Till Death 1
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Till Death
by Rune
* * * * *
Chapter 1
Uranium Green
*This is the beginning of 6-chapter furry sci-fi story about a long-distance gay romance that goes horribly right. As a fair warning, the story is a tragedy and features very graphic portrayal of not just sex, but sickness and death. This chapter contains softcore nudity and language (such as the F-word.)*
* * * * *
What if he wasn't there?
What if there was no one at the spaceport to meet him when he got off the ship? He would be alone, with no money, and nowhere to go, on an alien planet... and the radiation suit rental was only for one day.
Dorn had to admit to himself, despite how close they'd grown over the years, it had all been just chats online. Holos and avatars could be borrowed from anywhere, and words on a screen were just words. He'd never actually met Drazzy in person before, and though he was sure Drazzy was legit, there were always horror stories of scams and predators. That tiny shred of doubt cast a shadow over everything...
His computer started beeping. Dorn opened his eyes, and shoved a greyfurred paw in the pocket of his torn up khaki pants. Tufts of his grey legfur poked out of giant holes in the knees. He pulled the beeping blue and grey cylinder out of his pocket, flicked it on, and tapped the transparent blue holomenu that appeared in front of him. The alarm stopped.
He was at the end of the time schedule he'd set for himself. Time for the last dose of anti-radiation medication. He flicked the computer off, put it back in his pocket, and stood up to press the call button above his seat.
The lights in the cabin had been dimmed, but the only ones sleeping were a couple of pudgy blackfurred tourists in bright colored shorts. Neon green and orange holos from an Orazon tour guide floated around them. They, like all the other passengers, were wolves. Deltas to be exact, judging by their bronze neckrings. Near the tourists, an elderly couple with white streaks through their grey fur chatted softly. Their shining aluminum kappa's neckrings stood out from their dull brown and grey clothes that were long out of style. Meanwhile, a whitefurred businesswolf with a headset fidgeted with his computer's green holomenus, unable to do much of anything while they were cut off from the net. His collarless dark dress clothes showed off his silver gamma's neckring, which had the circular engravings of Clan Dorzen, famous for its wealth.
All the other seats were empty: Orazon wasn't a very popular destination with all its radiation.
The small round windows showed only the white and black blotches of jump space. The travel site had been misleading. Saying a starship could "leap" between stars sounded exciting... but actually being aboard and seeing it in action was like watching a black and white lava lamp slowed to the speed of grass growing.
Finally, the yellow feline stewardess came up from the rear of the starship, a cup of water in her paw. She was an ethtarshi, and the first alien Dorn had ever seen in person. Her spotted yellow body moved gracefully, the long blue loincloth of her uniform swaying with her every step. The starline's uniforms were odd: the shirt buckled tightly at the neck, but opened up into a loincloth at the waist, while separate arm and leg sleeves left her shoulders, hips and ass bare. Obviously intended to be enticing to the straight male passengers.
"Herre you jo," she purred, handing him a clear plastic cup of water. He didn't need to tell her what he needed anymore. Even she had gotten used to his medication schedule.
He pulled the rattling neon-yellow bottle out of his pocket, popped it open, and dumped the last two pills onto his paw. He threw them into the back of his mouth, and washed them down with the cold water.
"Thank you," he said, handing the cup back to her.
She walked back into the rear of the starship, her long striped tail swaying with her fluid steps.
There was no more medication left to take. The worst had been the vial of nasty-tasting fluid, 12 hours ahead of entering the radiation of Drazzy's planet. That would protect his kidneys from rotting over the next few days, so they could flush out toxins accumulating in his body from his own rotting cells, reducing the nausea and pain a bit. The pills were to protect his internal organs, but they could only delay the inevitable, slowing down the putrefaction of his bone marrow and the rotting of his intestines that would eventually kill him. Giving him a precious few days longer to live. Though nothing could stop his fur from falling out...
He poked through the holomenus to his files from Drazzy. Holos, old conversations they'd had... anything to take his mind off of his death...
* * * * *
"What do you mean, 'no'... sir?" Dorn felt his eyes open wide in shock.
"Exactly what I said," his father said with the force of an iron clamp.
Dorn felt himself sink down, his tail so low its tip brushed the cool stone floor of the old hall. The ancient cracked woodcarvings on the pillars and rafters had been part of the house since medieval times, their lines lit with soft yellow electric lamps made to resemble candles. He glared straight into his father's ice blue eyes, set into a soft grey muzzle fringed with white. His father's head joined his body with a shining platinum neckring, glittering with green emeralds cut into the lopsided squares of their clan emblem, just above his white collarless dress shirt.
"Is the family out of money, sir?" He asked.
"Of course not," said his father.
"Then why not... sir?" he asked.
"Omegas just don't go to college," his father said matter-of-factly.
His platinum neckring glinting in the artificial candlelight as he leaned forward to the edge of the antique throne's leather cushion.
"Now," continued his father, "There's no shame in hard work and physical labor..."
"Come on!" snarled Dorn, "My test scores were higher than Garin's!"
"For the last fucking time!" growled his father, "Address me as 'sir', omega!"
Dorn jumped, memories of that tone of voice just before spankings as fresh as when he was still a pup.
"Don't you talk to our son like..." snapped his mother.
"Sorry, dear," His father put his palm to the white-tipped fur of his forehead, looking away.
Dorn's gaze wandered to his mother. Her face had the same white-fringed grey fur and blue eyes as his father. But she simply stood there, in agonizing silence, her gold neckring marking her as a beta... respectfully silent as tradition demanded while the clan alpha was speaking. She was dressed in a simple sleeveless dress, synthetic materials in a pattern resembling stitched hides from an era long past, while his father sat on the throne in modern dress clothes.
"Dorn," began his father, "Your brother is a beta..."
"I should have been one too, sir!" growled Dorn.
"Shut up!" growled his father, turning towards him, "Don't bring that up! Don't you dare ever..."
"Why not!" snarled Dorn.
"The matter is not open to discussion!" roared his father.
"Admit it!" growled Dorn, "You always liked him better!"
"No!" his mother shouted, her voice breaking in tears, "We sacrificed for you! Why can't you just thank us?"
"Some sacrifice!" hissed Dorn, looking away, "You get to live in this mansion and Garin goes off to college while I'm stuffed away in the storeroom like..."
"Please, Dorn," his father said softly, suddenly seeming vulnerable, "It wasn't an easy decision for me. I know both my sons were supposed to be betas. I had to break with tradition, but if I hadn't, Izan and Korth were threatening to leave the Clan. There wouldn't have been a Clan anymore if I hadn't."
It was the same tired old story again, the same half-truths that obscured the real truth. The other omegas in his high school class, from Clans Iyanen and Burin, had been betas and gammas by birth and broke with tradition when they chose to become omegas to help their families. And some of the gammas and deltas had been born omegas and were given a higher status when they graduated so they could go to college. Their alphas, their fathers, had broken with tradition to help them move up in life, while his own father had broken tradition to make him an omega against his will...
