Day in... Day out
#6 of The Orphan
Epilogue
"I wonder... if I run around in a circle fast enough, will I get somewhere?"
"... Dave... what's wrong with you man? I shouldn't even have to explain this!" Brian cried, hooking his cap over the back of his head and pulling it down to his brow as a sticky drizzle started to fall. "We are uniformed police officers! Dumpster diving while in duty isn't regarded as normal! In fact, dumpster diving in general is never regarded as kosher!"
The human watched as the metal dumpster rocked as his partner, another uniformed human rummaged around through other people's garbage. Dave had quite literally, just out of the blue, vaulted into the dumpster and had been rummaging around for five minutes now. Usually Brian was the patient sort of guy. He had to be. He had two kids. But usually Dave's antics got the better of him.
"Hang on!" Dave's muffled voice called from inside the dumpster. "I saw her dump it in here the other day. It can't be that much deeper!"
Brian gave a disgusted look, turning away from the dumpster and starting his way back out the alley and into the street. "Please don't tell me you've found a dead body. You know how much paperwork those things generate?"
"Seriously, dude, this will freak you out." Dave said cheerfully. There was a hollow clang as he threw something heavy aside and dove deeper into the dumpster.
"I'm freaking out now!" Brian called over his shoulder as he waited by the alleyway mouth.
As civil protectors, it was Dave and Brian's responsibility to patrol the streets of Gaia's capitol city, Horizon. They had been among the fourth batch of humans permitted to enlist into the academy, and both had scraped by with average test results. They were given uniforms, less than lethal weapons and sent out into paid community service. It wasn't exactly the most rewarding job, but it paid the bills.
Dave was a single student of age twenty eight. He was used to late night parties, haunting every night club in town and drinking his brains to mush. Brian was forty, and somewhat more responsible. He had a Gaian wife and a pair of fourteen year old Gaian girls. They came from two totally different lifestyles, but apart from that they were like brothers. They always looked out for each other, and any mishaps in the line of duty that happened between them, stayed between them. Like this dumpster diving incident for example. If the force found out Dave would be suspended. But the force wouldn't find out, because Brian would never report it.
Another hollow clang as Dave let out a triumphant cry. "Found it!"
"What? A dirty diaper?" Brian said, leaving the alley behind him and walking up to the curb overlooking a dead straight street cutting right through the city.
"Better!" came Dave's voice.
The streets were quiet. Everyone was either in school or at work. Apart from the odd Gaian wandering about, Dave and Brian were alone out here. That alone was a blessing for Brian. Having to explain to a civilian why Dave was the way he was would be excruciating. Back in the alleyway Dave jumped out of the dumpster and jogged up beside his partner, holding out a silver box.
"Check it out!" Dave said loudly, holding the box carefully in one hand.
It had a single handle running along the top, rubber feet on the bottom and two round pieces of black mesh on either side. In the centre were several push buttons and a wide rectangular slot.
"Congratulations!" Brian said with fake celebration, before going back to his bored self. "You've redefined what it means to be a dumbass."
"It's a cassette player." Dave exclaimed. "This is so awesome. Looks like the previous owner fitted it with a fusion coil charger." He turned the archaic radio over in his hands. "Looks well maintained. Could do with a scrub I suppose, but I bet it works."
"I know what it is, Dave." Brian said, pointing down at the cassette player. "And I have no doubt that it might actually still work. But you fail to realise that nobody, human or Gaian has produced music on cassettes for over ten thousand years!"
"No problemo!" Dave smiled, digging into one of the pouches on his belt and holding up a small square tape. It was made of black plastic, and had a white label stuck to the front with 'Dave's soundtrack' scribbled untidily on it with red ink.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Brian said, watching Dave put the radio on the ground and carefully insert his tape. "This is retarded."
"This is awesome." Dave corrected as the cassette door snapped shut and the radio started to whir. A light crackle escaped the speakers as the first song rolled into position.
