Terry Firewind
It was a clear and cold December day. A seventeen year old Bengal tiger cub by the name of Mick was riding the school bus home after yet another day at Green Ledge High School. He was glad to go home since it had been a crappy day as usual. He was struggling with his Spanish and college algebra classes. He wasn't going to fail either class, but it looked like he was going to take a C in each one and he knew when his parents saw those grades he would be facing yet another lecture about how he was being lazy and he needed to apply himself more. They just didn't get what he was dealing with when it came to high school, especially at Green Ledge. At least he was doing fine in his chemistry class, and choir class was a piece of cake. Singing came naturally, his fine baritone voice coming along well this year, to the point where he almost led the section. It was a class that Mick looked forward to, despite how often he was called "gay" for belonging in the choir. Mick felt the only good thing today was that their Christmas concert was that evening. He liked performing since afterward it would be one of those rare times he would get compliments from his peers rather than insults.
The bus rolled up to Mick's stop and he got off and crossed the street to his house. His dad was pulling into their driveway after returning from the grocery store. His dad was now retired and took care of the house when Mick's mother went back to work. His mom worked for an emergency room at Blue Lake Hospital, which was in the next town over. Mick ran over to the car and greeted his dad; they went into the house, him helping the older lion carry up some of the groceries. The first thing they noticed when they got upstairs and into the kitchen was a flashing light on the answering machine; his dad pushed the "play" button.
"Hey guys, it's mom. I'm stuck down at work right now. Some policeman was shot and the road is closed while they search for the guys who shot him. I don't know much more right now but I'll try to get home as soon as I can, I love you guys."
Mick heard this and the fur on the back of his neck began to rise and the tip of his tail began to twitch. One name immediately came to mind; Terry Firewind. He tried to avoid getting a sick look on his face as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room, hoping that he was utterly wrong and thinking about what he knew about Terry.
Terry Firewind was a friend of the family. He had met Mick's mother when she started working at Blue Lake; he regularly brought in folks to the ER who'd had too much to drink or who'd hurt themselves. Being a raccoon, most people would take one look at him and think he would be the one committing crimes rather than catching criminals, but this was not the case, Terry was a gentle soul who deeply cared for the community he lived in and for the people as well. To those who knew him, it was no surprise when he joined the police academy and became an officer for Blue Lake. He was well-known in the town; he always greeted the people he would see with warmth and kindness, unless they were doing something that was breaking the law, then it was all about business, like any good cop would be. He and his wife Pearl had three kids, Thalia, Tina, and Trevor. Thalia was a raccoon who was Mick's age and they had met after both joining the Cross Country team, before either of them had realized that their parents knew one another already. They had dated off and on for the last two years, though dates were now few and far between after she had transferred to Blue Lake High School. When Mick first met Terry, of course he got the "so you're taking out my daughter" talk, but Mick knew a lot of it was an act because Terry was already familiar with him, thanks to his mom. Mick made sure he was always a gentlefur with Thalia so that guaranteed that he and Terry were on good terms.
Mick went to his room and spent the next hour working on his homework, worrying in the back of his mind about the phone message and hoping that it was not Terry. He had about two hours before he had go back to school for the choir concert so he went downstairs and fired up the Nintendo. Perhaps some time of playing as Link in the Legend of Zelda would take his mind off of his fears. A few minutes after starting, the phone rang and his dad answered it. Mick turned his ears towards the stairs. He tried to hear who his dad was talking to, but he couldn't make out the conversation. He wondered if it was his mom on the phone. He heard his dad hang up the phone and then start walking downstairs. He came into the room, Mick paused the game and looked at his dad, the tip of his tail twitching and his claws out on his thigh, bracing himself for the worst. His dad stood there, ears flat against his head. He first looked downward at the floor, and then back up at Mick. Mick felt like he knew what his dad was about to say.
"Mom just called; that Blue Lake police officer that was shot...it was Terry. I really, really wish I had something better to say than what I have to tell you, but she saw him die in the ER a few minutes ago...I'm sorry son...but...he's gone."
Mick looked at his dad in horror, the blood draining out of his muzzle as his jaw dropped. He had no idea what to say right then. The shock of the news made his mind chaotic as all of his thoughts and fears from the last hour were now out from the back of his head and racing all over the place.
