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A DAY OFF

By Gideon Kalve Jarvis

Tiredness. That was the first and most pressing feeling weighing down on every nerve fiber in his body. Dying took a lot out of a person, and no matter how many times he had to go through with it, the same was true for the Big Bad Wolf.

Two massive hand-like paws reached over the edge of an old stone well sitting next to a pleasant little cottage in the woods. The hands were soon followed by an attractive lupine face, and a very large and well-muscled black-furred body.

"Disgusting," coughed the Big Bad Wolf, spitting out the last of the pebbles that had been sewn up inside of him. He shook himself vigorously, and once again found himself surprised at how easily the water came off his body.

"Down time," he said with a long sigh of relief, a faint smile on his muzzle. "Not much, but at least it's something."

Finding himself thirsty (an irony to one who has just drowned, and one that didn't escape him), the Big Bad Wolf started off at a dogtrot into the forest. He could have used the water from the well next to Grandma's house, but somehow the thought of drinking water from a place where he'd just died didn't appeal to him one bit.

Not far away there was a little brook running through a pleasant meadow filled with wildflowers of such color and variety that it was almost impossible to believe that they were real. Birds were singing brightly, insects hummed busily about, and the sun shone down, catching everything in its radiance and giving the entire scene an even more vibrant and glowing appearance. Despite all the glories of nature vying for attention from his eyes, the Big Bad Wolf didn't even notice as he stumbled past, ducking his head into the water of the brook and then shaking himself off once more to clear his mind. He'd seen it all before, more times than he liked to think about. The only thing he liked about this place was that it smelled nicer than houses owned by goats and pigs, even goats and pigs who walked on two legs and spoke just like humans.

"Mm, breakfast," murmured the Big Bad Wolf as he raised his eyes from the brook where he'd been drinking, and focused them upon a rabbit nibbling on wildflowers a short distance off. The next second he was licking blood off his lips and tucking into his meal with a vengeance. All that he'd had to eat recently were a bony old grandma, a girl of perhaps fourteen, if that, and a bellyfull of pebbles (which, incidentally, had replaced the previous two), and so he was quite famished.

"Thank the Author nobody's made up any stories with a rabbit as the protagonist, and a wolf as the antagonist," said the Wolf to himself as he settled down to digest his meal and maybe catch a quick nap. "Even when I'm a part of the 'Boy Who Cried Wolf' story I can't eat the sheep. I just drive them off, or I have to try and gobble up every last one of them, something that taxes even my limitless gullet. And when I do that, I wind up spitting them all out again anyway so we can do the story again."

The Big Bad Wolf was prone to introspection, and especially to thinking out loud. This was mostly because he was a wolf, a social creature by nature, and yet was always forced to wander alone, without any of his own kind for company, while everybody else in the world in which he lived did everything in their power to avoid him. It was a lonely existence, but somehow the Big Bad Wolf got by. He'd done it for centuries, and figured that he'd probably do it for many more. Mostly he tried not to think too much, and that helped a lot. If he really considered his situation, the Big Bad Wolf realized on an deeply instinctual level that he would not like what would come to his mind. And if he had any regrets in his line of work, a job that could span literally thousands of years, it was only a matter of time before the depression would overwhelm him.

"Tired," grumbled the Wolf to himself, rolling over on his side and quickly falling into a doze. He never dared to sleep too deeply when he was off the job, for fear that something might happen and he would miss it. Though he might not always enjoy what he was required to do, he felt beholden to accomplish his duties, and wouldn't let his personal feelings stand in the way of a good story. After all, if he didn't fulfill his purpose in life, what was the point of being alive at all?

"What is the point?" the Big Bad Wolf mused to himself as he came back to consciousness a short while later. "I'm always on the move. No den, no pack. Where exactly do I fit into all of this? Is being a bad guy all that there is for me?"

There was a bad aftertaste in his mouth after gobbling up the rabbit, fur and all, so he went to the brook for a drink. With food in his stomach and a nice nap under his belt, the Big Bad Wolf felt a whole lot better. And with this comfortable feeling came the realization that it was a really nice day. A gentle breeze ruffled his fur slightly, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the soft wind and the feeling of the warm sun on his back.

