Sense of Self

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There is a stranger in your apartment. He seems to know a lot about you, and hold some kind of power over your mind.

...Why is that so hot?

My half of a trade with lmann ! His half can be read here.


You carefully unlocked your front door, stepped inside, and shut it behind you. He turned the deadbolt, and sighed.

Why were you so... anxious? You were just walking home. Sure, it was dark, but this was something else. It was a pit in your stomach, from some strange sense of anticipation. Anticipation of what?

You shook yourself out a little and flicked on the light.

There was someone standing in your apartment. A short little red panda, staring at you with a toothy grin.

You were frozen in place. You didn't know this person. You anxiety skyrocketed as they chuckled at your paralysis.

"Welcome home, Sheepy!" They greeted you in a singsong voice. "I've been waiting."

"F-For me?" You bleated.

"For you." He replied, casually stepping forward and fishing a little chain from his pocket.

Your eyes instantly caught the shimmering, golden pendant at the end, and you felt your heart flutter. It was difficult to look away from it, even as he kept it as his side, just dangling and bouncing lightly against his thigh.

"Relax, my sleepy sheepy." He said. "You're so tense. You know you're going to enjoy this, don't you?"

You did. You did know that.

How did you know that?

"C'mon, sheepy. Take a nice deep breath for me." He insisted, and you found yourself complying before you even realized.

Abruptly, you stepped backward, and watched him fearfully. He had some kind of control over you - you could feel his influence tugging at your instincts, and only growing stronger the longer you let it.

"Ooh." He said, his smile only widening. "Look at you. What's gotten into you, sheepy?"

"You- You can't control me." You said. The words came from nowhere. They felt... silly. The second they left your lips, you were embarrassed for saying them.

"I can't?" He replied. "As in, you don't want me to?"

He lifted the pendant, and your eyes locked onto it instantly. Your breath hitched as it began to swing, dizzyingly quickly. Your head spun and you felt your whole body suddenly become very heavy, before you tore your eyes free and took another few steps back.

"Aha! You do want me to. Sleepy sheepy's just playing a little game." He said, advancing on you. "Sleepy sheepy doesn't wanna give in until he sees those colors."

You felt your cheeks heat up, before you quickly shook your head "no."

This was so disorienting. You felt like you were an actor playing a role, but with no knowledge of what came next, nor any control over saying your lines.

More like a puppet, you thought, intrusively, before quickly pushing that thought out of your head.

"You're so cute like this." The red panda said. "Trying so hard not to just admit it. But why, sleepy sheepy?"

Why were you doing this? Why were you fighting?

...Because he was a stranger. You didn't want a stranger to have control of your mind. You didn't want a stranger to be in control of your every action, to brush aside your free will with a laugh and tease you about the expression you made as he did it.

The red panda smiled a little wider at you. For a brief moment, you wondered if he could somehow read your mind.

"Alright, sheepy. Time to give you what you want, so I can have what I want." He said, before lifting a hand beside his head.

You stared at it, butterflies in your stomach, waiting in rapt anticipation. You knew that it was coming. What you hoped was coming.

He didn't keep you waiting. The snap of his fingers was as sharp as it was deafening. It rattled around the inside of your head, and your eyes unfocused.

"There you go, sheepy." He purred, stepping a little closer. He ran a finger affectionately down your face, and helped tip your heavy head back as it began to droop on your shoulders. "But you want a bit more than that, don't you?"

You hesitated. Your eyes were just barely able to focus on his smiling face. He stroked under your chin, and clicked his tongue reassuringly at you.

"Are you gonna make me use my eyes?" He asked.

You nodded. Your head was so heavy, it was difficult to lift it up. Your nod quickly turned more into a nod off, but the grinning red panda was quick to hook a finger under your chin and lift it back up so you could stare comfortably into his eyes.

"You are?" He asked. "You look pretty cooperative, sheepy. Are you really going to give me so much more trouble that I need the eyes?"

You had your doubts. You were already so ready to just give in, but the thought of not getting to see his beautiful eyes - whatever that meant - was enough to stir you into some semblance of awakeness.

You managed to take a step back, and were rewarded with a mocking cheer and applause.

"There's that strong, resilient sheep." He said, stepping forward and wrapping an arm around your back. "I guess I have no choice."

You didn't have much time to consider your victory. In an instant, his eyes had lit up into swirls of purple and gold, and your knees buckled from beneath you.

He caught you under your shoulders and eased you down to your knees with a little "aw~". He made sure to keep your eyes fixed on his as you went down, until you were completely slumped at his feet, staring reverently up at the swirls of purple and gold that you had been craving so badly.

"You really put up a fight this time. Do you know why?" He asked, petting your head with one hand as you rested your chin on his thigh and drooled.

"Because... feels better..." You mumbled.

"Hehe~ Is that so? What feels better?" He pressed. His smile was so wide, so smug, so domineering, it made you feel even smaller than you already felt. You shivered a little at the intensity of your submissive feelings.

"Getting... losing." You said.

"Losing. You enjoy losing, don't you? And it only feels better to lose fair and square, yeah?"

"Yeah..."

He hooked his finger into your mouth, which you compliantly opened for him. He dropped his pants with his other hand, and tugged your horn to pull your muzzle into his warm, soft crotch.

You moaned softly and took a long, deep breath in through your nose. The smell was as intoxicating as it was familiar. Without having to be told, you began to suckle gently on the flesh of his sac, drawing a sharp sigh from him. He pushed his fingers into the soft wool on your head, and you melted a little.

