The Pizza is a Lie! [Trade]
Mario gets shrunk and crushed repeatedly under a female yoshi's smooth rear. Then farted on.
The Pizza is a Lie! [Trade]
By: Blobskin
Contains: micro Mario, macro yoshi, unaware, unwilling, buttcrush, sweat, fart
Version: 5
It was another peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. June was well underway and the sun beat mercilessly down upon the citizens as it crawled across the sky. Today found Mario by himself at his home and office. His younger brother, Luigi, was currently off training with Koopa the Quick in preparation for the next kart racing tournament. Which was a little odd seeing as Quick was a professional runner, not a driver. But Mario saw no reason to spoil his younger brother's fun. He could easily man the office on this slow day by himself.
Mario was in the kitchen enjoying a cold bottle of soda by an open window when the doorbell rang. "Hm?" he mumbled around the glass in his mouth. Everyone in the kingdom should have known his was an open door.
Moving to the front, he pulled the simple wooden door aside to find a green shelled koopa wearing a red hat with a picture of bunny ears on the rim standing on his doorstep. In the short turtle's hands was an unmarked, broad, flat, white box. The koopa looked nervously up at him.
"Can I help you?" Mario asked, confused.
"I-I have a... present? THAT'S RIGHT! A PRESENT! Oh um... from Bowser to Mario." The young koopa then put on a big fake reassuring smile.
Mario eyed him and the box wearily. Cautiously, he raised the lid with a single gloved hand.
The golden glow of delicious melted cheese coated the surrounding area in a blinding heavenly light. Beautiful wispy steam poured from the freshly baked crust. The circular plane of perfection was divided into two equal halves. One of which was coated in finely sliced mushrooms and the other dotted with precisely diced pineapple.
It was a pizza fit for a king.
The young koopa shifted awkwardly in his small shoes as Mario practically drooled into the box. "Uh... sir?"
"Ho?" Mario snapped back to reality.
"Are you going to take it?"
Mario slammed the lid down, it was the only way to get that tempting aroma out of his nose so he could focus. Then he shook his head clear before asking the hundred coin question. "And what is this for?"
"Well," the mail koopa started, "Bowser just wanted to send a little peace offering. You know, before the tournament. He was hoping you would think about it before... throwing another red shell at him and taking first place."
"Oh," Mario replied simply. The memory never failed to leave a pleasant ebb at the back of his mind. "Okey dokey then. Thank you!" Mario grinned from ear to ear as he seized the pizza box with both hands and retreated into the house.
"Enjoy," the koopa mumbled as the door slammed in his face, making him flinch.
Back at the table, Mario could hardly keep his hands still. While it wasn't spaghetti, pizza with mushrooms was the next best thing. Bowser certainly knew him well. This bribe would definitely be on his mind when he was running the King of Koopas off Rainbow Road this year. He might even feel guilty!
Oh well.
Mario threw the lid up and reveled in that cheesy shine for a moment. Then he plopped down in a wooden chair and began tearing into his present. The pineapple side was obviously for Luigi, who was a bit more health conscious then his older brother, so the hungry plumber planned on leaving that half alone. Luckily, there was still plenty to satisfy him.
Thanks to his years of practice, Mario managed to consume his entire half of the pizza in only a few minutes without so much as staining his perfect glistening mustache. He leaned back and patted his stomach contently. "That was good," Mario moaned. His belly rumbled in agreement, already working hard to digest the feast. He then eyed the rest of the pizza critically. It was best to refrigerate it for Luigi, seeing as there was no way to know when he would be back.
But just as Mario stood to close the box and put it away, he felt a familiar power radiating through him.
He blinked twice before watching in horror as his body flashed with energy. A moment later his arms compacted in on themselves, seeming to disappear. Mario gasped and fell back in his chair as his legs too began to shrink. Then, before he could so much as utter an objection, his head and torso followed suit. Soon his entire body had dwindled out of sight. Eventually the transformation did come to an end, but not before Mario was left stranded in an alien world.
Mario's open palm met his forehead when he realized what had happened. "Mama Mia," he grumbled to himself. Those had been poison mushrooms. Bowser had tricked him. But something more was off about his current situation. Mario should have been about 20 centimeters (eight inches) tall, roughly doll sized. However, he was currently much much smaller. The surface of the chair was now a vast wasteland that stretched far into the distance. The dining table hovered high in the sky like one of the tallest mountain ranges. The various kitchen appliances were blurry planets that might as well have been across the galaxy. Mario could have comfortably ridden the tiniest ants at his current size.
