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THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE

CARTOON SERIES

DOUBLE-LENGTH EPISODE #2

THE PIRATE ADVENTURE

Part 2

© GULLANE (THOMAS) LIMITED 2021

© 2021 JOEY MORLEY LIMITED

Pre-Intro:

Voice-over: Previously on Thomas The Tank Engine & Friends™...

*Shows shots from Part 1 of The Pirate Adventure.*

Thomas: It's not over yet, folks. We only have four coins from the last adventure. This is going to be a VERY tough ride...

*End of Pre-Intro*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 1:

*Episode opens with drawings of the first part of The Pirate Adventure.*

Narrator: If you remember last time, Thomas and The Steam Team were sent to Dartmouth to help out. But during the voyage, their railferry got destroyed in a storm.

The engines thought they were lost forever until they awoke to find themselves rescued by a gang of pirates known as "The Dread Pirates". After many days at sea, attempting to find

magic coins and suffering dangers of the world, such as hippogriffs, animal magic and pie shops, the engines and the pirates were on their next adventure to find the

fifth coin. But back on the Island of Sodor, things weren't going quite so well for me...

*Episode opens on the Island of Sodor, Joey is gloomily working with Diesel, who's pulling a local passenger train on Thomas' branch line.*

Narrator: ...because there was still no sign of Thomas' whereabouts, I had to work with Diesel. But I still felt depressed over the disappearence of my friends.

Diesel: Are you still bummed out about the whereabouts of the steamies, Joey?

Joey: *sighs* Yes, Diesel.

Diesel: I can relate... without the steamies around, I haven't got anyone to torment on a daily basis.

Joey: You and me both, Diesel. You and me both.

*Diesel pulls into Ffarquhar station. Mavis is already there, dropping off some workman in Henrietta.*

Mavis: Afternoon, you two. *notices Diesel and Joey feeling down* Oh dear, you look down in the mouths. What's wrong?

Diesel: Apparently, Joey's still miserable after the steamies' disappearences. And not gonna lie, I'm starting to feel that way too. What's the point of working on this railway if there's no

steam engines to make fun of?

Mavis: You can always go back to work on the Other Railway.

Diesel: Nah, I don't think they do much with me since they rebranded themselves. I'm pretty much better off here nowadays.

Mavis: Oh, I wouldn't get too upset if I were you, guys. The Steam Team did bring their phones with them, I'm sure they probably might have not got Wi-Fi.

Joey: It depends, Mavis. Thomas is the only engine who actually HAS a SIM card on his phone, but it's not strong enough to work in a place that doesn't have good Wi-Fi.

Mavis: Oh, fair enough.

Joey: Anyway, Mavis. We have to go, our next journey leaves shortly.

Mavis: Oh, goodness! You're right. I'll catch you two later.

*Mavis honks her horn and departs from Ffarquhar and up to the quarry.*

Joey and Diesel: Bye, Mavis.

*The guard blows his whistle, Diesel honks his horn and eventually departs with his train bound for Ulfstead. Meanwhile, the ship is currently out at sea, voyaging for its next destination.

Kate has cooked some pies for the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates. Thomas, Mila, Leeko and Oliver are busying eating some.*

Narrator: Meanwhile, out at sea, the engines were enjoying their life on the ocean waves. Kate, who was a refuge from the pie shop at Ilfracombe, was settling into her new life on The Pirate's Fate.

Kate: Well, what do you think? I've just got to see your reaction! I'm certain you'll find it sumptuous.

Mila: Wow, this is... this is... um...

Thomas: So delicious you're at a loss for words, huh? I thought so too.

Kate: Fantastic, I'll go serve the rest of the crew.

Thomas: Wait, you don't have to do...

*But before Thomas could reply, Kate walks off.*

Thomas: ...that.

Leeko: *chuckles* Isn't she fantastic?

Mila: Well, her cooking certainly isn't...

Oliver: You're kidding! I've never tasted anything more wonderful in my life. I mean, it's funny how life goes, isn't it? You know, just the other day, I was complaining about being on this ship.

Like it was some kind of joyless slog, you know?

Leeko: Then someone like Kate comes along. Great chef, she is... and pretty too.

Oliver: Hey listen, Leeko. You sound like a schoolboy with a crush.

Mila: Well, either way, we're glad to see you in such high spirits, Leeko and Oliver.

Leeko: I can't remember the last time they felt higher. I've got to go help stir the pot...

Oliver: And I've got to help heat up the oven, catch you guys later.

*Just as Leeko and Oliver go back down to the kitchen. Kate returns to see Thomas and Mila.*

Kate: You guys want more?

Thomas: More what?

Kate: More pies?

Thomas: Oh, no thanks. I'm full.

Mila: Ummm... same here.

Kate: Well, just let me know if you do... so you call yourselves the Dread Pirates and the Steam Team, right?

Mila: Well, only the engines are members of the Steam Team, but yes, us pirates are known as the Dread Pirates.

Thomas: Well, as Darious would put it. They're not real pirates, they're treasure hunters.

Kate: Not real pirates? How fascinatin'... So... no battles or anythin' like that?

Thomas: Not that we've come across... yet.

Mila: We've fought our share of those.

Kate: And last night, you stole the coin from Trento, right?

Thomas: ...right.

Kate: You collect booty, you fight, you steal. Sounds like a pirate's life to me.

Thomas: Well, maybe for the Dread Pirates but NOT for the Steam Team.

Mila: That's not the whole story! You see...

Thomas: We're not a crew of thugs. We're both families, we care for each other and more than ANY trophy or prize. Each hardship only brings us closer together,

Mila: That's right, and THAT'S what makes us different from ordinary pirates.

Thomas: It's a fact... you'll understand.

Kate: Hey, I'm not judgin'. I'm just tryin' to figure out what you're really all about. After my last job, can you blame me?

Mila: Oh, of course not. I'm sure the more time you spend here, the clearer the picture will become.

Thomas: Unless you move the antenna on a T.V.

Mila: Yes... that too.

Kate: I knew I wanted to stay on board when I met Leeko. He's so chipper and cute! Wait... you didn't already have your eyes on him, did ya?

Thomas: What, no! I wouldn't lay my eyes on Leeko. I'm a straight guy.

Mila: And he's not exactly my type.

Kate: Well, that's a relief. I hate it when competition gets ugly. I mean, when we scratch each other's eyes out, nobody wins, right?

Thomas: Well, considering you two are both cats, I'd say yes, nobody wins.

Kate: Well then, I think I'll go and pay Leeko a l'il visit right now.

Mila: Okay, you do that, then.

*As soon as Kate walks away. Morgana walks up with Tam-Tam, Gordon and James.*

Morgana: That garbage was the worst excuse for food I've EVER had.

Gordon: Look, Morgana. We're all rookies here, but we did say those pies were fattening.

Morgana: Don't tell me how to live my life, No. 4.

Tam-Tam: I guess that's why you had three helpings...

Morgana: Lay off me, I'm starving.

James: Yeah, Tam-Tam. Lay off the fatso...

*Morgana lays a knife on James' smokebox saddle.*

Morgana: AND DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT AGAIN, NO 5! OR I'M RIPPING YOUR NUTS OFF.

James: *stammering* Y-y-y-y-y-yes... ma'am.

Gordon: On THAT topic... So, are you finally going to tell me how you lost the battle of the bulge. *laughs uneasily.*

Morgana: Yeah, how'd you think? Stupid coins, stupid pies, that's how.

Tam-Tam: Didn't Kate warn you not to eat those pies? I think there was something else that was stupid...

Gordon: Like me ramming into the building of the shop?

Tam-Tam: No, big guy. That was actually pretty cool, it's something else.

Morgana: Watch your mouth, you two. I'm still your commanding officer. Even at this size, I'm still twice the pirate you are.

James: She's right, you know. If she sits on your face and farts on you until you suffocate under her enormous ass, that's NOT how you wanna die.

Tam-Tam: Oh, I'm not doubting that.

*Just then, Darious calls from above.*

Darious: Enough, you lot. Even if her body looks different, Morgana is still the same person. Had you been the first mate, Tam-Tam, it would've been you who had

accompanied me into the pie shop and you who'd be in this position.

Tam-Tam: Oh, I think I'd be a little more careful handling...

James: Yes, but even if you were an engine. You'd still get abused for your weight problems. Believe me, it happened with us bigger engines 24/7.

*Just then, a thunderstorm sound is heard.*

Gordon: That wasn't me... was it?

Darious: Feel that? Squall's coming, Time to rig the storm sails. Mila, Thomas, take port. Tam-Tam, James, starboard. I'll try and navigate us through this.

Thomas: But who's gonna be steering the whole ship?

Voice: Up here, y'all.

*The seven turn to find that Percy has called shotgun.*

Percy: Chloe's swabbing the deck so I volunteered to fill her position.

*The others turn to Darious.*

Darious: Well, on the contrary, it's better than none.

Morgana: What's me and No. 4 gonna do?

Gordon: If it involves eating pies again, I'm out. I came here for booze and booze only.

Darious: Well, you can... uh...

Gordon: Can what?

Morgana: I didn't lose a leg, I gained a few pounds. I can still rig a sail, dammit.

Thomas: I knew a guy who lost a wheel once.

Darious: Of course, Morgana, Gordon...

Gordon: Yeeeees?

Tam-Tam: Having a little trouble climbing, guys? *snickers*

Gordon: Yes, very funny indeed, Tam-Tam.

Morgana: We'll get up there eventually, right No. 4?

Gordon: Er... yeah... I think so.

Darious: We don't need eventually, we need right now! We haven't got time, or that storm is going to destroy our sails. Mila, Thomas! Get up there, now!

Thomas: What's the magic word?

Darious: *sighs* Get up there and rig the sails... please.

Thomas: Thank you. Come on, Mila.

Mila: Right on it, Thomas.

*Thomas and Mila rig one of the sails.*

Thomas: There we go, wasn't so hard.

Percy: I wouldn't say that...

Mila: What'd you mean?

*Percy points towards the horizon, for the ship is heading towards a BIG whirlpool.*

Thomas: Oh... crud...

Percy: Don't worry, I know how to ride a boat. Have you ever rode in a speedboat?

Mila: No...

Percy: Well, what you're about to witness is going to be a VERY bumpy ride. For earlier at Ilfracombe, Bertha managed to fix up the ship and gave us these cool accelerators for a speedy trip. When us engines are driving the ship, we will use our steam

and power the ship whilst running, our wheels will being moving on these rollers which will the power the ship, like a treadmill.

Thomas: Percy, I don't understand how that is going to...

*But before Thomas can reply, Percy revs up the accelerators and the ship suddenly starts at full speed.*

Thomas: WOOOOOOOORK!!!!

*The Dread Pirates and the Steam Team are taken by surprise at this sudden force, they rock and roll violent on the ship.*

Percy: Yo-ho-ho and bucket of... er... bum! We're gonna ride this whirlpool in fine style. YEEEHAAA!

*The ship enters the whirlpool and spins around in it. Meanwhile, the engines are being bounced about like peas in a frying pan. Edward slips on the deck, Holly spins around really fast and Molly goes sliding past. Meanwhile, Gordon and Morgana do their best to hold

onto the ship's shrounds.*

Morgana: WHO INVITED THAT CREEP TO STEER THE SHIP?!

Gordon: DON'T LOOK AT ME, DARIOUS WAS THE ONE WHO HIRED HIM!

*Mila and Thomas hold on for dear lives.*

Thomas: I regret everything I do here, I really do!

Mila: Oh... I don't feel so good! *goes green in the face and nearly vomits.*

*The ship eventually flies out of the whirlpool and rocks and bounces as it hits the waves.*

Percy: This is better than double overtime on the North Western Railway!!!

Darious: PERCY! CUT THAT OUT! WE'LL GET SHIPWRECKED!

Percy: TRUST ME, DARIOUS! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!

*Suddenly, a sharp wave hits the boat and Percy is sent, flying off. Thankfully, he has a rope attached to his foot that Thomas and Mila grab on to.*

Thomas and Mila: PERCY!

*As the ship shoots through the waves, Percy rockets underwater with the rope attached to him. Percy gurgles and screams at the same time. Just then, he passes SpongeBob and Patrick.*

Percy: *gurgles* Oh hi, you guys!

*Percy continues to rocket pass whilst gurgling and screaming. He eventually flies out of the water with the rope attached to him, like a big catch. He falls back on the deck and accidently lands on Tam-Tam and James.*

Percy: Sorry! *races back to the ship's wheel and regains control.* Now then, to get us outta here and fast!

*Percy steers the ship through the rough waves in hopes of getting the Dread Pirates and the Steam Team out of high seas. Leeko and Kate walk outside to see what the fuss is going on.*

Leeko: Hmmmm... I guess they didn't show the engines how to control in ship in wet weather.

Kate: Tell me about it.

*The ship continues to rock and roll between the waves before making it's way out of the storm and into sunnier, safer seas.*

Mila: Phew! The storm's cleared up...

Morgana: Yeah... But we all had a near-death experience.

Thomas: That was scary indeed. Percy, you should be careful driving a ship like that in the future.

Percy: Sorry, Thomas.

Darious: Well then, That's the storm taken care of. Back to work.

Thomas: Um... Morgana, I'm... sorry about what happened.

Morgana: Hey, I don't want your pity, No. 1.

Thomas: No, I didn't mean to offend...

Morgana: I'm not offended, No. 1. But I've had some time to think about this. I would've taken a cannonball for Darious, worn a hook hand or a peg leg with pride. But that's no different, right?

Mila: That's the second time you compared your condition to being disfigured. Gaining weight can't be nearly bad as losing a hand.

Thomas: But we DID nearly lose a few engine parts when we were in that storm, thanks to Percy.

Mila: Yeah, right.

Morgana: Hey, I gained a lot more of it than you two did.

Mila: Yeah... but I think you wear your new pounds splendidly, Morgana.

Morgana: Don't mock me, you... Wait, you're serious, aren't you. You're weird ones, you know that. I... um... Thanks... I guess?

Thomas: Oh... don't mention it. Weird is my middle name.

James: Really? I thought your middle name was "The", as in, Thomas THE Tank Engine.

Morgana: I wasn't really worried about if people thought I was attractive. I only care about what my body can do. Sneaking up on someone and stabbing them in the back is going to be a HELL

of a lot more difficult at this size.

Thomas: Do you really need to do that often?

Morgana: Obviously not every day. But... it's a good skill to have, you never know when.

Thomas: Impressive...

*End of Scene 1*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 2:

*Scene shows a map of the ship, sailing through the channel, right near South West England.*

Narrator: The long voyage for the next coin continued, but the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates bravely fought their way through the rough seas and high winds to their destination. Until one night...

*Scene changes to the ship sailing through some fog. Gordon, James and Henry are sitting on the deck, fishing.*

James: You know, guys. Maybe the life on the ocean waves isn't as bad as I thought it would be...

Gordon: Yeah... We even said engines don't go fishing... but fishing for someone else... *smirks* It's a completely different story.

Henry: Couldn't agree more myself.

*Suddenly an explosion is heard, a cannonball is heading directly for the ship. Gordon, James and Henry see it and jump out of the way in time. The cannonball hits the ship and violently rocks it.*

James: Oh my God! CAPTAIN! Direct hit! They came right out of the fog!

*Thomas, Mila, Morgana and Darious arrive on the scene.*

Darious: Who?

Gordon: I don't know, we didn't see!

Thomas: Wait a minute... what's that in the distance?

*Thomas gets out his telescope and gasps. There is another pirate ship and there... who should be standing there but...*

Thomas: ROURKIE!!!

Rourkie: *laughs* How does it feel to sink on my ship, Darious! How do you like that? Half your port bow is gone.

Brock: Should we try to board them, boss?

Rourkie: Ah, of course not... The engines are likely to taunt me again. Keep firing, don't stop 'til that hunk of junk is at the bottom of the ocean.

Mary: Wait... but what about the engines?

Rourkie: They'll be alright, They'll die a couple of seconds. The same way the S.S. Thistlegorm killed some...

*The Dread Pirates and the Steam Team watch in agony.*

Mila: Isn't there some way to stop this cycle of senseless violence?

Percy: Mila, the world is not that simple.

Morgana: There's only one way to stop someone like Rourkie. Return fire, ASAP!

Thomas: I'm on it!

*Thomas steams to another part of the deck and shunts a cannon.*

Darious: No, Thomas. We're outgunned. We've got to lose them in the fog.

Thomas: What? Are you crazy?

Darious: I'll take the helm. Morgana, Rebecca, start bailing out the water.

Morgana and Rebecca: Ay-ay, cap'n!

*Morgana and Rebecca rush to the hull of the ship and start draining the water as quickly as possible. The ship eventually starts moving.*

Darious: Great! We're moving! Tam-Tam, Abigail, get Kate and Leeko up here to help!

*Tam-Tam and Abigail rush to the stern gallery to find Leeko and Kate.*

Tam-Tam: Leeko!

Abigail: Kate!

*Tam-Tam and Abigail rush inside the stern gallery to find Leeko and Kate.*

Abigail: Leeko? Kate?

Tam-Tam: Where are they?

*Suddenly, they step on something soft... they both look down and gasp in agony, trauma and devastation. Scene cuts to outside where the others hear Abigail's whistle.*

Thomas: That sounds like Abigail.

Percy: She must be in trouble.

Darious: I don't know... but something must be wrong.

*Just then, Tam-Tam and Abigail walk out of the stern gallery, both in tears.*

Thomas: Abigail? Tam-Tam? What's wrong?

Abigail: *sniffs* Oh, Thomas... It was terrible. We were hit below deck... there was an explosion, and all this blood... and... and...

Tam-Tam: All that was left was this hat... *holds up a very familiar looking hat.* They're... they're both... both...

Thomas: Oh dear GOD....

Percy: Leeko... Kate...

Morgana: They're both... DEAD? Let's return fire! We've got to make them pay.

Percy: Not... this... time...

Thomas: No, Percy! If you do that, you'll give away our position, This brittle ship is barely staying afloat as it is. One more shot and we're done for.

Henry: Why live to fight another day, when we can follow Morgana and let foolish pride lead us into a watery grave?

Mila: Guys... if we want to avenge Leeko, we've got to fight them when they're most likely to win, but this is clearly not a fight.

Darious: I agree, this battle is over.

Percy: Botheration, I didn't even get to test out my tactical rocket launcher.

Thomas: Maybe another time, Percy. Maybe another time.

*Later, Thomas and Mila are mourning the loss of Kate and Leeko.*

Mila: I just can't believe it... Leeko and Kate are really gone...

Thomas: The first time you lose a friend, it's always the hardest, Mila. This is not an easy life we engines lead, and fate is often a cruel mistress. There's nothing I can say

that will ameliorate you and your friends' pain. But know this, Life must go on, always.

Darious: How's the leak?

Thomas: The ship is taking on more water than we can bail out.

Mila: The nearest port is only three days away...

Thomas: Three days? But we'll be dead by that time.

Mila: Indeed, we won't last another day, let alone three.

Percy: YO! LAND-HO! I can see somthing off the starboard bow. It looks like... a floating city? I think we've found the lost city of Atlantis!

Thomas: So Atlantis isn't a myth after all...? Extrordinary! Bring us about!

Edward: Wait.. didn't you say... Atlantis? Maybe we should... I don't know... stay away from there.

Thomas: Edward... there could be another coin! What makes you say that and why?

Edward: Well, legend has it they aren't known for being friendly to pirates.

Darious: What about engines?

Edward: I don't know... my designers always told me to stay away from cities in unknown areas.

*Just then, Morgana walks up beside Edward.*

Morgana: Well, right after that... your designers told me they were just kidding.

Edward: They did? But you weren't around during the days of the Furness Railway, how would you know?

Tam-Tam: Oh, Morgana. I love this new side of you. Cowardice really brings out the colour in your cheeks.

Morgana: Call me a coward again or I'll...

Thomas: ENOUGH! We don't have the luxury of choosing a more favorable location. If we don't dock now, we're ALL going to drown!

