Heaven\'s not Enough
"Wow I feel great." Ryan said as he stretched his arms out. He got up and walked over to his closet. He pulled out a black t-shirt and a white button up shirt to put on over top. He looked himself over in the mirror. Ryan was a golden Labrador but he wasn't full blooded his dad was a wolf. His golden fur was so soft and shiny that he thought that he was so handsome. The wolf in him didn't show except for the fact that he was much bigger than any other Lab.
"It's the first day of school and I don't know anyone there. I want to make friends but I don't know if there will be any other fur that will accept me." He hung his head and stared at the ground, something under his bed caught his eye. He bent over and picked it up. It was a box that his pen pal from Australia had sent him.
"Oh that's right Leo has transferred to my new school this year from Australia. I thought that moving here from St.Petersburg would be an unpleasant one." He opened the box for the first time since he got the package. Inside the box was a letter that was in his friend's handwriting.
The letter said
Dear, Ryan
I got this for you so that I would know who you were when I saw you.
I know that you might like it, then again you might not. (I really hope you do.)
I can't wait to see you Ryan. I've been waiting all summer to see you and now that
I finally can I got butterflies in my stomach. I'm going to wrap this up because I
don't have any more paper. I can't wait to see you.
Sincerely,
Your pen pal Leo.
He looked back into the box and saw a black collar with a sporty red stripe going down the middle. He took the collar out and put it on and looked in the mirror. "Wow this thing is really stylish. I love it." He got his backpack and walked out of his room. His mom was down stairs making breakfast. "Good morning dear. Sleep well?" Ryan pulled a seat out from under the table and sat down. "Yeah I sure did. So what cha make'n?"
She looked at him and smiled. "I'm making your favorite. Eggs and bacon." Ryan's tail wagged as he smelled and heard the bacon begin to fry in the pan. His mom saw his collar. "Where did you get that?" She said as she pointed to it with a fork. "Oh this. I got it from a friend. You know my pen pal from Australia, he sent it to me. He transferred to my new school." He smiled as he toyed with his new collar. "You know dear your father is coming today and he wants to take you camping next weekend." Ryan nearly fell out of his seat. "Dad is really coming home!" He stood up and looked at his mother. "Yes, and he got a job here in Dallas. He's going to live with us again. We're going to be a family again. He wants a chance to be your father."
"Oh now he wants to be my father."
Ryan's fits clenched and tightened until his claws cut into his palms. "Please Ryan give him a chance. His old job had him away from home so much." Ryan punched the wall, his knuckles split open. His hand was bleeding and he was in pain. He didn't care he hated that his father would leave and never call to say hi or even say I love you. Even when his father was home he would drink and then hit Ryan. His mother never believed that he would do such a thing. "Ryan sweetie, you have to give him a chance. He's quit drinking now so you don't have to worry." Ryan left the kitchen and went to the bathroom and cleaned off the blood on his paw. He looked in the closet and found some gauze and wrapped his hand up. He went back to the kitchen and ate his breakfast without a word to his mother. "Ryan talk to me why do you hate your father so much." Ryan got up and grabbed his backpack. "I'm late for school I got to go." His mom stood up and grabbed the keys to her jeep. "Let me drive you then. I have to go to the store anyway." He was already out the door and called back to her.
"No thank you but I'll walk." He closed the door and walked to school.
He sat on the bench in front of his school and waited for the bell to ring so that he could go to hi homeroom.
The whole time sat and wondered how he could live with his father. He looked up and saw everyone talking and laughing with their friends. "Look at them laughing like they never left school. How could they just go on like that, laughing and playing on the first day." He put his chin in his paws and closed his eyes. He felt a tap on his shoulder and without opening an eye he answered the one taping him. "Yeah what do you want? I'm not having a good day right now so could you leave me alone?" The voice that came from the fur was somewhat deep and had an accent to it. "Well now mate. Is that how you greet a friend?" Ryan looked up and smiled as he saw a lion standing there smiling back at him. "Oh. I'm sorry I didn't know it was you Leo. Wow you're a little more built that I thought."
Ryan realized that he ogling Leo like a little schoolgirl. "I'm sorry I don't know what that was about. I mean I'm not like that, at least I don't think I am." Leo smiled and sat next to Ryan. His mane was thick and it was as shiny as Ryan's fur. His well tone body made Ryan quiver with bliss.
"So what your first class, mate?" Ryan looked at his schedule and the first thing on it was biology. "I have biology first." Leo moved a little and picked up his backpack and searched in it for minute. His golden brown fur was so beautiful to Ryan that he put out his paw and stroked Leo's arm. Leo didn't seem to notice as he searched his backpack some more. "I found it. I have biology first period too. Let me see your schedule really quick, mate." Ryan handed over his schedule and watched Leo compare their schedules. "Well by crikey mate! We have he same classes." Ryan took back his and Leo schedule and looked at them. "Wow we do. This is turning it to a great day." Leo looked down at his paw because Ryan had set his paw on top of his. "I'm sorry Leo I don't know what's going on with me." Ryan said as he pulled his hand away. Leo saw that Ryan's paw was wrapped up. "If ya don't mind me asking, mate? What happened to your paw?" Ryan looked down at his paw and frowned. "I got mad this morning and punched the wall." Leo looked at him with a worried expression on his face.
The bell rang, saving Ryan from telling Leo the truth about his paw, they got up and walked to their first class. When they got there the teacher wasn't even in the room, so they took seats in the back of the room and next to each other. They stared talking about their summer when they heard a commotion outside of the classroom. They got up to see what was going on. Ryan stuck his head out of the door and saw two wolves and a white ferret. The ferret was trying to get her backpack from the wolves. "Please give it back." She tried so hard to get it back but she couldn't seem to keep up with the wolves, throwing the backpack in air. No one even tried to help her, this made Ryan very angry and he clenched his fists again. He ran out and jumped up to catch the backpack in mid-air. He turned to the wolves and snarled. "Why not pick on someone your own size you punks." The bigger of the wolves grabbed him by the shirt collar and smiled. "So you want us to pick on someone our own size? Is that it new guy?" Ryan looked him dead in the eyes. "That's what I said. If not you'll have to pay for messing with that poor girl." The wolf laughed. "Oh and who's going to make me? You tough guy." He pushed Ryan in to the other wolf who held his arms while the bigger wolf punched him. Leo was out of the room in a flash and rushed to Ryan's aid. He decked the large wolf in the side of the face.
