~Dean My Dream~
Hey guys, here's my second story. Just telling now, it's MUCH longer than my first one so just bare with me. Hope you guys like it <3
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I felt completely immobilized. In light of all of the commotion around me, it seemed that all my attention was focused onto him, and all I could do was stand and stare. And no matter how hard I tried to shift my gaze, all I could do was stand with my vision completely transfixed on him. This wasn't the first time I've seen someone like him, someone wearing all black. He was wearing a black T-Shirt, black baggy jeans, even his fur and hair was black. As a matter of fact, the things that weren't black on this guy were his pair of deep and almost ominous blood-red eyes, and three silver studs which he had on each ear. I couldn't figure it out, but there was something that made me feel attracted to him. It was like I was in a trance.
"Yo Hayden!" yelled a voice from behind me, causing me to jump. I whirled around to come face to face with Riley, my stepbrother. The lanky fox leered at me with a stern look of irritation, impatiently tapping his foot. "Quit spacin' out 'n c'mon, bro! We're gunna' get left behind!"
"Oh right, sorry!"
I snapped out of my trance and followed Riley. But just before boarding the subway train, I looked back to catch one last glance of him. And when I did, he was gone. I had no idea who he even was, and yet, I couldn't help but feel kind of sad. I turned back around and when to sit next to my stepbrother, who had already got himself comfortable on the car seat.
"Phew! We made it!" I said as I attempted to catch my breath "We almost didn't make it!"
"And whose fault was that?"
"Oh be quiet Ri,"
My name's Hayden, as Riley stated before. Riley and I are both fifteen years old and we go to the same school, St. Joseph's Academy for Boys. I myself am a dingo. Like most dingoes, my fur is tan and light brown. While my hair is naturally a dirty blonde, I've dyed it red (my favorite color).
Riley and I have been shopping in the mall in the subway all day. There are only a couple malls here in Whitestone City, and the subway mall is the only one that has stores we actually like.
"So Hayd," started Riley passing me a glance "Why were you starin' at that one guy for, like, forever?" I felt an uncomfortable pit form in my stomach as a bead of cold sweat trickle down my right temple "Haven't you ever seen a Goth before?"
"No Riley it's not that,"
"Then what is it then? You've been staring at him as if he was some busty chick in a wet white t-shirt or something. You're not in love are you?" he said giving me an obnoxious, sarcastic smirk.
My ears perked up as my face was flushed red.
"Absolutely not!" I exclaimed
"Okay fine be that way. Hide in your little closet. It's your problem not mine buddy," I rolled my eyes at my sarcastic brother "...But even if you were in love with him, so what? I wouldn't care, you're my bro. What you do in bed with dudes is your own business,"
"Oh good grief Riley. Enough of the gay jokes okay. I'm straight! I may not know why I was staring at him, but it's not because I'm in love with him!!" At least I hope not.
"Sheesh dude, I was just picking with you! I know you don't swing that way, so why are you taking this so seriously?"
"I'm not taking it seriously! I just hate being picked with, especially when it's about...something like that!"
After about a ten minute ride, it came to be our stop. He and I stepped off the train and walked down the street to our apartment. His mom and my dad got married about two years ago. He and I didn't really get along at first, I found him immature and really obnoxious, and he thought I was a stuck up, stick-in-the-mud. But after we got to know each other better, he became my really irritating best friend.
The apartment that our family lives in is in the west side of town. It takes about fifteen minutes to get to school, and twice as long just to go to church. The apartment isn't that big really. Riley and I actually have to share the same room and sleep in the same bed because the apartment we live in is so small. If I wanted to bring a friend from school over to spend the night, he'd have to sleep on the pull-out couch in the living room or on the floor, him or Riley one. The apartment may not be new or spacious, but it's our home.
"Mom! Dad! Riley and I are home," I exclaimed as Riley and I walked in.
Riley and I tossed our shoes at the side of the wall and headed into the living room. My dad was laying sprawled out on the couch, all comfy in his Family Guy pajama pants and the last month's issue of Furries magazine over his face. He was reclining backwards with his belly hanging out of his dingy white A-Shirt and a string of drool running down the corner of his mouth. This was the nap he takes in between his midday nap and his after supper nap. He might seem like a lazy bastard, but he works two jobs, a part time job in the day at a fast-food restaurant and a fulltime job after dark as a bartender at a local bar; there's only a four hour gap in between the two of them so he needs the multiple naps. He's been saving up to find us a permanent and much larger place to live, since he and my stepmom are thinking of having a child of their own together.
"Oh, welcome home boys," said a voice from the kitchen
Out from the kitchen threshold came a middle-aged vixen dressed up in a posh black pantsuit, Riley's mom. Riley's mom is more or less my father's foil. While dad's often stern and serious, mom's more laidback and sarcastic and would make a joke out of something just to break the anxiety or lighten up the mood than be all serious about it. Riley and I are both chips of our old blocks.
"Did you two have fun shopping?"
"Yeah," I replied "But it took me almost forever to get Riley out of Hot Topic,"
"Hey! They had new GIR t-shirts!" spat Riley "And besides, I had to drag you out of Barnes and Noble! Since when is readin' books fun?!"
Riley's mom giggled.
