Kazufox Interview #3
#3 of Kazufox Interviews!
Note: ...
Short intro at end of my first video game crush...
Aside from that...I've got nothing else to say. Excuse me...*goes to vomit*
~Prologue #3~
~Inside what Kazufox calls the Hippie Van Pad, for obvious reasons, sits Kazufox and sitting across from him is his hippie landlord Fred~
(~Hippie music playing~)
*Fred*: Listen Kazi, you need to chill man.
*Kazufox*:
*Fred*: Anger isnt the way to go furry dude.
*Kazufox*: I know
*Fred*: Youre a good guy Kazi, so take care and remember, violence isnt always the answer.
*Kazufox*: Uh, thanks.
*Fred*: Well its time for you to get back man. Our meeting is done.
*Kazufox*: What do you mean get back? Back to where? Hey! Howd I even end up here anyways!?
*Fred*: Chill man. So many questions, so little time.
~Kazufox disappears. Portal leading to Other Side opens and Slippy falls through~
*Slippy*: Bye! See you later!
*Figure*: !
~Portal closes~
*Slippy*: Say! Youve got a nice place here. It reminds me of Yoshis. Do you like Yoshis?
*Fred*: Yoshis are the colors of life man.
_Kazufoxs interview with Katt and Bill_
~Location: Hospital~
*Kazufox*: Gah! I hate when Fred uses his hippie mumbo jumbo on me like thathey, wait a minute. Where am I!?
~A hot nurse walks in~
*Tina*: Youre in the hospital.
*Kazufox*: What!? But how?
*Tina*: Youre ship crashed into you and you nearly drowned in a lake.
*Kazufox thinking*: I thought it was weird when I got that weird sinking feeling.
*Tina*: You had to be given CPR for two hours straight!
*Kazufox*: Was it by you? (grins)
*Tina*: (giggles) No silly, not me.
*Kazufox thinking*: Damn.
~A fat, large, ugly nurse with a hairy back and German accent walks in~
*Kazufox*: Oh my God! Tell me it was not HER!
*Fat nurse*: Wasnt me tiny pup!
*Kazufox*: Thank you God.
*Tina*: It was my twin sister, Lisa.
~Another hot nurse looking like the first one walks in~
*Lisa*: Hi.
*Kazufox*: T-twins!?
*Tina*: Yep.
*Kazufox thinking*: Go me! Go me! Today is my lucky day!
*Lisa*: We better get going.
*Kazufox*: Huh?
*Tina*: You need your rest.
*Lisa*: See you later cutie. ^_~
~The twin nurses leave~
*Kazufox*: Bye(sees fat nurse) Well, what are you still doing here?
*Fat nurse*: Me here to give pup sponge bath!
*Kazufox*: NNNOOOOOO-at what time?
*Fat nurse*: At 2:30.
*Kazufox*: What time is it now?
*Fat nurse*: It is 3 oclock.
*Kazufox*: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (takes a breath) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
*Fat nurse*: Stop yelling! You get bath tomorrow.
*Kazufox*: Thank you God!!
*Fat nurse*: Doctor here. Me leave to give sponge bath to next patient. (leaves)
*Kazufox thinking*: *phew* Im safe.
~A few minutes later a creepy looking blond guy with lavender lips, wearing a lab coat walks in~
*Felix Faust VIII*: The doctor is in.
*Kazufox*: Oh crap
*Faust*: Hello, and hows my favorite furry friend doing today Kazuya?
*Kazufox*: Its Kazufox! And Im leaving.
*Faust*: Oh no you dont. Doctors orders.
*Kazufox*: Youre not a doctor, youre an insane psychopath that likes turning people into zombies!!
*Faust*: Why Kazu, Im hurt.
*Kazufox*: Why? Its true.
*Faust*: Yeah, but Im a fully licensed doctor, see? (shows license)
*Kazufox*: Well, Im still leaving!
*Faust*: No youre not.
*Kazufox*: Says who!?
*Faust*: Says me!
*Kazufox*: You and what army!?
~Faust whistles calling his helpers a small army of the living dead~
*Kazufox*: Oh screw it! (jumps out window)
*Faust*: Aww, too bad were fifteen stories from the ground.