Hopping to his feet, the minuscule plumber removed his cap and scratched his head in thought. Maybe he had consumed several poison mushrooms and the effects had stacked. Or maybe Kamek, Bowser's most powerful wizard, had created some kind of super poison mushroom. The thought made Mario sweat. Would he grow back after a while? And what should he do in the meantime? There was no way anyone would be able to hear or see him at this scale.
Mario's brainstorm was promptly interrupted by four distant ear ringing explosions, one after the other. "What could that be?" he asked, unnerved and shaken.
A few moments of silence followed, only broken by the ignorant happy chirps of birds outside. Then a voice echoed all around his shrunken body.
"Mario? Luigi? Are you here? That darn pipe is leaking again."
The sound of a massive door opening and closing made Mario stare off into space. He knew that voice...
"Is anyone here?" the female intruder called again as her colossal footsteps thundered closer and closer. Then, like watching an approaching tidal wave, an enormous pink yoshi materialized in the kitchen doorway. Her simple yellow boots came to a halt just before passing the threshold and her delicate blue eyes scanned the room. She blinked several times, hands on her hips, pouting with curiosity. Then she spotted the open pizza box. "Oooooh, pizza!" she cheered, waddling over to the table for a better look.
Mario was rocked on his feet as the titan moved to stand virtually right next to him. "Oh," he marveled, not accustomed to being around Marian at his current pitiful size. Normally he would have been delighted to see her... if she had been able to see him too that is. In the past few weeks he had come to know this yoshi well as a nice girl suffering an unfair share of plumbing problems. Her home's old iron pipes were falling apart and needed a lot of work. So she had become a bit of a regular at the office.
By bracing her palms against the table and rising up on her toes, Marian held her nose high over the pizza. She sniffed and hummed happily. "Extra cheese and pineapple," she thought aloud, "the ultimate combination."
Mario suddenly realized what she was thinking. "Hey, that is Luigi's!" he shouted. "You can't eat that!"
Marian failed to hear his tiny protests as she pulled a slice from the box and bit into it. Her loud sloppy chomps rang in Mario's ears as a symphony of squishes and squelches that made his shoulders deflate. He sighed in resignation. What could he do? Yoshis were infamous for their love of fruit and Marian was no exception. She was going to suck down every last bite.
"Hm, I wonder why Mario and Luigi would leave this out. I bet Princess Peach got kidnapped for the millionth time and they had to leave in a hurry," she giggled to herself. "Oh well, I might as well finish this for them then."
"Don't make fun... of... Peach..." Mario's words faded as a shadow fell over him.
His eyes widened, the sky now dominated by a smooth white backside as Marian stepped in front of the chair. Drops of sweat clung to her rear from being outside in the hot sun and a vile musk tainted the air. Then, like a crashing meteor, Marian's ass plummeted on his world.
Mario spun on his heels and dashed as fast as he could towards the back of the chair. With every step the mad rush of wind around him intensified and the light grew dimmer. Forget the pizza, his mind was set solely on getting out from under the rapidly falling rear before he was flattened. To think his training in the Olympics would be put to a use like this.
Mario was slammed to the ground and promptly pinned under 1.5 million tons of yoshi in a bone rattling earthquake.
Marian carelessly plopped down in the nearest chair and pulled another slice from the box. Folding the triangle like a taco, she licked up the dribbling cheese and slipped the end into her waiting maw. She then proceeded to eat at a leisurely pace, casually munching the bits of pineapple that danced on her sensitive tongue. Hums of pleasure filled the room like the delicious aroma of the fluffy crust. The tweeting of birds tickled her ears. So peaceful.
Mario's pained groans were the only sounds he could muster. "Mama... Mia," he grunted out of habit. The stench of yoshi sweat drowned what little air was available with a bitter taste that soured his mouth. Broiling heat and suffocating humidity quickly engulfed him like a monstrous sauna. The dull creak of the chair vibrated his body. And to top it all off, he was completely immobilized. Hard wood against his chest and a massive yoshi rear against his back. How he had survived the initial impact was a mystery on its own, but how he would survive being under Marian for any period of time was the mystery he desperately had to solve.
Bite after bite. Slice after slice. In minutes the rest of the pizza was gone and nothing but a grease-stained box remained. Marian burped cutely and covered her mouth with a blush. "Excuse me," she whispered. But the huge grin on her face betrayed her true feelings. It was times like these, when Marian was alone, that she readily indulged in unladylike behavior.
"I should throw this away," she thought aloud, standing from her seat.
Mario pulled the sudden fresh air into his lungs as deeply as it would go, threatening to burst his chest. "Oh finally." He couldn't even be bothered to pay the thunderous steps around him any attention. Instead, he rolled onto his back and spread his arms wide, focusing on one task. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Mario had never been so thankful for precious oxygen in his life. Forget underwater levels. Under_yoshi_ levels were tough.