"Well I'm glad you two enjoyed yourselves. I've almost got dinner ready. Go wash your paws 'kay? Oh, and Hayden sweetie, could you wake your father up?"
"Sure mom,"
I walked over to the couch and nudged my dad's belly.
"Yo dad, Up-An'-Adam. Food's almost ready!"
My dad let out a light moan and twitched his eyes. He slowly raised his eyelids and gave me a glance. He gave me a little grin and sat up.
"Good afternoon, son," he said in a tired, deep voice, his breath reeking of beef jerky and cigarettes. He stood up and stretched out his arms, his pits didn't smell much better than his breath.
After washing our paws and saying grace, my family and I sat down for the dinner my stepmom prepared. The table was set with platters of pork chops and bowls of mashed potatoes, sweet corn and yeast rolls. The only thing better than the way the food looked and smelt was how good the food tasted; Riley's mom is a better cook than my biological mom ever was, may she rest in peace.
"So boys," started my dad "How's school been going?"
"It's been goin' alright," I replied "I'm doin' good in biology and bible studies but Algebra II is murderin' me, ugh, which reminds me, I have a huge test tomorrow,"
"Sorry to hear that dear," said mom, finishing chewing a forkful of pork chop "And what about you Riley?"
"More or less the same, except just about all of my classes are killing me. The only class that I've got a grade higher than a C is gym,"
"Maybe you could use a tutor?"
"Nah, it's not that I don't get the material, I'm just lazy," He and mom started laughing. Dad and I rolled our eyes; we didn't find it all that funny.
"Well I'm glad that you're both doing okay," continued my dad "I didn't know how you'd react when you starting going to that all-boy school, Hayden. You were such a lady's man in middle school I was worried you might flip out or have withdrawal or something without any girls around,"
"It hasn't been that bad really,"
"Yeah, especially when you have cute Goth boys to ogle at!" squawked Riley jokingly. Dad coughed as he swallowed his pork chop too hard.
"RILEY!!" I exclaimed as I sprung out of my chair onto my feet "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP PICKING AROUND ABOUT THAT!!"
"God Hayd calm down, I was just joking around!"
"I know, but I TOLD you that I'm SICK of it!"
"Wait, so what's this about Hayden ogling Goth boys?" started mom
I turned to her.
"It's nothing mom. It's just Riley being a jackass,"
"But you were technically ogling him," started Riley again; I just flipped him off and went back to talking to mom
"The reason I was staring at him was because he stood out! That's it and nothing more! OKAY?!!"
The room fell silent. I sat back down in my chair and let out a loud sigh.
"Sorry about the outburst..." I said. I know that I was agitated but Riley was just picking around after all. I can't believe how often I let myself get so worked up over stuff like this.
"Well frankly... I'm glad," uttered my dad, consuming some corn. "That last thing I want is for one of you boys becoming like those disgusting freaks,"
"Alvin!" spat my stepmom.
"What?"
"You know how I feel about you calling them that,"
"What, it's not like I said faggot,"
It got uncomfortably and frigidly quiet all of a sudden.
"...Boys" started my stepmom in a stern tone "Take your plates and finish your supper in your bedroom, I need to have a chat with your father,"
Riley and I looked at each other. It was probably the most serious I've ever seen of him. He and I did as mom said and went to our room. And when I closed the door behind me, I could hear my mom yell at my dad "Alvin, you know I hate it when you say things like that!"
"Hey Riley..."
"Yeah what is it?"
"How come your mom always gets so worked up everything my dad says something homophobic?"
"I dunno',"
"Whadda'ya mean you don't know?! She IS your mom,"
"Look it's just something I don't want to ask her about. Homosexuality's a touchy subject y' know,"
"Yeah I know but-"
"Just let it go Hayd," Riley went back to eating his food "It mom wanted to talk about it, she would have talked about it, kay? My mom's always been the type to speak her mind, she wouldn't keep something secret if it wasn't a huge deal, or if she promised someone she wouldn't talk about. I find life would be less dramatic if you'd just not ask any questions,"
I stayed silent. I had a feeling he wasn't being completely honest about anything he just said, or at least not telling the whole story, but either way he had a reason for keeping it hidden, so I just let it go. I just sat down on the bed next to him and let out a sigh.
"...Was your mom ever a lesbian?"
He elbowed me in the ribs and exclaimed "Oh shut up Hayd!"
Later that night, I tossed and turned in our bed. I couldn't get to sleep. I couldn't get that boy off my mind. Visions of his face and his ominous but beautiful blood-red eyes danced in my skull. Every time I tried to push those images out of my head, they fought themselves back in. And still, I kept trying, trying to keep those thoughts from my mind. I'm not gay! I'm not gay! I kept telling myself. No matter how loud I yelled those thoughts in my mind, even more thoughts yelled back at me louder You are! You are!
I buried my head in my pillow. Their yelling wouldn't stop. You are! You are gay! You are!! Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I can't be gay! I don't want to! I've heard of all of things people do to gay people. I've seen my homosexual classmates being tormented and exiled by the people around them. And most of all, I know how my dad feels about them. I don't want my dad to hate me! I don't want him to treat me like some sort of monster.