~Kazufox hovers to the window in Shell Shurigun form with the propeller spinning~
*Kazufox*: Ha! What now? (looks down) Hey, what are those girls giggling about? (looks at himself) Holy crap, Im in a hospital gown and they see my underpants!
*Faust*: Sucks to be you Kazuyox. Ah ha haa!
*Kazufox*: Screw you! Go be friends with Leon or something! (flies away)
~Next morning in space near Katina~
*Kazufox*: Well my ship is in the repair shop so Im gonna have to use a rental shipunder my friends name of course. Im back now in my regular clothes and Im heading to Katina to interview Bill Grey and later tonight, Katt Monroe. I wonder what ever happened to Paul Wizzle anyways?
~Location: Old secret laboratory~
*Paul Wizzle*: Just a few more seconds until I get the results.
~DNA machine starts printing out results~
*Paul Wizzle*: Lets seeKazufox? I bet he knows what happened to my place.
~Location: Beach on Katina~
*Kazufox*: Well Im here at one of Katinas most famous beaches to interview Bill Grey. To do so I dressed for the occasion. (jumps out Samus style wearing blue swim trunks and a pair of sunglasses) Time to get going.
~Later that morning on the beach~
*Kazufox*: Well after a few hours of pla-I mean searching, I still havent foundBill!
~Bill is surfing a 20-foot wave~
*Kazufox*: Looks like Ive got no other choice.
~Kazufoxs shades, some sand and right arm disintegrates to form his alter the Shell Shurigun and his hair stands DBZ style~
*Kazufox*: (propeller starts spinning) Okay, surfs up! (flies toward Bill)
~Bill continues surfing and notices Kazufox flying nearby~
*Kazufox*: Hey Bill!
*Bill*: Yo, whats up Kazufox?
*Kazufox*: Im here to interview you.
*Bill*: Make it fast okay?
*Kazufox*: What are your thoughts on the new Starfox team?
*Bill*: Well, Fox is cool but he can act like a big baby at times. Falco still has an attitude problem. Peppy gats crazier as he gets older and Slippyis still Slippy except his voice has finally gotten lower.
*Kazufox*: And what about Krystal?
~When Kazufox asked, Bill loses his balance and falls off his surfboard. Kazufox flies over to Bill after he got washed on shore~
*Bill*: Major wipeout.
*Kazufox*: (normal state) Why were you like that when I said Krys-
*Bill*: (covers Kazufoxs mouth) SHH!! Youve got to keep your voice down.
*Kazufox*: (removes Bills paw) Why?
*Bill*: Because SHE is here.
*Kazufox*: Who, Krys-
*Bill*: No! The other, the crazy one.
*Kazufox*: You mean Far-
*Bill*: SHHHH!!
~Everyone stares at the two in silence~
*Bill*: Uh, yeah! Far away! Yeah, the Mushroom Kingdom is far away from here heh heh.
~Everyone returns to what they were doing~
*Bill*: Listen Kazufox, you cant ever mention that name around here.
*Kazufox*: Then answer my question.
*Bill*: Fine, shes hot but is very annoying okay? Now get out of here!
*Kazufox*: Fine then. (walks away)
*Bill*: *phew* Now back to surfing.
*Kazufox*: FARA!! Fara is coming! And shes really pissed!
~Everyone runs in panic while Kazufox jumps into his ship and flies off~
*Kazufox*: Ha ha ha ha ha! That was fun, now to take a short break.
~Location: streets of Corneria City~
*Kazufox*: Since my ship is still in the repair shop and Ill be interviewing Katt later Ill just be interviewing interesting people on the streets. Hey, theres Link? Oh well, I have time. Hey Link!
*Link*: Huh?
*Kazufox*: Hey Link, Im Kazufox.
*Link*: Youre the new interviewer right?
*Civilian*: Its an interviewer! Run for your lives!
~Everyone runs off and hides~
*Kazufox*: Yeah, Im supposed to interview Katt later, but can I interview you now?
*Link*: Okay.
*Kazufox*: Right then. Link, do you wear a loincloth, tunic, or a skirt?
*Link*: I wear a freaken tunic, a TUNIC!! How many times do I have to say that!?
