Earth's New Masters Part 8 Chasing My Tail

Story by firefromheaven on SoFurry

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#10 of Earth's New Masters

Author's note

A fair number of the readers are looking at the ...


Author's note

A fair number of the readers are looking at the Sheps as villains in this story. Please read this before you make up your mind.

There seems to be quite a bit of confusion about the state of mankind before the Sheps invaded. Mankind was in the middle of an ongoing self inflicted apocalypse. If you read The Hunt Is On, mankind had embraced world wide collectivism/communism, known unimaginatively as the Collective. It was run by a small group of Illuminati. As was typical of all collectives, anyone that didn't believe in the collective was sent to a "reeducation camp" (aka concentration camp) to have their mind made right. If they couldn't be "reeducated" they were eliminated. This is consistent with all forms of progressivism/collectivism. (Mao killed 49-78,000,000, Jozef Stalin 23,000,000, Adolf Hitler 12,000,000, Pol Pot 1,700,000 and Kim Il Sung 1,600,000 being the most egregious examples). When the Weather Underground was trying to foment a communist revolution in the US, William Ayers felt that they would have to eliminate about 25 million Americans to keep from having a counterrevolution. ( http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/eyewitness-to-the-ayers-revolution/ )

Between the reeducation camps, war and world wide famine caused by world wide collectivism, 90% of Earths population perished. Nearly all of the best and brightest that questioned the collective perished, leaving only the lazy and stupid to reproduce. The collective controlled every aspect of life, from what you had to eat, to how often and who you could have sex with. They determined what your job would be, where you worked, where you could travel, even what time you had to go to bed. To further discourage individualism they did away with names and replaced them with numbers.

Small numbers of humans saw this coming and managed to set up survivalist communities, these are the feral humans in the story. They are human beings as you and I know them, people with ambitions, hopes and dreams and a strong sense of the individual, none of which the domesticated humans were capable of.

This is the situation the Sheps found when they came to liberate humanity from the Collective. The people had become sheeple, and were no longer genetically capable of taking care of themselves independently. They were given as much autonomy as they could handle, which wasn't much. They still didn't have names but had titles instead of numbers, which was stressful enough for them at first. The domesticated humans at this time have no desire to revolt, their lot is infinitely better than it was when they were part of the collective. They look at the Sheps as liberators from the soul crushing oppression of the collective. A new character will eventually be introduced, an old man who was alive before the collective and lived through it, that will be able to tell the story of the days of the collective. While the Sheps have treated these people compassionately, they have nothing but contempt for them for what they let humanity descend to.

Remember the Sheps are half Human, and have a great affinity for humans. They originally came back to liberate people from the death grip of the World Wide Collective and to teach them the power of the individual and a free society. The Sheps at first felt that they could only be caretakers to what was left of mankind, at least that was what they felt until the discovered the "ferals". The ferals are the only possible avenue for redemption of mankind. They just haven't figured out how to handle the ferals. True humanity has been bred out of the domesticated humans, genetically most of them are pretty much incapable of ever being self sufficient again. The Illuminati were executed for crimes against humanity. The Sheps would never have been able to use them as breeding stock to reestablish an independent human population because they were pure evil and power hungry.

So give the Sheps a chance, before you condemn them. Woden is very wise, I think he will do the right thing.

Earth's New Masters Part 8 Chasing My Tail

All night I dreamed things were right again between my Master and me. He loved me and I idolized him, like it should be. At least it was like that until I woke up. My Master was still asleep, his arm around me, holding me possessively to his broad muscular chest. While I was still groggy from whatever my Master's semen had in it, I was content. As it slowly wore off, I began to ponder my situation and my resentment started to return. How could I be a real man and submit to someone. Real men were Alphas, not some little beta that took it up the ass from a superior. I thought about my Master's pups hating me, about the terrible cravings that I was feeling when I went too long without my Master's semen and most of all how my Master coveted David. The warm feeling that I had in my heart for my Master was rapidly dissipating and my resentment was building up inside of me. I slowly extricated myself from my Master's embrace and moved over to the other side of my Master's king size bed. It was cold without the heat from my Master's warm furry body. The Sheps kept their houses cold and slept without blankets; they were always warm because of their thick double coat. It was about half an hour before my Master woke up, by that time I was shivering.