"What?! You're kidding! Do you know what happened?" Mick cried.
His father sighed before he quietly explained. "A coyote and his son broke into a store near one of the fishing lakes and stole some beer. Terry saw their car and pulled them over. When he realized they were the ones who had broken into the store, he got the coyote out of the car and tried arrest him. There was a struggle and the coyote called to his son for help. The son got out of the car and joined the struggle. One of them got a hold of Terry's gun and shot Terry in the head. They took off running into the woods and the police are searching for them now. The folks over at the hospital tried to do everything they could for Terry, but it was fatal."
Mick sat back and stared at the wall behind his dad, not seeing him there now. His dad came over to the chair and put his paw on his son's shoulder.
"I'm really sorry Mick, this shouldn't have happened, ever. I hope they're found."
Mick just stared with a look as if he was a thousand miles away from the room. His father noticed that look and knew that Mick needed some time alone.
"Son, know that I love you and I'm here for you if you want to talk, or need anything else." His dad turned and quietly went back upstairs.
Mick sat back down and stared at the TV for a few minutes, still not believing what he had just heard, while thoughts and questions raced through his head. He's dead? How could this have happened? Why him? He never did anything to deserve this! Does Thalia know yet? Are they going to find his killers? I hope they catch them. I want those assholes caught! This has got to be a dream, I'm in a nightmare and I am going to wake up. Shot by his own gun, that's fucked up. He felt like he wanted to puke so he put his head down on the coffee table for a few minutes. Looking up he turned off his game, no longer in the mood to play. He realized that it was the first time in his life that someone who he had a connection with was suddenly dead. While he had a grandfather who had died five years ago, the family knew it was coming so they had been more prepared.
Mick looked at the clock and knew that he needed to get himself together, he had a choir concert to perform in that night and the last thing he needed to do was to not show up for it, or to show up but be unable to perform. He needed to focus right now on the concert, he could cry about Terry in private later. The young tiger summoned all of his concentration to put everything but the concert in the back his mind, thinking only of the music.
Mick went upstairs and found his dad in the living room. He motioned and his dad stood up and gave him a hug.
"Is mom on her way home yet?" he asked.
"I don't know, I haven't heard if the road is open yet."
Oh great, Mick thought, this could take all night, the woods extend for miles around and who knows where those assholes could be hiding by now.
He hoped they would be found soon, not only so that they would have to rot in jail for what they did, but also so that his mom could come home and not miss the concert. Mick wasn't very hungry now but he knew he had to eat before his performance so he made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and wolfed that down. He now had about 45 minutes before he and his brother needed to leave so he headed for the bathroom to shower and groom his fur. He turned on the shower as hot as he possibly could. Like most tigers, he liked being in the water, and he especially liked to feel the water of a shower or a rainstorm cascade down on him. He stepped in and let the feeling of heat envelope him. It felt very comforting at that moment and he let his mind wander for a few minutes as the steam built up around him. He scrubbed his fur and skin hard. He followed up with conditioners, taking extra care on the top of his head where he was letting the fur grow long. He finished up and dried off while looking over himself in the mirror. He brushed his fur until it gleamed, the orange fur with black and purple stripes shining as bright as it had looked this morning. He headed to his bedroom to get dressed. He dressed quickly and walked out into the hallway and checked himself in the mirror, making sure he looked presentable. Unless you looked closely into his hazel eyes, you couldn't tell that anything was wrong.
Mick drove back to school and headed for the choir room. It was the usual boisterous gathering of students from all three of the choirs as everyone was excited to finally perform and get it over with. As much as Mick would have been excited for this concert, now he wanted it to be over and done with. He sat on one of the risers and listened to the conversations flying back and forth. He wondered if there was anyone else talking about Terry, but he heard nothing, so he tried to put it out of his mind. He made small talk with a few of his classmates before the director called them to order. They went through vocal warmups and each choir practiced one of their songs before they were all led to the auditorium. Before the concert started Mick took a peek at the audience, looking for his parents. He saw his dad there, and then he saw his mom next to him. Seeing the tigress gave him a huge sense of relief. Maybe this meant that Terry's killers had been caught.
