FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's note: Well, I was right. This installment was a Christmas special. To be correct, however, it's only half of it. I'll get around to the other half... Eventually.

My alarm went off. I moved to go commit an act of violence against it, but I found I could not move my arms. Or my legs, I blearily found out. My limbs felt fuzzy and heavy. With great effort, I pried my eyelids open, and looked down at myself. And therein I found my problem; Sally was holding me so tight, I could not move. I took a moment to admire her; shining silver grey fur, the adorable way she turned her head when she slept, and the unbearably precious little breaths she took, stirring the fur on her chest. I took her head in both hands, and turned it from side to side. "Time to wake up, puppy..."

She squeezed her eyes shut, whined softly, and put her head back against my chest. I started to tickle her gently, and laughed. "Come on, Sally, you've got to get up..." She barked sleepily, and rolled over, exposing the fluff on her little tummy. I could not resist such an invitation, and started to tickle in earnest. Her adorable green eyes shot open, and she barked loudly. Her paws grabbed my hands, and I bumped my forehead against hers. "Well, now that you're up, would you mind letting me up?"

She smiled sweetly, yawned, and said "Oh... Okay, Master." She let go of my limbs and stretched herself to as long as she would go, while I told the alarm clock I would kill its family if it didn't shut up. The third occupant of the bed stretched too, one limb at a time from his tight bundle.

He yawned, and uncurled languorously. He said "For Pete's sake, would it kill ye to get up quietly? Every morning, it's a blasted scrum."

That would be my newest roommate Falin, a Feline. If you're wondering why he sounds like that, go back and read that again with an Irish accent. Falin's abrasive, sarcastic, and I think he's making fun of me with his speech patterns, but what are ya gonna do? Family's family.

I paused in my dressing. Family? Is that what we are now? It's a lovely thought, but is it true? I shook the thought from my head, and continued dressing. After I was suitably attired in my Wildtech ensemble, I looked around for Sally. I couldn't see her, so I walked around the bed. There she was, on the floor, getting dressed. Sally, a Lupine, had the oddest way of getting dressed I'd ever seen. She'd get out an article of clothing, lay down on the floor, and kind of scoot/crawl into it. Right now, her shirt was stuck around her head, and she was repeatedly bonking her head on the wall. I laughed, and knelt down. "Let me help you with that, puppy." I pulled the shirt into place, and her adorable head popped out.

She smiled and squeezed her eyes shut. "Thank you, Master!"

I smoothed a little of her rumpled hair out, and said "No problem." Well, Wildlians don't really have hair, per se, but Sally had a ruff of fur around her head that looked a damn sight like it, so I rolled with it. I heard chuckling behind me, and looked to see Falin getting dressed. He got dressed normally, and had just put his right leg through his favorite pair of khaki pants. He could do something weird with his eyes; one would be focused on what he was doing, but the other could swivel around seemingly of its' own accord. One of his eyes was staring at me, and he smirked. "Oh, yes, thank you, Master." I threw a balled-up sock at him.

After eating a breakfast of scrumptious pancakes and sausage prepared by Falin, who had turned out to be an excellent chef, me and Sally set out. I was going to my job as Wildtech's chief geneticist, and Sally was coming with me for treatment of... Let's just say a problem. See, although Sally was a fully grown Lupine, the approximate size and shape of a human being, she kind of acted like a little kid. I suspected it might have something to do with the person who'd owned her before, so I was enlisting the help of a person trained to deal exclusively with Wildlians; a coworker of mine, Eileen Strauss. As we drove and Sally hung her head out the window and barked in delight, I pontificated. I really wanted Sally to get better. She wasn't exactly sick, but it couldn't be healthy to act like an animal all the time, could it? Besides, if she got better, then maybe I could... I pushed the thought from my mind with a disgusted shove. I was Sally's friend, her caretaker, and, legally, her owner; nothing more!

I passed the gate into Wildtech, and drove through the complex. The shiny white buildings and modern architecture always soothed my soul and helped me forget, just for a while, the things done here. I pulled up next to the Behavioral Sciences building, and opened the door for Sally. She leaped out, and followed me (thankfully, on two legs) into the building. She swiveled her head and her ears like three roving antennae, trying to take in everything at once. I navigated past the curving reception desk, with its potted palms and streams of water enclosed under glass, and wended my way through floors and levels until I arrived at the door I was looking for. It read "Eileen Strauss; Chief Behavioral Scientist." I knocked, and a cheery female voice said "Entre, wilkommen, bienvenue, come on in!"

I opened the door, and held it for Sally. The room was in sharp contrast to the ultra-modern tone of the facility. Conservative, mellow-toned wooden furniture littered the office, and prints of bucolic scenes were scattered along the walls. Behind a rather impressive desk, one of my best friends at work sat.