"Listen to that crackle." Brian pointed out as the pause before the first song on the tape played back. "The quality is going to be shit!"
A moment later the music started playing. Distorted guitars started playing a loud catchy rhythm first, before drums added to the beat and random sound effects were added to the cacophony of what Brian regarded as inarticulate noise. And then the singer started.
The bass, the rock,
The mic, the treble,
I like my coffee black
Just like my metal!
"What the fuck is that?" Brian cried as Dave turned up the volume a bit. "Turn that crap off!"
"No. I like it." Dave said with a wide smile. "This is so awesome."
"Where did you get that tape?" Brian demanded. "That is freaking profane!"
"Some collector let me have it." Dave shrugged. "I haven't had anything to play it on until now. He said the song was called 'Shut me up' by an age old human band called Mindless Self Indulgence."
"Damn, I wouldn't mind granting his request." Brian said as the singer sang the line 'I can't wait for you to shut me up' "No wonder our species is going extinct! How do you listen to this crap, Dave?"
"Easily." Dave said as he turned the volume down a bit so Brian would stop complaining. "What kind of music do you like?"
"Not that shit you kids listen to in those nightclubs." Brian assured, checking his watch. "Aw, man, we got half an hour to go until the end of our shift."
"Man, you're sombre." Dave commented.
"Working with you does that."
"Say, I wonder what the orphans listen to?" Dave suddenly said.
"Orphans?" Brian asked, looking up.
"Yeah. You know. Those cloned kids who were supposed to save humanity from extinction?" Dave said.
"Yeah, I know who you mean." Brian said. "But I was just wondering why in the name of sanity you'd care."
"Well... uhm..." Dave rubbed the back of his head, unsure how to answer. "I dunno. They were supposed to save the species and all... I was just wondering."
"Oh, c'mon, Dave, you're smarter than that." Brian stopped, reconsidering that statement. "Well, uh... no, maybe you're not... look, the Orphan Project wasn't intended to save the species. It was to rebuild our military. If humanity wanted to increase our numbers they'd just set up another one of those breeding colonies. You know, like Purseus three? Get it done the old fashioned way. Any idiot knows that creating an army of clones with military training wired into their brains is just asking for trouble. It's like something out of a cheesy science fiction movie. What's next? Space ninjas with magical superpowers?"
"I suppose." Dave admitted.
"You suppose?" Brian laughed. "And do you suppose performing illegal genetic research in the first place is downright wrong? Face it! The Orphan Project was doomed from the start."
"Well, it sounds like a stupid concept when you say it like that." Dave said a little disgruntled. "But you have to admit, setting up a breeding colony isn't a fine idea either. Those places are brutal. I mean, you criticise humanity for thinking the Orphan Project was a good idea. But the Gaian government has to be equally demented to think putting a few thousand humans on a planet and expecting their numbers to reach a million by the end of the year is a good idea."
"Yeah, it is a sound enough idea on paper. But in practice it's a bit over the top." Brian sighed. "But, hey. Drastic times."
Dave scratched his head, thinking over the music. "Say. Why did your kids end up as Gaians anyway? I always wondered about that. Why is it all children from a Gaian human relationship are never born human?"
"Duh!" Brian said as if it was obvious. "Simple species superiority. I don't know the exact science, but it has something to do with our genetic compatibility. You see, when we..."
"Whoa, stop right there." Dave held out his hands, gesturing Brian to stop. "All I wanted was a 'life's a bitch' kind of answer. If I want details I'll go to the internet. Oh, hey, speaking of which. You read the news this morning?"
"That article, investigation into the Chaos Guild? With all this Orphan business springing up lately, I'm hardly amazed the Chaos Guild is getting a proper investigation." Brian stopped, thinking about it. "That's a stupid name, isn't it? Couldn't they come up with something cooler, like the 'superiors' or 'destructigaunts?'"
