FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

First off, I want to say one thing.

I know what I did was wrong.

I am deeply remorseful for my actions.

And I deserve whatever punishment that is exacted upon me.

I know that this will not change anything, but I will say it anyway.

I'm sorry.

It's me, by the way.

I go by a few names.

The Purple Guy.

The Man Behind the Slaughter.

Etcetera.

But I prefer to go by my real name.

William Afton.

I am writing this because I have nothing better to do. I know no one will read it. No one will want to.

But I just want to explain why I did what I did.

Not justify. There is no justification for my actions. Just an explanation.

I guess I should start.

As a child, I was under a lot of pressure. I grew up in England. I was always told to try hard and to achieve great things. Don't get me wrong, I want to achieve. But after a few years, these high expectations took their toll on my mental state. I tried to ignore the hollow feelings inside my mind. This only allowed them to grow.

I had friends. Lots of them. That was the problem though. Due to my friend group being so large, it felt that I was often forgotten. I felt insignificant, as if I wouldn't be noticed if I left the group. After a couple of tests, I proved this theory correct. I was not demeaning to be the centre of attention, but just to felt as if I was valued. I wanted people to start conversations with me, not me approach them.

When I was 11 years of age roughly, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I knew I had it as soon as I knew what it was, but no one believed me. Until I was tested. Throughout my schooldays I would occasionally break out into violent rages. These greatly ranged in scale, but when it was bad, catastrophic events followed. I was horrifically destructive. I was never like this when I was calm. I reminded myself of the character of The Incredible Hulk; one minute Bruce Banner, a very nice guy. The next a brutal monster consumed in a blind rage.

These two things caused me to feel very bad about myself. I needed a distraction to put my mind in a slightly better place.

When I was around 13 or 14 years of age, I found a distraction. I found her. I can't bring myself to write her name even now. I was helplessly in love.

There was one, big problem however. I found it very hard to start conversations with females. Still do. I could never speak to her, tell her how I feel. Over two years I never spoke a word. Two years of torture. My mental state was declining.

Eventually, I managed to talk to her online. This only lasted briefly. I told her how I felt. I was stupid and cowardly to do it through text, but what else could I do? She was very nice, actually. But in the end, the answer was a blunt, heart-wrenching 'no'. She didn't say it bluntly, but that's how I interpreted it. The depression was now firmly rooted in my mind.

I tried to avoid her throughout the rest of my time in schooling, but whenever I did set eyes on her, for however briefly, the pain throbbed.

After I left home, I moved to the USA. I wanted to get as far away from my past as I could.

I chose to call the State of Utah home. I liked the climate and the landscape.

Over time, I met my now ex-wife. I never truly loved her as much as the first romantic interest i had, which was what would ultimately lead to our splitting up. However, before we split we raised 3 children. Michael, Elizabeth and [REDACTED].

You probably already know what happened to them. Before [REDACTED]'s death in 1983, I was relatively happy again. I like to think that I was a good father. But after he passed, all of the feeling of hatred returned. After all, it was MY creation that lead to his untimely demise.

I took out my anger on my family. I regret this thoroughly. I regret most things thoroughly, but especially what I did to my family. I turned Michael away from his mother, sister and I. He eventually shunned his connection to the Afton family altogether, changing his surname to 'Fritz', or something like that. Eventually, I was the only remaining member of my own family. I was alone. I had chased everyone I loved away from me.

After [REDACTED]'s death, I... did the act that would seal my own fate. I was angry. Angry that children would be capable of causing another, more vulnerable, child's death. I already wasn't keen on kids, but now I hated them all the more. At one point I found some kids, who I had earlier witnessed being disrespectful to the animatronics on stage, alone. I found my old Springbonnie suit from the old restaurant in the Parts & Service room. After equipping it, I was ready to exact my revenge. My revenge that I was unjustified in doing. I told them to follow me into the Parts & Service room. There, I... I...

I should have known better. I would never want to put other parents what I had to go through with [REDACTED]. I was a fool. But I was too enraged and mentally ill to care at the time.

After that, I hid the bodies in some of the animatronic suits, ready for me to dispose of later.

I was never put under trial for my actions. No one knew it was me.

From then on, I went insane. Well, more that I developed a sadistic personality.

I loved causing children sadness. I didn't care about anything anymore.

A couple of years later, the fatal night came.

I was locking up the restaurant, when I thought I heard something. I thought that maybe one of the animatronic characters hadn't been fully deactivated, so I walked over to the main show stage. The machines were disconnected from power.

I dismissed the event, and was about to turn around and leave, when suddenly I heard a click. I looked up to Freddy, one of the animatronic characters. His eyelids unexpectedly opened wide, revealing unnaturally bloodshot eyes beneath. I jumped back in fear, falling upon a table. I looked up to the other two characters, Bonnie and Chica. Their eyes were in a similar state. They stared into my soul for about 4 seconds. I then heard faint, childlike laughter emanating from the characters, slowly increasing in volume, until it became unbearable to listen to. I squinted due to the noise, clasping my ears. As I tried to focus my vision amidst the sensory chaos, I saw ghostly, pale figures appearing in front of the characters, which were now twitching whilst maintaining their unnerving stares. This was too much for me, so I ran to the Parts & Service room, and as fast as i could, I equipped my Springbonnie suit, as a form of protection. The figures stood in the doorway, which I took as a sign of their defeat. I began to manically laugh. Then, I heard a quiet ticking sound. Confused, I stopped laughing for a second. I then realised that the figures were not stationary due to defeat. They were simply waiting for the events to come.

The springlocks in my suit had snapped into animatronic mode, latching onto and crushing my body. I tried to scream, but only hoarse breath came out. My vocal chords were severed. I could not feel anything. My eyes frantically darted around as my vision filled with darkness. I knew I was dying.

The figures I saw I now realise were merely figments of my imagination. A product of my guilt and self-anger.

As you, whoever is reading, will probably know, from that point on I was known as 'Springtrap'. My final thoughts had somehow fused with the CPU in the animatronic Springbonnie suit, allowing me to live on in mechanical form. This was my consequence for my actions.

It did not stop there, but I shall not repeat the rest.

Whoever is reading, please try to forgive me. I realise how much of a terrible wolf I was. I just want another chance.

But then again, I wouldn't forgive myself either.

I think slowly rotting away is the best outcome for me.

I'm sorry that I did what I did. Truly. I don't care if you don't believe it. I am.

I'm sorry Michael for being a bad father.

I'm sorry [REDACTED] for allowing you to be unsafe.

I'm sorry Elizabeth for even building that machine at all.

Just please, don't remember me as the man I became.

My catchphrase was 'I always come back', but I don't know if I should.

Will you give me another chance?

==END OF FILE==

Err//51