Mick waited around in the wings of the stage with the high school choirs while the junior high choir performed. He paced back and forth, the tip of his tail twitching when he wasn't sitting down and trying to stay focused on the show. He was also wringing his paws, knowing that Terry was dead and he wondered what was happening to Thalia right now. It seemed like in no time at all he was lining up with the rest of the choir to go on stage. Mick took a deep breath and made himself only think about the music he had practiced and the performance he was about to give. He knew he could do it without a problem if he concentrated hard enough. As soon as they were in their positions and the music started, everything else cleared out of Mick's mind except for set he was currently performing. The concert itself would pass in a blur for him that night and he would give a great performance. His voice was in time with the others and hitting all the right crescendos, legatos, staccatos, fortes, and pianos. There wasn't any tail twitching, hand wringing, or a look of distraction from him; only his family knew of his inner turmoil.
After the concert was over Mick headed to the auditorium lobby for the reception. He found his family and made sure to give his mother a big hug, telling her he was glad she made it. A number of people told him that he did a great job, and he thanked them, but inwardly he just wanted the reception to be over. The reception ended and everyone headed home.
Finally at home, Mick sat down with his mom. "Did they find Terry's killers? Is the road open now?" he asked.
"No, they're still searching for them. The road was still closed when I left. They only let me through because all the cops know me."
"Oh, well I am glad you were able to get through. I hope they find Terry's killers soon."
"Me too hon, me too. They need to go to jail for this."
With that Mick gave his mom a hug and she went off bed. He didn't want to push the conversation much further because he didn't want to upset her. As he lay in bed that night, he stared at the ceiling, wondering why all of this this happened. Terry was a good guy, why did he end up dead just for doing his job? What would drive someone to kill another, especially a cop, over some beer? Is Thalia okay? Why Terry? Mick wished he could have some answers, but they would not come to him. He was especially concerned for Thalia as well because she was very attached to her dad. They shared a great relationship together and Thalia was always telling him about some fun thing he did with her. All of this was battering his weary head, so Mick tried to think of something more pleasant.
He remembered how last year he was at Thalia's birthday party, having a good time with her and with Terry. He remembered the fun and laughter that was to be had, especially after a mishap with the present that he was giving Thalia. Mick had hidden a CD inside a big balloon underneath teddy bear. One of the corners had poked a hole in the balloon and it deflated. So he and Terry were looking around for something to fix it up, and they decided to try some chewing gum. After sticking the gum on, they tried to blow the balloon back up again, but it managed to pop instead. It made everyone in the room laugh and in the end, Thalia loved her gift. He fell asleep thinking about that and other warm memories of Terry.
After a restless night Mick got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. His mom had already left for work and his dad was there making some eggs.
"I heard on the radio they caught the guys who killed Terry," he said.
"Good, throw their asses in jail," was Mick's reply.
Mick felt some comfort that they had been caught, but it wasn't enough. He was now beginning to hurt inside, now coming to terms with the fact that this was not some sort of nightmare; this had all really happened. He wasn't sure how well he would do at school, but he knew he had to try. He went to the bedroom and changed for school, picking out a black T-shirt and black jeans. It felt like the right thing to wear today.
Getting off the bus Mick still wasn't sure how he was going to cope, and he wanted to talk to someone besides his parents. He stopped by the school counselors office and asked to see any of them who were available during the day. He was told he would get a call. He sat in his Spanish class and listened to the lecture as best as he could until the phone rang and he was told to head up to the office. He was told at the office that Dr. Jones was free, so he headed in. The kindly Golden Retriever was sitting in her chair.
"Hi Mick! What's on your mind?" she asked, "Is there still trouble with some of the other students?"
"No, nothing like that. It's worse." Mick sighed. His tail twitched and his voice became very monotone as he tried to hold himself together. "Terry Firewind, that cop that was killed yesterday, he was a friend of the family. I just can't believe that this really happened and I feel so confused right now. I can't think of anything but that he's dead, and even then I don't know that I believe it!" Mick felt his shoulders go limp.
"I just don't get it," Mick continued "he was a good guy and he was trying to do what was right and he ended up dead? Why him? He shouldn't be dead, he did nothing wrong, and for him to end up being shot by his own gun it's just..." and with that Mick buried his face in his paws and began to cry, the hot tears spilling onto his pads. "He didn't deserve to die, it never should have happened" he sobbed. "I wonder about Thalia and how she is doing, but I don't even know that because she isn't here anymore."
