FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"Alright, pup," said the spotted doe, stalking down the hall in front of us. "Time to show your colors. I hope you're as good as you're reported to be."

Earlier, we'd showered in the level's bathroom, avoiding the occasional stare at our sex-smell. Shadow looked well-satisfied, taking a sniff of my neck and grinning. It was wonderful to be clean and have flushing toilets again. That swish and chuk-chuk of working toilets... so fulfilling.

We had finished 'wolfing' and 'foxing' down breakfast when the doe and a familiar grumpy fox commanded our presence. I still didn't know the military doe's name, and it seemed a bad time to ask. Down another gray hall, descending to another floor of the complex, we went.

The doe stopped in front of a door. "Tyler Evans, enter the room. Your... friend may wait outside."

Kedders opened the gray door, leading the way into a grayer room. I didn't know what the tests would do, and I didn't want to ruin my stuff. Pulling out my photo, cat angel, and zombie kitty, I passed them to Shadow. He put them in his trusty backpack, slipping the strap over his shoulder with a nod.

I stared from the doorway. In the little room was a chair and all manner of devices and sensors attached. The wombat from the previous night was off to the side, adjusting what must be the output readers. It all looked slick, and high tech, and sloppy with cords, and-

"I- I can't," I said without thinking. Sudden panic at all the contraptions, all the data.

What would they learn about me? What could they read off those? My thoughts? Would they be able to tell I'd been with Shadow? More than that, what if its output said I was useless? What then?

Wait, what if it read I was truly linked with the Curtain? They might take me away, might lock me up forever. What-

Arms came around me, hugging me from behind. "You can do this," said the wolfy voice. "I know you can. Just relax, Foxy. You'll be out of there soon."

My clenching paw reached up to grip onto the wolfy arm. I felt my very life and soul depended on him.

"Any day now, Mr. Evans?" blabbed Kedders.

"Shush your hole, Kedders," said the wombat scientist. "I don't need you giving him stress. It might throw the results. You never know."

"Fine," gruffed the big fox.

"Please. Call me Tyler," I asked, looking between all the strangers around me.

Shadow's grip on me loosened, and his paws dropped away from me. "I'll wait right outside," he said with his own nervous smile.

I nodded, allowing myself to be guided to the chair. The door closed before my Wulf's watchful eyes. I knew he'd barge in if he heard anything to worry him.

I sat in the chair and waited. The wombat muttered to himself about damn feathers and stupid-ass mammals while placing each and every sensor on me. I had sensors glued to my scalp and tucked into my fur all over my body. One even went into my muzzle. Really!?

The wombat told me to be still, but my leg jiggled in my nervousness. What was supposed to happen? What was I supposed to do? Nothing had been explained.

I pulled the sensor out of my muzzle, "What do I-"

"Ah, don't remove it!" the wombat scampered close and shoved the metal rod back into my muzzle.

"Just hold still, Mr. Evans. The test doesn't take long," Kedders said from the corner, where he monitored the whole ridiculous scene.

"Whaaw?" I tried to say around the metal rod.

The wombat sighed, "Mr. Evans-"

"Pyrrehr," I said, attempting my name.

"Tyler," the wombat corrected. "This is the first of three possible tests. This one is the straightforward one... well, from our end. Please sit still and remain calm. You'll be out of here in a few minutes."

I nodded, my eyes wide. I wasn't sure how much I believed the little brown fur. The beady eyes on the marsupial scanned me. When he was satisfied, he went over to the wide bank of readers.

The wombat nodded. "Just a moment...."

My ears screeched with sound, or it seemed like sound. I yelped, my skin stinging and fur standing on end. The sound stopped. I blinked, trying to rid myself of the lingering discomfort and the tears coming from my eyes.

"Good, good." The wombat adjusted something. "Let's try it this way."

I only twinged in discomfort that time. I glared at the wombat, instinct calling for me to retaliate on my aggressor. I could hear Shadow's low growl from outside the door.

The 'test' continued with different feelings and different sounds. Some sounds I had a hard time telling if I was hearing them or feeling them in my bones.

I felt drained when the wombat announced the end of the test. I was wide-eyed and a bit overwhelmed walking out the door, thinking hours had gone by.

Shadow pulled me into his arms, sniffing into my fur. "You smell weird."

I managed a weak smile. Our hug ended, but I kept one wolfy paw in mine. Kedders grabbed my arm, starting to pull me down the hall, but when I resisted he was interrupted by my Wulf's growl.

"Just- Slow down, Mr. Kedders," I pleaded. "My head feels funny after all that."