*Kazufox*: A friend of mine says you wear a loincloth no matter how many times I tell him its a tunic
~A green warp pipe appears~
*Mario*: Its-a me-a Mario!
*Kazufox*: He really does always say that doesnt he?
*Link*: Yeah, unfortunately.
*Mario*: Hey-a, I-a heard of-a new interview-a.
*Kazufox*: Thats me, Kazufox.
*Mario*: Well-a interview-a me.
*Kazufox*: No.
*Mario*: Why-a not?
*Kazufox*: Because youre annoying and we all hate you!
*Mario*: Th-thats-a fine! I-a dont-a need-a you-a anyways-a! (runs off crying)
*Link*: That was mean.
*Kazufox*: Well its true.
*Link*: I know.
*Kazufox*: Anyways, have you seen Marth anywhere?
*Link*: No, why?
*Kazufox*: I have to clear a very important issue.
~Marth falls through plothole~
*Kazufox*: Ive been wondering where those things were.
*Marth*: Ohmy head. Hey where am I?
*Kazufox*: Corneria City.
*Marth*: Oh great, I need to get going.
*Kazufox*: Too bad. Theres something that I need to ask you.
*Marth*: What?
*Kazufox*: Are you and Link gay lovers?
~Eerie silence~
*Marth*: Whato.o
*Link*: Whato.o
*Mario*: What-a
~Suddenly plotholes appear everywhere and every Link and Marth fangirl jump out~
*Fangirls*: WHAT!?!
*Kazufox*: Oh crap.
*Zelda*: How dare you ask something like that!?
*Ruto*: Well kill you!!
*Firiel*: Die!!
*Kazufox*: Wait, it wasnt my idea. (points to Mario) He made me do it.
*Mario*: What-a?
*Fangirls*: KILL HIM!! (start chasing Mario)
*Mario*: Mama mia!! (runs away)
*Brock*: Hes so lucky.
*Kazufox*: How?
*Brock*: To be chased by so many beautiful girls. Hang on ladies, Im coming! (chases fangirls)
*Kazufox*: Weird.
*Link*: But howwhywith HIM!? (looks at Marth then runs off to go puke)
*Marth*: WhoDARES start this horrible rumor!! (draws sword) I will make them pay!
*Kazufox*: Well stuff like that would be personal and only a close friend would be able to know and start such a rumor.
*Marth*: What do you mean?
*Kazufox*: A certain someone named Roy maybe?
*Marth*: Roy!? I shouldve known, Ill kill him!
~The Koopa kid Roy walks nearby~
*Marth*: YOU!!
*Roy*: What?
*Marth*: Ill kill you! (chases Roy)
*Roy*: Uh oh. (runs away) Geez, whats your problem? I didnt even do anything wrongyet.
~A few minutes later Marth heads back with a piece of shades~
*Marth*: I almost had him, but he wont get away from me!
*Kazufox*: Dumb ass! The Roy Im talking about is human and deals with fire.
*Marth*: Oh.
~Roy Mustang walks by~
*Marth*: YOU!! (charges at Roy)
*Kazufox*: Wait!! Not that Roy.
~Kazufox watches from a distance a giant blaze. He then walks over to the burnt remains of Marth~
*Kazufox*: Double dumb ass! Im talking about your buddy Roy you know, with the fire sword, from Fire Emblem, crazy Lord of the Rings nut.
*Marth*: Oh*faint*
*Kazufox*: *sigh* Sorry about this.
*Roy Mustang*: Hmph, lucky for him I was in a good mood. Dont let it happen again. (walks off)
~Link walks back still feeling sick~
*Link*: How could they? Me? (looks at Marth) What happened to him?
*Kazufox*: Flame alchemist.
*Link*: Oh, but how can people say Im gay!?
*Kazufox*: Actually, it happens a lot.
~Young Link drops from plothole~
*Young Link*: Because I am. (drinks milk)
*Kazufox*: Ill tell him.
~Kazufox explains to Young Link that the term gay theyre using doesnt mean happy~
*Young Link*: But, why? (starts crying)
*Kazufox*: If you ask me its the tights.
*Link*:
*Young Link*:
*Kazufox*: Well, what are you two waiting for? Go get some new clothes.