Morgana: Yeah... but No. 1, I have to tell you that...

Thomas: Morgana, your objection is noted. Leeko, chart a course for... Oh, yeah, he's dead. *turns to Toby.* Toby! I need you to chart a course for the floating city.

Toby: Ay-ay, Thomas!

Morgana: In that case... I'll be just heading below deck.

Darious: Morgana, what's going on?

Mila: I see a group of guards coming... Oh God... we're going to be boarded.

Thomas: Son-of-a-b***h! We've only just arrived. HOW do they not know there's engines on board?!

*Just then, a guard walks onto the ship.*

Guard: Yes, this is the ship. Which one of yous is the pirate known as Rourkie?

Gordon: Ah yes, there's been a misunderstanding... You see, Rourkie stole our ship and whilst he was distracted, we were forced to take his...

Guard: Yeah, sure, sure. If none of you want to tell us the truth, we'll just search the whole ship to locate Rourkie, you can do this easy way or the hard way.

Percy: What about the medium way? Or the semi-medium-easy-hard way? Or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way?

*The guard just stares in confusion.*

Percy: So that's how you wanna play it, huh?

Guard: Ummmm... Anyway, which one do you want?

Thomas: Look! Rourkie just tried to kill us and we barely escaped with our lives. I survived with only a bullet wound in my right arm. WE'RE NOT HIS CREW! Besides, WE'RE NOT EVEN PIRATES! WE'RE...

Guard: OKAY, okay! I get it! I get it! You're still coming with us.

Darious: Officer, I assure you were are NOT Rourkie's crew and we do NOT know his whereabouts. However, our ship is currently taking in water and...

Tam-Tam: Officer, if you're interested in a search, I'd be more than happy to give you a hand... If you catch my drift...

Guard: Yeah... I'm done with this nonsense, search the boat.

*Just then, a few guards come out with Morgana in their hands.*

Morgana: GET YOUR FINS OFF OF ME!

*Another guard comes out with a cardboard box.*

James: THAT'S MY PORN STASH! GIVE THAT BACK! I JUST HAD IT REPLACED!

Tam-Tam: Really, officer? She can't be your type, and you know Rourkie doesn't read porn...

Darious: Actually, he does...

Tam-Tam: Oh...

Guard: I'll need a witness to verify, but she's a close to the description of one of Rourkie's lieutenants. We're taking her into custody.

Darious: Release my crewmate at once!

Guard: Like hell we will! Don't worry, we'll repair your ship. We wouldn't want to lose valuable evidence for the trial.

Thomas: Trial, what trial? On what grounds?

Guard: What grounds do you think? Piracy! *turns to Morgana.* Now come with me, sissy.

*The guards drag Morgana from the ship, the Dread Pirates and the Steam Team follow them.*

Percy: She can't go to hell. Do you know what they do to you in hell? I've witnessed all kind of things in hell, like bad politics.

*Scene cuts to cutaway of Donald Trump in hell with the Devil from Cuphead.*

Devil: So, it says here you were involved with the abuse of power and world domination?

Donald Trump: Well, that's what they said when Mexico wouldn't pay for the wall.

Devil: Okay, into the eternal pit you go.

*The Devil pushes Trump into the eternal pit.*

Donald Trump: Oh no...

*End of Scene 2*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 3:

*Scene changes to a courtroom where the engines and pirates are watching the trial of Morgana, The prosecutor steps forward.*

Prosecutor: There's no reason for the rest of you to stay. Morgana's the one we want. Leave now and we won't consider charging the rest of you with aiding a fugitive.

Emily: Right! We have so much to gain by sticking around, right Darious?

Darious: Indeed we do, Emily. We have our honour.

Emily: Honor? Oh, sure, I forgot, abstract priniciples. That's the secret ingrediant to find those coins, right?

Thomas: There are some things more important than the mission, Emily. We'll be staying right here.

Emily: What? You're joking.

Darious: Nope, Thomas is right, Emily. Morgana is our comrade. I don't care if you put us all behind bars, we Dread Pirates are loyal, we're a family and no matter what, we don't abandon your family.

Thomas: The Steam Team is the same, Emily. If we're stuck in a jail cell, who's going to look after our passengers?

Emily: Oh, you're right, I forgot. I... yes, what you said.

Judge: We're ready to begin. Bring out the accused and read the charges.

*Morgana is brought forward towards the judge and the prosecutor.*

Prosecutor: Morgana... you are accused of two counts of assault, one count of piracy and one count of theft.

Judge: Does the crown have conclusive evidence of these crimes?

Prosecutor: We have, your honor. I give you my word.

Judge: Very well, that is sufficient.

Morgana: Hey, are you just going to take his word for it?

Judge: Why would I doubt his word? He's an honorable prosecutor.

Thomas: Are you sure? He happens to like hookers.

Judge: WHAT?!

Prosecutor: How did you know I dated hookers?

Thomas: *shrugs* I don't know, just a guess.

Prosecutor: I have no reason to lie, unlike you "landers".

Judge: Alright, let's just cut to the chase. Morgana, I declare you... GUILTY!

*The Dread Pirates and the Steam Team gasp in shock.*

Morgana: Oh no!

Thomas: Oh no!

Mila: Oh no!

*Just then, the Kool-Aid guy breaks through the wall.*

Kool-Aid Guy: OH YEAH!!

*The Dread Pirates and Steam Team look at him in annoyance.*

Thomas: You do realise they don't sell Kool-Aid in the UK... Oh wait... never mind, I just got a brain message. They do now... Carry on...

*The Kool-Aid Guy exits the building through the broken wall.*

Morgana: WHAT?! That's it? I'm already... Oh, what the hell. I'm on trial here, aren't I? But do I at least get a chance to tell MY side of the story?

Judge: You'll have a chance to do that during sentencing.

Percy: Sentencing? Does that mean she has to write 50 sentences on a blackboard?

Henry: No, Percy. It's completely different.

Prosecutor: You are guilty, after all. We're all eagerly awaiting the administration of justice.

Morgana: You... miserable little b*****ds. I should gut you all if I had the chance. At least let me speak with my crew before you continue this nonsense.

Prosecutor: She insults our traditions and she demonstrates violent tendencies. If she won't be quiet, she ought to be hanged from the rafters. Let's at least speed this trial along, shall we?

Judge: I agree, Let's keep this brief. Ten minute recess, so you can confer with your crew. Please choose a representative among them to act on your behalf of your advocate, and Morgana, if you cannot keep yourself quiet, we'll hang you from the rafters so

you don't present a distraction.

*Scene changes to outside the courtrooms where Morgana is consulting with Thomas and the Dread Pirates on what to do.*

Morgana: Alright, here's my plan. We've got to bust out of here.

Thomas: But how are we going to do that?

Darious: Violence, or the threat of violence, should be a last resort, lest we prove ourselves to be the monsters they believe we are.

Morgana: I'm already in the middle of a damn show trial. I'm going to be hanging from the rafters soon! I've already been found guilty, we're SO ready for a last resort.

Thomas: Not on my watch, Morgana.

Tam-Tam: You've been found guilty... but are you actually guilty?

Morgana: What difference does that make? I don't ask questions about what you did before you came aboard our ship, do I?

Darious: Hmmm, so it's true then. This certainly explains your reticence on coming here...

Morgana: Captain... it was many years ago, when I was still serving under Rourkie.

Thomas: We know, Morgana. It was another time, another ship, another you. We just have to explain the circumstances to them.

Tam-Tam: Oh yeah, admitting guilt. That'll work out just fine, Thomas.

Thomas: Hey, don't look at me, I don't come up with these ideas.

Darious: Well, what would you suggest?

Thomas: You're the Dread Pirates. You'll earn their respect by being proud, not apologizing. Challenge their very right to judge you.

Morgana: I'm not sure either of those tactics will work, No. 1. I... was born inside a jail, I'll die before I go back.

Thomas: Holy c**p, I never knew that.

Mila: Me neither.

Morgana: Well, I don't have to tell everyone everything, do I? It's not exactly my favourite topic.

Thomas: How long were you in jail, Morgana?

Morgana: What am I, on trial here?

Thomas: Well... now that you mention it...

Morgana: But still, what the hell am I going to do?

Thomas: I'LL explain everything. It's foolish to think admitting guilt will get you off, Morgana. Let's prove to them that their rules were made to be broken.

Mila: Thomas is right, Let's show them that we're an unstoppable force and it would be foolish to get in our way.

Morgana: Yeah... Mila, No. 1! I want you two be my spokespersons.

Thomas: What... me?

Morgana: You and your friends... I've actually started to take a bit of a liking to you. I mean, you may have messed up but you've done some really cool things whilst you were there...

Thomas: You know, Morgana... You're right! We'll do it! For you!

*The Dread Pirates all praise Thomas for his bravery.*

Mila: That's the spirit, Thomas. Show them what engines are made of!

*Scene changes to back in the courtroom where the Dread Pirates and the Steam Team await the sentancing of Morgana.*

Prosecutor: Members of the court, we've already had a verdict declared in this trial... GUILTY!

*Morgana steps forward nervously. She looks back at Thomas, who winks at her.*

Prosecutor: To show the viciousness of the crime, we will hear testimony of the victim of Morgana's heinous act. A crime that we, in our peaceful community can barely comprehend.

Tell the court, in your own words, what happened.

*An elderly shark called Breena stands up from her seat in the jury.*

Breena: It was my first day at sea. You landers don't know, but being a merchant is a great honor among our people. Suddenly, our ship was under fire. A ship pulled up and... And then that WOMAN swung overboard.

Prosecutor: Can you indentify the woman?

Breena: Well... she's quite a bit bigger than I remember her.

Morgana: Hey!

*Gordon tries not to laugh.*

Breena: She held her sword to my throat, she said she'd kill me if I moved. Then one of her crewmembers carted off all my golden kelp. Worth years of work...

Prosecutor: And then?

Breena: And then they left...

Prosecutor: And did you suffer any other ill-effects because of that day?

Breena: Yes, my husband left me.

Prosecutor: I'm not sure I understand... Was Morgana somehow responsible for what happened to your husband?

Breena: ...No.

Prosecutor: I see. Well then, it is a harrowing fact nonetheless, but not part of Morgana's crimes. You've been very brave. The Crown thanks you for your service.

There you have it... Morgana's crimes are undeniable. She's a common thug! If the rule of the law is to mean anything on these high seas...

Then, your honor, I urge you... Give Morgana the most severe punishment available.

Morgana: We'd like to see you try, a*****e!

Judge: Quiet! Do not speak unless you are spoken to. Do your representatives have anything else to say before I issue my judgement.

Thomas: Yes, your honor.

*Thomas steams forward, with Mila standing on his running board.*

Thomas: You may have found Morgana guilty... but she shouldn't be subject to ANY consequences.

Prosecutor: What? Why not?

*Thomas stretches his axles so he and Mila can have a closer talk with the judge.*

Mila: You started this trial with Morgana being declared guilty, based on evidence we couldn't challenge.

Judge: But that's standard procedure.

Thomas: Exactly, maybe it is here! But NOT where I come from, not where Mila comes from and CERTAINLY not where Morgana comes from, either.

Mila: You can punish Morgana, but we pirates and steam engines will take it personally. Your culture values merchants? How would YOU feel if the entire pirate world

wants to get revenge against your vessels?

Prosecutor: Are you... threatening us?!

Thomas: We are the Steam Team AND the Dread Pirates, aren't we? What do you think? We have a fleet of allies. Four pirates and 21 steam engines. Can't top that much now, can you?

Prosecutor: You can't just let her threaten our world in open court.

Mila: We are NOT threatening your world. YOU ARE! Your economy, your secrecy AND your way of life WILL be destroyed if we are the victims of a show trial.

Thomas: But it doesn't have to be that way... You're rational people, aren't you? Is it really in your best interest to punish at least ONE pirate, only to fight a war you can't win?

Judge: But you see, good sir...

Thomas: And if I hear ONE more backchat about Morgana... *gets out knife and holds it against the judge's chest.* I will not be hesitant to slit your neck and asassinate all the others in the room. *turns to the entire court.*

Just be glad you're not in the Houses of Parliament listening to the goddamn Tories 24/7. OKAY?

Judge: *groans* Okay! I've heard enough, the locomotive has a point. I guess I'm ready to make my ruling. Morgana... I don't agree with what you did and you deserve punishment. However, I cannot in good conscience risk a war with pirates. You're free to go! Case dismissed.

*Scene changes to outside the courtroom where the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates are making their way back to the ship.*

Morgana: Come on, guys. Let's go! I don't want to spend a second longer here than I have to.

Edward: Paitence, Morgana. We're going as fast as we can.

*Just then, Breena starts catching up with them.*

Breena: Wait, one moment.

Morgana: *sighs* What do you want?

Breena: Your friends talked about making the world a better place. You're hunting those coins, aren't you?

Darious: How did you...?

Breena: Well, they're... they're dangerous.

James: How'd you know about that?

Breena: That's not important. What's more important is that you learn to quit while you can. Those coins are cursed, I tell you...

Gordon: Well, we've got a somewhat different theory...

Tam-Tam: Save it, big guy! Think of the bravery it must've taken this woman to speak with us, hardened criminals.

Edward: Indeed, All just to warn us that we're in terrible danger. Her selflessness ought to inspire us to change our ways.

Breena: Really?

Edward: Of course she means it. I honestly can't remember the last time I felt so looked out for. Come here, you! Let me give you a hug.

*Edward hugs Breena.*

Breena: Oh, you are a gentleman.

Edward: You take care now.

*Edward, the rest of the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates all leave back to the ship. Back at the ship, Morgana turns to Edward.*

Morgana: You certainly were... friendly with that woman.

Edward: You noticed? Oh, I'm most impressed with your powers of perception, Morgana.

Morgana: I didn't think she was your type.

Edward: I never said she was. When she mentioned the coins, she put her hand to her pocket and...

*Edward holds a coin that Breena gave to him.*

Darious: Wait... you mean...?

Tam-Tam: Guys, to be a great thief, you have to learn how to steal and not get caught. Stealing it was easy as pie...

Percy: Me and Morgana would be not hesitant to bonk you on the head right now, Tam-Tam.

Tam-Tam: Sorry... no offence, Morgana.

Morgana: Yeah... Fine. Come on. We've got more coins to hunt.

Thomas: Right then, everyone. Back to the ship and set sail for our next course.

*The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates set sail for their hunt to find the next coin.*

*End of Scene 3*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 4:

*Scene changes to the pirate ship at dusk. Thomas is talking to Mila and Darious.*

Thomas: So... where to now?

Darious: This time, to safer shores... I promise. We're going to visit an old friend named Luprand. He's the steward of a man named Lazerby. a collector of rare artifacts.

So he may have come across those seeking the coins. Or, if we're fortunate... he may have procured some already.

Mila: But why are you up so late, anyway?

Thomas: There's just a lot to think over, Mila. My mind just isn't letting me sleep. It's been a odd week for us engines, hasn't it?

Mila: Yeah, I understand. It certainly has, Thomas.

Darious: But the coin isn't really what's bothering me. Mila, Thomas, I don't mean to add to your burdens. Morgana is the first mate, So I usually confer with her. But given everything

she's been through today... I feel you two are the right sorts to talk to about this.

Thomas: So... what's on your mind, Darious?

Darious: There's a twisted irony to work here, Thomas. We spent the day trying to excuse Morgana's thievery. Saying the Dread Pirates are something more than criminals, and yet we had to steal,

once again. *sighs* Thomas, when we first met, I told you we weren't real pirates, right?

Thomas: Right.

Darious: But from your perspective, well... given all that's happened since you came board, what do you think we are?

Mila: Tell us, Darious... what IS the difference between a pirate and a queen?

Darious: Hmmm... Well, there could be multiple points of distinction...

Thomas: A pirate steals a few small treasure with a ship, and a queen steals an entire nation with an army. The only difference is a matter of scale. Except queens don't steal nations anymore. This is the

21st century, we have something worse than kings and queens, politics.

Mila: Thanks, Thomas. *turns to Darious.* Have you ever met a queen who lamented the fact that he had to conquer to earn her crown? We shouldn't be ashamed of who we are.

Darious: I refuse to believe that makes us right and that we're just... pirates.

Mila: We're not "just pirates". We're the DREAD PIRATES, and we're on the grandest adventure the world has ever seen.

Thomas: And from what I know, you guys are actually reliable pirates. You saved me and the Steam Team's lives, we thought we would owe you the favour.

Mila: Thanks, Thomas. We should be proud of our ambition and our strength.

Thomas: Are you pirates? *scoffs* Doesn't feel like an interesting question to me.

Darious: It... doesn't? What question intrigues you two, then?

Thomas: Why is your crew loyal to you, Darious? Is it because you've promised to be better, nobler, or more honest than anyone else?

Darious: Erm... No, I suppose not.

Mila: You saved my life, Darious, and Thomas' life, if not the other engines too. You probably saved Morgana's life too.

Thomas: A life debt, then... is that it?

Mila: It's much more than that. Darious' quest has become our quest too, Thomas. I was merely a merchant. Morgana was just another pirate.

Thomas: I'm still a stowaway, you know.

Mila: Tam-Tam was bored and aimless. But now we have something bigger than ourselves to believe in. Like you said, this crew is my family now.

Thomas: The Steam Team's a family too. Right or wrong, we'll always stand with you, Darious. Little engines can do big things!

Darious: *smiles brightly* Thank you, Thomas. You may not be one of us, but I know you'll be a reliable sort to help.

*Thomas and Mila are both going onto the ship's deck when Morgana stops them.*

Morgana: Hey, you two! Where do you think YOU'RE going?

Thomas: Well... we were just...

Morgana: You know, I never liked you, No. 1. And last night, I saw you and the captain chatting away like best pals. Well, I just needed to remind you of your places around here.

I'M the first mate, you know. NOT YOU.

Thomas: Yes... yes... I know, Morgana... I know. You don't have be such a douche about it. We're all rookies here, so get used to it.

Mila: Did you really just want to bully us about rank? We did win the trial, didn't we?

Morgana: Hey, I'm getting there. I also wanted to say thanks... I know you two saved my ass back there. I wouldn't have been able to talk my way of that mess. Hell, you two

might've given Darious a good run for his money.

Thomas: Don't mention it. It's just what us engines do for a living.

Mila: Uh... you're welcome... I guess?

Morgana: I'm usually pretty good at sizing people up... but NOT in a way you think. But anyway, It's not so easy for me to admit I'm wrong. But I owe you guys my life. I'm glad you're on my side.

And hey, the next time you've got some theory about the coins, feel free to talk to me about 'em too.

Thomas: Ummm... sure?

Morgana: I mean, you and me... we know what it's like to be changed by 'em, you know. Darious only knows about it secondhand.

Mila: Yes... of course.

Morgana: And anything else you want to chat about, you've got my permission to bring that up too.

Thomas: Your... permission?

Morgana: Hey shut up, No. 1. I'm new at being nice.

Thomas: Alright, well... clearly.

*Thomas and Mila find Darious and James at the bow of the ship, looking out on the horizon.*

Darious: Ah! Thomas, Mila. We've reached landfall. James, I need you to drop anchor.

James: On it!

*James steams off the lower the anchor, Thomas steams forward.*

Mila: Ummm... Darious. Do you know which place is this?

Darious: I believe we're at Lynton, Mila.

Thomas: We're quite a walk away from the harbour, Darious...

Darious: We're not docking in the harbour, Thomas. I'm not risking anyone mistaking us for Rourkie again. We're docking near the woods,

and we're taking our coins with us, just in case.

Thomas: *turns to Mila.* Oh dear... something tells me this is a very bad idea... And I would've been more happier if I just stayed with those narrow gauge engines that live in Lynton.

Mila: There's a narrow gauge line there?

Thomas: Of course, The Lynton and Barnstaple Railway is quite near here.

Mila: Why couldn't we stay there?

Thomas: Well, 1) We're on an important quest right now, and 2) Me and the Steam Team are standard gauge, so we're quite larger.