"Beau, what are you doing over there? Get over here before you get a chill." He said as he stretched his arm over to pull me toward him. I tensed up resentfully as he pulled me toward him. "What's wrong Beau, you were fine with me holding you last night."

"Yes Master, I WAS fine with it last night when I was out of my mind with whatever you are controlling me with."

"I'm not controlling you with anything; the effects just reduce your inhibitions, Beau. Deep inside you want to be with me."

"How do you know what I want? And my name is not Beau, it's Jeff!"

That got my Master hot! "Your fucking name is whatever I say it is Beau."

"My name is Jeff; Woden let David keep his name."

"Well maybe I did name you wrong; I named you Beau or lover. But it seems I overestimated you, I should have named you FT, short for Fuck Toy because that seems to be all that you are good for. You give me your body when you need relief from your addiction, but all you give me is your body. David loves Woden with his whole soul and he makes it obvious. Yes, FT is your name from now on, until you get your act together! And I told you before that whether you like me or not, you WILL treat me with respect. You will refer to me as Master or Sir, FT."

"Yes Master." I spat the word at him.

"Go to your room and get dressed. I will bring you something to eat in your room. I will not subject my wife and pups to being around you when you are acting like this. Why can't you just know your place and accept me as your master, like David does Woden, then we could both have what we want."

"Because I'm not fucking perfect like David, 'Master'." I said with biting sarcasm. Instead of letting me walk to my room, he clipped my leash on, escorted me to my room and locked me in. He was so angry he didn't even talk to me he just locked the door and left.

I went over and looked at myself in the mirror. I was short, at only 5'6" or so I was the shortest by far in our tribe, but I was powerfully built, packing about 180 lbs of muscle onto that frame. I had a thin waist and a big chest and arms. I frowned when I looked at my hands, which like my feet were also small. I might not be tall but I had worked harder than anyone else and built myself up so well that no one even thought of messing with me. My nickname among the tribe was the Little Red Bull, unfortunately, although none of them knew, "Little" was accurate for more than my height. I had long red hair and a good thick red beard, like an Alpha should have. My Master was going to shave my beard so I'd look like an omega. I wasn't an omega, real men may be betas, but they sure as hell aren't omegas. And real men don't take it up the ass from anyone. I had lots of freckles and even though red haired people don't usually tan easily, I had somewhat of a tan since we were always outside. That is except under my loincloth, where my skin was milky white. I also knew I wasn't very big down there, which was always something I had been sensitive about. While we never saw each other naked, a lot of the more well-endowed men in the tribe would proudly whip theirs out to take a wiz. All of them were bigger than I was and some of them much bigger, I always pretended modesty and never let anyone see me out of embarrassment. I was slightly less than 5" hard and not real thick. David was the only other man I had ever seen erect (that shameless slut had been naked and erect a lot for Woden when we were on our way to the airport) and even though he was only 16 and probably still growing down there, he was at least an inch and a half longer and much thicker. Because of this I had always tried to prove I was a real man by being better at everything than the others. And I was until fucking David came along. Why did God send him to fuck up my life? Was it to put down my pride?

In about 15 minutes my Master came back carrying something on a plate. He came in and put it on my desk.

"Here is a sausage and egg biscuit. I'm too angry right now to stay with you and eat it. Plus I need to spend some time with my family, they need me too. If you would get your act together you could join us and we could be a family." He didn't wait for a response; he just left and locked the door.

