Flash Fic Collection 3_1
#16 of Scrap
The short story collection returns with another set of bizarre macro/micro My Little Pony madness!
Celestia uses her own milk to save a tiny Anon's life.
A mare discovers the joys of using an entire planet as a sex toy.
A pair of business men are contracted to build Celestia and Luna human-sized cities... so they can rampage in them.
A rampaging mare is stopped by the realization she has fat ankles.
Luna uses a tiny Anon to soak up her hoof sweat.
And more!
1: Sun Milk
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, micro Anon, Celestia, anthro, breast milk, dark
Version: 1
"There is nothing more I can do, your highness," the royal chef confessed with a shameful bow.
Celestia's face was a mask of neutrality. She gave nothing away by her expression or tone. "Thank you for your honesty and your hard work. You may return to your duties."
The chef bowed a bit lower then left the room. Only when the door clicked shut behind him did the Princess of the Sun deflate. She sighed and rubbed her temple. Her face tightened in frustration. She glanced down at the floor and thought hard about their problem.
Anon was slowly starving to death.
In the beginning, caring for the human had been so trivial. While he was tiny and easy to lose track of, he also did not require a great deal of effort to protect. The castle was kept free of common rodents and pests anyway so there were few vermin that could pose a risk to his life. Giving Anon his own little house hadn't even dented the budget either and it made him much more comfortable in their giant world.
Providing food for him was where things were now going wrong.
At first no one thought anything of it. Give Anon any common food in his tiny portions and simply call it a day. Even the man himself hadn't given it any thought. Then he started to lose weight. Not that any pony would have noticed, but he did. Initially Anon blew it off as just a result of his much more active lifestyle. The larger world of Equestria required a lot more running and climbing to navigate for him so of course he'd lose some weight.
The problem was that he never stopped losing it. The man was progressively wasting away. It took everyone far too long to figure out why.
Nutrient density.
Anon needed vitamins and minerals, but the food he was being provided was just too... thin, for lack of a better term. Of course, any nutritionist would have realized it. Most food is empty calories. The important parts are scattered across the meal. But Anon was so small he simply couldn't process enough food to get the vital stuff he needed. They needed food that was FAR more nutrient dense or Anon would starve to death even while shoveling as much food down his throat as his stomach could fit.
What could they give him?
Anon had suggested pills, but pony healthcare revolved around casting spells and observation. Normally if something was wrong a unicorn would just heal it. But that wasn't an option here. Medicine didn't really exist in Equestria. It would take them time to develop what Anon had suggested. Time they didn't have. Time they had lost ignoring the issue for months. The solar alicorn needed a solution and NOW. Or she might be forced to watch the little human simply waste away.
Celestia glanced down at her own breasts and cringed.
She had an idea.
The most nutrient dense natural food in existence. Available at any time with but a simple squeeze. Alicorn milk.
Celestia blushed at the thought, but what else could they do? The pills could be weeks away and Anon was growing weaker by the minute. It would be horribly embarrassing... for both of them... but if it saved his life...
Anon could barely move. His limbs felt heavy even now as he lay on his back, like he was sinking into the mattress. The last few days the doctors had had to feed him. However, even in his feeble state, he still managed to stare up at Celestia. She had just finished explaining her absurd plan to him.
"What?" he rasped.
Celestia was blushing. "I know it's... unconventional," she admitted. "But if we don't increase your nutrient intake now..." her voice petered out.
Anon swallowed fearfully. He didn't want to die. "They're working on the pills. I can hold out a little longer."
"How much longer?" she asked assertively. "They've told me it could be a few more weeks. They are a new invention. No pony has ever made something like this before. The closest would be the rations used by the military and those are more about packing food into as small a space as possible."
Anon cringed. "But you can't... do that," he mumbled. "To give me your... milk... you'd have to... right?"
She nodded. "I don't want to watch you wither anymore. Please Anon," she pleaded with watery eyes. And red cheeks.
After a minute or two Anon gave in. Celestia sighed with relief. Then got ready to give the human his first dose of alicorn milk.
The white mare made sure they were alone before she leaned down over his bed and unbuttoned her top. Anon stared at the enormous mammaries that poured out. Celestia was big, but Anon was a gentleman and had always kept his eyes away from her enormous bust. Now that they were hanging over him like a pair of moons, that was a little harder to do. Anon was about to lose the right to call himself a gentleman even if it was in the name of saving his life. Celestia next used a finger to tug her bra down and off her right nipple. Amongst the pristine fur there was a pink clearing with a single prominent hill at the center. Anon couldn't help feeling turned on.
Celestia leaned down. Further and further. Her perky nipple descended like a meteor casting Anon in her ever darkening shadow. Then the teat was hovering over his head. Two enormous fingers lightly pinched it. "Open up now Anon," the towering mare ordered gently. The man awkwardly tilted his head back and opened his mouth. Celestia began to work her nipple above and soon the man was being showered in warm nutritious alicorn milk.
Anon's life was saved and everyone lived happily ever after.
Author's Note:
Inspired by the comic "Lucky's Luck" by Antonioy111 on furaffinity.net
2: Planet Plug
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, oc, micro planet, buttplug
Version: 1
"What kind of shop is this?" Green asked curiously as she eyed a jar with a mummified snail in it. Who would want that?
"Hello," came an elderly voice from the other side of the shop. "What can I help you with today?" the wrinkly stallion began.
"I'm not sure I'm in the right place," Green admitted bashfully. "What kind of shop is this?"
"Why, it is a mystic curiosity shop my dear," the elder smiled kindly.
Green tilted her head. "So... you sell magic stuff?"
"No no no my dear," he chuckled while shaking his head. "I do not deal in the mundane of simple magic. I buy and sell the mystical and mythical. Things beyond the understanding of mere mages and wizards."
