Acceptance: His Last Letter
Okay, so... This is one of the stories I've been working on, and I've finally gotten the first chapter done... Oh god... Not another series.... Three at one time... good god. This first story has no 'yiff',' no sex, nothing... But Like all of my stories I plan to include it, but I felt that this first chapter really had no place for it... Enjoy.
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Acceptance
"Are you Kasten Cavné?" The large wolf asked in a deep bass as Kasten opened his dorm room door. The bobcat regarded the wolf who was dressed in sharp military clothing; the formal wear variant; not the camouflaged outfit seen in war films.
"Yes..." He answered, suspicion bubbling up as he realized the unexpected visit of the military could only be due to an investigation of Carlos' sexuality. The wolf's ears went down and his gaze drifted to the floor.
"I'm sorry... But, I'm here because of Carl." The wolf explained, his tail dropping down between his legs, broad shoulders sagging. Kasten's gut fell with the wolf's tail. If it was an official visit, then the military would have used Carlos' full name and rank.
But a personal visit was just as foreboding.
"Please come in." Kasten spoke, taking on a much gentler tone. The bobcat stepped aside and let the hulking wolf through. He took a moment to examine the wolf again. He was easily one of the tallest people he'd ever seen; as he bent his body over to pass through the doorway. He was wide to. Though it was obviously all muscle judging from how little of a midsection and rear he had. Kasten also noted a limp in the wolf's stride. He had to be out of service due to injury. His fur was gray, verging on light blue with a white patch on the tip of his jaw. Hubert would flip over him. he noted, smiling briefly.
Kasten pulled his chair from his work desk and offered it to the wolf. While he took a seat on his own bed.
"What's your name?" Kasten asked, sitting straight and giving the wolf his full attention. The chair squeaked in protest as the wolf placed his weight on it.
"Corporal Nickolais. But I'd prefer just Nick." Nickolais answered, still staring at the ground.
"Okay. Nick, why are you here?" Kasten asked. Nickolais gave a faint, but empty smile as he looked around the room, his eyes starting to shine with the first signs of tears as they settled on a picture of Kasten and Carlos.
"Carl was killed in action... Our squad was one of the first five sent out on the Hailstrom mission." Nickolais started.
"Oh, god." Kasten's paw went to his mouth, and tears welled under his eyes. The memory of watching the coverage after the event flashed through his mind as well as the feeling of miserableness that had haunted him for weeks afterwords.
One-hundred-fifty-four American soldiers killed. Seventy-six were wounded. Two
days of nonstop fighting in middle of saudi arabia. He had wished, hoped, dreamed, even prayed at one point that Carlos had made it out alive. But he had received no information.
"He was killed three hours before reinforcements were able to reach us. One of the 'radicals' made it past Blacks... Err... Dallis... he was caught in the reload... Point blank... an entire clip... We didn't know until we heard something, it sounded... I can't describe it... we all heard it... His gun... We never heard Dallis... but the moment it fired on Carl and Elia... I knew... He'd been bandaging up Elia. E' Didn't even know until it was too late." Nickolais had tears running down his muzzle as he remembered the event. Kasten had his muzzle in his paws, great shudders coursing through his body, with his knees pulled to his chest.
Nickolais fidgeted, looking around once again. He had imagined the visit being quick. A simple promise to Carlos fulfilled. To give the letters to the college student in front of him. That was the promise. Simple in plan. It wasn't supposed to be a discussion.
He pulled a bundle of letters from his pocket and set them on his lap, and gave Kasten time to collect himself.
"I'm sorry... I don't really know what to do here... E' never told me E' was gay... E' gave me a letter and said that if I made it out alive I could open it if I wanted... Or if E' was killed, to open it as well... I wish I wasn't the one to have to tell you this... But E' made me promise to see you if E' died... In the letter..." Nickolais started, "E' wanted me to give you his other letters... The letter E' gave me told me how to find you... and well... Ugh, never mind. I think the letters will explain it all." Kasten looked up from his paws, his eyes bright red, and fur matted down in wet clumps on his cheeks. As if he had just started paying attention.
"L-letters?"
"Yes. E' wrote at least one letter every two weeks since we were shipped out." Nickolais handed over the thick bunch of papers, smiling sadly. "He didn't deserve to die like E' did... Hell. No one did. But especially not Carlos."
"Thank you..." Kasten spoke quietly, staring at the letters in his paws. A moment of silence passed by where the wolf seemed torn between getting up and walking out, or saying something more. But he shook his head and stood. Then started moving towards the door, bowing to pass through it again.