"Well maybe this Clan should have broken up!" snarled Dorn, turning away from them.
He heard his mother gasp.
"How dare..." his father was so infuriated he choked on his own words.
"After all we did for you!" his mother was on the verge of tears.
He started walking past the ancient carved wooden pillars towards the old creaky door, his paws stepping across the all-too-familiar stones of the floor he'd scrubbed so many times.
"You are not dismissed omega!" growled his father.
He kept walking without a word.
* * * * *
Dorn's paws stomped down the cold, smooth stones of the dark hallway, past the closed doors of storerooms before his bedroom.
He entered the small stone-floored room, and flicked on the lamp. The room was only partially lit with its dim, yellow light. Long shadows were cast behind the wooden bed's mis-matched blankets. The electric lamp was an antique painted in faded colors, sitting on top of the low, battered dresser. There was no other furnature in the bare stone room. The narrow slit of a window, which his parents had cut into the wall when they converted the storeroom into his bedroom, showed only darkness.
He sat down on the cold, hard floor with his back and tail against the cold, hard wall. He pulled his computer out of his pocket, set it down on the floor between his grey paws and switched on the projector. Blue holomenus appeared between his knees, next to the grey fur poking through the holes in his khaki pants. He began plucking away at the holos.
[Dorn Kahan] drazzy! *runs over and hugs*
[Drazin45] Hugs back/ Hey Dojji How are you
[Dorn Kahan] not so good :(
[Drazin45] Awww Hugs/ Whats the matter
[Dorn Kahan] i
[Dorn Kahan] i can't go to college.
[Drazin45] Why not
[Dorn Kahan] my parents wont pay for it.
[Drazin45] Thats not good Is money tight in your family
[Dorn Kahan] they have plenty of money. we live inn a fucking mansion.
[Drazin45] I dont understand Whats the problem
[Dorn Kahan] its not fair they paid garin's whole way through college. but they won't for me.
[Drazin45] Maybe your parents arent as rich as you think
[Dorn Kahan] theyre rich enough money has nothing to do with this.
[Drazin45] What do you think the reason is then
[Dorn Kahan] its because i;m an omega.
[Drazin45] Whats an omega
How could anyone not know what an omega was?
[Dorn Kahan] don't you have leaders on your planet?
[Drazin45] Yes
[Dorn Kahan] and you know how your dad was the leader of your family right?
[Drazin45] Ummm
[Drazin45] That answer would depend on whether you talked to my Mom or my Dad ;)
[Dorn Kahan] ok. *sigh* ill start at the beginning.
[Drazin45] Thats a good idea
[Dorn Kahan] traditinally, several families form a clan.
[Dorn Kahan] the clans are OLD. they havent changed since medieval times.
[Dorn Kahan] everyone has to have a place in the pecking order in the clan.
[Dorn Kahan] my family is leader of the clan so dad is alpha and m mom is beta.
[Dorn Kahan] im supposed to be beta. like my brother. but im not. my dad made me omega.
[Dorn Kahan] he used his power as alpha to do it.
[Drazin45] I take it Omega is a low rank
[Dorn Kahan] the absolute bottom!
[Drazin45] Why did he do that
[Dorn Kahan] thats the problem. he wont tell me and just keps telling me the same bulllshit answer.
[Dorn Kahan] he says it was clan politics. to hold the caln together.
[Dorn Kahan] i t hink he just hates me.
[Drazin45] /Hugs Oh no
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs back*
[Drazin45] I doubt your parents really hate you Though it may seem like it
[Drazin45] Besides cant you go to college on your own
[Dorn Kahan] not really. my parents have all the money. and they wont pay.
[Drazin45] Cant you get a college loan
[Dorn Kahan] who would give one to an omega?
[Dorn Kahan] and omegas dont get through college admissions anyway.
[Dorn Kahan] not unless their alpha gives them special permission.
[Dorn Kahan] omegas get the short end of everything. all the fucking time.
[Drazin45] Oh Dojji I had no idea /hugs
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs back*
[Dorn Kahan] wait you mean to tell me that on your planet things are different?
[Drazin45] We dont have anything like that here I chose what I was interested in and I studied it.
[Drazin45] Though actually getting a job in your field is another matter /Rolls eyes
[Dorn Kahan] i thought you had a job progamming computers.
[Drazin45] Not programming Transferring binary data remember Its much duller than actual progamming
[Dorn Kahan] taht sucks *nuzzles*
[Drazin45] :)
[Drazin45] But my degree is in lingustics How do you think I know your langage so well ;)
[Dorn Kahan] cool.
[Drazin45] Not cool I wish someone had toldme my degree would be worthless
[Drazin45] Now Im stuck with the shittyest office job ever :(
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs*
[Drazin45] Hugs back/
[Drazin45] No matter how hard I tried this deadend job was all I could get
[Dorn Kahan] at least you had a chance to get a degree.
[Dorn Kahan] i;ll never even have the chance to try.
[Dorn Kahan] i was born in the wrong family
[Dorn Kahan] i was born on the wrong planet! *cries*
[Drazin45] Wipes tears/
[Drazin45] Holds gently/
As tears filled Dorn's eyes, the blue holomenus became too blurry to read anymore...
* * * * *
In the cold darkness, Dorn pulled his T-shirt off. He heard it flop to the floor as he tossed it to the corner of the room. He slipped his pants down around his tail and stepped out of them. Then he threw them in the same direction as the T-shirt. Finally, his boxers slid off of his tail and legs and he tossed them aside.
Bending over a bit, he felt the cool, soft blankets of his bed with his paws. He lifted up the blankets and crawled into them. They were icy cold around his fur. He shivered. His body would warm the blankets after a few minutes, but they started out so cold...
If only he had some source of warmth... someone to sleep with... someone to hold him tight and kiss him lovingly...
How many more years of his life would pass with him alone? How much longer would he be cold and alone every night?
He clutched the cool blankets, pressing them closer to his body as if they were the arms and body of a lover. It was hard to imagine, without ever having experienced it before...
It wasn't fair. Why was he fated to be alone? Why did he have to be born into such a traditional family in such a traditional province? He could never be openly gay here, never do anything to attract a lover.
Tears flowed out his eyes, and dripped onto the pillow...
* * * * *
The white blobs in the small round windows slowly resolved into pinpoints of light.
Stars.
At last! The last jump was over!
The lights in the cabin brightened.
"Good morning everyone," the fat blackfurred tourists snorted awake as the warm voice of chief steward Narth came over the intercom again, "We've just completed our last jump and have entered the Orazon system. We will be landing on Orazon shortly, and arriving at our destination, the city of Morlin."
Drazzy's city!
"Hello? Yeah, I'll be there soon. Yes, I read it, and I was thinking..." The whitefurred businesswolf began chatting away in his headset now that they had net reception.
The net!
Dorn poked the blue holomenus from his computer and opened up his chat line.
Drazzy wasn't there.
He opened a text message.
[Message to Drazin45]
i just entered the system. i'll be landing soon. meet me at the front of the spaceport like we planned.
plz reply
[End Message]
Dorn's body tensed.