"Destructigaunts?" Dave said blankly. "What are you on?"
"Oh, c'mon. It's just off the top of my head." Brian sighed. "I mean, look at the Asyr. I mean, that's a cool name. Or even the Ceruliodons. That's just badass."
"The Asyr aren't an organisation like the Chaos Guild." Dave said in a matter of factly tone. "They are an entirely female species who each carry all the necessary functions to produce and care for a child. All they need is the genetic material of the 'father' entity to reproduce, which can be any gender, of any species. They live up to 500 Gaian years and can stun any creature with their voice." He finished on a wide grin.
"Amazing." Brian said unimpressed after a long pause. "You actually read the Federation Civilian Protection Force field guide. Can you recite Sigd too?"
Dave nodded. "An insectoid race that bare no gender. Each individual Sigd is ignorant of companionship and reproduce asexually. They don't project any emotions and communicate with hardly audible clicks and sonic waves. To understand their speech would require years of practice or an electronic translator. Due to their inability for companionship or emotional expression the Sigd are naturally hard workers and incapable of imagination."
Meanwhile, Brian had produced his field guide from a pocket on his belt and read over the species codex. "Word for word. Okay, now do 'retard' under chapter 'you're such a.'"
"You're just jealous." Dave said proudly.
Brian laughed. "Yeah, that must be it..." the human looked up and down the street, a fat grey bird picking at the dirt between the concrete tiles of the pavement not far away. "Oh, look. There's another one."
"Oh cool." Dave said, tugging the pistol from his hip holster. The weapon was a gas operated, magazine fed, semi-automatic pistol that fired off 6mm rubber pellets with enough force to cause a bear to wince. Naturally it was enough force to knock a pigeon out of the sky.
The bird wasn't actually a pigeon. The earthling pigeon had died out centuries ago of a avian disease known as 'Bird Flu.' This bird was actually called a greye, but humans still called it pigeon because of the uncanny resemblance.
"You're going to miss, Dave." Brian said. "I wouldn't even try."
Dave ignored him, slowly levelled the pistol in two hands and angled his head behind the sights, pointing the weapon at the pigeon who hopped around, oblivious to what was about to happen. "Heh-heh. You're mine, pigeon."
"You ever wonder why our field guide describes the sexual behaviour of those we protect?" Brian asked as he looked back down at his booklet while Dave continued to line up his sights for one well placed shot.
"Not really. Is it really so sex oriented?" Dave bit his lip and squeezed the trigger. The gun recoiled slightly as a single rubber pellet was projected from the barrel. It soared through the air, curving in the wind slightly, hitting the pigeon in the back of the head. The poor bird flopped over, twitching as he wondered what just happened.
"Huh." Brian glanced up. "Nice shot... here, take this example about Gaians." He read: "Entrepreneurs of the Federation. They are subdivided into countless species. Referred to by humans as furs on rare occasions, they bare resemblance to anthropomorphic earthling animals. They have common behavioural patterns to humans, but are generally less prone to discrimination or violence. Gaian society craves for unity, organisation and order, though their primal instincts sometimes throw individuals into disarray." He chuckled. "Wait for it. This next part gets right to business. Every Gaian adult goes through an annual period known as 'heat'. During this time, for days or weeks, sometimes months at a time they have the uncontrollable desire to reproduce. It is because of this behavioural pattern their numbers increase so rapidly, forcing them to expand and colonise new worlds."
"Nice." Dave slowly nodded, twirling his pistol on his index finger and shoving it back into the holster. "I never actually got past the species codex in that book. Is the Federation history in there?"
Brian flicked through the pages, searching to the back of the field guide. "Yeah, it has some information on the First Contact War... huh... neat, I didn't know that." He added as he read through the article. "Apparently some people called it Ragnarok."
Dave snorted. "That's a cool name. The Chaos Guild should have named themselves that."
"Christ... this thing is pretty detailed." Brian held out the booklet. "Read this."
