FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

The light flashed, merrily. They always did. Anything that threw a spanner in the works seemed to be happy about it. Sirens of doom would sing joyously. Beacons of battle would blaze like a rock concert. This squiggly iridescent lamp doing its best disco ball impression wasn't quite so apocalyptic in nature, but its continuing presence on the Titan's smooth dash was still ruining General Warlock's day.

"Have your goblin techs taken a look at it?"

"Yes, sir." The Lieutenant rubbed his elven sharp chin, "and yes, sir, before you ask - we did give it a thump for good measure. It's still unresponsive."

"Ah," Anar nodded. That was going to be his next question. A good thump was always worth a try, even with fancy future alien tech.

"If only we had the user manual, sir."

The General smiled, kindly, at the Lieutenant, "we say that about a lot of things around here. You'll get used to it. Ah, this is so frustrating! The Titan is perfect for making a good first impression with new clients. I can't pull up in my old Jeep. Not that it's guaranteed to remain in one piece long enough, anyway."

The elf Lieutenant furrowed his delicate brow; "we have many vehicles, sir..."

Anar threw up his hands, "but these are mine! I'm very attached to the few things I own. You try being lost in space in an alternate dimension on a funny planet gazillions of lightyears from home. See how you like it."

"Sorry, sir."

"Oh, it's alright, just getting grumpy in my old age, I suppose." He clapped the elf on the back, chummily, "keep prodding things, see if it wakes up. Keep me posted, ok?"

"Of course, sir. We'll do our best to have the Titan up and running again, sir."

General Warlock twirled his blaster in his hand, absently, while walking back to the main building. Living in the future wasn't all it was cracked up to be. They'd got the power of the suns themselves harnessed, had portals dotted around everywhere providing plentiful natural resources from across the galaxy, brandished weapons made of elements he couldn't even pronounce that could cause untold devastation at the flip of a switch, but not one manual in sight. Things would - and did - stop working without warning. Like the Titan.

It was an alien shape-shifting vehicle that ran on photons through a quantum engine. It may as well have ran on magic.

Anar knew a fair bit about magic, being part dragon. On the subject of photons and quantums, however, his knowledge was severely lacking. That was what the goblins were for. They were clever little creatures. He was simply a charismatic aardvark in a fancy jacket that had stars set on the shoulder-pads. He did like the laser blaster, though. It also functioned as a hairdryer and made a satisfying whining sound as it charged up, creating crackling green sparks. He felt like Han Solo, albeit grey and with a much bigger nose.

Today he was meeting up with a cyborg commander. On a spaceship! He'd been really pumped, who wouldn't be? It was like an episode of Star Trek. He'd wanted to roll through the portal in his glowing truck so he looked the part. All the people he met on such occasions liked it, asked questions about it, were impressed with it. Granted, some of the questions he had to make up answers to, but thinking on his feet while flashing a winning smile was his specialty.

A blonde ponytail bobbed ahead and he retracted his long ears, instinctively.

"Ello General! How did your meeting go? Do they want any orcs? I always wanted to go into space, you know. Can I ? Can I? You can teach me that special walk you do, you know, the one for walking on the moon?"

He took a breath, "No, Raz, I have not been to my meeting yet and no, Raz, I am not going to teach you how to moonwalk..."

"It goes like this, yeah? You slide back but go forwards and you go 'Ow!'"

Wondering once again what he had ever done to deserve having this half-elf she-orc in his life, Anar watched dumbfounded as the big busty warg-handler slid around on the dusty desert ground in her massive boots causing other busy soldiers to stop and stare.

"It's called the moonwalk, but it's not actually for walking on the moon," he said futilely, "and anyway, the cyborgs aren't on the moon, they're in a spaceship. You just walk normally."

"That's boring!" she pouted. "I don't want to go anymore. Thanks for the offer, anyway."

His mouth moved, almost saying unkind things, "very well, Sergeant." He looked around, quickly, "where's Trouble?"

