Ch. 84
#91 of True Confessions of a Trainer
Trainer
Morning had come, and with it a feeling of hopeful opportunity. I'd made my way to the beach, and let Alcyon out to swim and see to her breakfast, while the girls and I stretched and warmed up, ready to take on all comers. We needed to, for all I didn't necessarily want to. We'd been resting on our laurels, but we needed some league sanctioned action, if we were going to have a roof over our head that night.
I both loved and hated that about being a league trainer. It was purely carrot and stick behavior on their part. Still, whatever I felt about it, it was an immutable fact of life, like the sun and moon. Our first fight was with a pair of surfers. Claire and Mira lead the day, and despite Claire's aversion to water, she fought cleverly, leaning on her psychic prowess to confuse and misdirect the surly looking swanna. Mira for her part handled the azumarill with aplomb. Despite taking a few solid shots from the bouncy and energetic rabbit, she retaliated with deftly placed quick attacks, ending the fight with a solid take down. Something she doubtless learned from sparring with Cocoa.
It was Helena who took on the next challenger, and found herself frustrated to cussing by the dugtrio's quickness in the sand. They set her up repeatedly, with rapidly sinking holes and low strikes that kept her swatting at empty air. Her frustration was becoming palpable, and her anger besides. I felt it in the air, a sick darkness, a creeping sense of dread. The dugtrio popped up, distressed and looking to strike at her, and the moment they did she sucker punched the dugtrio so hard it squeaked and two of the three heads fainted.
** "GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING** DIRT RAT BULLSHIT!" She exclaimed snarling as she came back to my side, swatting at the sand the entire way, sulking despite having won. "I SWEAR TO FUCKING ARCEUS! I JUST WANT TO BITE SOMETHING." she continued ranting for several minutes going through a number of colorful invectives about ground types that would have seared the ears off the poor trainer, if he could understand what she was screaming.
Belle took center stage for the next match, squaring off against a cautious looking stoutland. The two circled one another warily, trading a small shot here and there, but neither was fully willing to commit before testing the other's defenses. They seemed at an impasse, before the trainer, a school kid with thick glasses called out for the stoutland to attack.
The change was instant, and Belle was put on the defensive by the sudden ferocity, a flurry of bites and tackles trying to drive her into a corner. As Helena shouted at her, she scurried out of the way of another blow, responding by kicking up sand in the face of the stoutland, before delivering a few solid punches and kicks in close combat.
The fight was controlled savagery. Neither wanted to truly hurt the other, but both were not willing to yield yet. In the end they were reduced to fangs and claws, scrabbling in the sand before the boy called his stoutland back, unwilling to risk things getting out of hand. I could have called it a win, but honestly I had to respect the kid, we parted with it registered as a draw, and I thanked him for the good match and sound judgment.
The day proceeded that way, even after Alcyon returned. Pleasantly full and ready for a little fun, she joined in the battles, and had no qualms about making good use of impactful ice on such a hot day. To be honest, I was tempted to gather up the shards, in the aftermath just to have somewhere cool to sit.
We'd done well! Certainly we won more than we lost by a long shot, and though everyone was tired by mid afternoon, our prospects had improved markedly. A good lunch and we found ourselves wandering back to the small room we'd rented, to look over the map and some of the local tourist brochures, to decide what came next.
Sharon - Trainer met aboard the cruise ship
I couldn't believe it when Shizuka told me. My heart ached. It pounded in my chest as she said she'd even heard him call her by name. Alcyon... Alcyon was with him? Arceus, but that brought up a lot of bitter memories. She'd deserved better. She was the reason I knew the truth about my sister, what a monster she was. What Alcyon went through, nobody should ever have gone through. I understood how she was made to feel, better than anyone in the world. Hadn't I gone through the exact same thing? Wasn't I, still?
I went to him. To the room he was staying at. It was a miserable walk, anxiety and stress and hurt and all the horrible memories welling up one after another. I knocked on his door with a trembling hand, and when he opened it, I didn't know what to say. I was a mess. I stood there, dripping sweat from the heat of the day and the long walk over, and I looked up at him, and I tried. I tried so hard to find the words. Any words. And I didn't have them, and I thought he was going to slam the door in my face...
and he didn't.
He waited a few moments, as if I might find my tongue but I couldn't... and he took me gently by the shoulder and brought me into the room.
His pokemon were there. A few of them at least, it was a tiny, cramped space that they were sharing, a stack of tourist trap advertisements on the worn old table that he'd pulled beside the bed. They looked to me with a mixture of surprise and confusion. Tempest at least, got up to greet me, a querying growl and a hand on my shoulder.
I don't know why that, of all things, broke me down into tears.
"I'm sorry." I repeated, as I cried, surrounded by him, and his pokemon, all supporting me, trying to figure out what the problem was. It was everything. Everything, and nothing and ancient history and right in my face and I had been struggling to breathe, to just not make it all worse. "We need to talk." I finally managed, sitting at the edge of the bed.