Ryan flipped the other wolf over his head and on the floor in front of him. He went to the big wolf and grabbed him in the same manner that he had Grabbed Ryan. "Now are you going to leave that girl alone?"
The wolf was crying as he nodded. "Good now don't mess with anyone else or you will have to answer to me and my friend here." Ryan pointed to Leo with his thumb as Leo cracked his knuckles and glaring at the wolf.
"Ok just don't hurt me any more." Ryan let the wolf go and turned to the ferret. "Are you ok?" The ferret looks up at Ryan and smiles. "Yes, thank you. If you hadn't jumped in when you did I don't think that I would have ever got my pack back from those two." Ryan put out his paw, the ferret took it and Ryan pulled her up.
"So who's your friend over there?" She points to Leo, who is too busy keeping some other girls off of him to notice that they were talking about him.
Leo came over to Ryan and the ferret. "Let's get to class these shelas are trying to eat me alive mates."
Ryan and the ferret both laughed. "So, what's you name?" Ryan asked the ferret.
"Oh my name? I'm sorry I guess I forgot to tell you because of all the commotion. My name is Katie. Katie Cervantes. I just moved here this summer from Spain." She walked into Ryan's class and wet straight to the back and sat on the other side of Ryan.
"Wait you have this class too?"
"Yep."
Ryan and Leo sat down in their seats. Ryan reached in his pocket and pulled out his schedule.
"May I see your schedule?" Ryan extended his paw.
"Sure." She pulls her schedule from a book the seemed too thick for Ryan to read.
"Wow we have three of the same classes. Let's see Biology, Math, and English. Hey Leo Katie is in three of our classes." He turned to Leo who was talking to a rather feminine looking fox.
"Hey Leo who's that?" the fox looked at Ryan and smiled.
"Oh. Hi my name is Cliff and you are?" He sounded to Ryan like he was hitting on him.
"My name is Ryan. Ryan Hufferman and this is Katie Cervantes and Leo-"
"Leo White, I know I already introduced myself to him." The fox smiled and winked at Ryan. Ryan wasn't sure of what to make of the fox. The one thing that he was sure of was that the fox was definitely hitting on him.
The fox turned to Leo and placed his paw on Leo's and began to speak again. "So Then I'll see you after school Hun?" Ryan had turned to Katie but he decided to listen in on Leo's conversation.
"What is that fox actually calling Leo...Hun?" Ryan thought to himself.
Cliff walked off and sat down in the front but not without turning around and giving a wink. Ryan didn't know if the wink was for him or for Leo. He turned to Leo who had his head down looking at something in his hand.
"What cha got there Leo?"
Leo looked up smiled. He raised his paw and showed Ryan a cell cell phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Putting Cliff's number in me phonebook."
Ryan looked at him weird. Leo smiled and went back to doing what he was doing.
"Leo? Are you.... are you gay?"
"What's that mate?"
"Do you like guys?"
Leo looked away and then to Cliff, he turned back to Ryan.
"I sorta mate but there's noth'n between me and Cliff. He just wants a ride home this afternoon. Why are you?"
"No... I mean I don't know. I'm confused. I like girls but there's something about...never mind."
Just then the teacher walked in. He was a tall thin wolf with black fur and he had an average body. Ryan saw that Cliff's tail was wagging.
He laughed to himself as he thought that about Cliff hitting on their biology teacher. He didn't even look that old, He had to be in his mid to late twenties.
"Good morning class. I hope you all had a great summer. I see that most of you have made it back to my class. I don't see any new...wait never mind I see three new faces. Do ya'll mind standing up and telling us your names and where you're from? Better yet we will all just introduce ourselves. I'll go first. My name is Mr. Salinas. " He said with his Texan accent.
Ryan knew that he was talking about them. He looked at Katie and then at Leo.
"I guess I'll go first then."
"Hi. I'm Ryan Hufferman and I moved here from St. Petersburg, Florida."
He sat down and looked at Katie. She stood up and smiled.
"My name is my name is Katie Cervantes and I'm from Madrid, Spain."
She sat down and looked at Ryan who smiling at her. She started to blush, which was easy to tell because of her white fur. It made her look a little pink. Leo stood up and smiled a big toothy smile.
"Ello mates. My name is Leo White and I'm from Sydney, Australia."
Ryan heard some giggling from some of the girls in the class and Cliff. Leo sat down and the next fur stood up.
Ryan didn't care to know anyone else's name so he turned to Leo. "Leo is there any in between for liking both boys and girls?" Ryan felt weird asking that but he had to know because he didn't know anything about that subject.
"Well let me see. What you're saying mate, is that you like both right?" Leo said.
"No...Like I said I'm confused I never been with anybody before. I never had a...well you know."
Leo understood what Ryan was saying. He never had a mate and he wasn't sure of himself.
"Well mate you could be bi."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You're not gay or straight either mate. You bi-sexual."
"I don't know. I feel like I'm not sure how I feel."
Leo knew that Ryan was really confused, he didn't pursue the matter anymore.
"So what are you doing next weekend?"
The morning's conversation came rushing back to Ryan.
"I have to go camping with my dad."
"Well good on ya mate."
"Well me and my father have never seen eye to eye on things. I hate him he was always away from home and when he was around he would get drunk and beat me. My mom says that he doesn't drink anymore. Ha! That's a dream come true.... Leo will you come with me just incase?"
"Ok if that is what you want, mate."
"Yes it is! I want you to come. I don't know what I would do if I were alone with him. He might try to kill me."
Katie jumped in.
"I doubt you father would try to kill you."
