Will to stop on the side of the road and give Isaac back to him. Arron knew Will was in a tight squeeze money wise, and considering Isaac already had his clothes and guest bed at his house, why not?.

"Promise you'll call us tonight so Nathan knows you're back safe and sound". Mr. Vector had told Isaac before he left. "Nathan and Vincent still don't know where you are after all, or what we had to do with it; We being Arron and I". The wolf attempting to comforting Isaac with a bit of normality over special treatment, but getting nowhere with the dead to the world dog. His silence disturbing, along with his lack of tears, like he had exepted this was how things were and always would be.

That he would forever be the victim and never know comfort or stable true love.

The alibi they came up with, was that Isaac had indeed been in jail for breaking into his home, but Franco had called Arron when Isaac mentioned his family whilst in jail. So that's how they found him.

Isaac wasn't in a scheming mood though; He listened but wasn't listening completely. His eyes stared emptily into the night. It was hard to imagine that forty odd minutes he was as happy as could be, and how easily such happiness crumbles. But that's how it worked, even the most beautiful structure in the world would crumble in seconds if its base disappeared.

And that was a few hours ago. Isaac's eyes were now just starting to gain.....Not a look of wholeness, but less of a look of complete emptiness and solitude. Mr. Cowell's silence was strangely calming, it reminded Isaac of Vincent. A rock, his anchor, un-breaking and un-moving. At the same time, it reminded Isaac of how awful he was. How spoiled, greedy, childish and cowardly he had been. He had run from his problems. He deserved whatever pain he felt.

"Ok Isaac, before we go in". The bear took a deep breath. "I have to talk to you".

Isaac was looking at him, but Arron could see his eyes were looking past him, that he wasn't focused on this moment, but past ones. But even Arron noticed this sad sack was an improvement from the previous hollow shell. As depressing as it was, feeling something, even feeling sadness, was an improvement from feeling nothing, even if it doesn't always seem that way.

"You're a friend of my son's, and to be honest he's taken you disappearing quite well. Not that he isn't worried, he didn't leave the phone these past few days, and sat by it until he left for school each morning". He paused. "But, you're more than that to him I can tell, and he is keeping it together, even if its hard".

Isaac's eyes seemed to clear, like a fog had been lifted. Arron smiled at this, happy that maybe his idea wasn't crazy.

"He is clearly more than just a pal too you too". He continued. "Look Isaac. I can't say this isn't awkward, but umm. I know you and my son are......together". He said after another pause to try and grasp a word he wouldn't regret.

"We aren't actually, he turned me down. So we're just friends". Isaac said emptily, but spewing venom so improving on some level. "Don't get me wrong though; Vincent is....A very good friend to me, and I want it to be more".

He looked around awkwardly. Was he really confiding in Vincent's dad?. "What are you getting at Mr. Cowell?". He asked weakly, clearing his throat.

They stopped talking for a moment, the bear gathering his thoughts. What was he getting at?. "I want him to be happy Isaac. Gay, straight, bi, or whatever else is an option to you crazy kids. I don't care. I just want to see him happy with his life and to.......". He stopped, taking a deep breath, barley managing to look the dog in the eyes. "Isaac, I watch plenty of dads and their son's together doing stuff. Football, cards, fishing, hell, even just sitting around and talking for Christ's sake. Then I see me and Vincent.....". He was trying to find the words.

"It's not the same Isaac, every other son has this....sign. A facial expression, a grin, a general sense of ease around their fathers or brothers or something; their role models. It's trust Isaac, trust and love. Me and Vincent don't have that. He says it sure, he respects me, but he has never really shown that he loves me Isaac; He doesn't love me enough to subconsciously express it". Aaron couldn't believe he was spilling his guts to Isaac, feeling stupid, but continuing.