Dave didn't move, looking confused at his partner. "What did you just say? What was that word?"
"What word?" Brian asked.
"Christ. What does that mean?" Dave shrugged. "That's the first time I've heard you say that."
"Oh, right. I was doing some research on ancient human religion last night." Brian explained. "I found a quite interesting one called Christianity. It worships the creator of Earth, God, and his messiah son, Jesus Christ. It's pretty neat. If I just follow ten simple guidelines I get to go to a place of eternal bliss called Heaven when I die."
"That's the gayest fucking shit I've ever heard." Dave chuckled. "What's the point?"
"Oh, you know. Just in case." Brian shrugged. "If it's true my... retirement, is sorted out."
Dave laughed out loud. "Ha! In that case you'd better follow every religion in the galaxy. But what if it's all a farce? Then you've wasted your life following rules and guidelines."
Brian gave his partner a 'whatever' look. "Faith, Dave. You ought to try it." He held out the field guide. "Anyway, read this out. It's pretty interesting. Teach you how your grandfather fought for your future."
"A future in the Federation CPF. Nice." Dave chuckled, taking the field guide, clearing his throat and reading out loud. "The Federation first stumbled upon humanity in an unrecorded event the humans came to know as 'Roswell'. Human military shot down a scout craft and dissected its crew. No action was taken for a long time, until 4690 Federation calendar. A fleet converged on earth, hoping to initiate peace talks. Humanity retaliated with panic, and sent WMDs to intercept the fleet.
"The initial human thoughts were that the Federation were a collection of races, because Gaian physiology varied from species to species. They also believed the Federation were from another galaxy and underestimated the Federation's ability to navigate the Milky Way.
"One at a time, the Federation took human colonies, crippling devout military forces and training surrendered prisoners for use as servants and slaves. At the time it was deemed as the kindest fate. The Federation pushed humanity right back to their home planet and slowly wore away their defences. Before long humanity became a desperate cornered animal. They unleashed their plan of last resort.
"A sizeable strike force, humanity's best and brightest slipped out of the Sol system and attacked a Federation weapons manufacturing plant. Waiting for them was half the Federation fleet.
"With their best gone, the Federation fleet was able to lay waste to earth defences and take over the planet. Sadly, humanity would not let the Federation take earth. They detonated planetside fusion bombs, devastating the surface, turning earth into a radioactive wasteland.
"Meanwhile, the human assault on Cassius in theQuebec system continued. There the human assaulting forces launched their WMDs and lay waste to another planet. With the permanent loss of two large habitable planets the First Contact War ended in 4699. The price paid was the near extinction of humanity. In their depression the Federation took them in and began project REBIRTH. The government started to abolish many of the slavery laws for humans and settled them on colonies to reproduce. This would not however be the last time humanity faced near extinction." Despite that grim reminder of humanity's dark history, Dave laughed. "Good old humanity. If in doubt... nuke it!"
Brian couldn't help grin humorously as well. Dave handed back the field guide and stuffed his hands in his pocket.
"Its five." He said, glancing down at Brian's watch. "Wanna grab a drink before heading home."
Brian looked at his clock properly and scoffed. "We've got five minutes of duty left."
"Oh, who cares?" Dave looked around. There was nobody out. Rush hour would only start in about half an hour. "Nobody's around."
Brian stared for a second, before slowly nodded. "Yeah... a drink would be nice." He grinned. "But make sure you eat something first. Some peanuts at least. I'm not carrying a drunk teenager home."
"Yes, grandpa." Dave said sarcastically as they both walked down the quiet road to the nearest bar.
But as both of them walked side by side, talking about everything and nothing at the same time, they hardly noticed a young cheetah and a human pass them, walking quietly and inconspicuously hand in hand.
"If everything you are taught and led to believe by society is born of ignorance, does that make you an ignorant person?"
- Altair, Orphan-1337