FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Jack wrung his hands together. "Not too much now."

The green kobold's tail twitched again in agitation. "I know."

"Push it gently."

Lys adjusted her grip. "I know, shut up. What is this stuff for anyway?"

"It...helps stop the CPU from catching on fire--ok stop!" He waved her off.

Lys pulled her claw away, batting it against the computer case, leaving a small mark on her hand with a trail of thermal compound across the motherboard. "Damn it. I told you not to or I'd mess it up. You treating me like a hatchling needs to stop." She set the applicator aside and looked at her hands, smudged slightly with gray paste. Overall, putting the computer together had gone well, but Jack couldn't help but be nervous about getting the most expensive parts installed properly. He'd already risen to his feet, going for something to clean it up with. "Make sure to wash that stuff off."

The green kobold sprang up and trailed after him into the kitchen. "What did you think I was going to do? Lick it?" She walked up beside him and yanked a paper towel off the roll, wiping her claws before she went to the sink.

"You sure are snippy."

A loud screech accompanied the stool as she yanked it over to her and she climbed up with a huff. She gave the knob a hard turn. "I'm snippy because you seem to think I can't do anything. Do I really look that helpless? If you think I can't do something because of who...or what I am then say so."

"What's bringing this on? When did I ever say something like that?"

She wiped off her claws and leapt down. "You didn't. It's just little things, lots of little things that tell me you don't quite trust me. Like that computer."

Feeling attacked, he wanted to mention her betrayal of his trust with Rodil, but that would only make matters worse and he knew if it were his friend, he'd have done the same. Allison telling him about moving away that morning muddled his thoughts. He lingered in the silence trying to figure out what to say to her. As far as he was concerned, he was being considerate, if a bit careful. It never occurred to him that she felt belittled. He shrugged at her, arms out-stretched. "Okay, what do you want me to do?"

"Just stop treating me like I'm dumb."

"How did I treat you like you were dumb?"

"You did just now with that paste stuff."

"Installing a CPU is tricky."

"I read the instructions. I knew what to do."

"You got paste all over the computer."

"Only because you kept nagging me!" Her tail whipped back, knocking over the stool behind her. The tip of her tongue stuck out and those yellow eyes prodded him. On one hand she looked so cute when she was angry, on the other she looked about ready to bite him. He took a deep breath and sighed, trying to think of something that could smooth things over. Lys gave her hands one last check, making sure they were clean before looking back at him. "Please, have a little faith in me."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Ok, I'll try to control myself better from now on." He shook his head and looked away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

She picked up the stool before going over to him, laying a claw on his leg. "Something is bothering you and I don't mean the computer. I can hear it in your voice and you're doing that breathing thing."

Jack turned back to her with a raised eyebrow. "What 'breathing thing'?"

"You always start breathing hard out of your nose when you have something on your mind, something you want to talk about, but don't. You do that lip thing too." She pointed a claw towards his face. He noticed his lips were pursed, his teeth pinching them together tight, he had more tells than a third-rate boxer.

"Allison is leaving."

Lys cocked her head. "Leaving?"

"She..." he gestured in a half-shrug, "...got a new job someplace out of state, leaving next week. It's not like I'm not happy for her and all."

"She's been your friend for a long, long time." The green kobold gave his leg a squeeze. "I'm sorry, Jack." Her scaly countenance was one of concern, almost sadness. It made him feel better to have someone else grieve for him, especially when the person in question was somebody who didn't exactly get along with her. He almost patted her on the head, but thought better of it, just in case.

"You want to get this thing finished and see if it runs?"

"Yeah."

Screw tightened, memory snapped into place, cables arranged, cards installed, cables rearranged, knuckles bruised, case closed, case reopened, and cables rearranged one last time. Jack nodded at their collective work. "You do the honors," he said, gesturing to the switch on the power supply. The two of them held their breath, she flipped the switch, it made a small click.

"Nothing."

Jack leaned all about the machine, everything looked in order and then he ducked under the table. "It would help if it were plugged in."

"Oh, yeah." Lys dove under and connected the power supply to the strip of cables and cords. The machine lit up with the whining of its many fans, all spinning full tilt for a few seconds before falling nearly silent. The monitor flickered and displayed a manufacturer logo. Lys stared at the screen in awe. "It's beautiful. We did it," she said, almost like they'd just had a child.