Just then, I felt a paw touch my shoulder. I turned my head and saw that it was Riley.
"You alright? He whispered
I shook my head, throwing my tears off my face. He enveloped me in his arms.
"What's up?"
I couldn't speak. It felt like my vocal chords were tied up. He looked in my eyes and sighed, I think he knew what was making me upset.
He enveloped me in his arms and he whispered into my ear "...Don't worry, everything's gunna' be alright. I'm here for ya' bro,"
I buried my face into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his body. He stroked my back reassuring and told me again "Don't worry, everything's gunna' be alright,"
...
The following morning, it was time for Riley and me to get ready to go to school. Like I mentioned earlier, we go to an all-boy academy, and like one would expect from a private school, we had to wear uniforms. But as far as school uniforms go, ours weren't really that bad, but then again I'm probably just saying that because our uniforms are red.
Our uniform consists of a white long sleeved button-up shirt, a red neck tie with a gold stripe, and matching dress-pants and jacket both donning a shade dark red whose color is somewhere between burgundy and dried blood. The jacket has three brass bottoms on the outer-side of each sleeve and the school's insignia on the breast pocket.
"Good morning boys," greeted mom in a chipper tone. It seems of both our moods have recovered from last night.
She had prepared the four of us a breakfast feast of crispy bacon, scrambled eggs and hash browns. The pleasing aroma from the food polluted the entire apartment. Riley and I sat down at the dining room table, all gussied up in our uniforms.
"You two look handsome this morning,"
"Why thank you," said Riley in a fairly boastful tone. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at him.
"So mom, when did you say you'll get home tonight?" I asked. My mom mentioned earlier this morning that she'll be getting home at a later time.
"I should be home about six o' clock," she replied
"Oh alright. I was planning on stopping by the bookstore after school," Riley rolled his eyes. He was probably thinking 'how can he actually like to read?' or something like that.
"Sure that sounds fine. And while you're at it you can bring the cute Goth boy home with you," she said with joking sarcasm. Riley let out a snicker. I just buried my face in my paws. Now she's doing it!
After breakfast, mom drove Riley and me to school. The St. Josephs schoolhouse is a large brick building consisting of several small brick buildings around the campus. The school itself is actually pretty clean, and unlike many schools, it doesn't have mold or mildew dripping from the ceiling (which is good because I'm allergic to mold). The campus was filled with trees, donning their autumn colors, and all of the guys in their uniforms socializing around the front of the school.
"Have a good day at school boys," said mom as she dropped us off.
"Bye mom," we said simultaneously. We waved farewell to her as she drove off.
He and I walked up the walkway, through a crowd of socializing boys, and into the school. He and I parted ways and went to our first period classes. Riley and I actually don't have any classes together. Hallelujah.
My first period class is Algebra II, the Satan subject. I despise the subject and all of its affiliates. If it wasn't for that some of my friends are in this class, I would have seriously dropped it, even if it is a mandatory subject. The classroom was fairly empty; most of the students weren't in yet. Instead of individual desks, most of the classes at this school use long tables. I sat down at my seat, took out my Algebra notebook and checked the To-Do list on the board. My teacher posts this To-Do on the whiteboard. It's actually very handy since the things on it are usually assignments. There were four things in the To-Do list, introduction, continue chapter 4-3 notes, hand-out 4-2 and 4-3 worksheets, and start chapter assessment.
I raised my brow. Introduction? But we're not even done with Chapter 4 yet. I don't think it's a new chapter. Maybe we have a new student. I grinned at that thought. A new face around here would be refreshing. Maybe he and I can become buddies, or maybe even best friends.
About five minutes later, the first period bell rang. Our teacher and the other students have already arrived inside the classroom. Our teacher, Mr. Pirelli, is a middle-aged raccoon and he's more or less your typical bitter I'm-right-you're-wrong kind of teacher who has probably never seen a woman that wasn't his mom much less have dated one. But as far as teachers like him goes, he's not that bad. He doesn't give a lot of homework, he's not very strict about tardies and cell phones, and from what I've heard he's against the policy about No-Public-Display-Of-Affection. Since this is an all-boy school-I'm kind of hoping he's taught at a co-ed school. Mr. Pirelli's not really the kind of guy I'd peg as a Yaoi fan.
"Alright class," started Mr. Pirelli "Today we're going to pick up where we left off yesterday and continue learned about polynomials and the quadratic formula. But before we do that..."
Mr. Pirelli motioned someone to come in with his paw. A black wolf boy walked into the classroom. He was relatively tall, probably at least four-to-five inches taller than me. His hair, which was as black as his fur, was short and was spiked. There was something about this boy that seemed-familiar.
"Class, this is Dean Yost. He just transferred to this school. Be nice and don't give him a hard time y'hear!"
Dean blushed and gave the class a little greeting nod.
"Um...g-good morning," he said in a shy tone. Some of the students chuckled. Poor guy, this is probably the first time he's ever been the new guy.