"Then I met you Isaac, this little dog in my house out of nowhere. And after I pass you off as one of Kathy's friends, I look up at my son behind you, and do you know what?. My heart has never been so confused and conflicted. He was looking at you Isaac, with that face, the aura of trust and love practically melting off of him". It was Mr. Cowell's turn to get emotional, throwing his arms around in speech. Isaac was clearly engulfed in the story, his eyes snapping into focus as he hung on every word.

"I've waited 18 and a half years for that look from him Isaac. I was angry at first, how he so openly loved this stranger and not me". He left out how he knew who Issac was already for the sake of his promise to Squall.

"Isaac, I hated you for stealing that moment from me, a true genuine hate. I wanted too.... He stopped. "But in a matter of moments, when you looked at him and your effing ear flicked!". He paused, calming down.

"I couldn't have been happier that you two both loved, trusted and cherished each other. It didn't matter if you were both boys for moment". He stopped, opening the car door. "He loves you back Isaac!". Then he grinned. "And I can damn well promise that my son won't push you to do a damn thing. He's too nice!". It felt low to stab Squall in the back like that, but he did deserve it.

That's when the twins shot into the garage, calling for their dad to help them with something. They both stopped dead, taking a moment to look at Isaac. Then they were off, shooting into the house. "Daddy found Isaac!!. He's back!". Said one.

"Now we can play again". Shouted the other, darting back into the garage to try and have some fun.

"Whoa boys it's late!. Mr. Cowell said, stopping them in their tracks. "You should both be in bed".

They both groaned but Isaac hardly noticed. He had a smile on his face, tears washing away the fog that had clouded his eyes and hope in his heart. That damn hope had just been climbing in left and right recently. Everything was clear to him now. Squall wasn't real love, it was Isaac filling a void. His mother was love. Nathan, Max, Karrie, all love, all unconditional and built up. And Vincent, his dear, sweet, darling, brave, hot, kind, over the top, occasionally crazy, funny, best football play'in, ass-kicking, cuddly friend, was who he loved for real in his heart and for reasons known and unknown.

At the same time he felt a pang of guilt for Nathan, but he didn't feel conflicted about it anymore. It wasn't a choice to be had, it was made already. What Mr. Cowell had said....What Vincent had done. This was love. Love strong enough to completely eradiate the pain he had felt not a moment ago. He was changed, purified and decided. Screw Squall, forget him!. Hell Isaac was so happy at the moment he decided that even if he never talked to Squall again to clear things up it didn't matter, he'd found what he was really looking for.

Isaac's heart stopped a moment. What if what Mr. Cowell had said wasn't completely true?. Or a fathers over reaction?. Hope was a dangerous road, it either ended in disaster or beauty, and Isaac had recently had too much of the first.

Isaac looked up, his heart jumping in his chest, thumping harder now than he'd ever remembered. Not caring that his ear flicked, staring at Vincent looking through the garage door at him, his grin grew ear to ear. Isaac knew this is what love was, true irreplaceable and un-destroyable love. Isaac knew now even if Vincent didn't love him back the way Isaac did, which was luckily not the case according to the bear's eyes. Now just as teary and relieved beyond compare, it would be fine as long as they were together.

He let out a giggle with the grin upon see the bears shocked face; but quickly fell quiet. Vincent had to hate him for running, hell, Isaac hated himself. But time waits for no man, so reluctantly and with his breath held, Isaac left the car,walking over to Vincent. The courage love gave him dying into guilt, but this time for the pain he caused the bear. He started to tear up for the third time in the last few hours, not daring to look the bear in the eyes as he spoke. Isaac didn't deserve that comfort at the moment. "I'm so sorry I made you worry....". Isaac was about to ask if Vincent could ever forgive him when he was locked into a great bear hug.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again you hear me!". It was soft but serious. "I'm sorry me and Nathan fought...". He said, the guilt clearly eating at him too. "I'm so sorry. Don't leave again".

Isaac was in shock, his eyes wide, their bodies so close. He felt Vincent shaking with soft sobs of relief against him, and knew from just that that if he looked up the bears eyes would be watery. Hope was finally kind....

