FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"Was there a plague or something? Seems like everyone's dying these days."

Lapis rolled his right shoulder, massaging his muscles as the jackal tried to work out an ache. "That last one had two solid gold statues of Horus. Two of them! Both taller than me. Almost threw out my back."

"Must be a big fan," said Lazuli, sipping from his bronze cup of pomegranate juice. "My last guy had 5 big chests of jewelry. All gold, of course."

"They must be going through a prosperous phase up there. They know gold doesn't mean anything in A'Aru, right?"

Lazuli shrugged. "Sentimental value, maybe."

The light of the Duat's sun poured in through the breakhouse windows as the jackal brothers sat down for a well-deserved rest. The room bustled with conversation from a dozen underworld porters, tasked with loading the belongings of the hopeful dead onto vessels destined for the Field of Reeds.

"What I don't get is how all these rich people keep passing the scales," Lapis complained. "How can so many greedy people's hearts be lighter than Maat's feather?"

"I heard the Book of the Dead has a spell in it that can lighten them. They carve it on their scarab hearts."

"That shouldn't be allowed!"

Lazuli smiled, chuckling at his brother's frustration. "You can file a complaint with dad later, how about that?"

Lapis rolled his eyes. "I want to go home."

The jackal brothers continued chatting over their lunch hour, shifting their conversation to Anubis's fatherly shortcomings and his desire that they "work their way up in the family business" and "learn the benefits of hard work". Lapis hadn't stopped complaining about it since his first day at the field gate, but Lazuli found himself rather enjoying the job.

Better than being bored, even in paradise, he thought.

Finishing his third smoked fish, Lapis rose from his seat, groaning from the muscle strain. "Alright, back to it then. Damn."

Lazuli nodded, gathering his trash.

A bell rang out in the distance, sending a low and ominous tone across the underworld that vibrated Lazuli's bones and seemed to shake the walls. Dread washed over both jackals as they looked toward the sun.

"Oh no," Lapis muttered as the sound dissipated.

Every porter in the room burst into motion at once, chairs scuffing and utensils clattering on the wooden floor as they scrambled for the door. The porters cursed and tripped over one another as they funneled out into the Duat.

Lapis and Lazuli stared at the door, briefly considering how they could get out of this situation. A passing cat noticed their hesitation.

"Didn't you hear the bell?!" the cat said, his voice urgent. "The pharaoh's dead! He needs his boat loaded so he can pass through the gates."

"Another pharaoh? Really?" Lapis groaned, paw to face. "That's the third one this year!"

"Probably a power struggle up there. C'mon!"

Abandoning their trash on the table, Lapis and Lazuli followed the cat outside. The midday sun beat down its white light upon the Duat, as if determined to give the porters heat stroke at the worst possible time. Their paws dug into the sand as they ran across the beaches toward the royal docks. Turning the corner of the palm forest, the jackals stopped in their tracks.

Piles upon piles of glittering gold awaited them on the docks. It sparkled in the white sun, blinding them with reflected rays that forced the jackals to shield their eyes with their paws. Statues, chests, and the wrapped bodies of dozens of servants piled high next to an exquisite solar barque. Porters began to load the Pharaoh's plentiful treasures onto the ship.

"Osiris's missing dick!" Lapis cursed. "That's way more stuff than the last one."

"Quit complaining. Come on!" Lazuli ran forward and joined in on the bustle, grabbing a massive jar that overflowed with honey and stuck to his paws. He hoisted it up one of the gangways as Lapis followed behind, muttering to himself, carrying a mummified pet cat across his shoulder like a sack of grain.

A head porter directed them to each item's designated spot. Gold was evenly distributed around the boat's edges. Dead bodies were stored in the cabin. Perfumes, foods, and miscellaneous items went to the stern. The boat filled up as the dozen porters scrambled to get the job done in a rush customary for appeasing a dead monarch.

"They didn't bury him with a big enough boat..." Lazuli muttered as he looked at the heaping treasure along the boat's edges. Piles of gold and coin grew higher than the boat's railings, in danger of falling into the waters.