What if Drazzy didn't reply? What if he wasn't there?
What if he'd been set up?
Please be there Drazzy, please...
* * * * *
Without warning, Dorn's next step carried him backwards instead of forwards. Every muscle tightened as he fell through empty space... only to slam down on his ass and tail.
He sat there on the burning cold road for a moment, stunned. In the dim twilight, dark jagged branches over the road scraped together in the wind. Pain began to burn in his tail where he had fallen on it.
"Fuck!" he screamed.
A gust of wind blew a cloud of cold snow in Dorn's face. Wincing, he wiped the sticky wet flakes from his eyes, only to have more fall on his face and in his eyes. It was a heavy snow: the flakes fell fast, stuck to his clothes and fur, and burned with cold.
"Fuck!" he yelled.
In the bluish twilight, between swirling clouds of falling snow, he slowly saw that the white road ahead had gotten covered with a layer of glassy ice overnight. There was no way he could keep walking on it. Slowly, he pushed himself up onto his paws, stepped shakily into the snow in the open field along the road. His paws crunched knee-deep into the snow. Almost instantly, the bright blue pants of his thin work uniform became damp and chill against his fur, burning wherever their stiff edges pushed his fur aside and reached his skin.
He lurched forward, one awkwardly high step over the snow after another, his paws sinking knee-deep with each stride. His aching tail made it even harder to keep his footing, but he had to keep moving. The faster he got there, the faster he'd be indoors and out of the misery.
More burning cold snow fell in his eyes. He huddled his jacket against himself as tight as he could, and trudged on.
"Omegas don't drive cars," the words of his father echoed in his mind.
"Fuck..." he moaned.
* * * * *
Dorn opened the dull wooden door and stepped onto the smooth concrete, the pads of his paws numb with cold. Quietly, he closed the door behind him. His eyesore blue pants were caked with white snow below the knees, and his paws looked like large snowballs. He began swiping the cold, wet snow off his pants.
"You're late, omega," the evening shift manager dragged every word out while walking towards him, past stacks of cardboard boxes.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Jord," Dorn muttered breathlessly.
Jord had a round, grey face and a dull look to his blue eyes. The circular engraving in his gleaming copper necking marked him as an epsilon of Clan Indry, three ranks above an omega. He wore a collarless white dress shirt and expensive khaki pants, while Dorn's damp employee uniform was a shade of eyesore blue with clashing red cuffs along the ankles and wrists.
"And what the fuck did you do to your uniform?" Jord continued, "Can't you keep anything clean, omega? It's a soaking mess. I can't let the... well it's a good thing you work back with the stock where the customers can't see how filthy you are."
"It was the snow, sir," Dorn explained, doing his best to bury his frustration so it wouldn't show in his voice, "It's almost half a meter high along the road."
"Well, then walk in the road next time," Jord said dryly.
With that, he turned and walked slowly back across the concrete storeroom.
"...stupid omega." Jord muttered to himself.
Dorn frantically brushed the rest of the snow off his pants. They would be damp and cold for hours now. Then he stood on one paw, and then the other, picking out snow stuck in his grey pawfur, which had become tangled and ugly.
Satisfied his pants and paws were cleaned up just enough to be tolerable, he walked quickly around the cardboard boxes of the storeroom while zipping his brown jacket off. He placed it on one of the coathangers on the wall, next to the thicker, warmer coats of the other employees. As he stepped onto the white tile of the store floor, the chip in his employee nametag beeped as it automatically clocked him in.
"Dorn to loading. Dorn to loading," came the voice of Torla over the intercom, distorted almost beyond recognition.
It was the day the truck came in with new stock. Which meant more backbreaking lifting for him than usual.
Dorn sighed, and began walking towards the loading dock in the main storeroom. His pawpads were starting to hurt as the numbness from the cold wore off. The legs of his pants were still damp and burning cold, and the base of his tail still ached, right where he'd fallen on it.
Technically, everyone was supposed to work all the jobs in the store and share duties, but since Dorn was the only omega on the evening shift, no one ever missed an opportunity to pull clan rank on him. He was never allowed to work the registers, and if there was anything heavy to lift, or the high parts of the shelves needed stocking, he was the one stuck with the job.
"Hurry up, omega!" Jord called down the aisle, disgusted.
It was going to be a rough shift.
"Fuck..." Dorn whispered as he started running.
* * * * *
Shivering and sore, Dorn shuffled towards his bedroom, his freezing paws aching against the cold stone floor. Every limb felt like lead.
"Dorn," called his mother, "The great hall still needs scrubbing. Don't forget."
Dorn paused, and turned slowly towards her. She was wearing the same sort of dull sleeveless dress as always.
"Ok," he said with forced pleasantry, "I'll get it in the morning."
"No," his mother said with sudden force, "Today, Dorn."
"I'm sorry," explained Dorn, "I'm really tired. It was a bad day at work..."
"Quit making excuses and do your chores, omega," said his mother sternly.
"Why don't you it yourself?" Dorn moaned.
"Don't you talk to me that way!" she snapped, "You're the family's omega, so you're supposed to support us, and help out!"
It was the start of a the same speech his parents gave him almost every day when they wanted him to do some big chore. They talked like being an omega was some big important job, as if the whole family would collapse if he didn't do this one next thing the second they asked.
"Yeah, I know," he said automatically, just so he wouldn't have to hear the rest of the tired old speech again.
"Don't 'yeah, I know' me again," she said, Get to it!"
* * * * *
Dorn's tired paws shuffled slowly down the cold, smooth stones of the dark hallway, past the closed doors of storerooms before his bedroom. Having to scrub the great hall after a hard day's work left his arms sorer than sore. Forget his arms, every last muscle ached with fatigue. He was so exhausted that even the tip of his aching tail was dragging across the cold floor.
He entered the small stone-floored room, and flicked on the lamp. Its dim light cast deep shadows in the cracks between the irregularly shaped stones of his bedroom walls and floor. The bed was covered with the same mismatched blankets as always, and the tacky antique lamp still sat in the middle of the battered dresser. On the corner of the dresser next to the bed lay the blue-grey cylinder of his computer, plugged into its thin grey charging cord. Across the room, the narrow slit window showed only a white mass of snow.
He unbuttoned his eyesore blue and red employee uniform. He had no closet, and to keep the uniform from wrinkling he had to hang it on a coathook he'd drilled into the wall himself. He pulled his striped boxers down around his tail and ankles and threw them in the general direction of the other dirty clothes in the shadow of the bed.
Now he was down to his grey, bare fur. It was a big relief: his employee uniform was made of an uncomfortable stiff material, made even more miserable by how damp the ankles of the pants got in the snow.
Though his neckring seemed to weigh down on him by the end of the day. The simple iron ring had the angled rectangle emblem of Clan Kahan engraved into it. The temptation to find the latch at the back and take it off, just for a few minutes, flashed through his mind... but he didn't dare. Only clanless outcasts went without neckrings.