Mila: Oh...

*Scene changes to the outside of a manor house where the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates are there outside. Thomas is ringing the doorbell. The butler answers it.*

Butler: Oh, dear. More would-be guests? Whoever or whatever you're looking for...

Darious: I have business with your master, Luprand.

Butler: Luprand may be the steward for this manor... but he doesn't entertain guests, except on business and you don't have any business with him.

Thomas: Actually, we do. Me and my friends here are looking for some rare coins...

Butler: Oh... You're not getting are you? You don't have any, and I mean, ANY business with him. Please leave immediately...

Mila: Excuse me, but Darious is an old friend of his, and I'm sure he'll be more than perturbed if you...

Butler: Listen to me, ma'am. You have to...

Voice: Is everything quite all right out here? I heard shouting.

*Just then, a German Shepherd in 17 century clothing walks out. For he is known as Luprand.*

Luprand: Darious? Is that you? It's been 20 years if it's been a day.

Darious: Hello, old friend. *shakes Luprand's hand.*

Luprand: Come in, come in! Though if I may ask. Could your friends remain outside?

Thomas: Ah... yeah... Not a engine-friendly house... We can live with that.

Percy: But it's so dark... and cold... and musty.

Henry: Yeah, We're the Steam Team, and we...

Luprand: I'm sorry, I must insist. There is a matter of much delicacy I must speak with you about... Alone.

Darious: Crew, remain outside please. This shouldn't be long. In the meantime... Thomas, Mila and Morgana will be in charge.

*Thomas and Mila high-five each other. Morgana pouts in dismay.*

Thomas: Me in charge of the fleet. I can't wait...

Darious: And you three, I expect you to display some magnanimousness about this.

Thomas: Oh... erm... I'll sure show them... um...

Tam-Tam: It means to be gracious and humble.

Thomas: Oh, thanks Tam-Tam. But I think I know what it means now.

Morgana: Don't you worry, Darious. I can be gracious and humble all day long.

*Gordon turns to James.*

Gordon: *whispers* She can't even be kind for at least one second.

*James snickers quietly.*

Darious: Of course you can, you three. I'll see you soon.

*Just then, the butler walks out.*

Butler: I'll keep the crew company, sir.

Luprand: You'll do no such thing, Charleston. This here is my old friend Darious. Please go to the wine cellar and fetch us a bottle.

Charleston: Yes, sir.

Darious: Oooh, a bit of wine? Sounds lovely.

*Darious and Luprand enter the building, leaving the other pirates and the engines outside.*

Duck: So... er... should one of us return to the ship, just to keep an eye on it?

Morgana: Why bother, No. 8? Who would steal that old clunker?

James: That damn Rourkie. Those cannons cut through us like a hot knife through butter.

Henry: I'd give my Class 5 firebox for The Pirate's Fate back.

Gordon: Really?

Henry: Ehh... no.

Thomas: You know, guys. I miss it too...

Mila: Same here. If we had our ship back, do you think we would've defeated Rourkie?

Jade: Not that I know of.

Morgana: Well, damn right we would've!

Thomas: Which means... *gasps* Leeko's death! It's MY fault, isn't it? It's all my fault!

Mila: What makes you say that, Thomas?

Tam-Tam: Oh, darling, please. We don't need to see you engage in ANY self-flagellation.

Morgana: Tam-Tam, No. 1 and Mila may not be favourites of mine, but even I know they'd never do that out in public.

Thomas: No, no, Morgana, I mean it. Mila and I were the ones that gave away our ship. And with that, our edge in combat. There's no way to deny it, we're responsible.

Gordon: You just disobeyed orders, little Thomas. Didn't you expect there would be consequences?

Abigail: Even people who follow orders die out here, Thomas. It goes with the territory. Both Mila and Leeko were merchants before coming on board, right Mila?

Mila: Yeah... that's right.

Tam-Tam: I'm sure Leeko would've jumped at the chance to live to be a hundred, moving spices across the same safe trade route over and over again.

Thomas: What're you talking about?

Bertha: What Tam-Tam is saying, Thomas, Is that as far as she sees it, drudgery and meaninglessness is a fate worse than death.

Edward: And you two both did Leeko a favor, if not forgetting Kate as well.

Mila: Thanks, you guys. But how many other people will Rourkie kill before we can stop him?

Thomas: And how many will have to die for our mistake?

Mila: And HOW can we sleep at night knowing about this?

Chloe: You think YOU have trouble sleeping?

Morgana: Well, yeah. How many people do you think I killed before I joined up with Darious?

Thomas: I... erm... I don't know.

James: You were a heartless killer before coming on board...? Damn, I'm shocked. I thought for sure you would've been a purveyor of artisan soap cakes.

Morgana: Oh shut up, No. 5. Mila, No. 1, you feel bad because your actions got Leeko and Kate killed. But what if you two shoved daggers into their backs or forced them to walk the plank?

By the time I joined Darious, I'd lost track of the people who've died at my hands. Some for good reasons, some for...

Thomas: Oh, God... really?!

Morgana: Yes, really. But I'm sleeping just fine, thank you very much.

Mila: How?

Morgana: The coins, you guys. It's the coins.

Percy: So you're saying... the coins cure insomnia?

Morgana: No, you fool! Once Darious explained the mission to me, I knew everything we did was justified. When we succeed, we'll bring more light into the world than

all the death and destruction I could've done in a thousand lifetimes.

Toby: Oh, that's certainly impressive.

Thomas: So what you're saying is... we don't have to feel guilty, because the ends justify the means?

Morgana: Yeah, something like that.

Gordon: But if only we were stealing regular gold, we might be able to uprgrade our ship to something a little bit nicer...

Tam-Tam: Like that ship that just pulled into the harbour? She's a beauty, isn't she?

Morgana: I don't believe it... that's...

Thomas: What ship?

*Thomas and the other engines turn around to find a familiar ship.*

Thomas: It is! IT'S THE PIRATE'S FATE! IT'S BACK!

Edward: Hold it, Thomas! Rourkie could be lurking about on it... And Darious hasn't come out yet!

Thomas: You're right, Edward. We've got to get the captain! Leave it to me.

*Thomas blows his whistle and Luprand answers the door.*

Luprand: What do you want? You're coming at an inopportune time, you know...

Thomas: Sorry, Mr. Luprand, sir. But we've got to alert Darious. It's serious.

*Just then, Darious arrives at the door.*

Darious: Luprand, what's gotten into you? I'm sure my crew wouldn't be knocking and whistling quite ferociously if it wasn't so serious.

Mila: But captain! Look!

*Mila points to The Pirate's Fate and Darious gasps.*

Darious: Well, shiver me timbers... The Pirate's Fate! Rourkie's coming in from the east. That means his line of sight doesn't hit where we've moored on the coast.

Luprand: Darious, If I may borrow just one more moment of your...

Darious: Not now, Luprand. I've got a ship to stop.

Luprand: Alright, please yourself then, old chap. Cheerio.

*Luprand closes the door.*

Donald: So Rourkie doesn't know we're here? Och, that gives us the element of surprise.

Morgana: No time for that, No. 9! Let's ambush him!

Darious: Wait a minute...

Morgana: What is it, captain? This is our chance! We've got to strike now!

Darious: I don't want to risk a direct confrontation...

Morgana: And I don't want to risk letting that b*****d get away.

James: And I don't really want to be here. In fact, NONE OF US DO!

Gordon: James is right, the sooner we get the mission done, the better.

Darious: Just listen for a minute, please! Rourkie's looking for a coin! That trail will lead him straight to this door! And we're going to let him walk right in!

*The engines all gasp and mutter in shock.*

Darious: Trust me, engines. If he steps inside that house... he's not coming out.

Morgana: But captain...

Darious: I'll explain later. Right now we've got to find better cover.

Mila: I thought we weren't ambushing Rourkie...

Thomas: We're not, Mila. We've after something FAR more important that revenge. We're retaking that ship, now here's my plan...

*Thomas and the Dread Pirates gather close to each other and whisper the plan, the other engines eavesdrop on it too. Scene changes to out at sea where The Pirate's Fate is sailing, with Brock at the ship's wheel.*

Brock: *chuckles* Who knew trading ships would be so much fun? Mary, are you being a deafo again? Swab the desks!

Mary: On it, Brock!

*Meanwhile, Thomas, James, Percy and Nia are at the top of some trees near the cliff edge, ready to strike. Mila is on Thomas' footplate, Morgana on James', Darious on Percy's and Tam-Tam on Nia's.*

Thomas: Right then, you guys... Are you ready...?

*The others agree as The Pirate's Fate draws nearer to the trees.*

Brock: *smirks* Man, driving this thing is easy. I've had such a good week and a good run. Nothing will ever stop me!

Thomas: NOW!!!

*Thomas, the engines and the Dread Pirates jump from the trees. The other engines follow pursuit and jump on the ship.*

Brock: What the f-?

*The engines grab Brock and hold him hostage. Meanwhile, Mary abandons ship.*

Thomas: Check his pockets! Pronto!

*Percy checks Brock's pockets.*

Percy: Yo, I found a coin!

Edward: Alright, good sir. Where's Rourkie going next?

Morgana: Yeah, Brock. Where is he?

Brock: Nice to see you again too, Morgy.

*James slaps Brock on the back of his head.*

James: Don't you dare call her that, beaky!

Morgana: Tell us now, or I'll slit your throat.

Brock: I... I... er...

Thomas: Tell us now, feathers! Or I'm gonna do something VERY ILLEGAL!

Brock: ARRGH! Okay, okay! Fine! We were heading to Queen Nakhta's bay after this...

Mila: Hang on, hang on! You're telling us Rourkie would take his ship RIGHT to the doorstep of the most powerful pirate-hater on the planet? Do you think we're fools?

Brock: Good guess, but actually no. But that doesn't mean I was lying, right?

Darious: Rourkie wanted to challenge the Queen's navy? With such a small crew?

Brock: I said I'd tell you where we were going. I don't remember saying I'd tell you why we were going there. If you want more information, well... I'm happy to negotiate...

Holly: What ambition this guy has.

James: Ambition?! *scoffs* He stole our ship AND killed Leeko! And now he wants to negotiate with us? Well no, you guys! It's time for some revenge, hardcore Lank and York style! *gets out pocket knife.*

Gordon: J-James...

James: Don't you try and stop me, parrot-boy must PAY!

*But before James could slit Brock's throat, Percy blows his whistle.*

Percy: James, wait! We've got to show him mercy!

Brock: You know, you should listen to the small green engine.

James: Yes, but WHERE was the mercy when LEEKO needed it? Beaky doesn't deserve our mercy!

Brock: My name's Brock, you know.

Percy: But where would we be right now if Darious hadn't shown you mercy? Had you done anything to deserve it from him?

James: What's THAT have to do with it?

Mila: It's not about who he is, or if he deserves it. It's about who we are. I believe in the goodness of people and I believe in second chances. And after what's happened in your life, shouldn't you?

Morgana: Mila's right. When Darious offered me a second chance, I thought he had a soft heart. But I'd NEVER kill anybody that Darious cared about. Aside from parrot-boy here...

James: Giving a second chance to Brock, after what he did? Mila, you're taking soft hearted to a whole new level.

Mila: Hey, am I supposed to be ashamed of having a soft heart? I'm proud of it.

Brock: Look, guys! I won't bother you again. I'll even tell you how to get into the castle.

Percy: You will?

Darious: I'm listening, Brock.

Morgana: Captain, don't! It's a trick! He'll tell us about some secret passageway and Rourkie will be waiting at the end of it to stab us in the back.

Brock: No, it's nothing like that. The Queen wants those coins. We figured we'd attack the merchants bringing the coins to her.

Henry: She's expecting merchants to bring them to her?

Tam-Tam: Fantastic! We can pose as one of these merchants to get into the castle.

Thomas: An excellent idea. Tam-Tam, you're a genius!

Brock: Great, glad you've all worked that out. I kept the end of the bargain...

Mila: Yeah, we should let him go...

James: What, and ruin all this frustration? No, he'll warn Rourkie!

Darious: Trust me, that isn't going to be a problem.

Brock: Yeah, yeah, I'm not a rat.

Thomas: We can see that, parrot-boy.

Mila: I know you aren't. Or at least, you don't want to be. I know you have goodness inside of you. Get up, Brock.

*Brock gets up from the chair.*

Brock: Okay, now what?

*Brock turns around to find Percy hugging him.*

Brock: What the...?

Mila: Percy, stop hugging him. I haven't finished!

Percy: Oh, sorry! *stops hugging Brock.*

Emily: Sound advice, from where I stand. Don't look back...

Mila: Well... I'm sure these coins are just approving the mercy we showed Brock.

Thomas: *scoffs* Yeah, right.

Edward: They certainly have a funny way of showing, don't they?

James: Showing mercy to Brock? You guys are nuts! What's next, are we going to "show mercy" to Rourkie and the rest of his crew too?

Darious: Rourkie and the rest of his crew are almost certainly dead, James.

Brock: Wait... they are? You're joking, right?

Darious: Well, my friend Luprand informed me in a manner of speaking of the situation in his house. Turns out his place is haunted, after all.

Morgana: You sent them into a haunted house? Oh, hell yes!

Darious: I told you to trust me, didn't I?

Brock: Well, I know Rourkie! He's never been so stupid as to mess with a haunted house!

Chloe: I guess that means you're both stupid. *giggles*

Brock: What?

Abigail: What Chloe is saying is that Rourkie and Mary walked into the house.

Brock: Wait... they did?

Darious: Indeed, they did!

Brock: Wow... Darious... you... you took Morgana in, didn't you?

Darious: Well, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Brock: Well, then. I'm sure you've got room for one more, don't you?

Thomas: Of course we do, err... Brock. Come here and give me a hug.

Brock: *shrugs* Ah, what the hell?

*Brock hugs Thomas.*

Mila: Thomas, I don't know if your running board can survive that...

James: Nobody's gonna survive that. Darious, tell me there's no way this is gonna happen.

Gordon: Why not? I changed my ways, why can't he?

Morgana: We're telling you, No. 4. He can't be trusted!

Oliver: But James. Isn't that what Morgana said about Tam-Tam, Mila and all of us engines?

James: As far as I'm concerned, Oliver. The jury is still out on that one...

Tam-Tam: You're one to talk about verdicts, red one. I say, let Brock stay! The more, the merrier! He's not bad to look at, either...

Mila: I'm in too! What about you engines?

*The engines all blow their whistles in agreement.*

Brock: Well, 24 against two, James and Morgana. I guess you lose.

James: *groans* Why YOU...

Thomas: Well, Brock. If you DO want to stay on the ship. You have abide to Darious' rules. I can imagine they're VERY different from what you are used to. Us Dread Pirates and the Steam

Team respect the chain of command and Morgana is the first mate of this ship.

Morgana: Damn, right. Unless the captain says otherwise, you'll obey my orders. Got it?

Brock: Got it.

Percy: Step outta line and she'll have you picking barnacles off the hull with your beak.

Brock: Right.

Darious: And Morgana, please avoid... antagonizing him.

Morgana: *sighs* Fine. But I'd never do anything like that with him.

Thomas: Morgana... the word means p*****g someone off.

Morgana: Well you're DAMN RIGHT I'M P****D OFF!

Mila: I'm sure if you and Brock got to know each other a little better...

Morgana: I served with him for years, you idiot. I hate that man!

Thomas: Look, Morgana... I understand why you think you hate him. I really do. But HOW can you know for sure that the person you hate really exists?

Morgana: What, are you going to argue that Brock's imaginary?

Brock: I think, therefore, I'm not. Or am I? Maybe I only think that I'm thinking.

Darious: Back on that ship... Brock just did what he had to do to survive. As did you, Morgana. You became the pirates that Rourkie needed you to be.

Thomas: But now that Brock's here, he'll have an entirely new set of pressures, rewards and incentives. Not to mention a new leader to follow.

Darious: And before you know it, he might transform into an entirely different kind of person.

Brock: You mean like... what happened to Thomas over here? Did he transform from an human to an engine?

Thomas: Nope, I've always been an engine and so have the others.

Darious: Well, that's not the kind of transformation I meant. But... all things considered, yes, that's certainly possible as well.

Brock: *gulps* Uh oh...

Edward: Hey, don't worry about it, Brock ol' chap. It doesn't matter to me what you look like.

Gordon: Size doesn't even matter back on the Island of Sodor.

Brock: Really?

James: Yeah, because no matter what you turn into, or what you do to try and impress Darious... You'll always be scum in my eyes.

Darious: Anyways, Molly! Chart a course for Kittering Castle. We've got a queen to see.

Molly: Ay-ay, Darious!

*Molly steams away to chart the course. Darious turns back to Brock.*

Darious: Hopefully, she'll explain the mystery of the "Shape What You Were" coins. Brock, you don't know anything about them, do you?

Brock: Shape what you what now?

Mila: You really think you're going to fool the Queen? The woman who eats pirates for breakfast?

Percy: She eats pirates?!

Mila: No, it's a figure of speech, Percy. She doesn't really eat pirates.

Percy: Oh... right.

Thomas: If she sees through our ruse, then I'll try getting her to listen to our reason and help us with our mission.

Douglas: Och, so we ask her to trust us, after she finds out we tricked her?

Thomas: I see your point, Douglas.

Oliver: You know, Forget actually meeting with her! Whilst the queen's waiting for us to show up, we can sneak in the back way, storm her room and steal the coins! Easy!

Darious: She'll know something is up if we no-show...

Morgana: Then why don't the rest of you go to your meeting, drag things out as long as you can, and I'll steal the coins myself whilst you keep her busy?

Mila: Are you sure, Morgana? That could be quite dangerous...

Morgana: When was the last time I was scared?

Brock: Well, this was a few years ago, but wasn't there this little spider inside an old bottle of...

Morgana: Shut up, Brock!

Duck: Oooh, that sounds exciting. Tell us more, Brock.

*Morgana facepalms whilst the other engines gather round to listen to Brock's story. Meanwhile, James is still pouting.*

James: So they let Morgana go off and leave ME to fight the abuse of royalty, what the hell is wrong with these guys? Couldn't that power keep me alive too?

Thomas: James, there's comes a time... *turns to the viewers.* ...in a popular children's character's life where... *turns back to James.* ... it's just over.

James: What do you mean "over"?

*Scene cuts to Thomas, Percy and James emerging out of the water near a place called Redwick. James is sobbing loudly.*

James: Why do bad things happen to the best engines? *sobs*

*James is back inside the ship where Mila is putting a flannel on his forehead.*

James: *sobs* Why me? Why now?

Mila: Just keep it on your forehead. James. Just try to relax, okay?

James: *sniffs* Okay.

Mila: You want some more water?

James: *sniffs* Thanks, Mila. You're cool.

Mila: I get it from this pump over here. *soaks some water from a water butt using a sponge.* You see, they put the gutter in wrong, so the water runs down the woodwork and I catch it here in the water butt.

*Mila walks over to James.*

Mila: Open wide, James. I'll squeeze it in there for you.

*Mila squeezes the water from the sponge into James' mouth.*

Thomas: It's time, James. You know what we need to do.

James: Yes. *holds up a piece of paper.* My bucket list. It's quite large, I had to use a quill because there were NO BLOODY PENS!

Thomas: Right, let's see. *reads the list.* Actually flirt with a furry... written 50 times.

*End of Scene 4*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 5:

*Scene changes to back on the Island of Sodor where Diesel is at Crovan's Gate with Annie and Clarabel, exhausted from doing all of Thomas' work as well as his own.*

Narrator: Back on the Island of Sodor, things still weren't going well without the Steam Team.

Diesel: *pants* This... is... exhausting... I miss the blue puffball, I miss the unrevolutionary, I miss everyone.

Joey: So do I, Diesel. But there's nothing we can do about it.

*Just then, The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt) walks onto the platform.*

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Quite right indeed, Joey. Without the Steam Team, I've been having to work in overdrive to get their trains up and running.