"I know him. When he gets drunk he will do anything. He already tried to kill me once before."
Mr. Salinas interrupted.
"Is there something you three would like to share?"
"No sir." Ryan spoke up not wanting to let everyone in on their conversation.
"Well then pay attention."
They all responded simultaneously. "Yes sir."
The day went by slowly. Ryan and Leo sat in the back of every class.
They did the same thing everyday and everyday they walked home with Katie. Oddly enough they all lived with in walking distance of each other's houses. This went on for the rest of the week.
That weekend Ryan's mom had agreed to let him stay at Leo's. He was looking forward to it.
Ryan was ready to go on Saturday. He had packed his duffle bag the night before so he could get up and leave in the morning. He made sure that he woke up earlier than usual so that he could get to Leo's house, so that they could start hanging out early. They planned on going to Katie's later to see if she wanted to join them at the bowling alley or the arcade. Ryan was good at both. He loved to play DDR, he held the high score on every one of the arcades in St. Petersburg.
Ryan started to go downstairs and half way he stopped. He heard voices one was his mother's and the other sounded familiar but it didn't click in his head. He continued down slowly so he wouldn't be noticed. He looked in the living room but no one was there. He figured that the voices were in the kitchen. He cautiously went to the kitchen door and put his ear to the door.
"I don't understand. What's wrong with him? Without that job we never would have been able to move here." Ryan knew that the voice belonged to his father now and he knew they were talking about him.
"Hank, he's going through a rough patch right now. He is sixteen you know, and he is kind of mad that you were never home."
"What? I was home every other weekend."
"Yeah I know but you did get drunk and he still insists that you beat him every time that you were."
"I never touched that boy and you know it."
"Yeah I do but he is so stubborn and persists on sticking with that story. We talked about next weekend on Monday and he got angry and punched the wall. He cut his paw open too when he did it."
Ryan heard a chair move.
"I want to talk to him."
Ryan heard footsteps coming to the door. He backed away one step and stood there glaring. The door opened and his father stood in the doorway surprised to see Ryan standing there. Ryan's dad was big and rough looking, Ryan was almost as big as his father. He had gray and black fur that made him look like a rock if he stood still.
"Ryan! What are you doing here?"
Ryan stood there still glaring at his father.
"I live here. The question is what are you doing here?"
Hank looked at shocked at his son's guts for talking to him like that.
"Yeah that's what I thought never had anyone stand up to you like this before have you dad?"
"No son I haven't. I'm glad that you were the first one."
Ryan was expecting to get punched so he braced himself discretely but it never came. His father merely put his head down and walked to the kitchen table. He sat down and looked out the window then back to Ryan.
"So you finally decided to become a man. Well I'm proud of you. You stood up to me and for the first time I felt intimidated."
Ryan walked in the kitchen as his father was talking. His words caught him off guard. Then Ryan noticed something really was different about his father. He wasn't like he use to be or maybe because he wasn't drunk that he seemed different. Ryan's dad noticed the duffel bag Ryan was carrying.
"You in sports?" He asked.
"No. I hate sports."
"Oh. Well, what's in the bag?"
"My clothes."
"You run'n away?" Hank was trying to get something accomplished but Ryan couldn't figure it out.
"No I'm staying at a friend's for the weekend." Ryan wasn't going to let his father win him over with this "Mr. Nice Guy" routine. He walked over to his mother and kissed he cheek.
"I'll see you later mom. I got to go I'm running a little late."
He walked right past his father without saying a word.
Ryan was walking out the front door when he heard someone following him.
"Do you need a ride?" His father asked.
"No I'm walking."
Hank shut the door and his mood changed. He ran to Ryan and grabbed his arm.
"Look at me when I talk to you."
We wasn't as strong as Ryan remembered so Ryan turned an slugged him right on the snout.
"Don't you ever touch me again! One more thing." He punched him again knocking Hank to the ground.
"Don't you ever put up a charade like the in front of my mother you heartless bastard!"
"So you even hit like a man too but, can you take a hit from one?"
"Bring it on old man I can take you."
Hank came at Ryan fast and tackling him. They rolled on the ground for a minute trying to be the first one up. Ryan was younger so he was the first one up but he wasn't experienced enough to know that his father was only letting him up first. Hank grabbed some dirt and threw it at Ryan's face. Ryan was blinded by the dirt and while he tried to get the dirt out his father stood up and charged him again. A golden flash shot through between them and knocked Hank to the ground again. Ryan got the dirt out of his eyes and looked to see who was standing in front of him. It was Leo, he had stopped Ryan's dad.
"Hey you stay out of this. He's my son and I will punish him the way I see fit."
Leo had his head hanging so that his mane covered his face a little. He smirked and spoke calmly.
"Well is that right, mate?"
Hank wiped some blood from his muzzle.
"That's right so why don't you just move along."
"Sorry can't do that mate. Ya see this bloke here e's my friend, and I ain't gonna stand by and watch him beat like this. Especially by his ole man."
"Well then mate. I will have to take you out too." Hank mocked Leo and spat at him.
"I doubt you could take me mate."
Hank jumped up and swung at Leo. Leo just leaned back and Hank's punch went right by harmlessly.
Hank kept trying to hit Leo but Leo was to fast even for his sized. Leo finally punched him in the gut and Hank feel to his knees.
"You leave me friend alone mate or I'll have to get violent."
Leo helped Ryan up. They grabbed Ryan's things and went inside.
"What happed to you Ryan?"
"It was your husband Mrs. Hufferman. He was fighting with Ryan."
"Where is Hank?"
"Left him on the front lawn on his knees."
Ryan's mother looked pissed. She went to the door and turned closed and locked it.
"Let's get you cleaned up while he calms down."
"Mom I don't know why insist on siding with him all the time. I know you know he really is abusive and he was just putting up an act earlier."
She stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned around she was starting to cry.
"I know. Why do you think I locked the door? I saw the whole thing from the kitchen window. I don't know why it took so long for me to realize that you were telling the truth about him."
