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Tick...tick....tick...tick.....

That sound. So small. Yet, over time, enough to drive me crazy. As I walked the halls of the great house, not a single sound. Silence, utter and complete. Well, other than the sound of my nail, clicking against the marble floor.

It didn't start out that way. I just wanted, no NEEDED, to get away. The great Furry fad of the early twenty first century had hit, and there I was, riding the crest of a wave of popularity. I have to admit, I enjoyed it at first. The book signings, the TV talk circuit, the guest appearances. It was great; to become a bit of a minor celebrity. Even got to be a guest judge on 'Celebrity Idol'. Somewhere along the way, it turned. Slowly at first, but it turned. It stopped being fun. Then, it turned to work.

I did what any writer would do. I turned to my work. I wrote. Up at dawn, like a fox possessed, I wrote, day and night. Those were some of my most productive years. 'Tina', my original project was picked for a feature film. Then, there was a movie. The whole celebrity thing started all over again. This time, I wanted no part of it. I fled. I was locked away. The more I claimed my privacy the more they hunted me down. I was the fox, and they were the hounds. The hounds never give up. I needed a way to take back my privacy. So, I sold everything, packed up, and moved as far away as I possibly could. To India. I mean, it made sense. It was far away, no one knew me, and my money went far. REALLY far. So far, that I built my own little Taj Mahal. Not exactly like the original, but close. All white marble, columns, and a dome. A guilded dome. All set on it's own island, in the middle of a lagoon. It's unreachable except by boat. It took two years to build. The day came to move in, and I knew that I had made a mistake. The first time I walked down the hall, and I heard my nails clicking the bare stone, I felt more alone than I ever felt. But, I was committed. I moved in.

That was five years ago. I'm still here. Of course, I'm not totally alone. There are groundskeepers, a maid who cleans, even a guy who ferries me back and forth on the boat. They come, they do what they're paid to do, they leave. We never talk. The boredom, the lonliness was becoming unbearable. So, I decided to get an assistant. Someone who'd come in, and help me with my work. Someone that I could talk to, interact with. Someone to break the awful silence. I called the agency that supplies the other workers here, and, in a day or two they had a candidate. They sent her over. It was about one p.m., when I looked up from my desk, to see the boatman tying off. Moments later, he showed her to the door. I looked her over. She was a white canine hybrid, maybe a Poodle, or Poodle mix. Her tail was a plume type, though. Very un Poodle like. She had big, sleepy eyes, and wore a long, red scarf.

"Apaka nama kya hai? (What's your name?) I asked

"Mera nama hai Visvasa, Visvasa Singh" (My name is Faith, Faith Singh.....) She replied

"aura maim Angreji balate haim." (and I speak English)

I had to laugh.

"Is my Hindi that bad?" I chuckled, liking her immediately.

"No, not at all. The agency informed me that you're an American. I just thought it might be more comfortable for you."

"Then English it is, if that's OK."

"Perfectly. We learn Englisg from an early age. It's almost second nature...."

"Tell me, where did you go to school?"

"My parents sent me abroad. England."

"So, that explains it....."

I took her on a tour of the house. By now I was certain that I would hire her. In fact, she put down her bag, and got right to work. I had her take dictation, do a little proofreading, type a little correspondence. When she had to leave, at around six, I was sorry to see her go. Visvasa'a presense changed everything I looked forward to her arrival each morning. She helped me in any number of ways. My new book project was really on track, for the first time in months. But, she was more than just a secretary. Most days, she would fix us lunch. Sometimes, she would eat with me, at my desk. She started putting fresh flowers in my office each morning. When I'd see them, I would think of her, and smile. One day, I was doing text for a comic, when she came up behind me.

"What's that?" she asked, leaning on my shoulder.

"It's a new comic. It's called 'Sex Club'" I replied

She gave me a playful shove.

"You're a bad boy!" then, she laughed.

Her laugh melted my heart. Everything I hoped for, yearned for, was there in her laugh. That night, I replayed that laugh in my dreams, over and over.

There were many more afternoons like that. So much so, I lost track of time. One day, I came in to my office, to see a Christmas tree there.

"What's that?" I asked

"It's a Christmas tree, of course. I figured you were too busy to put it up. "

"What made you think I celebrate Christmas?" I countered.

"That was a clue"

She pointed at the handmade cross I had around my neck.

I must have looked more disapproving than I thought, because she backtracked quickly.

"I can take it down. I mean, if it bothers you....."