The biscuit was tasty, but I had to force it down. My appetite was completely gone; I had never seen my master so angry. And he had every right to be. My behavior was causing a complete disruption of this once happy family. My Master's pups were acting out because they felt their father was neglecting them, because he was spending too much time with me. If I would just accept my place we could all be happy. We could all be spending time together rather than me forcing my Master to split his time, and forcing him to spend the lion's share of it just trying to cope with me. Just because of my pride, my need to be an Alpha and prove my worth as a man. When it was obvious my Master was my superior in every way, and I knew it deep in my heart. He was loving, powerful and honorable, I should be grateful I belonged to him. I reached up and felt my name plate on my collar. I thought of the inscription: Beau Property Of Loki. How it was given to me with love, and how I was far happier and content than I had ever been in my life when I had surrendered to my master and let him take charge of my life. Why couldn't I just let it go and surrender to him again? He still wanted to love me. Why was my fucking pride more important to me than my happiness?

I couldn't stand being alone with myself; all it made me do is ponder about my pride and stupidity. So I picked up the remote control for the TV and turned it on. Even though I knew what was going to happen I jumped when it turned on. I vaguely remembered the buttons my Master had pushed when showing it to me. I randomly changed the "channels" as my Master had called them. There was a show on cooking, one where Sheps were engaged in some kind of athletic game and then I came to one that told what was going on in the world. They talked about a lot of stuff I didn't understand. I was just about ready to change the channel when David's picture came up on the screen.

"Well our Alpha returned yesterday from a successful feral hunting trip, and he bagged a real trophy pet. David, he was allowed to keep his name, from all accounts is an ideal pet and is adjusting quickly to life in civilization. He worships his master and Woden is just as head over heels in love with his pet." A disembodied voice said. "We spoke to the Alpha's wife Freyja, who said the family is thrilled with the new 'first feral'."

A stunning female Shep flashed on the screen. "We are so pleased with David, he has fit in perfectly. He is so sweet, innocent and affectionate. It's like having another son. And the pups adore him, they already refer to him as their 'brother', I would already trust him with all of our lives. But best of all is how he completely worships Woden; you can see it in his eyes. He would give his life for his master; I have no doubt about that. And I've never seen Woden so happy. They are like one soul in two bodies. I guess my only complaint is Woden monopolizes on him too much, the rest of us want a piece of him too." She finished with a smile.

Then Woden and David came on the screen, they were both beaming as they gazed up at a statue the announcer called the Lincoln Memorial. Woden had his arm around David as he gave background on the Memorial. The love on their faces was so joyous. David was gazing up in his masters face with a look of awe. I doubt he was taking in a word Woden was saying, he was just mesmerized by his master.

I couldn't take it any longer; I had to turn off the TV. I buried my head in the pillow and started crying. Why couldn't I be like David? I cried myself to sleep.

My Master came back in at noon with a "hamburger and fries" for my lunch and woke me up. "Hey Beau, get up it's time for lunch." My once seemingly invincible master looked haggard; the situation seemed to be wearing on him too. I woke up and opened my eyes. "Have you been crying?" He asked with obvious concern.

"No Master." I lied.

"Are you sure?"

My anger flared, for no good reason, other than I was still fuming over David, "Yes I am sure, what the fuck would I be crying about!" I regretted it as soon as the words were out of my mouth.

"I was just concerned FT," his concern instantly turning to anger. "And I told you, you will treat me with respect."

I gazed down at his feet and said, "I'm sorry Master, I was already angry about something else. That still doesn't excuse me taking it out on you Master."

"Do you want to talk about it?" His anger was still there but it was tempered with concern.

I kept my eyes at my Master's feet and just shook my head. Things had deteriorated so much I just didn't think I could talk to my Master about it any more. I think he was in the same predicament.

"Well go ahead and eat your lunch. I'll be back in about 15 minutes, and then we need to go." Still agitated, he walked out and shut the door.

I had no idea where we were going. I pouted and toyed with my food. I had never eaten French fries before, they were delicious but I just couldn't enjoy them. I had eaten less than a quarter of my lunch, when my Master returned.

"Didn't you like your lunch, do you want something different?" My Master asked with concern.

"No Master, I'm just not hungry." I said in a completely subdued voice.