"Now let's see..." started Mr. Pirelli, looking around the classroom "Ah, there's an empty seat next to Mr. McDaren. You can sit there for now,"
McDaren? That's my last name. Dean bashfully walked over to the chair next to me and sat down. I glanced at him. He simply sat there, quiet and still, looking straight ahead. I cocked my head to the side, he did seem very familiar. Dean finally looked at me; he gave me a weak, bashful smile, and looked at me with his deep red eyes that twinkled like rubies, and despite their beauty, they still gave off an ominous vibe. That's when it hit me. Dean was the boy I saw at the mall!
Looking into his eyes, and being bathed in the glow of his sweet, sweet smile, I began to feel an unusual warmth wash over me. It was a good kind of unusual. I never felt a feeling like this before, it felt great. It was as if all my worries were melting off my mind, and I felt like my soul was floating in mid-air, like a balloon drifting in a summer breeze. I couldn't help but to smile back at him. He blushed and went back to facing forward, with a bigger grin.
My heart began to beat fast. My breathing became labored. And my mouth went completely dry. Why was I feeling this way? To a boy?! I did my best to shove those thoughts from my skull. I don't care what my heart says, I'm not gay and I'm not attracted to him! I could never accept that!
After school, Riley and I met up at the front of the school.
"You still gunna' go to the bookstore weirdo?" asked Riley
"Well yeah, I'm gunna' see if the new "Fear Wake" novel's in yet,"
"You and your books,"
"Hey, "Fear Wake" is a great novel series! You'd like it if you'd just get off your lazy ass and read it,"
"Suuure,"
I growled at him.
"So I guess I'll see you at home Riley?"
"Yeah sure,"
"Don't almost burn down the apartment again alright?"
"ONCE! I ONLY DID THAT ONCE!!"
I snickered as he and I parted ways. He carpooled home with a friend, leaving me to walk all the way to the bookstore on foot. Fortunately though, the store's not that far away and the weather was really good.
The bookstore I like to go to is called Chimera's Rest. The store has a wide selection of books including novels, magazines and Manga. Students at St. Joseph's get a discount on books here too so this is more or less my favorite store.
"Hey Maurice," I called. The shopkeeper, Maurice, woke up from his slumber on the check out desk. "Has the new "Fear Wake" book come in yet?"
"The seventh one?"
"Yup,"
"Yeah, there should be a few still left on the shelf; we're almost out of stock of them,"
"Okay,"
I walked over to the section where "Fear Wake" resides. And like Maurice mentioned, there wasn't that many left, to be honest, there was only one left. I smirked, the last book and stock and it's all mine. I supposed I'd feel bad if someone waited even longer than me for them and they were all gone, but hey, you snooze you lose.
As I reached for the book, some else's paw collided with my own. Turned to see who it was, and Dean was there, looking little surprised.
"Oh, sorry!" he exclaimed. He retracted his paw. "You take it, you saw it first,"
"Oh...alright," I blushed and took the book off the shelf. I looked back up at him "So...you like "Fear Wake"?"
Dean nodded.
"I've only been reading the books for only about a couple months, but I'm hooked like a fish,"
"I know, I couldn't imagine how someone couldn't get hooked on the series. It has found a perfect balance of humor, terror and suspense, a balance that makes it irresistible,"
Dean chuckled, flashing that adorable, magically sweet smile at me.
"You sounded kind of like some novel critique just now,"
"Oh really, uh...thanks," I blushed at him.
"...Um, your name's Hayden, right?"
I nodded.
"Uh huh, Hayden McDaren, and if I'm not mistaken, your name's Dean Yost,"
"U-Uh yeah," He blushed.
"What's wrong, you shy?"
"Well, yeah sorta'," he bashfully scratched the back of his head "It's something I'm not too happy about,"
"But it is cute," Why did I say that?! "...S-So did you have a good first day of school?"
"Yeah, but it was kind of weird not seeing any girls around,"
"Don't worry about it Dean, you'll get used to it,"
He and I chuckled. The two of us just stood there and talked for what felt like hours. It felt like something was driving me to get to know as much about him as I could. His age, his interests, his likes and dislikes, his beliefs, everything. I was hanging on his every word. And when he asked something about me, I was quick and eager to respond. I just couldn't stop myself.
Never in my life had I ever felt so eager and happy talking to someone before, not even a really cute girl. The feelings I experienced when I'm around him, they were-indescribable. It seems that the longer I spend time with him, there harder it is for me to resist him. I knew I had to leave soon before I did or said something stupid.
"So uh, wonderful weather we've been having," Too late.
"Uhh...sure," he said, not knowing how to respond. I'm such a dumbass.
After I bought the book, I decided to head home. Dean and I exchanged cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses and went our separate ways. I couldn't help but feel a little sad leaving his side. I have a feeling he and I are going to be good friends. And as a walked up the sidewalk towards the apartments, I couldn't help but wish that Dean was a girl, or at least gay. Even though I didn't want to be gay myself, I wanted to go out with Dean. Even in the short time we've spent together, I've already felt a kind of bond connecting between us. A bond that was nonexistent with the girls I dated. I wanted him. I loved him. Just the mere thought of Dean and his sweet smile made my heart flutter. I almost felt like skipping home I was so happy.
As soon as I got home, I slung my shoes against the wall and rushed into the room.
"Yo Ri, I'm home!" I called out to my brother.
