Quilava Healthcare

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Blitz raids a pokemon center and swallows some pokeballs...only he ends up in perfect health.Story By rathalos122Docx linkPosted using PostyBirb

Originally posted on 2021-12-06.


Quilava Healthcare.

By: Rathalos122

Warning, this fic is very disposal heavy. If that's not your thing, you probably wont like it.

With a final, satisfied grunt the skull was finally pushed out of the quilava's ass and plopped onto the sizeable pile of waste that was already behind him. It still surprised Blitz to this day how easy and smooth the process with this particular kind of prey was. The skulls of most other pokemon or even trainers always required an uncomfortable struggle to pass, but so far every Nurse Joy he had was a delight all the way through. Of course, this wasn't the end of it. Now that the blockage was gone, the rest of her was just flowing out of him. Turd after turd, the latter half of them even intertwined with her gown, joined their brethren. Together smelling up the examination room.

As quilavas go, Blitz was a rather peculiar one. Instead of the blueish-green back-fur most other quilava's possessed, his was a deep purple. Apparently, this fact made every trainer who saw him go crazy and attempt everything to catch him, thankfully without any success so far. Still, this led to him having a rather unusual life for a pokemon. Like sneaking into Pokemon Center for an easy, decent meal.

A quick shake got rid of the last log and Blitz took a quick look back at his handiwork. Right in the middle of the padded table was a ghastly display. The late nurse's skull was grinning at him, atop a throne of shit. Certainly a nasty surprise for whoever had the misfortune to discover this.

Blitz himself couldn't care less if he tried. This Nurse Joy was nothing more than a pleasant treat on the way. Having fulfilled that purpose, there was no point to give her any further consideration. Blitz simply jumped off the table and started moving towards his true goal. To be honest he had felt somewhat guilty about the first Nurse Joy he ever ate. After all, she did save his life after he was bleeding out in that now-distant forest. He had thought losing that fight would have been the end of him. But she stumbled over him and brought him to her Center. A full healing. Blitz genuinely felt thankful for that.

Then she talked about giving him to some trainer and all his goodwill disappeared, just as she disappeared down his throat a moment later. He would never surrender himself to be someone's pathetic slave! Any pokemon that submits to such a fate and then even has the audacity to enjoy that life was nothing more than a disgrace. A disgrace that should be gotten rid of at every possibility in fact.

But minor guilt aside, he had learned a lot that day. Experiences that came useful on days like this.

Firstly, all Nurse Joys are absolute treats and should be eaten at every chance. He just finished number 22 and has found no exception so far. Secondly, pretending to be injured near a pokemon center guarantees that the resident Nurse Joy will carry you inside and let her guard down. As long as you case the joint and ensure no trainers are present, you are golden. Lastly and most importantly, every single Center had a storage room full of pokeballs. Each one containing one of those blasted trainer-slaves, all recovering from some sort of injury. Delightfully defenseless in their little prisons. Luckily, Blitz knew a neat little shortcut to turn them into one perfectly healthy pokemon again.

His mustelid body stretched itself as he reared up and pressed down on the door handle of the sturdiest looking door in the Center. This should be the place. With a satisfying click, the door sprang open and allowed passage. Unlocked, perfect. Melting through those things was always such a bother. Better yet, this hunch was right, this was indeed the pokeball storage.

The room was not dissimilar to a small storeroom actually, if rather sterile and wasting much space for rather small objects. Several small pedestals lined the shelves that took up an entire wall, and some of them contained the little red and white orbs the quilava sought. Blitz licked his lips, counting about ten of them, a good amount for such a small village. Below each ball was a clipboard bearing a document that told exactly which pokemon was in it, which trainer it belonged to and various medical facts.

Helpful information, if Blitz had been capable of reading. Thus eating those balls was essentially a gamble, one could never know how big of a meal it contained. Not that this stopped Blitz from eagerly starting his meal, rushing towards the first one and snatching it up. A small bulge traveled down the quilava's throat as he finished it up with a single gulp. The next ball followed soon after.