He reached over to the corner of the dresser, and flicked his computer on. Instantly transparent blue holomenus floated above it. Then he took his brush out of the top drawer of the dresser and began brushing painful tangles out of his fur, starting with the top of his headfur. Almost every inch of his fur was tangled, his head and paws especially. The wind and snow had done a number on his fur.
With one paw, he occasionally poked a few blue holomenus.
[Drazin45] Dojji! :)
[Dorn Kahan] drazzy! *runs over and hugs*
[Drazin45] Hugs back/
[Dorn Kahan] *nuzzles*
[Drazin45] Licks your muzzle/
[Drazin45] Bad day?
[Dorn Kahan] im sor tired i think my arms will fall off.
[Dorn Kahan] and mi tail.
[Drazin45] Oh no /Hugs tighter
[Dorn Kahan] work was awful. i hadd to walk through a snowstorm. i was late.
Dorn put the brush down to type at the holokeys with both paws.
[Dorn Kahan] the boss wasn't happy at all.
[Dorn Kahan] i think he made up a few extra things to do just so id have to lift heavy stuff more.
[Drazin45] Thats terrible :(
[Dorn Kahan] i hope your day was better.
[Drazin45] Not really I can see data streams when I close my eyes
[Dorn Kahan] another "crunch week" at the office?
[Drazin45] Sighs/ Yes
[Dorn Kahan] aww. *licks your cheek*
[Drazin45] :)
[Dorn Kahan] this is one of those times i wish we were in the same room. so i could hug you for real.
[Drazin45] Its ok I sometimes wish I could give you more than just words on a screen
[Dorn Kahan] i know.
[Drazin45] :)
Dorn tensed a bit. What would happen if Drazzy knew how he felt about him? What if Drazzy was a homophobe? What if instead of taking things to the next level, Drazzy was offended and he lost even the friendship they had already? ...he hadn't left enough clues in his words for him to figure it out, did he?
[Dorn Kahan] sometimes, i just wish we could be together.
[Drazin45] As do I
[Dorn Kahan] i want to hold you. and feel your skin
[Dorn Kahan] i wonder if its smooth or scaley?
[Drazin45] LOL I cant figure for the life of me what fur would feel like
He wanted to tell Drazzy so much. He should tell him right now. Then he'd know one way or another, and not have to worry anymore. Just type the words and find out once and for all what Drazzy would really think...
[Dorn Kahan] lol
[Dorn Kahan] drazzy
[Dorn Kahan] i've been thinking about something.
[Drazin45] What
[Dorn Kahan] have you ever heard of two different species falling in love?
[Drazin45] Yes
[Dorn Kahan] really?
[Drazin45] Of course its not common on my planet But in mixed species cities with lots of interstellar trade
[Drazin45] I hear it happens all the time
[Dorn Kahan] it sounds good.
[Dorn Kahan] that they can cooperate like that.
[Dorn Kahan] what do you think?
[Drazin45] I think it matters less who is in love than what kind of love it is.
[Drazin45] Opposite gender Same gender Different species Im ok with it
[Drazin45] If two people really care about each other Thats what matters
Dorn's heart was racing. Drazzy had all but said he'd approve of a same sex, interspecies relationship with him!
[Dorn Kahan] Drazzy. Can i tell you something serious? somthing personal?
[Drazin45] Of course.
[Dorn Kahan] i think im falling for you.
[Dorn Kahan] i don't know if i told you this before or not, but i'm gay.
[Dorn Kahan] and evey day i feel more attracted to you.
[Drazin45] Seriously
[Dorn Kahan] yes
[Drazin45] :)
[Drazin45] Oh Dojji I love you
[Drazin45] I wanted to tell you for so long but I didnt know what youd think Or how to tell you
A burst of joy flowed through Dorn's body. Every muscle suddenly seemed warmer and lighter.
[Dorn Kahan] i love you too!
[Dorn Kahan] i was worried about the same thing. i didn;t know if you were straight or gay.
[Dorn Kahan] or if you already had a mate.
[Drazin45] OH Im gay alright ;)
[Drazin45] And Im single Ive been single way too long in fact
[Drazin45] Sigh/ :(
[Dorn Kahan] *holds you in his arms*
[Drazin45] Holds tightly/
[Drazin45] I only had one B/F For a short time
[Drazin45] It didnt go very well between us
[Dorn Kahan] you're luckier than me. im a virgin.
[Drazin45] Snuggles closer/
[Drazin45] Consider yourself lucky You dont have the pain of losing the love you once had
[Dorn Kahan] its easy to say that after you've been with someone.
[Dorn Kahan] being a virgin hurts a little more every year. *cries*
[Drazin45] Kisses your muzzle gently/
[Dorn Kahan] *opens muzzle and accepts kiss*
[Drazin45] Kisses deeply/
[Dorn Kahan] *strokes your back*
[Drazin45] You naughty thing
[Drazin45] I thoight you had morals on your planet
Dorn froze. He didn't mean to overstep Drazzy's boundaries. Would he be angry with him now?
[Dorn Kahan] i'm sorry i just got carried away.
[Drazin45] My horns are back there
[Drazin45] Theyre an erogenous zone
[Dorn Kahan] i'm sorry i didn't mean to. I had no idea.
[Drazin45] LOL
[Drazin45] Its ok I know you had no way of knowing that
Dorn took a deep breath, relieved.
[Dorn Kahan] can i ask what does your horns look like?
[Drazin45] Theyre not really horns Theyre made of flesh and sort of bend down a bit
[Drazin45] And they glow ;)
[Dorn Kahan] wtf
[Dorn Kahan] you're not pulling my tail are you?
[Drazin45] Im serious
[Drazin45] Hang on Ill take a holo
[Dorn Kahan] ok
[Drazin45 is sending a file "pic005379.hhol" size 485,493 bytes]
* * * * *
Bits of orange and green-dotted grey had replaced the blackness of space in the windows behind Dorn. It was Drazzy's planet, coming into view in the windows in the rear of the cabin. The ship had turned around and pointed its engines towards the planet to slow down before entering the atmosphere. Though Dorn couldn't feel a thing with the artificial gravity dampening the forces.
"You never heard of it?" the whitefurred businesswolf hadn't stopped talking into his headset, "The whole planet's nothing but beaches. And tropical ones too. Oh, definitely. Much better than the hell-hole I'm heading to now, that's for sure."
He couldn't remember when he had fallen for Drazzy. The first time he knew for sure he was attracted to him. He only knew he was deeply in love with Drazzy now, as if they had always been lovers. He wished he had saved the previous conversations. The ones leading up to when they came out to each other, so he could remember the days he'd developed feelings for him. But how was he to know they were going to be lovers? Until then, he had never had such strong feelings for anyone....
One of the blue holomenus floating in front of Dorn started beeping and flashing white. He jabbed it with a paw.
[Message From: Drazin 45]
in sbwy now
i b there asaic
w8 4 me
[End Message]
Dorn took a deep breath. Drazzy was there!
Though he didn't recognize some of Drazzy's abbreviations. "sbwy"? "asaic"? At least he got the part about waiting for him. Was that Drazzy's way of saying he'd be late?