"Well about damn time!" he swore as he jumped off the couch. He stormed over to me. "How long does it take to buy a damn book?! Did you read first or something? I was about to call you to ask what was taking you so long! Just who or what were you doing?!"
I didn't say a word. All I did was grin and him as a chuckle erupted from my throat.
"...Okay why are you so smiley-giggly? It's not like you to be so smiley-giggly. Oh my God Hayden, you really DID get laid!"
"No! That's not it dumbass!" I spat as I bashed him on the head with my book. "I'm just in a good mood!"
"That book can't possibly be THAT good,"
"One: yes it can. And two: that's not the reason,"
"Then what is the reason?"
"Well...I..." I looked to the side and let out a sigh "...I think...I'm in love,"
There was a brief and sort of awkward silence.
"...Hayden I'm flattered but I'm your brother,"
"I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU, FUCKTARD!!"
"Hey! Sheesh Hayden! I was just kidding!"
"Uggh! Even when you know that that bothers me! You just don't hold back do you?!"
"Hey I'm sorry Hayd. I didn't mean to offend you or anything; I was just trying to-"
"Trying to what? Be funny? That's your problem Riley, you don't take a damn thing seriously! What I'm going through isn't funny! My dad isn't like your mom! He's not the Queer-Defender, he can't stand them! If he'd found out that I like Dean he'd-"
I covered my mouth with my paw as soon as I realized what I just said. Riley sort of stood there, shocked and in awe. I withdrew myself as a knot formed in my throat, forcing tears to roll down my face.
"...Dean?" started Riley "Who's Dean?"
"He's..." I gulped to try to get rid of the knot in my throat so I could speak clearly "He's this new guy at my school, that I...that I kind of like... The reason I took so long at the bookstore is because...b-because I met him there and...we started talking. And just so you know, Dean was the boy I was starting at the mall. And I guess...I kind of...fell in love with him I guess..."
Riley sighed and put his paw on my shoulder.
I looked up at him. Although he has a reassuring grin, he too had tears coming down his face. I looked into in eyes, and I saw the look of complete sympathy and understanding. He wrapped my body in his arms, and laid his head onto my chest and gave me a tender squeeze.
He chuckled. "I guess we're more alike than I thought Hayd..."
More alike than he thought? What could he mean? I thought. That's when I finally understood something.
"Hey Riley..."
"Yeah,"
"The reason your mom gets so pissed when my dad says something homophobic...it isn't because she was gay...it's because...you're gay...isn't it?"
He nodded.
"How come you've never told me?"
"I wasn't comfortable telling you...but...you know all about that now, don't you?"
He gave me a grin. I grinned back and embraced him.
"I'm sorry about keeping that a secret from you, bro,"
"It's alright..." I told him as I held him closer "I don't blame you,"
I felt happy tears trickle down from my face and land onto Riley's head.
"I love you bro," I said in a breaking voice
"Yeah, I love you too,"
We gave each other one last squeeze and then released each other. We just looked at each other, passing happy chuckles. Just having someone I can trust and talk to who knows exactly what I'm going through, it felt as though a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again. I don't think I've ever felt this relieved since the day I got saved.
"So Hayden...is this Dean guy cute?" he said is his usual obnoxious voice
"Are you kidding, he's gorgeous!"
...
It's been about two weeks since mine and Riley's heart-to-heart. Ever since then, I've identifying myself as bisexual, considering I still am attracted to girls and I've checked out enough guys to know that's not just Dean I like. Speaking of Dean, he and I have become really good friends, although I've been keeping my crush on him a secret. I'm not sure about his sexuality, and I'm not exactly comfortable asking him about that. I'd personally rather not ask him, play it safe and stay single than ask him then have him snap and yell at me.
"So Hayd," started Dean turning around in his chair to face me "Are you doing anything after school?"
"No, not really. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking about coming over to your house and spend the night,"
It felt like my heart jumped right out of my chest.
"Really?!"
"Well sure. I mean we're friends and all and from what you've told me up have an interesting family, so it sounds like fun,"
I just couldn't believe it. The boy that I love wants to come over to my house and sleep in the same bed as me! I was so close to saying yes when I remembered something: today's my dad's day off. He'll be home all day today, and the absolute last thing I want is for him to walk in on me and Dean if by some off chance something does happen between us. If that ever happened-I don't even want to fathom the possibilities. Then I got an idea...
"Um actually, I think I'd rather go to your house,"
"Really? You sure? Why?"
"Um...well...the apartment my family and I live in is really small. If you spend the night you'd either have to sleep in my bed, on the floor or on the pull-out couch 'cause my brother and I have to share a bed,"
"Can't I just sleep with you and your brother?"
"Sorry, but the bed's not that big," And I don't want to share you with Riley "And besides, I really want to go to your place!"
"You do?"
I nodded.
"Well in that case, be my guest! You can come over tonight and we'll have a blast!"
I took a deep breath; I can't believe I'm actually going to get to hang out with my crush at his house. I was nervous and excited all at the same time.
As soon as I got home, I wasted no time in packing a few videogames, the Fear Wake novel, and a change of clothes in my duffle bag. Visions of him and me together, the two of us playing videogames and watching TV, me and him sleeping in the same bed, and even us...kissing, they danced in my skull. Even if all we end up doing is talking, just spending time with him will throw my heart into an infinite sea of beatitude.
