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Chapter 35: Because I Love Him

Avi stumbled after Finivive into the bright sunlight. It was high noon, and in the jungle, high noon meant the sun was unbearably bright and relentless. Already, Avi could see pygmies lounging around the village much the way the shemales had years ago. They sat in small groups outside their huts, smoking and laughing and chattering. Pygmy children - half the size of any normal child - ran back and forth chasing balls woven of grass, pulling each other's tails, and giggling in the sun, blissfully innocent of the violent and disastrous way in which they had come to be in the jungle. They only knew Avi was the last of her kind and that they must, in order to please their parents, spit on her anytime she was led forth from their queen's massive hut. So the children halted in the streets, screwed up their faces, called Avi names, and spit in her direction as she passed.

Avi looked at those children with the distant coldness of a goddess, wishing in her bitterest heart of hearts that they had never come to be. It wasn't their fault, what their parents had done to the shemales, but they would not be spitting on her if it had not happened.

Avi let her dark eyes drift from the children. Seeing those children made her think of those days - those days that seemed eons ago now - when Roriana was queen of the jungle. Roriana had always taken her duties as queen very seriously, so seriously to the point that she drilled Avi on a daily basis about what it meant to be the queen. As a result, Avi's childhood consisted of daily lessons and lectures and no time for play, until it wasn't a childhood at all, she realized, just one big and endless scolding.

But Avi loved her mother. She knew Roriana meant well, that she was only worried to the marrow of her bones that one day, somewhere along the line, a shemale queen would make one simple mistake, and by that simple mistake, end the shemale legacy. It always seemed to Avi years afterwards that her mother knew it would be her. Roriana seemed to know that Avi would be the one, the weak link in the chain.

After all, from day one, Avi had been rebellious and headstrong, a smart-ass and a wretched child. She always talked back to her mother, ran away, took lovers, and did everything in her power to make Roriana angry. Without even realizing it, Avi was trying to get back at her mother for the years of lectures, for the years of failing to just have some faith in her own daughter's abilities to one day rule.

So with the typical rage of any teenager, Avi set out to prove her mother wrong: that a shemale could be wild and independent and free and at the same, make friends with the other tribes, make love and make life. For in Avi's eyes, there was no life in the jungle. It had always seemed to her that the shemales had their orgies simply to feel alive, not because they were.

Avi was, therefore, determined to teach her mother what real life, what real love was. Love wasn't forced upon a wolf. She thought of Ryo with a pang; poor Ryo, who was destined from birth to marry the future queen and who was, thus, destined to the utter misery of Avi's daily rejection. Ryo had loved Avi, yes. But of her own freewill. This was not a love Avi could be forced to reciprocate, and Roriana didn't seem to understand the concept. Or she didn't care, teenage Avi had thought darkly.

So Avi, with a thirst for revenge, did her damnedest to rise against her mother, to prove that maybe it was time to change, that maybe change wasn't such a bad thing, that maybe other tribes weren't as barbaric and crude as Roriana always so heatedly declared. Maybe other tribes could be of some use to them. And it was with these ideas in mind that Avi, the night Kilyan and Keeno first stumbled on her shores, made her mother take prisoners instead of lives.

Roriana had wanted Kilyan and Keeno dead on sight. She had circled the sky and had spotted the pair making way in their little boat directly for the shores of the jungle. And with a blood thirst in her eyes, she had ordered the shemales to fly out to the shore and kill the strangers, kill them before they could do the tribe any harm.

Avi had been outraged. Ignoring Ryo's amusement (Ryo had always found Avi's passion to change the shemale village very endearing), she fought with her mother in the presence of the shemales, before the gathered crowd. She and her mother yelled and hissed at each other in the quick shemale tongue. The strangers had done them no harm and were unarmed, Avi had yelled. And Roriana, with a flare of her nostrils, demanded to know what Avi had been doing out in the jungle alone. Avi had smirked at her mother: as if she hadn't been venturing through the jungle alone all these years!