Dr. Jones spoke softly, "You're a good friend to care about Thalia, I am sure she would appreciate it. It's okay to feel this way Mick, let it out, you'll feel better." Mick cried for a few minutes longer before it dwindled down to sniffles and sobs. He took a tissue from Dr. Jones when it was offered. "There, do you feel better now?" she asked.
"Yeah, sort of." Mick replied.
Dr. Jones went on "I know it's hard now, and it's very hard on Thalia and the rest of the family as well. You are a great friend for caring about her."
"Well I hope the bastards that did this to Terry are put away for a very long time." said Mick.
"Well that's up to the justice system, but at least they have been found." Mick was sure that Dr. Jones wanted to say more but probably couldn't. After thanking Dr. Jones for her help he stopped at the bathroom to splash some cold water on his muzzle and try to make his fur look presentable again. After cleaning up he was pleased that it wasn't obvious that he had been crying. .
The rest of the day passed on without an incident. Mick felt somewhat better, but he was not in a mood to interact with anyone. He faked paying attention in Chemistry and College Algebra; in choir class they were watching a movie so it gave him a chance to be be alone with his thoughts. Throughout the day he heard some people talking about "that cop that got shot." but it sounded like few people at Green Ledge realized it affected one of their former students. When Mick got home, his dad asked if he was okay. "I'm better now" was all Mick could manage. His mom came home around dinner time and he asked her what she knew about Terry, his killers, anything about the family, how work went today. She told him that it was a quiet and sad day at work. She hadn't heard anything from Thalia or any of the other Firewind family members but the rumors were already flying. The current one was they were holed up in a hotel due to harassment by media reporters and by other folks. The family of the killers were also in hiding for because they were being harassed as well, and some people were talking about exacting some vigilante justice if the killers ever came home. The funeral was being scheduled for sometime next week though she didn't have details yet; she wasn't even sure if it would be open to the public. As much as Mick didn't want to go to this, he hoped he could pay his respects.
The following week Mick's family found out that there would be a wake held on Thursday and the funeral would be held on Friday at the new Blue Lake community center. The plan was made for Mick to drive to school that morning, leave early to drive down to Blue Lake and pick up his mom from the hospital along the way.
Friday arrived and Mick left school to start his journey down to Blue Lake. He got near the junction where he was supposed to turn to head to Blue Lake, but the road was blocked. Craning his neck he saw a lot of police cars on the road and in the parking lot of the casino in front of him, from all different towns. It wasn't just nearby towns either, he spotted one or two that were from towns that were across the state. As he watched, the cop cars were lining up and leaving the parking lot, heading down the road towards Blue Lake. Mick was watching the clock, drumming his pads against the steering wheel, growing more and more frustrated because he knew his mom was going to be waiting for him by the hospital entrance, and he was still at the junction to go to Blue Lake, fifteen miles away. "Come on...come on..." he said as his tail started to lash back and forth, hitting the side of his leg. He wondered why all of the police cars were here as he had never seen this many in one place before. Did they show up for this funeral, or did something else happen? Hell, is there a convention I didn't know about today?
A few minutes later, the cars started moving. Police car after police car left the casino parking lot until it finally emptied out. It seemed like there were about a hundred different cars there. Eventually they let Mick through he followed the long line of cars down the road until he finally reached the hospital. He turned in and found his mom waiting on the sidewalk. As she got in Mick was saying "I'm sorry I'm late, I got stuck up by the casino and I couldn't turn to go to Blue Lake because I had to wait for all of the cop cars to leave first."
"It's okay hon," was his mom's reply.
"Really? You're not mad for waiting?"
"No, you ended up being a part of the funeral procession, and I thought that might happen."
Mick's ears flattened and he looked down at the steering wheel for a moment, his lips drawn tight. He felt extremely stupid for getting mad at having to wait, not knowing that this was going to be expected, and it is what usually happens when it comes to funerals.
