FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

--

Tom closed the front door behind him and immediately let out a sigh, leaning against the wall and slumping down to the ground. He closed his eyes and just existed for a moment, taking in the familiar vanilla scent of his boyfriend's house before starting to take off his shoes.

"Long day?"

Tom glanced up to see Jay sipping a coffee in the kitchen. He gave his boy a tired smile and nodded, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Yeah, you got me. Got stuck on that committee I was telling you about, which is bad enough, but I'm actually heading it! So... got a lot of work to look forward to on top of the stuff they already have me do."

Jay took another sip and put down the cup, going to his boyfriend and crouching in front of him. "It'll be good for your career though, won't it kid?"

Tom's heart fluttered a bit, a blush creeping in his cheeks. They'd been together long enough for him to see where this was going. "Yeah, I... yeah it will. It's just going to be hard for a while. It's been hard for so long. I'm just tired I guess."

"I know what you mean." Jay tousled his boyfriend's hair and stood up, offering him a hand. "Do you need some relaxation time... Little Tom?"

The blush intensified, but Tom took his boyfriend's hand with a sheepish grin. "I don't know these things," he protested. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jay hoisted Tom to his feet and led him to the bedroom. He walked behind his boyfriend like a child being tugged along, just another thing to help him get into headspace.

Jay's bedroom was pretty plain to the untrained eye. There was a queen bed off to the corner of the room, a carpet and a lamp, and a pretty nice dresser-mirror combo that gave the place an adult, if monotone, feeling.

Someone a little more discerning, however, might notice a few details. Stickers of a kid's show character on the side of his alarm clock. A set of white pajamas with a car and dinosaur pattern in the hamper. There was also fine white powder on the carpet near the bed.

Jay left Tom at the foot of the bed and strode over to his closet, throwing it open and shattering any illusion of maturity that might have remained: inside colorful onesies hung like flags from hangers, partially obscuring the soft blankets and stuffed animals on the floor below. There were two tubs of toys next to them, one full of baby toys like rattlers, big wooden cars, and soft foam puzzle pieces for gumming, and the other filled with 'more mature toys' like army men and matchbox cars. Rows and rows of diapers lined the walls, some plain but many with playful, childish designs. Stacks of wipes leaned against the baby powder, and there was even a box of pacifiers on top of the diaper pail in the corner.

He glanced back at Tom, who struggled to hide a grin of sheepish delight as he looked over the collection. "Like it?" Jay said simply. "I just restocked, in case you couldn't tell."

"Wow," Tom breathed. "That's, um... well that's a lot."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "And do you like it, kid?"

He nodded, thankful that at least he couldn't turn redder than he already was. "Y-Yes," he squeaked out.

Jay smiled gently and reached over to tousle his boyfriend's hair again. "There's my good boy. Now come on, I'm making you choose your own stuff today."

While they had met on an online ABDL forum and Jay was incredibly comfortable with it, Tom had rarely indulged before meeting him. All of this was still new to him, and an instinctual embarrassment took over every time they started a scene. Jay usually ended up taking a Daddy role because of it, even though he was diapered far more frequently than his boyfriend was.

This was a new step for Tom, who shuffled closer and struggled not to hide his face in his hands. Everything in the closet looked so fun, and to choose any of it would be admitting it was something that he wanted. Having Jay choose for him let him pretend he didn't enjoy it as much as he did.

Jay gave him a kiss on the cheek, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. "C'mon baby, I know you can do it. It's something you're going to have to get used to, and I promise you're going to enjoy it once you do."

Tom took a deep breath and held it for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing out. "You're right," he said. It was time to take that next step, while Jay was there next to him for safety.

He searched the onesies and diapers for the outfit he'd wear for the next few hours. Choosing a onesie was easy - "That one!" he said, pointing towards a plain orange one - but for some reason, choosing a diaper was harder. The colorful animals and toys of the childish patterns both entranced him and made him nervous, but the plain designs were all overnights. They were significantly more bulky than the daytime kiddie diapers, and would make his onesie bulge out that much more.

"C'mon kiddo, you got this," Jay murmured. "I'm right here."

He hesitated a few moments longer, wrestling with two parts of himself in opposition. Finally he pointed at a plain white diaper. "I want that one," he whispered.

Jay grinned. "What was that kiddo? You'll have to speak up."

Tom's throat closed up a bit, and he had to clear it a few times before he got the nerve up to say it again. "I want that one," he said again. "The white one."

"You want that what? What is it you want?"

His face burned, but he couldn't help but grin. "I wanna wear the white diaper!"

"Aww, there we go kiddo! Good job!" Jay praised his boyfriend, giving him one more hair tousle before kissing him on his cheek. "Alright kid, you think you can take your clothes off, or do you need my help for that?"

"I can do it on my own!" Tom insisted. Jay nodded, and he sat on the bed to slip off his shirt and pants. He left his underwear on: it was like a barrier between him and the kiddish act he was about to put on, a last vestige of adulthood.

Jay turned around with onesie, diaper and baby powder in tow, setting them on the edge of the bed and looking at his boyfriend with a grin. "Oh, silly baby, you forgot something!" He slid up to Tom and gave him a peck on his lips before getting on his knees, face to face with his boyfriend's crotch. They tented a bit, a bead of precum soaking through the fabric.

"You want help with this, kiddo?" Jay asked. Tom hid his face in his hands and nodded. Jay grinned and kissed his boy's bulge before hooking his fingers in the elastic waistband. He tugged them down bit by bit, letting Tom's leaky cock catch the front before it finally slipped free, bouncing straight out in front of him. It twitched every few seconds, and a thick strand of precum hung off like drool.

"Aww, there we go kiddo!" Jay leaned forward and kissed the cockhead, which elicited a little moan. He slid Tom's underwear down to his feet and helped him to step out of them. He stood there fully exposed, beet red and squirming. If it weren't for his obvious arousal, one might even think he wasn't fully into this.

