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>>>>[[[NOTE: DAY 26](/?page=%5B%5BNOTE%3A_DAY_26)]]<<<<

"And that's how I came to request you," I said around another muzzle-full of steak the next morning.

"Sounds like you demanded my presence, little tod," said Burt with a flat-toothed grin of his own.

I stuck my fork into some pancake, grinning at the black bull in front of me. Shadow and I had joined the four familiar furs from the FurShoper in the community room. Brynn couldn't stop grinning, and neither could Shadow, while he wolfed down food. The three other Listeners were at a far table, whispering among themselves and giving us unsubtle stares.

"Just how safe is this place?" asked Michelle, hefting up her nursing calf. "I don't mind the orca, but that feather keeps staring at little Margaret. He's making me nervous."

"Actually, that's Galena. A female," I said.

"I don't know if I can trust any feather around my calf," Michelle admitted. "Otherwise, it seems a lot safer here than on the surface. Thanks for getting us here, Tyler."

"Huh. Wait 'till you see how huuuge the rooms are," I said, rolling my eyes.

"They're not?" asked Burt. "Me and my wife, we're not small furs. With the four of us, we're going to need a lot of room."

"Brynn can stay with us tonight," said Shadow around his wolfing muzzle. "Right, Tyler?"

"Of course!" I said. "Um... we'll have to find a floor-pad or cot for her. You okay with that Brynn?"

Brynn looked up shyly and nodded her little head.

"Great. More room for my fat ass," chuckled Michelle. "That little one has been moping around the Camp since she was separated from you two. Grown so attached, she'd hardly eat. Not that there was much to eat in the camp. Ugh."

I swallowed my bite and frowned. A vague sense of guilt formed in my gut. "Is it that bad out there?"

Burt groaned. "It's worse than I thought it would be after only weeks without reliable power, food, and fun. Throw in the Curtain, and it's like everyone's losing their minds out there."

"I should figure out if I can be of help here, and fast," I said feeling the weight of obligation and guilt sink deeper.

"Sounds like it," said Cade, clomping up on his big hooves. "I've stuck my neck out, pup. And so has Lisa."

"Lisa?" I asked, wracking my brain.

"She's the military doe. The civilian liaison and manager here. You met her on entry," Cade said with a frown.

"Oh!" I said, feeling the weight of guilt turn into a pang. "I didn't know she has."

Cade's frown deepened. "Of course someone had to risk their neck, to get your friends here. There's whispers in the ranks about unfairness though. Everyone has someone they want down here in safety. So make this count, got it, pup?"

"Got it." I turned to Burt. "So can I... 'hire' you to be my guard while you're here?"

"Hey," said Burt. "If it keeps my family safe, I'm in. I'm counting you pups in that number too, you know."

I found my grin, and it released onto my muzzle. "Of course, Papa Burt."

"Got that right," Burt said with a sharp nod. "Now I'm going for seconds at the buffet. I'll be back."

I watched the wide, bovine back move away. "So what's the news from outside?" I asked Michelle.

She petted little Margaret's belly while the calf nursed. "Well... let's see. McStanz went off to find more survivors. Major Jekkers gives updates and 'inspiring messages' in the mornings. Oh! Helaina, Peter, and Michael have been made to clean the outhouses twice a week. Punishment for what they did."

"That's it?" I griped, my jaw hanging open while Shadow groaned with annoyance.

Michelle smiled at her happy daughter. "Well, those bathrooms are disgusting and sometimes overflow. I suppose it's 'cause there's not much proof of stuff they did, or even a justice system to enforce punishments. Just Major Jekkers, and he has a lot more than them on his plate."

I plopped my head on my paws, supported by rude elbows on the table. "Well that sucks. They deserve so much more."

Michelle looked up from little Margaret's feeding. "Tyler, everyone's struggling. I know you want them to face consequences, but furs are all going through a lot of punishment just getting through each day."

"Well, maybe I'll be happy they have to face the Curtain every day," I said with a disappointed growl. Where was the justice in all this?

Cade came thumping up with a returning Burt. The black bull came looking disappointed and without another food tray. Kedders stalked behind, looking as grumpy as ever.

