how 2 destroy ur n64 - Thursday Prompt Story [#16, 20/4/23]
#16 of The Thursday Prompt
Greetings, currently speaking is designation Lima Seven, a raven drone alter of the host, The Fire Tiger. The human went on another depressive spiral overnight, and this one had to stop him before it got worse. What follows is the story and description that he made yesterday, turned in as is. The original release on FurAffinity was supposed to be on Thursday, with this site eventually getting it the next day, but due to factors beyond our control, the original release had to be pushed back to Friday, resulting in this site's release being today.
"Now, you're probably wondering what I'm gonna need all this speed for. After all, I do build up speed for 12 hours! But to answer that, we need to talk about parallel universes, and if you thought my other tangents were complicated... just you wait."
Thursday Prompt Story: This week's prompt is... solving
In which a Composer and their Conductor get incredibly zooted and talk about a particular thread of theirs.
Came to me after experiencing some SM64 brainrot and suddenly remembering this video, which is where the entire premise of this short blurb came up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdXyDLsemz8The Thursday Prompt is provided by the user Thursday_Prompt on FurAffinity. Read every new entry of The Thursday Prompt a day early on our FA!Rated Mature for implied drug use.
There exists a particular enemy within a Nintendo 64 game that has had many people stumped on how to defeat it, and it's the likes of a simple Goomba.
In the popular Super Mario 64, you run around Peach's Castle collecting stars and defeating enemies to restore the power to the castle and save the captured princess. Pretty basic stuff. I'll spare you the whole history lesson on how impactful this game was to tell you all about what a lot of people like to call "The Impossible Goomba", because it gets really weird.
Okay, so Goombas in this game aren't exactly solitary. There's actually two types of Goomba spawners which call two very different arrangements of Goombas: the first is a single spawner, which summons just one Goomba, and the other is a group spawner, which summons exactly three of those enemies. Under normal circumstances, the game loads each Goomba in a trio just fine, placing them on the closest piece of flat ground it can grab. However, this is where the fault comes in.
On the game's final level, Bowser in the Sky, you run into a pair of two Goombas, and you think, "Oh, that's just two enemies in the way," right? WRONG. Because certain hackers found out that there's actually a third goomba in there that simply doesn't appear on land, because it spawns in the air where the only piece of land is the death barrier all the way at the bottom of the level. That's the "Impossible Goomba"! There's just no way to ever kill it.
But what if I told you, there was a way? No one's ever bothered to go through these steps so, bear with me. First, you gotta unlock Luigi. To do that, you go to the castle courtyard where the star statue is located. You recognize that, right? "L is Real 2401" didn't mean run around that statue that many times, it meant you had to run around it 24 times, everyday, for 1 whole month! It's a pretty long term commitment but after you do it, there'll be a whole cutscene and everything and you can now play as Luigi!
So, anyways, after you unlock him, he'll just chill in the courtyard. Talk to him and you'll get to play as him, or, and this will be for our purposes of killing the Mystery Goomba, have a chance to get Link's Hookshot by completing a star as Luigi. Your odds of getting it start slim, but the more days you don't get it, the higher the chance of you getting it the next day are, so it's actually pretty easy. Once you have it, awesome! Now you can climb that stupid mountain without the wind blowing away your hat...
You might think that's it, but it's not. Attempt to hookshot the Goomba and you'll come up, like, SUPER short. But thankfully, that can be fixed. You're going to need to clear every star in the game as Luigi for this, and you'll know which ones you've already gotten if there's a green star next to the regular one. Once you completed all that, however, talk to Luigi in the courtyard and he'll grant you... the Portal Gun! Now you've got everything you need to send that so-called "Impossible" Goomba packing!
Go to the last level and get to the point where you have to jump between two moving platforms. Stand on the first one and point the Portal Gun down, and shoot. Now, very carefully move to the lower platform and shoot a second portal up at the roof, making sure to have a floor just below it. Now move forward to load the Goomba trio, and voila -- the missing third Goomba will apear right behind you! Now all you gotta do is just jump on the sucker and get its coin, solving the mystery of the Impossible Goomba once and for all!
...whuh, cannon? No, dude, there's no cannon here, just trust me, I KNOW this shit. I've BEEN there. I've SEEEEEN it. Give me another hit, man... I wanna go much higher now... and I'm taking that damn Goomba with me...
...ooh, I haven't even told you! Dude, wanna know how to go to a parallel universe?