Jay cupped his boyfriend's balls, leaning forward and giving them a small kiss. He kept kissing up the sack, using his face to nudge Tom's cock up continuing on until he reached the frenum. There he darted out his tongue, giving a quick lick and pulling one last moan out of his boy before he stood up. There was one more kiss, this time soft and to the lips, before he stepped back with a loving smile.

"Alright kid, that's enough grownup time. Can you get on the bed for me?"

Tom nodded with a smile and laid down on the soft bed. His cock throbbed in the air, begging for attention, but if he knew Jay it was begging in vain. He watched as Jay opened up the diaper and fluffed it methodically, making sure every inch was just the perfect amount of loose before walking up to Tom.

"There we go kiddo, nice and soft for you! Arch your back for me please, let's make sure this is nice and tight."

Tom did as he was asked, just like he always did. Tom and Jay had gone through this scene so many times it felt more like a rehearsed act than anything. Every motion, every little giggle, even every little teasing remark was the same, or at least similar to, the last time they did it, and every time before then. Right down to Jay rubbing Tom's cock through the powder filled diaper front. Before long he was diapered nice and snug, the liner all tucked in, and a cute onesie pulled over his head and snapped with some difficulty at his crotch.

"Aw, there we are kiddo. How you feeling?"

The gears in Tom's mind were sluggish, slowing down as the ritual pulled him deeper into headspace. It took a moment for him to gather his thoughts. "I uh, I'm feeling good Jay, thank you."

Jay smiled and gave his kid a pat on the head. "You know, I think we've been doing this long enough. You can call me Daddy, little guy... if you want to."

Tom let out a little squeaking noise, blushing bright red and lowering himself to his knees. Just the thought sent shivers down his spine, made his brain all pleasantly foggy and relaxed. "Yes Daddy," he said after a few moments.

God, that was adorable. Tom usually was when they did this. "There we go, kiddo!" he cooed. "Good job bud. Now let's get you out in the living room, we can put on your favorite show and let you just zonk out for a while. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good, Daddy." If Tom could have blushed harder he would have. He took Jay's hand and hoisted himself up to his feet, taking a moment to stabilize himself before waddling behind his boyfriend into the living room.

Though Jay lived on his own and so could afford to really indulge in the lifestyle, unlike Tom, he chose not to. ABDL was but one aspect of his life, and major though it was, it wasn't so major he could transform his house into a playpen. The living room was simply furnished, having only a plush couch, a chair, a large bookshelf, and a small stand with a small CRT tv and a VCR. Jay rolled out a crawl mat that lived behind the couch when they weren't playing: but for that, everything was professional and almost interestingly normal.

"Can, can I watch Bluey?" Tom asked in a small voice as Jay dipped back into the bedroom. He wanted to follow him, but chose instead to crawl onto the mat and rub his diaper bulge a bit. It made such a nice crinkly sound, so easy to get lost in...

A loud thud yanked him out of his diaper-brained trance. Tom looked up to see one of the toy boxes from the closet right in front of him, the slightly more grownup one with matchbox cars and army men. His eyes shone with excitement, and he immediately dove in to explore what was on offer.

"Sorry kid," Jay said. "I don't think you're old enough to get Bluey. We're going to put on something a little more your speed and see where we go from there, okay?"

"Mhmn!" Tom nodded, barely registering the disappointing news as he pulled a giant dinosaur toy out of the tub and started making it fly around, complete with little roars. With his other hand he searched through the box without looking, eventually pulling out... a Woody doll. Maybe... maybe the flying dinoman and Woody were on an adventure!

Jay sighed with a contented smile as he watched his boyfriend melt back into his childhood. It was hard to get him into headspace, but once he was there... it was impressive how much imagination he had. Most adults were far too self conscious to let themselves go like that, but here Tom was, happily giggling as he played out an action movie in his mind.

Alas... Tom was Tommy for now, just a lil guy, but Jay was still Jay, and Jay had some grading to do. He flipped on the television and put on some show about shapes and numbers, and left Tom to his own devices. That should keep him occupied until it was time for him to head home.

---

As Jay worked, Tom relaxed his mind and threw himself as deep into headspace as he dared. He was already in pretty deep, deep enough to genuinely be enjoying his toys and their little game, but there were still things that tripped him up. One of them was the show that Jay put on for him.

"I'm too big for this show," he huffed to himself with crossed arms. Something inside him felt wrong saying that though... like by saying it, he was acknowledging all of this was an act in the end, and he wasn't really small again. That him preferring Bluey over this preschool babble was due to his adult sensibilities throwing up walls. The best way to get into headspace, in Tom's experience, was to push past the awkward feeling and simply act it out. Eventually, you'd be deep in headspace without even realizing what you're doing.

Alright. He may as well give the show a chance. Tom put his toys down and looked up at the screen, trying to figure out what was going on. It was a brightly colored live-action show, one of those ones where all the adults acted like kids and dressed up all funny. It really was kind of funny to see grown-ups all dressed up like kids and clowns and animals... the irony of that thought didn't occur to him.

There was a narrator, too, but he was more monotone than the rest of the show was. It wasn't a bad monotone though - the soft tones relaxed him, lulled him into a sense of security. The shapes and numbers blended together in Tom's mind in a way that was soothing as well... all of this was surprisingly nice.

Perhaps he was wrong to have dismissed it out of hand. It was childish, sure, but wasn't he supposed to be a child? And the show was much more entertaining than he'd assumed, featuring silly voices, lots of music, and a surprisingly large and varied cast. He found himself laughing out loud at some of the antics they got themselves into, and he even found himself mouthing along to the catchy songs!