Jack sat down at the table and rested his hands on the keyboard. "Hand me that packet over there. I need to install the OS."

"OS?"

"Operating system."

Lys picked up the box and handed it off to him. "What's it do?"

"It operates the system."

"Why don't you just admit that you don't know?"

He took the USB stick out of the package. "It's like a car, you don't have to know how it runs in order to use it, but when it breaks you panic and swear." It fit snug into the port. He'd never installed an OS from a USB stick before. It'd been quite a while since he'd built a computer, there just wasn't much of a need. The phone provided his link to the outside world such as it was and he'd always been more of a console gamer. Lys watched the entire time, her eyes tracking his movement of the mouse and tapping of the keys.

"This looks difficult," she said.

"It's not that bad."

"Am I going to be able to use that thing?" She pointed at the mouse. Jack looked at it and lifted it off the table. He hadn't given any thought to it, a mouse was a mouse, unless your hand was as claw with sharp nails at the end.

"Hmm, give it a try. Better find out right now if I need to get something different." He gestured and the green kobold climbed up onto his lap.

"Oof."

"What?"

"Nothing."

She gave him a dirty look before planting her claw on the mouse, her hand kept twitching as she switched from grip to grip though she amused herself, watching the cursor respond to her movements. She grinned to herself as she made it do circles, zigzags, and loops.

Jack cleared his throat. "Well?"

"I think I like controllers better."

"So do I, but the mouse is kind of a necessity, is it going to work or do I need to look for something bigger or smaller?"

She let her claw rest, cupping the input device while she thought it over. "I think so, for now."

"Alright then, I don't wanna hear any complaints down the line about how you need some stupid 'gamer' mouse."

Lys got a better look at the case and cocked her head. "Why are there so many flashing lights on this thing?"

Jack sighed. "That's just how they make them. People like the pretty lights. The more lights it has the faster it looks." He drummed his fingers on the table while Lys continued to toy with the mouse like a cat. He cleared his throat again, but she didn't even acknowledge his existence, or she was ignoring him deliberately. Finally, he tapped her on the back of the head. "You can get up now."

She started to lean back, stopping short of poking him in the chest with her horns. "Why would I want to do that?"

"It's kind of hard to work around you."

"Why don't you tell me what to do and I do it? Shouldn't I be learning?"

Her tail started to wrap around his leg while she sat there, head tilted slightly in expectation. "Okay, fine. Click that button that says 'install now'." Lys moved the cursor over the box and waited.

"Like this?"

"The other mouse button, the left one."

He heard the faint noise of her claw tapping the mouse and then the screen changed. "Now what?" she asked.

"Now we find out how much trouble a kobold has using a keyboard. You need to type in the product key." He reached for the pack the stick came in and turned it about until he found the string of numbers and letters. Jack held it out for her to look at.

Her eyes went wide. "All of that?"

"All of that. It's not much different than using your phone."

Her eyeridges narrowed, she looked it up and down several times before stretching out her arms and then the hunting and pecking began.

"That's wrong, hit backspace."

"Where is that?"

"There."

Having long since learned the talents of touch-typing Jack felt a special kind of torture watching his mate peck each key in methodical fashion. The sound of her claws tapping the keys accented his growing frustration and every other press was a mistype. "I can feel you getting mad," she said.

"Huh? I'm not mad."

"You make that annoying grunting sound and you're tensing up. Am I doing something wrong?"

He snorted. "No, you're just doing it really, really slow. Also, I think you're cutting off the circulation in my legs."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Your hips are a little thick. Ow!"

She twisted on the spot, digging into him. "They're supposed to be! I don't have weird feet and legs like yours."

"They're thicker than when I first met you."

"I'm not the one who keeps bringing junk food into the house. Anyway, you sure seemed to enjoy feeling them in the shower last night."

That did it. With a malevolent grin his hands snaked their way around her thighs.

The kobold twitched. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Keeping myself amused while you type."

"Ahh! Stop, you're messing me up."