Green glanced at the many shelves filled with utterly random odds and ends. The owner clearly didn't know a thing about organization. There were bobble-heads next to snow globes. There were pencils next to hair brushes. There were tic-tacs next to flower pots. And so on. The place was a mess. It didn't seem like a secret depository for items beyond mortal understanding. She thought it looked more like a pawn shop, which was sort of why she had stepped inside.
"Well," Green mumbled. "That isn't exactly what I was looking for."
"Oh come now. I guarantee I have what you want and more," he said with a cheesy overconfident grin.
Green didn't like him. While normally she would be embarrassed to admit what it was she was looking for today, she really just wanted to knock that stupid look off his face. She met his eye. She smirked, ready to laugh at his discomfort and the vomit of words he would inevitably begin spilling. Then she said it. "I want an exotic butt plug."
He hummed in thought and rubbed his chin. "I'm sure I don't have anything meant for that explicit purpose, but I think I can throw something together if you'll give me a moment."
His completely serious response caused Green's joke to rebound right in her face and shock her into confused stuttering. "W-what?"
"One moment," he said dismissively before heading behind the counter and disappearing beyond a curtain of beads.
For a minute or two Green stood there alone in the dusty shop with her mouth opening and closing wordlessly like a stranded fish. What had just happened?
There was a flash of light in the backroom before the elderly stallion returned and put something down on the counter with pride. "Take a look. What do you think of this?"
Green shuffled forward. What she saw was unlike her wildest expectations. "Is that... a planet?"
The sphere was a bit smaller than a golf ball and decorated with various patches of green and blue. There was even a few little brown spots and wispy clouds drifted across the surface. There also seemed to be a larger outer sphere, like a glass shield, but it was so clear it was nearly invisible. In total it might have actually been a little larger than a golf ball. Seemingly connected, yet also not, to the planet was a plastic stick with a wide flat base. It was a handle.
"What do you think? Not bad for something I whipped up in the moment," he grinned.
Green stared at the thing. "It's... is that a real planet? Is it... inhabited?"
"Maybe," he replied slyly.
Green swallowed. The thought of shoving an entire world into her ass... it was the hottest idea she had ever entertained. Sure, the plug was shaped a little weird. And there was a strong chance the thing was just an elaborate illusion. No, it was definitely some illusion. But so what? Fantasy was half the fun. She could already feel her anus squeezing hungrily, eager to chew on this new toy.
"How much?"
A minute later Green was prancing out of the store, her plaything discretely hidden in a paper bag. However, before using it for the first time, she spent quite a while staring at it. Trying to spot any sign of civilization or life. The green suggested grass or forests and some of the clouds were darkening as though there was an active weather system in there...
Whatever. Real or not, it was her toy now. Licking her lips, the mare planned to enjoy it either way.
3: Sheath Stuffed
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, Big Mac, micro Anon, gay, sheath, entrapment
Version: 1
"Is this about the hat joke?" Anon asked fearfully as he dangled in front of an angry red stallion's face.
"E'yup," Big Macintosh growled.
"I was just pointing out that--" the man's explanation was cut off by a jerk of motion that left him dizzy.
"Nope," Big Mac snorted as he continued to hold the man by the back of his shirt.
"What do you want me to say?" Anon gasped.
"Nopony makes fun o' ma sis," the stallion declared.
"I'm sorry," Anon yelped.
"Nope."
The huge hoof that controlled Anon suddenly dropped underneath the pony's belly. The motion was aggressive and disorienting. Anon thought he might vomit as the scenery flashed by him. When his ride slowed it took the human a few moments to regain his senses and to try understanding where the giant stallion had brought him. Though his mind froze shortly after it began searching for identifiable landmarks. He was still moving, gradually approaching Big Mac's balls.
Anon had always known the pony was big, it was in his name, but everyone in Equestria was big compared to the human. When you're half the height of an apple it gets kind of tough to really measure. Like, if one equine is 10 stories tall and the next is 12, what meaningful difference is there? Big was big. It didn't matter which pony it was, when one of them took a step Anon felt an earthquake.
Now Anon felt like he could appreciate those "little" differences a bit better.
Just one of Big Mac's orbs was the size of a house. Smooth dark crimson flesh taut from the weight of his own heft. The stallion was well hung. Anon forgot to even struggle as he was dangled before the pony's heavy package. He should have been fighting even if it caused him to plummet so far to the ground below. The hoof that held him suddenly surged forward and the man screamed. Then the hoof paused for only a fraction of a second, long enough for Anon's legs to lurch out in front of him towards Mac's sac. Then the hoof pushed forward again.
It took Anon a moment to understand what was happening as he felt a fleshy grip slurp over his outstretched legs. In the next instant he was held aloft from either end. His legs were being held by something warm and meaty while Big Mac's hoof still clung to the back of his shirt. (Anon would never understand how hooves could just hold things) The man glanced at his feet and was horrified to discover they were being squished between the stallion's cock and the inside of his sheath. The skin was loose and flexible, the muscles beneath slightly expanding and contracting as though they were feeling him. Experimenting with Anon's legs.
It was then a huge pressure bore down on Anon's shoulders as the pony went from holding his shirt to shoving him in.
"Wait! Big Mac what are you doing?! Please don't do this!" Anon pleaded.
The massive stallion said nothing.
The man tried to fight, but it was hopeless. His hands beat against the wall of hoof, but it was an immovable object. He tried to kick, but his legs were already trapped up to his knees. The heat intensified and the stench of male musk exploded. The enormous black cock stirred because of his struggles, surging forward while not entirely escaping from its sheath. Anon whimpered as his legs were crushed. Thankfully the shaft retreated as quickly as it had advanced, but it dragged the human even deeper. Not that the hoof pushing on Anon's head needed the help.