After the initial surprise enjoyment, Tom stopped questioning these feelings and gave into them. A little part of him knew how weird he looked, but most of his conscious mind was sucked fully into headspace. Episode after episode flashed in Tom's eyes, one after another, and the kid was unaware of the passage of time. Something nagged at his consciousness, something he should do... but he pushed that away. He could do it later! Right now, it was TV time. Soon after he chose to ignore it, the pressure of that 'task' subsided, and he happily forgot about it entirely.

Hours passed with Tom in this state, happily giggling and singing every song. Jay finished grading, but Tom didn't notice when he came out into the room. He didn't notice as the sun moved in the sky, the shadows lengthened and the light dimmed. He didn't hear Jay's chuckle at the state of his boyfriend, the sounds of dinner cooking... nothing, at least, until Jay's gentle tone tugged at him, pulling him slowly out of headspace.

"Do you need a change?" he was asking. "Little Tom, earth to little Tom! Can you hear me?"

As if surfacing from somewhere deep below, Tom shook his head and rubbed his eyes to clear them. Just how long had he been in headspace? A flash of embarrassment at his behavior made him blush, but the feeling passed quickly. After all, this was a safe space. It was a space for him to indulge, and Jay was in on it. No reason to feel embarrassed.

"Tom, are you with me?"

"Huh?" Tom yawned and rubbed his eyes again, finally cognizant of Jay squatting next to him. "Yeah, yeah I'm here, what's up?"

Jay smiled a little and kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "Welcome back, Tom. You were in pretty deep, weren't you?"

Tom nodded with a sheepish grin. "Been a while," he said.

"You must be pretty stressed out about work to go that deep. You didn't notice me standing here, didn't notice me coming out... didn't notice this." Jay reached between Tom's legs and groped the heavy, swollen diaper bulge there. Tom squeaked a bit and blushed, fighting the urge to hide his face in his hands. Was he really that deep?

"Don't worry about it kid, you didn't leak or anything! Besides, it's on me for not checking more often. We can't expect a little guy like you to remember to ask for changes, can we?" Jay tousled Tom's hair and stood up, stretching his back as he did so. "Alright kid, come meet me in the room, let's get you changed."

Tom smiled at Jay as he watched his boyfriend walk away, enjoying the warm feeling of love in his chest. Jay really was a catch... who else would let him explore and relax like this?

With one more yawn, Tom stretched and hoisted himself to his feet. He took one step and almost tripped over the playpen he had been sitting in, catching himself at the last moment. He laughed a bit - stupid headspace fog - but then paused, frowned. A playpen? He wasn't in a playpen... was he?

He straightened up and looked around with a furrowed brow. Something seemed off. Jay's living room looked the same as always... but different. A large foam mat with bright colors lay on the ground, covering the entire floor. Next to the couch was an adult playpen, just a few knee-height fences intended to give the impression of being kept in, but easy enough to get in and out of. Inside the playpen was a wooden box of toys.

All of it felt right. Of course he had a mat out permanently, Tom was over far too often to bother putting it away. And the toys, the playpen, all of it made sense to keep out for when he was over. He could remember playing in them, he remembered each toy. And yet... he didn't remember it. The memories were faint, phantoms, but he remembered something about a regular living room, a plastic tub kept in the closet instead of a wooden one out in the open.

Something made him look up at his keys. They were the same as always, his car and house key dangling off a green carabiner. They felt important... the urge in him grew to reach out and grab them.

"Little Tom!" Jay's voice called from the other room. "You gonna get your soggy butt in here? I don't want you leaking on my couch again, silly!"

"Coming!" Tom called, and waddled down the hall towards Jay's bedroom. All thoughts of his keys or lingering strangeness left him, evaporating like they'd never existed. All that mattered was getting out of those soggy diapers.

"Aww, here's my little champ!" Jay grinned and gave Tom a peck on the forehead. "Alright, you know the drill. Hop on my bed and we'll get you swapped into a new pair of pampers."

Tom squirmed a little at the nicknames but did as he was told, crawling onto the bed and flipping onto his back. Jay set to work, untaping his soggy diaper and getting to work with the wet wipes, making certain to clean every inch of skin there was. The cold wetness of the wipes made him inhale sharply, but he soon got used to it. He laid back and relaxed, moving every once in a while to help Jay out, but mainly soaking in the little vibes.

"Whew, it's a good thing we got to you when we did!" Jay said as he hoisted Tom's heavy diaper in the air. "You were just about to leak. Do you wanna snoof it before I throw it in your pail? You can keep it til I finish putting you in your next diaper."

Of course he did! What kind of question even was that? Jay gave Tom the soggy diaper, which he immediately plopped onto his face. It was so warm and squishy, and gosh, the smell just got him going. And he could have it for a super long time! All the way until he was changed into his... his next diaper.

Wait. Tom struggled through the fog of diaper snoof and baby brain, grasping at a thought. Something seemed off about this. He felt the cold baby powder sprinkle on his balls and cock, felt the crinkle of his next diaper as Jay rubbed it against his groin, spreading the powder around. His next diaper..?

"I-I uh..." Tom's face screwed up as he struggled to hold onto his realization. "Jay, can we stop?"

Jay blinked and took the heavy diaper away from Tom, giving him room to think. "Yeah kid? What's up?"

He was silent for a moment, looking down at himself in confusion. Jay was most of the way through putting on his next diaper: all he needed to do were the tapes. What was the issue with that again?

Oh, right.

"I shouldn't be in a new diaper," Tom said finally.

"Really now?" Jay grinned and chuckled. "Does little Tom think he's too big for them now? Fussing won't get you out of this, mister!"

The urge to giggle and blush overwhelmed Tom, and he almost gave in. It took a few seconds of just breathing and clearing his mind before he could enunciate his thoughts. "No, I... uh, it's late and I should head back home. Work tomorrow and all. And I can't be going in a diaper, someone might see me."

