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Wishful Thinking

By Televassi

"Hey, we're closing in ten!" Atali called out, in lieu of any automated announcement. The white wolf leaned over the counter, trying to catch the eye of the final customer of the day - an elusive coyote slinking between the shelves. Their tan, dusty fur blended perfectly between the stacks of old books: each one a curiosity appealing to only the most seasoned connoisseurs.

This coyote wasn't one of those folks. Not by a long stretch. Their tattooed muzzle, unruly mane, and thick ear piercings were anathema to the usual shy, reserved, retiring clientele. Still, there was something about the 'yote - the way their golden eyes matched each tome's golden lettering suggested some deeper connection.

Now those eyes were staring back at Atali, sharp enough to make the wolf's hackles tingle. Instinctively he blinked, swallowed, and pulled his eyes away.

Do they think I'm being rude?

Trouble was the last thing the wolf wanted in the long minutes before closing, and another complaint the last thing he needed. Looking up from the floor, he caught the coyote's gaze again but this time, the arctic wolf broke into a broad, cheerful smile, trying to diffuse any misunderstanding as he repeated himself.

"Cool." The coyote blinked. "I won't be long."

Their accent was weird. Hard to place. Nonchalant. Disinterested. Like they'd spoken so many languages it all just blurred together. They went back to their business, picking through the books as if they had ten minutes until they had to leave.

You should have just said we're closed.

Atali chewed his tongue and glanced at the watch poking through the fur on his wrist. He stifled the whine in his throat and picked at his moulting fur.

It wasn't just that Atali didn't get paid overtime. Even a slight delay in closing up shop had a disproportionate effect on the rest of his day. Being as little as five minutes late would result in him missing his train, and end up having to wait over an hour for the next one. He'd get home way past 8pm, finish some sad ready-meal, grab a quick shower, and then squeeze whatever precious time for himself he could before it was time to get ready for the next shift. Of course, that started at way-too-early-for-an-antique-bookshop o'clock, and just staying up late and getting wired on coffee was not an option. His boss had already warned him twice for looking like a caffeinated zombie in front of customers.

Fur bristling at the unacceptable transgressions of work, Atali abandoned the till and headed out from behind the counter, his claws tapping against the shiny wooden floor as he stalked the coyote.

No way I'm letting this coyote ruin my evening if I can help it!

The white wolf found them in the corner towards the back of the shop, flicking through dusty, tattered tomes that were old even by antique bookshop standards.

"Is there anything you need help with?" Atali asked, trying to speed things up. "I can quickly check the computer and see-"

"Thanks, but what I'm looking for won't be there." The coyote waved their paw, clinking a selection of odd rings together.

The wolf shook his head and pressed further.

"All of our stock is on there, and it will only take a minute to share the results."

The customer, contrary to belief, was rarely ever right - especially when none of them knew the inventory like Atali did.

"I don't doubt it," the coyote sighed, cutting him off like he was saving his breath. They closed the book they were holding and pushed it back onto the shelf. "But what I look for in a book isn't listed on your computer."

"Perhaps, but I can help you narrow down your search a little," the wolf scrambled, trying to think of a better comeback.

The coyote just rolled their eyes and shrugged in reply.

"If you must help me, then where are the rare books? Your sign outside mentions you trade in rarer types." They grunted, tossing aside a tattered paperback copy of The Call of the Wild.

"Medium rares are on the top shelves of each section."

"Care to grab me the ladder then?" The coyote titled their head to the side, fiddling with one of the piercings in their ears as they pointed at a single peeling tag that read: Alternative Beliefs / Spirituality / Occult.

Their choice was some small relief. That section was small and filled with a few books that only ever gathered dust. Each one was a mistake one of Atali's predecessors had made - no matter how rare the seller claimed, or whether the internet corroborated, buying in anything from these topics was absolutely banned.

"I don't think there's enough time to look," Atali commented, pulling the ladder over and applying the brake. "We don't do reservations on rare stock, but I'll be opening bright and early tomorrow so I can always keep something aside."

"Oh, you don't need to break your rules for me! Time won't be a problem for us, don't worry!" The coyote smirked, taking a hold of the ladder and clambering up.

"Well, do let me know if there's anything," Atali sighed.

At least you tried.