The battle lasted less than a minute and in the end Anon's chin rested on the rim of Big Mac's sheath. His head was the only part of him that was free. He was completely pinned. Immobile. The man was already sweating and struggling to breathe thanks to the pressure on his lungs and the pungent air. He begged for mercy as soon as the hoof abandoned him.
"Nope. You gonna stay there 'till you learn ta respect my sis," Big Mac explained simply. The towering pony then began to trot.
Anon wasn't sure what the worst part was. That he could only look at the ground many stories below? That Big Mac's enormous balls were always there, teasing him, making him feel so inferior as a man? The crushing pressure that rendered him unable to move? The heat? The stink?
All of the above became ever worse as the horse went to work for the day. Soon the heat, musk, and sweat would be too much and Anon would pass out. Freed from his torture for a short while...
4: Twilight's Bath
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, micro Anon, bath, stupid
Version: 1
Twilight sighed as steam wafted up from the warm water she was soaking in. She lounged on her back as islands of soap bubbles drifted on invisible currents. The smell of exotic flowers tugged the alicorn's mind ever closer to a restful slumber. Twilight did always enjoy her baths. They eased her mind and her muscles after a long day of... whatever she had to deal with. The bath was a place that allowed her to escape. To find peace. To be a simple mare without a care...
"Hm?" Twilight mumbled as something lightly brushed her belly.
The alicorn raised her head and glanced half-conscious down her body. All four of her limbs were submerged and the water level only just reached her sternum. There, floating above her hidden breasts, was a rubber duck. The yellow toy was rocking back and forth and slowly ambling away from her tummy where it must have collided with her.
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Where did you come from?" she whispered to herself.
Spike was too old for bath toys now and she certainly hadn't added it. So the already drowsy mare was left baffled for a moment. Why was there a rubber duck in her bath? Then the artificial bird started to spin and revealed something else that shouldn't have been in her bath.
"Anon?" the alicorn stuttered. Then realization hit. Her human friend, a male, was in her bath. Twilight's eyes widened. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" the equine roared.
The human was about six centimeters (two inches) tall and straddling the rubber duck like it was a noble steed. He was also dressed in a pair of loose swim trunks and staring back at the enraged mare with innocent confusion.
"Well who else would I take a bath with?" he countered seriously. His simple response made Twilight freeze. Her eyes went even wider and her cheeks burned. The implications...
"W-w-what do you mean by that?"
"See, Rarity had a really hard day so she wasn't in the mood to watch over me while I took a bath. Pinkie is too busy entertaining the twins in the afternoon for me, I don't like Rainbow Dash, Applejack is a mud monster and I don't want to be scrubbed down by her hard hooves, and Fluttershy's rabbit scares me. That left only you. So here I am." He finished by patting his rubber duck steed.
Twilight blinked. Then blinked again. Then blinked once more for good measure. "W-wait. Rarity doesn't just take care of you, she... bathes you?"
"To make sure I don't drown," Anon replied with a shrug. "I was an okay swimmer back home, but water doesn't... work right at my new size. So Rarity got pretty protective."
Twilight looked up in thought, her inner scientist having been awoken. Water acted differently for him? What did he mean by that? Then she remembered she was supposed to be mad and embarrassed that a male had snuck into her bath. She shook her head and aimed a death glare at the human and his rubber duck. Then she realized he had drifted to just above her... private area. She blushed and squeezed her legs together below the surface. The duck began to bob as the water was disturbed. Anon clutched his ride with a smile, enjoying the sudden game.
"Anon, this is highly inappropriate," Twilight gushed.
As the waves died down the man adopted a guilty look. "I guess you're right. Maybe I should have asked first."
Twilight snorted. "Yes. You should have. But that's not what I meant. We can't bathe together," she explained with an angry scoff.
"Why? Rarity likes it," Anon countered casually.
Twilight stared. "Do... humans bathe together?"
"In some cultures," Anon shrugged. There was a short silence. "Are you okay Twilight?"
"There is a stallion in my bath with me," she said flatly.
"Ponies don't take baths together normally?" Anon asked, his blood running a little bit colder.
Twilight squirmed. "Anon... you are as dense as a post."
Author's Note:
I debated what direction to take this, but ultimately went just lewd rather than full erotica. Going further with it would have required more work and words and this was just meant to be a tease.
5: Everything is Bigger in Texas
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, macro, growth, casual
Version: 1
"Thanks for comin' with me, Anon," Applejack said warmly.
"Hey it's no problem. And how could I resist a chance to see a country named 'Texas' here in Equuis?" the man chuckled.
"I 'member you sayin' somethin' 'bout there bein' a 'Texas' back home, right?" she asked conversationally.
"Yup," he chirped. "Though it was just a state. Like, it belonged to a larger country called America."
AJ hummed at that. "Well not our Texas. Here, it's a free nation to i'self. If Twilight were here, she'd give you the full history lesson on it, I'm sure."
The pair snickered as they continued their long walk across the open plains. Anon wiped some sweat from his head, glancing up at the sun above them, then back towards the train station a few kilometers behind them. The man could feel questions bubbling in his brain thanks to the mention of Twilight. As they walked he considered the earth pony beside him. Her head reached to just about mid-chest height, but the mare was strong. For her this walk was nothing. But why were they walking at all? Why was the train station so far from the nearest town? Why hadn't any of the others wanted to come with AJ to visit her folks? Anon was pretty sure that, other than Rarity, no one else was too busy for a weekend trip. But how to ask questions like that? It could come across as rude, but he was curious. Did they know about the long walk part and just not want to do it?
"So," Anon began casually. "When's the last time you visited the parents?"
AJ hummed. "Two... nah, three years ago. Been meanin' to, an' they're gonna make sure ta rub that in, but runnin' the farm has been so crazy these last few years."