Ryan felt bad for making his mother cry like this. He stood up and walked over to her.
"Mom you have get him out of here you know now that he will try to hurt me and next maybe you too." Ryan hugged his mother and kissed her cheek.
"I sorry I made you cry mom."
"You didn't do it sweetie. I did. I was to blind to see that he wasn't telling the truth for some time now."
Leo looked out the window and same Ryan's dad get in his truck and drive off. He turned to Ryan and his mother.
"You father is gone mate." He pointed with his thumb lick he was hitch hiking.
"As long as he is away from here, I don't care." Ryan said, his voice had no emotion in it what so ever except for pure hatred for the fur he use to call father.
"Mom I'm staying here incase he comes back."
"No, you go have fun with your friends don't worry about me."
Ryan didn't need her to tell him twice. He knew that she could hold her own against someone her size or bigger, but someone as big as Ryan or his father would be too much for her. He would know better than any one that his mother could win against most other furs because she was the one who taught him to fight. She taught him after he was being bullied by a wolf back in grade school. His mother had seen her share of bar fights when she had to go get his dad out of trouble.
"Ryan before you go I want to give you something." She went to the kitchen and came back.
"Hold out your paw." Ryan held out his paw, palm down. She took the free paw and turned Ryan's paw over palm face up. She put her other paw on his and held it there for a while as she spoke to him.
"I want you to use this when ever you need, ok?" Ryan nodded and waited until she moved her paw.
She moved her paw off his and he looked in his paw. A black cell phone was resting in his paw.
"A cell phone, mom. You didn't have to get me one."
"I know but you have friends now and I thought that you might need it."
Ryan looked at the cell in his paw and smiled.
"Thanks mom you're the best." Ryan hugged and kissed her. She merely smiled and looked at him and a tear started roll down her face.
"Mom are you ok?"
"Oh Ryan, I was just telling myself what a handsome young man you turned out to be."
Ryan felt himself blush. "Oh mom, you're embarrassing me now."
She smiled and laughed. Leo was trying hard not to laugh.
"Aww are you mama's wittle baby?" He laughed along with Ryan's mother who also got a kick out of the comment.
"Hahaha you guys keep laughing." Ryan pouted.
"Oh come on mate lighten up."
"Easy for you to say. You don't have a father trying to kill you." Ryan pocketed the phone and grabbed his bag.
"Are you ready to go Leo?"
"Yeah when ever you are mate."
"Hey mom lock all the doors so that he doesn't try to get back in the house."
"Ok Hun now go. I don't want to keep you guys from your day." She pushed them out of the house.
"Bye I'll see you when you get home."
Ryan and Leo walked down the road to Leo's house. Ryan put Lao's cell number in his phone while they walked down the road.
"Leo can I ask you something?"
"Sure mate." Ryan looked at Leo. His mane was waving in the breeze and his golden fur was shining beautifully in the sun.
"Do your parents know about you?"
"What's that mate?"
"Do your parents know that you're...gay?"
"Oh crikey mate! I forgot to tell them!" He said sarcastically.
"Naw mate they know."
"And they're fine with me staying at your house for the weekend?"
"Yeah. It took some convincing though. It was harder to convince my dad than it was mum. I told your straight and they agreed."
Ryan looked at the road as they walked. He still wasn't sure of himself. When Leo saved him, from his father earlier Ryan felt a deep longing to be with the lion. Some how he knew that the lion was the one he wanted to be with, then again there was Katie. The way she looked at Ryan made him blush.
Ryan thought about these things all the way to Leo's house. He forgot that he was even walking.
They got there and Leo nudged Ryan to snap him out of his trance. Ryan looked around a bit then realized what he was doing.
"Sorry I was just thinking." He put one paw behind his head and laughed.
"Oh about what mate?"
"You ...and Katie."
Leo looked at him and smiled. They walked up to the house and Leo opened the door.
They walked in and Ryan saw a lioness on the couch.
"Leo Hun you're back later than I thought you would be."
"Sorry mum. Ryan had to deal with something before we left his house."
"Like what?"
Ryan looked down and rubbed his right arm with his left paw. He didn't say anything, he just stood there as the events replayed in his head. He finally spoke.
"Nothing. Just some bad blood between me and my father."
"Oh well that doesn't sound good. Are you ok?"
"Yeah I didn't come out of it unscaved."
"Ok enough on that subject. Let's go put your stuff in my room Ryan." Leo grabbed Ryan's hand and drug him off to his room. His room was very clean and he had a few pictures and posters on his walls of famous actors and bands. The one poster that caught Ryan's eye was one of Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom.
"Whoa Leo you really have a bunch of posters and pictures of cute guys on your walls." Ryan cupped his hands over his mouth when he realized what he said.
"I mean...man if your mom heard me say that she wouldn't believe that I was straight."
Leo set Ryan's stuff on the floor next to his computer desk. Ryan noticed the computer.
"You have internet?"
"Yep."
"Cool, you think I can check my e-mail later?"
"Sure mate." Leo went to his closet and grabbed a shirt out of it. He pulled off the one he was wearing and Ryan saw his ripped body and he felt like jumping on him and kissing him.
"Control yourself Ryan. You can't go and do that he's you best friend." Ryan argued with himself.
"Something wrong mate?"
"No nothing is wrong." Ryan felt his flesh burning as he blushed. His fur was just enough to keep Leo from noticing he was blushing. Leo put the shirt on and walked over to Ryan.
"Let's go mate. We have to get to Katie's house."
Ryan shook off the embarrassment and got up and smiled.
"Ok let's go."
They went to the living room where Leo's mom was sitting and watching TV.
"Hey mum. We're going to Katie's house."
"Oh ok tell her I said hey and tell her parents that I'll be over later for the dinner thing, just stay there because we are going to have dinner with them."
"Ok mum, bye"
They walked out of the house and Ryan looked at Leo and without looking Leo knew what was going through Ryan's head.
"Yeah Katie came over the day we helped her out at school. She told her parents and they came to thank me and they were going to your house but my mom kept them here had we had dinner together. Ever since then they have been waiting to thank you and now they can."