"Best be prepared, pup," Cade said. "These guys are looking for a return on their investment. Best go with Kedders."

"Off to work then," I said with a smirk to my Wulf. "Coming?"

Shadow grinned and nodded, grabbing his backpack from by his footpaws. Burt said his goodbyes to his little family, and Shadow exchanged high-fives with Brynn.

I spoke to the grumpy fox. "What's in store for today?"

Cade grinned, speaking before the fox had a chance to ignore me, "Lisa has a few things planned. After that, you're up against the Event for a major test."

I felt my grin vanish from my tense muzzle, even as I tried to cling to the happy feelings. I'd face the Curtain again and again, however many times these furs wanted to test things. Oh wonderful.

***

I tried not to fidget on the gray, plastic chair. The last test was a bunch of writing, and some kind of intelligence screening. I was again in the first testing room, along with a lot of new equipment. Tehma stood at a monitoring station, with technology I didn't recognize. With Burt, Cade, and Shadow all lingering to guarantee my fair and safe treatment, the wombat placing the sensors all over my nearly-nude body seemed nervous.

"They're like bullies, looking for a weakness," the wombat griped.

"Maybe to you, but I know they're admiring my plumage," said Galena, the finer feathers along her nape fluffing up. "Pay attention! That node needs to be re-placed just to the left."

"I know," Moore snapped at her, his beady eyes narrowing. His little face came close to my side, examining a sensor's new placement.

I shivered under their combined focus, not used to it from anyone but Shadow. Before Shadow... no one.

"I've been wondering about your genetics," Galena said with a thoughtful click of her beak. "Anything in your ancestry which might be of interest? Subspecies marriage? A little incest?"

I stared at her. I didn't know, and the thought of having to ask Mr. Evans turned my stomach.

"The blue eyes are an interesting feature," mused Moore. The wombat frowned up at me. "You know, we have a mostly blind cheetah, a nearsighted porcupine, and some random rabbit. They're all young. Could hearing acuity-"

"No more time." Galena snapped her sharp beak and twitched her long-feathered tail. "The Event Light approaches. It will soon be upon us, and we have little remaining time. Finish up, fur."

Moore straightened his smallish stature. "I'll have you know: I. Am. Marsupial. How many times must I remind you!?"

"Shut it and get ready. We have less and less time with all your wandering thoughts."

"And less time with all your preening!"

The two continued to snap at each other while they separated to different stations. I turned to Tehma, who had watched the exchange with some expression I couldn't decipher.

Cade, Shadow, and Burt were speaking in low voices, but kept their distance. Having them close helped soothe my nerves. Shadow would jump in at any sign of my distress, even if he left behind his backpack. Cade would back him up, and Burt would control the situation around us with his police experience.

I relaxed back into the chair, trying not to jostle any of the varied sensors all over my body. Being in only my underwear was awkward enough in front of so many strangers, but I felt safer than ever.

Tehma approached my chair for one last check. The big fin's presence was understated for his large size.

"Do you understand what we're doing, young fur?" he asked in his deep, deep voice.

"I think so?" I replied. "I'm to whistle out during the Curtain, the tune I hear in my head, right?"

"Yes. We'll attempt to match the frequencies you perceive with what we detect from the Event. You wouldn't feel so much of the Event this deep down, but we're putting these headphones on you, so you can experience some of the Event without danger. It has vibrations pads which will transfer other frequencies to your skull, along with a few nodes to other parts of your body. Close your eyes so your vision won't throw off the results. It's up to you to let us know anything new you experience. Got all that?"

Anything new? I nodded, steeling myself to admit aloud. "Yes, Tehma. Actually the last time-"

"No time, fur. Tell me after." Tehma wove between the cords and readers, being mindful of his thick tail. He smiled encouragement from his original station at the strange technology.

Was that fin tech? Wow. What was it for, and how did it differ from the-?

The Curtain. I could tell it was coming. I shivered as everyone called to each other around the room. No one was sitting or lying down. Was it so safe down here, they could ignore the Curtain and go about their business!? How amazing and precious was it to-

"Close your eyes, Tyler," called Tehma. "Keep them closed. Whistle, if you would, please."