"Still more tests," said the wombat, popping out the door behind us.

I shook my head. "What is your name anyway?" I asked, feeling frustrated.

"I told you. It's Moore."

I shook my head again, pretty sure he'd not told me before. We followed Kedders when he made an impatient gesture. A few doors later, we stopped again. I gulped, hoping the next test wasn't too bad.

The door opened. Inside was a clear-walled tank of water. The feather from last night was there, checking some kind of read-out.

"That's him?" the eagle asked.

"Yes, Galena." Kedders gestured to me. "Tyler Evans for a test."

The feather made a whistling huff. I didn't know what it meant, but the name suggested the feather was female. Didn't she remember me from the previous night?

Shadow waited outside the door which had not quite shut, due to a wolf toe. I hid a smile; Shadow would monitor the situation. There was little trust for us to share among such brusque and grumpy furs.

The feather and wombat bickered while connecting me to new sensors. I stared at the tank, wondering what it was for. I found out when firm wombat paws shoved a breathing apparatus over my head. It was uncomfortable, even after the adjustments the marsupial made.

I hesitated when directed to climb into the tank, being unfamiliar with this. I was a weak swimmer, and my idea of fun was not what I was facing. I shook my head, but the feather made a sharp gesture.

"This is a required test, fox," Galena said. "Fluff out and step in. You're a fur, don't you love the water?"

I shook my head, taking a steadying breath, suddenly wanting Shadow. I must do the test. I must.

Slipping into the tank, my body was supported by the salty water. I clenched around the muzzle-piece and took desperate breaths.

"Calm down," snapped Galena in my inserted earbud. "Calm breaths, or you will throw the results off."

I closed my eyes, trying to stay calm. Vibrations came through the water.

"Don't touch the edges of the tank," said Moore.

It was disorienting, not being able to touch something while keeping my eyes closed. The test took longer than the first. Different vibration tones and electric feelings went through me.

When they pulled me from the water, I was shaking in distress and whimpering. Shadow swung open the door with a wild look on his face; Kedders was there too, looking pissed. Clearly, they'd been arguing.

"Enough," my Wulf growled at the two scientists, who were rapidly discussing the results in low voices.

I couldn't follow what the two were talking about, my mind was a mess, even as Shadow drew me in for a grounding hug. Was it all over? No. There was one test remaining. Couldn't I just go to sleep or something? Just cuddle with Shadow and-

"How'd he do?" asked the doe, stepping into the room.

"Wonderful!" said a grinning Moore. "He has a high testing aptitude with what we know of the Event. He still has the third test."

"Hmmph. Don't envy him that one," said the doe.

"Neither do I," said Galena, with a breathy whistle.

"What does that mean?" I asked from Shadow's arms.

"What it means, dear pup," said Moore, "is that the third test is rather miserable."

"Agreed," said the brown eagle, eyes blinking strangely.

I blinked. "Um... could I try another day?" I asked.

The doe frowned at me. "You wish to wait another day on our research to end all of this? You want to let society tear itself apart an extra day before any attempt can be made to put us all back together?"

I hunched down. "No, ma'am," I mumbled.

"What was that?" she huffed.

Might as well bite the bullet. I could do it. Gathering myself straighter, I cleared my throat. "No, Ma'am."

"Hmmm. You may call me Lisa."

I blinked. "Okay?"

She gave me a confusing glare. With a sigh, she said, "This way. You'll meet with the other Listeners while you wait for the third test."

"There are more?" I asked, not sure if I believed the rumors.

"Yes. A few...." Her look was guarded, and she turned away to stalk back down the hall before I could see more.

Galena and Moore stayed in the test room, arguing with each other and oblivious to anyone else. More scientists converged to get whatever updates the two might have gleaned from my body.

Ugh.

Shadow and I were led by Kedders and Lisa to a larger, gray room. Three furs waited inside.

They sat apart at different tables, not looking up from their quiet activities. A rabbit read a book, a cheetah drew on a table's bare surface, and a porcupine ate chips. All three were pretty young; none looked older than mid 20s. The three looked up at our entering group, not startled until they saw Shadow and me.

"A new one?" asked the rabbit, her delicate nose wiggling in excitement.

The young cheetah looked up from where her nose almost touched her drawing. She blinked in our general direction, smiling. Her eyes didn't meet or even come close to mine.

The porcupine grunted. "More fodder for the Event light."

Lisa gestured Shadow and me inside. "This is a new Listener, Tyler. His wolf friend accompanies him by exception. Please confer among yourselves on anything you noticed from the last solution attempt."