Mick drove over to the community center and they went upstairs to find seats in the balcony level of the gymnasium. He looked down at the floor and he could see a black casket, closed and surrounded by flowers, with a flag draped over most of it. The Firewinds sat several feet back from it in a row of chairs separated by an aisle. In the chairs behind them sat hundreds of police officers. The side bleachers in the gym and the balcony were quickly filling up with people from all over the community who had come to pay their respects.
The funeral started with a hymn being played, before the chief of police got up and delivered the first eulogy. He talked about Terry's accomplishments on the force, how he was loved by the community, and about knowing the Firewind family. Thalia got up there and sang a song in tribute to her father. Mick watched as she tried to hold it together but by the time she reached the end of the song, tears were streaming down her muzzle. The preacher of the church the Firewind family attended, Rev. Oliver, gave the sermon. The wolf talked about about his experiences with Terry and implored people to follow Jesus Lion in order to have a rich and fulfilling life. Mick wasn't particularly fond of some of the parts of the sermon, especially about forgiving Terry's killers. He was just not ready to do that and it took everything in his power not to roll his eyes. After Rev. Oliver finished, Tina spoke about her father, which was followed up by eulogies from other family and friends.
For the final procession, the gym filled with music as the police officers down in the floor got up and formed two lines. Each pair of officers would walk up and salute the draped casket before turning around and walking out of the back of the gym. Mick watched this and was overcome with emotion. He and his mom both broke down and cried while they watched the line of officers saluting the coffin. Soon the line thinned out and Mick could see other people coming down to the floor to see the family. Mick decided to head for the stairs to get to the floor of the gym.
Getting to the floor, Mick found Thalia in the crowd. She was in tears as she looked on at her father's casket. He went up to her and gave her a hug, telling her "I'm so sorry." He held her tight, his paws warm against her soft fur. His ears turned as he could hear Rev. Oliver announcing that only family should be on the floor. He gave Rev. Oliver a glare of irritation before letting go of Thalia and walking back to the stairs. He went back up and found his mom in the balcony.
Everyone is heading out to go to the graveyard for the service to bury Terry, do you want to go?" she said.
"No mom, I've had enough, I don't think I could handle that. I want to go home."
She agreed and they made their way to the car and drove back home. Mick went to his bedroom to lay down and read for a while. He was mentally exhausted and wanted to rest before he would have to go to work that evening.
During the Christmas holidays, Mick visited with Thalia and her family a few times, including spending New Years Eve with her. They went out a few more times during the next year before he moved out of the area to go to college.
A month after the funeral Terry's killers were put on trial. They both plead guilty to the murder charges brought against them and each were sentenced to prison. The coyote was sentenced to forty-two years because he was the one who actually shot Terry. His son was sentenced to nine years for his role in the murder. However, the coyote could be paroled in about twelve years and his son in about four years if they both behaved. Mick and his mom were not happy to hear about that, thinking that the sentence was too light. The son would serve out most of his sentence before being sent to a halfway house where he would later escape. He was caught after a month and sentenced to another three years for running off.
It is a cold December night in Washington, D.C. A nearby clock reads 6 PM, early in the evening, but the sky is already pitch back due to the winter weather. The lights were coming on near the Judiciary Square Metro exit as a young Bengal tiger with black and purple stripes rides up the escalator. Stepping out onto the sidewalk he turns around, his breath like a plume of steam escaping into the night air. He looks past the statue of a wild lion watching over his cubs at the wall that has line after line of writing. Turning his attention towards a book mounted on a podium, he flips through the pages, looking through the columns on each page. Stopping on a page he runs his finger down one of the columns of text and finds what he is looking for. He turns around and walks slowly up the sidewalk in front of the wall, seeing on each line a series of names inscribed in the stone. Each name is a police officer that fell in the line of duty. "There should not be this many names here" he mutters. He stops in front of one section, looking down he finds the name he is looking for. He kneels, saying a quiet prayer, then silence for a few minutes as his head remains bowed. Looking up he pulls from his pocket a letter and tapes it to the stones below the wall. He slowly gets up, puts his paws in his pockets, and walks slowly around the memorial before he goes back down the Metro escalator. Anyone walking through the memorial that night would pause as they spotted a hand-written letter telling of a man named Terry Firewind. As they reached the bottom the last thing they would read was "I can finally forgive your killers." Below that, a single name, "Mick."