Eileen Strauss was actually my best friend, period. She was of Germanic descent, and had fluffy blond hair and lovely blue eyes. She always had a bawdy joke or tongue-in-cheek comment, and was pretty dang smart, to boot. In fact, we'd had a relationship some years previously. However, when I sank into a deep depression following solving the Hand-Paw problem, I cut it off for her sake. I didn't want my problems to drag her down. We were still good friends, though.

Eileen smiled up at me. "Robert! Good to see you, you've been off work lately for so long I was beginning to wonder if..."

She trailed off when she saw Sally, who was starting to get overwhelmed by all this new scenery. She stayed close to me, and kept looking back to me for reassurance.

Eileen looked at me open-mouthed. After a moment, she regained her composure. Smiling at Sally, she said "Hello, dear. And you would be...?"

Sally flinched at being addressed directly. Holding her arms to her chest, she shyly said "Sally... Sally Daniels."

I twitched. Did... Did she just give my last name as her own? What does she think... Eileen interrupted. She looked back at me, and flicked her eyes toward Sally. "So, Robert, what brings you to my humble workplace? Surely the great Scientist of Sacramento has no need of mind-doctoring?"

I winced at my epithet. I hated being called the Scientist of Sacramento. It made no sense! I only grew up there; I didn't work there, or live there, or even study there. But, scientist rhymes with Sacramento, the media needed a snappy name to call me after I solved the Hand-Paw problem, and well, here we are.

I said "No, not me, shrink, my furry little friend here. She's been having problems lately." I turned to Sally. "Puppy, why don't you go look out the window and count how many people you can see?"

Sally perked up at this mathematical test. "Sure, Master!" She bounded to the window across the room, and started looking. I leaned in closer to Eileen's desk, and started whispering. "See what I mean? She won't stop calling me Master, sometimes she acts like a child, she has severe separation anxiety, and has nightmares when she sleeps alone. It sounds like a case of infantile trauma."

Eileen whispered back. "Hmm... You could be right. She does sound a little childish... But what's with her last name? You didn't..."

I grimaced. "Of course not! Taking her would be like taking a child. I'm just worried about her; she might hurt herself."

Eileen jotted down a few notes on a sheet of paper. "Look, Rob, I'll see what I can do, but psychology isn't an exact science. It's not like genetics; I can't look at some behavior and say, 'oh, this is caused by such-and-such and can be changed by so-and-so.' I'll try my best. How long do you want to leave her here?"

"I've still got to work today, so around five-ish."

She tapped a few keys on her computer. "Well, there goes my WoW schedule. Luckily, I have no appointments today, so I can give Sally my full attention. Is there anything else I should know about her?"

I rubbed my chin. Damn, I forgot to shave. "Well, she refuses to sleep alone, she eats all her food whole, and... Oh! She appears to be a mathematical savant. I've tested her, and she is capable of mental advanced calculus. I can't even do that."

Eileen tapped her chin with a pencil. "Interesting..." Raising her voice to normal levels, she said "Okay, Robert, that'll do."

Sally turned away from the window, and bounced up to me. She smiled and closed her eyes, and said "I saw 152 people, Master!"

I scratched behind her ears. "Atta girl! Hey, Sally, I need you to stay here with Ms. Eileen today. She's going to ask you some questions, and I need you to cooperate with her, alright?"

Sally laid her ears back, and stared at me with mournful eyes. "You're leaving, Master?"

I couldn't help myself; I hugged her. "Only for a while, puppy. When I come back, we'll go home, and we'll wrestle again."

She brightened. "Okay, Master..."

I turned to go, and said "Have fun, girls." Eileen's pencil bounced off the back of my head.

I drove off to my building, and spent a fruitful day correcting some genetic defects in the Leonine genome. As the sun started to set, I drove back to the Behavioral Sciences building, and returned to Eileen's office. When I opened the door, both Sally and Eileen were laughing. Eileen was sitting in an overstuffed armchair, with a notepad. Sally was curled up on the traditional couch. When she saw me, Sally's eyes widened. "Master!" She bounded up, and knocked me over, and started licking my face. I knew better than to try to stop her, and just let her have her way. I was laying half in, half out of the doorway, and started getting some strange looks, so it was a relief when Sally finished her ablutions and started to curl up on top of me. I picked her up, and carried her to the couch. I set her down, and started scratching behind her ears. She crossed her eyes, and started rolling around, oblivious to anything me or Eileen said.

"So," I said to Eileen, "how'd it go?"