Lisa and Kedders stalked away down the hall, leaving Shadow and me standing without any further directions. Only the rabbit seemed interested in greeting us.

The little white rabbit stepped forward. "I'm Daisy. I know it's a cliché name, but it was my great-grandmother's. Family tradition ya know."

At my nod, she grinned, taking up my paw in her own and dragging me further into the room. Shadow didn't appreciate her style of welcoming, and grumbled as he followed.

"So I'm Daisy, I got here a few days ago. Pekkins if the Porcupine; he's been here the longest - the grouch! And the cheetah is Terri; she doesn't see too well."

"I'm Tyler," I said, "and this is Shadow. They let him in with me."

"Mate," said Shadow, pointedly.

I blushed, grinning when Daisy's look turned fascinated.

"They let you?" the rabbit asked. "Maybe they think you can help a lot or something? Otherwise, they would have tossed you out already."

"You do the tests?" said the cheetah from the next table, looking near us, but not at us.

I grimaced, sitting at an empty table and gesturing Shadow to sit also. "Just went through two tests. Didn't like them."

"Not the third?" The porcupine adjusted to a look of interest.

The bunny huffed. "That's Pekkins. Don't mind him. He's been here the longest. Made him all kinds of prickly."

"Haha," spoke Pekkins in a monotone. "I've seen 'em come and go. We just lost Callie."

A dark silence fell on the three furs. I didn't understand. How many could have 'come and gone' seeing as it was only a few weeks since the start of everything? How were they lost? Unconscious in a coma? Were they dead?

"It won't be long 'till the next one of you goes," continued the prickly fur. "We're fine down here, but these scientists have no idea what they're doing."

"Then why are you still here?" snapped Daisy, still standing near us. "You can leave."

Pekkins shook his head. "The scientists may be idiots down here, but outside of here is definitely worse for my health. And complexion," he added with an orangey, buck-toothed grin.

"Shut it," mumbled out the cheetah, Terri.

The other two fell silent. Shadow and I stared at the trio. Daisy sat back down at her table, and the other two ignored us. Watching each do their best to ignore the other two, reminded me of friendlier times with Burt, Jennifer, and Howard.

Shadow and I didn't have familiar furs with us any more, leaving us adrift in the social scheme of the base. Where did we fit in? Would we make friends of these furs or more adversaries? Would we even be around long enough to make a difference?

Diasy sighed, watching Shadow sit there, solidified in hesitation with his arms around his backpack. "What are you two, sticks in the mud? Speak."

She looked at our nervous faces, lips quirked in humor. She leaned forward, elbows on her table and her muzzle resting on her paws.

Daisy said, "Don't worry so much. How are you ever going to enjoy yourselves if you just stress over the little things?"

Was I missing something? The world outside was chaos, furs were dying, everything was getting worse. I was supposed to do something to make a difference. Of course I would stress.

Shadow was nodding as he checked the contents of his pack. He agreed with her.

Maybe I was taking things too seriously. I couldn't shoulder the world. No one should ever be asked such a task, not me, not one of them. But... how much would be asked of me and these three other furs?

A knock on the open door drew attention to Kedders. "Event's approaching. Tyler, you're on me. Your wolf friend will wait for you here."

I stood up, trying to prepare myself mentally for whatever the third test involved. Something with the approaching Curtain?

A paw stopped me from taking a step. Shadow was still sitting, but his paw was tense on my arm, his face troubled. It would be the first time we'd been alone for the Curtain since the beginning. I turned back to Shadow and attempted to show confidence. I placed my paw over the wolfy one on my arm and nodded to him, a silent promise of return.

"I don't like it," he whispered. "I won't be near. What if you need help and I'm not there?"

"I will return," I promised in a low voice, knowing the others in the room watched.

"And if you don't?" he asked, his muzzle turning a little aside.

"I will find you. Any way I can."

He didn't look convinced, but let my arm go. I made my way out of the room, managing to not look back. If I looked back, I wouldn't be able to leave. The room was dead silent behind me.

I followed Kedders down the hall. I was a little surprised when we took an elevator up. Up?

The big fox scowled at the elevator doors, and I didn't want to interrupt his grumpy silence. I tried to occupy myself with counting the tall panel of buttons, but was only halfway through figuring out how many floors might be in the base when the upwards elevator slowed. The doors opened, and I was surprised to see the familiar entry of the base in front of me. Surface level.

"What are we doing all the way up here?" I asked, feeling nervous.

Kedders didn't bother with an answer, stepping forward and leading the way down a side hall. Moore tapped his wombat footpaws outside a door at the end of the hall.