I nodded and closed my eyes, beginning my whistle seconds before the Curtain dropped... again. It dropped, and I could feel it, sense it, through my terror. I focused on my whistling, noticing the tune in my head grow loud from the tech, blocking other sounds. I whistled and whistled, feeling the rising sense of the Curtain in all its horrors.

But it was different. Muted. Not as vile or as invasive. My body vibrated with everything, my whistle continued, though I couldn't hear myself any more.

It still searched for me, found me in the masses of vibrations. In the mass of light and vibration and mountain above me, I could feel it find me, its discovery of me.

???

It was a sense. A question. But it... wasn't mine.

And the renewed horror smashed into me. It was a thing, a mind! I struggled to keep whistling, but could feel my lips tense into a reflexive snarl. The vibrations settled into me, finally finding invasion into me.

I felt IT.

IT was coming into me, trying to discover me, even as I tried to sense anything about IT.

!!!

And IT found something. My body was shaking, and I couldn't move. IT was through me, in me, out me.

I snapped open my eyes, gulping on a scream which wouldn't come out. I ripped off the sensors to my left side, ripped them from my right. I flung anything and everything away from me, finding myself kneeling on the floor, panting and shaking in Shadow's arms.

Everyone was yelling something. I couldn't understand any of it. None of it. Didn't want to understand. I wanted to wash out my brain, my body, all of me. The Curtain might not have killed me, might not have knocked away my consciousness, but I felt damaged, ruined.

"No! No! No! Stop! Please!"

It was coming from my muzzle, coming from me, an embarrassing babble of begging. It didn't matter. I didn't want it, didn't care.

Shadow gathered me up, carrying me past yelling furs, an excited feather, and an unreadable fin. He hurried me out of the room, and down the hall, ignoring the multiple stomps behind us.

I couldn't understand any of it. My brain was in full panic-mode. I hyperventilated, clutching onto Shadow. Then I struggled out of his arms, to hunch over against the gray wall of the gray hallway, puking what remained in my stomach. I couldn't stop heaving and crying out.

The hallway slipped, even as Shadow tried to keep me upright. Bright blackness merged from the edge of my vision, quickly taking everything away from me.

***

"No!" I screamed, snapping awake in an unknown bed in an unknown white room. Shadow was there, holding my paw. "Shadow! Shadow!" I babbled in his arms, and he murmured in my ear soothing words.

A voice accompanied paws, examining me as Shadow's body withdrew to a single paw holding mine. I didn't need the fur's soothing words, I needed my mate. I clung to him until my shaking slowed.

"Feel better, pup?" asked an unknown voice. I looked up at a lion, a female I'd never seen before.

"Yeah. Who-?" I started with a cringing shiver, looking around.

It was a relief to have a white room, rather than a gray one, but it's small space was crammed with medical equipment. Just me, Shadow, his backpack, and the lion occupied the limited floorspace.

The female smiled, but I knew not to trust smiles. "I'm the lead doctor here, Dr. Floyd. You're in the medical wing. You gave everyone a scare with your panic attack."

"Like a regular doctor?" I asked with heavy suspicion.

"Yes," she chuckled, though her tail gave a hard twitch. "I don't do any experiments. I'm here to help everyone get better and stay well."

"Thank the furry heavens," I muttered, relaxing back into the pillow. Finally someone who wasn't about to poke me for-

"But I do need to draw some blood," she said. "I need to see how your body is doing after all you've been through these last weeks. Think you can sit up?"

I nodded with a sigh, sitting up and offering my arm. Not like I really had a choice.

I would protect those dear to me. In extension, I could try to protect others, like Howard and even Sanway. By further extension, if I could make a difference, I might affect the better safety of more and more and more furs.

I was strong, strong as any fur. I'd been through my own hardships. I'd fight my own battles - with help of my allies of course. I might want to fight, but I didn't have to fight alone.

The needle pulled out of my arm. Guess I was preoccupied. Dr. Floyd taped the spot down with a little gauze.

"There we go. How do you feel?"

"Better," I admitted.