The white wolf wandered back to the counter, doing his best to soothe his frustration. He picked at his watch again, only to find that it'd stopped working. He tapped at the glass face with a claw, but to no avail. The fact that it was stuck at five minutes to six felt like a cruel joke. Another thing he'd have to fork out on, though fixing his phone's dead battery would have to come first.

Atali sighed loudly this time and glanced back at the ladder. The coyote was still up there, tail swishing back and forth as he flicked through volume after volume, murmuring away to themselves.

With nothing to alleviate the dull passage of time, the wolf let his mind slip away. Fantasising about being his own boss was a fleeting thing. His mind was already back to his dream from last night, one where he was a wolftaur adventuring in the high arctic. He'd always wished to be one so the latest dream came as no surprise, more a balm on a disappointing reality. It was hard to explain even when he found similar dreamers who 'got' what he meant, but it was a feeling sincere enough that it was never far from his thoughts.

Of course, all daydreams lead to 'Rome', and it was inevitable that his mind sought to warm up the frigid arctic scene with more alluring sights than the northern lights... After all, it wouldn't be practical for taurs to wear pants, and he was beyond pretending his desire to be one that was wholly innocent.

Atali bit his lip and leaned closer to the counter. His sheath tingled, swelling modestly as he wondered what it would feel like to be a wolftaur, having such a thick sheath and balls squeezed between his legs... And then, to think of such a thing unsheathed and throbbing...

Why must reality be so cruel?

The white wolf sighed, his eyes growing more distant still.

"Hey, excuse me?" The coyote yapped, yanking the wolf back to reality. "Can I check if you have any more of these books back there?" The coyote asked, pointing between the occult section and the fancy display cabinets behind the till.

"Sorry, all we've got is up there with you," the wolf sighed.

"Shame, his loss." The coyote sighed, scooting down the ladder and wandering towards the wolf. "In that case, perhaps there's still one final thing you can help me with."

The coyote ran their eyes up and down the wolf, subtly chewing their lip while those ears snapped back and forth, batting some scheme about between them.

"Yeah. I think you can," they nodded."One sec - let me just get my thing..." The coyote muttered, rummaging through the tattered satchel across their back. "These things are always tricky, but you never really know if it works for you until you try it."

At this point, Atali was well and truly half-listening. He was just nodding along, making all the right noises as he stayed on the beach, autopilot engaged. Asking questions always made interactions with awkward customers longer anyway.

"I'll admit, I'm a bit reluctant to part with it, but the truth is I've gotten all the use I can from it..."

Still barely listening, Atali retreated further from reality as the coyote babbled on. At one point they even seemed to shove their arm impossibly deep inside their satchel - all the way to the shoulder - but still they failed to find whatever they were going on about.

"Seems like you've got loads of room in there," Atali whistled.

"It's just a bit tricky to find!" They winked. "When the time comes to move on, it's always hard to let them go."

"Uh huh."

Finally the coyote plucked something from the satchel. Atali smelt it first - mould and a dash of coffee. Then he saw it, an extremely tattered collection of stained pages, held together by gravity rather than any binding. To say it was a 'book' was an understatement - the spine had totally disintegrated, obliterating any trace of the author. It was just about possible to make out the former book's title in faded, silvery-blue letters: Wishful Thinking.

"That's, ugh well... well used." Atali whistled.

"Oh, don't let that stop you two from getting acquainted."

"There's no way I can take this," Atali sighed. He laid a paw on a ragged cover, only to remove it as he realised there was no way it'd survive him pushing it back across the counter. "You'd be lucky to even digitise this without it disintegrating."

"Oh nonsense! You're thinking like your unimaginative boss!"

"Look, my boss would kill me if I gave you money for this"

"Good thing I'm not selling this then," the coyote tutted. Somehow, it all seemed very obvious to them.

"Good for you, but sadly I need every penny I get from this job," Atali sighed. trying to figure out the fastest way to get rid of the coyote so he wouldn't miss his next train.

"That's why I'm giving this to you!" The coyote laughed, fiddling with another piercing on their lip. "Maybe it'll work for you. Maybe not. It's all very arcane - just remember that when you've got all you can get out of it, you give it to someone else who will use it well," they paused, ears twitching. "Got that?"

"Sure," Atali replied.

"Good!" The coyote beamed. "When it comes to wishful thinking, start small. Don't burn out on the big stuff, okay?"