"Moore?" I ventured. "Why are we all the way up here? Is it something for the third test?"

Moore huffed, making a hurried gesture. "Just hurry up, pup. It's not like we have a lot of time, and nothing seems to delay the Event."

I hesitated in the doorway before following the wombat in. "Is it safe here? Why are we up here for the test and not lower in the base?"

"Sit there please," Moore said, pointing to what looked almost like a dental patient's chair.

I sat, feeling confused. My eyes darted around at the empty room. "Where is the rest of the equipment?"

"It's all deep inside the base, where it's more protected from the Event light," he said. The wombat gestured to Kedders who stepped close to me.

Kedders pressed my paws to the arm rest of the chair.

"Wait! What are you doing!?" I shouted, trying to pull my arm away and rise.

"Hold still and don't panic," said Moore in a cool voice. "We're just securing you, so you don't move around too much for the test."

I struggled against Kedders, but my one paw was already secured with a thick, padded strap. "What kind of test is this!? The Curtain is coming."

Moore tapped a syringe, eyeing the little drops flung from the tip. "You know, it's strange how you insist on calling the Event the 'Curtain.' You'd think you'd adapt to the more widely accepted term when presented with it."

I didn't respond, struggling against the straps, now on both wrists from Kedders' efforts.

"Perhaps you're just stubborn. I wonder if it's caused by your upbringing or your genes. Tell me, was your father very stubborn?"

"Let me go!" I yelled. "Shadow! Help, anyone! They're gonna kill me!"

Moore huffed, shaking his head. "Quiet down now, pup. You won't die from this. We need you near the surface because this room is enhanced to provide more exposure to the Event light without killing the individual. Well, there have been a few mistakes...."

"What!?" I screamed. It couldn't be! It was ridiculous. Cruel! I cried out my wordless frustration.

"It's science," Moore insisted, pointing a finger in the air while Kedders secured my footpaws against the chair too. "Now relax. Just a little pinch."

Kedders steadied my arm, and Moore poked me, injecting me with whatever was in the syringe. It was like some kind of nightmare! It couldn't be legal.

"You're holding me against my will!" I tried. "Let me go. It's not legal; it's not right!"

"We have special, emergency allowance for any and all necessary procedures to handle the situation," the wombat rattled off. "Well, at least by what's left of the Furdom government."

The little marsupial placed sensor node ends on my head. The wiring led into the wall, disappearing into some safer place in the base.

"I want Shadow," I sobbed, unable to think of anything else.

Moore was saying something about me calming down or I'd skew the results, but I wouldn't stop crying. I didn't want to stop crying and yelling at them.

Moore was still speaking, explaining about the test in lots stupid jargon, seeming to encourage an excitement in me. He seemed in disbelief at my reaction.

"You'll be fine! It's perfectly safe in here!" he said.

How was I supposed to believe that!?

The chair was lowered into a recline, and the two furs cleared the room, leaving me alone. I yelled and cried, but no one showed up. Several minutes later, I quieted.

Were they getting ready for this test somewhere in the base? This wasn't a test, this was risk. Pure torture. I might die!

They needed to come back. Was the test over? I felt a little muffled, like I couldn't quite hear right in my ears.

"Hello?" I called, hoping someone would come let me loose. Would Shadow come for me? Would he free me from this torture chair?

I struggled against each bind, but I felt slow and a bit numb. My paws! My footpaws!

I shook my head, trying to dislodge the sensors glued onto my scalp. Someone might come if something was wrong. No. I couldn't shake them loose.

I paused. Did I hear someone approach? My ears perked.

It took a moment of trying to hear anything around my heartbeat. I blinked, then struggled harder.

The Curtain was coming!

My head spun, but I couldn't tell if was just me panicking or if it was whatever the bastard injected me with.

The Curtain approached. Nothing would stop it. Was I even safe? My eyes darted around the room, and I couldn't see anything behind me. Was there some crack in the room? Was there some intended opening to the outside?

I tried to calm my crazed breathing. I felt strange already, and the Curtain hadn't even hit. What did it mean? Would it all kill me? Was it safe for others, but not for me?

"Help," I croaked out as the Curtain dropped over Furdom. Over me.

When did it fall? Things were numbed. Maybe it was the surrounding mountain. Maybe it was the injection. My brief wondering was soon lost in the humming, vibrating build-up of the Curtain.

It struck, and I tried to get my mind to dance along with the patterns, but the whole thing shifted somehow. I could see something, like it was doubled in my vision, like it was deeply imagined in my mind. I could see! But it wasn't seeing.