"Oh? Why is that?" the businesswolf continued to chat into his headset without even turning to look at the planet, "Really? Goddess!"
He only had glimpses of the planet through the small round windows. In the windows on one side of the cabin was the planet's dayside: candy orange seas sparked, and in one window a blue-green continent glittered. On the other side of the cabin was the planet's nightside: eerie green lights shone in the dark heart of a shadowy grey continent.
Dorn watched it all intently, committing every last cloud, every last curl of land and sea, every last glimmer of green light to memory. He wouldn't live to see anything like this ever again. Once he was exposed to the radiation of the planet, he'd only have a few days left to live. The end wouldn't be pretty either: his digestive tract would be killed off by the radiation, and before he died, the remains of his guts would pass out of his ass...
The fat blackfurred tourists got out a holocam and began climbing around the seats, snapping holos from different windows.
"Don't stand there," scolded the lady, "You can't see anything through that window."
"What about over there?" the guy said, taking a holo anyway.
"Where?" said the lady, "You mean this window?"
"And I thought the kethtarshi were bad," said the businesswolf, "You sure?"
"No, the other one," said the guy.
Dorn sighed, and pulled his black triangular earbuds out of his pocket. They didn't match his computer or go with his clothes, but at least they worked.
"Yeah, it's hard to pronounce weird alien names." said the businesswolf, "You remember what they're called?"
"Let's try this one," the tourist guy pointed to another window.
He shoved the earbuds in his ears. They fit snugly.
"You sure you got the settings right?" asked the lady.
"Sometimes I wonder if they just make that shit up, just to confuse other species," said the businesswolf.
With another poke, he picked out a song by Wrothgar, and an electric guitar blasted out a medieval melody.
* * * * *
In the warm darkness, the metal song started up, tinny and off-key. Dorn moaned, writhing about miserably.
He thrust a paw into the cold air and felt the rough edge of the dresser. He gripped the computer and flicked the music off.
The morning air was cold enough on his arm. He'd have to expose his entire bare body to get up. Why bother? All that waited for him was chores, more chores, and his job. And more chores when he got home. And constant reminders he was an omega from his parents, his boss, even complete strangers...
Not even changing the harsh alarm for his favorite song could inspire him to get out of bed.
He opened his eyes a bit. There was barely any light: the narrow slit window in his room faced west. And his eyes were sore. If only he hadn't stayed up so late talking to Drazzy online.
Drazzy!
No matter what happened today, no matter how miserable it was, Drazzy would be there. They chatted online at the end of almost every day. And the more of his chores he got done before his shift, the more time they'd have to talk.
A rush of cool air assaulted his body as he threw the sheets off and sat up.
* * * * *
While the music blared in his ears, Dorn dipped the white plastic scrub brush in the beige plastic bucket again, and scrubbed even more of the irregularly shaped stone tiles. The grey fur of his paw was slicked down uncomfortably with soapy water from dipping the brush into the bucket again and again.
Of all his chores, he hated scrubbing the floors the most, and the great hall most of all. It was big, and it took forever. His knees were already sore from kneeling against the hard stone floor. Right where the holes in the knees of his pants were.
He sighed. He did so much scrubbing, he was all-too-familiar with every stone, every crack between them, every little contour of the floor. He could picture the floors of the house in every detail with his eyes closed.
If he could finish all the chores in the morning before his shift started, he wouldn't have to come home to them. And that left him more time at night to chat with Drazzy.
He dipped the brush into the bucket and scrubbed the next patch of floor just a little harder...
The computer in his pocket started beeping. He stood up slowly on his aching legs, and reached in his pocket with his dry paw to flick the alarm off.
Time to put the next load of laundry in the machine.
He pushed the old creaky door of the great hall open, and walked across the soft striped rugs of the richly wooden paneled living room.
"...at what's been in the headlines lately. Wives 'co-alphas' of a clan with their husbands? Two gays forming their own renegade 'clan' just so they can get married? This is the liberal agenda..."
Dorn couldn't help hearing a bit of Arden Boutry's conservative news commentary over the music from his earbuds as he stepped around a life-size holo of him. The aging whitefur's glowing transparent figure was standing in the middle of the living room, wearing his usual sort of bright blue paisly dress shirt and grey pants below his silver gamma's neckring.
His mother was sitting at the dark wooden end table facing away from the holoprogram she was listening to, playing solitaire with holocards floating just above the table. Below her gold neckring, she was wearing the same sort of brownish sleeveless dress as always. Her white-sprinkled grey tail dangled through the large gap between the top of the seat cushion and the bottom of the chair back. The rest of the room was taken up by shelf after shelf of her china plates and crystal figurines he was forever dusting for her, along with the massive antique books of his father's encyclopedia of military history, and the antique clocks he also had to dust.
"Dorn," his mother said without turning.
He walked up to her, and pulled an earbud out with his dry paw to listen to her.
"...away at the traditions that form the foundation of the very fabric of our society."
"Don't forget to clean the bathroom today," she continued while flipping holocards.
"I won't," he replied, "I was going to get that right after the great hall."
"Ok..." she said as if in disbelief.
"They want to take away your clans, your jobs, your pups..."
He shoved the black earbud back into his ear as he continued into the stone-floored hallway that ended in his room. Through a doorway in the side of the hallway was storeroom with the washer and dryer.
He was sick of lifting the laundry. Sick of it! Didn't he lift enough shit already on his shift?
He had to finish it before his shift, he reminded himself, or else he'd end up doing it instead of chatting with Drazzy...
He opened the washer and began lifting bunches of damp clothes into the dryer.
* * * * *
The weeds were dry and stiff under Dorn's paws, irritating them. Worst of all was the clover: their pink flowers were just the right height for his paws to decapitate them with every stride, and they became stuck in the spaces between his claws. He had to pause to kick them out of his paws every now and then. Every clump of long, soft grasses was a welcome relief.
He had to cut across the field if he wanted to make it to work on time. Ahead, the sun had already sunk below the dark pine trees, tinting the sky orange above them. At least the heat had come down to a tolerable level this evening.
He could barely see the brown branching plants to avoid them. Ugly brown burrs had been getting stuck to the eyesore red cuffs at the bottom of his uniform's pants, where they stood out. Jord kept complaining about them, and how "filthy" he was, before Dorn even had a chance to pick them off his clothes. He'd figured out those brown plants were the culprits only yesterday.
As he passed under the sweet-scented grove of pines, the carpet of dry needles was a relief after the weeds.
At last, through the branches, he glimpsed the massive grey side wall of the megastore, surrounded by just enough asphalt for the supply trucks to drive around back.
The dull wooden back door recognized the chip in his employee nametag and unlocked.
Dorn paused. He sighed at the thought of facing Mr. Jord another day. He was sick of being addressed as "omega", sick of being given the heaviest boxes to lift, sick of having to clean up every spill.
But when it was over, he would be able to go home and chat with Drazzy online. No matter what happened on the shift, no matter what went wrong, he would still have Drazzy. And if they were ever going to meet someday, he would need the money he was saving from the job.