Joey: You know, guys. I'm sick to death of doing all this extra work. I miss the engines really badly, I think it's high time we formed a search party.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Hmmmmm... But what about the passengers?

Diesel: Couldn't a bus service take over? I mean other buses, not just Bertie, Bulgy and Algy.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Seems like a fair idea, Diesel.

*Just then, The Thin Controller (Mr. Percival) walks onto the platform.*

The Thin Controller (Mr. Percival): Good morning, you lot. Still peeved about the loss of the Steam Team?

Joey: As a matter of fact, Mr. Percival, sir. Yes!

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): And as a result, Diesel and Joey are going to be forming a search party on the mainland.

*Diesel and Joey look at each other in angst.*

Joey: Us... sir? On the mainland?

Diesel: I don't know, sir. It's been an AWFUL long time since I've been on the mainland.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Yes, I know that. But you're not going alone, I'm coming too.

*Just then, Amy and the Female Furries walk onto the platform.*

Amy: And so are we!

Joey: Hey, girls. What're you doing here?

Amy: We were on this train for ages, we were waiting to go to Crovan's Gate.

Sandy: It's been so boring, not having the engines to torment on a daily basis.

Fifi: I really miss monsieur James.

Fidget: And we're all going to help find them too!

Lilac: We do come from different universes and we must stick together.

Darlene: Even if we make out alive or not.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Excellent. I knew I could count on you girls.

*Just then, Neville pulls into the station.*

Neville: What about me, sir? Can I come too?

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): I don't know...

Joey: I wouldn't mind, sir. Neville hardly hasn't had any work to do. I think he'll work perfectly with us.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Very well, then. Neville. You can come!

Neville: Thank you, sir!

*Just then, the Skarloey Railway engines all pull into the station.*

Skarloey: Are you sure you want to go? We want to come to...

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): I'm sorry, Skarloey. You and the others are much too small in gauge to help with this big mission.

The Thin Controller (Mr. Percival): Alright now, Topham. If my engines want to join, they can. Considering the Skarloey line is need of a HUGE major repair and there might

not be enough work for the engines whilst the repairs are being carried out.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): But how? They are narrow gauge and they possibly can't fit.

Joey: What about the special haulage wagons you've specially built for the engines? They haven't even gotten to use those yet.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Hmmmm... I guess that could work, I mainly just planned on using them if one of the smaller engines on the NWR breaks down and I haven't

any spare engines.

Joey: *turns to the Skarloey engines.* Well, guys. What'd you say?

*The Skarloey engines all whistle and honk in delight.*

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Very well then, it's settled. Tomorrow, we all go the mainland and find the Steam Team!

*Everyone cheers know that their plan will work.*

Narrator: So it was sorted. Tomorrow, me and the citizens of Sodor will travel through England to find the Steam Team...

*Scene changes to The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates, outside Queen Nakhta's court. Thomas is talking to James.*

Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the continent, The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates had travelled all the way to Kittering Castle to meet with the queen.

Thomas: One time, you got it? Flirt, once. One time...

James: But the list says 50...

Thomas: ONCE!!! You got it?!

James: *sighs* This isn't gonna work...

*Thomas steams forward to the door of the court, Mila and Darious follow. Thomas blows his whistle to attract the sentry's attention.*

Thomas: So who's the sentry at the gates then?

Voice: That would be me, Priscilla.

*The gates open and a pheasant dressed in royal clothes walks out.*

Priscilla: I'm dreadfully sorry, but the Queen's just too busy to see any old merchants right now.

Darious: Yes, I know. But this is urgent. We have vital information regarding the coins.

Priscilla: You and how many others?

Thomas: Darious, this isn't going to work. Let's just go...

Priscilla: I say... is that a locomotive? Who are you and where are you from? I don't mean to pry, it's just that, well, for us residents and staff of Kittering Castle, it can be difficult to find a place where public

rail transport is still a thing.

Thomas: My name is Thomas T. Tank Engine, Me and my sentient engine friends known as the Steam Team have come all this way from the Island of Sodor, Northwest England. We were stowaways of pir- I mean... sailors whilst

heading out on a trip.

Priscilla: Sentient? That means... you DO know about those coins. They touched me, too. Go right in and see the queen.

Thomas: Why thank you.

*The courtroom doors open and the crew enter where they find themselves in the queen's alley. It's full of different shops and cafes selling different things.*

Mila: That was easy...

Thomas: Indeed... but... do those coins REALLY make non-living things sentient?

Darious: One of them does indeed, Thomas.

Thomas: Interesting.

Edward: Hey, has anyone seen James?

*Just then, they notice a small clothes shop near the entrance where James is.*

James: Thank you! *steams out from the clothes shop and catches up with the others, holding a bag.* I must say, they have a KNACK for selling clothes to splendid red engines. I bought

some... ideal things for if I want to flirt with the Queen.

Mila: O... kay?

Gordon: Hold on a minute, are you REALLY sure that she's a queen?

Tam-Tam: Positive, why?

Gordon: Well, here's the thing. Us Steam Team engines have actually MET the Queen, and not the queen we're seeing.

Mila: You mean, you engines actually met THE queen?

Gordon: Indeed, HM The Queen, that is.

Darious: Unbelieveable, you must be very lucky engines.

Thomas: Oh, that was years ago. There were only seven of us engines back then.

*Just then, some doors open and the engines find themselves in the courtroom of Queen Nakhta. They're so amazed they all let off steam. Right at the back of the courtroom is the throne where the Queen is sitting,

she gapes at the smoke.*

Royal Guard: Your Majesty, you have some visitors.

Queen Nakhta: Oh, who are you lot pretending to be? Merchants of some sort?

Duck: *amongst his own steam.* Begging your pardon, your highness? Pretending to be?

Queen Nakhta: Feel free to drop your futile little attempt at a farce. One of you... the parrot... has given the game away. There's a wanted poster for you and your friends,

and there's nothing one loves better than hanging pirates in the town square...

Tam-Tam: What would you say if we told you we'd come here to turn him in?

Brock: Wait, what?! Morgana must've talked you into this, didn't she?

Mila: We're not turning anyone in. Our crew is like a family, your majesty. We may be pirates, but you have to hear us out...

Queen Nakhta: One "has to"? May one remind you, my dear, that you're speaking with the queen. If you want to continue to breathe air on this earth, you'll do exactly what one tells you.

Mila: Yes, your majesty.

Queen Nakhta: And another thing, what is all this smoke? Are you planning on an attack?

Mila: No, your majesty. We're not... *turns to the engines.* You can cut that out now. There's no need to be shy.

Thomas: *amongst his own steam.* We weren't shy, we were just... er... just... in disbelief, that's all.

*Thomas and the Steam Team eventually stop letting off steam and reveal their true forms. Queen Nakhta stares in amazement.*

Queen Nakhta: One says! Real locomotives? In ONE's courtroom?! One didn't think that was possible.

Thomas: *laughs* It is now, your majesty. I'm Thomas, Thomas T. Tank Engine and these are my friends known as The Steam Team.

Queen Nakhta: *steps forward from her throne and shakes hands with Thomas.* Well, one welcomes you to Kittering Castle, Thomas.

Thomas: My sailor friends have been asking me, what do you really want from us?

Queen Nakhta: Well, you will help one use these coins to protect one's throne. How, precisely, does one use the "Shape What You Were" coins?

Thomas: To travel back in time.

Queen Nakhta: One sees, young tank engine.

Mila: How did he know?

Thomas: Remember when we saw the future?

Mila: No, I don't... You obviously did, I didn't.

Brock: From what I know, Rourkie used them all the time.

Queen Nakhta: He did? Is it easy?

Brock: You kidding? Totally easy. Almost too easy, you know what I mean? *chuckles*

Queen Nakhta: Not at all, hence the need for this pedantic conversation.

Henry: Uh... what?

Gordon: *steams forward and clears his throat.* May I intervene this conversation? I'm not sure what we're getting at... you being a queen. *scoffs* I've obviously met the queen before and I know what she looks like.

Queen Nakhta: Wait... you know... Queen Elizabeth II?

Gordon: Yeah... so?

Queen Nakhta: Oh, one says! She was a friend of mine back in high school. *sighs* Them were the days. One wonders how things are getting back at Buckingham Palace? One hasn't heard from her in a long time, not since Prince Philip passed away.

Percy: Dang...

Queen Nakhta: But anyways, how... does Shape What You Were work?

Thomas: Makes you go back in time to fix your past mistakes.

Queen Nakhta: Most auspicious, Did you have a degree in science and spaceology?

Thomas: No... I just saw the future...

Queen Nakhta: That's fairly obvious! But... can it work on someone else? Can you re-shape the past of another?

Thomas: Of course, I experimented with Mila.

Mila: I still don't know what you're talking about, Thomas. I really don't.

Queen Nakhta: And one does remind you that we're looking for the details here? What was your experience like?

Thomas: Oh yeah... Really awkward. Mila was depicted as a monkey and I was portrayed as a reindeer engine like my sister Jade. *turns to Jade.* No offence, sis!

Jade: None taken!

Thomas: *turns to Queen Nakhta.* And furthermore, our future selves bonked us on our own skulls and left our bodies there whilst they took our places on the ship. Had to redo the whole

scene all over again from what I know.

Henry: Ever hear about someone drone on and on and one about some stupid story you couldn't care less about? It's like that! But up close and personal. Us engines didn't witness it, only Thomas did.

Queen Nakhta: Interesting... So it's like talking to a boring person?

Thomas: Yes... I mean... No! It's like... you get to walk through their memories, like an art gallery. Live out their lives, you know? But... you can shape and change whatever you want. They might say "Oh no! That's not

how it happened." But it did, it really did. You never know when you might least expect it, your majesty. That's their voices inside your head. Well, I guess to them, you're in their heads... anyway, you make them mess up

your lives and... they get scrapped. And so when they grow up, they never tell you about that boring story about how you fall down mines or crash into stationmaster's houses. So you... you never thought to use Shape

What You Were on 'em. So it never like... happened... in a bajillion years.

Queen Nakhta: Very fascinating.

Thomas: Which means that it did. *chuckles nervously.*

*Thomas gazes nervously back at Mila, Percy, Darious, Tam-Tam and Gordon, who aren't that impressed or amused.*

Thomas: Okay, now I'm getting a headache...

Queen Nakhta: So does one! How could this possibly be the process you described not a moment ago as "easy"?

Thomas: Hey, it was a long week. I'm exhausted, I've been on a scavanger hunt to find some coins that I don't know of and I STILL haven't gotten home back to Sodor. It's tiring, I know I love travelling the world

and all but this is getting too serious. Well... back to the coins, I did make it look easy.

Brock: Rourkie got a lot of practice from what I heard.

Thomas: Thanks, Brock!

Queen Nakhta: He did?

Brock: Yeah... I mean... uh... How do you think he found such an amazing crew of pirates? I mean, we all got kicked out of our homes from stealing from our grandpas, that's why. Except for Thomas. He's never been a pirate,

neither have the other engines.

Queen Nakhta: One fails to see the connection, but no matter. Does activating the coin require any... verbal instructions?

Percy: The coins come with instruction manuals? I didn't see any of them!

Brock: No... but if you want to use Shape What You Were... you've got to have the red crystals.

Thomas: What red crystals?

Queen Nakhta: Red crystals? This is the first time one's hearing about those.

Darious: Same here.

Mila: And me.

Percy: Pretty much all of us... except Morgana. She'd likely know.

Tam-Tam: Are you two serious? I've never used Shape What You Were, but even I know about the red crystals!

Queen Nakhta: What do they do?

Brock: What don't they do? Why, they're just about the most important thing about Shape What You Were! You see... They stop you from getting stuck in the past! If you don't

have a magic crystal to go home, you'll be stuck living out yourself or someone else's boring stories over and over again...

Thomas: Of course! Me and Mila's future selves didn't have any crystals... They must've forgotten to bring them on purpose.

Queen Nakhta: How dreadful! Has this... actually happened to anyone?

Brock: Um... yeah! Sad story there... I have this crewmate. Well, I HAD this crewmate...

*Just then, Morgana arrives unexpectedly.*

Morgana: Hey, Darious! Can I go shopping for some new shoes? My feet are killing me!

Darious: Of couse, Morgana. Your highness, I'm sure we've taken more than enough of your valuable time.

Queen Nakhta: Oh, you lot be sure to stay in town. One has got to reach out to some of my source about these red crystals. Whatever you do, do not under any circumstances

speak to one's sister about any of this? Understand?

Darious: Of course, your highness.

Queen Nakhta: And you engines can stay with me for a moment of your time. One needs some helpful advice.

Thomas: Ummmm... sure, I guess.

*The Dread Pirates exit the courtroom, Mila calls back to Thomas over her shoulder.*

Mila: Don't worry, Thomas. We hope you can get out of here whilst you can soon.

Thomas: Me too, Mila.

*As soon as the Dread Pirates have gone, Queen Nakhta turns to Thomas.*

Queen Nakhta: Well, given as you and your Steam Team are folks of reliable knowledge. One needs your advice.

Thomas: Of course, your majesty. What is it?

Queen Nakhta: For years, one's life has been lonesome. one has always wanted a king to rule by their side. But oh, one has no ways of how to do so. As if one may ask...

Thomas: Ummm... *chuckles nervously.* You clearly must be mistaken... I'm not really a king.

Queen Nakhta: Oh no, not at all. One just wants to know, how DO you attract the ladies, is it the same way men do?

Thomas: Oh... *chuckles* What you need is my friend, James. He's the ladies' man. He'll know what you need. Hit it, Percy!

*Percy turns on a stereo. Some techno music plays in the backdrop.*

Queen Nakhta: What is all this?

Thomas: The sound of progress, your majesty. You want to find a way to attract the men. You'll get your way!

Queen Nakhta: But how?

Thomas: It's easy, just follow my friend James' lead and he'll show you how things work.

Queen Nakhta: He will?

Thomas: Most certainly indeed. James is always the ladies' man. He wouldn't say no to royalty. He's one of the most splendid engines you'll ever encounter.

Queen Nakhta: How splendid?

Thomas: Well, then. Why not take a look for yourself?

*Just then, some curtains open to reveal James wearing a top hat with a bowtie and holding a cane in his hand in a sort of dapper way.*

James: *singing* Heaven... I'm in heaven,

And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.

And I seem to find the happiness I seek,

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.

*James dances with Queen Nakhta.*

Heaven... (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek) I'm in heaven, (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

And the cares that hung around me through the week, (Engines: *singing* Hung around him through...)

Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak,

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek. (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

Oh, I love to climb a mountain,

And to reach the highest peak.

But it doesn't thrill me half as much

As dancing cheek to cheek.

Oh, I love to go out fishing

In a river or a creek.

But I don't enjoy it half as much

As dancing cheek to cheek.

Dance with me! I want my arms around you.

The charms about you

Will carry me through to...

Heaven... (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek) I'm in heaven, (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. (Engines: *singing* So he can hardly...)

And I seem to find the happiness I seek,

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek. (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

Queen Nakhta: Oh, one says! What a charming engine you really are.

James: *speaking* Oh thank you, your majesty. Just doing my job! But it ain't finished...

*singing* Dance with me! I want my arms around you.

The charms about you

Will carry me through to...

Heaven... (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek) I'm in heaven, (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. (Engines: *singing* So he can hardly...)

And I seem to find the happiness I seek,

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek. (Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

Oh, I love to climb a mountain,

And to reach the highest peak.

But I don't enjoy it half as much

As dancing cheek to cheek.

Dance with me! I want you to dance...

(Engines: *singing* Cheek to cheek)

*The engines all make chuffing noises to the rhythm.*

Queen Nakhta: Oh my, this is so much fun! How do you know all of this?

James *speaking*: Ah well, it's just a knack. I do it for fun!

Queen Nakhta: A knack, you say? You must be a professional.

James: Well, when you've lived on Sodor for more than 100 years, you learn as you grow.

Queen Nakhta: Quite fascinating for an engine of your kind.

James: Ah, Thanks! I do my best.

Queen Nakhta: So, anymore tips on how to you attraction others?

James: Well, it's complicated really. But let me say this...

*singing* It ain't a shiek to dance cheek to cheek. (Engines: Cheek to cheek)

So say, my freaks wanna dance cheek to cheek. (Engines: Cheek to cheek)

You pull real close to the one that you love. (Engines: Cheek to cheek)

Slide and glide, side to side, through the night.

Queen Nakhta: *laughs* You are such a champ at this, young James.

James: *singing* Now, I'm takin' my ginger and you're taking your gin.

And now we shall show the world that we can dance off some steam.

So come on now and try it. Good times, gurantee!

Just slide away to the tune today 'cos Man! That's what we need!

*James continues to dance with Queen Nakhta. Scene changes to outside the ship where the Dread Pirates are waiting for the engines.*

Mila: *sighs* Where's Thomas? He and the others should've been back by now.

*Just then, Thomas' whistle sounds in the backdrop.*

Tam-Tam: That must be them now.

*Thomas and the Steam Team arrive back at the ship, exhausted but triumphant.*

Morgana: About time you d******ds got back here. Where were you?

Thomas: Sorry about that, Morgana. The Queen wanted some advice on how to attract men, and James was able to help.

*James pulls up beside Thomas.*

James: And how... Anyways, I still have one more set of business to do. *points to a nearby spa.* There's this spa that Brock told me about.

*Brock walks over to James.*

Brock: You asked for Ni-Hao for the sexual kick. You tell her you do not know me. W-w-w-wait, don't tell her that 'cos she's gonna tip all off that you know me.

So... uh... don't mention me. But throw her an extra £20 and tell her it's in the house.

James: Thanks, Brock.

*Brock hands James a £20 note.*

Brock: 20 thousand bolts. *chuckles* I'm using a feminist icon to pay for a sex act. *laughs* The irony ain't lost on me and when she rolls you over, you ask...

James: I know, Brock. I know. The happy ending, right?

Brock: That's... um... the amateur hour. What you need, No. 5, is the M. Night Shyamalan.

James: But he's an actor...

Brock: Yes, I know. But it's the unresolved ending with a twist. Oh, and one more thing, don't let her use the cooking oil. Unless you like white birds over your dingdong.

James: Thank you, man.

Brock: See you on the other side, Jimbo. *fist bumps James.*

James: You too, Brock.

*James turns around and steams into the spa.*

James: Alright! Bring on the M. Night Shyamalan!

Mila: Ummmm... what's the M. Night Shyamalan?

Brock: Oh, it's not special. She just shoves a mop up your ass.

*They hear James' scream of pain from outside the spa.*

Brock: *chuckles* You don't see that coming.

*James steams triumphantly out of the spa with a huge mop shoved in his firebox.*

James: Thanks, Ni-Hao! I'm pretty sure she got off.

Darious: Anyways, looks like we've safely cleared the harbour undetected...

Thomas: How'd you get those coins, Morgana?

Morgana: It wasn't easy. I tried to sneak in by pretending to be the woman that delivered the dessert cart. Of course, they were a little suspicious because all the desserts had... uh...

gone missing. But then I...

Darious: Good, good, Morgana... Brock, you wanted to tell me what exactly was going on back there? Why didn't you tell us everything you know about Shape What You Were earlier?

Thomas: Everything he knew? You can't be serious, Darious... I debunked it because I saw the future!

Tam-Tam: Come on, Darious. It's not like he was being obvious about it or anything, and what Thomas is saying is right.

Gordon: But... why?

Brock: Hey, No. 1 was just following orders, No. 4!

Darious: I never gave Thomas any orders to lie to the queen.

Brock: No, but I did.

Morgana: What?! Brock, have you lost your mind?!

James: Put it this way, Morgana. You did say "Drag things out as long as you can, and you'll steal the coins yourself whilst we kept her busy."

Thomas: Yeah, Things were getting hot, so I tried to say whatever Brock thought would stop her from sticking our necks and our smokeboxes in the noose.

Darious: Wow, That's... that's... brilliant! Congratulations, Thomas and Brock, on a very successful con.

Morgana: Successful? They just ran their mouths while I was the one that did all the work.