"I'm truly sorry." He spoke as he walked away, closing the door and leaving the
bobcat alone.
As the door closed, Kasten removed the rubber-band holding the letters together and flipped the first one over. It was dated September fourth, two-thousand-thirty. Two weeks before Hailstrom. He then looked at the one below. It one was labeled June tenth. Only a short time after he was shipped out.
Kasten continued looking through, until he reached somewhere in the middle of the pile where he found a letter dated September twenty-fourth. The first day of Hailstrom. The idea that the letter was the last one Carlos had ever written tore at his heart. He felt along the envelope carefully, sniffling with trepidation at opening the envelope. Then he found something that was not paper beneath the envelope, and curiosity forced him to open it just to know what was inside.
Slowly he tore the envelope with a claw, sliding it along the seal and carefully prying it open. Inside was a crumpled and mistreated letter, as well as what appeared to be a metal necklace. Carlos' dog-tags.
With an air of caution he removed the tags, then the letter and unfurled it. There were creases from where it had been crumpled and shoved into a pocket, as well as a dark stain. On the paper was Carlos' scrawled handwriting.
'Hey Kasten,
I hope you've been doing well. I'm doing good for the most part... It's hard to hear everyone talk about their girlfriends or wives back home right now and to be unable to talk about you. Especially since we're going into a war zone now... And I don't mean to sound pessimistic or anything, but I doubt we'll make it out. This entire thing is botched. Just like BlackHawk Down.
We've lost so many already and even though it's calmed down here a bit we're tired... I heard reinforcements were getting hell too. City fighting isn't easy. It's not like the movies. I don't get any chances to be a hero. But neither does anybody else... It's just who can survive.
On the bright side, if I live, it's only four more months and I'm done. I'll be back, and we can enjoy life again. I'm done with this. With fighting. I don't like it. Especially here. It's hard to know who's an enemy and who isn't. They all dress the same. And I don't like this constant feeling that I could be killed and no one would know who had done it... Or that I would never see you again... I don't want to see people I care about die anymore.
We lost Jeremy today... The little fox I call Flamer in the other letters... A RPG blew away part of a roof and a chunk fell on him... He was there one moment... Then gone the next... At first I hoped it had fallen in front of him, but then bigs lifted the pile with Dalis and he I knew he wasn't going to make it. I don't ever want to see anything like that again. Half of his skull was flattened... It caught him on the edge. If he had been back a few inches more... I could still see his other eye open. Staring at me. And He tried to mouth something to me... and I didn't realize until afterwards that he had still been alive. If I close my eyes I see him...
Bigs has been helping me though. He knows how scared I am. I've trusted him the most. He's the only one who still has a positive outlook on this. His 'corn-fed' country personality is what does it. He acts like everything is simple. We'll hold tight, kill some extremists, reinforcements will break through and then we'll go back and eat. It sounds easy when it's worded like that... I'm sorry that if I die you won't know. I can't do anything about it... but the moment that Bigs gets out, he'll give my letters to you. He's too nice to say no.
Here's with hope of seeing you soon. Love always.
~Carlos T. Jactell'
Kasten finished the letter and stared the paper in one paw, while the other held the dog tags tightly. His eyes moved back up to the top of the letter and he started reading again. Then the door was flung open as a white rabbit dressed in black rushed in.
"Kasten! You won't guess what I just saw! One of the biggest wolves I've ever seen! He was huge... and oh, his color..." Hubs squeaked excitedly as he burst in through the door. Then, seeing Kasten's state he calmed, "What happened?" He paid no attention to the white rabbit that had burst in until he had finished reading the letter. He held up the dog tags, to show Hubs, but from Hubs' angle he wasn't able to see what Kasten was holding. "I'm sorry, what is it?" Kasten let the plates fall so he was holding only the chain.
The rabbit's eyes widened and he placed a paw over his mouth, his mind jumping to conclusions as he remembered the wolf had been with the military. "They found out that he's gay didn't they." Kasten shook his head.
"That wolf told me he was killed in action. He was here to give me letters. Carlos' letters... and his dog-tags." Kasten sobbed. Hubs didn't respond, but moved to the cat and wrapped his arms around the feline. "He died during Hailstrom... He... Nick... The wolf... he gave me Carlos' letters. The ones he couldn't send."
"Oh hunny." Hubs sighed. Hubs spoke, trying to comfort the bobcat.
"I.. he wasn't supposed to be shipped out."
"But he was." Hubs commented, his voice becoming neutral. Kasten looked up at the rabbit, the sorrow still evident, even if he had drained himself of tears. "Kasten..." Hubs started, moving to the bobcat and sitting next to him. "I'm... He..." He struggled to find the right words to console his friend, but stopped and pulled the cat into a hug.