"Well let's go." He said as he clipped my leash onto my collar. He lead me out to the car, I followed obediently. We drove in silence, when we arrived at our destination he came over to my door and grabbed my leash. He led me into a building that had "Gerulf's Grooming" printed on the window. I balked at the door; I didn't want my hair cut. My master tugged on my leash, "Come on Beau." I reluctantly followed him in the door.

My Master walked up to the counter and spoke to a smaller Shep. "Gerulf, this is my new feral Beau. I found a tick on his head yesterday, so I want to get his hair cut short and his beard shaved, at least until I'm sure we are rid of all the parasites."

"Wow Loki, this is the first feral we've had in here, they are pretty rare. I saw the news report on Woden's feral, it seems like he has adapted really quickly. They seem thrilled with him."

"Woden is happier than I have ever seen him; David worships the ground he walks on. He was quite a catch, I've never seen two beings that are more in love."

"So how are you doing with this one?"

"Beau is having a little harder time adjusting to being a pet, but we just got him. They don't all adapt as quickly as David."

They were talking like I wasn't even there. David again! It was like my Master was twisting the knife in my heart. He handed my leash to Gerulf.

"Come with me Beau." Gerulf commanded.

"No! Master I don't want my hair cut. Why do you have to humiliate and emasculate me like this? I don't want to look like one of the Conformists. David didn't have to get his hair cut!"

"This is not to emasculate or humiliate you; I have to make sure you don't have parasites. Now go with Gerulf and don't embarrass me." He gave me the hairy eyeball, I knew it was a warning to do what I was told or there would be hell to pay.

I put my head down and followed meekly. He sat me on a funny chair. One of the domesticated humans came over and tilted the chair back. I wasn't ready for it and I jumped. He laughed a little and said, "This your first time at the groomer?"

"Yeah." I said curtly. I didn't really want to talk to one of the loser conformists.

"This shampoo has stuff in it to kill fleas and ticks. We don't have to use it often except when we get people from the sleaziest sections of the city. Real dirtbags." Great now he was insinuating that I was an unclean scumbag. He washed my hair and dried it with hot air. I didn't want to do any of this, but I was afraid of what would happen if I misbehaved. Public embarrassment is something I doubted my Master would handle well. When he was done he lead me over to another chair in front of a big mirror and turned me over to another of the hated conformists.

"So you're one of the ferals, huh?"

"Yeah, you have a problem with that?" I said defensively.

"Not now. You're a slave like the rest of us." He said laughing.

"I'm not a slave, I'm a pet."

"Call it what you want, you're still here getting your hair cut like a nice little compliant slave." He paused for a minute then continued when I made no response. "So your that sexy one's fuck toy, lucky you. I bet you he is hung like a stallion and has potent effects. Yeah I bet you're his compliant little bitch."

"Shut the fuck up!" I bristled at the words 'fuck toy'.

"Hey relax, I'm a little jealous. I'm stuck with little old Gerulf, and I'm almost as dom as him. I can only get him going about once a week. No, I'm more than a little jealous." He picked up something and it started buzzing. "Your master wants me to give you a high and tight flattop. He must have Marine fantasies." He said with a wink that I could see in the mirror. He brought the buzzing thing up to the back of my head and I watched in the mirror in horror as my long tresses were shorn from my head and fell to the floor. I couldn't help it, I started to cry. The last little bit of my identity was being removed against my will. Soon all of it was gone, just fuzz on the sides and about a half of an inch on the top. Then to my complete horror he used the "clippers" to cut off my glorious beard that I had waited so long to be able to grow.

When my beard was nothing but stubble, he spun the chair around so it was facing him. He put hot foam on my face with a brush. Then he took a sharp knife and started cutting off my beard all the way to the skin. Soon he was done, and he took a hot towel and wiped the foam and stubble from my face. He splashed some liquid on his hands, rubbed them together and said, "This is going to sting a little,"then he rubbed it all over my face. It did sting a little and I flinched at first, but then it felt refreshing. He spun me around so I could look in the mirror. "See, now you look like a nice tame human straight from the collective." He said with a smirk.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and was heartbroken. I didn't even recognize the being staring at me out of the mirror. I would have looked down my nose at any human that looked that pathetic. Now not only was I worthless, I looked the part too. I looked just like any omega Conformist human you might find walking down the street. He took the apron off of me, snapped my leash onto my collar and led me out to the lobby to my Master.