"See you..?" Jay said with a tilt of his head. He furrowed his brows, seeming deep in thought. Finally he shook his head and nodded. "Right. Of course. You got to get home, that's fair enough. We'll get you back in your big boy undies and send ya off."

It felt like a weight left Tom's chest as Jay affirmed his request. It felt strange to not wear a diaper out, but if Jay thought it was normal, it was normal. Everything was normal, and it was just a weird baby brain moment that made him think things were strange. That was all.

Jay helped Tom up and handed him his clothes. Though he offered, Tom insisted on doing it all on his own. Jay seemed a little confused by this as well, but brushed it off with a smile and gave his boyfriend a soft kiss on the lips.

"You get outta here, stud. Just knuckle down at work and you'll get through it. I know you're going to be putting in long hours, but always know you can come by if you need more relaxation time. You got that?"

"Of course hun. You know I appreciate you."

With that, Tom left Jay in his room and stepped out into the living room to collect his keys. He almost hesitated to look at the living room again - would the strange feeling return? - but when he built up his courage and turned his head, everything seemed normal. Playpen and mat just where they've always been, toys scattered about like they usually were.

Everything was normal. Tom smiled and grabbed his keys, whistling as he walked towards his car. He was so lucky to have someone like Jay.

---

Tom shut the front door behind him and let out a long sigh. This time he at least made it to the couch before he slumped down and put his head in his hands, shoes still on. Sweat dripped from his brow onto his pleated jeans.

"You're wet." Jay's comment from the hallway almost made Tom roll his eyes. "Get off the couch, hop in the shower before you drip on your play mat. You know how hard that is to clean! Long day at work?"

Long day was one way to put it. Tom remained on the couch for a few long moments, holding onto his boyfriend's voice and the vanilla scent of his house. He held on to them, let them ground him. Finally, he let out one last sigh and stood up.

"Yeah, long day," Tom said as he walked down the hall, disrobing as he went. Jay took the clothes from him and tossed them in his hamper. At this point they stayed at each other's house so often their laundry was more than mixed. He'd get them back eventually, and until then Jay could wear them. He listened to the water turn on in the bathroom, then the noise of the shower curtain opening and closing.

"Want to talk about it?" Jay asked, and got a noncommittal grunt in reply. Hint taken: Jay busied himself for a few minutes while his boyfriend washed the stress of the day away. There was only one way to help him out of a funk that deep, and there was some prep to do. The two did their own thing for a while, until finally the shower turned off.

Jay gave him a few moments to dry off before opening the door. He poked his head in with a grin, taking the chance to drink in his boyfriend's body. "Feel better?" he asked.

Tom nodded, though he didn't turn from the mirror as he fixed his still-damp hair. "Much better," he agreed. "Another long day, got a surprise presentation sprung on me. Probably should work on it today, I've got to have it ready by Friday."

"Can't it wait until tomorrow?" Jay asked. "It's only Wednesday, I'm sure you can knock it out tomorrow after work. No need to stress about it today."

What a concept. 'No need' to stress. Tom chuckled under his breath and sighed. "If I don't do it today, I'll spend all day worrying about it anyways. It's not like anxiety is something you can just turn off. Not even to enjoy the company of my wonderful boyfriend."

He had a point. Jay sighed and nodded. "That's fair enough, kiddo... but maybe you can take a little relaxation time before you get started." Tom blushed at the implied suggestion, but didn't say no. He tried again. "C'mon, I'm sure you'll feel refreshed after a little relaxation... little Tom."

The blush deepened. "I don't know these things," Tom protested ineffectually. "No idea what you mean." Still, he turned around to find Jay holding up a onesie, a diaper and a pacifier. He squirmed at his boy's silence, the embarrassment of the situation increasing with his need to give in. Finally, he took the pacifier with a good-natured grumble and popped it in his mouth.

"Aw, there's my good boy!" Jay grinned and took Tom's hand, leading him to the bedroom to get him in his proper outfit.

Tom instinctually went to start unbuttoning his shirt, but Jay stopped that with a gentle but firm hold on his wrist. "Not this time," he said in a chiding tone. He began to unbutton Tom's shirt and pants, tugging them off with a little help from the blushing boy. "I let you take off your clothes like a big boy yesterday, but today calls for something a little more your age, don't you agree?"

It was hard for him not to: when Jay put him in this headspace, everything he said sounded like a good idea. He couldn't say it out loud, though, so simply complied when Jay asked him to raise his arms or step out of his pants and undies. Very quickly he stood nude in front of his boyfriend once again, holding his arms close to his chest and blushing bright red, cock rock hard and throbbing in the air.

"Aw, don't I wish I could keep you like this," Jay teased. "But if I left you like this, you'd make a mess everywhere! Kids like you need diapers, don't you?" Tom nodded with a little whine. "That's right. Now get your tush on the bed kid, let's get you padded up and out in the living room with your toys and playpen.

The diaper change went quick, and before Tom knew it he was thickly padded and wearing the cutest autumn-patterned onesie. Were these diapers thicker than before? He remembered them being a little thinner yesterday... wait. Wasn't he supposed to pick out his diapers and onesie? On one hand, he remembered picking out plain diapers and a normal onesie yesterday, but it didn't make sense that Jay would let him choose his own clothes. That was a grownup thing, and he was just a kid right now!

"Something wrong, kiddo?" Jay asked, noticing his boyfriend's furrowed brow. Tom shook his head, clearing it of confusion even as he denied he had the mix-up in the first place. It was just baby brain, nothing more and nothing less.

"Alright, good to hear kid. Remember you can tell Daddy whenever something's wrong. Now, let's get you all set up!"

It was a familiar and comforting routine at this point: Dadd- er, Jay led Tom out to the livingroom by the hand, giving his diaper bulge a teasing grope before lifting him into the adult sized playpen. He gave the big kid a juicebox, a cookie ('Make sure not to leave crumbs', Jay warned in vain), and then flipped the tv to Tom's favorite show. He couldn't remember a time before this little routine: ever since Jay invested in the mat and playpen, this had always been what they had done.