Thomas: *steams up to Morgana.* Morgana, you weren't there... but the queen really was ready to kill you. She asked us a question we couldn't possibly answer... Whilst you were stealing the coin,

Brock's tall tale as told by me managed to capture her attention. So we've proven ourselves very loyal and valued members of the crew.

Brock: Damn right, No. 1!

Morgana: He's only proven how stupid you all are!

Percy: Hey! We may be steam engines but we're not stupid, Morgana.

Darious: Well, Brock. We never got a chance to properly give you a tour of the ship. Let me tell you what we're all about. You see, The Dread Pirates are not actually pirates...

*Whilst Darious gives Brock a tour of the ship. The engines get back to work, except Thomas and Mila are left with Morgana, Tam-Tam, Percy and Gordon.*

Percy: Come on, Morgana. Give them a break, please! Thomas followed your orders AND Brock saved our lives.

Gordon: What do you want Brock to do next, part the sea for us?

Morgana: That man is one of Leeko's murderers, Nos. 4 and 6! I'll never forgive him.

Tam-Tam: Ugh, I seem to forget how much you loved Leeko.

Morgana: What's that supposed to mean?

Percy: Isn't it obvious that you show him more loyalty after he's dead than when he was alive? Meanwhile, Mila, Brock and us engines have all risked our lives for this crew and we STILL don't

have your trust! Maybe you just can't let anyone else on this ship be the apple of the captain's eye.

Morgana: How... dare you!

Thomas: Errm... everyone, tempers are rising. Maybe we should all pause before we say something we might regret.

Morgana: Listen, you lot and listen good. I know Brock better than any of you, and I promise, he's going to stab us in the back the first chance he gets. And Tam-Tam, you two bit liar... don't even second guess me again,

if you know what's good for you.

Tam-Tam: Fine, fine, I promise, this is the last time I'll ever bother you.

*Just then, Darious walks up to see Thomas and Mila.*

Darious: Ah! Mila, Thomas, could you two join me in my quarters for a moment?

Mila: Ummmm... sure, cap'n.

Thomas: Right away.

*Thomas and Mila follow Darious to his captain's quarters, leaving Percy and Gordon with Morgana and Tam-Tam.*

Percy: Hey, you guys remember Men Without Hats? You know...*does hand-gestures.* S-S-S-A-A-A-E-E-E-E-T... Ummmm... How'd you spell safety?

*Just then, James comes dancing and farting.*

James: *singing to the tune of The Safety Dance.* You can fart if you want to!

You can fart out of your behind. *farts in front of Percy and Tam-Tam.*

You fart real cool to make your butts rule with the gas that's inside of you!

You can fart... *farts in front of Gordon and Morgana.* ...You can fart... *farts in front of Percy and Tam-Tam.*

Everybody look at the butt... Fart!

Percy and Tam-Tam: *singing* It's a safety fart, well it's a safety fart!

*James kicks Percy and Tam-Tam overboard.*

Gordon: Wow, that's real mature, James.

James: *speaking* Thank you very much.

*Scene cuts to Darious' quarters where Darious is talking to Thomas and Mila.*

Darious: This ship is certainly becoming worryingly adversarial, isn't it?

Thomas: Well... er... that's one way to look at it, sir.

Darious: ...Is there another?

Mila: Captain, this isn't just a great challenge, it's a great opportunity. What better way to show leadership than by leading so many people who can't get along?

What better way is there to prove we're the ones who should change the world?

Thomas: Of course, it's not going to be easy, Mila. But I know there is goodness inside every person and engine here. I know, given the right amount

of time, paitence and love. Then we'll ALL want to get along, We'll all want to be a family.

Darious: Thank you, Thomas and Mila. That's a beautiful vision for us. I sincerely hope it is within our grasp.

Mila: I know it is, captain.

*End of Scene 5*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 6:

*The next morning, on the Island of Sodor. Joey and Diesel's search party are waiting at Vicarstown, ready to go and find the Steam Team.*

Narrator: Back on the Island of Sodor, The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt) sent me and Diesel's search party plans into action.

Diesel: Okay, once more, sir. Where are we going?

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): To South West England.

Diesel: And why are you and the Female Furries in the coaches?

Amy: We're gonna help locate the whereabouts of Thomas and the Steam Team.

Diesel: And why is Joey here?

Joey: I came up with the idea.

Diesel: And why am I here?

Sandy: Because you know the Other Railway better than we do, Diesel.

Diesel: And why are the narrow gauge engines here?

Skarloey: Because we couldn't find Duke to look after the railway.

Diesel: And why is Duke here?

Duke: 'Cause Bertram didn't wanna come by himself.

Bertram: *On a flatbed* Hi!

Diesel: And why is everyone else here?

Joey: *sighs* To be honest, Diesel. I think everyone else on Sodor had the same idea.

Diesel: *chuckles* Okay, fair enough.

*Just then, Salty and Porter arrive at Vicarstown, with Cranky, Carly and Big Mickey on the flatbeds. The two engines are quite out of breath.*

Salty: Ahoy... me hearties... *pants* You're not going to believe what I just found!

Joey: What is it, Salty?

Porter: *pants* Salty found a message-in-a-bottle, floating near the quay at Brendam.

Cranky: And I've told you multiples times, it's just rubbish. That should be at the waste dump.

Whiff: Now now, Cranky. Let's not jump to conclusions. Salty could be right.

Salty: Arrr... indeed. But the only thing is... I don't have a bottle opener.

Mavis: You can borrow mine. *gives Salty her bottle opener.*

Salty: Aaargh, Thank you Mavis.

*Salty uses the bottle-opener to open the bottle. He looks inside.*

Salty: I don't think there's any paper. You have a look, Joey.

*Salty gives Joey the bottle, Joey shakes the bottle upside-down and a piece of paper falls out from inside.*

Joey: *gasps* Salty, you're right. This IS a message-in-a-bottle!

Cranky: So he WAS telling the truth.

Diesel: What does it say, Joey?

*Joey reads the message and gasps again.*

Joey: It's from Thomas! HE'S ALIVE!!!

*The other engines all cheer and whistle.*

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Alright, settle down, everyone! Let's not get carried away! Joey, what did Thomas write to us?

Joey: Well, he wrote...

*Scene cuts to Thomas in a cabin on the Pirate's Fate, writing a letter back to Sodor.*

Thomas: *thinking as he writes* Dear Joey and all my friends.

Me and the Steam Team are doing alright, all 21 of us engines are together.

Unfortunately, we didn't arrive in Dartmouth as our railferry got destroyed in a storm.

But luckily, we were rescued by a group of treasure hunters known as the Dread Pirates.

They're currently on a hunt for some magic coins that can change almost everything in the world.

We have found six coins in the process as of now and we're currently finding the seventh one.

But I hope you guys are doing fine. The Dread Pirates have promised us that we'll be home

on the Island of Sodor once the rescue mission is complete. Unless we take a turning to Dartmouth...

But my condolences go out to all the engines and friends who have managed without us.

Yours truly

Thomas and the Steam Team

*Thomas puts the letter in a bottle and throws it out to sea.*

Thomas: I hope they get the message in time.

*Scene cuts back to Joey reading the note.*

Joey: Well, won't you look at that? Thomas is alright, he's just been rescued by friendly pirates.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Well then, We better go to the many seaside lines we can find.

Joey and Diesel: Yes, sir!

*The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt) climbs on board Clarabel.*

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Right then! Off we go, everyone! We're on a treasure hunt too, to find the Steam Team.

*The cavalcade sets off from Vicarstown, on their way to find the Steam Team.*

Joey: *singing* Come on everybody, let's hit the rails

We know this mission's never gonna fail.

We're gonna save Thomas and his Friends

from the dreaded pirate's end.

We're going to locate their whereabouts

I hope their fires haven't been put out.

We can all either bounce or jump or flip

'cos we're on a crazy railway trip!

Diesel: *singing* Come on everybody, and ride those trucks

I know this mission's never gonna suck.

Those silly l'il steamies are lost at sea.

And they're all suffering without me.

We're all going to work just like a team

Hoping this is never like a dream.

I hope we can all stay strong and hip

'cos we're on a crazy railway trip!

*The cavalcade cross over Vicarstown Bridge and on their way to the mainland.*

Joey: *speaking* We'll find the Steam Team and get them home before they know it!

Diesel: *speaking* Indeed we will, Joey!

Bertie: *singing* Trust me if we know who's lost out there.

We can show that we can always care.

Harold: *singing* Nothing ever stops us going on.

As we're only starting to have fun.

Skarloey: *singing* We'll all work together at all ends

and try and find our really useful friends.

Female Furries: *singing* We're going to help find our friend Thomas.

And we'll all behave so good, we promise!

Neville: *singing* Come on everybody, and run so fast.

We know our rescue's never gonna last.

Whoever really thought we'd work a ton?

'Cos we're on a supersonic run.

Murdoch: *singing* I'm hoping this long trip can stay quiet.

I don't really want to cause a riot.

Joey: *singing* But don't worry if we let one slip 'cos...

Cast: *singing* We're on a crazy railway trip!

Rheneas: *singing* The southbound seas are not so good.

Our friends could be surviving without food.

Annie: *singing* They might not live long, they're frail and old.

Clarabel: *singing* And the weather is really quite cold!

Mike: *singing* It could be a nightmare, I'll tell you this.

Frank: *singing* I wouldn't want to hear some possums hiss.

Sir Handel: *singing* Then why don't you stop being such old drips?

Duncan: *singing* 'Cos we're on a crazy railway trip!

Diesel: *speaking* Come on, you guys! The quicker we do this, the sooner things will be back to normal.

Joey: *speaking* And that's a fact!

*Diesel honks his horn.*

Cast: *singing* Come on everybody, let's hit the rails

We know this mission's never gonna fail.

We're gonna save Thomas and his Friends

from the dreaded pirate's end.

We're going to locate their whereabouts

We hope their fires haven't been put out.

We can all either bounce or jump or flip

'cos we're on a crazy railway trip!

Come on everybody, and ride those trucks

We know this mission's never gonna suck.

Those silly l'il steamies are lost at sea.

And they're all suffering without me.

We're all going to work just like a team

Hoping this is never like a dream.

We hope we can all stay strong and hip

'cos we're on a crazy railway trip!

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): *singing* Come on, all my engines! I'm counting on you!

We know some missions might even take two!

Joey: *singing* The Steam Team will be calling for heroic acts

And we'll all be switching on the right tracks.

Diesel: *singing* Those silly l'il puffballs, they can see

That their lives were never meant to be.

Annie and Clarabel: *singing* Oh please! Shut up, Diesel and get a grip.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): *singing* We're going to find the tearaway...

Joey: *singing* We'll be going that-a-way...

Diesel and Joey: *singing* We're on a crazy railway trip!

Cast: *singing* We're on a crazy railway trip!

Joey: *singing* Yes, we're on a crazy railway trip!

*The engines all blow their whistles and honk their horns whilst they make their way to find the Steam Team. A map shows the cavalcade at Dalton-in-Furness, it pans out to

reveal the engines are far away near the Bristol Channel.*

Narrator: Meanwhile, on the other side of the continent, the engines and the pirates were on their way to find the seventh coin. But things weren't quite going as well as they should...

*Morgana is complaining, as usual.*

Morgana: Tam-Tam! I should've thrown you overboard when we had the chance.

Tam-Tam: Oh, please! If it wasn't for me, you'd have never made it this far in the first place.

Morgana: Say that again and I'll cut your...

*Just then, Edward blows his whistle as he arrives on the argument.*

Edward: Now what's all this going on here? Why are you two at each other's throats all of a sudden? I can hear the commotion from beneath the deck.

Morgana: That bloody thief stole my...

Tam-Tam: Oh, calling me a thief! What are you, a caretaker at an orphanage?

Edward: *whistles firmly* Alright, alright. Cut the back chat.

Tam-Tam: What? We're the Dread Pirates, aren't we?

Edward: Look, as Darious said to us engines, we're...

Tam-Tam: Treasure hunters, I know, oldie, and I was hunting me some treasure.

Edward: I don't want to hear excuses, Tam-Tam. Us engines are not thieves and neither are you. Just give Morgana back what's hers and let's put an end to this.

Morgana: Put an end to this? No. 2, you mean you're just going to let her get away with...

Tam-Tam: Oh, I'll return it to her. Right after we turn this ship around and we give the queen back her coins.

Edward: What are you talking about?

Tam-Tam: You keep saying we aren't thieves - what exactly did we do last night?

*Just then, Thomas and Mila arrive on the scene.*

Thomas: Tam-Tam, we heard everything. We tried our very, VERY best to get those coins honestly.

Edward: We can't steal from each other, or how else can a crew of pirates build trust? I think that you and I know that this is an especially sensitive time for that, ol' chap.

Tam-Tam: We haven't had any trust in the first place! Morgana, that little princess, told me so herself. She said she suspected I was the thief right from the start.

Morgana: I was right, wasn't I?

Tam-Tam: If I'm going to be treated like a thief, why shouldn't I act like one?

Thomas: *whistles loudly* Oh, shut up! You two have to learn to get along. We say that to Donald and Douglas all the time.

Edward: If not counting Bill and Ben at the Clay Pits as well...

Mila: You're right, we all do.

Thomas: Well anyway, Darious told me we're docking at a rare merchant shop near a place called Porlock Weir soon. The queen's belongings contained a bill of sale from

this place. I just know it has something to do with the coins. Morgana, Darious wants you to go and take Tam-Tam with you. Tam-Tam, whilst you're there, Morgana is in charge,

and you're to follow her orders.

Morgana: Welcome to hell...

Thomas: AND... Donald and Douglas will be coming with the pair of you.

Edward: Are you sure that's a good idea, Thomas? I think you and Mila should go with them just to make sure they don't kill each other. I'll stay behind with Darious and the others.

Thomas: What... why?

Edward: Well... Brock might need to hear the explanation about the coins a second time.

Thomas: To be fair, Brock is deaf and needs a hearing aid. I can tell you...

*Scene changes to a merchants shop in Porlock Weir where Thomas, Mila, Morgana, Tam-Tam, Donald and Douglas are going.*

Donald: So... Darious thinks there could be another coin hidden in here?

Mila: Well, I suppose he's right, Donald.

*The sextet enter the building carefully and quietly as they could.*

Thomas: Hello, is anyone there?

*Just then, two matchmakers (one rabbit and one cat) appear out of nowhere.*

Cat: Oh, hi there! Welcome one, welcome all, to Sherry and Threyon's love imporium! We have everything you could want for your most intimidating needs...

Douglas: Och, your what now?

Sherry: We sell trinkets to help fill the hole in the heart...

Mila: Awww... how cute they are!

Morgana: How pointless! We're obviously in the wrong place. Let's go!

*But before Morgana can leave, Donald grabs her by the collar.*

Donald: Now wait a minute, laddie! Darious said we had to be here, whether we like it or not.

Tam-Tam: Morgana's right, A little window shopping will just kill us, won't it?

Morgana: It just might if you keep pushing me!

Sherry: She's so grumpy... maybe she's beyond even our ability to help.

Threyon: I'm sure she's just acting reprehensive 'cause she's so shy at heart.

Donald: No, she isn't. In fact, she'd make a great substitute to use as a log for the true Scottish Caber toss championships.

Douglas: *chuckles* Good one, brother!

*Morgana groans in embarrassment.*

Threyon: Cupid just needs a helping hand sometimes, lady. There's no shame in that...

Morgana: Cupid can mind his own goddamn business, thank you very much.

*Just then, Cupid passes the sextet out of the shop with a bag.*

Cupid: I 'eard that!

*Cupid leaves the shop in annoyance. Morgana turns back to the others.*

Tam-Tam: Ah, being shot in the heart with an arrow. What could be more romantic?

Thomas: I don't find it romantic. That actually sounds kinda painful, you know.

Mila: How'd you know?

Thomas: You ever been shot in your bum by a bow and arrow before?

Mila: No...?

Thomas: Well, that's how I feel about it.

Sherry: Well, it's a legend that has roots in...

Morgana: A history lesson? Okay, that's it! We're leaving now. As in, right now!

*But when Morgana tries to leave. She finds that her foot has been chained to the counter, Douglas has the key in his hands which he puts in his running board.*

Douglas: Try explaining that, lassie.

Thomas: Yeah... we came looking for some... enchanted coins.

Threyon: Why yes, of course! The wizard didn't conjugate them for nothing, you know.

Morgana: The wizard?!

Tam-Tam: See, Morgana? We're at the right place after all.

Threyon: You sure are! I know love will be in the air soon.

Morgana: Give us the coins and nobody gets hurt.

Donald: Yep, except Morgana 'cos she's a b***h.

Morgana: HEY!

Threyon: But we haven't had a chance to give you a talisman, or admonish one of our love questionnaires yet!

Morgana: We're not just on some pleasure cruise. We're the Dread Pirates! We're not going to take anything from a couple of lovesick merchants.

Douglas: We are taking coins, lass.

Threyon: Well, we're not just merchants! We're matchmakers! Love gurus! Romantic enervators...

Thomas: Well then, If you are the love-making duo... Do you know how to talk people into having *leans over to Threyon and Sherry and whispers.* S.E.X?

*Threyon and Sherry look at Thomas in disbelief and blush.*

Threyon: Ummmm... You're going to have to find out for yourself...

Sherry: Anyways, what could be better than a world in love, right?

Mila: Sounds pretty dreamy...

Tam-Tam: And here I thought being a pirate would be fun. Do you two have an opening?

Morgana: Please say you've got more than one. I'd love nothing more than to leave these two... uh... five idiots here.

Donald: Hey laddie, That's not nice!

Sherry: Sorry, team of two over here...

*Douglas and Thomas gape nervously at the fact that Sherry's breasts are digging into the back on Threyon.*

Douglas: Dang... these guys are a proper wee lovey-dovey...

Thomas: Tell me about it...

Mila: Now, how exactly are you using these coins to... um... do whatever it is you do?

Threyon: You know, it took us quite a while to contemporize and figure them out... But it turns out there was a clue written on the coins all along!

Thomas: There was?

Threyon: Yep. It says "Become What You Seek".

Thomas: Hey, Mila's got one of those... It's around her neck.

Sherry: The coins amplify, among other things, desires. Normally, your own... But how is that going to help your love life?

Threyon: Maybe if you're in love with your own refraction...

Thomas: I never said I was.

Sherry: We managed to capture the desires of others into talismans. So you can become the perfect fit for your ideal partner. Combined with our coin, love will be

in the air before you know it.

Morgana: So, you use the coins to give people... what, an extreme makeover? What a waste...

Donald: Och aye! Says you, Little Miss Backchat.

Mila: Well, if it makes people feel better about themselves, what's the harm in that?

Sherry: Well said, catgirl!

Threyon: You know, I'm getting a thought, what about that dragon egg?

Sherry: Perfect! I'll go get it from the back! *huddles Threyon.* You should come with me. I don't want to spend another second away from your beautiful face...

Threyon: And I don't want to extirpate myself from your beautiful... well, you know...

*Threyon and Sherry both walk to the back room, huddling each other.*

Morgana: Darious told you guys to get the coin! Why are you lot wasting time chatting them up? I say we follow them in back and then jump 'em right now.

Donald: Ach, Can we say "OwO What's this" while we can?

Thomas: No... Donald, you can't.

Mila: I like the idea!

Tam-Tam: Then we can knock out everyone else that might help us. But in case you haven't noticed, Morgana. Is that we don't know everything there is to

know about these coins. Is it a crime to finesse a little information about of them first?

Mila: And they're cute, in their way, aren't they?

Morgana: No, they're not! Constantly talking about love, like that's the greatest thing on Earth.

Douglas: But it is, you obviously don't because you have no heart yourself, lad.

Donald: Aye, You've lost your heart underneath all that flab you got.

Morgana: Shut your Scotsholes or I'm shoving bagpipes up your asses so hard, you'll be talking out pipe noises!

*Donald and Douglas look at Morgana, stunned.*

Donald: Whoa... *turns to Douglas* She's got us there, laddie...