It was a landscape of the Curtain, a landscape of easy waves and vibrations among the waves. Through the doors of my mind, I drifted over the landscape of the Curtain. Where was I again? Wasn't I doing something? Someone wasn't with me?

Nothing was around me but the landscape of my inner vision. A blurble of something rose from the ripples around me. It happened again, forming a 'something'. It reformed in the same place and somehow, it was me. It felt like it was me, it had the same feeling as my body.

But it wasn't me. It was Other.

The Other was there, an almost me, but not me. It didn't look like me, just felt like a 'me' in the landscape of the Curtain.

The landscape rippled, and the Other dissolved. With a surge of the Curtain landscape, it reformed. The Other hummed at me, seeming to direct my attention elsewhere.

It felt like Kaylee? I wanted to see her, needed so very badly to see her again, but I couldn't remember. Why did I need to see her?

She was there, then she wasn't. My mom was there, the feeling and sensation that mom was right there. I tried to reach out to her somehow, but I had no paws. I just existed.

What did it mean? What-

It all dissolved around me. I felt... I felt something. My body, but it was horrid, a shock to my mind. I couldn't take it all in and escaped into the empty darkness.

***

Voices nearby. I didn't recognize them. I didn't want any of them. None of them were my Wulf. I wanted... I wanted Shadow. No one else would do.

The voices were excited, enthused. Chatter went back and forth between several voices, but I couldn't follow the words. I groaned, and the voices became more excited. I tried to swat them away, but my paws felt so very, very heavy.

No. They were bound down.

My eyes snapped open, and I looked down to my paws. They weren't bound anymore, but the thick, padded straps were still there, ready to attach again. I blinked, not comprehending. My paws... were in those straps. I had been... upset. No, I had been angry.

But my mind was so slow. I couldn't piece together... I was.... Where was Shadow?

"Shadow?" I husked in a ravaged voice.

Voices responded, but I still couldn't understand them.

I needed Shadow. Or my mom...?

No. Mom was dead. Kaylee was dead. Dad was alive and horrible. Shadow was the only one. The one I wanted. We were mates, and we needed each other.

I'd let him out of my sight. Would I die without him?

"What happened?" I asked, trying to get my vision to stop spinning.

"Hold still," said someone in a very, very deep voice. "Your body is still recovering from the Event."

"What event?" I asked, trying to focus on the large... someone leaning over me.

"Take a few deep breaths, fox," the deep, deep voice said. "They're taking a little blood now."

"We'll have to get Kedders to carry him down," a higher-pitched voice said.

"I'll get him," said the bass voice to someone off to the side.

I blinked again, trying to merge my disjointed vision. Where was I?

I was reclined in a strange chair, centered in a gray room. Several furs were in the room too, and a... bird? And a... whale?

It didn't make any sense, and I felt better with my eyes closed. I was picked up and carried. It didn't smell like Shadow, so I protested, ignoring the soothing words.

It was Shadow's voice - Shadow's voice concerned, his voice becoming angry. He was yelling. Then it was quiet. It smelled like Shadow, and I snuggled into that sense, that smell, letting myself slip into rest.

***

I woke to a familiar sensation, being held in wolfy arms, pressed all along my back by a wolfy warmth. Arms held me, my Wulf behind me. I opened my eyes to a familiar gray room, under a gray blanket, lying on a gray bed. I stared at my black paws, trying to put my mind together.

My thoughts were sluggish, and my mind felt so... off. My tingling hide felt like it did right after the Curtain. I looked around.

Room. In the research base. With furs and a feather and a fin?

I blinked, twitched. Those bastards! I growled, and it turned into a snarl. I was mad, so mad I was crying. I didn't care if I showed my teeth. What they'd done-

Shadow groaned behind me, his arms tightening. "I'll kill them," snarled my Wulf. "I'll slaughter them and rip them apart. Every single one of them."

I stilled, sucking at my breaths. "What happened?"

My memories wouldn't line up with any sense. I scowled through my snarl, trying to make sense of the scattered bits. Kaylee and Mom? I'd just seen them? But they were gone from the world. They were dead, dead weeks ago.

But their voices echoed, like I'd just heard them. I'd... seen them? That wasn't possible.

I shook my head away from my clenching paws and looked around the room. The door was barricaded with a leaning, gray dresser, but it didn't show any sign of forced entry.

"Kill them," Shadow snarled in my nape. "Rip them apart."

I sucked in a sob, and tears stung my eyes. I shouldn't feel this; the incident was over. I felt so upset, so scared, shivering in Shadow's arms and clutching my paws to my chest.

