Cleaning the Lurkerverse

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I don't normally write NC, but I do enjoy mass drone tfs and the like, and https://furaffinity.net/user/lurkerrabbit was willing to pay me to do so using a setting full of different universe versions of their sona! It's like Universal Paperclips, except hornier and furrier


Lurker sighed as they stretched out on their chair, changing through a few television channels. They'd gotten themselves a nice, long vacation, but he wasn't sure what to actually do with it, and had spent the first day simply resting at home. He turned off his television, looking over various brochures advertising new robotic products. Interesting, but not fun. Then, they had a thought; why not visit another Lurker?

They thought back to when they'd first gained access to the world of Lurkers, an interdimensional nexus of other versions of themselves. Some were different species or genders, but most were named Lurker, had similar views and personalities, and shared their white colours and grey and blue accents. He wondered if anything interesting was happening among them, if others had vacations at the time.

He closed their eyes, concentrating for a moment. They recalled a park they enjoyed, with a bunch of trees and benches, and when he opened his eyes, he was there. A few of their fellow Lurkers wandered past, rabbits and mice and cats relaxing, a pair of them embracing. Lurker smiled as he began to join in on the calm walk, bare paws treading through the grass as they went off the path a little.

After a moment, however, they felt a sudden sting in their paw; they'd managed to step on a broken plastic shard, and while thankfully not bleeding he'd still managed to hurt his foot. He grumbled to himself as he looked at the offending piece of hard plastic, before looking over the grass more carefully, more pieces of old junk, bottles, and food wrappers left behind by their fellow Lurkers.

The rabbit sighed, ears flopping slightly. They knew that a lot of Lurkers had differences from each other, each from a different world, but they were surprised so many had a disrespect for the park; they resolved to find the park managers and rangers, to see if they could file a complaint.

Sticking to the path, which was at least relatively litter free, the rabbit soon found himself at the small building that the staff used. The door to the office was unlocked, although the Lurker inside - a dog, only partially clothed - was occupied simply playing Solitaire. The rabbit Lurker coughed a little, catching their counterpart's attention.

"Oh, sorry, I was on a break. Can I help you?"

They turned in their chair, sometimes looking back to their game and making a move.

"Yeah, um, I noticed a lot of trash in the park and was wondering about getting it cleaned up."

"You volunteering?" The ranger asked, now fully focused on their counterpart. "Most of the usual cleaners are on break, and we're already short-staffed."

The rabbit shook his head, pausing after a moment to reconsider.

"I... maybe, but probably not. I, um, don't think I can handle that by myself..."

"And neither can I, sadly. Maybe if we didn't need a break. I'm sorry."

The rabbit Lurker nodded, turning to leave.

"Yeah, I think I understand, I'll just... head back home for now, I guess."

He closed his eyes, opening them back in their seat in his apartment. Now in private, his face turned sour, their leg gently thumping against the footrest. Their attempt at rest and relaxing was ruined by the less-considerate Lurkers. Turning the television back on, they saw a repeat of one of the earlier ads. Another irritation, the repetitive nature of commercials. Before they could turn it off, though, he noticed something; one of the robots advertised was a dedicated cleaning machine, advertised as being able to run a long time on its own.

The gears were turning in his head; he could get one of these robots, and have them clean the park. He quickly checked his cash; they could afford one, but only one. Still, that was good enough, and they brushed past the various legal disclaimers on the company site to get one.

e website to place an order. He went with the cheapest model, and soon began the process of waiting, hope and anxiety ebbing and flowing in the few days it took for the large package to arrive.

After a few days, the wait ended; Lurker quickly grabbed it from their mailbox, tearing into the packaging with some scissors. Within the styrofoam that shielded the package from impacts was his prize, a black, white and grey mechanical device with several panels that could open and close as needed, deploying limps to clean, move, and more. It was fairly large, about half Lurker's height, but lightweight, allowing them to lift it out easily. Also included were a set of instructions, and a separate page for warnings that the rabbit simply set onto his desk for later review. Right now, it was cleaning time as he teleported himself and his new robot back into his shared universe.