"Here Sir, is this how you wanted it?" The groomer asked my Master, with his head bowed almost in reverence.

"Yes, that's exactly what I wanted. Just put it on my tab with the rest of my humans."

"Yes Sir." The groomer said with a respect for my Master bordering on awe. I remembered how he had said he was jealous of me having such a virile master. Well it was obvious that he wasn't lying, you could tell by the longing in his gaze. He looked like if my Master would have asked that he would have dropped his pants for him right here in the waiting room. Well his gaze AND the obvious bulge in his pants. It looked every bit as big as David's, putting mine to shame. Even the damn domesticated humans were bigger than I was; maybe I wasn't much of a man after all.

My Master walked me out to the car and let me in the passenger's side, removed my leash, closed the door on me. When he got in the drivers side he said with a smile, "You look handsome all groomed up like that Beau!"

"I look like a fucking Conformist, like a slave." I said thinking back to what the groomer had told me. There was no anger in my voice, there was very little fight left in me. One by one the things that made me me were being taken from me.

"I'm sorry Beau, it had to be done. I couldn't have you bringing parasites in. Does it really bother you that much?" My Master said as he put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me. I just let it lie there.

"It shouldn't make any difference to a slave; I'm beginning to realize that now."

"Beau, you are not a slave! You're a pet. You're supposed to be my companion and I had hoped my lover."

"Yeah. As long as I do whatever you say. The groomer was right; all I am is your compliant little 'Fuck Toy'. I'm here for your amusement and pleasure, and that's it. I used to be a leader, and had pride in myself. But first David and now this. Boy it sucks to be me!"

"Beau, you used to like it when you were first with me." My Master replied pleadingly.

"I could say the same thing about you!' I retorted bitingly, "Now I'm not good enough for the 'Great Loki'."

"I told you, you WILL treat me with respect. You will call me Master or Sir. Maybe when you earn my respect, I will allow you to call me Loki."

"Well my fucking name isn't Beau Master. It's Jeff."

"And I told you before; your fucking name is whatever I say it is FT." He said glaring at me.

We rode the rest of the way home in silence. Half way home, when my Master was concentrating on driving I took the opportunity to look at him without having to look him in the eye. I looked at him while thinking about what the groomer said. He was incredibly virile and handsome; any man should feel honored to be chosen by such a clearly superior being. Considering that he was also kind and honorable, my reluctance bordered on stupidity. Truth be told I really wasn't worthy of being his pet, he deserved better than me. Even now when I didn't need him, I knew deep down inside I wanted him. Desperately! There was no reason I should be denying myself what I really wanted. I was always so happy when I submitted to my Master. I felt safe, secure and loved when I let myself love him, why do I have to be so stubborn and resentful? But I had worked so hard to prove I was a man and a leader, it was hard to admit even to myself that I was happier by far with my Master taking care of me. Was it really that bad being his Beau instead of Jeff?

We pulled into the garage, my Master came over to my side and put my leash back on, then led me into the house. I was still on a leash because I couldn't be trusted. As we went in the house the pups were waiting excitedly inside to greet their father. When they saw me following him in the door their faces dropped.

"I'll spend some time with you pups later, as soon as I get Beau settled in his room." I was walking a couple of steps behind on my leash. When his father passed far enough that he couldn't see him, Fenrir flipped me the bird, and mouthed "fuck you loser" to me. There was such venom in his eyes that it frightened me.

We walked past my Master's wife, she looked somewhat displeased. "Well, what do you think of Beaus haircut?" My Master asked.

"Well at least now he looks like a respectable little human, maybe it will change his attitude."

"Oh come on Sigyn, give him a chance, he's only been here for a day. It's a lot to get used to."