"Mauling the vet, most likely. He's having his shots for space fleas. I'll pick him up in a bit."

"You're... not with him?" he asked, faintly.

She shrugged, "vet said leave him with the nurse." She saw the aardvark's grey eyes widen. "Yeah, I thought it was odd... I should go, shouldn't I?"

He nodded, frantically, "yes! Oh crikey it's going to be carnage." They sped off together for the portal room. "I knew we should have had an in-house clinic for the animals!"

"Well, sir, you're in charge!" she scowled, skidding through the double doors of the Kaos Army headquarters.

"Other people are allowed to contribute to the running of this place, you know," he grumbled.

The veterinarian 's surgery was eerily quiet as their boots landed on the smooth floor. They scanned left and right for blood splatters, pricked keen ears for any screams or yelps in other rooms.

"Trouble? Coo-ee, mummy's here! Who's a good boy?"

"Not that flea bag, that's for sure."

"He's not a flea bag! He's had his shots!"

"Can I help you?"

They spun round to see a tall avian clinic nurse in a clean uniform standing by the reception desk. "We're here for the warg..."

"Oh, thank goodness! He's gone through our entire squeaky toy supply and started chewing on the other customers."

"I'll settle up the bill, you go wrangle the beast," Anar instructed, sending Raz through into the holding room.

She came back, skidding as Trouble the warg led the way, tugging on his shocking pink glittery collar and leash. "You're one to talk, anyway, with that ruddy magic horse of yours."

"Destroyer? Destroyer! Of course!" he slapped his head. "I don't have to take a vehicle..."

"He almost bit me once, you know."

"I fully sympathise."

"And he kicks!"

"Raz, he's a war horse, of course he bites and kicks."

She sniffed, "he's not at war with me, we're on the same side. He's just plain cheeky."

The nurse bird man looked relieved as they vanished in a swirl of blue glowing portal.

Smooth steel bay doors slid open with a metallic grind and hum of power. Beyond, inky black space yawned out as far as bionic eyes could see. Glowing stars, glittering comet trails, blurry far-off planetoids and colourful clouds of nebuli filled their expansive fields of enhanced vision.

"I see no incoming shuttle on the sensors, Commander. Are you certain this... General Warlock is honouring his meeting with us? Mortal races are wary of our superiority."

The Commander waved a welded hand, airily, "The General will surely have a primitive mode of transport. A class 3 or such. We will be patient."

The First Officer shifted on his metal feet, "but why?' he whined.

"Because," the Commander said firmly, "as you say, mortal races are wary of us. This General didn't flinch at mention of our composition. Rather, he seemed very eager to talk to us. Said we reminded him of the Cybermen."

"He's met our kind before? Impossible!"

"That is what he said. The organisation he runs have seen many races, many worlds. He is not afraid of us." Reaching up to the face plate covering what little pink flesh he had remaining, he adjusted the zoom on his optical lens. "Wait..."

There was a flash of blue outside the ship's body, a swirling whirling circle appearing from nowhere.

"Portals! They have portal capability?"

"I told you. Many worlds..."

Something dark flitted from within the blue, sweeping into view, large and graceful with wide, outspread wings, a glittering aura surrounding it and the rider upon its back.

"It can't be biological! It's in the vacuum of space. It would perish. It would freeze."

"And yet, here it comes..."

Screaming through the open bay doors, Destroyer swept in with powerful flaps of his bat-like wings, swooping around the perimeter with a great gust, the sparkling aura fading as he alighted on his sturdy, ebony hair-covered hooves in front of the half-machines before him, giving a final noble rear and snort of his cavernous nostrils before retracting his wings and shaking away his nose horn to reveal his rider fully.

"Nice one, Des," Anar hissed, "nailed it." With a leap, he alighted onto the floor of the spaceship, straightening out his officer's jacket and flashing his medals for good measure. "General Warlock of the Kaos Army. It's a pleasure..."

"It's a horse!" one of the cyborgs exclaimed.