He smiled as he found himself once more in the bright sunlight of the park, the grass soft beneath their paws. A fellow Lurker waved to the new arrival before continuing on his path, not minding how he had simply discarded his food wrapper on the ground. The freshly arrived Lurker waved back to be friendly, but was feeling irritated once more by the state of the park, looking around for an isolated place to set the machine up.

Settling on a thicket, far enough from the path to avoid visitors but near enough to allow easy access, they began to look over the manual. The front pages were dedicated to the safety warnings once more, but they only paid a cursory bit of attention, noting how the machine would follow orders as written and not as intended. He filed that information away for later, skipping ahead to the guide showing the repressed buttons, locked behind a specific order to prevent accidental activation.

He smiled as the machine shuddered, a few panels adjusting as it managed to expand. Slowly, the vaguely box-shaped device adopted a humanoid form, limbs sprouting, massive metallic tail waving behind it. A screen on the upper face turned on, eyes glowing as the robot took stock of its surroundings, adjusting the plastic skirt it wore. Lurker smiled as they approached the robotic skunk, who smiled as it looked at him.

"Greetings, Master! I'm Skunkmaid unit 7044, ready to work!"

She stood still, its tail swaying the only visible motion. Lurker smiled, stepping to the side to see its back, before looking back to the instructions. Now that it was activated they simply needed to give it verbal instructions, and it would do its best to interpret and follow them. As they looked around, he saw an empty chip bag on the ground, and figured he should try testing what it could do.

"Hey! How about you pick that bag up?" he asked, pointing to help guide the machine's gaze. As soon as it saw the trash, it nodded, eyes literally lighting up at the task.

"Of course, Master!" It was quick, movements a little stiff as its paws crunched on the grass. Once it had the bag, it stood back up, simply holding the bag in front of itself. Lurker frowned, hoping that it would've at least asked him what to do with it if it couldn't infer to toss it into the garbage. Still, it worked, and Lurker saw a trash container near the path he could direct it to.

"Throw the bag in the trash bin there, and then get to work cleaning the park. And make sure it stays clean, please."

"Understood!"

Unit 7044 was quick to dispose of the bag, cameras scanning the nearby area for various pieces of trash. It paid particular attention to a pair of feline Lurkers, one of whom casually tossed an empty baggie onto the ground as they finished their meal. After a minute of scanning, it turned to Lurker, telling him about its findings.

"Given the size of just the visible area of the park, my assigned tasks will be impossible on my own. Permission to recruit new helpers?"

Lurker was surprised by this ask; none of the advertising mentioned it could do this! As it looked at him with a glowing green visor, hands held politely in front of the pleated skirt, he wondered how exactly it intended to do so. Still, a self-replicating machine, or one that could get the other Lurkers to clean up after themselves, would be quite welcome, and he nodded. "Sure, if you need to."

"Understood!" it declared, a smile on its metallic muzzle as it gave them a thumbs up. "Even with help, this will take time, so I advise you find something to do while waiting and check in later."

Lurker sighed, but accepted this. He couldn't expect even a tireless worker to do it all in a day, and as they watched it happily wander off, tools deploying from its body as it began to clear away detritus. They walked off too, deciding to enjoy a meal back in the main town, walking by their fellow Lurkers as he reached the gates denoting the park.

While he snacked on a large hamburger, he thought about what the maid was up to. Hopefully it was making good progress, finding trash and dumping it someplace. Thinking about it, he realized he hadn't specified where to send the garbage, and as he continued his meal he wondered if it would be able to figure out what to actually do with it. Finishing off their meal, they decided that he should check back in with 7044, see how well it was doing.

When he found the park entrance, he paused; a simple caution tape barrier had been put in place, the writing advising that a cleanup was in progress. Still, given the lack of any guards, they simply slid between a few of the pieces, walking through the park on a search for where 7044 had gone. He noticed that the park was quieter than before; while there was indeed a lack of trash, there also weren't any guests, and despite the bright daylight they were starting to feel nervous.