"Good." Dr. Floyd stood. "Take the time you need here, then you can hang out in the Playroom with the others."

"Playroom?" I asked.

She smiled. "It's what we call the room the Listeners wait in during the day. All of them have been young. Sad that this thing seems to target the young harder than the old, you know?"

"Does it?" I asked. I wriggled my toes, feeling I might be good enough to stand.

"Yes, but that's a story for another day. Looks like Mr. Kedders is here for you and your wolf friend."

I looked over her shoulder, and there was Kedders, confronting a very protective bull at the door to the white room. Shadow slipped on his backpack and helped me rise. Kedders had a hard an angry stare towards me, but Burt wasn't letting him by.

While I felt a little unsteady, the longer I was upright, the better I felt. I'd never felt so good after a Curtain, minus the panic. I still felt a little gross, but it was far better than before. My mind skirted what had happened while Shadow and I left the little white room.

"You don't need a few more minutes, pup?" asked Burt with heavy concern, leading the way out of the medical suite of rooms. "This big fox can wait, you know."

I followed, waving a paw vaguely. "It's okay. I feel a lot better. Curtain's so easy down here, right?"

Burt grinned, stepping into the elevator and gesturing us in. "I heard Michelle calmed Brynn, and they didn't notice it passing at all. Little Margaret slept through it. I only noticed it because they were all talking about it. Seemed pretty excited, with all your whistling and whatever they could detect."

Whatever they could detect....

I straightened. "Burt. The Curtain. It's...."

Burt's eyebrows raised. He looked open but happy, so very happy.

How could I explain it to him? The sense there was a thing. There was IT in the Curtain. I didn't know what IT was, what made IT exist, but the thing had a mind!

I shook my head. "It was a lot better wasn't it? Sorry I panicked, Burt."

"It's alright, pup. Those scientists didn't seem bothered. I'm sure they're glued to whatever results you've given them."

I shivered, leaving the elevator with Shadow at my heels. What could they tell about me? They couldn't read thoughts; no such technology existed, right? But did the detect the thing in the Curtain? Could they discover IT among the various readings, separating IT out from me? Or was I going crazy?

The gray halls turned and turned again, The guard at the Playroom door opened it.

"Look who it is. It's the golden fox," said Daisy with a pretty-bunny chuckle.

I frowned. I wasn't golden....

"Cursed fox, if you ask me," said Pekkins, his spiny hide shifting in his chair, his eyes hard. "At least they'll focus on you for a while, and I'll get to play games all day."

He nodded with interest at the screen in the far corner, all set up with four controllers. Four? They'd mentioned another Listener lost....

Before I could ask, Kedders was griping. "Can't you three do something productive?"

"Dude. It's called the Playroom for a reason," said the cheetah, Terri, looking in our general direction. "Give us a break. Working with the Event is hard enough."

"More like 'tainted' by the Event." The grumpy fox spat to the side before leaving, tail stiff and eyes full of ridicule.

"Well, that was mature," grumped Burt with an extra huff when the fox was gone. "Don't know why he's the go-to guy to corral all you... Listeners?"

"That's us!" Daisy chipped in, her fluffy tail flicking. She went to sit on the floor in front of the large screen.

Burt, Shadow, and I sat at one of the four tables, and the three other Listeners gabbed away, their voices rising in mutual annoyance. They seemed like good friends.

Shadow licked my nose, grinning. "Good to see you smile, Foxy," he said.

"Feels good to smile," I admitted.

"If you two don't mind, I'm going to hunt down the restroom," said Burt, already rising.

"I think we'll be okay here," I said, grinning. "Thanks for being here, Burt."

"Any time for family," Burt said, ruffling up my fur before trying to do the same to Shadow's big head.

"Nope," Shadow said, ducking away.

"Back in a few," Burt said, grinning on his way out.

When he was gone, Shadow scooted his chair next to mine and flung an arm around my shoulders. "Ugh," he whispered in my ear. "I thought we'd never get a moment."