Ryo had stepped in and explained to Roriana that Avi had run away because they'd been arguing. Ryo had expressed once again her frustrations that Avi did not want to marry her, did not love her, and Avi, just as frustrated and angry, had fled into the jungle.

Present-day Avi smiled to herself as she staggered along after Finivive. She remembered it clearly, the first time she saw Kilyan. God, he was beautiful. She had never seen anything quite like him before: the powerful shoulders, the muscular build, the lack of curves but angles. She had crouched in the top of a tree, fascinated as the little dory rolled over the waves, bringing the sleeping wolves ever closer to the jungle.

With nimble feet, she hopped from the tree to a towering statue, and climbing atop its deep scowl, she stood on its head and kept watching the strangers drift closer, her ears pricked forward, her breasts heaving, her body on fire as she day-dreamed of Kilyan's black paws on her breasts. She had rushed back to the village with the intention of telling her friends: she had seen something beautiful, and tonight, she was going to take it! But Roriana had seen Kilyan and Keeno too, and she wanted them dead.

"But you don't understand!" Avi had growled, stamping her foot at her mother.

Roriana regarded Avi coldly for a moment, and it was in that moment that Avi realized how painfully obvious her desire for Kilyan was. She blushed furiously as her mother said, "I understand all too clearly."

Sixteen-year-old Avi had noticed out of the corner of her eye that Ryo was scowling, and with a rush of guilt, turned away. She would run to their hut, she would run up to her room, bury her face in the pillows and weep that such a beautiful and innocent thing was about to be destroyed because of her mother's wild paranoia and distrust of anything not shemale. But just as she was preparing to run, Avi heard her mother say behind her,

"Alright, my child. If you insist on taking these creatures alive, then so be it. Perhaps it will serve as a good lesson for you: anything not shemale should not be allowed to live!" And with a wild snarl, Roriana turned tail and marched into their giant hut.

Avi had not cared that her mother was angry. This was her chance to prove Roriana wrong, and not only that: this was her chance to be in the arms of that sweet, of that handsome black wolf who had looked so innocent in his slumber. She turned to the other shemales and smiled at them. Tonight, they were having their wildest of orgies yet.

And so it was that the shemales were waiting in the trees when Kilyan and Keeno washed up on their shores. They had sent one down to the sand in order to lure the strangers close. Her name had been Navisa, and she'd been a good friend of Avi's too: always laughing and joking and braiding Avi's mane for her. Navisa had been only too happy to go down to the shore, to sit on a rock and pretend to be in pain. And it was all too easy once those concerned males drew close to comfort her. It had been all too easy to have their way with them.

Present-day Avi held back a smile, wondering if Kilyan knew even now that he and Keeno had walked right into a trap.

It was to Avi's further triumph that Roriana, after looking over Keeno's body as he slept in his cage, fell helplessly in love with him. Roriana wanted Keeno then the way Avi had so desperately wanted Kilyan. Sixteen-year-old Avi had grinned in triumph at her mother, as if to say, "See? The whole world is not this awful place that you so insist it is! There are beautiful things and beautiful wolves - and some of those things are not shemale things, some of those wolves are not shemale wolves!"

It was when she fell in love with Keeno that Roriana began to change. But then it happened: Kilyan took Avi in the wedding ritual, and instead of staying to marry her, was adamant that he must leave her. Roriana had slapped Avi when she found out. Avi was supposed to marry Ryo, to have Ryo's pups, and here she was, the filthy scent of an outsider on her body! When Avi later flew into her mother's home in tears, Roriana seemed to know in an instant what had happened: Kilyan was content to fuck the princess and run. She flew to the door, obviously intent on ripping Kilyan's head off. Avi clung to her mother's arm, begging her to let Kilyan be. To Avi's horror, her mother struck her a second time. Roriana had never struck Avi before that day, not in the face. On her tail in the normal parental fashion, yes. But in the face? Roriana had whirled around in a rustle of feathers and she backslapped her daughter, slapped her to the floor and told her how stupid, how naïve she was for thinking the world such a beautiful place.