"Then you better type faster." His hands caressed her hips, lightly pinching. Lys huffed, scanning the keyboard and pecking the keys in hurried fashion while she muttered under her breath.

"What do Lys do when she--I have it all t-typed--not so hard you jerk!"

He laughed out loud. "Just hit enter."

She tapped the last few keys and searched around the elusive enter. Meanwhile, Jack ran a finger under the edge of her shorts, making her squirm. Her claw came down, hitting the enter key in triumph, but the grin on her face sank into a confused look. "Wait, what's happening?"

"Invalid key, tsk tsk. Sure you typed it in correctly?" he asked while he toyed with the elastic.

"How can I when you keep doing that?" Her eyes jumped from the monitor to the line of letters and numbers in her hand all while her mate continued touching her, making her flinch. "Gonna get you for this. I'm--aieeee! Not there you ass! Look, I got it, it says installing. Hey, I said it's installing. Stop it!" She tried to push his arms away, laughing all the while. "So, what happens next?"

"It might take a bit. Let's go somewhere."

She quit struggling and shifted around so she could look him in the eye. "Are you serious?"

He nodded.

"Where?"

"Anywhere, well maybe not quite anywhere, but I have some ideas. You wanna go?"

With newfound strength she shoved his arms away like they were made of paper and leapt off him with enough force to leave a bruise. "Ugh. I'll take that as a yes."

***

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"Barely..." Lys watched the world go by in blurred motion. Her eyes followed the paths of side roads until they vanished over the rolling hills. She tried to focus on individual crops in the ripe fields, but the speed only let her catch them for seconds at a time. She entertained herself with the confused and shocked looks of passengers in other cars whenever they stopped at an intersection. "I hate sitting back here."

"I know, but if I crashed and something happened to you, I'd never forgive myself and also you'd probably die." Jack shook his head at the thought.

The green kobold shrugged at him from the rear view. "I can't help being small and I don't really want one of those dumb car seats, those are for hatchlings."

"Would you rather die in a car accident?"

"I'd rather be a bit bigger and I'd rather stop talking about it. Where did you say we were going?" she asked.

Jack smiled to himself. "It's a secret."

He drove past new homes that weren't there the last time he'd traveled this way. Along with more construction for God-knows-what. A lot of the old fields and dusty roads were long gone, replaced by smooth asphalt and nice, safe traffic lights perfectly spaced to make sure he never drove for more than a few minutes before getting stopped again. With all the changes he pondered if his destination even existed anymore or if they'd filled it all in to make room for more progress, but as he rounded the bend a massive lake came within view. However, much like the rest of the area it'd undergone a lot of landscaping and a row of fancy houses with docks out back lined one side of the water. Bright, green lawns and thick trees accented each home. "I hope this isn't all private property now."

Lys lifted herself up to get a better look. "What is all that?"

"A lake, or at least it used to be. Looks more like a private club now."

Private or not, he'd have to be told to leave before it became an issue in his own mind. Besides, he'd stopped off for one of those cheap foam ice chests and filled it up, they were committed. He found a spot on near the far side of the lake to park. Better for the both of them if they didn't have busybodies spoiling what was meant to be a special, if sudden outing. The two of them got out. Lys headed down towards the water while Jack opened the trunk. The ice chest felt heavier than it looked, probably overfilled it. He lugged it down near the water and flipped it open to make sure everything was intact. "I haven't been out here since...Lys?"

Jack turned around to see her arms outstretched and head tilted toward the sun; eyes shut like she was communing with the divine. Her chest rose and fell in a slow, dramatic fashion and it made him wonder if she wasn't indeed engaged in some ritual. He let it go on while he figured out the best place to sit and just watch the world go by. A few boats floated about in the distance, reels in the hands of their occupants, probably owners of some of the fancy houses on the other side of the lake. If they could afford those kinds of homes, they could afford to stock the lake.

"I remember when this was all just...are you okay?"

Lys stayed in her trance a moment more before opening her eyes with one last exhale. "Oh my..." She collected herself like she'd just finished running a marathon. "You can't know how good that feels. So good just to have the sun soak into your scales after so long."

"Well, I don't have scales, but I think I understand."