"Maybe I'll just take a break today," said the Big Bad Wolf finally. "After all, I just ate the girl a little while ago, and Grandma too." His eyes opened and he made a sour face, then shuddered. "That old woman has got to have the nastiest flavor I've ever had to swallow whole. Even the seven little goats don't taste that bad compared to her. If it weren't for Little Red Riding Hood, I don't think I could handle doing this story as much as I do. Ah," he started to smile a little, giving a soft sigh as a thought came to him, "Little Red Riding Hood."

The thought of the red-caped girl made the Big Bad Wolf pause for a long, long moment. She was the only person in the entire world that would talk to him without the least bit of fear. When he spoke with her, Little Red Riding Hood always showed the utmost trust in all his words, as only a little girl could. And how did he repay that trust? By eating both her and then her grandmother, gulping them down like a snake swallowing eggs. As the Big Bad Wolf thought about this, he couldn't help but get an uncomfortable, queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he was pretty sure didn't come from the rabbit.

"A little break couldn't hurt one bit," the Big Bad Wolf finally said with a nod of his head. "I need it. I've been in this line of work way too long for the stuff I have to do."

After making his resolution to take the day off, the Big Bad Wolf turned and began to trot off into the forest. The day was cool and clear, and the sunlight filtered through the canopy of the trees, sending cool beams of sunlight all around him, painting the depths of the forest in soft, gentle colors that invited all within its depths to rest and find peace. But after some time of casual walking, enjoying the scenery, the sweet scents and the soft breezes of the deep forest, the Big Bad Wolf found himself blinking in surprise and more than a little dismay. Despite all his determinations to the contrary, right before him was a little path cutting through the forest. It was a path he knew very well, having walked it many times before. It was the path to Grandma's house, and the only path in the forest on which could be found . . .

"Little Red Riding Hood," the Wolf groaned to himself as he covered his eyes with one large paw-hand. His sensitive ears could already hear her bright voice as she sang to the songbirds and squirrels of the forest. He didn't need to look up as the singing stopped and was followed by a long, pregnant pause. Even without looking, the Big Bad Wolf knew that Little Red Riding Hood was standing in front of him, looking at him expectantly and waiting for his next line.

"Hello, Mister Wolf," said a bright voice that made the Big Bad Wolf's heart throb a little faster. "How are you doing today?"

"You're baiting me, Red," growled the Big Bad Wolf, lowering his paw back to the ground so that he could look her in the eyes. "Your mother told you not to talk to strangers, yet here you are, talking to me, instead of hurrying on your way to Grandma's house with your basket of goodies like you're supposed to."

Little Red Riding Hood seemed a little confused by this, but after a few blinks of her eyes her smile returned full-force.

"Well, my mother says that about most people, but nobody's ever hurt me yet. Besides, you look like a nice person." Then she frowned a little. "How did you know what my mother told me? Or where I was going, for that matter?"

"Looks can be deceiving, Red," said the Big Bad Wolf. "And just because you've never been hurt in the past, doesn't mean that somebody won't hurt you in the future. To answer your question, it's because we've both done this before. Too many times before. Well, I've had it. I'm too old for this, and so are you. Now shut up, grow up and get going. Grandma is waiting, and that stupid Woodsman, too. Go find the beau who's supposed to settle down with you in a healthy relationship, and stop messing around with male predator archetypes like me."

As the Big Bad Wolf looked at the little girl in front of him, so small that she only came up to his massive shoulder when he was on all fours, he watched her countenance fall, and then as she began to sob a little. He felt quite the heel for speaking with such a harsh tone, but he forced himself to be firm. This was one day he wasn't going to be eating anybody. Of that he was quite certain. But that certainty faltered very quickly as Little Red Riding Hood lifted her face and looked at the wolf with her wide, tear-stained eyes.

"You didn't speak to me like you were supposed to," said the red-caped little girl in a small, sad voice that sounded so lost, and so very helpless. "You're supposed to act friendly, and I forget all about what my mother said, and then you take me to a field of pretty flowers, and run ahead using a shortcut, and then . . ."

"Hush," said the Big Bad Wolf, pressing a finger to the little girl's lips, stilling her voice. She seemed surprised but didn't object, even when the Wolf stood up and gently wrapped his strong arms around her. Little Red Riding Hood actually seemed to relax in the Big Bad Wolf's arms.

"I . . . I don't know what to do now," said Little Red Riding Hood in a soft voice. "I'm afraid of what this means." She looked up at the Big Bad Wolf. "What should I do? What should we do? I mean, if we're not doing the story . . ."