He scampered along the shelf, letting each ball join the others. Whenever he reached the end of the shelf his agile body stretched itself to reach the next layer and he repeated the process. Soon six balls were filling out his gut, clicking faintly as they collided with each other. He should stop there, six was a good number, guaranteed to give a good meal but not too much of a risk. Considering the margin of the possible size difference, it was pushing it a bit even. Ball numbers seven and eight were quickly joined with the rest. Blitz never backed down from a challenge. Ten was only slightly higher than his best record and it would feel good knowing he had purged all of the trainer slaves. It probably wouldn't be too bad.

In the end, all ten pokeballs filled out his gut as he made his way into the wilderness surrounding the village. His belly has bloated enough that it almost scraped on the ground, even with all balls still intact. Maybe he really had overdone it as that would take the entire night to break them down. Still, he should have a couple of hours until the situation in the Pokemon Center would be discovered and the search parties sent out; enough time to reach his hiding place. This time he had to get crafty, as no big forest offered an easy spot of stealth anywhere nearby. Just plains as far as the eye could see, broken up by the occasional small mountain. He had almost decided to skip this area until he came upon the cave. Not any cave, but a real hidden-behind-a-waterfall cave a good bit upstream from the river flowing through the village. That would do nicely.

Of course, just when he was on the last few steps to reach it, the first pokeball broke open and with the distinct sound of a materializing pokemon, Blitz's belly expanded to three times his size. An annoyed grunt escaped his throat. Why couldn't it have been a smaller one? Another cause of annoyance was the identity of this pokemon. Blitz could clearly decipher the shape of a pair of antlers in the bulge. Arceus damn it, a Sawsbuck.

This was bad. Out here he would be quickly found by any flyers employed by the inevitable search party. Even worse, the path leading up to the cave was slim and to his left was a drop right into the river in which the waterfall emptied itself. Definitely not the place for a weighted fire pokemon to end up. The deer-filled gut just about fit on the path, another popped ball might be his literal downfall. And after the first ball broke, the others usually quickly followed.

Blitz scrambled to get into the cave in time, though normal movement was impossible in his current state. Luckily, when he stretched his upper body he could reach the floor, if barely. It would do, or rather it had to do. Putting out his front paws, he dragged his heavy body along the path. It was looking to be quite an ordeal, and despite this uncomfortable position, Blitz had to move as quickly as possible. The struggling Sawsbuck inside his belly wasn't helping either, and a few of the stronger movements almost tipped the quilava over the edge. "Calm down back there you bastard. Struggling won't help you anyway."

Halfway along, the next pokeball yielded. Blitz twitched as he heard the telltale sound of a second materializing pokemon. This could be it for him. Despite his fears, his gut only expanded by a little bit, just some small fry pokemon from the looks of it. Still, this close call made him only redouble his efforts, ignoring any pain caused by the rough stone under his belly.

It paid off in the end, he managed to drag himself into the cave before any further breakage. Blitz collapsed in the cave's entrance, having had a lot taken out of him. Sure he probably should drag himself deeper into it before his belly grows even more in size, but hopefully, that could wait for a bit. Now that his life no longer was in danger, more pokemon materializing would not be a problem. If necessary he could just shuffle himself fully in the more roomy cave. The chances that the next one would completely pin him in place were slim.

Instant regret filled his mind as the next ball popped and his belly quadrupled in size. With shock he looked downwards, seeing several round shapes moving inside of him. Carefully he patted once of him, noticing its hard unyielding form. "Is that... an Onix? Really? Off all the damned critters out there I get the pile of rocks?" He tried shifting his body, yet it didn't budge an inch. They were simply too heavy. To make things worse, the Onix began to properly panic and struggle away in his gut. Stone grinding away against all the other pokeballs. "Nono, stop that at once you-"

In a storm of materializing sounds, the entire payload in his gut broke. His gut ballooned out and he found himself pressed into the ceiling of the cave. Uncomfortable pressure on all sides of his body as it wedged closed the entire cave entrance, leaving him simply and fully stuck. "Urg, what have you idiots done? Blasted trainer slaves." Arceus knows what pokemon are now stewing away inside of him. At least they were suffering too in that cramped environment and unable to struggle beyond a faint wriggling. Loud groaning and grumbling came from his gut as the digestion process began to kick into action. "Ahh, well who cares. I should be safe enough. Good riddance to the lot of you."