Douglas: Aye...

Tam-Tam: Remind me, what's better, again?

Morgana: Respect, Trust and Duty. To name just three. We're risking our lives looking for these coins, and I'm supposed to worry about love.

Tam-Tam: It's because life's so fragile that every moment is so precious, darling.

Mila: Hmmm... I think this couple has just the right idea for these coins. Trying to make the world fall in love, how delightful.

Morgana: Love isn't always delightful and easy, you know. It's like a machine. If it breaks down, you can't mend it with only one screw.

Thomas: *clears throat* Correction: Two...

Morgana: Okay... two...

Mila: Well, put it this way. Circe wanted to use the coins to destroy people's minds and Trento wanted to make addictive food... Compared to them, these people are saints.

Morgana: So, we've seen worse. That's your case?

*Just then, Threyon and Sherry arrive back at the counter.*

Threyon: Sorry about the delay, folks. Not to worry, we've got exactly the talisman to put love in the air. We've just been having a friendly debate over who to give it to...

Morgana: We don't want any stupid trinkets. We're not taking anything except the coins. You see...

*Donald covers his hand over Morgana's mouth to shut her up.*

Donald: We'd be delighted to try out your trinkets, laddies. Please excuse our *clears throat* big friend. Her heart is just as bad as her weight.

Douglas: Aye, Let's at least hear them out, lad.

Sherry: I think something's in the way... and that's why we're going to give love a little helping hand! Morgana, we considered an item for you, but after some discussion... Donald, we've both decided that

this love talisman would be best placed in your hands.

Morgana: Let's just get the coin and go, No. 9.

Donald: Patience please, laddie. I need to try this out! Can't I enjoy my moment just a little?

Sherry: It's just what you need, Donald. Here, take it...

Douglas: Donal', no! Don't do it! It's a trap!

Donald: Ach, hud yer weesht, Douggie. What's one talisman going to do to me?

*Sherry gives Donald the talisman. Donald puts it around his smokebox. Just then, Donald notices a small bottle with a nozzle on his talisman.*

Donald: Ach, no way. I never knew this was a hanging fragr-... *sprays the fragrance in his face.* AAAARGH! MY EYES! THIS ISN'T FRAGRANCE, IT'S PEPPER SPRAY!!!

*sobs* WHY ME? I BUY THIS THING AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? *sobs*

Douglas: I tried to warn you, Donal'...

Tam-Tam: Wha... what happened?

Sherry: What do you think? You've sprayed yourself to be lucky in love.

Donald: Lucky in love? LUCKY IN LOVE?! You give me a f**king pepper spray and call it "lucky in love"? *sobs*

Tam-Tam: Lucky in love? I certainly doubt that, but... damn. Scotsboy certainly feels lonely and empty so often that he's tempted to get his hopes up.

Douglas: Ach, I wouldn't judge it, Tam-Tam.

Mila: Ummm... Is that true?

Donald: Ach... I... I thought... I thought you were trying to help people look PRETTY!

Threyon: Oh, but you're very pretty.

Donald: I don't look any different, I've just sprayed my own eyes with pepper spray and YOU'RE SAYING I'M F**KING PRETTY?! *sobs*

Tam-Tam: Maybe according to you, But Scotsboy will get a lot less attention from other people, if not other engines too. And you know me, I really, REALLY, like getting attention.

Morgana: Tam-Tam, did you break your sarcasm bone or something?

Thomas: No, she hasn't. Well... aside from Donald burning his own blood vessels.

Sherry: That's another little side effect there. The dragon who donated that egg was brutally honest, always.

Donald: Och, you're telling me I have to be honest all the time?! *sobs* I never wanted to be honest with people! Oh crikey, lads! I'm already doing it. Morgana, Douggie. Let's just get the coin and go, okay?!

Sherry: You can't take that. How do you expect us to help people without it? Giving people advice? Creating a safe space to talk about their problems?

Threyon: We'll go broke. We might as well declare bureaucracy right now.

Thomas: Don't you mean bankruptcy?

Threyon: Yes, that.

Thomas: Oh... whoops.

Morgana: I don't care what you do. We're the Dread Pirates and we don't take NO for an answer.

Thomas: Leave it to me, guys. I've got this...

*Thomas aims a gun at Threyon and Sherry and opens fire at both of them.*

Thomas: There we go. If James can do it, so can I. Now, Douglas. Give me the key to the footlock so we can get that coin and everyone's happy.

*Douglas gives Thomas the key so he can unlock Morgana's footlock. Morgana feels more than happier to be free.*

Morgana: *sighs deeply* Thank you, No. 1. That footlock was causing a pain on my ankle.

Thomas: Don't mention it. Now then, Douglas, Morgana. I want you to take Donald back to the ship. Mila and Tam-Tam can stay and help me raid the store. *leans over to Mila and Morgana.*

Trust me, you guys are pirates and pirates do steal from whom they've killed.

Mila: I'm not sure about this... but okay.

Morgana: Are you sure, No. 1? I wanted to get outta here as soon as possible.

Thomas: Morgana, we're pirates. Stealing is fractically within our blood.

Morgana: Oh... alright. Makes sense when you glance at it.

*End of Scene 6*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 7:

*Thomas, Mila and Tam-Tam arrive back on the ship with the loot of love potions and all from the merchants shop. Morgana is already there and so is Donald, who's dabbing a wet cloth in his eyes to soothe

the pain from the pepper spray. Darious and Douglas are there, waiting for them.*

Darious: So... how did things...?

Donald: Och, really upset now, captain! I'm very uncomfortable with how they treated me and I'm worried about what you'll think of me.

Darious: There's no need to be sarcastic, Donald.

Donald: That wasn't sarcasm... I... really... *sighs*

Darious: I assume a more thorough explanation is forthcoming?

Donald: Captain... I'd just like to get back to work and put this behind me, if you don't mind?

Douglas: Ach, I'm with him.

Darious: Ah, yes. Of course, You and Douglas can help Morgana rig the sails.

*Donald attempts to steam forward but knocks over a bucket of water in the process.*

Donald: Och, I'm having a little bit of trouble here... Morgana? Douggie?

Morgana: Hey, I'm having a hard time as you are. At least you can't see my flab.

Donald: I can see you but my vision is so... blurry. It's like I need to get contact lenses.

*Just then, Brock arrives with another bucket of water and a mop.*

Brock: Whoa... I hope Donald's okay.

Darious: So... Mila and Thomas... are you two going to be the ones to tell me the full story on why this happened?

Mila: Oh, what difference does it make on how it happened, captain? All we can do is move on, and try to help each other get along better.

Darious: That's... certainly true. I hadn't thought about it like that. Thank you, Mila.

Thomas: We don't have any immediate leads on the coin, Darious. Which is certainly concerning to me.

Darious: I'm aware of that, Thomas.

Mila: Why would that be concerning, Thomas?

Darious: It wouldn't be under ordinary circumstances. But given the tension that's been building between certain members of the crew...

Thomas: Well. I just hope we reach our next destination quicker before we go stir crazy and someone gets hurt.

Mila: We'll do what we can, Thomas.

Thomas: *turns to the viewers.* There's only like five members of the Dread Pirates now... I'm sure Darious can find his own private space.

*Scene changes to the ship at night. Duck is talking to Brock and Tam-Tam.*

Duck: I guess no more crow's nest for you, huh?

Tam-Tam: Good guess, GWR.

Brock: Aww, come on. Don't feel bad, guys. Maybe you'll be really useful at the next barbeque, right?

Duck: The answer to that might be "yes" and that deeply frightens me.

Brock: Oh, whatever.

*Brock walks off the rig the sails. Just then, Mila and Thomas turn up after sweeping the decks.*

Duck: Are you still making fun of Donald, after what happened to him?

Mila: Of course not, Duck. What makes you think that?

Duck: You've come to give me a hug, then? 'Cos that's what I really need right now.

Mila: Hey, me and Thomas were just trying to help.

Thomas: Ah yeah, sorry about that, you guys. Me and Mila are used to the sarcasm too.

Tam-Tam: Listen, thanks for coming. But you've done your good deed for the day. You don't have to bother yourself with me anymore.

Mila: *sighs* We're not here because we feel we have to be, Tam-Tam. We're here because we want to talk to you and Duck.

Duck: Though that might not be such a great idea...

Thomas: Why's that?

Duck: It's just... well... *clears throat* It's because either me or Tam-Tam might say something that we'll end up regretting.

Mila: Hey, it's okay, Duck. No matter what you say, I won't run away or judge you. Neither will Thomas.

*Thomas is trying to sneak away but Mila catches him, so he has no choice but to steam back.*

Tam-Tam: We don't believe you. We think you just act like goody two shoes all the time because that's how you want to be seen.

Thomas: That's not true.

Duck: Yes, but deep inside, you're every bit as bitter and jaded as everyone else around here.

Thomas: Don't be silly, Duck. That's not even in the slightest bit true.

Mila: Do you really think that?

Tam-Tam: We do. In fact, I think that right now, you're both seething inside, thinking about how difficult I'm making it for you to be nice to me.

Mila: Well, that egg made Donald honest, but it didn't make him psychic, that's not what we are.

Duck: Well, that's who everyone is.

Thomas: Duck, some of us care about something called "loyalty".

Tam-Tam: Hmph! What a joke indeed. The second I became more trouble than I'm worth to this crew, you'd all throw me over. I'd probably be dead already

if Morgana was captain.

Thomas: Then WHY do you constantly pick fights with her? The same way some neighbour's mutt picks fights with my driver Joey's dogs.

Tam-Tam: Because, Thomas, unlike you, I don't want people to like me. I want people to respect me. Morgana would NEVER respect someone who grovels at her feet.

Duck: And neither would Darious, for that matter. We're right, aren't we? ... You're judging us, aren't you?

Mila: Why, just WHY, are you so cynical?

Tam-Tam: You really, REALLY want to know? You want to hear some lame, sappy story about my childhood?

Thomas: As a matter of fact, yes. We do.

Tam-Tam: I had a wonderful childhood, actually. Fantastic. At least for the first few years.

*Scene changes to a flashback of Tam-Tam's childhood.*

Tam-Tam: My father was away, fighting in the Bloodmoon War. It was just my mom and my two older sisters, trying to scrape by. But we did just fine, we all loved each other...

At least that's what I thought... One fateful day, when I was around seven years old, they announced the peace treaty. The war was over, all the soldiers could come home.

My entire town celebrated and everyone was happy. Except my mother, she was worried as hell and I knew something was up.

When the day came for me to come home, she took me to the outskirts of town and just dropped me off. Told me she never wanted to see me again and if I ever did try to find her again,

she'd kill herself.

*Scene changes back to modern times with Thomas, Duck and Mila looking shocked and appalled.*

Thomas: What? Why?

Tam-Tam: I didn't know why either, for the longest time. Then one day, I asked someone "How long was the Bloodmoon War?". It was eleven years ago. Do you guys get it now?

Mila: No, but we're sorry.

Duck: I got it... *sniffs* That must've been a tough childhood for you, Tam-Tam.

Tam-Tam: Glad to see you care, GWR. My father was away at war for eleven years! But I was only seven years old. My mother cheated on my father and she knew that if he came back

and saw me, she'd have to admit it. But rather than tell either of us the truth, she just kicked me out and pretended I never existed.

Duck: What a ghastly story... We're so sorry, Tam-Tam. Perhaps, one day, you can let go of all of this.

Tam-Tam: No, GWR. I hated my mother for years. But I've come to accept that she acted no differently than anyone else would've, given the circumstances.

That's just the way things and people are.

Duck: You're telling me, Tam-Tam. My early life on the Great Western line was pretty tough too.

*Scene changes to a flashback of Duck's early working life.*

Duck: I formerly worked at Paddington Station, one of the main terminuses on the Great Western Railway. The first four months of my life were pretty good. But then in August of 1929, things

took a really sharp downfall. As the Great Depression and its stock market crash of the 30s made things so difficult for us Western engines to financially work and the Second World War didn't make

things any different either. In fact, it just made things worse. And even though the war ended in '45, I had another two years to get things back to normality, when out of the blue, the British Rail network

got nationalised and as a result. Many bad things were happening, to my family and my friends. Such as the Beeching Axe and Dieselization, but by the summer of 1955. That was where my life was changed

for the better. I got to be an official member of the North Western Railway, I still get these terrible backstories from my days on the Great Western line but I've not given up hope yet.

*Scene changes back to Duck, but he feels determined.*

Duck: I've stood on my ground, left my traumatic past behind and became a whole new engine. And if it happens to me, It could happen to you too, Tam-Tam.

Tam-Tam: Yeah... But I saw you today, didn't you? With your side-tanks, you couldn't rig the sails. You should've seen the way Darious looked at you. With contempt...

Thomas: Nobody feels contempt for you, Duck and Tam-Tam. Darious certainly doesn't. After all, I've got side-tanks too, don't I?

Duck: So?

Thomas; I'm happy with who I am. And some things are a little more difficult for me too. I do feel suffering pangs from my annoyance a little more often, And I can't pull as many coaches or trucks

as the bigger engines, but I also feel a little warmer on cold nights, and I like feeling really useful.

Mila: I like my fur feeling soft and cuddly, but there's usually no-one to stroke it. I'm also one of those cats who purrs everytime they get petted.

Thomas: And I feel more beautiful and content looking in a mirror than I ever did back in my old days at Brighton.

Tam-Tam: I... I don't know if I can ever be like you, Thomas.

Mila: Tam-Tam, this has been a difficult journey for all of us. We have no idea what's going to happen next, or who is going to suffer from what.

Thomas: Mila's right. By tomorrow, I could be dead and you could be the next No. 1 engine. If you WERE an engine that is...

Tam-Tam: What's your point, Thomas?

Mila: There's only one thing we can count now, our loyalty to each other and our trust in one another.

Tam-Tam: I've been teaching myself not to trust anyone my whole life, Mila.

Thomas: It's never too late to take your first step, Tam-Tam. Have you and Duck ever told anyone else those stories about your childhoods?

Tam-Tam: Not a soul.

Duck: I only included the good bits of my life.

Thomas: Well, you look at you two. You're already on your way. Thanks for trusting us, guys.

*Duck and Tam-Tam eventually brighten up.*

Duck: Well, thanks for listening to us, Thomas and Mila.

Tam-Tam: Yeah... you guys are good friends to talk to.

Mila: Oh, we're just happy to help, Tam-Tam.

Thomas: Yeah, anytime. Doesn't it feel good to be honest and share?

Duck: Surprisingly, yes.

Mila: Why is it such a surprise?

Tam-Tam: Without a little exaggeration, our stories would be less interesting.

Duck: She's right. I may be Great Western and all. But without a little white lie, we might hurt each other's feelings.

Tam-Tam: And without a comforting falsehood, we might be overcome with despair.

Thomas: Whoa, I hadn't thought of it like that.

Mila: Me neither.

Duck: Nobody likes the truth in the clear light of day, Mila. Ignorance is bliss. That's why people and engines who are lied to only get upset when they find out. But you guys,

are different. Aren't you? Mila, you're the most kindest cat person on earth, and Thomas is always willing to be really useful.

Mila: Well, I don't know about that...

Thomas: *chuckles nervously* If I make a correction, Duck. You know I do play tricks on the other engines who are not used to them. But I mean, I'm still interested in you.

Tam-Tam: Thomas, we can't be coy about this... I... have feelings for you and Mila. Strong feelings, heart feelings. Romantic feelings! Listen to me babble. I can't stop. I really CAN'T STOP!

Mila: Well, we don't want you to stop.

Tam-Tam: Thomas, I think I could use one of your world-famous hugs right now. Any place we could go that's a little more... private?

Thomas: Of course... but if you're bang me, PLEASE use a condom. I don't want half-engine, half-lizard octuplets running all over me.

Tam-Tam: Alright.

*Scene changes to Thomas in a small bunker under the deck, with Tam-Tam. Tam-Tam strokes Thomas' chin.*

Tam-Tam: Thomas... never let me go.

Thomas: *nervously* Ummm... okay? I won't... Tam-Tam.

*Some groaning sounds are heard from under the deck. Duck, Mila and Percy are listening to it.*

Percy: You just HAD to talk Thomas into doing it, didn't you?

Mila: Hey, I didn't know.

*Scene changes to Thomas, steaming onto the deck, dizzy after his little "experience" with Tam-Tam. Darious is waiting for him.*

Darious: Thomas... Were you and Tam-Tam having a little *clears throat* heart-to-heart?

Thomas: It's what I would do, but I don't.

Darious: I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear that. You don't have to tell me all the details if they're private. All I wanted to know was if you were able

to get through to her.

Thomas: Hey, it was Mila's idea. Not mine!

Darious: No, I was hoping that you managed to communicate to her that nobody's judging her. That the crew is 100% behind her.

Thomas: Errrm... Of course, Darious. You don't have to worry about a thing.

*Just then, Gordon, James and Henry steam up, chuckling in amazement.*

Gordon: So, little Thomas. We have to ask, what was it like?

Thomas: What is what like now?

James: You know very much what we're talking about.

Thomas: I'd be a little bit more sure if you spelled it out for me.

Darious: You know they mean, Thomas. It's an odd place to be, having sought them for so long and somehow never falling under their sway...

What is it like to see yourself transform from a quiet, shunting engine to a brave, noble pirate?

Thomas: I'm not sure, Darious. When it happens, I know I could turn into anything. But you have to be brave, you know. It's a skill I've developed over time...

*Just then, Mila walks up.*

Mila: Thomas is right, cap'n. The coins said "Become what you seek" on them. Well... maybe, I'm just becoming the kind of person I was meant to be all along, We all are...

Darious: We all? Well, I don't want to sound self indulgent, but what about me?

Thomas: Don't you see, Darious? You haven't had to change, because you've been the man the world needed right from the start.

Darious: Well, that's nice of you to say, Thomas. Thanks for answering me, I know it was personal. But before we can go any further, just to clarify what happened between you and Tam-Tam... Nothing romantic took place?

Thomas: *blushes because he knows he's been beat.* Ummmm... I don't know. Maybe, so what?

Darious: She's in a vulnerable spot, Thomas. I don't think it would be appropriate for anything to happen between us, given how she feels about you. But... I do appreciate your interest nonetheless.

Thomas: Ummm... sure. I guess? Anyways, me and Mila have got to get back on the deck. We need to sweep the walks.

Mila: Oh... yeah... right. Thanks for reminding me.

Thomas: Catch ya later, Darious.

Darious: You too.

*Thomas and Mila make their way back up to the deck. As they make their way out, James steams up with a small microchip in his hand.*

James: Thomas! Mila! I found this hidden under the coal inside my tender! It's a microchip one of us formerly used.

Thomas: Wow, what does it do?

James: Do you realise that this chip can be inserted into a GPS that can enter into someone's brain that...

*But before, James could reply. Percy steams up to the trio.*

Percy: Or it could be inserted into the mouth manually, and digest it. So we can battle hunger and taste good.

Thomas: Wait... Percy.

*But Percy ends up swallowing the microchip.*

James: Ohhh... man.

Thomas: Tell me you just didn't eat that f**king...

Percy: Hey, James said it was a chip. So where's the ketchup? Or am I looking at him?

James: OOOOOH! You did not even just do that! *chuckles* You are so dead! OOOH NO, you didn't! *laughs* Oh my God!

Thomas: Yeah... right.

*Later, Percy is sitting on a bucket. Mila gives him a drink in a beer mug.*

Mila: Alright, drink this.

Percy: I'm not thirsty.

Mila: I said drink it.

Percy: Well, what is it?

Mila: It's a mixture of mustard, vinegar and oyster sauce.

Percy: Oyster sauce, oh hell yeah!

Mila: You see that chip you ate. It's coming out of you, one way or another.

*Percy drinks the mixture.*

Percy: A little weak but you can fix that up a little half and half. But it was cool, so give me another.