Ryan felt a surge of pride swell up in him. They walked the three blocks to Katie's house.
"You know which house it is Leo?"
"Yeah sure mate. It's that on the end." He pointed at an of white house at the corner of the street. They walked up to the house and knocked on the door. They heard footsteps coming to the door. The door opened and Katie stood there still in her pajamas.
"Hey guys. You guys are early."
"Huh? I thought we were running late. Wow I think that the little spat I had with my father was going to makes us late."
Katie looked at Ryan.
"What spat? I mean you had a fight with your father? What about?"
Ryan looked down and put his hands in his pockets. "It's nothing he is just a basterd and I hate him."
"Yea I see what you mean mate. He was a real bad bloke if you ask me." Leo put his arm around Ryan. Ryan blushed and he wanted to put his arm around Leo but he didn't have the courage to do so. Katie looked at them and smiled, but her eyes had a certain sadness to them. Ryan could see that she was sad for some reason.
"What's wrong Katie?" Ryan asked while walking forward and letting Leo's arm fall off his shoulders.
"Nothing I just.... nevermind." She turned around, moved aide, and invited the two in.
They sat and talked for awhile in Katie's living room. Katie avoided the constant question of "What was wrong at the door?" Leo had his arm around Ryan again and he kept pulling him closer to him.
"Uh Leo?"
"Yeah Ryan?"
"Um I'm still not sure if I'm like bi or what ever you said."
Katie looked at Ryan but he just stared at the floor. "What the hell am I going to do .I know that Leo likes me and now I think that Katie likes me. Gods this suck, I like them both but I don't want to hurt either one of them."
Leo looked at Katie and pushed some of his mane out of his face. He rubbed Ryan's arm and Katie started looking sad again. Ryan noticed this and moved his arm away from Leo's hand. Leo looked at Ryan and frowned.
"Sorry about that mate. I just can't help it I'm in love with you Ryan."
Ryan and Katie looked at Leo shocked. Leo was so blunt and straight forward with it that it caught both Ryan and Katie of guard.
"Wait you like Ryan?" Katie sighed.
"Yes I have liked him ever since we my first met. I thought that we would only be friends when we were pen pals." Leo turned and looked at Ryan. "I can see him, hold him and touch him now and I have more feelings for him now." Leo sat back and looked down at his legs. "I understand if you don't want to be with me Ryan...." Leo lets out a long sigh and pauses a minute ".....there's always Cliff."
Ryan was about to say something when Katie cut him off.
"Well Leo that makes two of us." She moved over toward Ryan and held his paw.
"Ryan since the day that you helped me and beat up those wolves I have slowly been falling in love with you."
Leo glanced at Katie then to Ryan, who seemed shocked that the only two friends that he had both liked him. Ryan stood up slowly and walked to the middle of the room. He turned around and rubbed his muzzle.
"Damn I hate this. I don't want to have to choose between them. I don't know what to do. What if I choose one and the other gets mad and leaves? Calm down Ryan you don't have to choose now. Just play it cool and you can decide later." Ryan's face and crunched up as he thought and the others looked at him intently.
"Ryan? Hey mate you ok there?" Leo raised a paw and was waving it a bit.
Ryan snapped out of his daze and blinked.
"What? Huh? Oh yeah I'm fine."
"Well it looked like you were eating something sour with the way your face was." Katie said imitating Ryan's facial expression. Leo laughed and slapped his knee.
"Katie you looks just like him when you do that."
Ryan just stood there looking at his friends. He laughed along with them after a second of thinking about what they were talking about.
"So are we going or not?" Ryan said as he looked at the clock.
"Oh yeah." Katie said as she stood up. "I need to get dressed just stay here. I'll be right back."
Ryan and Leo watched her go off upstairs. Her tail was the last thing Ryan saw before he was grabbed by one of Leo's strong paws and pulled down into his lap. Leo hugged Ryan and then kisses him. Ryan didn't know what to do but he had to do something. He didn't want Katie to see him like this. He pushed away from Leo and stood up.
"Leo...I...that was...give me some time. I need more time to figure out who I am."
"Sorry mate. I just wanted to see how that felt...that was my first kiss mate."
Ryan's jaw dropped as he looked at Leo.
"You mean you never kissed anyone before?"
"Naw...the person I kissed was my mum."
"Well to tell you the truth..." Ryan rubbed his arm and looked at Leo. "That was my first kiss too."
They looked deep into each other's eyes. Ryan found that himself holding Leo's paw. He didn't care he was happy. Just then Katie came down and saw the two staring at each other.
"So are you two having a staring contest or something?"
They broke the stare and smiled at Katie. She stood there in blue jeans and a pink t-shirt. She had pulled her head fur back into a ponytail. Ryan thought she was cute. He stared at her a minute then turned away. Katie knew something else was wrong with Ryan but she didn't want to ask him with Leo there.
"So shall we go then mates?" Leo said standing up and stretching.
"Yes let's go." Ryan said as he jumped out and bolted out of the door.
Leo and Katie looked at the door and then to each other.
"What do you suppose is wrong with him?" Katie asked. Leo just shrugged and shook his head.
They went out the door and saw Ryan down the road sitting on a bench. They walked down to him and noticed that he was hunched over and had his head in his paws. Ryan heard the coming but he paid no attention to them. Leo and Katie both sat on opposite sides of Ryan.
"Ryan? Ryan are you ok mate?" Leo said stroking Ryan's head.
Ryan lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. He had obviously crying about something.
"No nothing's wrong I just got...."
".... Just got something in your eye? Yeah right I've heard that one before mate."
"Yeah Ryan. We're your friends and you can trust us with whatever it is." Katie smiled.
"I know but I don't want to talk about it ok. Not now anyway." Ryan stood up and then was pulled down by both Katie and Leo.
"Sorry bloke but we are talking about this right now." Leo said.
"Fine I'll talk but I don't think it's something I want to hear."