Kasten clutched onto Hubs, burying his muzzle into the crook between the rabbit's neck and shoulder. Hubs reached up and patted Kasten's head, cooing softly.
"you two had a good time together..." Kasten did not respond. "Come on Kasten... You need to calm down... Let's go somewhere else... Eh?" Hubs offered, pulling the cat up and walking him towards the door. Kasten followed lifelessly, his head down, and ears flat.
"Let's go out to Akaba's. Some sushi'll help get your mind distracted." Hubs
smiled, holding the door open for Kasten.
"Thank you." Kasten mumbled weakly as he walked through.
"See. Getting you away from here is already helping you." Hubs beamed, doing his best to cheer up his friend.
Akaba's was a small local sushi bar on the Green Veil College Campus, owned by a large family of white wolves that had been living in the area for generations. It was a stretch for most college students to justify eating there as their prices were high, and as such, it was rare to see the student eating sushi in the same month. The inside decorations were a cross between modern and Asian, combining earthy, neutral colors with that of Eastern art and decorations.
"We'd like some tea to start please. Green for me." Hubs addressed the waitress politely. The waitress nodded, then turned to Kasten.
"Same for me." Kasten spoke, keeping his voice low and eyes down, so it appeared he was staring through the table and at some stain on the floor which was completely absorbing his attention. The waitress bowed, then walked away. Hubs pulled the order sheet over and started to check off what he wanted. When he was finished, he offered the paper to Kasten, who ignored it.
"Fine I'll order for you." hubs sighed, checking off two dishes he knew Kasten would eat. He set the order down at the end of the table, and the two waited patiently for the waitress to return with their tea.
The door chime tinged as the door swing open to make way for a group of college students who proceeded t take the largest table and talk amongst themselves, enjoying the night. The waitress returned with the tea, and silently swapped their order sheet out for their drinks, then walked off to take care of the new customers.
"That fox looks like Carlos." Kasten commented quietly as he watched the group.
"A bit." Hubs nodded in agreement, "But he's not the right color." Kasten stared at the fox, a tall swift with brown eyes, dressed in a dark green turtle neck and wearing thin glasses. "And Carlos would never be caught dead in a turtle neck." Hubs snickered as an after thought.
"I guess." Kasten sighed. The fox was talking with two other friends in the group, a raccoon, and a badger. Kasten swiveled his ears in towards the group to try and listen in on the conversation curious as to what they could be talking about. He was able to catch snippets, but lost interest as the topic drifted from what started as classes, to sports, then women. "he's not like Carlos."
"Carlos is gone Kasten." Hubs spoke, hating himself for being so calloused, but knowing he had to save his friend from even thinking about looking for someone who would be a replacement. "Accept it." Kasten stared hubs dejectedly, his lips quivering as he neared another breakdown.
"I know..." The waitress walked back, carrying a tray with four sushi dishes on it, and placed each one in the center.
"I ordered you the Shrimp Veil, and Tuna Rainbow. I know you like those." Hubs stated, attempting to change the subject. Kasten nodded, then pulled over the Tuna Rainbow dish and opened the pair of chopsticks that came with it. The waitress started to walk away again, but Kasten stopped her.
"Could I have some Saki please?" He asked. The waitress held out her paw. Kasten pulled his wallet out and gave her his I.D while Hubs did the same.
"It'll be here in a moment." She smiled sweetly once she had confirmed their ages.
"Thank you ma'am." Kasten nodded. He lifted a piece of sushi up with his chopsticks and ate it. "Thank you Hubs." He added as well.
"Just be careful. Drinking away you sorrows isn't good."
"I'll share." The feline answered back his muzzle turning up in a weak smile.
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"I don't wanna go back..." Kasten whimpered, holding tightly to Hubs as he walked unsteadily back into the dorm building. Hubs nodded and helped pull the sloshed feline up the stairs. "I don... wanna be alon..." He pleaded resting his head on Hubs'. Hubs opened the door to his dorm and guided Kasten to the bed.
"I'll keep you company tonight." Hubs smiled, letting kasten go so they both could strip down for bed. "It's a good thing you don't have classes tomorrow."
"Ya..." Kasten agreed, already down to his boxers. The feline slid into Hubs' bed and curled up. Hubs followed suit shortly after, hugging his friend tightly.
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Any and all comments are appreciated... or critics... or just advice or input (I know input is technically the same as comments, but hey. Input is better in that it can help generate ideas.)