You were happy to soak his nuts in your spit, even as his dick began to hang heavily over your muzzle. You crossed your eyes to stare at it, and he chuckled at you.

He gripped one of your horns and tugged you away from his sac, and dangled his pendant just before your eyes. It was surprisingly easy to pull your eyes off his dick, if it meant looking at at the shining, spinning, swaying gold that made you relax even more in his grip. The hand on your horn felt like it was the only thing keeping you vertical.

He pushed his hips forward, teasing the tip of his dick over your relaxed lips. You whimpered, but couldn't move an inch. Not while that shiny pendulum had all of your attention, and made you feel so soft and powerless.

"Tell me more about losing, sheepy. Tell me how much you love it." He ordered.

"I... hahh..." You huffed, struggling to string a few words together. Every swing of the pendant seemed to shake what you'd managed to gather right out of your ears.

"I... hnn... I really... love being... powerless." You mumbled. "Puts... feeling... pit.. in... my stomach. Good pit."

"Good sheepy. Sleepy sheepy." He said, bobbing his dick up and down with the thrust of his hips, the hot tip leaving a little streak of pre over your lips and making you whine. "Is that why you always lose in the end?"

"Mhmm." You said.

"And you always fight because you just want to lose even harder." He said.

"Mhhmm."

It was true, if not mostly true. Part of you was genuinely embarrassed at surrdendering yourself like this, but in a way, that only made it hotter. The rest of you just wanted to be completely put in your place. You didn't want to stand a chance, and thankfully, you didn't.

The grip on your horn tightened, and you were pulled forward, steadily, as the red panda pushed his dick into your wet, waiting mouth. Your eyes rolled up, and you sucked him eagerly.

As eagerly as you could, with as little coordination as you had. Your tongue was heavy and sluggish, your worshipful licks clumsy and uncoordinated. Leem didn't seem to mind.

Leem. Was that his name?

...Hmm. Didn't matter. Had other things on your mind right now.

Like his dick. It was just so hot. It fit so snugly in your mouth, and it tasted just wonderful. Even as scatterbrained as you were, you could put yourself together enough to suckle him and lick dumbly at his length. The steady dribble of his precum onto your tongue quickly became a strong point of focus for you.

Time had no meaning to you in this state. The pendulum in front of your eyes was the only thing you were really keeping track of, with every other sensation melting into a timeless sea of warmth you were floating in.

You were in a perfect state of happiness. There was absolutely no worry within you, not a single hint of negative thought. Every action was fully automatic, from following the pendulum with your eyes, to your calm, deep breathing, to your gentle suckling on the dick that was steadily humping into your mouth.

Your whole body was fuzzy. It was a warm, tingly feeling that you could feel best on your skin, but knew ran much deeper. The hand holding your horn was steady and firm, and you didn't mind at all that it made your head tilt slightly to one side, even though it made following the pendulum a little harder.

You couldn't mind. There was nothing inside you but the utter mind-blanking bliss of total surrender. You had no control. You'd given it all away.

A tasty, warm something filled your mouth. Your eyes never left the pendulum as you swallowed it down, every spurt. It stuck to the inside of your mouth a lot, which made you try to swallow constantly. Leem seemed pleased about that, judging by the sounds he was making.

A combination of a tug on your horn and his hips pulling away slid his dick back across your tongue and out of your lips with a quiet pop. You smiled dumbly as drool and cum ran down your chin, as the red panda panted and rested his pendulum hand on your muzzle. He petted you a little, while he caught his breath, and you closed your eyes at the wonderful sensation.

"Good sheepy." He finally said. "Very good sheepy. Very sleepy sheepy."

"Mhhmmm." You hummed in agreement. You sure felt like a good sheepy.

It was nice and quiet. Just your relaxed breathing, and the slightly ragged breathing of the soft, warm red panda standing just over you. You were perfectly content to just kneel there, slumped slightly, and listen to the sounds he made just by being near you.

"How's sleepy sheepy?" Leem asked.

"Sleepy..." You mumbled.

When he didn't respond, you kept talking.

"Good. Really... soft." You added. He ran a few fingers through the wool on your head, and you let out a dreamy sigh.

"Ready for me to leave, sheepy?" He asked.

You weren't. You didn't want him to leave yet, at all. You wanted to kneel in front of him forever. You shook your head.

"Aw, that's okay, sheepy. You know it won't be for long. I'll see you again soon, like always." He reassured you. That put you at ease. You loved this so much, you could do it every day. Maybe you already did.

"Make me forget?" You mumbled, abruptly.

"Aww! Would sleepy sheepy like that?" He replied. You could hear that he was smiling, and that made you really happy.

"Mhmm." You replied. He ran a few more fingers through your wool, and you made a whimpery-bleat sound that got a giggle out of him. That, too, made you really happy.

"Alright. I think you know the drill by now. Judging by that cute little expression you're wearing, I won't even have to count you down. You're going to open your eyes..."

You obeyed, your eyes fluttering open halfway. You were looking down at the floor now, head bowed in a submissive gesture that felt completely appropriate.

"...and by the time they close, this will aaall be forgotten." He said. "You'll still keep these feelings, but you won't remember anything that happened. At least, not yet."

You nodded, sluggishly, as your eyes began to close again.

"Till next time, sheepy."

He snapped his fingers, and your eyes dropped closed, leaving you in a warm, blissful darkness. He gave the wool on your head an affectionate ruffle, and you listened to his quiet footsteps as he padded out your door.