I am Christian, but I don't celebrate Christmas. Haven't for years. It's just something in my past. I won't bore you with the details. Still, I didn't want to offend Visvasa.

"No, it's OK. Nice, really." I replied, feigning a bit of enthusiasm.

"Gray? Would it be OK if I leave now?" she asked, nervously

"Is something wrong?" I asked

"No, it's just....it's Christmas Eve....."

I hadn't even realized. I was so caught up in the project, I hadn't paid attention. Nor, did I know that SHE was Christian. It was India; while Christians aren't rare, they aren't the rule, either. This time, I replied quickly.

"Where is my head? No, Go home, be with your family; I'll see you after the Holidays....."

When Visvasa left, all the light left the room. I worked on, not out of need, but because work allowed me the luxury of not thinking. Worked carried me through a few additional hours. Sooner or later, the need to sleep became inevitable. So, I faced it, as I always did. I had a few drinks. Then, I took some pills. I went to bed just as I was on the verge of passing out.

There aren't many things that scare me. I packed up, and moved to India without a second thought. Sitting alone, awake in bed does something to me. When I am alone and awake, my mind is filled by dark, unwelcome, thoughts. The only answer is to beat them into submission. The combination of drink and drugs worked. There would be no panic attack tonight. I slipped into sleep in a mercifully short time. Sadly, though, the respite was not to last.

At about three a.m., I awoke with a start. I looked up, and saw a shadowy figure sitting at the foot of my bed. Reaching for my glasses, I turned on the light. There, on the bed with me, was a small fox. A fennec fox, judging by his ears. He was dressed in leather and Ermine, a bulky sack slung from his shoulder. He seemed to ignore me, focused instead on relighting the small pipe clamped tightly in his jaw.

"Who are you?" I demanded "and how did you get in here?"

"Doesn't matter" he replied, calmly, his pipe finally relit.

"Why are you here?"

He leaned back, seeming to finally reflect on my question.

"I have something to show you."

Having said what he had to say, his glance turned away. I followed his glance. It was then that I saw the vision. It was a female, a beautiful, young one. She was standing over a bed, a child's bed.

"What is it? The child....she is not well....."

"Dying." The fox responded.

The woman was crying. I became angry.

"What God would allow such a thing to happen! Such pain.....She is so sad...."

The fox looked my way.

"God has nothing to do with it. God has left plenty for everyone. It is man who hoards, and keeps more than his share."

By now, I was desperate to help the child.

"Are you an angel? Then, help the child! Don't let her die....."

Now, my companion looked toward me with great sadness.

"No, I am not an Angel. And God cannot help her. But....YOU can. All the child needs is ordinary medical care. An operation that will save her life."

"Then, why doesn't her mother get it for her? How could she not?" I stammered

The fox shook his head.

"It is not that she won't- it's that she can't. Operations, medical care cost money. Money she doesn't have."

"Surely, there is insurance....." I said, hopefully.

Again, he shook his head. It was then that I grabbed the little fox by his shoulders.

"Then I will see that she is cared for! Take me to her! Show me the way, fox!"

By the time I was finished speaking, I was up getting dressed. I threw on some clothes, and implored the fox to take me to them. We went down to the boat, and the fox took the helm. The lagoon was a shallow one, and the boat was propelled by a pole, that pushed the boat along. Riding in silence, I was taken by the beauty of the night. Seldom was I out by night. I can't say that I ever saw the sky from the lagoon when the stars were out. It was spectacular. It was almost disappointing when we reached the shore. Still, I understood that we had a long trip still ahead of us. The fox seemed to struggle under the burden of his bag. I asked if I could take it for him.

"No" he answered. "It is my burden alone."

I found his answer curious. It struck me that I really didn't know much about this visitor in the night.

"What do you mean by that? If, you are not an angel, then what is it that you are?"

We walked some ways before he answered.

"There is more to the next life.....more than just what you call Heaven or Hell. There are those for whom there is a place in neither. I am one of those......."

I tried to understand what I was being told.

"So, you passed on, but faced neither paradise, nor damnation?"

"At least, not at this point. Sooner or later, perhaps. But not now."

"Then does that have to do with why you're here?"

He nodded.

"I was afforded....an opportunity. A chance, as it were. One more shot at making amends."

"The bag you carry...."

"My burden. That is why no one but I may carry it. In it are all off my sins and transgressions. Each time I make amends, one more transgression is lifted."

"So, I'm one of your projects." I asked.

At long last, the little fox finally smiled.