"We do what we want to do," said the Big Bad Wolf, releasing Little Red Riding Hood and taking her hand instead. "C'mon. That field of flowers sounds like a great place to start."

The Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood made their way to the field of wildflowers where she had wasted so much time while the Big Bad Wolf spent his time gobbling up Grandma and then dressing up in a nightgown to catch the little girl unawares. He hadn't ever really appreciated why Little Red Riding Hood liked the place so much. At least until now. As the Big Bad Wolf watched Little Red Riding Hood run through the flowers, he blinked in surprise as the change in the story caused her to change as well. In a matter of moments she matured into a beautiful young woman before his very eyes, even as she glanced over her shoulder and called out to the Wolf to come join her in the meadow. And how could anyone resist a voice and face as sweet as Red's? The pair frolicked for a time amidst the flowers, the Big Bad Wolf sometimes on four legs, and sometimes on two, then fell into the middle of them in order to rest. The Big Bad wolf couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so good. As he lay on his back next to Red, he smiled over at her, and she returned the smile unashamedly. He leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss, which she returned.

"I wish this moment could last forever," said Red dreamily, hugging the Wolf close.

"So do I," replied the Big Bad Wolf.

Many hours later, the Big Bad Wolf awoke. Feeling refreshed and renewed after the long and peaceful slumber he'd spent next to Red, the Big Bad Wolf climbed to his feet and stretched, feeling better than he'd felt in many long years. He looked up and was a little surprised to see that the sun was still high in the sky, but simply shrugged it off as another quirk of the strange world of fairy tales in which he lived. He glanced over at Red, the bent and gave her a gentle shake with his hand. She stirred, and then came awake.

"Hello, Red," said the Big Bad Wolf with a wolfish grin.

"Hey, Beebee," replied Red. The Wolf scowled at this, and Red laughed.

"Just don't call me that in public," said the Big Bad Wolf with a glance around. "I wouldn't want it to catch on."

Red giggled at this, but she did eventually agree not to tell anyone else the pet name she'd picked for him. Looking around, the Big Bad Wolf soon found Red's basket and brought it to her while she retied the white apron she wore on the front of her dress, which she'd removed while they lay together among the tall flowers.

"C'mon," said the Big Bad Wolf as Red took her basket. "Let's go for a walk. There's still lots of daylight left, so we can take our time."

Red agreed eagerly, never having been on a walk just for the sake of walking before, and they both started off into the cool shade of the forest. They were just starting to really relax, when quite abruptly they came to a halt at the side of a thin game trail through the forest. It was a trail that they both recognized at once, for they had both traveled it many times in the past. The Big Bad Wolf frowned at the reminder of his bad past, and promptly turned around, leading Red back through the woods. But in almost no time at all, they came upon a well-worn dirt path leading through the forest, this time with a neatly-lettered sign that said "Grandma's" on it, with a smaller sign beneath it pointing toward a smaller game path through the woods that read "Shortcut."

Red's hand started to hold tight to the Big Bad Wolf's arm, and she looked up at him with the questions in her eyes. He just shook his head, not looking at her, and then turned with her and began to walk a little way into the woods, just enough to be out of sight of the path to Grandma's house, and then changed direction again. The Big Bad Wolf, being a wolf, had excellent direction sense, especially when inside his own territory. He couldn't have gotten lost, of that he was certain. But if they weren't lost - as he began to realize with an awful hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach as they came upon the broad, paved road that led to Grandma's house, the well-traveled cobblestones cutting through the woods like an arrow through an apple - then there was only one other alternative. The Big Bad Wolf looked torn for a long, long moment, with Red looking very concerned and more than a little frightened, clinging to his arm for whatever strength she could get. Finally the Big Bad Wolf heaved a long, sad sigh, and looked down at Red, slipping a black-furred hand under her chin to tilt her face upward.

"Why don't you fill that basket with some flowers for Grandma?" said the Wolf with a gentle smile. "The meadow's just over that way. I'll go on ahead and see how she's doing, all right?"

Red smiled as she took the basket, suddenly feeling a great relief flood over her at the return to familiar territory. She eagerly nodded her ascent before turning and beginning to gather some of the many beautiful flowers in the meadow, which was indeed only a short distance away. To the Big Bad Wolf, though, there wasn't a flower to be found that could be more beautiful than his Little Red Riding Hood. This thought filled him with pain as he turned and made his way back to the path to Grandma's house, which was once again only a thin trail. He glanced over his shoulder only once, then shook his head as he started off at a brisk dogtrot. In the sparse moments he had turned away, Little Red Riding Hood had returned to the age he was used to seeing, and he knew that his fate was sealed.