I was so caught up in my fantasies, I didn't hear the sound of the bedroom door opening.
"And just where are you off to?"
I froze. I slowly turned around to come face-to-face with my dad. He looked at me with his arms crossed and a slightly disappointed frown.
"I thought you and I were going to spend the day together, it's not every day I get the day off y' know,"
"I know..."
"So where are you going?"
"Oh um...I'm going to a friend's house,"
"Oh really..."
"Yeah,"
"Err...sorry to hold you up then," He looked away, depressed.
"Alright...um...see you later dad..."
I started to walk off, only to be stopped by my father's words once again.
"Y'know, ever since your mother died, we've seen to have grown apart..."
I looked back at him.
"...When Lois was alive...we used to go out and do tons of things together didn't we? But after she died, I had to work more and you and I couldn't spend time together anymore because I was so busy...and even after I married Ruth, I've still been caught up with work,"
I felt tears started forming in my eyes. I've forgotten how close dad and I used to be. I guess after mom, my birth mom, passed away, the glue that held dad and I together diminished too. I can't believe that all those good times just ended that like. I love Dean, and I know I already said that I'd come over, but-I feel bad about forgetting about my dad and the good old days.
"I'm...I'm sorry dad...I wasn't thinking when I-"
"Don't be sorry Hayd," he said, trying to sound happy "You have a life of your own and I can't expect to be in it all the time. You're growing up. It won't be long till you'll start driving, and you'll be moved out and be a dad yourself before we know it. Just go have fun with your friend, Hayden, enjoy your youth. Don't worry about me. I'll get another day off again, and maybe we can actually go somewhere fun instead of just sitting around talking and getting fat, or in my case, fatter,"
We chuckled.
"Um, thanks dad,"
I smiled at him one last time.
"I love you dad,"
"Love you too Hayden,"
I paused as soon as I left the room. He loves me? If knew that I was in love with a guy, he'd probably wouldn't say that. He'd probably yell at me or even disown me. I shook my head. I shouldn't think like that. I can't let my fears dampen my spirits and ruin what's left of the relationship between me and my dad.
...
I managed to talk dad into driving me to Dean's house. After a quick farewell, he drove back home, leaving me in front of Dean's residence. Dean lives in a trailer park about twenty-five minutes from the school. It's kind of odd for a guy who lives in a trailer park to be able to attend a private academy. From what he's told me, he and his parents had saved up a lot of money just to send him to St. Joseph's. I guess a private academy would look better on a college application than a public high school I guess.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the front door. I anxiously waited for someone to answer the door. I was worried that I might have the wrong trailer, this might be a city but there are some real rednecks around these parts. Fortunately though, about ten seconds after I knocked, Dean answered the door. I just sort of stood there and wandered 'is today my birthday?' Standing before me was a topless, wet Dean. He must have just got out of the shower or something.
"Hey Hayden," he said smiling at me
"Hey Dean," I said, adverting my gaze from Dean's body. Dean had a really nice figure; he had some nice definition in his arms, which was only complemented by his washboard abs and broad chest. He probably works out a lot. And I couldn't help but taking a quick look below the belt. The black skinny jeans he was wearing really showed off his toned legs and his package. And yet, the thing that caught my eye the most was his sweet smile and beautiful red eyes.
"So are you gunna' come in, or are you just going to stand out in the cold like a lawn gnome?"
"Oh right,"
Dean took me inside the trailer. The inside was warm and, to my surprise, very serene. The air smelt like pomegranates and gingerbread cookies; I guess it was some kind of scented candle or incense. The interior design had some sort of Chinese meditation garden theme to it, which gave off a bit of a Zen sense of tranquility, the furniture was probably Fung Shuied as well.
"You have a really nice home Dean,"
"Thanks,"
"So what's with this whole Yin-Yang Zen theme going on? Are your parents meditation junkies or something?"
"Actually this is my aunt's house. I'm just staying here during my enrollment at St. Josephs. My parents actually live a few towns away,"
"Really? It must be tough being so far away from your folks,"
"Not really. They've actually been on my case because of my whole Goth thing, so I'm kind of glad to get away from them for a while. My aunt doesn't really mind that I'm Goth, she knows that I'm not some "devil child" so to speak,"
"Oh...sorry for bringing that up,"
"Hey don't worry about it. It's not your fault," he reached his arm around my shoulder and gave me a little hug "You have nothing to apologize for Hayd, you didn't do anything to me,"
I smiled and said "Yeah, you right,"
Dean escorted me inside his bedroom. It looked like a typical bedroom for a Goth boy I guess. There were several heavy metal band posters hanging on his wall, there were black sheets on his bed and there was a pile of black clothes stacked in a corner. He walked over and sat on his bed, then patted on a spot on the bed next to him. I grinned and sat next to him.
"So Hayden," he started "What do you wanna' do?"
"I brought the Fear Wake novel if you wanna' read it together,"
"Neh, I'm not in a real reading mood today,"
"Well, what are you in the mood for?"
He paused to think for a bit.
"I guess I'm in a Guitar Hero of mood. Sound good to you?"