"It's ok Ryan we don't mind. Do we Leo?"
Leo shook his head and rubbed Ryan's back.
"Go on mate what's wrong?"
"Well it's about my family and how my mom and I ended up the way we did. It's the reason that we both hate my father and why I'm sure mom was being nice to him today. I know she was faking it too because I was home and she didn't want anything to happen to me." Ryan said calmly.
"Well what happened? Ryan what happened to you?"
Ryan sighed and continued.
"Well it all started on one of my dad's drunken nights and I was in my room watching TV with my sister."
"Wait, wait, wait a sec mate..." Leo interrupted and waving a paw. "...You have a sister? I only thought it was just you and your mum. That's the only rooms I saw and I know you don't share one with your sister."
"Let me go on, please Leo."
"Ok mate but I'm confused."
"I knew that you would be. I had a sister and she was very beautiful. She was the only other person that I could go to whenever dad had one of his drunken rages. One night I was in my room, reading a comic book and he came in and he reeked of liquor. He had a golf club in his paw and an evil look on his face." Ryan stopped and looked at Leo. Ryan's face no longer looked sad. It was filled with anger and hatred. "That bastard came at me and screaming that I was the biggest mistake he ever made and that he was going to fix it. I jumped off the bed and some how got pat him. I ran to my sister's room and locked myself in there. She was lying on her bed listening to music so she didn't hear me run in. I ran to her and held her. She was startled but held me nonetheless. I told what was happening and she grabbed a baseball bat from under her bed." Ryan began to cry and shake violently. Leo tried to put his arm around Ryan but Ryan just stood up and punched the sign on the curb. He left a large dent in it. The other two looked at him then at each other. They never seen him like this but have only known him for about 3 or 4 weeks now and there was a lot they didn't know about one another any way.
"She was the only one who ever protected me! That bastard busted the door down and caught us off guard. My sister hit him as hard as she could and knocked him over. WE ran to the living room and she called the cops. As soon as she hung up he...he...he hit her with the golf club out of nowhere and I knew right then and there that he had killed her. There was a lot of blood on the golf club and on the floor. He was smiling and laughing about I too. He said that she was one problem solved and that there was one left. I was only a cub barley even 6 or 7 when this happened but it feels like yesterday. The cops came after a while. I don't know how I managed to escape him for so long. When the cops got there they saw him with the bloody club and arrested him. They found me by my sister's body crying. He was locked up after that and it was the last time I saw him. He lost his job and now he's here trying to be a father. You saw how he was Leo. He hasn't changed at all."
Ryan was shaking uncontrollably and fell to his knees crying. "I'll kill that bastard the same way he kill my sister. YOU HEAR ME YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A FATHER! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LIKE YOU DID YOUR OWN DAUGHTER!"
Leo got up and held Ryan close to him.
"Shh, shh there, there mate. Calm down...we're here for you and there is nothing that he can do to you now that I'm here I promise you that."
Ryan wrapped his arms around Leo and hugged him. He cried into Leo's chest. Katie sat there and couldn't imagine the pain Ryan was going through. She never had to go through the stuff Ryan did.
"Ryan where was your mother that night?" Katie said.
"He had knocked her out, before he found the golf club."
Ryan stopped himself from crying anymore and wiped his face on his shirt.
"Sorry guys. I didn't want this to happen or pull you into my past like this. I should just go and leave you two to have fun today." Ryan started to get up but Leo grabbed him and pulled him to the ground.
"No you are going with us mate and that's that, ok? Good, no questions asked. Now let's go."
The day from that point on seemed to get better. Ryan beat Leo in a bunch of games at the arcade but Katie still got the high score on all of them. They bowled two games but they all did very badly.
They gave up bowling and ordered a pizza and just sat and enjoyed each other's company. They talked about everything from how long Ryan and Leo have been pen pals to how Leo's parents wee ok with him being gay. That topic carried over to Ryan. Ryan was silent after that came up. He didn't say anything about the topic after that.
"You know Ryan. You never said anything about yourself liking either one of us as more than a friend." Katie interrupted
"Huh? What? How did you know that I liked you both...I mean had feelings for you two? I never said anything about that."
"I saw the way you look at Leo and myself. You stare at us like we are the first thing that you have ever seen and I didn't I just wanted to see if you did or not."
"Hey that was a dirty little trick." Ryan blushed and looked at the table.
"Damn now what am I going to do. They're going to make me choose between them. I don't want to do that. I can't choose between them I just can't no matter how much I try. I have to choose one of them .I know who I'm choosing and I'm going to stick with my decision and Leo is going to have deal with my choice for better or for worse."
Katie pokes Ryan's muzzle with a fork and giggles.
"Hey there sour face you zoned out again. You are going to have to stop doing that you know."
"Sorry I just have too much on my mind at the moment." Ryan took a small bite of his slice of pizza.
Leo had stopped eating and watched Ryan. He slid closer to Ryan's side and tapped Ryan's shoulder.
"So what were you thinking about there mate. Your father, your life, love... yiffing?"
Katie looked at Leo and threw her napkin at him. "Leo! Not at the table and especially not now and here. I come on have some decency will ya?"
"Hehe Sorry mate it just slipped."
Ryan Looked up and smiled. "I was actually thinking about me. What or better yet who am I? I still need time to think about where I am going with my life right now. My father being back doesn't help either. At least I'm staying at your house tonight Leo and that is something to look forward to."
Ryan gave Leo a wink. Katie didn't see it but she knew something was up when Leo smiled and held Ryan close.
"Well what do you boys plan on doing tonight." She said in a crafty tone of voice.
"Well I do have some movies I brought that we could watch and I think I saw a playstation and an xbox at Leo's. We could play games or just hang out in Leo's room."
Leo blinked a few times. He was getting mixed messages from Ryan.
"Is he trying to say he likes me back and what's to be my mate or is he just saying things and I'm just taking them in the wrong way."