"Yes. In reality, you're my first. So, I'm rather hoping it goes well."

By now, I was almost feeling at home with my companion.

"So, fox, if you are neither angel nor demon, what should I call you?"

"Ernie"

"Ernie?"

"Actually, it was Ernest, but it's always been Ernie."

"Well, Ernie, this 'deal' you're in; who explained it to you?"

"Management."

" Management? Do you mean....."

"TOP management..." he assured.

We walked for many miles, as my home was far from anything. We reached the edge of the city an hour or so before dawn. We walked through the silence of the still sleeping metropolis. The filth and decay of the slums that ringed the city were still shrouded in darkness. It was so peaceful, so silent. Occasionally, the quiet would be broken by a cat disturbed in it's hunt, or by far away voices. After many hours, the fox motioned me down a narrow alley. The buildings there were made of cinderblock, with roofs of tin sheet. There was no door, only a sheet nailed over the doorway. He motioned me to follow, which I did. There was no light in the tiny dwelling, save a single one, in a back room.

Once I was in the room, I recognized the scene that I saw in my bedroom. The woman was the woman, the child, the same one I had seen. She was keeping vigil over the child as she slept. Looking at her face in the light, I realized that the women standing vigil was Visvasa, my assistant. The tiny white infant was clearly her daughter. I walked up behind her, and put my hands on her shoulders.

"She's beautiful" I said

She put her hand on mine, but did not speak.

"Why....didn't you tell me? I would have helped...."

You see, the mother was Visvasa; the child, her daughter. As lovely as Visvasa was, her daughter was just...perfect. A tiny china doll, all in pure white. She awoke, and looked up at me, smiling.

"May I hold her?" I asked, nervously

She picked her up, and lay her in my arms. She just looked up at me, with that wonderful smile. I held her until she was sleeping once again, before I reluctantly returned her to bed. We then returned to the outer room. I was beside my self with worry; I just knew I had to do something, anything. I went back to the sleeping child. I removed a small, handmade cross I wore around my neck. Over the child's bed, there was a picture of the Blessed Virgin. I hung the cross from the picture. Her mother watched from the outer room. There were tears in both of our eyes.

"Gray? May I ask you a question?"

I looked at her, and nodded, not knowing what she would ask.

"When I'm around you, I sense that you are a spiritual person. You wear a cross. Yet, you avoid religion, especially Christmas. It almost seems to bother you. Why?"

I leaned against the cinderblock wall. I didn't answer right away. Truth is, I was deciding whether to answer at all. Still, there was something urging me on. Perhaps I was understanding that if I didn't take this opportunity, another one might not come along.

"I was married. I had a daughter." I stopped, not sure where to go.

"And....."

"I lost them."

"I'm sorry, Gray. May I ask......."

"It was Christmas Eve. My wife wanted me to go out with them. I was working, so I sent them off. They.....never made it back. Ever since, I've relived that decision. If I had gone, I might have saved them. Or, maybe I would have died with them. At least we would have been together."

I was crying. Visvasa comforted me.

"I'm sorry; I should have known...."

"That was the first time I've spoken of it since......but, you don't need to be spending time with me. It's almost Christmas. I went into my pocket. I always carried cash. Ever since I'd been a poor kid, I carried cash. Maybe a few thousand dollars American. It seems silly, but it was my security blanket. I took the roll of bills from my pocket, wrapped in rubber bands and handed it to her.

"Here. Take this. Get her wonderful gifts. I'm going back and set up the best treatment that money can buy. Merry Christmas...."

I rushed outside before the tears really started to fall. It was then that I realized that it was Christmas Day. The sun was coming up, in orange glory. I also realized that I had lost my little friend.

"that was sweet...touching even."

The little fox was leaning against a wall.

"I thought you'd gone"

"Naw. Just thought you could use some space."

The fox started to walk away. I heard bells in the distance. I smiled.

"So, did you earn your wings?" I joked.

"Doesn't work that way. I've got to do one of these for every time I screwed up. It will be a while."

I looked at his sack, now realizing what his burden was. It would be a while.

"Can I at least buy you a Christmas drink?"

"Gonna be tough, since you jusy gave all of your money away."

"Oh. Yeah." I admitted sheepishly

"Never mind. I've got it."

We walked toward town.

"You know, I never asked you how you ended up in this fix......."

The little foxes' eyes lit up.

"Aye, now there's a story! I was on this Spanish merchant ship. One night, at this brothel in Thailand......."

This story is dedicated to Mason. Grandpa's first story for you.