"Of course."

"You have no idea." The coyote grinned. "First time is always the most fun." They whistled some catchy tune as they buckled up their satchel and made for the exit. They clicked their tongue as soon as they crossed the threshold and disappeared from view.

Atali didn't bother to wait. He left the tattered 'book' on the counter as he hurriedly turned around the closed sign, emptied the register, pulled down the blinds, turned off the lights, and checked all the locks. The very last thing the wolf did was scoop up the coyote's leavings and deposit it in his satchel. He'd bin it when he got home, otherwise the boss would only take it as evidence of him somehow wasting time.

Wishing that he at least had a working phone to pass the time until his next train, Atali turned the final lock on the shop door and walked towards the station.

As he reached into his pocket, he felt his phone buzz. Sighing, Atali pulled his phone from his pocket, thinking he might as well try to figure out what was wrong with it.

It was alive. Fully charged, and buzzing with the day's missed notifications.

The wolf frowned. Perhaps it was just a loose connection?

He gave his phone a shake. Nothing cut out.

Weird, but whatever.

As long as it meant he could save a few bucks he wasn't going to question it, even if his phone somehow thought it was only 17:59.

***

When Atali made it to the station, there was a train at the platform - delayed while they waited for the driver to arrive.

Maybe they're being held up by a coyote too?

The white wolf chuckled to himself, his humour cut short as he squeezed through the carriage doors. The train was full, barely any standing room in the cramped aisles. But that didn't stop other latecomers trying to push in behind the wolf, transforming the already unpleasant cuddle with strangers into an unyielding scrum.

It was not even worth thinking about the smell.

Atali stifled a growl as the intercom crackled to life, wishing whoever was digging their elbows into him would just fuck off. The announcement was a typical barely audible mumble.

"Welcome aboard this delayed... service to Scherness. This is due to...unavailable. To regulate... sorry... calling at only..."

The intercom paused as the guard took a weary breath, as if the avatar of everyone onboard.

"Newton, Anford, Hazlewood, and South Quays."

Further growls rippled down the carriage as people flowed out the doors. Atali's fur fluffed up smugly as he watched the people previously pushing to get onto the train, now scramble to get off it. Less than a minute later the carriage was practically empty, with room enough for Atali to not only have a seat, but have the one next to him free too. Practically luxurious.

A sigh of relief rippled through him as the train rumbled out of the station.

He flicked out his phone and made a start on the missed messages.

Atali ~ Sorry phone died earlier.

Valeri ~ Seems to be working now.

Atali ~ Yeah, it's weird. Loose connection or something, I dunno.

Valeri ~ Ah, sweet. I was getting kinda worried.

Atali ~ Worried how?

Valeri ~ That things weren't your speed.

Atali ~ As if! You had me busy daydreaming about being a taur all day!

Valeri ~ Isn't that every day?

Atali ~ Oh come on. How often do you get to gush about that with someone else who gets it?

Valeri ~ Hmm, picturing you strutting between the shelves on all fours? Wish I was one of your customers.

Atali ~ Ha, great help I'd be. My taur ass would barely fit. Those turns are tight. I'd barely be able to serve anyone.

Valeri ~ Oh I'd see about that...

Atali squirmed in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable, and modest, angle to continue the conversation.

Atali ~ Speaking of customers, I had one I was itching to kick out. Taking their sweet time right up until I had to close. Somehow didn't take as long as it felt and I managed to catch a delayed service.

Valeri ~ Sucks. You really should get paid overtime.

Atali ~ That's the least I'd wish for. Anyway, on my way home. Might be back sooner than later at this rate. Still on for a game or two?

Valeri ~ Course. I'm finishing up my stream so just prod me.

The wolf nibbled his lip and focused on staring out the window. Suburbia swept on by in a sea of beige bricks and budding green shoots. He shifted his legs again and turned his attention back to his phone, clearing up a couple more mundane messages and scrolling through socials, more out of habit than anything else. There wasn't much between the routine of work and sleep to talk about.

South Quays rolled on by soon enough, and spared the usual melee to swipe through the barriers, Atali was down to the final short walk of his journey. The evening had turned into a long sunny night - the first hint of summer you get in Spring. The air felt cool and fresh, and after months of darkness the return of the sun was welcome, greeted by songbirds that darted back and forth from suburbia's hedgerows.