Leo snapped out of his thoughts by Ryan holding his paw under the table. Leo squeezed Ryan's paw in his own and smiled. He was now on the same page with Ryan. He knew what Ryan was talking about. They finished eating and just sat there. After an hour of mindless chatter they got up and left. They all walked down the street laughing and joking. They stopped at Katie's house to drop her off and say their good-byes for the day. Leo and Ryan walked home paw in paw.Leo's parnts were still at Katie's by the looks of things.
"You know Ryan that collar looks good on you mate." Leo said as he fiddled with the ring on it with his free paw.
"You think. I like it so I have been wearing it everyday since the beginning of school."
Leo smiled and tightened his grip on Ryan's paw and nuzzled him. "I know and it makes me happy that you do."
Ryan blushed and rested his head on Leo's shoulder as they walked down the road to Leo's. A black Nissan drove by and they paid no attention to it even though they should have. Ryan's father was in the car and he had seen them walking together. The car turned and went down the road and rounded the corner. The two never suspected a thing as they walked. They made it to Leo's house and checked the door. It was locked and the car was gone. Leo fished around in his pockets and pulled out his keys.
"So what do you want to do now Leo? I mean should we sit and talk about us..." Ryan looks at Leo and moves his finger back and forth to himself and Leo. "...I mean is there an us?"
Leo smiled, grabbed Ryan's paw and walked inside. Leo dragged Ryan to his room, shut and locked his door. Ryan didn't know what just happened to him. One minute he was outside and the next he was in Leo's room, door locked and Leo kissing him deeply. Ryan thought of fighting back and pushing Leo away but he couldn't. He relaxed and kissed Leo back and holding him close. Ryan broke the kiss after a few minutes past by.
"Does that answer you question?" Leo said nuzzling Ryan's neck.
"Yes it does but..." Ryan lowered his voice and pushed Leo back a bit.
"But what? Is there something wrong?" Leo stroked Ryan's arm.
"Yeah you could say that." Ryan moved away from Leo and sat on Leo's bed.
"What's wrong? Is it me? Oh gods I came on too strong didn't I? Damn I always do this."
Leo said putting his paw on his forehead.
"No it's no you. You didn't come on too strong I liked it. It's just that I haven't told my mom you were... you know...gay and I haven't said anything about me being bi. I doubt that she would have let me stay over if I had."
"I see and what do you think she would say if..." There was a knock at the door.
"Leo dear are you there?" The voice seemed a little worried.
"Is Ryan in there with you?" A second voice called out. The second sounded a bit more stern and scruffy.
"Yes mum and dad. We're talking about something that happened earlier today."
"Is it about Ryan and his father?" Leo's mother said.
Ryan stood up and walked to the door and unlocked it. He opened the door slowly.
"Yes we are and that's why we locked the door. I didn't want anyone to come in while I was talking about it. I don't like other's sympathy all that much. Sorry."
"Oh well it's ok Leo's father doesn't either he thinks that he doesn't need it."
"Hey now I accept it from others. When I choose to."
"Ryan we need to talk about something." Leo's mother said.
"What about?"
"Yeah mum what about?" Leo said. He some how ended up next to Ryan.
"The police are at your house. We saw them on our way home." Ryan's father said.
"You didn't do anything while you were out did you?" He said sternly.
"No we just went to the arcade and the bowling alley. I don't know why the cops would be at my house I mean we haven't done any...No!" Ryan ran out of the room. Leo's dad caught him by his arm.
"What's wrong?" Leo's parents said at the same time.
Ryan looked at Leo and then to Leo's parents then back to Leo. Ryan dropped his gaze to the floor and started to shake.
"Leo it was him. He came back for my mom and me. I have to go and see if she's all right."
"I figured that was the case. Mom, Dad I think this has to do with Ryan's father. He was fighting with Ryan when I went to pick him up today. Ryan was doing good but his father was fighting dirty so I jumped in."
Leo's father let go of Ryan's arm. Ryan was shaking even more. He looked up and his eyes had changed. The calm and timidness was gone and in its place was pure hatred.
"If he hurt her I'm going to Kill him with my own claws" Ryan growled.
He turned and walked down the hall and out the door. Leo was right behind him followed by Leo's father.
"Ryan clam down mate. Don't do anything stupid this is what your dad wants. He wants you to come after him." Leo said grabbing Ryan's arm and stopping him.
"Let me go Leo." Ryan growled.
Leo looked at Ryan in shock. There was something different about him. He had changed, he was no longer the wolf-dog he was in love with but a revenge and rage driven beast. Leo let go of Ryan.
"I'm coming with you. I want to be there to protect you incase something happens."
"Fine just stay out of my way." Ryan turned and ran. Ryan was faster than Leo thought.
"Leo you can't do this alone. Your friend is too angry to think I'm going to go and be the voice of reason. Get in the car we can get there before Ryan and stop the senseless violence that may occur."
Leo and his father jump in the car and drive to Ryan's house. When they got there they went inside and saw the bodies of two cops lying on the floor.
Ryan ran as fast as he could his angry building. He wanted to get there faster so he could tear his father apart. He pushed himself to run faster. He never felt this way before, he felt that nothing could touch him. Something inside him was stirring something dark and evil. Ryan could feel it and he didn't care he wanted to just kill. Kill the one who caused him to feel so much pain and fear. Ryan was half way home when he heard something that made him stop.
"Ryan! Ryan! Don't go home!" a voice called from some bushes.
"Who's there?" he barked.
"It's me don't you know your own mother's voice?"
"Mom?" Ryan's voice changed and his temper vanished immediately.
She stumbled out of the bushes and fell at his feet.
"He waiting for you at the house. He tried to kill me after he killed the cops." Her voice sounded like she had a sore throat. Ryan noticed that her neck fur was ruffled and patches were missing.
His anger flared up again. He stood up and pulled out his cell.
"Call the cops again and tell them send an ambulance." He ran off.
Leo and his father fought hard against Ryan's father but he was just to fast for them. They may have had a strength advantage but it did no good if they couldn't catch him. Leo's father was knocked against the wall and blacked out. Leo ran to his father's aid. Ryan's father grabbed Leo and punched him in he face then in the gut. Stunned Leo loses his balance and falls to his knees. Hank puts his paws around Leo's throat and squeezes, choking Leo.