Eileen flipped through her notepad, and sighed. "Rob, I've got good news, bad news, and weird news. The good news is, she's not acting like a child. The bad news is, she's acting like an animal. She was never properly socialized, and from what I could glean, she spent most of her childhood in what she would only describe as 'a dark box'. The reason she acts the way she does is that she's pulling from instinct, not from rules of polite society. Tell the truth, it sounds like she was an experimental test subject. Have you considered running her genome through the D.A.W.G.I.?" (D.NA A.nalyzer W.ith G.enome I.nterpolation)

I frowned. "Mmm... I could. Yeah, I'll do that. And what's this 'weird news' you were talking about?"

Eileen grimaced. "Well, there's not really a delicate way to put this, but... Long story short, Sally thinks you're her mate."

Ever heard that it's impossible to swallow your tongue? Let me tell you, when Eileen said that, I gave it a good try. A good thirty seconds later, when I got my voice back, I said "Eileen, did you say what I think you just said?"

She nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. She does indeed think of you as her mate. When we were discussing you, whenever she didn't use the term 'Master', she referred to you as 'her alpha'. I don't think I need to tell you what that means."

My throat got dry. "So, the reason she sleeps with me at night, and the reason she loves to wrestle is..."

Eileen shrugged. "I hate to say it, but..."

I felt sick. All the time I'd tried not to take advantage of her, and all along she'd thought I was her mate. Suddenly, some of her actions took on a whole new light. I sat back, and Sally snuggled into my lap, and buried her face in my stomach. I started to stroke her head, but thought better of it.

Eileen saw my move, and said "What's the matter, Rob? Don't like Wildlians so much anymore?"

I shuddered. "No, no, it's not that... It's just, all the time I was hating myself for helping create Wildlians, the thing that burned me most the sexual slavery. It tore me up inside. And now, without even trying, I've accidently programmed this sweet girl to love me. I'm just as bad as..."

"Hush."

I looked up in surprise. Eileen had an odd look on her face. "Look, Rob, this girl hasn't been programmed, or anything. It's just that you're one of the few people that have ever shown her kindness. You should hear how she talks about you. I'm actually getting jealous. Look, you've used up most of your vacation days, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, then," she said, scribbling something on a piece of paper, "this'll fix that. Now, I don't want you back in this building until January 4th. Now get the heck out of here, and go have fun with your girl. Look, I would know; you were a halfway decent boyfriend. Give Sally a very merry Christmas."

I took the piece of paper; it was authorization for 'psychological leave', until Jan. 4th. I stammered "Wow, Eileen, this is..."

She got up, booted me off the couch, and pushed me out the door. "Go on, get, shoo! Now get that girl something nice, would you? I'd hate to have to call the funny farm for you."

The door slammed behind me, and I leaned against it for a second trying to digest what had just happened. I heard a scrabbling behind me, and the door opened to admit Sally. Eileen smirked. "Here, it's dangerous to go alone, take this." (If you get that, have an Internet cookie.)

Sally hugged me, and licked my ear. "That was fun, Master. Can we do that again some time?"

I tickled her ears, and she giggled. "Sure, puppy... For now, though, let's go home."

The ride home was uneventful (unless you count Sally swallowing a bug), and when we arrived home, I was still thinking about what Eileen had said. I unlocked the door, and stepped into Better Homes and Gardening. I guess I had always taken decent care of my house, but in my absence, someone had transformed it into something out of television. The floors gleamed, the shelves were organized and dust free, incense hung in the air, and soft ambient piano music played over the speakers. I stood, stunned, for a moment, trying to take it all in. Finally, I turned to Sally, and said "Uh, are we in the right house?"

"I would think so; it's not every house that comes with such a charming bastard en suite."

I looked up to see, wonder of wonders, Falin lying on a rafter overhead. He grinned down at us, and I took the opportunity to take several steps to the right. With a grunt, he jumped lightly to the ground, and brushed himself off. "I told you that I could get some work done without you around, didn't I? So, what do you think?"

I looked around again. "I think that I should ask where you took my real house."

Falin smirked. "That good, eh?"

I said "Good, hell, this is great! Hope you enjoyed it; I got off work from now until January 4th. Ever decorated for Christmas?"

Falin clapped once, and his eyes got a manic gleam in them. "Decorate for Christmas! Ohohoho... I think I'm going to like this."

Sally tugged on my hand, and I turned to her. "Master, what's Christmas?"

I debated for a moment whether to feed her the story of Santa, or to be honest about it. I decided on neither. "Christmas, Sally, is the time of year that people get together with their families and loved ones, and celebrate them and all the blessings they have. There's lots of lights, decorations, a Christmas tree, and everyone exchanges gifts. It's supposed to be the greatest holiday of all."

Sally's eyes got big, and she laid her ears back. I reached forward, and brought them forward again. "How does that sound, puppy?"