The two Links look at each other then run off to find something to wear
~Later in space somewhere~
*Kazufox*: Those dumb Links left me to drag Marth to the hospital. And to get one thing straight, I DONT think that Link is gay. Marth on the other hand is wellhes only appeared in one game besides Smash Bros. Anyways, Im on my way to see Katt for the interview.
~Location: Katts place~
*Kazufox*: (eyepiece glows) Well uhMs. Monroe, how was being with Falco like?
*Katt*: At first it was great, but now the only reason he wants to be with me is because of my boobs.
*Kazufox*: I see what you mean(drools)
*Katt*: What?
*Kazufox*: I said I know what you mean! Yeah, heh heh.
*Katt*: Oh, okay.
*Kazufox*: (wipes drool) Theres a rumor about you being in the next Smash Bros. game, is it true?
*Katt*: I dont know for sure myself. I didnt get a letter or anything saying that I was, but I would like to go if Falco is there of course.
*Kazufox*: Falco has been avoiding you a lot, why?
*Katt*: *sigh* I honestly dont know.
*Kazufox*: Well, maybe if youre not busy tomorrow night then maybe we could-
~Suddenly a blue griffon-like kid runs in~
*Boy*: Mommy! Mommy!
*Katt*: What is it dear?
*Boy*: Can you tell me a story?
*Katt*: Not now. Mommys in the middle of an interview.
*Boy*: Okay!
*Kazufox*: Wow Katt, I never knew you were a babysitter.
*Katt*: Im not. This is my son Tommy.
*Kazufox*: o.o
*Katt*: I guess I should introduce you to all my children. Come down everyone!
~The room starts filling with half bird, half cat and griffon-like kids all running around~
*Katt*: These are my kids.
*Kazufox*: o.o
*Katt*: Theres ten altogether.
*Kazufox*: o_o (eyepiece disappears)
~A pink cat kid runs up to Kazufox~
*Kazufox*: You have a pretty little girl here Katt.
*Kid*: Im not a girl you stupid furball!
*Kazufox*: O.O
*Kid*: My name is Mitch dumb ass!
*Kazufox*: O_O
*Katt*: Mitch! What have I told you about that?
*Kid*: Sorry mom.
*Kazufox*: Must be the freak of the family.
~A kid looking like Fox runs by~
*Kazufox*: I stand corrected.
~Then a kid looking like Panther runs by~
*Kazufox*: I stand correctedagain.
*Katt*: I was just as surprised as you.
*Kazufox*: Theres a kid here that looks like Krystal!
*Katt*: Theyre all Falcos kids.
*Kazufox*: Whats next? A Slippy kid?
*Katt*: Dont even joke like that!
*Kazufox*: Okay thenWolf?
*Katt*: Yeah, oh what were you going to ask me?
*Kazufox*: Well look at the time Ive got to get going, bye!
~Kazufox starts running to his ship and flies away as fast as he can~
*Kazufox thinking*: That was scary. Ill never use my powers to look through girls clothes ever again! Well, now I know why Katt wants Falco so much, child support. But still, is it possible that all the Starfox characters had the same mom like Katt and never knew? They wouldnt even know that they were brothers and sisters, but what if its more than just Starfox!? And if they got marriedto each otherthat would be wrong in so many ways. Im glad that she isnt my momright? Yeah, of course Im right! But what if everything else was true!? This is seriously screwed up. This is Kazufox and Im ending this interview before things get any weirder.
~Epilogue~
~This ends my third interview leaving a lot on my mind. Anyways, I heard the Links got new pants, in fact they were asked to be on T.V. commercials. Young Link is in a Got Milk? commercial and the other Link as a Calvin Klein model. Marth got out of the hospital and is chasing the fire swordsman Roy, about time that idiot got it right. And about Marth, I hate his showoffy guts! After I found out that his stance in Smash Bros. was Ooh, everyone look at me. Im the poopy Prince Marth, it really ticked me off. Well anyways, the Koopa kid Roy got a new sunglasses and he likes it. Roy Mustang went back to do whatever he does for the military. Mario is still on the run and Brock is still running. Everyone on Katina was pissed off, but too bad for them they dont know who cried out Fara, she was actually on the planet on a shopping spree with some unfortunate interviewer, its a good thing I never went out with her. I heard that Slippy had finally returned but was found in the streets in a bloody mess. I wonder if Fred had something to do with that? Bill still surfs and Katt is still trying to find Falco, no wonder he rejoined Starfox. Me? Im just gonna head home andhuh?~
~Next morning at Hippie Van Pad~
*Fred*: Hey Kazi.