"Sure sounds good to me, but I warn you, I'm a Guitar Hero God!"
"Oh ho, what a coincidence, so am I!"
Dean got out the equipment for the game and set it up. He handed me a guitar and turned on the system. As the game loaded, he turned to me and asked "So Hayden, would you like to play Co-op, or Battle?"
"Let's go Battle!"
"Heh sounds good to me. Looks like it's going to be a clash of the Gods!"
"Yeah!" I exclaimed as I donned a sinister smirk "...But hey Dean, how's about we make this match a little more interesting,"
"Interesting how?"
"Well how's about the loser has to get punished,"
"What do you mean by punished?"
"You know, the loser has to do something embarrassing as a penalty for losing. My stepbrother and I do this all the time. Like if I win you'll have to wear a towel like a diaper, y' know, something like that,"
"Sounds interesting. So what will I have to do if I lose?" said Dean intrigued
"Let's see...how'z about...you have to drive down to the grocery store and buy us some ice cream while wearing a dress,"
"Sweet,"
"So what will I have to do if I lose?"
Dean paused to think.
"Let's see...how'z about...no...hmm...ah! I got it!" I leaned in to hear, eagerly waiting to hear my punishment "If I win, you'll have to kiss me on the lips!"
It felt like my heart just cut a back flip in my chest. Did I just hear what I think I just heard?
"Uh...what did you just say? I didn't catch that," I had to make sure that what I heard was right.
"I said that if you lose, you're gunna' have to kiss me. On the lips,"
I just sat there in awe. The boy I've been crushing on, for weeks, had just given me an opportunity to kiss him. I couldn't believe it. Could this a dream?
"But if that's too much to ask you could something e-"
"No, that's fine," I said cutting him off, trying my best not to sound too eager "Let's just start the game,"
"Well...alright then,"
Dean and I selected a song to play and started the game. And for the first half minute of the song I was giving it my all, but then I started thinking. How badly did I want to kiss Dean? And when would I ever get another chance like this again? Should I just let myself lose? But if I just bomb it, Dean would probably notice and suspect something. If I was going to lose, I had to do it carefully.
I decided to make simple mistakes. Play the wrong notes, make rhythm errors, anything I could to just get my score lower than Dean's but not completely fail. But then another thought crossed my mind. Is getting to kiss him worth losing my pride as a Guitar Hero God? I glanced at Dean and that sweet smile, those gorgeous blood-red eyes and that amazing body of his. Yes, yes it is.
After about four minutes of playtime, the match ended with me losing. Dean leaped off the bed and exclaimed "Yahooooo! Ah ha, how the mighty have fallen!!"
"Well congrats bud," I said, trying not to sound too excited.
He turned to me with a malicious look.
"Thanks, but you know what happens next, right?" He stretched, crawled on the bed and laid flat on his back. He beckoned me over with his finger and a smirk. I took a deep breath and crawled on the bed towards him.
Dean wagged his index finger and said "Ah-ah-ah, take that shirt off Hayd. If you're gunna' do this, you might as well do it right!"
I gulped, and slowly peeled my shirt of my body, trembling with both nervousness and excitement. I positioned myself over him and gazed into his red eyes, I could see the look of desire shining in his eyes. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he wanted this more than I did. This was getting kind of intense for me. My heart was beating like a rabid drum, my breathing was labored and my pants felt like they were getting tighter as well.
I took one last deep breath, closed my eyes and drew closer to him. My lips were pulled to his like a magnet to iron. As soon as our lips made contact, it was like Heaven. It felt as the powerful bond we had made a solid connection and became a complete circuit. I tightened the grip of my lips around his, and lowered my body down onto his warm, shirtless body, and enveloped him in my arms. The feeling of our bare torsos touching, it was great. It sent an incredible sensation that I could not begin to describe all over my body, it made me shiver it was so powerful. I felt my lips curl into a grin and a moan of pleasure bellowing in my throat. I released his lips, only so I can kiss his lips again. And again. And again. And again.
And then, I felt paws being placed onto my body. I opened my eyes and looked at Dean. His eyes were twinkling like the red rubies they were, and I saw, not lust or desire, but passion and love. I retracted my lips for a second to give him a smile. He smiled back and it felt like my heart just melted. He and I just laid there and smiled at each other for a while.
"Wow..." started Dean "Looks like somebody enjoyed himself,"
I blushed and uttered a sheepish chuckle.
"Well...yeah," I replied
"I have to say Hayd, I'm surprised. I had no idea you swung that way,"
"Well, I...I didn't discover that I liked guys until a couple weeks ago. So this is kind of new to me,"
Dean smiled and whispered "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. And if you want, I'll be your first boyfriend,"
My ears perked up.
"R-Really? You will? D-D-Do you really mean that?"
I looked down at him and he smiled with his red eyes twinkling at me. He nodded at me. I smiled the biggest smile I ever smiled and I started crying tears of joy.
It was then that I pounced onto him, and practically assaulted his muzzle with my lips, giving him kisses all over his face. He pulled me closer to him and he practically swallowed my muzzle with his mouth. Our muzzles were linked together like two perfect pieces of a puzzle. I stuck my tongue as far as I could in his mouth and stroked his tongue with my own. Dean and I chuckled; it tickled when our taste buds rubbed against each other. I could taste what he had for supper that night in his mouth. It was fried chicken.
