FSE

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Hi. Hey. Still first person. Okay this is where I gets a little personable, imagine we're down the pub, this is where I'm grasping my glass, and I'm like leaning in gossip style. Just imagine that with the limitations of: Word. Okay, here we go:

So I was trying to shop around for a new dress, see I told you this would be gossipy like, but I was shopping for one for an upcoming gig. Oh yeah, I used to be in a band, rather I know loads of bands who wanted me to preform and sing my prose for them! Buzzing!!! Me? Singing? Aaahh it's my transfemminine idealistic fantasy, and I was living it every weekend~

So we're in Baz' banger, cos of course I don't need to drive when I'm surrounded by people who do! It was Baz and Gaz and I was chilling in the back with Jade. They were my Human friends, the people who have held me up this entire time. While the lads were up front arguing what car park would be cheaper at this time of day, Jade grabs hold of my paws. She says:

-Feigh listen, I know this is a big day for you so I got you a little prezzi.

I'm so beside myself, this is sweet as! I close my eyes and hold out my paws as I feel a little something fall onto them. I open my eyes and it's a little necklace! The pendant was... An approximation of something that could be interpreted as Jade if you don't look at it or think about looking at it for too long. Still, the SENTIMENTAL value tho was through the roof!

-You know what? I'm gonna put this on when I'm up on stage and siphon all its energy, it'll be like you're preforming with me! I says.

-I mean god I hope not, when I sing in the shower I'm so bad the water recedes back into the head. She's says. But you're gonna smash this.

-Yeah and if you don't, we'll shout so loud it's gonna drown you out. Baz chips in.

-So it's like if they can't hear you blow it, they can take our word for it. Gaz elaborates.

Honestly? Not here for this doubtful energy, but I know both Gaz and Baz were inflicted with "Lads" and this is the closest they can get to showing sincerity. Ooooohhh I'm so blessed to be with my friends like this, This is gonna be one of them days. When you sit back a few years from now reminiscing during a camping trip, this'll be a day I come back to. A day I can immerse myself in and come back too again and again. And I mean that's... True. It ended up being true, for better or for worse. But ooohhh listen to me trying to skip the story like that!

I have to tell you about the dresses first! I tried on so many and I made them all look good! This is important for the story cos like, ambiance right? Is that what they call it? Uhhh for the lore? Yes, the lore, that I tried on this contrasting blue little thing. First of all it was my size, which let me tell you both as a trans woman and also: A huge Red Panda, that isn't common, so I already loved it for that. But the way it hugged my body, showed of the work my HRT was doing, what gifts it had given me. I felt somehow more exposed then if I was butt naked, like it was me, they could see ME! Oooohhhh what a delight, I had to get it! But stayed my hand just in case the next store had that but even more so. Gotta keep your dress options open right? It's important you remember this so, remember! My poor amazing dress!

So anyways we all planned our route, we'd all meet up to drive home, have a few tinnies at Baz's as he parks his car so we can get the bus back in, so we can get absolutely smashed of course. Like I'm so nervous I can't get up on stage sober, perish the thought! I was just having a last ciggy before going in and buying my dress, I say 'Buy' but I stepped on a scratch card on the way here and wouldn't you know it I won a hundred quid! So I'm basically getting the dress and a round of drinks for free, what good luck! So then after that I'd meet with the others in the car park. Since I know what I wanted to get they all went their separate ways to their own chores before tonight.

So I'm just in the alleyway, newly minted, smoking my last cig and something catches my eye. How could it not, a poor motorcyclist stacks it on the road just outside of where I was! I didn't get hurt of course, thankfully neither did the driver! But maybe it was another stroke of luck in disguise, I mean for me, not for him obvs, because the rear view mirror came sliding towards my hind paws and that's the only reason I was able to notice the Thing crawling down the rafters above me.

I back up against the adjacent wall in order to get a good look at this thing. It was a Monster that much was obviously, they resembled an insect covered in gold from their shell to even their legs, I couldn't tell you what tho. I wanna say beetle, but there are loads of little things that are wrong with that assertion. I supposed that's how you describe it, like someone who's seen bugs but doesn't know what they are, if they described them to you it'd be like this. Golden pincers protruding from their shell, four limbs jagged and sharp, ending in claw like talons. The hazel eyes placed at the side of their face, but with flaring nostrils located where they would be on an anthro>typical Monster. Even the very saliva dropping from the jaws nestled between the pincers, was of a golden sheen. It slowly descended, clutching the drain pipe, somehow not exerting the weight onto it, that this things size would imply.

-What is the purpose of luck? The insect asks Feigh. Do you think it a tangible thing? Not as something that can be seized or summoned via ritual or recital. But as something that can be administered? I believe it so Monstrum, think of it like a machine, something operated by the divine to conform the universe to it's will. These mechanics, the ability to bless something with untold fortune should the will of the world command it, to decide who in this world should succeed and who should fail. To safeguard against the uncaring chaos of the universe and the calamity of it's randomness, but also a sword against organised intentional malice. Aaahhh, but you would know of this wouldn't you Monstrum? Oh such a being blessed as you with untold ever flowing fortune and luck! I know not what has been governed for you, but to look at your life, your ambitions, the path your flame travels, I cannot help but weep. Such wasted opportunity. I think as Children of Man, we of the clay who carry the spark of the divine, who act as his shepard, have the insight to know when the machine has malfunctioned. Yes one such as you would not have been given this overwhelming gift under a more watchful eye. I would take this valour from you, that you have stolen and claim as your own and put it to a better cause Monstrum.

...Hey I'm just repeating what he said! It sounded like a load of bollocks to me too, even if now I understand the context of what he speaks. The Insect continued to advance on me, how he would obtain this abstract notion of "Luck" I kept from him, I didn't know. But like fuck was I gonna find out. I wanted to run out of the alleyway, but he could intercept me. I tried to scream for help, but everyone passing by paid me no mind. Dispite the crowd that had formed due to the motorcycle crash, they didn't stir none. It was hard to explain, but it was as if every Human present made a choice to not hear, not that they couldn't. I had no idea what was going on, but it was clear I was on my own. I just flipped the coin on lunging at the thing, my claws are pretty decent sharpness wise, maybe I could get between its shell and wound it enough to escape. Maybe out in the open, the Humans would have to acknowledge something was happening instead of playing plausible deniability.

Unfortunate, despite my lunge and the striking of my nails, I missed the parts in-between it's shell as my nails just bounced of it's golden exoskeleton. A thought occurred to me then, it was as if I tripped on the pavement which threw of my aim, a stroke of bad luck. Bad luck tho? Me? A horrific thought then overcame me, if this thing hordes luck, could it be luckier then me? Was it just a simple wager of fortune? Whatever the reason I made the bad bet, I was within the range of their jaws and it wasted no time seizing the opportunity. As the pincers pierced my throat and back, I could feel something leave me. Nothing physical mind, no sensation of blood leaving my body, but as if a weight was being relived from me. Something that had defined my life was being taken away from me by force, I already knew somehow, my luck, it took it. The shock of this sensation was enough to rob me of cognition, I feel to the floor and darkness came to greet me. I thought this was it, after everything in my life that was good and true, my luck had finally run out.

Fuck, all I wanted to do was sing on stage, to my friends and family. It was going to be... Such a good night. Fucks sake...