"I was wrong. About everything. I know." I said, shaking my head and looking at him. "And I can't take that back and I'm not going to try, because you deserve better than you got from me, and that's how it is. But this is more important than that. More important than how I feel, and how much my heart aches at the thought of what I ruined."
"You... you have Alcyon, right? Purple Lapras? Ring any bells? Is she ... Is she alright?" I wasn't asking, anymore. I was pleading. Pleading for some kind of hope, some kind of light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
Helena - Trainer's Absol
That explained the headache... fuck's sake, but what was it with this fucker and bringing the drama right to our doorstep? I mean, yeah, obviously I couldn't say anything but still, Arceus he was either the unluckiest son of a bitch this side of Hoenn, or he was doing it on purpose! Still, he led her outside, and let Alcyon out of the pokeball, a curiously irritated expression in his eyes as she looked at him, looked at her, and immediately doused her with frigid water.
He tried not to laugh. Tried. I think my laughter broke him though, he laughed until he was wheezing, his arm draped over Alcyon's neck for support as she grumbled at him in irritation. While she threatened to get him, next, it was empty, and she blushed and looked away when he apologized.
"It's not your fault. The islands are a small place." Alcyon said, with a resigned huff. "But we're adding a rule. Stay the fuck away from her sister. That girl ... that girl deserves all the misery she ever gets." She said, before turning her gaze back to a drenched and shivering Sharon. "This one... This one I'll tolerate, but only tolerate. I'd like to go back in my pokeball for a while, thank you."
Master stared at Sharon as she asked what Alcyon had said, and for a moment it looked like he was trying to stare into the very heart of her. "She hates your sister. She barely tolerates you, but she absolutely despises your sister. Explain."
He was firm, and she withered, clearly not wanting to tell what was certain to be an unhappy and shameful story. Zorah came to her side, but not her defense, nudging her toward him to answer for whatever had happened in the past. I wasn't sure what to expect, but for all my horn had been nagging at me for days about headaches, drama and arguments, I didn't see that coming.
She stared up at him like a nidoran about to be scolded by her mother, and I had a front row seat to it all.
I could almost hear Belle's voice as she looked at me with a mercilessly taunting expression. _'Finally! Drama that didn't have anything to do with you, troublemaker.' _
I didn't need to read minds to hear her smug tone as she winked at me.
I wanted to give her a shove, but the look was teasingly meant and honestly, she knew me well enough to give me that look. Besides, I loved her way too much to get offended by her silent jabs. I'd just get her back later.
Trainer
"Explain." I'd repeated, as she stared up at me, as I waited right there in the grass in front of the hotel, for her to answer. For Alcyon to hate anyone... to react that way to her? To amend the rules just like that? "I want to believe better of you. She hates your sister, not you. So explain to me what happened."
She seemed to crumble at that, and sat heavily, arms wrapped around her knees, as she looked anywhere but at me. "My sister... she basically runs the contest circuit here in Alola. When she shows up to compete, people would drop out if they could. But they're all afraid of her. More than they're afraid of being shown up on stage. Her pokemon are beautiful, elegant and seductive. She would never admit it, but she's taught them to do that on purpose. Picked them for it. To win contests at any cost." She paused and struggled to say what came next, faltered twice before she swallowed past the lump in her throat, fighting back bitter tears. "There's... There's rumors, too. I don't ... I don't know if I believe them, and I don't want to believe them, but there's rumors about things that go on behind the scenes. You name it, tampering with other people's pokemon, or tools, bribing the judges, or intimidating the other trainers to throw the matches. Probably worse stuff, too. Definitely worse stuff."
"Alcyon... Alcyon was supposed to be her crown jewel. Can you imagine? A lapras with a rare colorization? Her beautiful song and the shimmer of ice and frost on stage illuminated by a hundred colorful lights, like fireworks? She'd have been front and center, and at first I thought my sister really loved her. Cass fussed over her so much, you know? But... "
She shook her head, bitter tears falling at the memories. "Alcyon didn't want to perform. I don't remember why, I was a kid and I didn't understand. I think ... I think she was being told to ... to do things for the judges, or another trainer. She never told me what, just that she refused, and bit Cass. That was that, and... and I found her pokeball months later, buried in the closet in a shoebox. Cass said she'd released her, but she just ... locked her away. Of course she would, could you imagine the scandal if Alcyon had spoken out about it?"
"So... I was afraid, when Shizuka told me she'd seen you two together. I was afraid she'd get hurt again... and... a-and I'm sorry for spying on you. I just wanted to see you again. Please don't hate me for it!"
I needed a moment to collect my thoughts, to make sense of it all. To even begin to understand what Sharon had just said to me. "So you let her go. I'm sure your sister is thrilled about that." I said, with a shake of my head. "She probably doesn't even know, does she? That pokeball is still in the shoebox, and she cares so little, she hasn't even gone back to see it, has she?" I sighed as Sharon nodded.