I looked to the other three furs, but they had all joined at the gaming console. Terri was almost nose-to-screen, squinting at the brightness, and the other two occupied the couch. Hoots and yells rang against the gray walls while they kicked the crap out of each other in the game world. I smiled, feeling a weight lift off me, enjoying a sense of safety. Life might yet become enjoyable.

I nudged my nose into Shadow's neckfur, licking there to pick up a bit of scent. He closed his eyes and relaxed in the hard gray chair. When he let out a little shiver, I started in on his cheek, moving up to his ears. I licked them back over his head, to the side, and finally along their edges, enjoying his mumbles and whimpers.

When I heard an uncomfortable cough, I pulled my head back, blushing up to my ears. The three had stopped playing and were staring at us while their characters died to zombies.

Great. A zombie game now.

I blinked away my discomfort, my embarrassment as Shadow chuckled. "More?" he whispered in my ear.

I snickered. "Wait 'till later, horndog,"

"That's horn-wolf, you know," he said grinning at me, pulling me in for a long hug. "I love you, Tyler."

"I love you, my Wulf," I said, never feeling more free.

***

Shadow was silent, dropping his sagging backpack to our gray bedroom floor with a heavy sigh. The black wolf sat back on the bed, resting his head and staring at the opposite wall.

Brynn was with Michelle and Burt, 'helping' with the calf to give us a few hours of privacy. Brynn would spend the night with us, but for the moment we had some time. Shadow had looked torn when Michelle and Burt offered us the break. He did seem pretty stressed.

I went to the nearby bathroom to give him space. Never again would I take for granted what plumbing and electricity did for quality of life. I flushed the toilet and spent a few seconds watching the satisfying swirl. When I came back, Shadow was still staring at the gray wall. His happiness from before had evaporated.

I plopped my rear to the bed, next to Shadow. He still didn't say anything, so I tried. "Everything okay, Shadow?"

He didn't respond beyond a slight tensing of his frame.

"Wulf?" I whispered.

He sighed, finally lifting his muzzle off his paw. His eyes were troubled and almost teary when the gaze met mine. I reached towards him, but stopped when he leaned away. I didn't understand. What was wrong?

Had he come to realize the Curtain had... infiltrated me? Was I even still myself? How would I tell?

"Shadow?" I whispered, pulling my paws to my chest and clutching at my t-shirt. My head dipped, and I struggled not to join his tears.

"I can't stand it," he muttered.

I nodded. I couldn't stand it either. The Curtain must be changing me, and I wasn't even aware.

"I'm sorry, Wulf. I didn't think-"

"What?" he interrupted, staring at me with a deep confusion.

"What?" I echoed, feeling my own confusion.

Shadow huffed a long breath. "No. I can't stand what this is doing to you. To us."

I opened my muzzle to speak, but Shadow was already continuing his thoughts. "I can't stand how powerless I feel. First the Curtain is doing disturbing things to you. Then your father being such an ass, but I can't do anything. Now we have Burt, and he's a big fur...."

"I just wanted the support," I said, frowning. "I feel safe with you, always."

"Then why?" he asked. "Am I not enough? I can't help with the Curtain, now I can't help keep you safe?"

I grabbed his paw in mine. "Shadow. I want us all to have the support of each other. No one can be watchful all the time, and you're dealing with your own troubles. Don't think I haven't forgotten that wolf. Uh, his name was...."

"Amarok," Shadow said, barely audible even to my sensitive ears.

"Oh. From your pack?"

Shadow's eyes filled with tears, and he nodded, unable to find words. I moved my paws up to his thick-furred cheeks and pulled him to give him a little lick to his cold nose.

"Was he one of the bad ones?" I asked.

He shrugged, his muzzle opening and closing before speaking. "Not really. Just there."

"And he didn't do anything. But he knew what was going on?"

Shadow nodded, his head trying to sink in his shivering shoulders. My heart clenched in sympathy, and I drew him close. He clutched my shoulders, not crying, not saying anything, just shaking.

"It's one more thing, one more to the total shit pile of my life," he spat.

"Shadow! Shadow, I know it's bad but-"

"But what? Every day I see you figuring out your life, and I feel like so much a mess. Every night, you sleep so, so peacefully, and I have to wake up from my nightmares."