Anon nodded. "I thought the Apple Family had big reunions every year?"
"They do," AJ asserted. "But not every Apple can come each time."
"So what you're saying is your parents didn't come to see you either. Sounds like a pretty good defense," he remarked slyly.
AJ snorted. "Yeah, but they prob'ly have a better excuse than I do," she sighed.
Anon deflated a little at that. So much for cheering AJ up before popping the questions he felt uncomfortable asking. He wiped some sweat from his forehead as they kept walking.
"So... why do you think... Rainbow didn't want to come?" Anon wanted to kick himself for that one. Smooth as sandpaper.
AJ winced. "Unicorns and pegasi hate comin' ta Texas. Makes 'em feel small and weak. It's the home of earth ponies you know."
Anon was relieved AJ hadn't been offended by his poorly worded question. "I figured a lot of earth ponies lived there. The 'Texas' from my world was known for strong horses and open plains."
AJ's ears perked up and she eyed Anon. "That's what our Texas is known for too." Then she faced forward with a grin and stopped. "Ah, we're here. This is the official border!" she declared.
Anon blinked. There was no sign and the town was still pretty far on the horizon, barely a haze. The only landmark he could identify was the strangest thing he'd ever seen.
The road got wider. And by a LOT.
The path they had been following was dirt. Well worn and smooth without any of those annoying pebbles, but it was still dirt. That quality didn't change, but the width of the road exploded. From just enough space for four ponies to walk side-by-side to wide enough to fit a walking castle.
Anon scratched his head. "This is the border?"
"Now you wait here a moment," AJ instructed with excitement. Then she trotted over the border. "I really should come home more often. I always did love this part," she giggled to herself.
For a few seconds nothing happened. Then the mare started to grow. Every time her hoof landed in the soft dirt her body would expand upward another meter. There was no glowing, no sparkles, no wavy air as though she were passing through a heat haze. The little mare simply grew bigger and bigger. Anon stared and his stance widened as the ground began to shake underneath him. Soon he was cast in the shadow of an artificial eclipse, his sky now filled with AJ's tail and backside.
When the earth mare stopped growing she also stopped walking. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she stretched her back like a cat after a good nap. "Nothin' like comin' home to Texas," she sighed.
The pony spun around to face the now tiny human who had accompanied her. He was frozen with shock. The mare blushed and looked away. Right. He almost certainly didn't know this was coming. She laid down in front of him and smiled gently.
"You alright there sugarcube? It's still me."
Anon's mouth flapped wordlessly for a few seconds. "W-what just happened?!"
"It's Texas," AJ said simply.
Anon shook his head. "What are you talking about? You just became a giant!"
"ALL earth ponies become giant when they cross the border. It's why Equestria never could annex Texas. Can't make an earth pony do not'in' while we've got our home field advantage."
Author's Note:
Not sure where this idea came from, but I wrote it pretty fast. Had to really bend some canon around for this one. Also, I tried really hard to give AJ a southern accent and can't help feeling like I over did it. I need to watch the show again. How thick was AJ's accent really?
6: City Commission
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, humans, implied rampage
Version: 1
Anon tugged on his collar nervously as sweat dripped down his forehead. His partner, Mouse, was sitting next to him and also appeared uncomfortable. The room was dark so that the screen which took up an entire wall could be seen clearly. Currently displayed on the screen was another meeting room that appeared almost identical to the one Anon and Mouse were in. Except it was occupied by a single dark blue alicorn. Princess Luna was wearing a pair of glasses on the end of her muzzle as she carefully examined a city map.
"Are you certain this is a realistic layout for a densely populated human settlement?" the dark mare asked, looking up at the screen pointedly.
Anon cleared his throat. "Of course, your majesty. We did our best to meet your request. It is inspired by, but not a copy of, a number of real cities."
The mare hummed as her gaze fell upon the map again. "The sports stadium is a nice touch, but I do not see a major road leading by the parking lot that could support the kind of traffic volume expected for such a busy location."
Mouse chose to answer this concern. "Your highness, as you can see from our design, the parking lot is made of multiple sections and is meant to be approached and entered from every direction at once. Therefor a single flow of traffic would be unlikely. Not a real construction technique that has been tried, but that is a... valid theoretical layout."
Princess Luna rubbed her chin and hummed again. "Interesting. What about these apartment blocks? I understand a large number of humans can live in each structure, but is there really enough housing here for 100,000 humans?"
Anon spoke up. "As you can see the apartments are distributed around the perimeter of the city. This is true to the majority of human development. The inner city tends to be mostly businesses and wealthier accommodations, with higher density living on the edges."
"You didn't answer my question," the Princess huffed. "Is there enough housing in this design for 100,000 humans? Would this qualify as a major city?"
Anon swallowed. "Maybe," he admitted. "You requested we not waste space or time on designing a suburban sprawl, but the suburbs make up a significant portion of the modern human--"
"How many humans could be housed in this city?" the Princess cut him off with a dark tone.
Anon hesitated so Mouse answered. "Just under 85,000. However, there are enough theoretical jobs in that space to employ over 120,000."
The alicorn clicked her tongue. She tapped the desk. She narrowed her eyes. Slowly she began to nod. "Very well," she eventually conceded. Luna then glanced down at the map. "How long would it take you to build?"
Anon sighed with relief before speaking up. "If you provide us the materials and space, as promised, we can begin construction in about six months. The finished product should require a little less than two years after that. Based on our estimations."
The alicorn suddenly glared at them. "That's a lot of time for one city."
Anon went stiff. "Please understand, your majesty. For us humans this is a very large and complex project. This is a city. It will take time just to get the equipment in, not to mention the number of employees we'll have to hire. Once we have the method refined I promise each new city will be built faster than the last. And even bigger too."