"Don't be". Was all Isaac could manage. No other words were needed, Isaac finally returning the hug. They stood in that embrace for much longer than your average guy friends, but no one said a thing. Eventually the twins joined into the hug, and Mrs. Cowell ran in hugging him as well demanding an explanation.

Isaac smiled at the moment, he wanted this so much to have been his family. But he knew it wasn't. He made a promise to check in on his mother every weekend, but for now, he was guided to the guest room to sleep, Isaac asking for a phone to call Nathan.

He laughed when the wolf started freaking out over the phone with similar questions to Mrs. Cowell. "Are you Ok?. Where did you go?. I missed you man".

"I missed you to Nathan, and I'm sorry for the worry".

"Don't be, it was my fault". Nathan said, his face in Isaac's mind was a big smile with teary eyes like everyone else, but something told Isaac the wolf was a little too cool for that.

With the call over and promises of talking tomorrow at school, Isaac fell into a deep sleep after he and Vincent's reunion. They had to force themselves to separate, that made Isaac smile into his dreams.

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Dreams are portal's to one's mind, Isaac had always thought. This concerned him, images of Squall and his sick mother floating around in random images. They were yelling, crying, hurting, calling out to Isaac. He awoke in a cold sweat that night or early morning, and every time he relaxed enough for sleep, the same thing happened.

Perhaps it wasn't happily ever after yet. Isaac sighed after he realized this. How he hated confrontation, and how fast his hatred for Squall rekindled. The fox had something of Isaac's. Sure Squall had his virginity, but he had in a single night stolen Isaac's confidence in himself, his inner strength.

Isaac needed that back. But he smiled to himself, school tomorrow; A sense of normality slowly returning to him as he drifted back into a dark place and stayed there for the night.

He was in a dark, cold cave, the walls looking like they were drawn together with coal. The walls danced, casting endless shadows without a source of light. Isaac was drowning, the shadows reached around him like wrenched talons and claws of un-natural beings. They pulled him to the floor then faded into it, allowing Isaac to fall through. It was like water. He struggled to the surface, his arms flailing, his mind telling him he was running out of sweet life giving air. But that struggle ended, and he hit the ground, bound by the black claws. Before him sat two beings, glowing and angelic.

Vincent and Squall.

They each presented him a gift, the unspoken rule being he could only take one. Isaac's paw flailed forward, but he paused an inch from Vincent's gift, eyeing his confidence sitting in Squalls paw, a grin like Nathan's playing on his lips, an all knowing grin. A cruel slap in the face.

Then he awoke, that doubt etched into his skull.

Meanwhile, one hundred and fifty so miles away, sitting in his robe, crying in the mirror was Squall.

He had ruined everything. Patti, his son, his friendships, they were all gone. Nothing mattered anymore. Why did everything seem to happen to him? He never asked for this, he never wanted this.

He instinctually went for the medicine cabinet, wiping tears aside, pulling out the two bottles. He stared at them with contempt, going to the box they came in for uses.

"Prodelephin," he read in monotone "Take two pills daily to regulate hormonal imbalances that lead to instinctual action making, spiked growth levels, sexual addiction and excessive shedding." He ended sarcastically, his anger welling.

"AAAARRRGGH!" he screamed, throwing the bottle across the room, watching the pills fly across the room "YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR JOB! LIKE HELL YOU WORK!! 'EXPENSIVE CAUSE IT WORKS' MY ASS!!" He went to the second bottle, his "Venting drugs", opening the uses page and instructions. " Haliomestrophone, take one pill to temporarily spike sexual addiction and pleasure. WARNING!" he shouted as the font increased "Do not take if you are under the age of 21, if you overdose you must let the drugs run their course, drink plenty of fluids upon taking and to flush the drug."

Squall grinned, his anger already bringing about the symptoms he tried so hard to hide. He took three pills, and barely made it to the bed before crashing to the floor in euphoria.