That wasn't exactly a comfortable position, but eventually, Blitz managed to fall asleep. It helped that his body now focussed all his energy on his stomach. A splendid lullaby of all the panicked pokemon's protests did the rest. But those didn't last for long as soon one after the other felt silent and all that was heard were the sounds of the ongoing digestion. Under the sleeping quilava, his belly slowly smoothed out and eventually shrank down a bit. Not particularly much, all things considered, only about a third of the size was lost in the end. But it was enough to free Blitz from his cramped spot and allowed a much calmer sleep. Soon loud sloshing added to the ambient sounds as his stomach pumped the entire mess into his intestines to be broken down even further.

Blitz barely absorbed any nutrients from his massive meal. Any one of them likely would have been enough to sate him completely. But like this, his body was simply overwhelmed and merely processed them into a great mass of shit without gaining anything from them. As a last insult to those trainer slaves, their demise was completely pointless.

A good couple days later the quilava finally awoke, though not exactly by choice. His body had had it with being forced to contain that load and wouldn't permit it to stay a single moment longer than necessary. A booming fart was the only warning a rudely awakened Blitz got before the first turd began exiting his bowels and dropped on the floor. Basically shattering from the height it had fallen. Surprising as this was, what came next was even worse. The dam had broken. No need to actually put his muscles to use, pressure alone forced the brown tide out of him.

"Urk, even in death you lot are nothing than pushover- yikes" A sudden sharp pain went through his pucker as something huge went through it, followed by two rows of hard nubs. "What was that?" Turning around and actually looking was out of question, he still had many times his own body weight in him, but again his flexible spine offered an easy solution. Not many other beings out there that could bend themselves around like that, excluding maybe snakes. A bit uncomfortable, yes but he got a mostly clear view behind him. "Ahh, that antlered bastard again." Indeed it had been the Sawsbuck's skull and antler combo that had been the culprit.

Though that little fact caused quite some dread to stir in Blitz's mind. An obstacle like that should have lodged itself in the exit and blocked it up. Allowing him to carefully press it out of him. If the internal pressure was great enough that even skulls just rushed through... a painful near future awaited his poor hole. Blitz twitched as another harder object passed him, but this was rather tame. In fact, he barely missed the skull among the growing pile of bone-speckled dung. It was basically the size of his very own, if a bit more canine.

Hmm, red fur was mixed in the waste surrounding it, some strands of it even longer and curling strong enough that they were actually sticking out. A Vulpix maybe? Always a plus to knock out a fellow fire predator.

Already the Vulpix's remains disappeared from view as more manure dropped onto it. Another harder part, but this one oddly long. Furthermore, this one was rather bearable, almost pleasant even. Several hard rings massaging his insides as they passed. A snake, Serperrior judging by the leafy green crap encasing the spine. Plant pokemon always had that effect. Hope began to blossom inside the quilava. All this wouldn't be as hard as he feared, this was going great. He barely even noticed the snake's head popping out, that thing was smoother than even Nurse Joy had been. More snakes please!

He got his wish, another smooth head flowed through. One that was also connected to a long spine. There had been only a slight hitch, as if something had been snapped off as it passed through. He wondered what that was, hopefully, he would be able to see it once that particular snake came into view. Indeed it was an easy answer, it had been a Seviper and it had just been its long red fangs snapping off. Luckily they were instantly pressed into the following turd, buried among the snake's black and yellow scales, no harm to him done. Blitz chuckled to himself, he had always wondered why Sevipers even had those things. Always breaking too easily and not nearly as useful as their giant... bladed... tail tips... oh no.

Please be encased in shit. Was Blitz's inner mantra now. Very much hoping to not be skewered in half. Things slowed down somewhat and he felt a bigger load was coursing through him. No immediate pain... maybe this would work out? In the end, it was indeed a sizeable lump that forced itself out and while he was sure he felt the blade a few times, it never cut him. Of course, that didn't mean it was painless, something larger was following right behind the snake. A Pyroar, a male even. His mane was almost intact among the brown mess, though he doubted that lion would be proud of it in this state. "Helped me out there. Guess Fire pokemon have to stick together even like this." The rest of the kitty passed without any issue.