Princess Luna sat back thoughtfully. "So what you are proposing is that if we sign an exclusive contract with your company to build these cities for us you will become ever more specialized with each project. That you will be able to build them faster and bigger every time?"
"Exactly," Anon grinned confidently.
The mare tapped the table a few times. "We were hoping to avoid creating monopolies, but... we also don't want to wait. My sister and I want our toys ready to play with more often than once every two years."
Anon swallowed. "We should be able to build you structurally accurate cities, right down to the plumbing and sewer systems, in less than a year once we are established. A city this size should take only a little more than eight months once we refine our techniques and find regular employees."
The Princess sighed. "Your explanation makes sense. Very well, I will sign off on this project," she declared dismissively. "However, before we agree to a longer-term exclusive deal, my sister and I will have to discuss it."
Anon struggled to contain his excitement. "Of course, your highness. We appreciate your business."
"Yes yes yes," the mare waved a hoof. "A file with the location details will be sent to you shortly. Please update me as soon as possible with a proposed timetable. My sister and I want to be there to see when construction begins. And ends," she added with an ominous smile. "Good day, sir Anon and Mouse."
The screen went dark and Anon immediately rose from his seat and made for the exit. Mouse was startled by the abrupt and rapid exit and had to hurry after him.
"Sir!" Mouse called. "May I ask you a question?"
Anon stopped and turned to face his assistant. "I believe you just did," he said with a bit of happy sass.
"Sir, why would you try so hard to get that contract? You really want to build cities just so those... monsters can... destroy them?"
Anon stared at Mouse. "I don't care what they do with them or why they want them. The fact is a lot of new jobs were just born and a huge inflow of cash is about to hit this stalling economy because of it. The pony princesses are willing to provide the materials and they are going to pay us little humans to build them entire cities just so they can dance on-top of them? They are willing to pour billions into the human economy just to make them toys? So they can pretend to be living disasters? I don't care. I'm a businessman and the only thing that matters is our stockholders."
Anon then leaned in. "And if we get that exclusive contract, we are going to become the largest construction corporation that ever existed. That means you and me will be the richest men in the world. Congratulations." Anon patted Mouse on the arm and began walking away.
Mouse winced. "Richest men in the world at the cost of feeding a pair of giants with rampage addiction..."
Author's Note:
Partially inspired by orpbus's pink dragon Eve, saatchi's blue alligator Nisha, and T-Bone's green dragon Anita. These three characters have an ongoing theme of being macros who own a corporation, so they regularly appear in business suits looming over employees or a city. Great gag and all, but what I always wondered is what the product/service of their companies were. Like, what kind of business would a macro run? I couldn't really think of anything logical myself, so I tried turning the question the other way around. What product/service would a macro happily pay for? The answer came to me immediately.
A city to rampage in of course!
7: Giant Cheerleader
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, macro, upskirt, stupid
Version: 1
"What is a cheerleader?" Blue asked sagely, his back to his audience.
"A simple question really, but one few ever truly consider," Blue continued as he turned around to face his potential customers. "I'm sure most hoof-ball fans just think of cheerleaders as entertainment. They dance around, say a little chant, and keep your eyes busy between the action. Why do you think they are dressed the way they are? Because it makes them eye-candy. But that's not all they do," Blue explained ominously. "Their true purpose is right in the name: 'cheerleader'. They keep the fans pumped up. They inspire the stands to follow their lead and cheer on their team."
The collection of ponies in front of Blue were dressed in well-pressed suits. And they looked like they might be getting bored of his monologue sales pitch. So Blue cleared his throat and skipped ahead a bit.
"So, gentlecolts, do I have a proposal for you. I think you're going to love my friend PINK!!" he suddenly yelled, turning his head toward the far side of the field.
The collection of ponies lazily followed his direction and watched. Watched as a mare at least five stories tall and wearing a cheerleader's uniform stepped around one of the bleachers and began prancing onto the field in their general direction. Jaws dropped, eyes twitched, and weird vocal sounds of confusion were uttered. This towering pony could fit a normal sized pony in each of her hooves! Where had she come from? What was going on? Where had they found a skirt and top that big? And those socks and shoes? She even had her mane tied back. The only thing missing from her outfit was a pair of equally large pompoms. Meanwhile, the huge mare came to stand in front of her audience with an excited grin.
"Gentlecolts," Blue said smugly, "allow me to introduce you to my friend Pink."
Pink waved down at the group. "Hello," she greeted them happily.
"Pink," Blue began, looking over his shoulder, "why not give them a quick demonstration. Really sell it, you know?"
"Got it," she replied with a confident nod.
Pink took a few steps back before standing tall and closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and sighed. The investor ponies glanced at each other nervously.
Then she raised her left hooves before dropping them back down on the grass with an audible boom that made the ground tremble. Then her right hooves did the same. Back and forth she stomped, rocking her entire body with the beat.
"The Giants are ready," Pink began to sing. "The Giants are ready," she repeat before rearing up onto her hind hooves.
"The Giants are smooth," she continued as she spread her forehooves across the sky as though drawing a rainbow.
"The Giants will take control," Pink declared as she spun around and made her skirt flutter. Then the huge mare dropped to her four hooves again, facing her backside to the crowd. She glanced over her shoulder and raised a brow suggestively. Then Pink gave her hips a wiggle.
"And the Giants will stomp all over you!" she finished while stomping one of her rear hooves.
Silence.
Blue cleared his throat and jumped in front of the crowd. "As you can see, Pink cannot help but draw attention. Imagine the energy she'll bring to the next game!"
There was some chatter at that. Though most of the ponies were still focused on Pink's dark panties clearly visible under her skirt.
