Tik Tik's Taxing Adventure 2

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#131 of Tik Tik's Tower

Miss Harrison schools Tik Tik on Taxes!

This is an entry into my holiday series. What started out as a simple story got really weird because I got covid halfway through writing it. Enjoy this fever dream!

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Posted using PostyBirb


Tik Tik sits at her study, her hands folded and her back straight. Miss. Harrison emerges from the darkness behind her, placing her soft paws upon the kobold's shoulders. "Congratulations, Miss Tik Tik. I've thoroughly reviewed your materials and determined a simple truth: You are not some malicious tax evader."

Tik Tik beams at this, fluttering her eyes and leaning to smirk at her guest.

Miss Harrison stands up, hands behind her back and hopping past the kobold. "Instead, you are a simple-minded girl who knows nothing of the order of things."

Tik Tik growls. "You trying insult Tik Tik?"

Miss Harrison turns the corner of a crimson eye towards Tik Tik, her frown not changing as she examines the kobold. "I am going to educate you. Now, if you would look to these notes."

Squeaky wheels herald the arrival of a chalkboard pushed by the slimy form of Eshere.

"Eshere, you work for her?" Tik Tik whimpered.

"Oh, no, Miss Tik. I'm just helping out. Miss Harrison told me everything already."

"It was a simple matter with her," says the rabbit, grabbing a piece of chalk from the board and tapping the block against the green surface. "If only educating others would be so direct."

Tik Tik bounces. "Tell Tik Tik about how you swap knowledge!" she says, knowing her slime's sexy means of scholarly activities.

"Unfortunately, I'm a busy woman," says Miss Harrison, scrawling away at the board, "We haven't the time, nor you the funds, for me to waste it on such frivolities."

"Funds?"

Miss Harrison spins around, tapping the board again. "Focus, Tik Tik. This is important. First: you should know that we live in a society."

"Tik Tik know that."

"Yes, but do you truly understand?"

"Huh?"

"Simply put, when you enter society, you enter what is known as a social contract. This social contract is an expected set of rules that all members of a society must submit to if they are to live and benefit from what the society provides."

"Uh, huh..."

And the backbone of any society is the body that determines the rules and the maintenance and regulation of running things. In something as simple as a kobold warren, you've certainly had your own hierarchy of who was in charge of what."

"Oh yes!" Tik Tik chirps. "Each kobold belonged to a team, and each team worked on different things to help the whole tribe. Tik Tik was trap maker and worked under master Tikit. Master Tikit and other masters worked for the queen."

"Very good, so we've established that so far. So, your queen probably oversaw your people's governance for the betterment of their development and their protection. She gave the orders to the various masters, and the masters gave orders to their subordinates to accomplish tasks."

"Yes, yes! Breeders make more kobolds. Trapmakers defend from outsiders. Guards defend from things below, miners expanded territory, and farmers prepared food."

"Just so, and you were part of this system, and you benefitted from that system, yes? Those traps you made protected others so they could dig, breed, farm, and guard."

Tik Tik scribbles down notes. "And other society do similar things, yes? Make sense, make sense? But why scary bunny lady come in and tell Tik Tik she need money?"

"Obviously, your system of government was different than the one you find up here in the world above. While you were much more self-sufficient, the world above comprises multiple countries and societies. Unlike the masters of your system, the leaders do not have one leader above them to give orders. So, they do not often work together; instead, they allow each other to exist in the same world most of the time."

"Uh, huh..." Tik Tik says, scratching her nose. "So, this tax thing is...?"

Miss Harrison approaches Tik Tik's desk, her paws pressed upon the wood, leaning in and giving Tik Tik a nice view of her tightly bound chest under her high-necked suit. "Your queen needed various resources to run her kingdom. She needed food and supplies to give out to other members of your tribe so that they may do their work. The people of your tribe gave each other their supplies so they may do what was necessary."

"Yeah."

"A society as advanced as the aboveground has much more things to work towards--education, art, infrastructure, and military operations. These all require resources to operate."

"So, people give their stuff to each other to help out. Happy friends, happy giving."

"If only," the rabbit says, standing up. She shakes her head. "But there are those who are unhappy with giving what they are required to be a part of society, and it is up to people like me to make sure that they do."

"This sound like protection racket," says Tik Tik. "You trying strong-arm Tik Tik."

"Oh, I assure you, I'm not doing anything of the sort. I am making sure you give me what is due."

"And what is due?"

"That, I haven't counted quite yet," the rabbit admits. "But in an abstract sense, what you owe is a percentage of what you earn from your business. This percentage will go to the government so that it will be able to fund all sorts of programs for the betterment of society. New schools and new roads and food for the hungry, and research into new magical applications will abound, but only if people in society give the money they require."

"Oh, I see," Tik Tik says. "But Tik Tik like her money."

"Many do," says Miss Harrison, "but don't worry. Depending on what it is you did give already and the work you've done for society throughout the year, you can actually receive money back from the treasury. You just need to tell us all that you did."

And upon hearing that, Tik TIk was well on board to learn!