*James steams up, quite jealous.*

James: I get it, they badmouthed you and they make delicious sugary energy shakes. And I open my mouth in a helpful way and I get slapped. We must be in topsy-turvy world.

*Just then, Thomas arrives with another drink for Percy.*

Thomas: Here's another, Percy. And I think I may have peed in this one.

James: NO WAY!

*James yoinks the drink out of Thomas' hands.*

Thomas: James! Wait, what are you doing?

James: I am now in training. *drinks the mixture.* It's kinda fruity when you...

*James vomits over Thomas, Percy and Mila. Percy covers the bucket over his face to stop James from puking on him. James stops vomiting, the others take a closer look to see if he has. But then he vomits

again!*

James: *groans* Yeah... that was GOOD! *coughs* My teeth feel goody! And I'm gonna drink some water.

*James steams off to drink some water and Thomas follows. Percy sits back on the bucket.*

Percy: Well, not bad. Get some of that in a keg. That body needs nutrients...

Mila: ...and Thomas needs that chip, Percy. One way... or the other.

Percy: Oh, okay. Fecal matter. Stool sample.

Mila: Don't talk about it, just do it.

Percy: Well, I don't do it, Mila. Like most engines, My body consumes all waste material. It's like the Thunderdome in here. Only, two men enter... no man leaves. Rated R.

Mila: *stunned* No!

Percy: Starring Mel Gibson, and Tina Turner.

Mila: Are you serious?!

Percy: Yep.

Mila: You don't...

Percy: Don't what?

Mila: Uuuhh...

Percy: Come on.

Mila: You... you know...

Percy: Look, Mila. We're all adults here. You can say it. I promise I won't laugh.

Mila: Uh, poop?

Percy: YOU SAID POOP!!

*Percy calls out to James from the forecastle.*

Percy: Hey James, Mila said poop out here!

James: Poop! *laughs before he vomits again.* Poop!

*Just then, Tam-Tam calls from the bottom deck.*

Tam-Tam: Hey, Thomas! Are you up here? Are you feeling, you know, in the mood again? *notices the vomit that James has made.* Ohhh... I'll see myself out.

*End of Scene 7*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 8:

*Scene changes to the Sodor search party at Bury Bolton Street Station on the East Lancashire Railway.*

Narrator: The next morning, me and Diesel's search party were staying at the East Lancashire Railway whilst on our big search party tour.

*The Sodor Engines are sitting at the platforms of Bury Bolton Street talking to Jimmy the Jinty No. 47324, Lanky the Class 27 No. 52322, Belson the Class 28 Co-Bo Diesel No. D5705 and

Gothenburg the MSC 0-6-0T Engine.*

Joey: ...and so that's how it's been. So you see, Jimmy. We've travelled a LONG way to find our friends who've been lost at sea.

Jimmy: Yes, I can see that. But how do you know where they are in the UK?

Diesel: That's easy. They're sailing on the Bristol Channel, Joey's homeplace is right near that sea.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): It's going to be a very long railtrip but it'll be worth it.

Belson: Quite so, sir. But, brother... are you really sure you want to go out on the main line again? Us Metrovicks aren't as popular as we used to be.

BoCo: Oh, we'll be alright, Belson. It's only South West England they've gone to.

Belson: I suppose.

Lanky: I'm worried for my cousin, James. I hope he's doing alright, I shouldn't like to see his paint grubby.

Amy: I don't think anyone does, Lanky. But we're doing our best.

Sandy: We've tackled long trips like this before. We can definitely do it again!

Gothenburg: Well then, good luck if you need it.

Sandy: Couldn't agree more myself, Gothenburg.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Well then, thank you for letting us stay the night. We have to be on our way.

Joey: Oh, yes. Thanks for all your needs, guys. Really appreciate it.

Jimmy: Don't mention it.

Gothenburg: Happy to help.

Belson: Be good!

*The search party depart for their next destination on finding the Steam Team.*

Diesel: So, Joey. If we can't find the steamies, what will be the last place we'll look before we give up hope?

Joey: I say we should look into Dartmouth. The engines there still need help with their work done.

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Quite right, Joey. *turns to the other engines.* Alright, you lot. Get your pistons pumping and boilers bubbling. We've got some steam engines to find!

*The search party makes it way down the line in hopes to search for the Steam Team. Meanwhile, The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates have arrived at a library in Woolacombe.*

Narrator: Meanwhile, the engines and pirates had arrived at a library in Woolacombe, to find the eighth and final coin...

Percy: *whispering* Darious, are you sure this is the right place?

Darious: Trust me, Percy. I gurantee this is where the next coin is.

James: *whispering* And hopefully, the last.

*Just then, a shark librarian walks out.*

Librarian: Hello, noble merchants. I'm Indigo Jack. Welcome to the Library of Forbidden Knowledge. Try not to mess up any of the books.

Morgana: *whispering* We're not here for books. We're here for the treasure.

Thomas: *whispering* Shut it, Morgana. *turns to Indigo Jack.* Do you have any books based around me and my home?

Indigo Jack: Ah, you must be the Thomas of the Rev. Awdry's famous stories. I'm sorry to say this but... I currently don't have any in stock right now.

Thomas: *whispering* Oh... alright. But we're really here for this treasure, you see...

Indigo Jack: The treasure? Doesn't ring a bell.

*Toby quietly steams forward.*

Toby: *whispering* I'm ready and willing to ring my bell, if that's what it takes to jog your memory.

Morgana: *whispering* Or bash your skull in, if that doesn't do it.

Thomas: *whispering* Morgana, you're not helping.

Brock: *whispering* or, bash your skull in, if...

Thomas: *whispering* And you shut up too.

Brock: *whispering* Yeah, but we should repeat ourselves so he knows we're being serious.

Mila: *whispering* We're not going to hurt this poor man. Three of you, stop it or I'LL be the one bashing YOUR skulls in.

*Thomas, Brock and Morgana keep unusually quiet after hearing this.*

Indigo Jack: I think your little friends both have a lot to learn about how to behave in a library, especially a forbidden one.

Brock: *whispering* Why's it called that?

Darious: Presumably, someone doesn't want us to know about it.

Toby: *whispering* Uh... who?

Darious: That is a surprisingly insightful question, Toby.

Indigo Jack: I haven't the slightest clue. Now, if you're interested in a good book, you're more than welcome here...

Thomas: *whispering* But you don't have ANY books based around me or my friends, so I can't be interested in any books you own.

Darious: We'll certainly take you up on your offer. What would you recommend?

Indigo Jack: I've got just the right book for you. But, before you dive into it, there's someone here who's just dying to meet you.

Thomas: *whispering* Who's that then?

*Just then, a distinguised gentleman walks forward.*

Thomas: *whispering* Is that... Rourkie?

Morgana: *whispering* He looks a little different, but that's him alright.

Brock: *whispering* Boss, you're alive? But, he said...

Gentleman: Please, Mila, Thomas, all of you... rest easy. I'm not Rourkie, okay.

Thomas: *whispering* What?

*Just then, the others hear a familiar voice.*

Voice: Darious, my friend... please hear him out.

*And suddenly, who should walk into view but Luprand! Alongside him is Mary.*

Thomas: *whispering* Oh... hello Luprand... Mary.

Gentleman: I see you've taken a great liking to my steward here. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lazerby. I died many years ago... but I remained a spirit, kept

alive only by the magic of the coins. When Rourkie attempted to desecrate my home and destroy me. I took him as my host.

Thomas: *whispering* Your... host?

Lazerby: In other words, I took possession of his body. Then I took possession of his ship. How fortunate that he was also hunting the coins.

Thomas: *normal voice.* Oh my!

Librarian (not seen): Shhhh! This is a library!

Thomas: *whispering* Oh... sorry.

Lazerby: Anyways, Darious. Between the two of us, I believe we've managed to find them all. You know what that means, don't you?

Darious: Why don't you tell me what you think it means?

Lazerby: Still skeptical, eh? Luprand said that you would be. He spoke so highly about your ability to command. It's a pity we never had a chance to serve together...

Darious: Did he also tell you I don't respond well to flattery?

Lazerby: Oh, please, Darious, spare me.

Darious: Fine, fine, let's just say I believe you. What do you want, then?

Lazerby: I want us all to finish this mission together. One coin remakes an individual, all of them remake the world. Isn't that right?

*But before Darious could reply, Thomas intervenes.*

Thomas: *whispering* Sorry if I may interrupt, Mr. Lazerby, sir. But there's been some misunderstanding. The Steam Team made a deal that we'd help the Dread Pirates find

their missing coins, so they can help us back to our own homeland ALL the way back in the Island of Sodor, Northwest England. But so far, I've seen NO trace of the Dread Pirates making us go home.

It's like.... erm... Darious wants the Steam Team to become members of the Dread Pirates PERMANENTLY.

Darious: I don't see how any of this is true, Thomas.

Thomas: *whispering* But what do you want to use the coins for? What kind of world do you want to make?

Lazerby: Well, Thomas. I've wanted to eliminate death.

Thomas: *whispering* What... why?

Lazerby: Death is our greatest enemy, Thomas. It's already taken one of your friends, isn't that right?

Thomas: *whispering* Not the Steam Team, no. But it did take Leeko.

Lazerby: But it will eventually take us all, as it took everyone that I ever loved.

Thomas: *whispering* Oh... but us really useful engines can live forever if we're careful.

Gordon: *whispering* So what? Everyone dies?

Lazerby: That's just it, Gordon. We all accept that, don't we? Well, what if nobody ever had to die?

Gordon: *whispering* People will still get old and sickly and they'll just be skeletons by then. Are you going to remake the world and cure all frailties and mortality?

Percy: *whispering* And what about the overpopulation? Surely, the world cannot hold and feed an infinity.

Lazerby: Don't worry about any of those *clears throat* mechanistic concerns, Gordon and Percy. I've got it all worked out.

Holly: *whispering* The fact that you're trying to sound confident makes us suspicious that there's some big problem you're hiding.

Lazerby: As I explained earlier, Holly. I was able to use the coins to prevent my own death. I instead became a spirit, and then I was able to take the body of Rourkie, so that

I may stand before you today. It's an extraordinary journey, isn't it? But... what if it wasn't quite so special? What if everyone could do what I did?

Thomas: *whispering* I don't know... But there's still one thing that troubles me... The way you took Rourkie's body, Is he... is he... dead?

Lazerby: Well, as a living thing, yes. But he's still alive as a spirit. He's currently haunting the entire South West England from what I know.

*Scene cuts to cutaway of Rourkie, as a ghost, floating sadly through the sky. He stops as he meets the Flying Dutchman.*

Flying Dutchman: First time?

*Scene cuts back to the gang in the library.*

Brock: *whispering* Boss, you're not making any sense.

Lazerby: Allow me to explain, my friend. In my new world... whenever anyone dies, they'll become a ghost. Then they'll float around and find a new host... Or in worst case scenarios,

hijack the new host of its original body.

James: *whispering* A new host? From where?

Lazerby: A baby or a young child would be an easy choice, given how much life they have ahead of them. All the ghosts' memories will be intact, They're life will carry on.

Thomas: *whispering* So... if I give an example, my driver Joey is a cartoonist. So if he was reincarnated as a baby born in Japan, he'd grow up and reproduce my series in anime style, right?

Lazerby: That's right, and death will be vanquished.

Mila: *whispering* But what about the life of the baby? If they are possessed, doesn't that mean they don't get to live their own life?

Lazerby: Well, as a baby, they won't really understand what it's like to have a will. So they'll never miss not having it.

Mila: *whispering* So there never get to be any new people? Just the same old souls, stealing body after body after body, for all time?

Lazerby: Are you really going to prioritize the needs of crying little babies over the needs of the frowning people who you've learned to love?

Mila: *whispering* Well, If I ever have children, I know I'll love them and I want them to have their own lives and NOT just to be spare bodies for whoever happens to die near them.

Henry: *whispering* Hey, Mila. If you really want to make a baby, I'm always...

Mila: *whispering* No, Henry. We're not...

Darious: I have to agree with Mila, on what she said about kids having lives. Luprand, I'm surprised at you for going along with this. Are you so afraid of death that you'd really think this was the answer?

Luprand: Well, you see... Darious, if you think about it from another perspective...

Lazerby: Oh, save your breath. These short-sighted fools aren't going for it. You people never let me do things the easy way, do you?

Thomas: *whispering* You're right, sir. Our lives have been about doing the things the hard way. Regretfully, that means I'm going to have my crew take your coins away from you.

*Suddenly the gang notice Luprand, Lazerby and Mary have gone.*

Thomas: *whispering* Hey! Where did they go?

*Meanwhile, outside the library, Lazerby, Luprand and Mary have made a runner using another coin.*

Lazerby: Quick, Luprand and Mary! They're distracted, now let's go!

*Just then, Mila notices them running away, through the window.*

Mila: *whispering* They snuck out whilst we were distracted by you.

Thomas: *whispering* Not to worry, guys. Hold onto me. I've managed to find my special emergancy stash of gold dust.

Darious: Gold what?

Thomas: *whispering* Gold dust, but I haven't got enough to take us all back to Sodor, which we should've done in the first place. But we might still be able to stop Lazerby.

*The other engines buffer up to Thomas and the Dread Pirates, along with Indigo Jack, clamber into his cab.*

Morgana: *whispering* I don't see how THAT'S going to work.

Thomas: *whispering* Trust me, Morgana. It will. Sorry, Indigo Jack, sir. I'm going to have to make a little noise because we're in a hurry and have to leave in an unusual way.

Indigo Jack: No problem at all, young tank engine.

Thomas: Here goes...

*Thomas blows his whistle and in an instant, He, The Steam Team, the Dread Pirates and Indigo Jack vanish in a cloud of gold dust.*

Librarian (not seen): Shhhh! This is a library!

*Meanwhile, Lazerby, Luprand and Mary have a gone a few feet away from the library.*

Lazerby: I think we lost them, Luprand.

Luprand: I still don't think this was a good idea, Lazerby. Darious is a friend of mine, you know.

Mary: He won't need friends where he's going.

*Just then, Thomas and the crew suddenly appear in a cloud of gold dust, right behind Lazerby, Luprand and Mary.*

Thomas: Where do you think YOU'RE going? Now GIVE US THOSE COINS!

Lazerby: You don't even know where you are, do you? Librarian, trap these meddlesome idiots inside one of your books.

Indigo Jack: Even if I helped you, wouldn't you just kill me anyway?

Lazerby: Yeah... you're right.

*Lazerby gets a gun out from his waistcoat and shoots Indigo Jack.*

Morgana: You're not so different from Rourkie after all, are you?

Lazerby: Based on the location of the wound... I estimate you have about 20 minutes, You only have two options here... One, you can all lay down and die, or two, you can do

as I ask. Trap them inside a book, I'll help myself to the coins on your ship and I'll have them all. And then, as I so paitently explained, I'll eliminate death.

Thomas: NO GOD DAMN WAY!

*Indigo Jack struggles to stay alive.*

Indigo Jack: I won't... *groans* have to die?

Lazerby: Of course not. You'll turn into a ghost. And you'll get to possess someone's body, just as I have.

Indigo Jack: Whose?

Lazerby: Take one of their bodies, if any of them survive the trials of the book. *turns to Mila and Thomas.* Mila J. Volkenfox and Thomas T. Tank Engine... they look delicious,

don't they. I wouldn't mind living in one of them. Well, of course, it's your decision. *turns to Thomas.* And you won't win, because I'm the best than any of you silly pirates put together.

Thomas: What do you mean YOU?

Lazerby: I told you, steamboy. I'm the best!

*singing* Now I know why you've come here

Before you have your say

You've come to nick my treasure

That makes your only day.

But let me tell you something,

and it won't be the same...

'Cos you and all your pals are really lame.

Just take a look at me, I'm a skilled pirate I am.

But when you try and cross me, you'll all be in a jam.

I seek to find that treasure, and hunting is my game.

and everybody knows that Lazerby's my name.

Luprand and Mary: *singing* He's the best! (Lazerby: *speaking* That's me!) He's the best! (Lazerby: *speaking* That indeed!)

Lazerby: *singing* I get to put my hunting to the test!

Luprand and Mary: *singing* He's the best! He's the best!

Lazerby: *singing* I won't stop 'til the others are at rest. *chuckles*

Thomas: That's not true, you're a bully, a liar AND a deceiver.

Lazerby: *laughs* Well, we'll see about that, young tank engine.

*singing* You think you're really clever.

And find me to debunk.

But you're not able to top me

and your plans will be sunk

For I'm a true adventurer

As you can plainly see...

That all your hopes and dreams are lost at sea.

Just look at you, what are you? A steam-fueled handicap

You're not the kind we need here, you're perfect to be scrapped.

I know I'm not being friendly, but there's no need for backlash.

As you're the ones who're all making a great big splash!

Luprand and Mary: *singing* He's the best! (Lazerby: *speaking* That is true!) He's the best! (Lazerby: *speaking* You got it!)

Lazerby: *singing* You might just go and scramble to your nest.

Luprand and Mary: *singing* He's the best! He's the best!

Lazerby: *singing* 'Cos you're boycotting our one and only quest.

Mila: Oh, he's really doing my bowels in!

Percy: He's a disgrace to the whole universe.

Thomas: Now step aside, friends. Let a really useful engine handle this.

*singing* Now listen here, rookie.

You're spoiling all our fun.

Your crew, they won't be messin'

'cos we are number one.

Now we wouldn't hurt a pirate

'cos we are really tame.

But we'll soon be putting you down to shame.

Mila: *singing* Thomas is really special,

and he feels just like a friend.

Percy: *singing* But from the likes of you guys.

Your life will be at end.

Darious: *singing* You'll speak when you're spoken.

Your days will be at heck

James: *singing* For you guys will be under your own blummin' shipwreck!

Lazerby: *singing* But I'm the best! (Luprand and Mary: *speaking* He's the best!) I'm the best! (Luprand and Mary: *speaking* He's the best!)

Thomas: *singing* Look at you, you don't even wear a vest! *speaking* Whereas look at me!

Dread Pirates and Steam Team: *singing* He's the best! (Thomas: *speaking* I'm the best) He's the best! (Thomas: *speaking* Than the rest!)

Thomas: *singing* So clear off, you filthy stinkin' pests! *speaking* There's no stopping the really useful engines now.

Lazerby: Okay, you made your point. Indigo, you can have Thomas' body once we send him and his friends to the trial.

Indigo Jack: Alright... you got a deal.

Darious: Indigo, wait!!

*Indigo Jack opens up a book which reveals a vortex, that sucks The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates in. Scene changes to the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates waking up to find

they're marooned on a lava platform.*

Thomas: Ugh, where the hell are we?

Tam-Tam: Are we dead... and in Hell? I've always believe in reincarnation, but... but...

Duck: Well, that would explain the lake of lava down there.

Chloe: WE'RE GONNA DIE! WE NEVER EVEN GOT THE CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE!

Percy: Joey and the others will be really worried sick about us!

Darious: Now, now, everyone. Clearly we're inside a book of some kind. I believe Lazerby called it a "trial"?

James: A trial? Not like those famous Rainhill trials I've heard about.

Edward: No... but he also said that we might NOT survive it. So the fact that it isn't real doesn't make it sound any less deadly.

Chloe: AND WE'RE GONNA DIE!!

Morgana: I think that's fairly obvious, you t**t!

*Suddenly the ground crumbles beneath the crew.*

Douglas: Ach, what was that?

Darious: Is it just me, or are we getting closer to the lava?

Thomas: I think we are! There's gotta be some way out of this. Isn't there a rope swing or a ladder or something to climb at least SOMEWHERE?!

Brock: Morgana, you've got wings. Maybe you could fly us to safety.

Morgana: With this weight, I can't even get myself into the air, let alone carry at least one engine.

Brock: Oh, I had no idea you were so... heavy.

Morgana: Really? You had no idea? You really are as stupid as everyone says, aren't you?

*Suddenly the ground crumbles even further.*

Rosie: It's definitely getting closer!

Morgana: Thanks, Little Miss Obvious!