"Mmm...maybe," she said with a hint of doubt. "It's...it just feels." Her voice carried a sanguine depth he hadn't heard in a while, like every part of her had been revitalized. The green kobold stretched out her arms again and twirled around, giggling to herself.

"That good, eh?" He smiled at her.

"Better than good. You can go outside whenever you want and nobody says anything. This is like a vacation for me." A hint of resentment rode on her cheerful tone. He entertained visions of walking down some generic main street getting stared at while hushed whispers followed behind. Knocks on his door telling him he was violating some code and needed to vacate.

Lys prodded him in the shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

He shook her off and reached for a soda. "Nothing."

"What are you_really_ thinking about?"

The can hissed and he took a sip before looking at her. "Do you really want to know?"

Her tail did an odd half-curl. "If something is bothering you, shouldn't I be the one to hear about it? Maybe I can help." She rubbed at his shoulder a few times, giving him a hopeful look. Jack fiddled with the soda in his hand. She was right. Lys of all people should share in his joys and his sorrows.

"I'm thinking about how much I hate that Allison got a new job and she's moving on in life. I'm thinking about how much I hate that I never finished college and I'm a loser driving a forklift. I'm thinking about how much I hate that someone might lose their shit over nothing that isn't their damn business if we go out together and I'm thinking about how much I hate diet soda." He glared at the can.

"Is that all?" she asked cheerfully, giving his arm another brush.

"Yeah, that's about it." He cracked a smile and laughed. "You've been hanging around me way too much."

"I want to hang around with you for the rest of my life." She laid her head against him and sighed. "That's a lot to take on. I guess I can't really help." The softer scales of her palms cuddled against his arm while her tail curved around behind him.

He wrapped an arm around her. "That's where you're wrong. I don't think I could handle it all without you. Even we reclusive shut-ins need someone to lean on once in a while," he said in partial jest.

The little kobold squeezed him in return. "Just don't lean too hard."

"How are you liking the lake?"

"It's wonderful, can I go for a swim?"

"We better not press our luck; besides I didn't think to bring a change of clothes."

"So? I could just take these off."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure that'd go over well. Suddenly there'd be a hundred people jogging past and a full-sized tour boat sailing along out of nowhere."

She looked out at the rippling water, disappointed. "Next time." Lys nuzzled into him again. "Thank you so much for bringing me out here. You really don't know what it's like."

"No, I guess I don't." He didn't know what it was like to go to bed hungry, or to be homeless. He didn't know what it was like to be persecuted or threatened. He didn't know what it was like to be scattered or driven off and frankly he hoped to never find out. It was enough for him that she knew and that little by little he could make the world see her as his equal. Failing that, at least he'd know it to be true. Lys shifted slightly, lifting her head up to look at him. Her eyes sparkled in the sun, reflecting it into his own eyes. For a moment he thought she was going to caress his cheek and he began puckering his lips for a kiss. She swiped the soda from his hand and took a swig, wiping off her muzzle with the back of her wrist.

"Can we do this more often?"

He smirked. "As much as time, work, and gas money allow."

"Work..."

"Yeah work, speaking of which if you're going to do this streamer stuff it's a lot of work."

"I can do it." Lys eyed the houses off in the distance. "Someday we'll have a home like that, you and me. You can have a boat and I can swim in the lake while the neighbors glare at us." She started grinning. "A nice house in a nice place where I could sit in my own yard and nobody could tell me to leave. And then I'd watch them get angry because it was mine." Her toothy smile turned evil at the thought and Jack couldn't help but join her. The idea of puttering around in the backyard while gray-haired, overweight retirees stood stone-faced trying to wish them away felt like a worthwhile goal.

"How?" he asked.

"How what?"

"How will we afford a house like that?"

"When I get famous, we'll have money enough for anything. You won't have to work anymore and I'll take care of you for a change."

The grin on his face slipped away. "You already take care of me, you know that."

"I want to take care of you more. I can't go to the store, or even get the mail. What's wrong?"

He hugged her again. "I just don't want you to think you have to do something for me. If you want to do this streamer stuff, do it because you want to." His voice cracked ever so slightly. She kissed him, her thin, scaly lips felt cool against his cheek and he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "Want to walk?"