The next few days were madcap, let me tell you. Look, I love Sally, but she's borderline useless at putting up decorations. After I ended up suspended from my roof by a roll of icicle lights, I asked her to go amuse herself, and me and Falin carried on the work from there. Falin worked on the roof, since if he slipped and fell, he'd be alright. I, on the other hand, would instead become the Splat of Sacramento. I threw up extra rolls of lights for him, and worked on the lawn decorations, throwing up everything I had, and several things I had to buy. I guess that since I had a real family now, I had to adjust.

Soon, the outside was looking nice. I left Falin and Sally (who had been particularly absent for the past few days) to go buy a tree and *ahem* other stuff. When I came back, I set the tree down in the family room, and let Sally decorate it. It warmed my heart; she approached every task with childish glee, but this was something else, something deeper.

She hung baubles with care while I helped Falin string lights around the tree. It was precious to see the absolute determination on her adorable face as she debated where to place a particularly lovely decoration. Finally, I lifted her on my shoulders to let her place the star atop it. Unfortunately, after she did so, she leaned back too fast, and I lost my balance. I stepped backward quickly, while Sally pinwheeled her arms. Unfortunately, it was in vain. I toppled over backwards, Sally squealing all the way. Luckily for us, the couch was right there, so we ended up in more of a heap of fur and limbs than a heap of blood and broken bones.

Sally ended up with her back in my lap, and the top of her head resting on my chest. She laughed, and licked my chin. I scratched the underside of her muzzle, and she purred.

That day was Christmas Eve. I told Sally to run around in the back yard for a while, and took that opportunity to wrap up the presents. I figured that this was probably Falin and Sally's first Christmas, so I went all-out on gifts. Falin would be easy; good food, a few drinks, and a couple of good books would do for him. Sally, on the other hand, would be a smidge trickier. After I sent Sally to have a shower, I placed the presents under the tree. As I finished up and wiped my brow, my nose twitched. I detected a faint whiff of deliciousness upon the air. Following my nose to the kitchen, I saw, on the stove, the most succulent looking turkey I had ever seen. It was huge, and sat in a tray garnished with parsley, lemons, leeks, sage, and onions. Looking around for any hint of Falin, I tiptoed to the turkey, and began to work off a small bite.

About a second after I touched the turkey, a large knife sank up to the handle about an inch away from my thumb. I shrieked, and jerked my hand back. Falin, when I wasn't looking, had snuck up behind me, and nearly impaled my hand. He smirked at me. "Boss, it's very impolite to eat before everyone else."

I stared at him with wild eyes. "So's stabbing your host!"

Falin pulled the knife out and licked the blade. (Is this a good time to tell you Falin's scary? 'Cause he's really f****** scary.) "Oh, don't get your undies in a bunch. I didn't actually stab you, did I? Mmm... Needs to cook some more." Slipping on some oven mitts, he transferred the turkey to the oven.

I left Falin to his work, and went to check on Sally. I'd made it halfway through the upstairs hallway before I was pounced by a blur of damp fur. Sally lay on top of me, licking my face. I should also point out that she was completely naked. I blushed, and said "Uh, Sally, don't you think you should put on some clothes?"

She made a negative noise deep in her throat, and continued to nuzzle me. I tried desperately to think of something, anything, mundane until she rolled off me and trotted off to get some clothes. I stood up, brushed off some water, and went back downstairs.

It was beginning to get dark out, and when I saw the living room, with its Christmas tree and roaring fireplace, I decided to make some memories. I turned off all the lights and sat down on the couch, watching the flames. After a minute or so, Sally hopped up on the couch next to me, and snuggled deeply into my side. I put my arm around her, and started scratching her stomach. She rolled onto her back and dug the top of her head into my stomach, squeezing her eyes shut and purring like a motorboat.

It was pretty dang good already, and when Falin brought in a tray of turkey and bread, I began to wonder if I was living in a Christmas special. Evidently I was, as the turkey was the best turkey I have had in my entire life. Sally refused to sit up, and I contented myself with just feeding her from my plate. Falin got himself a tray as well, and sat near the fireplace, evidently enjoying the heat. I switched my hand to scratching the underside of Sally's muzzle, and she sighed; a soft, delicate sound that just sent warm fuzzies streaming through my heart. As I munched absent-mindedly on a piece of turkey, I thought to myself.

Yeah, it's not a family in the traditional sense of the word, but what is family anyway? Right now, I'm holding someone I love, eating great food, and I'm surrounded by the people I care most about in the world.

I shoved the thought from my head, and lay back, closing my eyes to the warm glow of the fire. Ah, screw it. Technicalities, technicalities.