"All set, kid?" Jay asked as he leaned on the edge of the pen. Tom nodded with a happy smile, nucking on his pacifier and taking out his favorite dinosaur plushie and cowboy action figure. Jay gave him an encouraging nod and a kiss on the top of his head. He had a little cleaning to do, but he set a timer on his phone to get Tom out of headspace in time to work on his presentation. His little man was doing so well at work!

He left Tom to his own devices, heading to the kitchen to get a start on the dishes. Tom barely noticed his absence, absorbed as he was in his toys and the funny show on the television. All the stresses of his life and work left him, and for a glorious few hours, he achieved pure little space. Not a single worry penetrated the bab-bubble he put up around his mind, and all was well in the world.

Too quickly, the alarm on Jay's phone rang, and he crouched next to the playpen to try and gently pull Tom out of headspace once more.

"Hey," he whispered. "Hey buddy. Tom. How ya doin, bud?"

Tom blinked and looked at Jay, surprised to see him there. How long had he been crouching? "Doin good," he said with a wide smile. "Me an Charlie - he's the dino - me an Charlie are watching the show, they can't find MacDoodle's giant favorite pencil!"

God, the kid just made Jay's heart melt. He couldn't help but grin at the pure innocence in front of him... alas, he had a job to do. "That's great buddy... but it's time to wake up."

"Wake up?" Tom blinked in confusion. "But... but I'm not napping yet!" Come to think of it, he was getting rather dozy. Maybe a nap wasn't a bad idea...

"Of course not silly," Jay chuckled. "But you got to wake your grownup self back up. You have to get going if you're gonna make the bus."

"Oh." Right. Grown-up Tom had things to do, something about making a present... a presentation? Though everything in him wanted to resist, the pull of adulthood was stronger than whatever juvenile protests he had. "Right. Gotta catch the bus, just... just give me a second."

Jay was happy to give Tom a little time to catch back up to reality. It was really cute how deep he could get in such a short time, and honestly it was even cuter to watch the kid-brained Tom concentrate long and hard to make it back to adult-brained Tom. It took a while, but soon enough Tom gave a little sigh and stood up. "I'm back," he said with a little regret.

"There we are," Jay said as he stood up. "Nice to have you back, Tom. Did you have a good time?"

Tom nodded with another sheepish grin. It was still embarrassing to embrace it, but at least he knew Jay would never judge him for it. "I had a great time... stupid real life, making me grow up. But uh..."

But what? Jay tipped his head as Tom blushed and squirmed. His boyfriend rarely got like this, but when he did it was best to let him build up the courage to say or ask whatever it was on his own. Tom hemmed and hawed, starting and stopping a few times before finally taking a deep breath to calm himself.

"Would you... would you mind if, I mean... would it be okay if I wore these home?" Tom asked. Seeing the expression on Jay's face he immediately clarified, "I mean, wear my onesie and diaper but put my grownup clothes over them, to hide them. Would that be okay?"

"Well of course kid," Jay said, "but um... shouldn't we change you first? You can't go on the bus smelling like that, can ya?"

Smelling like what? Tom sniffed the air and smelled nothing. Did he not shower enough after work? Only after a few moments did it occur to him to check his diaper. He reached down and squished the front of his padding: wet, as usual, but not stinky. His hand wandered to his rear, gently groped, and... squished something.

Tom turned red. "I-I didn't even notice," he whimpered. "I didn't notice I messed myself."

Jay laughed and shook his head. "Of course you didn't kiddo, you never do! Now come on, let's get you ready to go."

He followed Jay into his room like always, quiet as the realization played in his head over and over again. He'd loaded his diapers up without even noticing, and he was so blind to the smell he had to have Jay remind him how stinky he was! It felt like the first time this had ever happened, but the way Jay was speaking, this was normal for him. Was it? It didn't seem like it, but at the same time, he remembered time and time again Jay having to remind him to change before they went out in public.

While he ruminated, Jay gave Tom a quick, professional change, having him back in fresh crinkly diaper in no time flat. Normally he liked to take his time with the process, enjoying the intimacy with his boyfriend that it necessarily gave, but Tom had ten minutes to leave if he were going to catch the bus home.

"Alright bud," Jay said. He grabbed Tom's hand and helped him to his feet, and then helped him back into his grownup clothes. By the time they were finished, Tom looked like a regular grownup. Sure, his crotch poofed out a little and there was a bit of a crinkle with every step, but those were things no one would notice unless they knew what to look for. And at that point... they likely weren't going to judge.

"Thanks for letting me indulge again," Tom said before giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. Jay held Tom's hand and pulled him forward, planting a firm kiss on his lips before gently pushing him towards the door.

"Always, diaper boy. You know I love it as much as you do. Now get going, or you're going to miss the bus again."

Tom took a step forward out of habit and grabbed his keys... then paused. Something was off again, like it was yesterday. His carabiner had two keys on it, his house key and... and a light blue plastic key, like the kind you gave babies to chew on. Where was his car key?

"...say, uh, Jay. Is my car in the shop?"

Jay gave a confused smile. "Your... car? You don't have a car silly, you haven't as long as I'd known you. Driving stresses you out, you take the bus everywhere."

That didn't sound right at all. He'd gotten his first car at 15, he loved his car! It was a... a Toyota C- er... not a Toyota, a Ford? A... a Dodge? What was his car again?

He looked around slowly, trying to ground himself. The living room was the same as always, with the colorful crawl mat, his toys and his play pen. The kitchen was normal, and so was the dining room, a small, circular table with just enough room to sit four if you were willing to be crowded, and three actual wooden chairs. Everything was normal.