"Yeah." The two of them stood up. Jack decided to put the ice chest back in the car, not that he suspected anyone around here would make off with some cold diet soda and sandwiches, but he didn't want to present the opportunity. Hand in hand, the two of them went alongside the lake. The air carried the scent of summer, of distant charcoal grills and pollen. The tall grass rippled in the passing breeze while the tiniest of waves dotted the surface of the lake. The green kobold pointed a claw at one of the boats. "They're getting kind of close"

Jack eyed them and shook his head. "They're too busy fishing to pay any attention to us. If anyone starts heading this way we can just walk off, what are they going to do? Push their boat onto the shore so they can yell at us?"

"Sounds like a human thing to do."

"Maybe some humans."

"They sure did when I was young."

At the risk of tainting the day his curiosity got the better of him. "What happened?"

She shrugged and tugged at a piece of grass. "It's kind of hard to remember. Some of us were living in shacks, some of them we'd made, some of them were just there. An old farm, I think." The kobold paused and grimaced. "It's hard to think about because my memories are pretty."

"Pretty?"

"Pretty, nice, and not quite right. When you're young you make up things to make it better. I used to believe my parents worked some kind of job. I don't even know, but I know I made it up. They were scavengers like most of us and..." She stopped, staring off into the distance.

"What's wrong?"

Slowly, her eyes turned downward followed by her head. Her expressionless muzzle sat still and her breathing slowed. "Yeah." She nodded to herself and laughed bitterly.

"Lys?"

"There was no way we were living off luck and scavenging. I've lived that way; I know how it is. So stupid." She shook her head. "Stupid."

Jack put a hand on her shoulder, trying to figure out her sudden change in behavior and he found himself regretting he'd ever asked. "Let's just drop it."

She tapped his hand with her claw. "No. I just figured it out, thinking about it with fresh eyes. We were living there off the good graces of humans. I remember some of the people in our group talking to them once, but I never figured out why and I didn't care at the time." Her shoulders heaved in a shrug. "Someone was looking out for us. If they'd wanted us gone, they could have done it at any point, but we were there for years. So why did they wait?" she asked, frustrated.

He placed his other hand over her claw, still on her shoulder. "There could be any number of reasons for a change like that. Someone else might have brought the property, someone might have died and it changed hands."

"But Lys wants to know! What did we do that was so bad? They showed up one day and said we had to go, but then they came back in the night and started tearing things down. We ran and that was the last I saw of..."

He sighed. "Sweet...sometimes you never find out. You can't spend your life guessing about that kind of crap, it'll drive you nuts. I know."

The emerald kobold clinched her hand around his. "I just wish I knew where they were, I don't even know if they're still alive." The kobold swatted herself on the back of the leg with her own tail much to his shock. "Sorry, I'm ruining this. I just..."

He knelt down and pressed her into his chest and she let herself go. The wind picked up a bit, pushing the grass around them as if to offer its own condolences. His mind went over solutions as he stroked her head, but there was so little, yet he had one idea, a long shot. "Have you tried searching online?"

Lys wiped her eyes. "For what? I wouldn't even know where to start."

"I'd start with their names."

"How would that even help?"

He stroked her cheek. "Well, if they're anything like most kobolds they have kobold sounding names, don't they?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She glared at him.

"It means you have a better shot of finding them if they're in any kind of public record."

She tilted her head. "I never thought of that. Do you really think it would work?"

"It might, but keep realistic expectations, ok?"

Lys took a deep breath and nodded. "I understand. Now come on, I want to keep walking." She tugged at him a few times. One side of the lake was rougher than the other, less landscaped. It suited him, but he had no idea how long it would stay that way. Little by the little the places of his youth were moving on like everything else in life. He still marveled at how Lys was helping him move along with it. By the time they finished trekking up and down the lake the lunch he'd packed for them had become dinner. Jack nibbled at his bland ham sandwich while his mate did as she always did, folding up the thing and taking a huge bite. "We can come back here, right?"

"As much as you want."

"There's one more thing that I want."

"Name it."

"Something I saw online, something I want to try tonight." The toothy grin she flashed made him very nervous.

"What?"

"It's a secret."