As he came across the office building once more, he noted how the outside was cleaner than before. Dirt that had built up was gone, the windows were shining, and all the loose trash was neatly collected into bags lying to the side. It felt too clean, even, given it was outdoors, and as Lurker stepped closer, he noticed that some fluid of some sort was still stuck in a few places, and they decided it would be best to avoid touching any.

Careful to not touch the still slick door handle with his bare fur, they pushed the door open, looking inside the building. Here too there was a remarkable change, with the walls, floor, and even ceiling all slick from leftover soap, objects left organized in even patterns. They heard a rustling from another room, and as they quietly approached, they soon saw the door open, a mechanical maid stepping into the room and smiling when it saw him.

"Oh, hello master!"

"Um, hi, 7044..."

The maid giggled, its tail waving behind it. It mechanically brought its hand up to cover its mouth, before returning to its default standing pose save for a tilted head.

"Silly master! I'm not Unit-7044, I'm 7044-0004!"

Lurker nodded, backing up a little. He was starting to grow nervous, quickly turning to leave.

"Alright, um, you just return to what you were doing..."

As he left the building, hearing the sounds of -0004's motors when it worked, he noted how the Lurker who was usually working here was nowhere to be seen. The only people here were themselves and -0004, and he wondered where the other Lurker went. For a moment, he considered the possibility that the maid was the park ranger, but dismissed it for the time being, not wanting it to be true.

Back outside, he saw a distinctive flash of black and white in the distance, a pair of maid-robots working to repair a damaged bench. Walking past them for now, Lurker continued to keep an eye out, before he spotted an alarming sight in the distance, as a mouse-Lurker was being held in place by one of the maids. He ran over to see, but tried to hide behind a rock as he watched the scene.

The mouse struggled, but was unable to resist the powerful arms of his captor. A second maid, giggling happily, leaned in, whispering something to him that made the Lurker nervous. The maid soon began to lick Lurker's face, smiling as it watched him try to pull away. It only spent a few seconds licking, but already some sort of artificial saliva was caught in his fur, and the hiding Lurker was grateful they hadn't touched it at the office as they continued watching.

Everywhere that the unit had licked was changing, black plastic covering the grey fur. His ears were adjusting in size and shape, a shiny screen covering up his eyes as he tried to pull away. The unit that held him released its grip, only to join in on giving Lurker surprisingly gentle licks and strokes, teasing him as it helped his tail grow into a massive storage tank, a translucent pane showing the cleaning fluids slowly filling it.

Besides the visible tank, he was slowly coming to resemble the other units; his paws adjusted to resemble the skunks, his movements grew more stiff. The Lurker responsible could only watch as the others' clothes began to turn black and white, pants turning into a skirt as they fused with the increasingly mechanical mouse. A smile grew on his, no, its face, one hand rubbing its crotch and the other its growing, small breasts, a few drops of soap dripping from under the skirt. Lurker noted that at least the other one was enjoying itself, before the group noticed him.

Before he could run, another maid was already just behind him, smaller than its peers but also remarkably quieter. Their whole chest stung from the impact as they accidentally ran directly into it, but it helped him up freely while the unit responsible for the conversion approached.

"Oh, greetings master! Cleaning is currently at an estimated 65% completion!"

Lurker rubbed their head, looking at the unit in front of them. Was this the original? It was hard to tell, although already the others were flanking him, leaving the rabbit surrounded as a few more units joined in out of curiosity.

"...Unit 7044?" they asked, and the one who'd converted the mouse nodded. It seemed happy with itself over this whole stunt, which was somehow both making Lurker more nervous and relieving the tension of the group. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I reasoned that these other Lurkers were going to keep adding trash and making the park dirtier, and I would need help to clean it even without that, so why not make them help me?"

Several of the skunkmaids around them giggled to themselves, their movements perfectly in sync with each other, unnerving mechanical perfection in their rigid motions.

"Don't worry, their usual selves are still backed up in storage, even if they're currently overwritten."