Author's Note:
The hardest part of this short was giving Pink a good cheer. I never really paid attention to what cheerleaders were actually saying before, you know? It always got drowned out by the screaming crowd. So I did a quick search, curious if I could simply find the lyrics of cheers online, and discovered an entire website dedicated to them. Then I realized how awful and cheesy they all were. Seriously, why are they all so... stupid? I quickly started to think it would be faster to write my own, even taking how much I suck at poetry into account.
Then I noticed one that had the phrase "stomp all over you" and I knew I had a winner.
8: Fat Ankles
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, macro, rampage, joke, stupid
Version: 1
Yellow stomped down the street. Her huge hooves left craters in the asphalt and flattened cars into pancakes. A casual swipe gouged the side out of a building. Her haughty laugh was barely matched by the endless cacophony of screams from her fleeing prey. The giant mare was on a rampage and nothing could stop her. Police bullets bounced right off. Distractions only served to make themselves targets and not for long. Roadblocks only gave her more toys. Yellow turned a corner while wearing a vicious grin. Every neighborhood had offered her something new to enjoy. Like little presents on the holidays. What adventure awaited her on this street?
Skyscrapers on either side. One pony stood alone defiantly in the middle of the road. The stallion was dark blue and he eyed the mare top to bottom critically.
Oh goody, Yellow thought with amusement. Another fool trying to play hero.
The towering mare stomped down the street while wearing her smug smile. Each step made the ground shake and the stallion couldn't help but stumble. Only when he was thoroughly engulfed in her shadow did the mare stop. Yellow then took a moment to loom over him. She preened at his attention. The best part about being a giant? Getting to lord it over the helpless tinies.
"I'm not impressed," Blue declared.
Yellow snorted and rolled her eyes. "Really?" she challenged. Then the mare lifted a hoof and casually drove it into the building next to her. Glass and concrete rained down. Everything crumbled like a flimsy gram cracker to a monster like her.
Blue took a step back to avoid some of the ruble that rolled across the road. "Yup," he continued casually. "You're too big."
Yellow blinked in confusion. "What?" she asked as she retrieved her hoof from the skyscraper.
"You're too big," he reaffirmed. "I prefer a smaller mare. You've got too much meat on your bones."
The towering giantess blanched. "W-what are you talking about?"
"Just look at your ankles," Blue said while gesturing aggressively. "No stallion is going to find you attractive with hooves that large."
Yellow sputtered. "I'm not looking for a date you idiot!"
"I wouldn't be looking for a date if I was you either," he countered decisively. "I'd be too embarrassed to be seen with ankles that fat."
Yellow quickly yanked one of her hooves up to her eyes and began examining it. "I'm... I'm not fat..." she said weakly.
"Maybe you can lie to yourself, but you can't hide the truth!" Blue stated confidently.
Author's Note:
This is a joke I've had in my idea collection for literally years. Glad I finally used it. It is so stupid...
9: Macro Mare Saves Nature
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, macro, satire
Version: 1
Yellow was sitting at the table, happily taking sips from her warm tea. She sighed. It was a wonderful Saturday morning. No worries.
Blue was about to enter the room, but paused in the doorway at the sight of Yellow. He scratched his head before approaching the table and taking a seat across from the peaceful mare.
"How are you this morning, Yellow?" he asked tiredly.
"I'm great!" she announced cheerfully. There was an awkward silence.
"So... what's new with you?" Blue asked hesitantly.
Yellow sat up with pride. "Not much. Just saving the human world."
Blue's eyes widened. He gulped. "Yellow? Did you do it?"
She blinked at him. "Do what?"
"The thing that's all over the news. The big attack. The dam," he whispered.
"Oh that," she giggled. "Yup, that was me. It's pretty great huh?"
Blue was suddenly very awake. Awake and stunned. "What... what are you talking about? Why would you do that?!"
"Why? Because someone had to. Do you have any idea how bad it is over there in the human world?"
"I don't see how destroying a dam would make anything better," Blue gushed in confusion.
"I did my part to save the environment," Yellow explained as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Blue stared. "What?"
"See, I recently got on the human internet and started learning about this Environmental Movement that's been really struggling to save the world. On their planet, evil doesn't act all at once. Instead it takes its time, building up great schemes over generations. Some of those plans are nearing completion now. The world itself is on the brink of destruction and the resistance can't muster enough strength to stop it. They needed a hero. So I decided to join their noble cause!"
"You're talking like a crazy person. And... how do you save the world by knocking down a dam?"
"That dam destroyed the downriver ecosystem and created a huge artificial lake," Yellow growled, clearly frustrated with the lack of praise for her deeds. "By knocking it down I restored the environment to its natural state. I'm even planning on going back next week to smash some power plants. If I don't stop carbon-dioxide from building up in the atmosphere... a lot of bad things will happen."
"Worse things than you destroying key infrastructure?" Blue mumbled.
"Infrastructure?" Yellow echoed with a vacant expression. "Like roads?" she asked before shaking her head. "No I wasn't thinking of cutting off major highways, but that might be a good way to stop humans from driving all those polluting cars."
Blue didn't respond for a while. "Yellow, let me get this straight. You think you did something good?"
"Duh," the mare pouted.
"Do... you know what you actually did?" he hissed.
She rolled her eyes. "I just told you. I restored a part of nature."
"You killed thousands and ruined the lives of about a million others."
Yellow blinked in confusion. "Nuh-uh. I helped them. Their planet is being murdered by an evil cabal--"
"When you broke the dam you released a hundred-foot wall of water. You washed away three towns, killed thousands."
Yellow's mouth snapped shut. "Oh."
"And that artificial lake was a major water reservoir. Now hundreds of thousands of people don't have any clean drinking water."
"Well..." Yellow droned off before she could say anything.