"Well I was over Freyja's house and she was telling me about their feral David. She couldn't quit going on and on and on about how wonderful he is... How affectionate, courteous and obedient he is... How much he loves her and the kids... And especially how much he worships Woden. He sounds nothing like Beau, and they've been here the same amount of time."

I turned scarlet between the shame and embarrassment and anger about being shown up by David, AGAIN.

"Sig, not all of them are like David. At first Beau was doing better than all of the rest, he's just had a little setback. Besides it's Woden, who wouldn't surrender to him. Hell, I would and have, he's my Alpha."

"Well your not chopped liver yourself Loki. You are "The Beta" of this whole expedition, only Woden is above you. Any feral with half a brain should be proud to belong to you. I was all for you getting a feral, but I never realized how much it would disrupt our family."

"Sig, it's not that bad. Give it a little time."

"Yes Loki, it is that bad. The pups are acting out because you aren't paying attention to them like you used to. And for what? That ungrateful human to sulk and pout all the time, when he's not being downright disrespectful. Any of the Sheps other than Woden would show you more respect than Beau. In fact I've seen you jump all over them for much less insolence than this feral gets away with."

"Hon, there is a part of him deep down inside that is everything I could want. He showed it to me the first couple of days, so I know it's there. I just have to bring it back out."

"But at what cost Loki, the destruction of our family? This can't go on much longer."

"Hon, I'm sure I can get it straightened out soon."

He led me to my room. The strain was showing even more on my Master, and it was all my fault. For the first time I really thought about what I was putting him through. He took my leash off at the door and hung it on the hook outside the door before we went in. "Sit over there on the bed; I'm going to teach you how to play video games. It will give you something to do when you have to be in here by yourself. This is one of the old ones that the pups don't play any more, it's called Super Mario. It's less complicated for a beginner like you to learn."

He went over and turned the TV on and hooked up the "game console". Within half an hour I was playing on my own. I was so engrossed in the game that I didn't even notice when my Master put his arm around me. It felt good and subconsciously I leaned into him. I felt so safe and secure. When I finally realized what as going on it felt too right to stop. My Master was looking right at me. I turned so I was facing him. He was so powerful and handsome I couldn't help myself, I put my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to kiss him. I brought my lips to his and soon my lips parted for that long fat Shep tongue to penetrate. My Master was soon in complete control, and it felt so good. I was hardening, and this time it had nothing to do with any addiction, just lust for the sexy being I called Master.

After we kissed for a few minutes I pulled away. My Master looked hurt for a second, until he realized that I was dropping to my knees in front of him. I realized that Sigyn was right I was lucky to have such a master. He may not be "The Alpha" but he was Alpha to everyone else, and he was sure as hell Alpha to me. It felt so right, kneeling in front of my Master as I prepared to willingly worship him like a good pet should. I gazed up at him adoringly and he beamed down approvingly at me. I reached up and cupped my Masters huge black balls gently with my left hand; they felt firm, full and heavy. I bent forward and took his still flaccid member between my lips, and gently sucked the head out of his sheath. He immediately started to harden as I ran my tongue around his corona. When he was stiff enough I pursed my lips tightly around his shaft and used them to peel back the sheath as my head worked it's way down his still growing doghood. Soon he was hard as a rock. I straddled him and knelt on the bed so we were face to face (well given our respective heights it was more like face to chest), lining him up with my nether hole. I didn't care if it would mean I wasn't a real man, my Master deserved it. I slowly lowered myself on that perfect 10" shaft, until I was sitting on his lap. I put my arms around his neck and pulled his head down to me to kiss him again. This time I was the aggressor and I ran my tongue across his teeth and then explored what little of his mouth I could reach with my short little tongue. In the mean time I started slowly raising and lowering myself on my Master. It felt like he was reaching the center of my being, and I was helping him claim me as his. We broke our kiss and I gently pushed him back until he was on his back and then I followed him down and rolled us over so he was on top of me.

"Please Master, take me!" I begged.

He didn't say a word but took charge and started to thrust deeply into me. He moaned as he released the first volley of precum into me. I felt it immediately, any lingering resistance I may have had had no chance. My surrender would be complete.