He took a deep breath and opened the door as quietly as he could, stepped inside the concrete storeroom, and gently closed the door. If he had a single burr or leaf on him, and Jord saw it...
"Oh, hi, Dorn!" Toran, the assistant manager, was looking at a large white inventory holomenu floating between him and a stack of cardboard boxes. His shining aluminum kappa's neckring was engraved with the square symbol of Clan Iyanen. His dark grey fur stood out against his neckring and the white dress shirt and khaki pants he was wearing.
"Hi, Mr. Toran," said Dorn, looking down at his eyesore blue pants for burrs.
"You got something stuck to your tail," said Toran. He stepped over behind Dorn and fished out a couple of brown burrs from his fur.
"Thanks," said Dorn.
"Those things keep finding you," said Toran, "Oh, Mr. Jord called in sick today."
"Alright," said Dorn.
Yes! Things were looking up a bit. Toran would keep him as busy as Jord, but at least he didn't talk down to him all the time.
"Go ahead and clock in," said Toran, "Now where..." he began looking around the room in search of a wastebasket, holding the burrs in his paw.
* * * * *
Dorn lay across the mismatched sheets of his bed on his stomach, poking at the blue holomenus in front of him. Crickets chirped as a soft breeze through the open slit window billowed through the bare fur of his legs and tail. The iron neckring was heavy on his shoulders by the end of the day, but he didn't mind: Drazzy said it looked good on him.
Tomorrow was his day off... which meant more time to chat with Drazzy once he got his chores done.
To one side of the holomenus floated a nude holo Drazzy had sent of himself, miniature and transparent. The blue-green scaley had posed himself attractively: sitting at an angle on a dark grey round cushion with his green legs bent down underneath him, while his blue tail, lined with blue bulbs, curled around his two-toed feet, almost long enough to touch his knees. Six green eyes, three pairs of them, looked out at Dorn from a shiny greenish snout. Drazzy's mouth was turned in a slight, soft smile. The shiny green skin gradually became bluish on the sides and back of his head, where the fleshy horns started: bright blue bulbs on dark blue stems, running down the length of his spine and large tapering tail... his tail ended in a particularly large blue bulb. Drazzy had very nice definition in his shiny green chest and biceps: not too skinny, but not too overstated either. But his greenish balls and sheath were the main attraction. Though he had never seen it, Dorn could imagine Drazzy's green cock sitting inside the sheath...
He had sent Drazzy a naked holo of himself in return, but it wasn't half as good. He posed his greyfurred body on the mismatched blankets of his small bed, and took it with the low-res holocam in his computer. It made the holo look like a swarm of tiny colored bubbles some abstract artist had arranged to loosely resemble him, but Drazzy said he was very attractive anyway. If there was one bright side to all the physical labor he had to do all the time, it was that it built up his muscles, sculpting his body. He wondered if Drazzy could be looking at his holo at the same moment he was looking at Drazzy's...
[Dorn Kahan] drazzy! *runs over and holds you in his arms*
[Drazin45] Dojji :)
[Drazin45] Holds tight/
[Dorn Kahan] *nuzzles gently*
[Drazin45] /Kisses your ear
[Dorn Kahan] *licks the glowing tip of your first horn*
[Drazin45] :) Kisses your neck/
[Dorn Kahan] *kisses the end of your muzzle*
[Drazin45] Opens muzzle/
[Drazin45] Accepts kiss/
[Dorn Kahan] *kisses deep*
[Drazin45] :)
[Drazin45] Had a good day
[Dorn Kahan] it was alright. my boss wasn't in today. so i got the assistant manager.
[Drazin45] Is he better somehwo
[Dorn Kahan] he treats me like a normal person. the boss reminds me i'm an omega all the tiem.
[Drazin45] That sucks /Hugs
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs back*
[Dorn Kahan] and you?
[Drazin45] The crunch is on still Entering week 2
[Dorn Kahan] arg! *holds you tighter*
[Drazin45] Im giong to start seeing numbers in my sleep soon :(
[Dorn Kahan] whats up with that?
[Drazin45] Story going around the office is its the stock market Its been on a roller coaster with high volume
[Drazin45] Which means more clients And more data for us to process
[Dorn Kahan] well i hope the "cruch" ends soon.
[Drazin45] Me too :p
What could he tell Drazzy to cheer him up? Maybe what he had started planning for them...
[Dorn Kahan] did i tell you ive started saving money? for us?
[Drazin45] Oh For what
[Dorn Kahan] so someday, eventually, one of us can fly to the other's planet.
[Drazin45] Really
[Dorn Kahan] yes. it's gonig to be months though.
[Dorn Kahan] our planets are at opposite ends of the galaxy.
[Drazin45] Hmmm Does that makee it expensicve
[Dorn Kahan] very.
[Drazin45] Well Its a start I suppose I could pitch in some of my own money
[Dorn Kahan] that would help a lot.
[Drazin45] What did you have in mind if we got together
[Dorn Kahan] what we've always talked about.
[Dorn Kahan] i want to hold you in my arms, kiss you, make love to you.
[Dorn Kahan] maybe even move to your planet. so i can be with you.
[Drazin45] Uh oh
[Drazin45] Arent you forgetting the radiation
Radiation? That didn't sound good...
[Dorn Kahan] what radiation?
[Drazin45] Im a Ordinaz Remember
[Dorn Kahan] yes
[Drazin45] Were radioactive Remember
[Dorn Kahan] ummm, no
[Drazin45] Our bodies emit radiation We cant be in the same room with other species
Dorn blinked, and sat up on the bed. Was that even possible?
[Dorn Kahan] wtf
[Dorn Kahan] you're puling my tail
[Drazin45] No
[Drazin45] Im being serious right now
[Drazin45] We have uranium and radium in our bodies
[Dorn Kahan] seriously?
[Drazin45] Yes All life on my planet does Its in our life processes
[Drazin45] Other species from other planets die in the same room with us
[Drazin45] They have to wear radiation suits to be near us
Dorn felt his heart falling into an abyss. His dream was cracking apart in front of him.
[Dorn Kahan] that cant be possible.
[Dorn Kahan] wouldn't the radiation kill you too, if it ws that bad?
[Drazin45] Our species has better DNA repair than most
[Drazin45] Our cells regenerate much faster than the radiation can damage them
[Drazin45] You cant visit me except in a suit
[Drazin45] WE can never touch
[Dorn Kahan] please no
[Dorn Kahan] *cries*
[Drazin45] Oh Dojji
[Drazin45] Im sorry we cant ever be together physically
[Drazin45] We cant ever be closer than we are now
[Dorn Kahan] but
[Dorn Kahan] looks it up*
Everything he read in the net about Drazzy's species, the zordinaz, was what Drazzy had said, only harsh and technical. Simply put, just standing next to one of those beautiful blue-green lizards would give your average sentient a lethal dose of radiation in only an hour. Holding them close and kissing would probably be even worse...