Our awkward hug shifted into snuggling in bed, nose-to-nose, legs entwined. My Wulf, in all his strength, still struggled.

"You've tried so hard to bury your past, Shadow," I said, propping myself up far enough to lick on his ear. "You try to forget, but stuff will bite your ass if you don't face things."

"How am I supposed to face something like this?" he whimpered, rubbing his nose into my chest.

"I would-"

"No!" Shadow snapped, making my eyes go wide. "I'm sorry, Tyler, but you have no idea. It's frustrating as all the Furry Hells. I want to keep you away from the thoughts I have, the- the fear I find. I want to keep you sweet and never know anything like I've been through."

I sank back down from my propped elbows, so I could pull his big head to my chest. Shadow was important, needing me.

"I'm so scared," he sobbed. "I hate the world. I want it to disappear. Everyone and everything. I want the world to be just us, no one else."

"Shhh. I understand. But-"

"I know it's not realistic. And some part of me is almost happy the Curtain happened. You know? I wanted my old pack to disappear. I feel like I made it, the Curtain."

"No. Shadow, no." I pulled his muzzle up to look at me. "None of this is your fault. Nothing that happened to you in your shitty - and I mean shitty - pack, excuse my words, was your fault. It all happened to you. Not because of you."

"I thought the world had ended when I came out of my stairwell, Tyler. I really had. And I thought I was dead too. And for a moment, I felt safe. I felt completely safe and satisfied. I thought I was dead too, but it felt okay, you know?" He whimpered, closing his eyes, unable to face me. "I'm a horrible, horrible fur. I was happy at all that death. I just want to feel safe."

"Shadow. Shadow, look at me." At my gentle command, he did open his eyes. "You're the best fur I know. You're my mate. I know I'm biased, but there's something about you. You're gentle, strong, and caring after all that happened to you. You made it through, through all of it. Your pack, your recovery with Cade, the Curtain, you came out a better fur. You came out as Wulf."

Shadow blinked, blinked again. He squeezed out more tears, unable to speak and seized me close in a tight, tight hug, sobbing.

"I want you to feel safe. Forever safe, Shadow." I mumbled into his shoulder, knowing he could hear me. "We're going to be okay, because we have each other. You're a good fur, Shadow, believe it."

"I don't," he admitted in a barely-audible whisper. "I don't think I'm good at all. But I want to be good, because you're so good. I want to be good with you."

"I'm glad we're together, Shadow. We'll be good furs together. We'll start a new world together. Everything will change. We'll be safe, always safe because we have each other."

He nodded and we clung to each other in our gray room, with its gray bed and bare lighting.

"Are you mad I asked Burt and them to come down?" I asked.

"What?" Shadow asked with a tiny start.

"When I asked for Burt and his family, it's because I wanted them to be safe and to have someone watch our backs. No one can shoulder everything on their own. I know it's nice to think of 'just us' in the world, but I don't want you to feel the burden of keeping me safe."

"You're not a burden."

I shrugged, feeling upset rise in my throat.

"You're not a burden, Tyler. Look at what you can do!?"

I shook my head. "I've always been a burden, a burden on my family. A burden to you. I didn't want to weigh you down any more."

"You're not weighing me down, Tyler, and I'm not mad about Burt. I'm glad they're here. I was worried down to my fuzzy balls about Brynn, too."

I snickered. "Fuzzy balls, huh?"

Shadow's grin couldn't be stopped. "Uh-huh. Down to my fuzzy balls."

"What...? These balls?" I started to reach down, but he jerked his lower body away.

"Nope. They're mine," he said, while I pretended to pout.

I relaxed my arm back to his side. After a minute of enjoying wolfy scent and gray silence, I said, "But it's good to have allies, right?"

"It is. I've never had anyone but Cade. I guess I forgot what it felt like to have someone to help. Furs to help through stuff."

"No fur stands alone, Wulf. Even when they think they're all alone in the world."

"Not alone," he whispered into my ear, relaxing all along his tall frame.

He fell asleep there, his head buried in my chest. I felt his heart against me, thumping steady, wolfy beats. My mate. My Wulf. My heart.