"Well..." I said, shaking my head. "Alcyon is ..." I tried to find a word, any word to explain, but what was there? What the fuck did I know about how Alcyon actually felt? How Alcyon was holding up? "Alcyon is." I said at last. "And that's as good as you, or I can ask of her right now." I shrugged in helplessness and defeat. "I don't know what to say, or think about the rest. I promised Alcyon I'd do right by her, and that means there's no way in hell I'm dragging her back to that world or those memories. Understand? She deserves friends who respect her wishes. I won't do less than that."
"No. No, you're right. You're absolutely right." Sharon said, with a sigh of relief as she looked up at me at last. "I'm glad you feel that way. I was wrong about you, and I'm sorry. I didn't understand how serious you took your friendships with them. I should have listened to you, back then. To what you were really trying to tell me. I'm sorry."
"Hey, what's done is done." I said with a shrug. "It's not like you destroyed me over it. You just needed to look after yourself. I can't be mad about that. Wanna come in out of the heat? We were looking over some stuff, trying to figure out where to go next. I guess we'll take the contest halls off the list for now."
Shizuka - Sharon's Haunter
It irritated me in a way I couldn't let go of. I wanted to torment him, just a little. I wanted to give him chills, or nightmares, or just linger and see what misery he brought on himself. He hadn't done anything wrong, and it wasn't like I wanted to hurt him. Not like the others. But he was too unguarded. Too unwary. He was cute , and cute things didn't last in this world. He needed to not be cute.
I was glad it was him. That someone like him met Alcyon. I'd never admit to Sharon the truths I knew. I was just a gastly back then, and what I saw? What I saw _ changed me _. Made me who I am. I learned the truth about humans from that demon, Cassandra. Worse still, from following her; to see so many others who just _ gleefully _ indulging in the worst of their sins. I saw again and again the truth of humans.
Cute never survived an encounter with their like.
But humans like Sharon's new friend also existed. Ones who were naive in their own ways. Who believed in the things they said, the promises they made. Who would have died cute, and naive, and innocent like he was destined to. I couldn't hate him, even when everything he was irritated me and made me want to torment him.
I wanted to torment him.
I wanted to drown Cass.
I wanted to protect Sharon.
I wanted to apologize to Alcyon.
I'd have to find a way to do those things. To make them happen. Having this thrown back in my face. That I did nothing. Could do nothing. Was afraid, was helpless just as Sharon was. That my lies and omissions clung to me like my own shadow... this was my torment. His innocence and naivete was my inquisitor, and I knew the weight of my own sins in this. An endless pit I had made an art form of ignoring.
Cute never survived an encounter with sins like these.
As I looked to Sharon, she looked to me, and I wanted to believe she understood everything I only wished I knew how to say.
Things weren't finished. Not by the last shadow of sunset. Things had been left undone, and what we had failed to do would undo us, if we were unwary.
No way could she look at Alcyon and be content to leave it be, now. It would burn in her, every time she saw that lapras. Every time she saw the pokeball she was being kept in, now. Probably every time she looked at her friend. It would eat her alive. But maybe she was strong enough now. To step through the darkness that she'd let herself be surrounded by. Maybe she'd be strong enough this time.
If she chose that fight, I'd be her dagger. I'd make sure the gastly I once was found peace, and I'd make sure Cass paid dearly for what she'd done. If she didn't... I'd have to accept that some wounds were too deep to face. But I didn't want that for her. I didn't want her to have the regrets I held, still.
Zorah - Sharon's Zoroark
Bloody Arceus , but the girl sure could pick them, couldn't she? The first guy in years that didn't immediately fuck her over, and he somehow manages to dredge up the worst pain she'd ever felt, anyway! I could have laughed. I honestly wanted to. I didn't know the full story, I knew it was bad but nobody ever told me what I'd learned today. Talk about a font of misery!
There wasn't an illusion I could weave that would have changed how bad shit was in their family, it's why we said bollocks to it and bailed to begin with. Her sister was a real piece of work, but her father? That bastard could make a tentacruel look for a therapist! I was relieved when Sharon finally ran away. That he didn't manage to get his hooks in the girl and twist her up like her elder sister. She'd been wounded, but at least he hadn't poisoned her heart like Cassandra.
And this guy. This fucking guy... not his fault, I knew. I wasn't mad at him, but damn! What bad luck she had to meet him. She was trying to move on, trying to pull away from it all, and he just had to show up and exist, didn't he?
So here we were, and I knew that look on her face. There wasn't a damn thing Shizuka or I could say that would change her mind now. She was gonna go picking at it, and poking at it, until it bled again. She was going to make a nuisance of herself, and we were just along for the ride this time.
Worst part was... it felt like Shizuka was fucking in on it. Those two girls were going to be the death of me, I swear!
So here we were, watching her banter with him and his pokemon about the stupid chintzy tourist traps like a couple of yobs on holiday, while everyone in the room just tried to pretend nothing happened or was going to happen, even though I knew for an absolute fact every single one of us was bloody well aware it was about to be a real problem.
Why the bloody hell were humans so irritating about this? If you want to go pick a fight, pick a bloody fight. Don't stand there and pretend you can't taste the iron in your mouth while you lie about it!