Racing off down the shortcut through the woods, the Big Bad Wolf soon reached Grandma's house. A single knock on the door brought an almost immediate response.

"Been waiting long, Grandma?" asked the Big Bad Wolf with a cheeky grin as the old woman stepped out into the sunlight.

"Yes, I have," said Grandma in a sour, grouchy voice. "What kept you, Wolf?"

"I took the day off," said the Big Bad Wolf, a response that made Grandma's mouth drop open. "Don't worry, though. I'm off my break now."

Grandma nodded sagely.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said, though it was hard to tell if she meant it. "Now get moving. There's a story to be told here, and I'm not about to lose my immortality over your lousy day off."

"Happy to oblige," said the Big Bad Wolf with a sinister growl. He leapt into the house, knocking Grandma backward, and slammed the door behind him to muffle the screams.

Some time later, Little Red Riding Hood came along the path, just as she was supposed to, her basket filled with flowers. She knocked on the door, then entered when she heard a faint voice from within. The interior of Grandma's house was very dark, as it often was, and the curtains of her four-poster bed were drawn, making it impossible to see who was lying in it.

"G-Grandma?" asked Little Red Riding Hood in a voice that trembled only a little. "Is that you?"

"No, my dear," said a high-pitched falsetto from the darkness. "But we'd better get this over with anyway."

Little Red Riding Hood walked to the bed, and parted the curtain before stepping up onto the bed. The figure was almost impossible to see with a big nightcap on its head and the shadows all around, but as the little girl got closer, she could start to make out different features of the figure. But the more she saw, the more her heart began to sink with despair.

"Oh Grandma," began Little Red Riding Hood, but the figure raised a large hand to stop her.

"We know what's going to happen, Red," said the Big Bad Wolf in his normal voice. "Just skip to the chase."

"G-grandma, what big ears you have," she began hesitantly, then shook her head. "But why?" asked the little girl, her eyes full of hurt and loss. "Why must we do this? I thought you wanted to stop?"

"All the better to hear you, my dear," said the Wolf in a tired voice. "I do, Red. But I can't. I can't any more than you can. We're just shades and archetypes, and figments of the imagination. Haven't you noticed how it's been daytime for all this time, even though I know for a fact that we've been at this for enough hours to put it pretty close to midnight?"

Red nodded, her eyes downcast.

"Grandma, what big eyes you have," she said in a voice that was hardly more than a whisper.

"All the better to see you, my dear. Nothing we can do about it, Red," continued the Big Bad Wolf. "We have to finish the story. There's no rest for us, not so long as children are afraid of the dark and believe that the stork brings babies."

"Grandma, what big paws you have," sobbed Red, dropping her basket and throwing her arms around the Big Bad Wolf. His arms rose and wrapped around her tenderly, tears in his eyes as well.

"All the better to hold you, my dear."

"And what big teeth you have."

Her voice was so quiet he almost couldn't hear it. Red's eyes were wide, fright freezing her in place as the Big Bad Wolf looked down at the little girl in his arms. He clenched his jaws shut, whimpering in pain as he tried to resist, to fight everything that formed the core of his being. But then he realized the awful truth: if he didn't yield, he would lose her forever. The story was made so that they could be together. If he didn't let it happen, then what would become of their world?

"All the better to eat you, my dear," said the Big Bad Wolf gently, his hands rubbing the little girl's back, guiding her head toward his maw. "Just relax, and it'll go easier. And don't worry: the Woodsman will be here soon, just like he always is."

"I know," said Red in her soft voice, sounding so scared that it stung the Big Bad Wolf to the heart. "But I'm still frightened."

"So am I," said the Wolf. "But always remember that I love you."

"I love you too."

It was over before either of them realized it. The Big Bad Wolf lay back on the bed, tears streaming from his eyes. He looked out through a hole in the curtains, and saw the Woodsman walking past the window of Grandma's house, and let his eyelids close. He was so tired, drained both physically and emotionally. Sleep was what he needed most, and he let it claim him even as he heard the door rattle and then open.

"Just get them out quickly," were the last words the Big Bad Wolf said before he let reality fall away, and entered the only release he could find: in his dreams.