"Oh yeah, you really want it this time." My Master said huskily in my ear. "Who's my little bitch now?"

"I'm your bitch, Master."

He pulled out until only the head was in me and held it there teasingly. "I think the little bitch ought to beg the big dog for it."

"Please Master, I want you bad." I wanted to give myself to my Master. Maybe I was a compliant little Fuck Toy, but I was getting it from an Alpha Shep, not some little Omega Shep like the fucking groomer. I was teetering on the brink of release, but still my Master held back.

"That's not good enough."

Please Master, mark me! Make me yours! Show your unworthy feral who his Alpha is." I pleaded with urgency in my quavering voice, as I pulled him to me and buried my face in his thick chest fur.

"You asked for it bitch." He grunted as he slammed it home, jarring my prostate and sending me over the edge. My balls slammed up against my body as I exploded into his belly fur, which had been rubbing my cock. I shot spurt after spurt as he pistoned in and out of me, that huge member leaking pre almost nonstop. That was enough to keep me from going soft after I came. I was still stiff as steel and was starting to work toward my crescendo.

My Master stopped long enough to put my knees over his shoulders so I was wide open to him. He was thrusting into me with an urgency I had never felt from him before. He was down to the final short sharp thrusts as his knot started rapidly expanding. With one final thrust he erupted into my depths. "You're MINE now," he screamed out. I had willingly submitted to my Master and it felt so right. I felt so loved and secure, and now I was drifting off into that semen induced euphoria. Instead of resting his weight on me my Master rolled us over so I was resting on top of him as he continued to pulse seed into me. He held my head to his chest and caressed the back of my head; it felt so weird to have his paw rubbing against the stubble instead of my long flowing tresses. Deep down inside I still resented that my Master had cut my hair. That was the last thing I remembered before I floated off into oblivion.

I woke up about an hour later when my Master deflated and pulled out. I felt so empty, I held my Master close, but after about 15 minutes of cuddling he said, "Beau I need to go and spend some time with the pups before dinner. I'll come back up to get you for dinner later."

While I was there by myself it gave me time to think. I reached up and rubbed the back of my head. I could feel the stubble on my head, rubbing it felt kind of weird but not unpleasant. I thought about how my Master had cut off my hair and beard, how he didn't care how I felt about it. How important my hair and beard were to me. It got me thinking and I started resenting my master again. Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy. I knew that every time I let go and surrendered to my Master that I was happy, not just happy but I felt complete. The hole in my life called loneliness, that gaping void in my soul disappeared. Why couldn't I just accept that my place in the order of things was as my Master's pet? But I couldn't, my fucking pride always got in the way. Maybe it was habit. All my life I've had insecurities about my size, both height and the size of my member, and it has made me question my manhood. I've always used it to push myself to be the best, to prove that I was a real man. Can you be a real man and SUBMIT? Is it wrong even if it makes your life complete?

My mind turned to negative thoughts. My Master had cut my hair and beard against my will, never mind that he may have had a legitimate reason, he didn't give me a voice in the matter... And now he had left me alone in my room... If I submitted was I any better than a domesticated human? His wife and kids didn't want me here.... He insisted that I call him Master or Sir... He made me beg for it just now... He called me his bitch... He controlled me with whatever it is in his semen... He called me FT... He was jealous of David, that one really started my blood boiling... I had to wear a collar and leash, and David didn't... It was a sin to be with a male... It was even more of a sin to enjoy it...

Maybe I could get this out of my head by playing Nintendo. I turned on the game console and started playing. Soon I got into the pattern of the game, but that made things worse. The same things kept running through my mind in a random order, one after another, almost like verses of a song playing to the stupid music of the game. I was working myself up into a frenzy. I was so confused.

So it seems Jeff has a Napoleon Complex. He is small of stature and not very well endowed, so all his life he has tried to prove he was a "real man". Has this behavior become so internalized that he will never be able to overcome it, despite the fact that he knows being Loki's pet and submitting to him makes him happy? Only time will tell, but how much more time does he have?