"And there was a nuclear power plant that relied on that lake for water to cool the reactors. Now they've had to shut the entire plant down and several major cities are now without power. A million people are in the dark because of you."
Yellow winced. "Well... the world is in danger."
"The world is a complicated thing. Everything is interconnected, Yellow. You can't solve big problems with a wrecking ball. You need to understand not only the problems you're trying to solve, but the problems with your solutions."
Yellow looked down at the table silently. Her tea continued to steam. She lifted a hoof and stared at if for a few minutes. "A wrecking ball?" she echoed darkly. Eventually she looked at Blue with a thoughtful expression. "Blue... are you saying I have fat ankles?"
Author's Note:
We've got a lot of people running around these days trying to save the world, but they don't seem to understand how bad some of their proposed "solutions" are. That they'd just be trading one problem for another. "Either eat the damn cake or admire it," as they say.
10: A Milky Morning
By: Blobskin
Contains: mlp, Milky Way, Anon, amazon, milking
Version: 1
Anon yawned between bites of his buttered bagel. It was a pretty boring breakfast, but then again, breakfast was always a boring meal. The only one in the day he always made while half asleep. Lunch was the meal he always rushed through while dinner was the meal he could put time and thought into perfecting. That left breakfast as the boring one. No rush, but also no mental power to make it good. Anon took another bite of his bagel while humming at his meandering thoughts. Then his attention was pulled towards the doorway where the clopping of large hooves was slowly drawing near. A moment later Milky Way, his roommate and boss, staggered into the room.
Milky Way was an earth mare with cream colored fur and a mane of two blue shades, one dark and one light. She also had a few freckles on her muzzle and the brightest green eyes the man had ever seen. And, like the rest of the ponies in Equestria, she was the size of an elephant compared to Anon.
The huge equine sleepily dragged her hooves across the floor towards the fridge and threw open the door with practiced ease. She roughly grabbed a glass pitcher filled with orange juice then waddled to the counter and quickly poured herself a drink. Anon was polite and kept his eyes off her while she started her own day several minutes behind him.
"Good morning Milky," he greeted politely.
"Hmm, mornin' Anon," she mumbled after downing her juice. Then she groaned. "Oof, I'm sore."
"Already? You haven't even eaten yet," Anon said with a hint of concern.
The large mare glanced at the man apologetically. "I'm sorry, but I feel full to bursting. Could you milk me early today?"
Anon hastily swallowed the last of his bagel. "We'll probably have to empty them an extra time today then."
She cringed. "I can't help it," she whined.
Anon rolled his eyes. "I'm not blaming you or really complaining. I'm just..." he shrugged. "Head for the station. I need to wash my hands."
Milky sighed. "Thanks Anon, you're the best."
A few minutes later saw the large mare standing anxiously in the middle of a back room filled with metal tanks. Milky fidgeted as Anon entered through a door sized for a pony. However, the man would have to keep her waiting for a little bit longer. The practiced hand stepped over to one of the walls where he retrieved a wooden stool and one of the many iron buckets that were neatly stacked beside it. He approached the equine and set his work stool by one of her legs and his bucket beneath one of the mare's enormous drooping breasts, a feature seemingly unique to her.
Anon grunted as he took a seat, rubbed his hands to warm them up a bit, then looked towards Milky's head. "Ready?" he asked.
"Mhm," she hummed, fidgeting again.
So Anon gently pinched one of the mare's engorged teats and began to rhythmically tug. In moments the bucket began to fill with milk while the pony sighed with relief. When the bucket filled Anon set it off to the side to be processed later and quickly grabbed a new one. Milky's comfort came first so he continued diligently milking her until she was drained.
She had specifically hired him to replace the mechanical pumps after all. She described them as being "too aggressive" and his hands as being much more comfortable. Milking her by hand was definitely awkward though, so he kept it strictly professional. No jokes or quips were allowed while he was on the job. For her sake of course. He didn't want to embarrass her.
Author's Note:
I don't have any deep insight to offer for this one, but I did have an amusing side adventure because of it.
Before I wrote this flash fic I needed to look up a reference image of Milky Way so that I could describe her color scheme accurately. So I went to Derpibooru and just typed "Milky Way" into the search. And... all I got were images of some random gray pegasus OC. Like, "who the FUCK are you? Where's the milk mare with the giant titties!?" I spent a few minutes trying to sort through that mystery. I couldn't believe that no one had ever submitted an image of Milky Way to Derpibooru. There was no way. I checked my search filters, I tried messing with my capitalization, I wondered if I was crazy and the milk mare's name never actually was Milky Way.
Then the mystery was solved. I had typed "Milky Way" into search and got nothing. But proper syntax on Derpibooru meant I had to type "oc:milky way" THEN many pages of her popped up. Crisis averted everybody. And good job bronies. You managed to tag EVERY single image of Milky Way correctly, using "oc:milky way".
11: Luna's Shoe Sponge
By: Blobskin
Contains: MLP, Luna, Anon, micro, hoof, sweat
Version: 1
Luna, the dark alicorn princess of Equestria, entered her private quarters with a heavy sigh. It was nearly invisible from more than a step away, but her heavenly fur was marked with tiny drops of sweat after a long day of hard work. The slim pony considered tossing her regalia aside and simply diving into a relaxing bath before bed. However, another plan came to mind and the mare smiled evilly to herself. The bath could wait.
Princess Luna approached her dresser with a bounce in her step and a swing of her hips. Clop. Clop. Clop. There she opened the top drawer and grinned down at her toy.
Anon was stirred awake from his nap by the sudden motion of his prison, which was the entire drawer. His sleepy eyes quickly lost their tiredness as he stared up fearfully at his captor. What horror would she unleash upon him today?