Atali didn't even bother to check the time when he finally pushed open the door to his flat and flopped onto the bed, satchel thrown to the side with a loud, coherent thud. Relief that another day was done washed through him, the pointless trials and needless stress of work leaching out from his body thanks to the comfy bedsheets. As welcome an embrace they were, the wolf wasn't ready to surrender to sleep just yet - while an early night might be welcome, it'd only bring the next day's work around quicker.

Who knows, you might get a whole day of coyotes.

Rousing himself from the plush pillows, Atali ambled across to the studio flat's kitchen and pulled an oven pizza out of the fridge. Time was a luxury after all, and he didn't want to waste it on the chore of meal prep, no matter how he wished to improve things.

It was done cooking in under ten minutes, and gone in half that. Sure, the food looked nothing like the photogenic packaging, what salt, sugar, and fat could do for the flavour was nothing short of a miracle.

Licking his fingertips clean, the wolf narrowed his eyes and turned towards his discarded satchel. It was probably about time to bin that mouldy pile of papers and get everything sorted for the next day - not out of enthusiasm, but just so he could have the rest of the evening guilt free.

Crossing back over to where he'd discarded his satchel, Atali slung it over his shoulder and walked towards the bin. But as he crossed the small distance, he could feel something different - the way the weight was distributed felt off. More coherent. Fixed. Nothing like a pile of loose pages.

He reached inside to scoop out the rotten old paper, but instead he felt something solid. The wolf's paws rummaged around between the bag's compartments, trying to remember if he'd forgotten about packing away that coyote's mess before closing. He was certain he had, but evidently, such certainty was misleading.

Although the wolf wasn't planning on spending the rest of his evening reading, he was at least curious about whatever it was he'd picked up and forgotten about. He hopped onto the sofa, old, brown, but positioned right in the middle of an evening sunbeam, and began to piece together how exactly this thing came into his possession.

The book itself was in perfect condition, with some abstract, silver, blue and gold swirling illustration on the cover. At the head and tail two silver clasps held it closed, but as the wolf ran his thumb across they snapped open, sensitive to touch.

Maybe not in such great condition.

Opening it carefully, Atali flicked through the blank front matter - no title, no publisher, location or date. But then as he flicked back through the empty pages, about to close it up and seal the clasps, he noticed something.

As if by magic, the empty front matter began to populate in itself. By some invisible hand, letters began to fill the page in an ornate gothic script, illuminated in silver, blue and gold like some ancient mediaeval manuscript.

Wishful Thinking, it read.

Atali blinked rapidly, feeling this odd sensation - something electric, creeping up his spine. The wolf didn't know how to respond to the strangeness of his situation, but at that moment he finally knew what deer felt when it came to headlights.

The wolf turned the page over. The strangeness coiled and grew within him as another blank page fashioned its contents into existence before his eyes. It worked in the same mediaeval style Atali always admired, something he wished to both own and practise himself. It paid homage to all his favourite styles: byzantine, romanesque, and gothic, shaping them into a starry scene somewhere high in the arctic - a wild place, with equal parts beauty and hardship.

Atali's paws tingled as he held the tome in his lap. It was oddly pleasant, like being submerged in icy water with all the clarity but none of the cold. The sensation grew stronger the longer he spent holding it, but he didn't dare let go as the magic continued.

The starry scene on the page before him grew, adding more detail beyond even the most accurate of realism. It was no longer an image, more a view of another world, or even another life. He felt a pang in his heart, some muted ancestral yearning for the place, the familiar wolftaur beneath, their fur as pure as snow.

Atali held his breath as the wolftaur's fur twisted gracefully, the night air buffeting his powerful, athletic form. He stood with his back turned in a three quarter view, but he didn't need to see the face to know it was him. The wolftaur kept looking out ahead, somewhere between the icy expanse below and the roiling sky overhead, waiting. Suddenly the darkness was filled with a river of otherworldly, green-blue light. The aurora danced overhead, twisting and turning unpredictably, until the shimmering lights crossed the heavens in a flood of green, blue, purple and red.

Atali's fur stood on end as he watched, his body overflowing with energy that poured deeper within the wolf still. The lights now swirled around the wolftaur, twisting and turning around his limbs like snakes. They grew brighter, coiling tighter, swirling faster until the colours blurred together in a blinding flash.