*Kazufox*: Hi Fred, whats the occasion today?
*Fred*: Not much, I just wanted to see my favorite furry friend.
*Kazufox*: Thanks Fred. Im tou-
*Fred*: And you need to pay the rent man.
*Kazufox*: FiguresHey Fred?
*Fred*: Yeah furry dude?
*Kazufox*: I almost died again didnt I?
*Fred*: You sure did.
*Kazufox*: Thought so. By the way, did you beat up Slippy?
*Fred*: Well, it looks like its time for you to go fox dude.
*Kazufox*: Wait! I just want to-(disappears)
~Location: Hospital~
*Kazufox*: know(refer to last statement)
*Tina*: Oh youre awake. Youve got to be more careful.
*Kazufox*:
*Tina*: You crashed your ship and nearly drowned in the same lake!
*Kazufox*:
*Tina*: When your ship was pulled out it was totaled. The cause was some malfunction.
*Kazufox thinking*: Dammit! I found that Wolf look alike baby drooling all over the controls. He tried to kill me!
*Tina*: You had to be given CPR again.
*Kazufox*: Let me guess, your sister?
*Tina*: Nope. Just little ol me.
*Kazufox thinking*: I cant believe I was kissed by hot twins and was unconscious both times!
*Tina*: Well I better get going now. You need your rest. If you need anything then hit the call button.
*Kazufox*: Will it be you or your sister coming?
*Tina*: (giggles) Neither sill. Olga will be here.
*Kazufox*: Whos Olga?
*Fat nurse*: Me tiny pup!
*Kazufox*: *gulp*
*Tina*: Olga will be outside if you need anything.
~The nurses leave the room~
*Kazufox*: Oh screw it! (tosses call remote)
~A few minutes later a mysterious woman walks into the room~
*Kazufox*: Hey, who are you?
*???*: My name is Miyu Lynx.
*Kazufox*: Miyu, huh? Thats a pretty name.
*Miyu*: Its the last youll ever hear. (pulls out gun)
*Kazufox*: Why? What did I do?
*Miyu*: Nothing personal, but Fox asked me to do this.
*Kazufox*: Is he upset because I scratched his Arwing, went out with Krystal, or took some of his dads old rock CDs?
*Miyu*: Knowing him its the CDs. (loads bullets)
*Kazufox*: You dont have to do this.
*Miyu*: I do. Im getting paid a lot for this and I really need the money. Althoughyou are kind of cute. (puts on silencer)
*Kazufox thinking*: This is nuts! Shes gonna kill me! I cant let it end, not like this!
*Krystals voice*: I know youll find someone
*Kazufox thinking*: What does that have to do with anything!? She is beautiful thoughNo! Must stay focusignore warm fuzzy feelingresist it! No, no, no! Yes! No! I dont know what to think anymore. Damn! I think II
~Miyu starts to squeeze the trigger~
*Kazufox*: I love you.
*bang*
~The shot missed~
*Miyu*: What!?
*Kazufox*: Uhyoure beautiful?
*Miyu*: (blushes) uh, thank you-Hey! Youre just trying to distract me!
*Kazufox*: No. I mean it, but I guess you have a boyfriend or something
*Miyu*: ActuallyIm single.
*Kazufox*: Really? Thats too bad.
*Miyu*: Its justoh you wouldnt care.
*Kazufox*: Im a good listener.
~One hour later~
*Miyu*: And thats about it. (sees Kazufox wiping his eyes) Youre just like every other guy I ever dated! You werent even listening to a single word I said!
*Kazufox*: No*sniff* That story is just so sadto be so misunderstood like that and to be ignored and forgotten. *sniff*
*Miyu*: Youactually listened?
*Kazufox*: I said I was a good listener.
~Both gaze into each others eyes~
*Kazufox*: My name is Kazufox. Kazufox the alter user.
*Miyu*: Nice to meet you Kazufox.