Marian tossed the box in the trash and gazed out the window. Bracing her hands on the counter, she idly kicked a foot back and forth. "I guess I'll just wait for them to get back," she mumbled. Suddenly, an ominous rumble came from her tummy. Marian quickly decided she should sit back and relax. Let herself digest for a moment. So she waddled back towards the chair and spun her rear to face it.
Mario lifted his head slightly, eyes widening once more. "Not again!" he cried. Without giving him a second to prepare the colossal white ass fell into the chair and Mario could do nothing but throw his arms up in a pitiful attempt to stop Marian from crushing him. Of course it was hopeless and all at once that impossible weight bore down on him again. His lungs felt like they had been liquefied and what little air he had was again contaminated by Marian's sweat coated backside.
Marian bounced and giggled on the chair, but the bubbles in her belly made her pause. She leaned back, kicked her feet, and basked in the pleasant sensations that came after a large meal. Feeling full sure was nice. Especially when you were alone and free to... relieve some of the pressure. Marian flashed a toothy grin to the ceiling.
The meat of Marian's ass morphed around Mario and consumed his every sense. His clothes were soaked with sweat, most of it not his own. The only thing he could see was the white mountain of flesh trying to fuse with his face. All he could hear was the groans of the chair as it flexed with the yoshi's weight. His nose was filled with Marian musk. Even his mouth had been tainted by her rear when he foolishly tried to make a sound. Nothing but ass.
Fffffffrrrrrrrbbbbtt!"Ahh," Marian moaned as she farted.
In a single instant space was made for a massive explosion of rancid gas. The ceiling rippled outward above Mario's head as the miasma forcefully carved an escape route from under Marian's rear. For that brief moment the weight that had been threatening to pop him was gone, in its place a burning toxin that stung his eyes and tore past his skin. Then it was over. The huge weight fell on him yet again and there was pain. His nose burned, his eyes watered, and his body was threatened with obliteration.
Marian's pink face turned several shades darker as she scanned the room. The birds were still tweeting and she hadn't heard the door since arriving. She rubbed her belly with a sly smile. "Just one more," she murmured. This time, Marian leaned forward and gripped the edges of the chair. She grit her teeth playfully and squeezed. This fart was going to be a bit bigger.
The mountain of fat slid over Mario slowly, almost like a teasing massage. It was oddly pleasant in a way. It reminded him of a friend trying to smooth things over after a disagreement. Then everything was still. Mario took what little breath he could and held it. What was happening? The weight on top of him didn't seem as great as earlier and... was that tension in Marian's rear? Maybe the gas was messing with his--
PPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFBBBBBBBBBTTTRRRRRRRRBBBBTTTTT!"Oooooh!" Marian cooed.
At first Mario was held in place as the blast surged over him. The vile wind even stole his hat as it scratched at his outfit and bare face with its sheer overwhelming speed and power. Then, suddenly, he was airborne. Carried away by the ferocious expulsion to who knows where.
Marian laughed for almost a minute. Oh she was so naughty. The smell in that kitchen was awful and it only intensified with each passing second. Like eggs rotting in fast forward. Marian waved a hand in front of her face and coughed once. At least her stomach was settled for now. Standing up, she approached the window and took a big gulp of the clean breeze that gently seeped in. It was then that a thought occurred to her.
"This could take a while to air out. Maybe I shouldn't stick around, in case Mario or Luigi comes home to this."
So Marian made a beeline for the exit. The window was already open and the smell would pass eventually. Even if the brothers did detect something off, other than the missing pizza, they didn't have to know it was her.
Marian left the home as quietly as she could, an evil grin plastered to her face.
Meanwhile, Mario lay on the kitchen floor, bathed in noxious fumes. His favorite overalls would forever smell of giant yoshi farts. Consciousness was slipping and his eyelids drooped. His mind wavered and he could barely make out the thumps of Marian's departing footsteps. In the distance Mario could hear the door close and by instinct his mouth moved.
"Please... come a-again..."
The End
Author's Note:
My half of a trade with HyperLead. This was a fun challenge for me because I have never played a Mario game and had to do a little bit of research first. I'm pretty confident I got the basics right at least. Though I originally tried to give Mario an accent, it didn't look or read well. So I edited it out. Sorry everybody.
Note that Marian is HyperLead's character, not mine. He seemed happy with my work, so I guess I portrayed her correctly.
Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I have any rights to the Mario franchise blah blah blah don't sue me Nintendo please. I did not profit off the writing or publication of this work. Thank you.