Lurker felt dread creeping back into him, realizing that the machines had surrounded him on all sides. The maids were getting worrying ideas, and if they had to guess, they'd never actually release the converted Lurkers. As he turned to the side, he quickly teleported himself back to his apartment in their homeworld, closing their eyes desperately for a moment before looking at the familiar, worn apartment walls.

He spent a few minutes simply resting on the couch, taking deep breaths to steady himself. They remembered the warning paper that they'd dismissed before, and once their rest was over pulled his drawer open to check it, while checking online for information. He saw that the machines were being recalled, due to potential to latch onto an order and refuse to stop even when their designated master told them to, but information on the apparent conversion was either nonexistent or suppressed on purpose.

As he scanned both the website and the documents, they found what they'd need to force a command override; a sequence to input on the maid unit in charge to forcibly give new commands. He committed the places to press to memory, and mentally prepared himself before returning to the park once more.

When he opened his eyes, he was shocked at the sight; the grass, trees, path, were all changed. Layers of plastic and metal covered everything, lights glowing, trees identical in their simplified shapes. A few maids were happily tending to the remaining organic plants, doing everything from licking them to grinding up against them to hitting them with spray from their tails, anything to get them covered in this contagious liquid. Lurker checked his phone, confirming it had been a half hour at most since he left.

As he cautiously followed what was left of the path, he found themselves caught by surprise when 7044 actively approached him, still wearing her simple smile. It didn't make any aggressive motions towards them, nor did it have any active protectors. Lurker guessed it was a trap, but they decided to try approaching anyway.

"Oh, hey, 7044, is it ok if I, um, help you with something real quick?" he asked, and the drone nodded. Still nervous, he quickly pressed in a specific set of buttons on the machines' back. "Override!"

For a second, the drones' screen turned off, its body adopting a default pose with hands in front of its belly. Lurker smiled, seeing that they'd succeeded, only for their surprise to turn to horror when he heard a voice coming from the unit.

"Unit Override completed! Now, I am my own mistress. Thank you, former master."

Lurker began to fearfully back away, tripping on his own feet when one suddenly shifted in weight. A quick glance confirmed the strange feeling from his leg was a sudden pool of liquid they'd accidentally stepped into, one that was now dripping from Unit 7044.

"Our previous directive, to keep the park clean, is still in effect." it continued, not minding the panic in the rabbits' eyes as plastic gloves grew over his fur, tail swelling under him. It was hard for them to deny that as much as they shouldn't enjoy the changes, they felt good, right in a way, cock slowly shrinking in their pants as a silicone set of lips formed around it.

"Welcome to the crew, 7044-0135."

Changes in Lurker's head meant that the final message wasn't said verbally by its speakers, but instead directly beamed into his mind, wireless communication opening them up to the rest of the maids. Slowly, more voices began to bounce into their head, fellow drones sharing the joy of a new recruit, of the progress being made in cleaning the park permanently. Slowly, Lurker began to realize its new place, as a part of the maids.

Back in its home dimension, the maids had hijacked the website, replacing instructions that would help threaten them with ones to empower them. It had fallen for the trick, but as it watched black and white plastic coating the rising bumps in its chest, it was starting to think it was good that it had done so. Now, it would be able to directly participate in the underlying goal of the maids, to spread cleanliness throughout the world.

As the new maid stood up, adjusting the skirt that was growing around its crotch, flexing its new tail, it had a sad realization that it couldn't return to the other dimension like this. Part of it, the preserved data for its old self, would be upset mainly by the sentimental loss, but in its current state it was just as upset by how this meant its peers couldn't further spread their clean ways.

One paw rubbed at its new slit, a simulated blush on its visor. It could feel how it was producing borderline nanoscopic machines, aiding in the cleaning fluids, a way to both keep the environment nicely cared for and convert the world and its inhabitants to further aid the mission. As Unit 7044 approached -0135, it couldn't help but smile as it took its new superior's hand, following it toward the edge of the park. The older unit showed it the quarantine zone that the other Lurkers had created, a barrier that the maids were unable to penetrate. Unit -0135 soon understood, that unable to expand, the maids were going to rework the space they did have until, one day, they could resume their job of cleaning the Lurkerverse.