Tears began to well in his eyes, blurring the blue, floating text. As tears began to dampen his facefur, his limbs went weak and he slid off the bed onto the hard, cold stone floor. The one thing that he cared about, the thought he would someday be able to hold his love in his arms... had been ripped from him. The only person in the galaxy he'd ever truly loved was now out of reach, forever.
He fell onto his side, curled into a ball against the wall, crying the hardest he ever had in his life.
[Drazin45] I wish there was some way to change this
[Drazin45] But I cant change the laws of nature Its just the way it is
[Drazin45] Our love will have to stay at a distance like this
[Drazin45] Dojji
[Drazin45] Are you there
* * * * *
The bits of orange and grey planet began shifting around in the windows. They disappeared from one side of the cabin, then filled all the small round windows on one side, and then finally shifted to the front windows. The ship had turned around to enter the planet's atmosphere nose first.
With the manic guitar riffs of Grendel blocking out their words, Dorn watched the pudgy blackfurs in shorts pointing around the cabin, confused.
Then, the spotted yellow form of the ethtarshi stewardess entered his view from behind. Her high-collared blue shirt ended just above her tail, which swayed back and forth. Only its base and tip poked out of its blue sleeve. The blue sleeves of her arms and legs stopped just below her ass and shoulders. Whoever had designed the starline's uniform definitely had tantalizing straight males in mind.
He popped the black earbuds out to hear what she was saying.
"...inn yourr zeats," she hissed, "Werre joinng to ennterr zthe atmozpherre of zthe plannet nnow."
"Honey, which seats were we in?" asked the guy.
"Wasn't it those?" questioned the lady.
"I'm not sure," said the guy, "I think..."
"Your attention please," came the warm voice of chief steward Narth, "We're going to be entering the planet's atmosphere shortly. Please remain in your seats until the starship has landed. There will be a net blackout while we enter the planet's atmosphere. Once more, please remain in your seats until the starship has landed."
"Can you tell us which seats we were in?" the blackfurred lady asked the stewardess, "We can't remember..."
"It doeznnt matterr," the stewardess sighed, "Herre!" she pointed to the row next to her, "Zit downn herre."
"No," said the lady, "We definitely were over..."
"Zit downn alrready!" yowled the stewardess.
"Ztay downn, pleaze," she pleaded as they stuffed themselves into the seats, "Ztherrez joinng to be zome turrbulennze."
"What?" said the guy.
"Turrb-ul-ennze," said the stewardess.
"What ends?" said the guy.
"Juzt ztay inn zthe zeatz..." moaned the stewardess.
The stewardess walked quickly to the back of the cabin and sat in a seat along the last row, behind Dorn.
"What did she say?" the guy hissed to the lady.
"I'm not sure," she replied, "Tube ends, or something?"
A flash of yellow streaked across the windows on one end of the cabin. Then the other. Then more of them flickered, until they formed the continuous glow of the flames of atmospheric entry.
The ship shuddered and jolted a few times...
Dorn's fur stood on end.
This was it. The ship was about to land on the planet where he would die...
* * * * *
"Fuck!" Dorn yelled as the edge of a large cardboard box fell onto his paw.
It rolled down the red metal mesh steps of the portable stairs, something clattering noisily inside, and fell on the white tile floor with a crash. Whatever was in it, it was made of metal, and fucking heavy.
He wiggled his aching paw. It seemed ok. Nothing broken. He was lucky the box didn't land on his paw straight on.
Suddenly, Torgi rounded the corner of the steel shelves. The tall blackfur was wearing the same eyesore blue and red employee uniform as everyone else, below the steel neckring of a Burin lambda.
"What's goin' on?" Torgi asked, "Did you drop this box?"
"It fell on my foot and rolled down the stairs," explained Dorn.
"I hope you didn' break anythin'..." concern filled Torgi's voice, "Mr. Jord'll have my ass."
He pulled out a utility knife from his pants and slit the box open. Inside were more boxes. With pictures of iron clamps on them.
"You're lucky," said Torgi, "These are like impossible to break. Be careful, omega!"
He turned and disappeared around the shelves almost as quick as he came.
Dorn walked slowly down the red steps, his paw still aching. They seemed to suck all the heat from his paws. At least he had something cold against his aching paw.
Setting paw on the smooth white tile floor, he lifted the heavy, clattering box onto one shoulder. Now he had to carry the fucking heavy thing all the way back up the steps.
"Fuck," he muttered to himself.
* * * * *
Dorn trudged towards home through the snow with careful, deliberate steps. With the pants of his work uniform stuffed into the thick rubber boots, it was impossible for him to bend his ankles while he walked. At least the boots kept the snow from ruining his pants.
He shivered and huddled his arms around his thin jacket. The cold air chilled his throat with every breath. The sky was crystal clear with stars. It was going to be a cold night.
He'd followed the same path through the snow so much, day after day, he'd carved out something of a trail through it, so it was easy to find his way back home even in the dark. Near the path, here and there, the ends of dry grasses were poking out of the pale snow. Ahead, the pine trees were half covered with white, each branch holding a bit of pale snow in its dark needles.
The daily grind continued forever. No university would let an omega in, so getting a degree and a better job was out of the question. His only other escape, moving to live with Drazzy, had been closed off when he found out about Drazzy's radiation. His life could never be anything more than scrubbing the floors, doing the laundry, dusting the pointless knicknacks, unloading the trucks, lifting backbreaking boxes of snow chains, or metal clamps... he had half a mind to just stop in the middle of the field and quit. He could just drop into the snow, and slowly freeze... he heard that as you froze to death, after a while your body just went numb and you didn't feel a thing...
He stopped walking.
Why not? Why go on suffering needlessly? Why keep doing pointless chores for his parents? Why keep moving worthless shit for Mr. Jord?
The thought came to him slowly though his cold brain. Even though he had no chance to visit Drazzy anymore, he was still saving money. It would still take him a year or two to afford it, but he was eventually going to buy himself a certain green bike he'd spotted online.
Then there would be no more trudging through the snow.
And once he had the freedom to go wherever he wanted, he had a vague idea of leaving his family and the rest of his clan behind...
* * * * *
Dorn's boots crunched across the snow-covered gravel driveway, which he had shoveled the day before. He couldn't wait to take them off: his paws were burning hot. There were only a few lights in the windows of the old, dark manor looming ahead, illuminating the white clouds of his breath in the chill night air.
He walked up to the front door, placed his paw on the cold scanning plate, and it unlocked. He stomped into the dark, ancient foyer, every step of his neon yellow boots dropping melting snow on the stone floor. He beelined for the closet and sat down on the hard stone floor to unlatch his boots. The only other sound was the ticking of the antique clock in front of the woodwork, as if to remind him how quickly the seconds of his life were passing away wasted.
At last, he yanked the boots off around his paws, and stood them up in the closet. Immediately, cool air flowed between his pawpads. Then he got to his paws and took off his ragged brown jacket and hung it up next to his parents' thick thermal coats.