Young Avi had just sat on her tail, staring up at her mother with her mouth open, tears in her eyes.

"Now you see," Roriana had gone on, "what it is to be a shemale in this world. The shemale way is to keep others out, not let others in, because this is what happens!" She gestured at Avi's lap, at that place between her legs where the virgin blood had stained her, and Avi remembered how she colored up.

"You will probably have that creature's child now, are you happy?" Roriana had hissed. "You couldn't just listen to your mother, you had to prove her wrong. And now because of you, the very fate of my jungle teeters on the edge of a knife!"

Avi had shivered and wept. "M-Mother, please don't hurt him --"

"Why? Look what he's done to you! I should have killed him from the sky, fired arrows on him until they stuck from his skull! Are you insane? Why must you protect him --"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"

Avi remembered roaring those words. Her mother had ignored her, had gone to find Kilyan and destroy him. Avi leapt up from the floor, ran into the streets, but Ryo found her and held her back. Ryo carried her, sobbing wretchedly, home.

Thinking of Kilyan and Roriana, present-day Avi realized why she had been so blindly attracted to Kilyan: he was just like her mother! Black and commanding and so bitterly angry at the world! And yet, when you got to know Kilyan and Roriana, they were the sweetest, the tenderest wolves . . . protective and loyal and good and kind and suffering - always suffering! - because the world failed to live up to their high standards.

But Avi couldn't be like that. No, Avi wanted to find what good was in the world right at that moment - not lament its lack thereof - and spread that good like fire. If only she had been able to teach Roriana this. Perhaps the pygmies and the shemales could have then opened relations, made some sort of compromise, avoided the total devastation that later came. Or . . . perhaps the pygmies would have slaughtered them anyway, Avi thought dismally. That was the thing about trying to play the hero: you could try to change the world, but that didn't mean you would succeed.

"There you are, girl," Avi heard Finivive say in her husky voice.

Avi looked up from her dreary meditations, and from behind a lock of silver mane, she saw Finivive's pretty daughter come walking up to them, looking as guilty as if she'd run away, not been taken.

Avi looked beyond Elele and her heart leapt: Inden was being dragged through the dirt into a hut by his bound feet. His paws were bound too, and his wings flapped weakly as two pygmies dragged him away. He was so much taller now, his body bulging with tight muscles from the obvious effort he had put into his warrior training. His angry eyes drifted to Avi and he gasped just before his head disappeared behind the curtain.

Avi swallowed hard. So it was true: Wynn and Inden had been captured and brought here.

Elele stood with her head bowed and her ears back. She reeked of sex. "Mother, I can explain," she said to her feet. "It's not what you think - he just kissed me, that was all!"

"You stupid bitch," Finivive whispered. "You let yourself get abducted and - by the smell of you - fucked."

Avi stiffened when Finivive suddenly brought the folded whip hard across her daughter's face. She hit Elele so hard that the princess fell with a cry to her knees. Avi wasn't shocked when the pygmy queen kicked her daughter somewhere just below the waist, as if she was trying to hit her womb and destroy whatever child had been created the night before. Elele fell over and curled up in a ball, but her mother barked for her to unfold so that she could "check." Elele started to cry.

"Sit up, I said!" Finivive boomed, her breasts jiggling from the command. "Stop sobbing like the little bitch you are."

Elele did as she was told. Miserable and red in the face, she sat up, and as other wolves sat watching from their huts, as other wolves stood on street corners laughing at the hideous display, as children halted in the streets and watched with their mouths open, Elele miserably spread her shapely little legs. She trembled all over and sobbed as her mother knelt down with difficulty, and taking two pudgy fingers, she pressed them in her daughter's sex. Elele squeezed her eyes shut tighter as the watching wolves snickered, as children exclaimed their disgust and others laughed.

"It's broken," Finivive growled when she found her daughter's vagina now absent of that tight hymen. "He did more than kiss you - he touched you there!"