No words were exchanged as her spire-like black horn began to glow and his body followed. The little man was levitated out of the drawer and floated towards a large pillow that lay on the floor. The mare strutted after him playfully. She did not put him down once they arrived however. Instead he was left to hang in the air while the Princess casually readied herself. She sprawled out on-top of the pillow and stretched her legs. One. At. A. Time. She even gave each hoof a twist just to make him wait longer. To set the mood. To ensure he knew who was in charge.
Only after she was good and settled did the Princess deftly pry one of her finely decorated shoes off and let it clatter to the floor. Then she regarded little Anon with a smirk. "Your mission is to struggle. Don't disappoint me," she warned.
He did not get to respond. She didn't care what he had to say anyway. In the blink of an eye he was plummeting from the sky and the man, predictably, screamed. Just before he crashed into the ground however, a familiar blue glow appeared around him and his landing became much slower than expected. But it was still fairly rough. He dropped to the padded surface that was the sole of the royal shoe with a heavy "oof" which knocked the wind out of him.
For a moment he merely lay there in shock, stunned by the fall and landing. Each breath was thick with humidity and a salty taint. Getting his arms under him, the naked man struggled to his knees and took in his new prison. Though the walls were much shorter and the ground much softer, there was still no chance of escape. He was too small to reach the rim of the shoe on its lowest side. It was like being in the middle of a baseball stadium. Granted, a small one.
Giggling from the heavens made Anon jerk his head upward.
Luna loomed over him and his world like a goddess. Her eyes twinkled with mischief. Then she raised a hoof, the same hoof that had once ridden in this very shoe, and waved it at him teasingly. Back and forth it rocked. Slowly. Sensually. Mockingly. She curled her wrist and a short pop came from the joint. She sighed. Her eyelids fluttered. She smirked.
Then the hoof was coming towards him.
In moments the sky grew dark, the gentle light of the Princess's bedroom was obscured by the circular blockage. A musk that carried a hint of feminine charm saturated the air. A strange pressure bore down on his shoulders before the hoof had even properly arrived. The rim of her foot began to slide against the upper walls of the shoe. A gentle grinding noise tickled his ears even as he fell back and held up a hand. Almost all the light vanished.
There was a pause. Then a giggle. Then the sky fell.
A weight Anon couldn't so much as budge with every last ounce of his strength settled atop him and he was crushed down into the padding of the royal footwear. Both surfaces, the cushion below and the rough skin above, were damp with sweat. A pungent aroma filled his every desperate breath as he wrestled for every gasp. Instinctively he struggled. He braced himself as best he could simply trying to fill his greedy lungs. Yet, between the moisture and the cramped space available to him, his fight was little more than random squirms. Equivalent to the meaningless flopping of a stranded fish.
The hoof above responded to his movement with some of its own.
It began to grind against him. Luna was turning her hoof back and forth within the confines of her shoe. For a few moments the heat inside the tight prison grew as his skin warmed from the friction. His front began to burn. Soon he couldn't tell her sweat from his own. The torture was slow and constant. Unrelenting. But after about a minute there finally came a moment of calm and Anon lay limp to bask in the merciful peace.
Then the weight on his body grew exponentially.
Luna unleashed more and more of her godly mass. The pressure threatened to reduce him to a mere stain on the bottom of the Princess's hoof. His bones creaked, his lungs screamed, and spots appeared in his vision. He could barely flex his fingers let alone fight as every last inch of space was flooded with padding from below or flesh from above. Was this the end for him?
Then the huge mare eased off of him. So much so that her foot lifted away entirely, though it did not leave the shoe. It still hovered just over his head. Tauntingly close. Looming. Ready to fall again without warning.
Luna giggled. Their play time had just begun...
Author's Note:
Based on one of the oldest macro/micro line drawings in the fandom. One where an Anon is in Luna's shoe while she dangles her hoof above him. This story was for you hoof lovers out there.
12: Wiped Clean
By Blobskin
Contains: MLP, Twilight, macro, rampage
Version: 1
Twilight understood that chaos was evil. But what was "chaos"? What was "harmony"? These things had to be defined if she was going to inherit rulership of the world. The mare delved into her studies searching for a definition. She had to decide what harmony and chaos meant. How to crush one and forge the other. They were opposites after all. She knew the task would not be easy. She was no longer an ignorant young mare. Chaos was not always blatant. Harmony was not simply friendship.
After some time Twilight finally had her breakthrough. Everything became so obvious. She knew how to create peace. She knew how to defeat chaos and spread harmony forever. Now all she needed was a method and the power.
Years later, Princess Twilight Sparkle put her plan into motion.
The ground quaked continuously. The continent threatened to buckle as great wrinkles spread and tore across the landscape. A roar filled the air that was so powerful it left every living thing deaf. On the horizon no one could mistake the image, though no one believed their eyes either. It was a massive snow plow. A wall of steel as high as the clouds themselves. And churning ahead of it was a mix of earth and stone as the plow leveled the entire continent. Driving this titanic vehicle of death was an equally enormous violet mare who smiled down at her work. At her accomplishment.
The terrain was left bare in her wake. The mountains were flattened. The ravines were filled in. Cities disappeared. Everything that had been was erased. The very surface of the world was shaved. Every living thing exterminated.
This was "harmony". As long as there were differences there would be conflict. To create a true lasting peace required the destruction of all uniqueness. Now, with the planet itself left smooth, there would be no wars. There would be no hatred. There was no chaos. Perfect conformity. Perfect harmony.
This polished sphere was perfection...
Author's Note:
Another one of my "giant, evil, crazy Twilight" shorts. Not sure why that is becoming a thing, but she just seems like the most likely candidate to become a... giant, evil, crazy villain I guess. Partially inspired by that weird game The Eternal Cylinder. HAPPY EARTH DAY OF APRIL 22ND 2023!