"He's actually a nightmare, not a horse. Big difference."

"It flew!"

"Yes. Nightmares do that."

"It flew in space!"

"Grenoy, you're embarrassing me," the other cyborg growled.

His partner paid no attention and stepped forward, his hand twitching.

"Grenoy!"

"But..." he looked at the noble steed and then at his superior, the old skin on his exposed cheek creasing into a smile, "it's a horse..."

"Nightmare!" Anar coughed. "He bites."

"Of course he does, look at the majestic creature, such a fine animal. It's been so long since I saw a living thing, never mind one so beautiful."

Destroyer stamped a hoof and shook his head, almost preening at the admiration he was receiving.

"I'll never hear the end of this," Anar muttered under his breath. "Commander Holt, I assume?" he extended a hand to the cyborg who wasn't gazing dreamily at the nightmare.

Cool metal touched his warm, gloved hand and he was grateful for working with orcs as the vice-like grip didn't bring tears to his grey eyes.

Commander Holt seemed pleased, "long have I waited to meet a worthy mortal, one who could accept our kind and be allies."

Anar nodded, "I've seen some right weirdos believe me. Ancient humans who gain immortality by fusing themselves to machines is nothing."

"You have utilised portals, have you not?"

"Indeed! Very handy things, portals. We use them for everything - water, heating, indoor plumbing. Of no use to you, naturally," he grinned.

"But travel," Holt insisted, "we have been on board this ship for thousands of years and galactically speaking we have not traversed far."

"Can I touch him?" Grenoy called, wistfully.

Anar turned his grey head, ears pricking. "Ask him yourself. He's fully sentient." He asked Holt, "do you not have a warp drive?"

The cyborg paused, "a warp drive?"

Anar shrugged, "must be a Star Trek thing."

"We created these artificial vessels so that we could see the stars. Mortal bodies cannot withstand interstellar travel."

"Sounds great."

"It is very dull. We have amassed much data, taken many recordings, but the time waiting between such excitement is long."

"Sounds like the army," Anar chuckled. "Months of boredom then Bam! Three wars at once."

"Yes... yes, I suppose it is."

"I would like to ask something of you, General."

He rubbed his snout, "most people want weapons or soldiers. I'm intrigued as to what you're after, I must say."

"We would like... friends. Nobody welcomes us, but you, you are different. We have become machines but our humanity remains. The need to see a world from more than the outside is immense."

"You're all scientists, right? Explorers? No laser pew-pew sort of thing?"

Holt was struggling to understand the funny grey mammal, "we are peaceful, yes."

"Great! Makes things much more interesting. Well, I got a gaggle of goblins who would love to have a go flying a spaceship. A few of you could come down and hang out with us for a bit. See some trees, some elves, the orcs will love all the..." he gestured at the metal plating that made up the majority of the cyborgs body. "Don't suppose you know how to fix a Titan Phase, do you? Mine's broken."

"Is it a spaceship?" Holt asked.

"Could well be, knowing my luck," Anar snorted.

There was a massive metallic clang behind them.

"I fell off," Grenoy explained, picking himself up.

"It's all in the thighs," Anar explained. "Grip tight. Back straight. Heels down."

Grenoy vaulted back up on Destroyer's back.

"You owe me big time for this," the nightmare snorted.

"You could have said 'no'."

"I was being gracious!"

"Give him a whirl, he'll like that."

Massive bat-like wings grew out in a moment and the large nose-horn sprouted monstrously atop Destroyer's velvet muzzle.

Grenoy clutched fistfuls of wavy mane with a cry of surprise and delight, "fly! Fly my steed!"

"Alright, settle down, I'm getting there." He burst into a canter, then into a full gallop, Grenoy hollering like an excited child, before leaping out of the spacecraft's belly and out into space, the shimmering aura once again surrounding them.

"What technology IS that?!" Holt wondered with a gasp.

"That's not technology mate, that's magic. That's magic..."