"I wasn't promised to anyone!" Elele dared to retort.

Finivive's fat face tightened with anger, and she smacked her daughter's legs closed. "Whore! Don't you talk back to me! You want your precious little bird, then fine - take him as your slave - he's already taken you! Now get out of my sight!"

Thoroughly humiliated, Elele scrambled up, and holding her trembling breasts as if to shield them from the laughter, she fled.

"Come, slave," Finivive said to Avi with a careless wave of her paw, and she waddled on.

Avi followed the pygmy queen. She knew exactly where they were going. They had gone there many times, there into those shielding trees and bushes, and in their gloom, Finivive had sat on Avi and taunted her that she was fucking her in the jungle, here in the jungle, which now belonged to Finivive, which was in better care than it ever had been before - the care of a pygmy! Finivive would laugh and she would ride Avi until Avi's dick managed some feeble ejaculation. Then Finivive would fall asleep on top of little Avi, crushing her as her snores blended with the hum of the insects.

These rapes in the gloom of the jungle had gone on for years, for Avi, with dull eyes, had given up the fight years ago. And Finivive knew it.

They passed through the village gates, and Avi remembered it in a flash, that night they dragged her through those same gates, in the cold, in the mud. Arrows were sticking out of her wings and they shook in uncontrollable spasms until feathers trailed on the air and blood sprinkled behind her. Two pygmies dragged her through those gates by the arms, and when they halted, Avi had slowly looked up into the grinning face of Finivive. She saw that nasty smile and she knew: life was over.

"Her wings," Finivive had said, "cut them off," in that backward pygmy way of talking.

Avi had gone pale. But the pygmies were only too delighted to obey. They dragged her to a hut, and the noises she made as it happened still haunted her even now. The pain of it, that heavy blade grinding through tendons and bone. She screamed for hours afterward, screamed and twitched in a pool of her own sticky blood. She fought like a mad thing any time a pygmy drew near her after that. She snapped arms out of sockets, sank her teeth without hesitating into flesh, and they beat the painful stubs on her back to subdue her.

It went on like that for months. Avi fought. They won. In the third month of her captivity, it was discovered that Avi was pregnant. She stopped fighting then, but the pygmies didn't hesitate to smack or punch her face any time she gave them an insolent look, and Finivive - taking full advantage of Avi's surrender - would come by the squalid little hut Avi was kept in and suck her dick.

Avi would sit there, her arms chained to the wall, the wall behind her stained with the blood of her severed wings, and she would wish she was dead as that hot mouth pulled her erection until it dribbled cum.

Nine months passed in this misery, and Avi gave birth. A little boy she secretly called Raxa. He had Kilyan's black fur and Roriana's fierce yellow eyes, and his ears, like Wynn's, were silver. He was a tiny bundle of soft, downy fur, cooing at his mother's breasts. Avi sat there in the dark, smiling at her baby as the moonlight shone full upon his sleepy face. She gave him her breast, though she knew he wasn't hungry, and he took it in his lips and pulled anyway. Just like his father, she thought with a smile.

Finivive came the night the child was born. Avi looked up, her ears back, terrified. She clutched the child to her tight. They would have to pry him out of her cold, dead paws. She said so in the shemale tongue, said so and spat.

"Give him to me," Finivive said quietly.

"Leave us alone," Avi whispered, her voice trembling. "Just leave us alone!"

Finivive looked at Avi heavily. She hadn't been so fat back then, but the lovely curves were beginning to build. She had also been less of a vicious monster: she stood looking at Avi with a weary face, almost as if she had come to do some filthy deed that she was deeply regretting: as if she had come to exterminate the room of bugs because no one else would do it. The present-day Finivive, however, would have taken the greatest glee in robbing Avi of her pup.

"Avi," Finivive said miserably, "I can not allow that child to live --"

"Because he would take vengeance on pygmies? Nothing more than Finivive deserve! Avi hope he grow up to slit your throat!"