"I'll kill them," Shadow sobbed into my shoulder. "I felt so helpless when they carried you back. I didn't know what they'd done or what to do. I thought you'd died, you were so still."

"Wulf," I mumbled, clutching his paws to my chest.

"And you wouldn't wake up. I didn't know what happened. I didn't know what to do!"

"I'm okay," I managed, trying to steady my breathing. The upset was making me feel worse. I wanted to hold onto the anger, the sense of justified fury. I didn't want to feel hurt, feel the terror.

"We gotta get out of here," Shadow said.

I nodded. I had wanted to help, but I didn't feel willing any more. Why would I help those who had played with my life and sanity?

"Can you stand? Are you able to go? We have to get out of here," he growled.

"I- I don't know." My body still felt strange and a little sick. "Let me try to sit up."

He sat up on the bed against the wall, helping me up against him.

"Ugh. Nope." I slumped back to the bed. My head was spinning. My head thudded. Thudded again. No....

There came knocking at the door. It echoed in my skull, making me clutch at it. A voice called from outside, and Shadow stood, yelling at the door.

A voice full of emotion was on the other side, trying to talk with Shadow, but I just felt nauseous. The noise. It rattled around. It hurt. My middle hurt. And I was vomiting onto to floor, next to Shadow's backpack. Dammit.

Shadow's voice grew angrier towards the door. I'd never heard him be so vocal. I wanted to be proud, as before he'd held himself back. But I should be angry too.

Oh yeah.

They'd bound me to a chair and let the Curtain at me. I could have died. What had happened to... who was it? Someone had been lost, a Listener. Was that lost in death, or lost in the mind? Had it nearly happened to me?

Memories were scattered after they bound me to the chair. I'd seen Mom? Had I met with Kaylee?

But it wasn't them. It was some sort of hallucination. They were dead. I'd seen them die. Eric and others too, I'd seen their bodies.

But I'd seen them in the Curtain. Did they live somehow? No, it couldn't be. But what else could it mean? I'd seen them; it felt like the furs, the family I knew. It was a reflection. But why?

Shadow was still yelling. It hurt, and I held my throbbing skull. The voices quieted, and only Shadow's growling remained. He paced back and forth in the tiny space. It wasn't a room of sanctuary. It was a prison. We were surrounded, buried deep underground.

A tiny room. Surrounded. I'd never been claustrophobic, but I might start. How was Shadow? He did have claustrophobia, was justifiably terrified of being trapped in small places.

His paws clenched and re-clenched. He paused in front of the barricaded door, staring it down, listening. I only heard distant activity from outside.

"How long?" I said with a cough. "How long was I out?"

"Not long," said Shadow, glancing back before turning to me. "What the hell happened? They carry you back, and you felt so cold and still. I thought you were dead."

I groaned. Telling him would make him madder. We needed to figure out what to do, how to get out.

"Those three 'Listeners' just ignored my questions. That porcupine had the gall to laugh. Laugh!" he shouted at the door.

Someone grumbled from beyond the door's muffling barrier. It didn't matter who it was, it was more of the same treatment ahead. I knew then; I should tell Shadow. He needed to know why we must leave immediately.

"They strapped me to a chair, and the Curtain came. I don't think it was the full exposure, because I lived. It- It touched me," I groaned, weeping on my final words, scratching at my arms. I felt like me, but also like... Other.

It was disgusting. I had become disgusting.

I tried to sit up again, forcing myself to remain up through an episode of nausea and dizziness. We had to get out of there, but how to get past so many furs and security?

Shadow sat next to me, rubbing my back and staring at the blockaded door. "I thought you might die," he whispered into the quiet air.

I nodded my floating, dizzy head. "I thought I would die. The Curtain was coming, and I didn't know if that room was safe. I couldn't go anywhere. I was tied down...." My tense throat would allow no more words.

Shadow seized my paw, clutching it and growling at the door. His other arm circled me where I sat, leaning against him, feeling weak and dizzy. His warmth seeped into my tired body, and I had a hard time keeping my eyes open.

"So what now?" Shadow said, staring at the door.

I looked up at the plain bulb cover in the gray room with all the gray furnishings. We needed to leave. I was reminded of our first nights in the FurShopper, when we'd been targeted by hate. Now we were targeted by those who would use us, without a care to our personal wellbeing.

My head felt more stable, and my gut stopped churning. I felt better leaning into my Wulf, feeling accepted and loved for who I was, not for what I might offer. The scientists valued my body, my system, but not me.