Darious: We've got to think of something quickly, the rate of descent appears to be accelerating!

Percy: I'm not ready to die! There's so many things in life that I haven't gotten to do.

*Scene cuts to cutaway of Percy in an office booth, answering a phone.*

Percy: Hang on, I'll transfer your call.

*Scene cuts back to the gang on the lava platform.*

Darious: I don't want to die before completing our mission...

Gordon: We might've finished our goddamn mission if we killed Rourkie when we had the chance! Darious, what were you thinking?

Tam-Tam: You want to second-guess the captain? As far as I'm concerned, the only mistake he ever made was bringing you engines on board!

*The engines all wheesh steam in offence.*

Henry: Given the dire circumstances, I certainly don't appreciate this level of inconsiderate acrimony...

Mila: STOP IT, ALL OF YOU! By the look of things, we're all going to be dead in less than a minute!

Thomas: Mila's right. We're more than likely to be Dead Pirates than Dread Pirates! If we're going to die together, let's at least do it with some peace and dignity.

Brock: How could we do that?

Thomas: Well... we could let our last few seconds be a moment of silence, at least.

*Suddenly, as the entire crew keep quiet. The platform stops sinking.*

Brock: Hey look, nothing's happening! We're not getting any closer!

Mila: Hmmm... I have a hunch. I mean, what if the book isn't trying to kill us? Maybe it's just trying to teach us a lesson of some kind?

Thomas: What lesson would that be, Mila? The pillar seemed to be moving at random.

Darious: So, it's possible that the apparent connection was merely coincidental.

James: Or maybe, just maybe... there was no connection at all.

Morgana: That's what coincidence means, you idiot.

*Suddenly the pillar sinks a little further.*

Thomas: Wait! That's it! We started sinking when you insulted Brock!

Morgana: So what?

Thomas: Well, it sank when you insulted him before, too...

Brock: I think I see where we're going with this. If we don't want to die, all you have to do is not insult me ever, no matter what.

Thomas: Ummmm... Brock, that's not what I had in...

Brock: No, no, no, Thomas. Don't worry! I'm willing to bear that burden for the sake of the crew.

Morgana: Brock, you...

Thomas: MORGANA, NO!

Morgana: You weren't serious about that, were you?

Gordon: Thomas may be on to something. When we were sinking before, we were being pretty ill-tempered and given how close we are to the lava, we can't afford to

test his hypothesis any further.

Morgana: Fine, No. 4.

Darious: Just concentrate on other things, Morgana. Pretend he isn't here.

Morgana: Mmm... I wish this pretending never had to end.

Darious: Got it? Nobody insult Brock.

Brock: Yes indeed.

Darious: Or anyone else, for that matter.

Brock: Awww...

Edward: It seems like it's working! We're not sinking!

Mila: But we're not any closer to safety, aren't we, Edward? Aren't we just... stuck here?

Tam-Tam: We're not sinking anymore, but how are we going to get out of here?

Thomas: That's easy! Use reverse psychology.

*Suddenly, the platform starts rising.*

Brock: Hey, we're going up! How'd that happen?

Thomas: How should I know, all I said was use reverse psychology and...

Duck: Well, let's test that reverse psycho-thingy as I would put it. Mila, Thomas, what should we do? Any ideas?

Mila: I... don't know.

Darious: Maybe we said it wrong. Thomas, what did you say exactly?

Thomas: I don't know... something like... me to come up with another one of my bright ideas?

*Just then, Thomas gets the idea.*

Thomas: *whistles* That's it! I knew it! It WAS reverse psychology! Compliments! Maybe if insulting causes the platform to sink. Then maybe complimenting might

make it rise! Tam-Tam, I really appreciate your interesting question.

*Just then, the platform rises again.*

Mila: Yes, Thomas! That's it!

Morgana: What the hell's happening?

Thomas: The answer's simple, Morgana. All we have to do is be nice to each other. "Friendship and Teamwork" is the railway's motto.

Morgana: You've got to be kidding me, what kind of sappy moron wrote this book?

*Suddenly the platform starts sinking again.*

Morgana: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

Mila: Everyone, follow Thomas' lead!

*So the engines and pirates all compliment on each other. Whilst they're doing so, the platform starts rising higher and higher.*

Thomas: It's working, guys! It's working! Oh, boy! I can't WAIT to wipe that grin off that Lazerby's face!

Mila: Now, we've got to try and stay calm. Don't do anything rash once we get back into... oh... too late.

*The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates get sucked into a vortex that sends them back home. Meanwhile, Lazerby, Luprand and Mary are sitting on a hillside near the cliffs,

watching the clouds float by.*

Mary: So... you think these guys are dead now?

Luprand: Not that I know of.

*Suddenly, a familiar whistle sounds in the backdrop.*

Lazerby: Wait... what's that noise?

*Suddenly the book mysteriously opens by itself and Thomas steams out of it via a vortex.*

Thomas: HERE COMES THOMAS!!!

Lazerby: WHAT THE? HOW'D YOU ESCAPE?! No matter. I'll just get the librarian to put you in another book.

Thomas: I'll pass, sir. I've never been much a book person like I used to be. Now guns, swords and other weaponry, on the other hand... or buffer,

take your pick, those I just love and so do my friends.

Lazerby: What friends?

Thomas: *gets out gun.* You'll find out soon enough!

*Thomas opens fire on Lazerby.*

Mila: *still inside the book* Thomas! You shot him?

Thomas: What? I did a great job, didn't I?

Percy: *still inside the book* Maybe not... he's getting up!

*Lazerby stands up to reveal he's a powerful demon.*

Lazerby: YOU PITIFUL FOOLS! YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME?! I AM IMMORTAL!!!!

Thomas: Really? Let's test that hypothesis! Steam Team, Dread Pirates! ATTACK!

*The Steam Team and the Dread Pirates race out of the book with swords and guns in their hands. Lazerby, Luprand and Mary attempt to attack but Thomas and the engines strike first,

Percy and Morgana kick Mary, Gordon and Darious punch Luprand and Thomas and Mila strike Lazerby with their daggers.*

Lazerby: Agh! No! NOO! NOOOOOOOOO!

*Lazerby disappears in a cloud of dust.*

Thomas: That leaves just two enemies left to deal with. Luprand, Mary, GET YOUR ASSES OUT HERE WHEREVER YOU ARE!

*Luprand and Mary come out from hiding the bushes, surrendering.*

Luprand: Oh, please... PLEASE don't hurt us!

Mary: Yeah... we don't mean no harm.

Brock: Why shouldn't we?

Darious: Luprand, look how far you've sunk. Crying and begging for your life. You were once my closest friend. You could've served at my side, joined me in triumph.

Percy: Yeah, Luprand. Why?

Luprand: Oh... Darious... I... forgive me... I just wanted to be powerful, respected and wealthy. I thought if I served Lazerby loyally, then...

Edward: You were willing to have us all die so you could have money and glory?

Luprand: Before we shot him, the librarian said to place all the coins in this orb. I'll give you all the coin we managed to get. Just... please... leave me be...

*Luprand hands Thomas the last coin and an orb.*

Thomas: Now get out of our sight, you disgraceful little brutes.

*Luprand and Mary run off, leaving the engines and pirates satisfied. Scene changes to back at the ship with the engines and pirates, organising the coins and the orb.*

Percy: Well, that was a fortnight to remember, wasn't it?

James: Where's Thomas?

*Just then, Thomas steams back to the ship.*

Thomas: Sorry, I was late. I found a local restaurant that has free Wi-Fi, and I got a text from Joey. He says the search party has gathered at Dartmouth but they say we still haven't arrived.

So I've justed texted him to say our great pirate adventure is nearing completion and we'll be at Dartmouth in a couple of days.

Darious: Excellent. But I still don't know what disgusts me more. Luprand's treacherous lies or the petty motiviations behind them.

Thomas: Probably a bit of both, sir.

Mila: Well, I think the worst part is... Anyone can want wealth, but it takes a special kind of evil to betray a friend over it.

Morgana: Yeah, as soon as Rourkie showed up, I half expected you to stab us in the back, Brock.

Percy: Aside from Darious, nobody here, not even me, trusts you, Morgana.

Thomas: *whistles* Alright, we get it! We all just went through a terrible ordeal, which we only survived by proving our trust and loyalty towards one another. The Dread Pirates

still need to learn that but us engines of the Steam Team know it's our golden rule, don't we?

*The other engines agree.*

Darious: Thomas is right, That can't last more than a moment or two, can't it?

Mila: Well, you know what the problem is, Thomas?

Thomas: Clearly, no, Mila, Why don't you enlighten us?

Mila: We were forced to be kind to each other because otherwise, we were ALL going to die. Not to mention, Tam-Tam, Duck, Donald or any other engines were forced

to be honest because of the coins. Left to their own devices, people felt free to lie, to trick, to deceive one another. That's why trust is so hard to build, people constantly lie.

Thomas: You're right, Mila. Distrust appears to be endemic, look at Luprand... Once Darious' closest friend, he didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth about Lazerby when we visited him.

If he'd merely spoke the truth, both Lazerby and Indigo Jack would still be alive.

Darious: The world is choking on a ton of lies, Thomas.

Mila: Then there's only one solution, isn't there? End it all, End lying and create a world where we can all trust each other.

Thomas: Are you serious? Is that even possible?

Mila: Sure is.

Tam-Tam: I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Mila. Do you really want to know what's going on in everyone's head, like all the time?

Thomas: Trust is the first step towards respect, Tam-Tam. We ALL have to respect each other to get along, don't we?

Darious: I heartily agree. Mila, Thomas... the world is waiting. You know what you must do.

Thomas: Very well, sir. Come on, Mila. We've got work to do.

Mila: On it, Thomas.

*Thomas and Mila put the coins in the orb, the orb begins to shine right in front of their eyes.*

Narrator: With the end of lying came the end of cheating, stealing, scheming and betrayal. Thomas and Mila were forced to cooperate, forced to accept each

other for who they were. But the engines and pirates were also forced to reckon with that which was best left unsaid, such as hurtful thoughts in the heat of the moment,

or inappropriate thoughts at inopportune times. Privacy of thought ceased to exist and everyone was equally embarrassed about it...

*The screen turns to black, only to reveal the orb had just gone out.*

Thomas: That's it... that was the quest?

Mila: That was just a lazy excuse to rid the world of lying and deceiving.

Edward: Perhaps lies were best to be made after all.

Darious: But the most important thing is, we all did this together. Our lifelong mission is complete and it's all thanks to you, Thomas, and all your engine friends. Without you lot,

none of this would've been possible.

Morgana: You know... he's right. I was wrong about you, No. 1. Maybe you are a good pirate.

Tam-Tam: And a heroic engine.

Mila: But most importantly, a good friend.

Thomas: *smiles broadly.* Thanks, Mila. You too.

*Thomas wraps his arms around Mila and gives her a hug. Just then, a sort of glow happens around Mila's body.*

Mila: Whoa... what's happening?

Percy: Something's changing about you...

Darious: You're... transforming...

*Thomas, the Steam Team and the Dread Pirates watch in astonishment as Mila's body changes. Now she's no longer a cat...*

Thomas: Mila... You're not a cat anymore. You're... an engine!

*Mila turns back to see what happened to her. Sure enough, she has now transformed into a tank engine. A Manning Wardle-type Class to be exact.*

Mila: What the-? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME? I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE FREAK SHOW!

Thomas: I think the strong bond between us must've transformed you into an engine.

Mila: You did this, Thomas! You've made me one of you! I can't go sailing the seven seas looking like this!

*Thomas steams behind Mila.*

Thomas: Don't feel bad, Mila. You look great as an engine. I mean, you've got a regulator, a reverser, a whistle chain, brake throttles...

Mila: Yeah, but where's the lever that drives me to the next lawyer? SO I CAN SUE THE PANTS OFF OF YOU!

Thomas: Hey, hey! I'm just trying to be a friendly sort, Mila. But as you and the others did promise you'd take us home, I can't really help you with that. You take care now!

*Thomas steams onto the ship and the other engines follow pursuit, Mila and the Dread Pirates attempt to follow but the entrance to the ship has been taken off.*

Mila: Now where do you think YOU'RE going?

Thomas: Where'd you think we're going? Dartmouth, of course.

Mila: BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME WITH WHEELS FOR LEGS AND BUFFERS FOR ARMS!

Thomas: Hey, don't give me that look. You'll do perfect with a bunch of merry misfits.

Morgana: Merry misfits?! That rude little tank engine! He messed with the wrong pirates!

Darious: Thomas, I demand an explanation!

Brock: Why would you do this to us?!

Tam-Tam: You can't leave us here!

Thomas: I can and I will! Chloe, hoist the anchors! Bertha, rig the sails! All Steam Team Engines to deck! Next stop, Dartmouth! *turns to the very furious Dread Pirates.* Adios, motherf**kers!

*The ship departs from Woolacombe, leaving the Dread Pirates angrily shouting and shaking their fists. Thomas, Percy and James watch them in the distance.*

Thomas: Oh look, they're waving goodbye to us!

Percy: Oh, that's nice!

James: *waves back.* Ta-ta!

*Thomas, Percy and James go back on deck laughing at their insult. Edward steams up to them.*

Edward: Now then, you three. That wasn't very nice. We should go back and apologise to them immediately.

Thomas: *scoffs* What? ...And become part of their crew forever? Edward, they're PIRATES! We're not risking our lives to steal stuff from others. You wouldn't do that either, would you?

Edward: Hmmm... now that you mentioned it. You're right, I guess we should leave them until they learn. They'll find a way back eventually.

*Thomas eventually mans the ship's wheel.*

Thomas: Now then, engines. ONWARDS TO DARTMOUTH!

Steam Team: Ay-ay, captain Thomas!

*The engines all whistle and cheer in delight as their ship sets sail on course for Dartmouth. Scene changes to a map of the ship sailing to Dartmouth around the same time

the search party is heading towards the same area.*

Narrator: Eventually, after a long, long voyage and a couple of days later. The engines made their way, safe and sound into Kingswear Station on the Dartmouth Steam Railway.

*Scene changes to the ship sailing into Kingswear Harbour. Percy suddenly points to Thomas.*

Percy: Thomas! Look!

*Thomas turns to see, the Sodor search party and the Dartmouth all whistling and cheering under a big banner that says "WELCOME BACK, THOMAS & FRIENDS!".

Thomas docks the boat into port and the engines all disembark. Joey, Diesel and The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt) all rush over to greet them. Joey throws his arms

around Thomas and hugs him.*

Joey: Thomas! Oh my goodness, we were so worried sick! I'm so GLAD you've made it back alive!

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): We heard everything, Thomas. Being lost at sea must've been very frightening for you.

Diesel: That was really cool, working with pirates. You must be very lucky engines.

Thomas: Thanks, guys. But I couldn't have done it without the help of my engine friends.

*The other engines look at Thomas and smile.*

The Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt): Well, then. Now that everyone's here. We'll all get the work done faster here in Dartmouth. Goliath, I want you to show the Steam Team to

your sheds.

*A GWR 5205 Class No. 5239 called Goliath steams up.*

Goliath: Consider it done, sir.

*Scene changes to the engine sheds at Dartmouth where Thomas and the Steam Team are talking about their BIG adventure.*

Narrator: And that night in the sheds, Thomas and the other engines told everyone about the greatest adventure they had with the Dread Pirates.

Thomas: So that's what it was all about. It wasn't an easy trip but we managed to get it done in the end.

Percy: Mind you, I wonder how Mila and the Dread Pirates are doing now?

Thomas: I don't know, Percy. I assume they're up to no good.

*Scene pans out from Dartmouth Sheds at night.*

*End of Scene 8*

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 9:

*Scene changes to back on the Island of Sodor where Thomas is travelling to Arlesburgh Harbour with Annie and Clarabel, he passes Mike on the way.*

Narrator: Several days later, Thomas was back on the Island of Sodor, doing all his jobs once more. He was glad that things were back to normal and hoped nothing

would stand in his way this time.

Thomas: *sighs* Such a fine day to be going to Arlesburgh Harbour. Nothing can ever go wrong on such a beautiful day. Right, Annie and Clarabel?

Annie: I couldn't agree more myself, Thomas.

Clarabel: Most certainly indeed.

*Thomas steams into Arlesburgh Harbour. But as he pulls up by the lighthouse, he hears something... familiar.*

Voice: So... THIS must be the Island of Sodor. Hello, Thomas!

*Thomas looks around and gets a very big shock! For there, standing at the harbour, right next to the lighthouse, is The

Pirate's Fate, and in front of it, Mila (who's now been turned back into a cat), Darious, Morgana (who's now finally lost weight), Tam-Tam and Brock.*

Thomas: *nervously* Oh... hi, guys! Didn't expect to see you here.

Mila: We KNEW we'd find the Island of Sodor, sooner or later.

Thomas: Well, look at you. You've finally turned yourself back into a cat, and Morgana's on a diet now.

Morgana: It was worth it, ya know.

Thomas: Yes... yes... I know. But I suppose you're hunting for treasure here now... *laughs nervously.*

Mila: Oh no... we're not hunting for treasure now... We are the Dread Pirates after all...

*The Dread Pirates get out their daggers and point them at Thomas.*

Mila: ...and WE'RE gonna finish what you started.

Thomas: Nononononononono, it's a big misunderstanding. We don't do piracy on this railway...

*Just then, Amy climbs down from Annie.*

Amy: What's going on?

Mila: This tank engine made a fool of us. Now we want to annihilate his island. But first, give us your rings.

Amy: I would give you my rings, but what you really need... is love.

*Mila suddenly drops her dagger and breaks down in tears.*

Mila: You're right... I'm sorry, what have I become?!

*Mila discards the coin around her neck and hugs Amy.*

Amy: Anyone else want to join the Female Furries?

*Darious, Morgana, Tam-Tam and Brock look at each other in angst, knowing they all have no choice. So they just shrug and eventually board Annie. Scene changes to

Thomas puffing through the countryside with his two coaches.*

Mila: You know, Thomas. Maybe the pirate's life isn't as exciting as we thought it'd be.

Thomas: You think?

Darious: Why, yes, Thomas. I don't want to be a thief anymore. I think I'll just be a fisherman, I've always loved a spot of fish and chips.

Tam-Tam: And I think your home on the Island of Sodor is very colourful.

Thomas: Well... when you live on Sodor, it's the bestest place for an engine to live.

Mila: You really think so?

Thomas: Yep, there's an old song that us engines always brighten up to, and we all know that it's great to be an pirate! *whistles*

*singing* Oh yes, it's great to be an pirate and go sailing along

Yo-ho-hoeing along, Rush, rush, rushing along.

All the cannons firing as you speed along

Yo-ho-hoeing along all day

We're all so proud to be famous pirates

And travel through the ocean waves

We're always brave when there're storms to climb-

Thomas and the Dread Pirates: *singing* No rough sea is too high!

Oh yes it's great to be an pirate as you're sailing along

Yo-ho-hoeing along, Rush, rush, rushing along.

Fly along the ocean as your sails go high

Splash, splash, splashing around all day

Mila: *singing* It doesn't matter come rain or shine,

Tam-Tam: *singing* There's always things for us to do.

Darious: *singing* And in the cold-cold wintertime

We're ready!

Morgana: *singing* When you hoist the sails and-

Brock: *singing* lift the anchor and-

Thomas and the Dread Pirates: *singing* we'll be there for you!

Oh yes it's great to be an pirate as you're sailing along

Yo-ho-hoeing along, Rush, rush, rushing along

Feel the wind around you as you push along

Yo-ho-hoeing along all day! (Thomas: One more time!)

Oh yes, it's great to be an pirate and go sailing along

Yo-ho-hoeing along, Rush, rush, rushing along

All the cannons firing as you speed along

Yo-ho-hoeing along...

Thomas: *singing* Rush, rush, rushing and a Yo-ho-hoeing along and a-

Thomas and the Dread Pirates: *singing* Sailing around all day! Arrr!

*Scene freezes on a old sheet of paper with the words "The End" above it.*

THE END