He rolled us over on our sides and we pulled our bodies as close together as our bodies would allow. Dean passionately caressed my back with his right paw as his left one held my head in place as our tongues wrestled in our conjoined maws. I felt my left paw travel up and down his muscular back, and my right paw move straight down his back and grab his left butt-cheek. It made Dean cringe a bit. I chuckled. Dean pulled his tongue out off my mouth, leaving a string of our collective saliva bridging together our lips, and then gave my ass a nice big smack with his right paw.
"Ooh sorry, was that naughty?" I said trying and failing to sound sexy. I just gave a sheepish smirk and shrugged my shoulders. Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes at my stupidity.
After that, he and I just laid there, and looked into each others' eyes. The two of us, together in arms, it was paradise. I cuddled up to him and rested my head under his muzzle. He wrapped me up in his strong arms and whispered into my ear "I love you Hayden,"
I pulled my head out of his embrace and looked straight at him in the face and replied "I love you too, Dean...I have since we first met,"
Dean's eyes got teary and gave me a warm smile. There's that wonderfully sweet smile again. He and I touched noses, and share one last kiss on the lips.
This wasn't the first time I've kissed someone, and certainly not the first time I've made out with someone. I've had three girlfriends before Dean, and I've kissed all of them. But, this felt different for some reason. Maybe it was because I actually had a bond with Dean, where as those girls, it was like I was dating them for the sake of having a girlfriend; I liked them don't get me wrong, but I love Dean. Dean and I being intimate like that, it felt like it actually meant something. It felt right. It was defiantly worth giving up my Guitar Hero God title by far.
...
Just before hitting the hay, Dean and I started talking.
"So you've been gay since middle school?" I asked Dean
"Yeah..." he replied "It's been pretty tough but I've managed to get used to it,"
"Do your parents know?"
"No, thank God no!"
"What about your aunt?
"Well, I've hinted it a few times but I've never walked up to her and said 'Hey auntie Fran, guess what I'm a homo!' She probably wouldn't mind though,"
"That's good,"
"So what about you Hayd, do your parents know you're bi?"
"No, just my stepbrother. I've actually found out that he's gay himself recently,"
Dean chuckled.
"A gay child and a bi child, aren't your parents lucky?
The grin I had sort of faded. Dean noticed something was wrong.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No it's just that...if I ever told my parents...my stepmom would be the only ones that would accept us..." I hung my head over "My dad...he can't stand gay people. Gay guys. Lesbians. Bisexuals. He can't stand any of them. He...he hates them," I started to cry when Dean placed his paw on my shoulder.
"Tell me exactly what he does," he didn't sound sympathetic though, he sounded curious.
"Well...he always refers to them as 'those disgusting freaks' and that the last thing he wants is for me and Riley to be like them. And every time there's something involving gays on TV like on the news or a TV show, he just rolls his eyes and storms off... My stepmom gets onto him every time he does something like that, but I don't know if it's actually affected him any..." my heart felt like it was about to fall to pieces "...a-and my dad and I were once really close...and I...I-I-I don't want him to hate me, or Riley!"
I sprung to Dean and started crying into his chest.
"...Well I don't know that your dad hates them..." started Dean. I raised my head to him "It's apparent that he obviously dislikes them but...I don't think he hates them. I mean he's never said "I hope those sick faggots all die and burn in Hell!" right?"
"Well...no..."
"I think that maybe he's just really uncomfortable around them. Like if a human has never been around furries, then suddenly he finds himself around them and he doesn't know what to think. He's uncomfortable around them, or maybe even afraid or threatened by, and might even behave a bit racist...but that doesn't mean that he is racist. I think your dad might be like that guy and he is just uncomfortable or even threatened by them. Or he could even just be like every other straight man in the world and just be ignorant, and the only gays he probably knows are the ones you see on TV and just thinks that they're all 'effeminate fruity hand-flapping sex obsessed fanny-bandits' and doesn't want to be around them. Or, he could just don't want you and your stepbrother to be like that because he doesn't want people who don't even know you guys treating you like shit,"
"You...you really think so?"
He nodded.
"And Hayden, if he does turn around and hates you for it...then he isn't a very good father. After all, a parent's love is supposed to be unconditional right? And if he ends up kicking you and your brother out, you can both just move in with me and my aunt. She and I love company, especially if they're handsome men!"
I smiled. Dean's support did make me feel better. I laid my head on his chest and said "Thank you Dean."
"You're welcome Hayd," Dean held me and his arms "After all, you're not just my boyfriend, you're my best friend. I'm supposed to be there for you,"
I felt tears of joy run down my face. I closed my eyes and went to sleep in Dean's strong, loving arms. Just before drifting off, I felt Dean kiss me on my head and whispered "Good night buddy. Have pleasant dreams,"
_Have pleasant dreams._Little did Dean know, I'm already having pleasant dreams. I'm here. With him. That's my pleasant dream, a dream that is reality. I know Dean loves me, and he knows I love him, but he has no idea how much I really love him. Being together here with Dean is like a dream, and it's a dream I want to have every night for as long as I live.
~End