A soft knock came from the door. Shadow snarled without remorse, looking like a vicious feral. I might have been startled in other circumstances, but I understood. He was defending his mate.

"Pups?" came the voice at the door.

We both stilled at the familiar voice. I looked to Shadow in disbelief.

His glance at me matched my own confusion. "Cade!?" he called out, his head pulling back in his shock.

"Funny story, you know," the bison chuckled on the other side. "So I was trying to get entry into here anyway, after today's Event. I mentioned I was a friend of you guys, and they gave me a special pass on the condition I could get you both to calm."

"What?" I asked, but my voice squeaked. I tried again. "What?" I called out more coherently.

Shadow closed his eyes and shook his head. "Cade what the hell is going on?"

The deep voice on the other side called, "I used to do some sub-contracting for the military. I told you stories; you remember?"

"I guess," shouted Shadow. "Why are you here!?"

"Well," the voice hesitated. "I'm supposed to calm you down. The scientists are frantic thinking you both won't cooperate. They need your mate."

"They can all go to the deepest furry hells!" yelled my Wulf, his arm around me tightening. "Did they tell you what they did!?"

"Well, no. But they did say his help is imperative. They say they might be able to stop the Events entirely."

"They almost killed him!" Shadow's words were emphasized with snapped teeth.

There was a long silence on the far side of the door.

Cade's voice was subdued when he continued. "I'm sure they didn't mean to, Shadow. With something so devastating to so many, they're desperate for any solution."

"And what if he ends up dead next time!" Shadow snapped at the door. "If you're a part of this, I don't want to see you either, Cade."

"Shadow!" came the upset voice, muffled by the door. "You're like a son to me."

"And Tyler is my mate," Shadow sobbed. "I don't want to lose either of you."

Shadow clung to me even more. He seemed unable to continue, sobbing into my shoulder.

"What do you want us to do, Cade?" I called.

"Oh, Tyler! Thank the furry heavens you're safe!" The muffled voice came closer to the join of the door. "Could you let me in? I hate speaking to you both like this from the hall."

Shadow continued to sob into my shoulder, clinging to my arm. He was in no shape to respond.

"Come back in fifteen minutes will you, Cade?" I called to the door. After a moment of no response, I reiterated, "Please?"

The deep voice was disappointed. "Alright, I understand. See what you can do for him, Tyler. Just know they're all sorry for scaring you so much. I'll be back."

Hoofsteps clipped away from the door. A conversation was held outside, and furs shooed each other away from the vicinity of the little room.

At last I could breathe. I lay my muzzle over Shadow's head while he continued to cry. My shoulder was wet from tears of upset, anger, and hurt.

When the sobs cleared, and I had a world-weary, exhausted wolf under my chin, I said, "We're okay, Shadow. We're together. That's the important part."

He nodded, his voice faint, not quite forming words.

I kept my pets slow, feeling through his deep fur to his relaxing neck muscles. He slumped, eyes staying closed as I began to lick, slowly grooming his face. I took more time over his stressed brow and around his teary eyes.

I loved that I could calm him, loved the wat I was so appreciated by him, he'd go into feral behavior to defend me. I had never had that. Even Mom had held back from confronting Mr. Evans because she loved us both. But that moment was clarity itself.

I loved and was loved.

"Shadow," I breathed.

I paused in my licking, and he opened his eyes, gazing up at me. He was so damn adorable. Strong and protective, showing his vulnerabilities only to me. I loved the duality of his existence.

I was so in love.

I smiled at him, and he managed a calm smile back at me. He loved me too, I could see it in his eyes when he licked my nose. How had I ever doubted that depth of love?

A soft knock sounded at the door. A voice called our names. Cade?

We both hesitated. To respond would be to invite more than the two of us into our universe. It was okay to have others, but sometimes I wanted Shadow to be my universe.

After a firmer knock, I called out. "We're okay, Cade. What do you want?"

Cade started with, "The scientists are sorry they scared you and-"

"Don't apologize for them!" I yelled at the door. "They didn't tell me what they were doing and tied me up for the Curtain."

Cade mumbled something to someone nearby, outside the door. A huffed, "Really!" was audible. The bison's voice directed to the door again. "What do you want? What do you two want to do now?"

"I want to leave!" I yelled. "I'm not here to be killed in experiments. I'm not here to be tied down and tested!"

"And Shadow will go with you, of course," the bison said with an audible sigh through the thin barrier. "Could you at least open the door? I'd like to talk to you two face-to-face and make sure you're okay."