The wolf's ears twitched as he felt each second pass by, stretched and overflowing. His heart shuddered away in his chest, struggling with the tide of electricity crackling, overcharging every nerve. His body felt numb. His ears roared. It felt like he was falling, tumbling over himself, but he never heard the sound of the floor - only the cold wind sweeping over him. Finally, the energy receded, the sparks inside his flesh becoming less frequent like a passing storm.

When Atali remembered himself, the first thing he heard was the sound of him panting hard. His entire body was on fire, tingling with pins and needles. It faded as he stretched his body out, each breath bringing a fresh wave of oxygen surging through his veins, until he felt confident enough to stand, for the first time on all fours...

At first it felt off. His balance, different. Elongated. Sturdier but still, a centre of gravity weirdly off centre. The feeling passed quickly as his powerful muscles kicked in, his taur body behind his torso rippling to life beneath his thick fur. It also helped that he quickly disentangled himself from the remaining scraps of his old, now ill-fitting clothes.

"Fuck, I should have thought about that."

He laughed, tossing the shreds aside. Like he actually cared - it was a small price to pay for such a dream come true.The wolftaur felt his tail wag furiously behind him, but it was insufficient to burn off the excitement surging through his body. He wanted to run, to howl, to jump and to dance - even do it all at once. Anything to begin to express a measure of the joy he was feeling.

As the bliss of his transformation receded, the mundane world brought a muddle of questions all at once.

Who was that coyote, really?

What am I going to do for work tomorrow?

Can I still take care of myself?

The base need of his last question took the wolftaur's attention. While his new body felt powerful and flexible, he needed to know the limits. How far could he stretch? His paws felt so very far indeed from his stirring loins... a desire that would prove maddening if he couldn't sate it.

He started with what felt like a simple stretch, leaning back and seeing how far his body would bend. He chuckled in surprise as his abdomen burned, eyes staring at the ceiling as he felt the fur on both his backs touch.

"Seems promising."

Tensing his abdomen, he returned to his natural, upright stance, before learning forward until his head fit snugly between his forelegs. It was close enough to even touch his paws.

"Well well well..." he chuckled, laying eyes on his lupine pride. His excitement renewed itself at the sight. As a wolf Atali had considered himself reasonable for his lupine heritage, but now he was hung in only the way a taur could be. But what was swinging beneath his rear legs was a grade up for sure. Voluminous, fun looking balls in a tight sack. And a thick, swollen sheath that his excitement was doing nothing to shrink.

"Gah, where did I put my phone?" Atali whined, feeling the pressure between his legs build as his thick wolftaur knot swelled within that sheath. It was both wonderful and maddening, the feeling of slick tightness he couldn't escape. The more excited he grew, the more his knot grew, and the more his knot grew, the tighter his sheath became. It was a lewd feedback loop that quickly made him abandon any attempt to grab a pic and focus instead on sating that burning desire.

Unfortunately, try as he might, his new taur body was not flexible enough for a relieving paw to reach.

Each one flowing into the other, until Atali could only bite his lip and hope his knot could pop free on its own.

"Please..." he gasped raggedly, stars swimming across his vision. He heard it when his knot popped free, followed by the warm spurt of his first shot of seed. Followed by a second. And a third. Until a good portion of his chest and muzzle was covered in cum, and his thick knot throbbing as the stream of fluid slowly spurted from his canine tip.

Atali's lust garbled his words into an unintelligible mess. His limbs wobbled, giddy as he tried to remain steady on all four legs.

"Fuck me." The wolftaur growled, far from sated. "Guess I will need some help back there - and quick."

Atali grinned, shaking his tail. He could already feel his desire building again as he trotted over to the coffee table and grabbed his phone, still hard knot bobbing between his legs, slapping up against his belly. Leaning underneath his torso, he grabbed a quick series of pics, too needy to care about composition.

Atali ~ Hey, you'll never guess who got their wish today.

He attached the picture and pressed send. The reply was practically instant.

Valeri ~ I'm on my way over. Mind if I bring a friend?

Atali frowned, a smile flashing over his muzzle.

Atali~ Of course. If you think they can handle it.

It was a fair question. The way he was feeling, it surely would be a long night, and the confidence surging though his body calmed any other doubts.

Valeri ~ See you soon...

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