His keys. He looked down at the keys in his hand, studying them long and hard. His house key looked normal... but the other key didn't. He could envision a bulky keyfob there, with all those buttons that... that unlocked the car? And one made the trunk open? At the same time, the light blue key was growing more and more familiar. He could remember Jay getting it for him, a reminder of their connection. It was a 'key to your heart' sorta thing: Jay had his own, hanging up on the hook just feet away.

That was... that was normal. As soon as he said those words in his mind, the tense feeling left him, and Tom smiled and sighed. Everything was normal.

"You okay, hun?"

Tom straightened up and nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay, just had a weird moment. Gotta go, I'm going to be late for the bus!"

Without further delay Tom slipped his shoes on and dashed out the door, making it to the stop just as the bus approached. He gave the driver the monthly pass in his wallet as he boarded, and took his usual seat at the back of the bus. Of course he always rode the bus, why else would he have a monthly pass?

As he took a crinkly seat, he looked down at the slight bulge in his pants and grinned. Thank goodness Jay caught his dirty diaper before he left. He couldn't imagine stinking up a public place like that. He was so lucky to have him around.

---

Tom shut the door behind him with a long sigh. It was much later than usual, so late in fact that the sun had already gone down. He kicked off his shoes and sunk down against the door, no energy to make his way to the couch.

Jay poked his head out of the kitchen. "You're late. Good progress on the presentation I hope?"

"Yeah, I guess. I should be able to finish it tomorrow before I head in. No time to take a second look at it, but it'll be good enough, right?"

"I'm sure it will. You're doing so good with your career kid, of course it'll go well. You just need to relax. Luckily, I got the thing for it!"

Tom couldn't help but grin. He'd been thinking of nothing but Jay's cooking since that morning, when Jay texted him with an invite. Taking care of him was one of the ways Jay showed affection, including simple things like just cooking dinner. The plan was alfredo chicken pasta, a staple in Jay's rotation and Tom's favorite food.

"Almost done, I hope?" Tom said. He got up and stretched, then plodded the few feet to the couch and plopped down. His afternoon diaper crinkled just a bit, meaning it was damp but not soaked. He rubbed it a little before sliding out of his pants and shirt. It felt right to be wearing nothing but the onesie and diapers he wore under his clothes each day.

"Not trying to rush or anything, I just came hungry is all."

"You're a growing boy," Jay teased. "Of course you're hungry. Don't worry, I made enough for you to get your fill."

You, not us? Tom puzzled at the strange choice in words, but chose to dismiss it. The last few days have been filled with him being confused over normal things, it was best to just let it be. Instead he closed his eyes and relaxed, drooling over the alfredo already. His hand slid to his crotch out of habit, softly crinkling his padding. The noise and feeling kept him calm, but it was a habit he tried to avoid in public nowadays. Jay had been helping him with that, too.

The scents coming from the kitchen were a little strange. There was the creamy scent of scratch alfredo sauce, but mixed in was a hint of something definitely cheesy and artificial. Maybe Jay used a powder packet this time, or a different kind of cheese as the base?

"Alright, dinner's ready! Get your crinklebutt to the table!" Jay called from the kitchen. Excitement rushed through Tom as he shot to his feet, practically sprinting to the table - and then nearly stumbling as he stopped in surprise. There were two chairs at the table instead of the usual three. They were the same wooden model he remembered. One of them was normal, but the other had an oversized booster seat, complete with straps to keep its occupant from getting up on their own.

Surely, that wasn't right. Right? Maybe it was something Jay did as a surprise, a way to get him into headspace. That made sense... and besides, it was better to let these things roll off him like water. No sense in getting worked up over something that always felt right by the end.

"Need help getting in, kid?" Jay asked. Tom jumped: he hadn't heard him come in. His boyfriend laughed and gave Tom a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his hand. "Alright, hop up and I'll get you strapped in."

Tom complied with a puzzled silence, something Jay misinterpreted as embarrassment. The seat was a little high up, and his boyfriend had to help him hoist up there and scooch to the back. Jay pulled the seat strap tight over his waist and buckled it in, then gave Tom's diaper a little grope before disappearing back into the kitchen. "I'll have to change that before you leave, kiddo," he said.

'Before you leave'. Jay had a point: there was no way he didn't flood it to leaking before he left, and he couldn't stay long. It was dinner, maybe a tv show and then back home for him. Compulsion forced him to look back at the key hooks by the door. His keys hung there as normal, one house key and one plastic blue toy on his metal carabiner. That seemed right.

"Here we are buddy, dinner's served!" Jay came out with a big grin and two big bowls of steaming pasta. Tom's stomach growled and he swallowed back drool, eyes like lasers on the food. God, he was looking forward to this so much!

Jay set his own bowl down first. It was a heaping helping of homemade chicken alfredo, just like Tom was looking forward to. It didn't look any different, so why the weird cheddar cheese smell? It didn't matter though, as long as it tasted good.

He got his answer regardless. Jay set Tom's bowl in front of him: a huge helping of Kraft Mac and Cheese. Tom blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes and looked again. Still Mac and Cheese. Even worse, while Jay's chicken alfredo was in one of the nice bowls and came with a set of real utensils, his was in a plastic blue bowl and had a small kid's spoon inside. He picked it up and inspected it.... The spoon had a plastic cover on the end to protect his teeth.

"Dig in kid! Hope ya like it." Jay sat down at his own bowl, oblivious of Tom's disoriented and confused stare. Surely this isn't right, is it? None of this felt right - or, well, it felt good, so it didn't feel 'wrong' exactly, but it didn't feel like this was how things were supposed to be. He glanced back at his keys for some reason: they were exactly as they were supposed to be, a metal home key and plastic toy key.