"Tell me where my son is. I know you know I saw you two walking together."
"I'll...never ...tell you." Leo said through his attacker's grip.
"Well then you are just going to have to die if you don't tell me." Hank squeezed harder.
Leo started to fade when he was suddenly released from the death grip. He heard Ryan screaming and jolted to consciousness. Ryan and Hank were fighting hard. They looked like wild animals fighting. Ryan was pretty banged up, few cuts here and there and what seemed to be a mark on his neck.
Hank was no better looking. His face had scratch marks on it and his neck had bite marks too.
Both of them had their clothes torn and ripped to shreds. They fought so viscously that Leo seemed scared of Ryan. He couldn't move he was transfixed on the two raging furs in front of him.
"You hurt my mother and now it's my turn to hurt you. You are going to feel the pain and fear that I felt for years." Ryan growled and snarled.
"Come on then son show me what you are made of!"
"Never call me your son again!" Ryan charged at his father and slashed at him with his claws.
Hank moved and Ryan fell to the ground with a slash from his father's claw. Hank pulled a hunting knife from a sheath on his leg. Ryan started to stand up but was kicked down again. Leo stood up and shook his head trying to clear it.
Leo growled and charged Hank tackling him and knocking the knife across the room. Ryan picked himself up and coughed up some blood. Leo held hank down trying to hold him in such a way as not to be in any danger. Hank grabbed Leo with his legs and pulled him backwards slamming him into the ground. Ryan was stood up and wiped some blood from his mouth. Hank crawled to the knife and stood up.
"Ryan! You want to be the mate of this lion. Then you have be it in another life!" Hank yelled.
Ryan turned around and saw his father running at him. He had no time to react. The knife pierced his flesh and dug itself into his stomach. Ryan winced and fell to his knees, blood leaking from his muzzle.
"Now to finish off your little lion friend." Hank turned around and walked to Leo who had crawled over to his father and was trying to wake him up.
"Here kitty, kitty. It's your turn to die." Hank smiled evilly.
Hank felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw Ryan standing there. Ryan had pulled the knife out of his stomach and was now holding it in his paw.
"You can't kill me that easily old man and no it's not his turn to die. It's yours." Ryan growled. He slashed his father's throat with the knife. Hank grabbed his throat with one paw and Ryan's collar with the other. He fell to the ground as he did breaking Ryan's collar and holding it in his paw. Ryan stood there glaring at his father's dying corpse. He slowly walked over to Leo and looked down at him.
Leo smiled at Ryan and stood up. At the same time Ryan fell into Leo's arms and dropping the knife held Leo close.
"I'm sorry Leo. I don't think I'm going to make it love..." Ryan coughed and wiped blood from his muzzle.
"...He got me good." Ryan lifted his paw revealing a large stab wound.
"No. Don't talk like that Ryan. You are going to make it the ambulance is on it's way I can hear it." Leo said as he started to cry.
"Leo...it's too late for me. Tell my mother I lover her."
"I will love but you can tell her yourself when we get to the hospital." Leo had tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Oh Leo. I told you already I'm not long for this world. I just wish that I could have lived a little longer to love you in a way that only mates could. I love you Leo. Goodbye my love." Ryan closes his eyes and goes limp in Leo's arms.
"Ryan? Ryan? Ryyyaaaannn!" Leo roared. He sat there rocking back and forth with his dead mate in his arms. Leo's father woke up and saw Leo holding Ryan.
"Leo? Son is he?"
Leo looked up and tears rolling down his face. The police and paramedics came in and saw the mess. The paramedics checked Hank and the two cops lying there on the floor and pronounced them dead. They checked Leo's father and took him to the ambulance. They came back to get Leo and Ryan but Leo was up and carrying Ryan out the door. Leo was still crying but he wasn't going to let go of Ryan. Katie some how ended up at Ryan's house and saw Leo carrying Ryan out.
"Leo!" She called out and ran to him crying.
"Leo is Ryan really dead?"
Leo nodded and continued to hole Ryan. He looked up and saw Ryan's mother. He carried Ryan over to her.
"No. No! My baby! My poor little Ryan!" She burst into tears and ran to Leo meeting him half way.
"I'm sorry mam but Ryan didn't make it. He fought with so much bravery and love for you and me that he gave his life for us." Leo knelt down due to the weight that Ryan's mom was putting on him trying to hold Ryan. They sat there crying for a long time holding Ryan in their arms.
One month went by since Ryan's death and Leo and Katie went to Ryan's grave.
Placing flower on Ryan's tombstone Leo kneeled down and began to speak.
"Hey Ryan. It's us. We came to se you and tell you that we miss you mate. Katie has found herself a mate and he's a good guy. He's almost like you except that isn't a wolf-dog and isn't into guys." Leo chuckled and a tear formed in his eye.
"I haven't seen anyone since the day you died. I just can't seem to find anyone as good as you. Cliff is alright but I can't love anyone anymore. I still love you too much to move on."
"Ryan we miss you and we love you. I hope that you are in a better place. What happened to you is something that everyone will remember." Katie said.
"Ryan seeing you that day. Fighting the way you were. I have to admit hat I was a little scared of you. Ryan, My dear Ryan You saved my life and my father's thank you. I know that they buried you two weeks ago but it seems like forever since you died." Leo said sobbing. Katie put her paw on Leo's shoulder.
"Come on Leo let's go."
"You go ahead I'll catch up."
Katie turned and slowly walked off.
Leo Reached into his pocket and pulled out Ryan's old collar. The collar that Leo had given him and that was now broken from the fight. He held the collar close to his chest and kissed it before putting it on Ryan's tombstone.
"Good-bye my love." Leo said as he stood up and brushed off his pants. He turned around and looked in to the sky as a breeze began to blow.
"We will meet again my love. I promise you we will." Leo walked away with a tear in his eye.
END.