"No!" shouted Shadow with a snarl. "Not taking Tyler."

"No one will take him away," said Cade. "Please, Pups. Let's figure something out. I will guarantee your safety and togetherness while I'm here."

I looked at Shadow, who looked right back at me.

"Pups?" Cade called to us.

"...Okay," I said, loud enough for Cade to hear.

Shadow trusted Cade. I wanted to trust Cade for Shadow. Would our joint hope be dashed into painful pieces?

Shadow stood, propping my back against the wall behind the bed. He hesitated in front of the door, looking back at me, looking torn. I pulled out of my doubts for him and nodded, firmly acknowledging Cade's entry.

Shadow growled to himself, staring at the door. Once he gathered himself, he moved the narrow dresser and opened the door. A few curious and concerned faces tried to peek.

"By all that's furry, give some space," Cade griped over his shoulder. "Damn gawkers."

Shadow stepped aside, letting the big fur in and closing the door behind them. With the three of us and the backpack, the room was very crowded. Cade picked up the dresser and moved it to the wall, sitting on it and relieving some of the spatial pressure.

I remained lying on the bed. If I was feeling crowded in the small space, Shadow must be struggling. My Wulf sat on the bed and licked his lips, glancing up at the bison before dropping his gaze.

"Where do we start?" Cade said in a low voice. "First, why don't you tell me what happened? I know a bit from them, but I'd like to know your view on what happened. Then we'll go over what's next."

Straightening my back against the wall, I shook my head. I asked, "Why do they even pretend? They obviously had no consideration for my well-being and safety."

Cade said, "I'm sure they didn't realize-"

"No!" I snapped, interrupting. "They knew. How else do these other Listeners know the third test was terrible? The first one I understand. The second one, I thought I might drown in some stupid tank. The third one, they tied me down and let the Curtain at me. Of course I'm a bit pissed off!"

Cade rubbed at his brow, and Shadow's growls had risen in volume. I shook my head against the wall, feeling dizzy and numb. I wasn't sure if it was my temper getting to me or the continued side effects of what I'd been through.

I stared at a spot on the gray wall, gaining some sense of balance and control. "They knew. They put me in danger. No one can help if they're dead. I don't want to die; I just want to leave. Now."

Shadow agreed with a sharp nod. "'Soon as you can walk."

Cade sighed, tilting his head up to stare at the ceiling. "The science guys are all excited about your results. They haven't been able to find someone else with as much affinity with the Event. I think they need you."

"Well, we don't need them," I snapped, feeling a growing headache.

Cade's thick muzzle dropped down, catching my eyes with his own. When he spoke, he sounded thoughtful. "Have you thought they might really need you though? To my knowledge, this is the only installment in the whole world with any real chance of stopping these Events. You might be needed more than you know."

"What good is he dead?" Shadow growled.

"None," I agreed aloud.

Cade rubbed at his muzzle. "In theory, you could be kept here against your will." He held up a thick hoof when I opened my muzzle to protest. "And I suspect you won't be a lick of help in any unwilling state."

"Of course," I snapped.

"So let's figure this out. You're not going to be any good forced, but they can't afford to just let you leave." Cade nodded to me. "What would you need to guarantee your willingness?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought about it," I gritted between my teeth.

Cade let the silence stretch.

I muttered to myself. "I want to go. I need to go. I must stay...." I sighed, shaking my head.

Cade looked at me with a sneaky grin. "Would you accept a bribe?"

"Like what?" I asked. "I don't trust them. Even with a bribe."

"Then what would make you feel safe?" Cade asked.

"Like..." I said aloud, " I don't know. A guarantee of safety here, which I doubt will happen. Maybe some valuable information... key to the base or something...? Maybe a guard?"

Shadow tensed, and I knew he immediately thought of the military wolf from before.

"Not one of theirs," I said with firm resolve, noticing Shadow's gust of relief.

"How about me?" asked Cade.

My lips twitched. "Cade, I like you. You seem like a good fur, but I don't know you. I know you'd help Shadow before anyone."

Cade nodded to that. "Your father then? Shadow said-"

"No!" I snapped with a fierce gesture, which seemed to make my headache worse. "Definitely not him."

"Who then? What fur would make you both feel safer?"

I was strong, but even the strong needed allies. Shadow and I just weren't safe enough here. Strength. Trust.

I knew who to request. I couldn't ask for everyone; that was too much to their precious 'secrecy'. But I knew someone. Of course.

Trying to gather my diminishing strength, through my clouding vision, I said, "I want Burt here. And his family. Brynn too. Get them a place here. Then I'll help."