A few moments passed in silence as Jay dug in and Tom stared at his food. Was this a joke? Everything in him wanted the alfredo. He'd been looking forward to it all day, why was he just getting mac and cheese? An unfamiliar feeling built up in him. He resisted it, but he wanted to pout and toss his spoon on the table. Still, he couldn't bring himself to start eating. Should he bring it up with Jay? Jay would never do something to frustrate him, maybe he didn't know?

Jay looked up to see how Tom was getting along, only to see him staring sullenly at his food. "You alright, bud?" he asked.

Tom looked up, startled as Jay's voice brought him out of his stewing. "Oh um, I... well, I was just expecting, I mean... I mean I'm grateful you cooked for me, but I was just hoping I could get..."

He trailed off. For some reason it felt weird to say it out loud. But why shouldn't he get the alfredo?

His boyfriend stared in confused silence, but then broke out in a grin. "Oh! I get it. Little Tom want a bite of Daddy's food?"

Tom's ears flushed red, and he nodded. Well, he wanted more than a bite, but the kiddush feeling blossoming in his chest kept him from saying so.

"Don't worry kiddo, I know you wanna try big boy food again. But last time you didn't finish the chicken because you thought it was too hard, and the noodles felt weird. So tell ya what, if you finish all your mac and cheese, I'll give you a bite from my bowl and see how you like it.

In what world would he not finish his alfredo? Tom opened his mouth to say as much to Jay, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice, but before he could breathe a syllable it occurred to him what was going on. Of course Jay didn't think Tom only ate soft, mushy food. But Jay knew it was going to be a difficult day for him, and so he went the extra mile to pull him into little space, give him a little respite. Hence the booster seat, the kid utensils, and the mac and cheese.

He closed his mouth. Truthfully he'd rather have had the alfredo, but Jay went out of his way to make him feel good, and everything up to the food - booster, bowl, all of it - did make him feel little and loved. It wouldn't hurt to skip the alfredo for once, and knowing Jay there'd be a big boy bowl in the fridge for him, ready to take home that night.

"I'd like that," he said finally. Jay smiled and nodded in satisfaction before going back to his own food. He watched his boyfriend eat for a few moments before finally turning his attention back to the mac in front of him.

Tom picked up the spoon. It felt small in his hands, but that just made him feel small in general. He couldn't help but grin a little. He'd never gone so far as to bab out while eating, so this would be a new experience. He dipped the spoon into the warm, gooey mac and cheese and started to eat.

It surprised him how difficult it was to eat with a baby spoon. Try as he might, he could only get three for four noodles on the spoon at once, and they liked to fall off when the spoon was anything other than completely level - and Tom was having a weirdly hard time keeping it that way. It must have been the plastic cover. He kept spilling noodles and cheese back into his bowl, or worse, onto his belly and chest.

After a few incidents like this, he ended up hunching over the bowl and practically shoveling it in. It was messier in a way, smearing cheese all over his lips and chin, and a few times he ended up picking the noodles up with his hands to make sure they didn't fall. All of it helped to pull him back into little space, and he embraced how right it felt to be messy, to not worry about adult things and just enjoy the mushy texture and taste of his food.

Jay smiled a bit and watched Tom go at it, keeping his comments to himself as not to risk pulling Tom out of headspace. It was so nice to see him completely at ease with his baby brain, not taking a moment for self consciousness. It had to be a sign of deep comfort to do something like that in front of your boyfriend, and was a sign to Jay that his and Tom's relationship was stronger than ever.

It took a few minutes, but Tom finally emptied the bowl of all but a few noodles, the last of which wouldn't stay on the spoon at all. He resorted to using his hands, scooping them up and dropping them into his mouth. A few missed, tumbling down his face and onto the floor, but that was a problem for Jay to take care of later.

"All done?" Jay asked. Tom jumped a little, but then gave a wide, messy grin.

"All done! It tasted really, really good."

"Aww, I'm glad to hear kiddo! I saved you a bite. You wanna try Daddy's alfredo?"

Try his alfredo? Tom blinked. He'd forgotten about the chicken alfredo completely at this point. Honestly, he was rather full, but it felt like a waste to turn it down. Besides, he 'did' love it. He peered into Jay's bowl and saw there really was only one spoonful left: two chicken chunks, a sizable noodle, and some peas.

"I'd uh... yes please."

Jay smiled and grabbed his spoon, scraping up the last of his dinner and raising it to Tom's mouth. "Alright kiddo, open wide!" Though Tom blushed a bit, he opened his mouth and let Jay feed him the last spoonful of dinner.

The taste exploded across Tom's taste buds. It tasted just as great as he'd remembered, despite the cheese still on his palate... but then he frowned a little. It felt strange in his mouth. The mac and cheese had been pleasantly soft, and he barely had to chew before swallowing it down. The texture of the egg noodles were chunkier, a little chewier, and the chicken lent a weird firmness to it all. He chewed slowly, fighting the urge to spit it out. After a few moments he swallowed.

"All gone!" He said.

And so it was. "Good job kiddo, I'm proud of you! It's good to try grownup food sometimes, though I did see you didn't like it. Good job not spitting it out!"

The praise made Tom blush, half because it made the ABDL fantasy stronger... but half because it felt genuine. He did such a good job not spitting it out! He really did want to after all, didn't he?

"Alright kid, let's get you cleaned up. Can't have you riding the bus home all messy with mac and cheese, can we?"

Oh right. The bus. Somehow that had slipped Tom's mind. He smiled and nodded as Jay unhooked him from the booster seat, and followed obediently as he led him to the bath. It was so nice not to think of it for a while...

Once there, Jay started the water, poured in the bubble bath and helped Tom out of his clothes. He tossed them in a hamper Tom had never noticed before, one suspiciously full of food-stained onesies. That struck him as odd, but he let the strange feeling roll over him and wash away: no reason to think too much about it.

"Alright kiddo, is the water good?" Jay asked.

