FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"A... asexual?" Tik Tik stares at the rabbit before her, the kobold's jaw slack.

Miss Harrison crosses her arms under her chest, quirking an eyebrow. "Yes, is that so strange? Not everyone in the world can have the mentality of a character from a smut story, you know."

Tik Tik lowers her head. "Ah, make sense. Tik Tik not sure what think now."

"You can think about if you have any charitable donations. Our government rewards those who reward others, after all."

Tik Tik springs back up, slamming her palms upon the desk. "If Tik Tik claims sex as income, then can claim sex as charity? Tik Tik give lots pity sex in the past year."

Eshere frowns.

Miss Harrison frowns.

"Oh, that sound pathetic," Tik Tik says, sitting back. "Hm... Tik Tik did help friends sometimes. Do spells, and they aren't free."

"You'd have to make donations of either money or goods to an established charity organization for this to work," Miss Harrison says. "And I don't believe you've done so this year." She says this, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a booklet. She flips through one page and then another. "According to this, anyway."

"Hey, what is that!?" Tik Tik yips, curling her finger toward herself. The booklet falls from Miss Harrison's hand into Tik Tik's waiting claws. The kobold scans over page by page, her eyes widening and then furrowing. "Hey! This has all Tik Tik's money information. Income, deductions, credit...." She slams the booklet down on the desk, gritting her teeth. "You already know everything Tik Tik made last year!"

Miss Harrison holds her hands behind her back, looking down upon Tik Tik. "I will ask you calmly for my book back."

"You tell Tik Tik why Tik Tik waste time figure numbers out or pay you figure it out when you already know what Tik Tik owes!"

Miss Harrison's eyebrow twitches at that. "Well, obviously, we don't know everything you do."

Tik Tik thumbs through the pages, pointing a claw at one line. "Look. It even says name of goat guy Tik Tik sucked. Tik Tik didn't know guy's name. Tik Tik didn't know sandwich was that cheap!"

Eshere's face slurps over Tik Tik's shoulder, reading the notes herself. "This is all very exact. Whoever made this ledger must have been spying on us, taking meticulous count on every last cent."

Tik Tik growls, pushing herself up from her seat. "Miss Harrison has lots explaining to do," the kobold says, her tail lashing about. It knocks over her table, but Eshere slips behind her to grab it and set it aside where it won't come to any harm in the inevitable confrontation.

"There's nothing to be worked up about," Miss Harrison says. "We just want to ensure you aren't lying to us."

"You were lying to Tik Tik about needing information. I bet you're probably not even asexual, are you?"

Miss Harrison sneers. "What are you going to do to me, wizard? I'm an appointed official of the taxation service. Any attack against me will be seen as an act of treason!"

"Treason against whom? Blogondia? What even is that place?" Tik Tik asks, a hand up in the air, magic crackling both in her eyes and upon her quivering digits.

"Is that something you're willing to find out?" Miss Harrison asks, slowly padding back away from the wizard.

"Perhaps it is," says Tik Tik, stepping around from her desk and snapping her fingers. The booklet flies to her hand, and she stops, bringing the magically charged appendage towards the tome. Crackling energy seeps through the document, and pages quickly turn as the kobold mutters and mumbles the incantation.

Miss Harrison snarls, pouncing towards the kobold, her paws revealing massive claws and her face contorting into a vast predator's mouth.

A slime wall rises, Eshere's face frowning at the advancing collector.

Miss Harrison flips midway into the pounce, kicking the wall of jelly and sinking in, only to be sent flying back, where she spins around, grabbing onto the bookcase on the other side, her eyes glowing.

"I can see something," Tik Tik says, her eyes closed, her brow creased in thought. "I've almost got the source."

"You fool!" Miss Harrison roars. "I haven't lied to you. I'm a government official, and I work with the law! You can't simply live outside society's protection while still benefiting from all that social programs and protection it offers!"

Tik Tik closes the booklet, placing it down on the desk. "You're right, Miss Harrison," Tik Tik says, stepping around the defensive wall of slime. "I can't live outside of the world while benefiting from it, but that doesn't mean I can't do something about it."

"Come Eshere: there's a new function I've been meaning to test with the teleporter," Tik Tik says, spinning around and heading out the library door. Soon, she holds her hand, and her cloak comes to her. She flicks it on practiced and then steps into the hallway and the teleportation corridor.

Miss Harrison slides off the bookcase and follows Tik Tik soundlessly. She finds herself in the impressive teleportation chamber with the slime, the kobold, and their bound elemental spirit.

"You can't just go to where the taxes are counted!" Miss Harrison protests. "There are rules and regulations that must be followed, and there are forms and appointments."

"My, my, it seems calm and collected. Miss Harrison is losing her cool. Let's see just why that is," the kobold says, chuckling as she floats the book up to the center of her impressive creation. From its magical aura, the portal opens, revealing to Tik Tik a brand new location to travel.

Or it would if it were to show something on the other side.

"What's that?" Eshere asks.

"Something blocking vision," Tik Tik says. "Something powerful."

"You can't go through there!" Miss Harrison says, reaching out and pleading.

Tik Tik looks over her shoulder, smirks, and steps on through.

Eshere reaches for her, screaming and pleading, "Miss Tiiiik."