Blitz pucker and inner tunnel were sore by now. Yet this was only the halfway point! "Listen, guys, can I get someone a bit slower? I think I deserve a break here!" As if on command the brown tide stopped. "What?" That couldn't be right. He still felt that pressure heavy pushing on his insides, so why would it stop?

A clench and a press of his innard got him an answer. Something was stuck. Something hard and big. And somewhat round. "Is that the fucking Onix? What have I done to deserve that." This was going to suck. Part of him wanted to just postpone it and recover for a bit, but he had spent a good four hours shitting already. He didn't have unlimited time. This place would be discovered eventually, especially if parts of the pile dropped into the river and contaminated it. Blitz smirked, that might actually be a fun surprise for the village.

As entertaining as that thought was, he had to get to work. It was an arduous process to get that stupid stone snake through him. Why were those even a thing? Only their head had something digestible; the rest of them was just useless rocks other than a small core down the center of each. Of course, it also had the most unnecessary size. At least the stones stopped being connected to each other once the Onix had expired. Getting that entire thing out at once would have been impossible but like this, the quilava was just passing literal boulders. It took immense effort to push each of them out of his abused hole. With a loud wet smack, they impacted on the mass of shit behind Blitz, shattering the mess and even breaking bones. At least it got easier with each of those boulders, his pucker getting looser and looser. Still took two good hours to overcome this ordeal.

That would take forever to recover from. No more Onix, never again. Why can't they have pictures on those damn charts?

At least the newfound flexibility made passing the rest of his freight this a trivial task. He was just letting it flow out of him, while he leaned himself on his shrinking gut. There were some hard parts that required a bit of a push, but nothing extreme. Still not exactly a pleasant feeling for his sore behind. As time went on, he finally could feel that infernal pressure disappear, and shortly after his feet could even touch the ground again.

A few last logs still had to be pushed out, but that was it, he was golden. Finally, about time to leave. The entire cave rank, with the foul odor of this mess. He had mostly ignored it so far, but now that the most pressing issue no longer had his attention, he just wanted to get away from it. Yet... maybe a last look, after all, he was eager to figure out which other pokemon fell victim to him.

Turning around he noted that the entire pile was even more impressive than he had imagined. Heck, it was blocking off the entire cave entrance! The only reason he wasn't cast in darkness was a number of holes in the cave ceiling that let plenty of light in. It looked more like an earth slide than a pile of dung. The Onix boulders certainly helped in that regard. They certainly had done a number on the bones of the pokemons that dropped out before them. Blitz could no longer spy their skulls, just a multitude of shards shattered all around. The rest of the bones didn't fare much better either, only the one on the edges were spared the pulverizing. The less said about the splash zone some boulders created the better. At least their fur was still there, giving many of the turds an aspect of their owner's former look. So Blitz had at least something to go by to identify who is who. Expect for the Sawsbuck, brown on brown just didn't work.

Fortunately, the ones who came out after the Onix were unaffected. Thus he hadn't had to get too close to properly figure out the identity of the last preythings.

Two of them were bugs, always easy to identify. The red exoskeletons of both an Ariados and a Scolipede stuck out of the brown mess, still retained some of their vibrancy even after all they'd been through. The Scolipede's one maybe less so, considering the entire thing had basically caved in under the pressure and was just a collection of shards.

Number three was equally easy to identify. Other pokemon might have struggled with this, likely seeing nothing more than some green remains of some plant pokemon, but Blitz instantly recognized the red leavings of a Meganium's flower and their shiny green scales. A sight that elated him, they were always fun to bully in his home forest, and knowing he had claimed another of them? Beautiful.

In regards to number four... He couldn't find it. Maybe it was a pokemon without bones or any other telltale sign. Or more likely it was just buried in the mess. A bit of a shame, but he could live with not knowing it. After all, he was not going to burrow through it to figure it out!

Time to leave!

Blitz paused for a few seconds and stared at the huge pile of crap completely blocking the exit.

"Fuck!"

In the end, his final prey turned out to be a Charizard.