Finivive's body tensed. Her eyes flashed as she repeated angrily, "Give him to me! Give him to me or I'll kill him in your arms --! Roka, get in here!"

Avi pressed her back against the wall and whimpered as a pygmy hurried in with a crossbow. He smiled grimly and aimed the bow straight at the child's left eye. At once, Avi turned to face the wall and held the child tight. She started to sob. No, no, they wouldn't kill her baby! She could hear Finivive shifting miserably from foot to foot, then the pygmy queen snapped out, "Roka - take it from her --"

"NO!"

Avi fought wildly as Roka moved in. The pygmy had put away his crossbow and managed to get a hold of the pup's neck scruff. He yanked, but Avi held on tight, wriggling and kicking and cursing Finivive and all the pygmies. The pup started to wail. Suddenly impatient, Finivive snatched Avi back by the mane and slapped her. Avi was hit so hard, she fell to the earthen floor and the baby tumbled from her grasp. She tried to scramble up and ignored it when her chains cut her, but Roka was quick. He snatched the baby and hurried outside with it.

"NO!" Avi remembered screaming as she strained against her chains. She managed to tear them from the wall and was struggling clumsily to pull herself up when, outside, the pup suddenly stopped crying. Avi fell to her face on the floor and wept.

After that day, she never spoke again.

"So what do you think, Avi?" present-day Finivive said as they passed beneath the trees. "Do you think Kilyan will make a fine mate? So many little pups I'll make with your dark lover. Hopefully boys." She laughed nastily.

Walking behind Finivive, Avi ground her teeth. They were getting far in now. The village was a great deal away, and instead of the tops of the huts, they could only make out the smoke rising from them. Avi kept quiet, as she knew Finivive fully expected her to do. She hadn't spoken a word since they killed Raxa, after all. Until this day, she had not uttered a syllable. It was as if, with Raxa's death, something died in Avi too. And there was no reason anymore to fight. There was no reason anymore to try. Except Finivive had not counted on one thing: the return of Wynn! Knowing that Wynn had been captured and would also endure this wretched existence had lit a fire in Avi's heart, and the deeper they passed into the jungle, the brighter, the hotter, the angrier that fire raged within.

"One can see why you were so enamored of him," Finivive went on. "He's not at all like a pygmy male, is he? He's tall. Handsome. Strong. He could scoop you up in his arms like a pup. And that dick. It is, of course, like no pygmy dick - or shemale dick, for that matter. He really loves you, doesn't he, Avi?" She said the last part in a low voice.

Avi said nothing and kept following, her chained paws heavy in front of her. She knew why Finivive's voice was low: Finivive was jealous. Finivive was supposed to marry Avi when they were children - or rather, that was the way the pygmies saw it. Finivive's mother brought her to the shemale village to marry Avi much the same way Finivive later brought Eleu to marry Wynn. Roriana, of course, said no to the proposal. But the damage had been done: Finivive had laid eyes on Avi and would never stop thinking of her. That's the way pygmies were. They were obsessive. Finivive had become obsessive to the point that she murdered to see her desires become reality. And now that she had everything she wanted, she was confident that she could have anything besides.

Too confident, thought Avi darkly.

They stopped beneath Finivive's favorite tree, where pink flowers and mushrooms pressed forth from the ground. Finivive knelt down like she usually did, her fat body panting as she prepared herself to be entered by Avi. Avi climbed up behind - then suddenly threw the chains linked between her paws around Finivive's neck. Finivive gagged as Avi pulled the chains tight, pulled until those stupid jewels that Finivive had murdered so many for were cutting into her fat flesh.

"You . . . would kill me . . . over a male?" Finivive gasped in disgust.

"I would."

"Why?!"

"Because I love him."

Avi suddenly yanked the chain. Finivive's neck snapped just like that. She collapsed facedown in the mud, her great rump rising like a small hill toward the tree tops. Her expression grim, Avi tore the cuffs and chains from her wrists and ankles. She threw the scraps derisively on Finivive's body, then turned for the village.

She was back.