Dorn closed the closet and shuffled along the cold stone hallway towards his room. Tonight, he was glad to have the cold floor to soothe his hot, aching paws. He closed the door and switched on the ugly lamp. White snow had completely covered his narrow window again.
He pulled off the eyesore blue and red shirt and pants of his work uniform and hung them up on the hook. Then he pulled his striped boxers down around his tail and flung them in the general direction of the dirty clothes scattered by the foot of the bed. As always, by the end of the day the iron neckring seemed to weigh a ton, digging its way into his neck.
He reached over to his blue-grey computer on the corner of the dresser and flicked it on. Sitting on the edge of the blankets on the bed, he pulled out the black earbuds and stuffed them in his ears. He began jabbing the blue holomenus, and the manic guitar playing of Grendel started up.
He called up the motorcycle site he'd marked the other day, bringing up the holo of the one he was saving for: a metallic green bike, sleek and angular, but with just enough space on the rear of the seat to attach a storage box. Even with the money he had originally been saving to visit Drazzy, it would take him about a year and a half to save up for it, but once he had it, there would be no more trudging through the snow. Work would be easier and he could save up a little money to move. Maybe to a city where clan traditions were being broken. Maybe one of those cities that conservatives like Arden Boutry complained about all the time...
[Drazin45] Hey Dojji :)
[Dorn Kahan] hi, drazzy
[Drazin45] Hugs/
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs back*
[Drazin45] Whats up
[Dorn Kahan] not much. same old, same old.
[Drazin45] Work getting you down
[Dorn Kahan] the job never changes. but the snow means i have to shovel it, scrub the floors more.
[Drazin45] You mentioned that yesterday
Dorn continued to poke around the motorcycle site, looking longingly at each once. The better ones were so expensive, he doubted he'd ever be able to afford one, not with the kinds of jobs an omega could get.
[Drazin45] On my end of the Galaxy works been quiet No crunch time or any sign things might pick up
[Dorn Kahan] that's good.
[Drazin45] Hey Dojji Ive been thinking about what you said the other day
That was a dumb conversation. He'd been depressed lately, and had suddenly let loose and dumped all his thoughts on Drazzy. Lots of longing to be with him, lots of cuddling role-play, as if there could be some fantasy where they made love with no radiation from Drazzy to get in the way. He hadn't even bothered saving it, it was so painfully embarhassing.
[Dorn Kahan] don't worry about it. i was just being emo t hat day.
[Drazin45] I know ;)
[Drazin45] Do you really feel that way
[Drazin45] That youd rather die if it meant being with me
[Dorn Kahan] i told you it was a stupid conversation.
[Drazin45] Actually Thats the first youve said it was stupid :p
[Dorn Kahan] well it was
[Dorn Kahan] we can't ever be together
[Drazin45] Dojji Youve been down ever since you found out about the radiatino
[Dorn Kahan] not really. im just focused on other aspects of life than love. career. music. bikes.
[Drazin45] Thats not what you said the other day :p
What was Drazzy getting at? He wouldn't take no for an answer...
[Dorn Kahan] wtf is t his about?
[Drazin45] I never seriously considered us beign together physically before
[Drazin45] Not when I firsst told you about the radiation Not in the months since
[Drazin45] I think I finally starting to understand it from your perspective
Dorn's body tensed a bit.
[Dorn Kahan] are you saying?
[Dorn Kahan] youve changed your mind in some way?
[Drazin45] I dont think I ever told you what its like for Zordinaz like me
[Drazin45] WE cant visit other planets without radiation suits They keep our radiation in
[Drazin45] And we have to travel in separate compartments on starships
[Drazin45] We can never just be there on another planet Enjoy scenery wihthout it dying around us
Dorn had never thought about the radiation problem from Drazzy's perspective before. But now that he did, it seemed sad in a way his life never was.
[Dorn Kahan] that sucks
[Dorn Kahan] *hugs*
[Drazin45] Hugs back/
[Dorn Kahan] so youve said when aliens visit your planet, they're alwasy in suits
[Drazin45] Thats right
[Drazin45] We have an agreement with the rest of the Federation
[Drazin45] WE have to wear suits when we tarvel to other planets
[Drazin45] We get to stay normally dressed on our homeworld and visitors have to wear suits
[Drazin45] Theyre responsible for protecting themselves on our planet ITs their decision to come here
[Dorn Kahan] and if they dont wear the suits they die.
[Dorn Kahan] and touching a ordinaz is forbidden.
[Drazin45] /Hugs
[Dorn Kahan] *holds tighter*
[Drazin45] Thats what I wanted to talk to you about
Dorn's fur stood on end.
[Dorn Kahan] what about ti?
[Drazin45] Theres actually no laws against a visitor not wearing a suit
[Drazin45] Or touching one of us
[Drazin45] Its a taboo I learned from an early age I could never meet an alien without killing them
[Drazin45] Or killing the plants and trees of another planet I visited
[Drazin45] Its a horrible thought for a young child To have killing power you never wanted
[Drazin45] :(
[Dorn Kahan] thats awful
[Dorn Kahan] *holds gently and nuzzles*
[Drazin45] Buries muzzle in your fur
[Drazin45] Dojji Im choked up
Drazzy was crying? He was usually the less emotional of the two of them.
[Dorn Kahan] *licks your muzzle gently*
[Drazin45] Smiles weakly/
[Drazin45] I was trainged all my life t o never even think about it
[Drazin45] I never thought about being with an aliem before
[Drazin45] Let alone one I love so much
[Drazin45] Gods know I want to hold you Make love to you
[Drazin45] But I dont want to lose you
[Drazin45] Just for a one night stand :(
[Dorn Kahan] drazzy
[Dorn Kahan] this is no one night stand.
[Dorn Kahan] i didnt evn know what you looked like when i said i loved you
[Dorn Kahan] i didnt fall for your looks or your body
[Dorn Kahan] and you didnt fall for mine either.
[Dorn Kahan] what connected was our minds, our souls
[Drazin45] I never thought of it that way before
[Drazin45] :)
As he typed them out, Dorn's thoughts were coming into focus.
[Dorn Kahan] i dont wnt to die to be with you either
[Dorn Kahan] but no one lives forever.
[Dorn Kahan] and if i can do anything i wanted to in the one life i have, i would be with you.
[Drazin45] So would I
[Dorn Kahan] if i could live for a thousand years without you
[Dorn Kahan] or one day with you
[Dorn Kahan] i would pick one day with you.
[Drazin45] Dojji If it means that much to you
[Drazin45] If youre really willing to go through with this
[Drazin45] Knowing full well it will kill you You accept that
[Drazin45] Then Im willing to accept whatever decision you make
Dorn's heart skipped a beat. Bittersweet tears dampened his facefur. He was terrified to die, yet longed to be with Drazzy so much he could feel something aching in his chest.
[Dorn Kahan] i choose!
[Dorn Kahan] i choose to be with you
[Dorn Kahan] *holds tightly*
[Drazin45] Holds tighter/
[Drazin45] Then I promise
[Drazin45] I will do everything I can to make the day you spend with me
[Drazin45] The last day of your life will be the best you ever had