The brothers hoisted the body of an annoyingly heavy servant onto the corpse pile in the cabin. Lapis looked up to the sky with a quick frustrated breath before running back onto a gangway.

But Lazuli stayed behind. He stepped to the edge of the boat and peered into the depths. The water was only half a cubit away from the ship's edge.

"Oh no." Lazuli stumbled back and ran to the head porter at the boat's center, saluting. "Ma'am, the load is too heavy for the boat. The water's..."

"What are you doing? Get back to work!" the crocodile scolded.

"But the boat's too small! It's going to--"

"You and your brother get the Pharaoh's sarcophagus and set it at the front. Now."

Lazuli blinked, forgetting the water's impending peril. "You want us to carry the pharaoh?"

"Did I stutter?" said the head porter, tapping Lazuli on the side of the head. "Get moving!"

Lazuli opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it. He nodded and took off to the gangway where his brother carried a pot of perfume in both paws. Lapis yelped in surprise as Lazuli jumped onto the gangway, jostling the whole bridge. The perfume pot fell from his Lapis's paws and crashed into the water below. The spilled fragrance filled the air with the scent of flowers as it sunk into the river.

The brothers looked at each other. Both surveyed their surroundings. If anyone had seen it, they didn't seem to care.

"It never happened."

"Right."

The two made their way off the gangway toward the pharaoh's opulent sarcophagus. The extravagant golden likeness of the royal man stared up vacantly with painted green eyes, not a care in the world.

"Okay. We got this," Lapis said, reassuring himself and limbering up.

Lazuli rubbed his paws together. He bent down to grab the bottom edge.

"Lift with your knees."

"I know, damnit."

The two groaned as they lifted the unreasonably heavy thing, summoning the above-average strength granted by their divinity. Still, Lazuli's muscles chastising him for his hubris. They stepped carefully toward the boat. Lazuli walked backward, nearly tripping at every other step.

"My hands are slipping."

"Don't you dare!"

Having made it onto the boat, the head porter yelled at them to stand the sarcophagus up at the front platform so it would face the ship's bow. The brothers grit their teeth, grunting with each step as they reached the designated spot and heaved the thing up to its symbolic position. They both steadied themselves against the sarcophagus to catch their breath as porters continued rushing treasures onto the ship.

Lazuli looked toward the edge of the boat. The water splashed in with each jostle of the ship, but the porters had almost finished loading everything. Perhaps the ship would hold after all.

"Someone's gotta set a limit for how heavy these things get to be," said Lapis. He knocked his paw against the sarcophagus, banging it like a drum.

The cover of the sarcophagus fell open and slammed into the bow, causing the whole ship to tip forward. The mummy of the pharaoh careened to the deck with a sickening thud. Every porter on the ship jumped, ears perked, staring at the jackals in horror.

"Oh come on!" Lapis yelled to the clouds. "Help me with this guy."

Lazuli bent down, a shiver rushing through his fur, tail shaking as they lifted the pharaoh back into his sarcophagus. Behind them, the head porter yelled something furiously incoherent. They leaned the mummy into coffin then tried to heave the heavy cover back in place.

Lazuli's paws slipped.

The cover slammed against the sarcophagus. Top-heavy, the entire coffin leaned back and crashed into the floor of the boat. A horrible smash accompanied the cracking of timbers as the sarcophagus plowed right through the wood and into the water. It sunk like a stone, carrying the pharaoh to the depths, the sarcophagus's golden face slipping into the shadows.

The ship began to sink. Lapis and Lazuli stared in disbelief at the massive hole in the boat, questioning their life choices as water pooled around their paws.

"Wanna go down with the ship?" Lapis asked.

Lazuli glared at his brother as the rest of the porters scrambled up the gangways, which fell into the water as the ship sank. Others jumped into the river to swim to shore, shouting and cursing. The brothers simply stood in place until the boat finished sinking out from under them. They tread water as the ship, with all its worldly treasures, sunk into the abyss.

Wordlessly, they let the river carry them far away in its swift current, staring with unblinking gazes into the distance. The river deposited them on a bank where they lay on their backs and faced the sky as the blazing white sun dried their fur.

"So uh...you wanna go home now too?"

Lazuli nodded.