Tom toddled to the bath and dipped a toe in, hissing in surprise at the warmth. Jay leaned forward and turned the water cooler: after a few moments, Tom could dip his whole foot in. Jay switched off the water and helped Tom in the tub. Noodles and cheese washed off in the water.

He blushed a bit, presented with evidence of his messiness directly. "Guess I got carried away a bit," he said.

"Did you now?" Jay said as he grabbed a washcloth. "I dunno, I think you did pretty good today. Maybe soon we won't even need to wash you after dinner every time!"

Jay's gentle praise made Tom's heart skip a beat. He knew he'd never done something like this before, but it felt like a genuine compliment. He smiled and nodded. "I did really good!" he said. There was no reason not to live in the moment.

Jay and Tom made conversation as they worked on getting him clean. The last episode of Tom's show was a really exciting one - they introduced a new character! Jay dutifully listened as his boyfriend listed off the character's name, appearance, favorite color and every single thing he liked to do (as established by his introductory episode). "Is that so?" he'd interject every once in a while. "Wow, that's exciting! Tell me more?" All the while he worked on getting him squeaky clean.

"So, how's school kiddo?" It was near the end of the bath. The water was getting a little cold, and Tom had exhausted both his knowledge of the new character and the entertainment value of bubble beards with lots of splashing.

"Oh, umm... it's haaard." Tom answered readily. Obviously Jay meant work, and was just saying school to keep the illusion going. "I got lots to do, and I got a lotta people to make happy. It makes me all tired and stuff."

"Mhmn," Jay nodded. He had Tom stand up as he pulled the plug, and the two watched the tub drain for a few moments. The vortex was fun to look at as it grew, sucking all the water down into the pipes below. The level slowly fell, bit by bit, the vortex drinking more and more greedily. Soon, the vortex swallowed even itself, disappearing down the drain with a gurgle and only some bubble residue was left.

"Do you like school?" Jay asked suddenly.

Tom didn't answer for a few moments. "I wish I didn't hafta go to school. It's hard and makes me sad a lot. But I'm doing super good... and plus, you kinda hafta go to school, right?"

"Yeah, you do," Jay agreed quietly. They stood there a few moments in the silence, lost in their thoughts. Jay leaned forward and gave Tom a soft kiss on the lips, lingering for a while. When he finally pulled back, he handed Tom a towel. "C'mon kid. It's time to dry off. Back to reality."

Back to reality.

He watched as Jay left the bathroom, closing the door behind him to give Tom some privacy. Back to reality... Tom dried off with the towel, then took a few minutes to decompress. Whatever he told Jay, he really wasn't sure he could manage the presentation in time. He'd get through it at this point, but impressing his superiors might have been out of the question. If he didn't get this right, it could set him back by years.

Well. Nothing to do but try. And to try, he had to go back to reality.

Tom stepped out into the hall and made his way to the living room to get his clothes. They lay crumpled in a pile on the couch. He grabbed his shirt and slid it on, started buttoning it up. Something was off again, but not necessarily in a bad way. Things just felt... different.

He looked up at his keys. There they were, same as always. A house key and a plastic toy.

He blinked. Now there were two plastic keys, hung not on his metal carabiner but a plastic ring. He blinked again, and they were back to normal. Then two metal keys, his home and car keys. Back to both plastic. Then one plastic, one home key.

A sense of confusion should have washed over him. Horror maybe. Was he going crazy? Was he seeing things, or worse, were his keys really blinking between states of being? He should have panicked, or at the very least wondered a little bit what was going on. But he did none of those things.

Instead, he just felt calm. Accepting. He didn't know why, but every time he looked at his keys they were different. And that was okay. Why were they changing?

He finished buttoning his shirt, and slid on his pants. The keys blinked again, still switching between versions, but more often than not they were both metal, his home and car keys. Experimentally, he unbuttoned his shirt. They went back to switching between versions at a more even distribution.

"Kiddo!" Jay's voice called from his bedroom. "What are you doing out there? It's time to get in your PJs! Do you want the dino ones or the one with the cars?"

Memories flashed in his mind of wearing those pajamas every night. They were his favorite ones, he liked to look at the designs as he dozed off. At the same time, he remembered the onesies he wore at his house. And the loose, silk pajamas he also wore at his house. So many different options.

He glanced at the door. He could walk out there right now. Grab his keys and take his car home. Or maybe take the bus? He had the option to do either.

"You good out here, little Tom?" Jay walked out from his room and placed a hand on Tom's shoulder. "Where are you going to?"

Where was he going? "Well, I have to work on the presentation, don't I?" he asked uncertainly. "At home?"

Jay raised his eyebrows. "Presentation? I don't recall you working on a presentation here. Presentation for who, exactly?" He grinned a bit. "Are you going to surprise me with a rundown on your favorite cartoons? Or maybe that new guy you were talking about in the bath?"

Tom was silent for a long time, just thinking. Jay waited patiently for a response. Was he aware Tom was making a choice? Was he part of it, or was he as liable to change as the keys were? As everything else was? Three sets of keys... were there three Jays? He didn't know... but he did know that, one Jay or three, every version of him loved Tom and would support whatever decision he made.

"...nothin'," he finally said. "I was just making pretend and stuff. Can you tell me a bedtime story?"

Jay smiled and tousled his boyfriend's hair. "Of course, kid. Come on, show me which one you want me to read."

The two boyfriends walked to their bedroom, hand in hand. As they turned into the doorway, Tom shot one last glance towards his keys. Two plastic keys hung on a plastic ring, just toys. As he closed the door behind them, he smiled. Just toys. Just like they'd always been.

Without a worry in his mind, Tom snuggled down into bed with his boyfriend, nuzzling against his chest before resting in the crook of his left arm. Jay smiled and gave Tom one last kiss on the head, before opening a book with his right hand. "Alright, remind me where we left off last night?"

Tom smiled and remembered.