*Kazufox*: You can just call me Kazu for short. Soyoure not going to kill me?
*Miyu*: I guess not.
*Kazufox*: What about Fox?
*Miyu*: What about him?
*Kazufox*: Well, then how about going out with me tomorrow night?
*Miyu*: Sure.
*Kazufox*: I guess Ill see you later. The doctor is coming soon.
*Miyu*: Okay, bye. (leaves)
~A minute later two creepy figures walk into the room~
*Faust*: Hello KazuFA:
*Kazufox*: Oh crap. Not this again, and its Kazufox!
*Faust*: The doctors are in.
*Kazufox*: Doctors? Wait, whos the other guy?
*Leon*: Hello again Kazufox!
*Kazufox*:
*Faust*: I took your advice Kazu, and who knew we had so much in common.
*Kazufox*:
*Leon*: Shall we operate Dr. Faust?
*Faust*: Yes Dr. Powalski, lets.
*Kazufox*: Hey! How come you get his name right but not mine!?
*Faust*: Yours is harder to remember. Now where were we? (picks up tools)
*Kazufox*: The hell with that! Im outta here! (runs for the door)
*Leon*: (shuts door) Time for you to take a nap! (pulls out sleeping gas)
~Kazufox runs around the room being chased by the two crazy doctors until Kazufox gets cornered~
*Faust*: Nowhere to run Kazu.
*Kazufox*: Oh ******* this! (jumps out window)
*Faust*: Thats not good.
~Miyu rushes into the room~
*Miyu*: What did you two do to Kazufox!?
*Leon*: He thought he was a bird and flew the coop.
*Faust*: Ah yes, Kazu is indeed a sick one, but the worst thing is that he doesnt have the use of his alter powers for at least another six hours, which means he cant fly.
*Miyu*: No! My new boyfriend is dead already.
*Faust*: Dont worry about him, hes a tough one. Hell survive the fall, just take him home and tell him to take an aspirin and call me in the morning.
*???*: Gee, thanks doc!
~Kazufox is flying in his upgraded blue Wolfen~
*Kazufox*: Miyu, come with me if you want to live! And could you get my clothes?
~Miyu gets his clothes and jumps on the wing of the Wolfen~
*Miyu*: Youre crazy!
*Kazufox*: If you think this is bad, you shouldve seen my last few jobs.
~The ship flies off into the sunset~
*Faust*: That was interesting.
*Leon*: Hmph. Fun for you, but I wanted to operate.
*Faust*: Dont worry Leon, how about after work we go get some pie?
*Leon*: Woo hoo!
~Later in recovery room~
~Marth and Roy are recovering from serious burns~
*Marth*: Ill kill you!
*Roy*: This is your fault!
*Marth*: You were the idiot running around Mustang!
*Roy*: You were the idiot that pissed him off!
*Marth*: You were the one to start the rumors of me being gay with Link!
*Roy*: What!? Youre crazy if you think tha-
*Faust*: The doctors are in.
*Leon*: May I?
*Faust*: Be my guest.
*Leon*: Oh goodie! (pulls out chainsaw) Time to remove that melted armor heh heh heh.
*Marth*: Mommy!
*Roy*: Bowe!
*bzzzzzzzz*
~A minute later~
*Leon*: Oops.
*Faust*: Ooooh. That doesnt look too good, oh well we must learn from our mistakes. Remember, take an aspirin and call me in the morning.
*The End*
~Nintendo characters are copyright to Nintendo.~
~Figure and Other Side are copyright to Sunrise Inc.~
~Naruto and Sakura are copyright to Shonen Jump.~
~Felix Faust VIII is copyright to himself.~
~Kazufox, Tina, Lisa, Olga, and Fred the hippie are copyright to Kazufox.~
~Roy Mustang is copyright to Funimation Productions.~
~Katts kids are copyright to Katt.~
~Firiel is copyright to herself.~
~Paul Wizzle is copyright to himself.~
*Kazufox*: Ha! I did my research and Miyu is a GIRL!! You hear that everyone? Even you too, Lady Nightshade, believe it!
*Naruto*: Hey, thats my line.
*Sakura*: Shut up Naruto! (punches his head)
*Naruto*: OW!
*The End (for real this time)*