frame relationships
Theoren Glacken
Mr. Hoffman
Sociology 8
16 December 2010
Self-esteem and the Modern Marriage
The biggest reason most marriages fail is because one or both of the partners are not self-actualized and as a result are more prone to seek out someone who is the manifestation of their own unresolved issues. By trying to fulfill these unresolved issues, people will most likely marry someone who is the opposite of what they are, i.e. someone who can be what they're not.
In an A-frame relationship one of the partners is mostly dependent on what the other partner can give the illusion of fulfillment for. Seeing this opposite in the partner, the dependent partner can live indefinitely on the illusion that his/her partner will fulfill those needs. The interdependent partner will eventually reject the dependent partner and create a tension that the dependent partner will come to resent, creating an attraction reversal in the dependent partner's mind. This is the A-frame relationship failure.
The M-frame relationship consists of two dependent personalities. These two are attracted to one another because of the need for fulfillment. This is the most dangerous type of relationship because any indefinite time may elapse before either partner realizes that their partner is no longer fulfilling them "enough" and will either elapse into a further state of false role play or will break out of the relationship, leaving the relationship into an "A-frame" and breaking the relationship. This is the M-frame relationship failure.
The H-frame relationship is the healthy relationship, the kind that I recommend. Each partner being able to stand on their own and contribute their personality to the relationship makes a lasting relationship. The autonomy of each partner means that the relationship will last longer and be more enriching.
Understanding the three most important frame types and recognizing that it is what many couples go through is of utmost importance. Without this, many couples have been doomed to fail, hopefully in the modern age this understanding will become more prevalent.